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Quote: 8396; Rating: 174; [+|-]
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<kipozo> motardo: Lindows is installing from my D: but it's looking under my A:.... looks like windows too much already
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Quote: 8397; Rating: 178; [+|-]
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<iora> i steal no hearts.
<iora> brains are more valuable on the black market.
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Quote: 8398; Rating: 696; [+|-]
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<f48u10n7> this dude I know was sleeping with this girl, and she had really long hair. so he gets up in the middle of the night to take a crap, and he finishes his business, but when he stands up, he feels a tug--turns out his turd is attached to his rectum via a long hair. he had to hobble over to the sink to get
scissors
<taylah> what
<taylah> okay
<taylah> im confused
<nimh> f48u10n7: that's happened to me before
<f48u10n7> see, he must have swallowed some of her hair in the night
<nimh> i've pulled one of my ex's long hair outta my ass before
<taylah> haha oh
<taylah> my
<f48u10n7> i'm glad I only sleep with bald chicks
<`Benny`> that's the most disgusting thing I've heard in a long time and I'm in here a fair amount of time
<taylah> god
<PunkRawk> like outta yer asshole nimh?
<aem`key> f48u10n7 lol
<aem`key> :)
<nimh> right out
<nimh> i felt it as i tugged it out
<nimh> i even called her over to take a look at it
<nimh> i was like, "cait, this is your fault."
<nimh> she was like, "what, EWWEWWEWE!"
<nimh> and ran away screaming
<f48u10n7> yikes
<f48u10n7> anyway, my point was, that's kinda like spidey shooting webs from his ass
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Quote: 8402; Rating: 327; [+|-]
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<jebs> haha i thought the dude on this ad said 'MORE OF THE WORLDS MOST TERRIFYING MULLETS'
<jebs> but he said moments
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Quote: 8404; Rating: 17; [+|-]
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<Falkonn> okay...now make the logical connection to this----> <Deciheximal> No household is complete without Jesus... He's on call to beat the wife when the husband is away.
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Quote: 8405; Rating: 20; [+|-]
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<Prison_Shank_Blues> i found a fuckin tampax in a public pool
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Quote: 8409; Rating: 205; [+|-]
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<mindlace> i ate a pig that had probably been tortured its entire life before finally being put out of its misery in a festering pile of its screaming kin.
<space> i mean, part of the fun of having a pet is being able to interact with it
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Quote: 8412; Rating: 128; [+|-]
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<Twisty> Fkn ETG banned me for 24 hours :/
<Twisty> TOok me forever to get back on :(
*** Twisty has quit IRC (Killed (AdminServ (Insecure Connection (Type Insecure HTTP Bounce - Port 3128) - for help to get your security fixed plz go here: http://help.enterthegame.com/services/security.htm)))
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Quote: 8413; Rating: 252; [+|-]
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<ohio_ohio2> so what is the world coming to?
<X-Chaos-X> orgasms.
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Quote: 8417; Rating: 23; [+|-]
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<ChuffyCow> Norman Virus Defense -- a fat geek sits on your computer, and spills donuts and coke on your computer, "disinfecting it"
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Quote: 8423; Rating: 146; [+|-]
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<SuperGayAllah> ok, who is the hairiest girl in here?
<Phuser> you are dude
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Quote: 8424; Rating: 177; [+|-]
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<[Phoenix]> My keyboard is gay?
<Howdy> yes, but thats no reason to feel uncomfortable.. a gay keyboard can touch your digits and it not be sexual
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Quote: 8425; Rating: 218; [+|-]
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<RaedonWolf> the shortest day of the year is the 8th of december, the longest day is xmas with your relatives
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Quote: 8427; Rating: 15; [+|-]
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<Nex> Damn it I feel ill since I told that window cleaner bloke I didnt want to buy any cleaning fluid
<Nex> I bet he was a gypo and now I am cursed
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Quote: 8428; Rating: 4; [+|-]
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*** overloaded has quit IRC (Quit: i'm outta here like a dyke fleeing dick.)
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Quote: 8431; Rating: 692; [+|-]
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<DjShoryu> one time my friend got so drunk he thought legos were candy
<buttonsDIE> you mean like he ate them?
<DjShoryu> no, hes an artist
<DjShoryu> he built an apple , then ate it
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Quote: 8434; Rating: 165; [+|-]
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<Ag3ntOrangE> I like that one song by Alice Deejay...
<Ag3ntOrangE> except for the part that goes: "Do you think your better off alone?"
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Quote: 8437; Rating: -21; [+|-]
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<Medrawt> I almost always get laid when I've given up looking for a root. Fact.
<Medrawt> I think girls can smell desperation
<drewb> no, they can smell your cheap aftershave
<drewb> when you stop wearing the shit aftershave, they can tolerate you
<Medrawt> No they can't, I wear none
<thrase> If you weren't such an arrogant git drewb, you'd probably pass as funny
* Medrawt relies on pheremones
<drewb> if you werent such a fuck up thrase, youd probably pass as human
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Quote: 8438; Rating: 271; [+|-]
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<cactoid> my god, the new lara croft has enormous gonzagas
<cactoid> i wonder if she goes for overweight australian it professionals
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Quote: 8440; Rating: 119; [+|-]
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<Excession> I'm getting seven figures. "FUCK ALL"
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Quote: 8441; Rating: 323; [+|-]
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<Doc> ok... kitchens clean, bathrooms clean
<Doc> thats the two easiest to clean rooms of the house done...
<cactoid> is that because you always eat out and you never shower?
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Quote: 8443; Rating: 310; [+|-]
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<sisko> did you castrate jason for hiding the pron?
<Kaff> no. that would defeat the purpose.
<sisko> suppose so.
<Kaff> i just shook my fist a lot and said "grr"
<sisko> haha. and I suppose he was utterly intimidated
<Kaff> like a good husband, he's suitably scared of me.
<Kaff> he's seen me naked.
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Quote: 8447; Rating: 175; [+|-]
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<Ryk> one of my favourite pastimes spotting boobjob scars.
<Ryk> nothing sexual about it. just like to beat the airbrush.
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Quote: 8448; Rating: 236; [+|-]
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<MMouse> finding me a CIO or CTO position is harder
<undrewb> heh
<jamesn> *laugh*
<jamesn> your going for upper management jobs?
<MMouse> of course ;)
<jamesn> you cant even get a bill paid on time:)
<MMouse> that actually makes me more suited for upper management
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Quote: 8449; Rating: 210; [+|-]
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<undrewb> you know max, while the paralympics were very inspiring, you shouldnt let them delude you into thihnking all retards can achieve the impossible :)
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Quote: 8450; Rating: 263; [+|-]
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<Tippytoes> i got a cute winnie the pooh keyring for my bike today
<Tippytoes> he's cuddling piglet
<undrewb> aww thats nice
<undrewb> uh
<undrewb> thats not cuddling
<Tippytoes> or slipping him the pork sword
<Tippytoes> oh well
<undrewb> THATS ILLEGAL IN TASMANIA
<Tippytoes> piglet's happy
<Tippytoes> he's smiling
<jamesn> piglet is a bitch
<Tippytoes> or it could be a wince
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Quote: 8451; Rating: 131; [+|-]
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<Tippytoes> somewhere in the world, there has to be some chicks that ride motorbikes who are tomboys who also do x-stitch
<sisko> probably
<sisko> that's what women's correctional facilities are for
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Quote: 8452; Rating: 17; [+|-]
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<Mousey> haha quarter chicken from mcdonalds
<mk4> whats quarter chicken ?
<mk4> like a quater pounder ?
<Punk-In-Drublic> well its not quiet a halfd of a chicken dave
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Quote: 8453; Rating: 16; [+|-]
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<Dac> ok, what does 'LUG' on a rental property listing mean?
<tm> Lots of Ugly Guys
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Quote: 8454; Rating: 205; [+|-]
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<helminthes> throw caution to the wind and then piss right into it
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Quote: 8455; Rating: 123; [+|-]
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<Pat> i had to go to hospital after because of complications
<Bleve> Pat was very complicated, they removed his arsehole by mistake
<Mandi> heh
<Bru> what's that in the middle of his face then??
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Quote: 8457; Rating: 378; [+|-]
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<thrase> i hate programming
<thrase> why couldn't i be a rock star
<undrewb> cause you have the charisma of a programmer
* Mandi chortles
<undrewb> and the programming skills of a rockstar :)
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Quote: 8458; Rating: 279; [+|-]
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<Punk-In-Drublic> THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE SUCK COCK ...Mousey, Dave, Vas, Belindah..........YALL CAN GAT FUCKED COS IM DRUNK WOOOOOOOOO ......BOOBIES WOOOOOOOOOO'
<Mousey> why am i first
<Mousey> thats really insulting
<vas-deferens> because your the best at iut
<mk4> why am i second ?
<vas-deferens> shit im third
<vas-deferens> i better work on my technique
<vas-deferens> at least im beating a chick
<Mousey> hahahah
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Quote: 8461; Rating: 148; [+|-]
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<Mandi> kaff still looking at dicks?
<Kaff> nah sharks
<Mandi> same diff
<jamesn> cocks with teef
<Kaff> yeah they all make you bleed in the end
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Quote: 8462; Rating: 204; [+|-]
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<Rafeil> wimberly!
<Rafeil> wesely wimberly. the joke was if kim married him her name would be kimberly wimberly
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Quote: 8463; Rating: 142; [+|-]
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<Ryk> after the man has shot his wad is the perfect time for the woman to vacate the room and quietly catch up on a bit of beaver bashing in the privacy of the kitchen.
<Tippytoes> shouldn't she have a satisfied afterglow?
<Ryk> she can glow when my dinner's ready.
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Quote: 8464; Rating: 213; [+|-]
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<jamesm> what's a java strategy?
<undrewb> jamesm : its a paradigm shift to e-leverage your legacy OLTP system to implement pervasive business systems
<jamesm> is it like a builder with a 'brick strategy' ?
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Quote: 8465; Rating: 510; [+|-]
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<undrewb> I'm gonna make my thesis opensource so developers all round the world can work on it for me
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Quote: 8466; Rating: 159; [+|-]
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<helminthes> hey i had a vision today of some fat old man with a dog sitting on campus and he goes, "hey, pet my dog" and i say, "heh no thanks i gotta go to class." "but the dog's cute, look at him." "no man, see ya" "DOG HATER!!! DOG HATER!! HE JUST HIT MY DOG IN THE FACE" {i run away}
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Quote: 8468; Rating: -8; [+|-]
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* Tippytoes looks at kaff's box
<Tippytoes> err
<Tippytoes> that sounded bad
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Quote: 8469; Rating: 169; [+|-]
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<helminthes> that's like one of those dennis miller jokes.. no one gets it, no one cares then everyone forgets about it and an afghan woman dies of heatstroke
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Quote: 8470; Rating: 298; [+|-]
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<PsykoFaerie> everyone got into discussions about how i must have an eating disorder. :|
<monk[e]> psyko, if you throw up right after eathing... intentionaly... you have an eating disorder
<Aelhaeran> Pysko: and if your prone to sharp, stabbing pains in your eye after a meal, chances are you have a fork lodged in it.
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Quote: 8471; Rating: 1170; [+|-]
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<sisko> Q. What's the height of conceit?
<sisko> A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
<mmm> i do that
<mmm> "oh god"
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Quote: 8472; Rating: 435; [+|-]
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<helminthes> and the little basket at the counter says tips, so you hock a big loogie in it and then you realize what you did and say, "oh shit i'm dyslexic"
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Quote: 8473; Rating: 205; [+|-]
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<sisko> I want to crawl up into the place I once was.
<mandi> the end of your dad's cock?
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Quote: 8474; Rating: 499; [+|-]
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[03:01]<monkey1> at least im not on IRC at 3 AM!
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Quote: 8476; Rating: 264; [+|-]
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<tm> meetings, the alternative to work
<Dane> meetings, the PRACTICAL alternative to work
<Rushn> Masterbation, the FUN alternative to work
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Quote: 8477; Rating: -8; [+|-]
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<helminthes> was the party cool?
<helminthes> like did you fuck any hoes
<rafeil> heh, no hoes
<helminthes> not even one? i mean at least one right
<rafeil> i just drank a little and talked
<helminthes> fucked her right in the face right
<rafeil> yeah
<helminthes> she was gagging out all your children just like a bitch
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Quote: 8478; Rating: 192; [+|-]
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<cactoid> you're all gay
<cactoid> and those of you who are married, everyone knows it's a marriage of convenience
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Quote: 8479; Rating: 134; [+|-]
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<Kaff> its saturday night. what are you doing here
<Kaff> i thought you'd have too much of a social life.
<spoob> Parts of me love interacting with other parts of me, but as a whole, I'm about as popular and loved as jamesm
<Kaff> oh. so you're a dead shit.
<spoob> Succinct, cruel, and accurate
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