|
Quote: 55872; Rating: 2; |
<[N]> if a chick just comes over gives u head and leaves
<[N]> it just rules
<[N]> for lazy ppl
<[N]> u could even irc while getting the job done
<WTM2K> would that be like road head?
<[N]> hahah
<WTM2K> irc head... geek version of road head
|
|
Quote: 5579; Rating: 452; [+|-]
|
<|argh|> I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled KY Jelly.
|
|
Quote: 663726; Rating: 395; [+|-]
|
<drjazz> I don't use an IP address, too dangerous
<DeeTee> yeah, all those websites kept telling me my ip address. was like wtf, so i rang my ISP and asked them to delete it.
<drjazz> indeed, I got that error that my computer was broadcasting an IP address
<drjazz> took care of that shit pronto
<DeeTee> oh hell yeah, cant have that shit out there for those fucking crazies to use.
|
|
Quote: 36635; Rating: 24; [+|-]
|
<Inferi0r> sean, hrm, i cant buy "getting laid" on ebay
<Sean> "your search for 'getting laid' returned 0 results, please check later
|
|
Quote: 872; Rating: 331; [+|-]
|
<LkTruth1> Hmm, I haven't realized until lately that Zophar is using ZD to bitch about his life.
<BlackDeTh> "9/14/99 - VGB 4.5 is out, I'm still a virgin."
|
|
Quote: 16264; Rating: 204; [+|-]
|
<UGPYitEarp> I think part of McDonalds employee training is a seminar called "dealing with the failure you call life"
|
|
Quote: 48184; Rating: 169; [+|-]
|
(datacide) i just pissed out of the porch door and didn't notice the bitch from next door watching me :/
|
|
Quote: 6994; Rating: 632; [+|-]
|
<mgod> weights 300 or something
<mgod> she sez she has a thyroid problem
<bats> um i didn't know nabisco made thyroids
|
|
Quote: 576041; Rating: 1501; [+|-]
|
<timmo> 20% of americans believe the sun revolves around the earth, 17% of the people who know that the earth revolves around the sun, believe it does so every 24hours
<timmo> jesus
<timmo> people are fucking morons
<wind`> wait what
<wind`> doesn't the earth revolve around the sun in 24 hours?
<timmo> well i guess we found one of the 17%
|
|
Quote: 396394; Rating: 482; [+|-]
|
ShoMonkayHe: Guess what
Maxx Stepper: you lost our virginity?
Maxx Stepper: your*
|
|
Quote: 84661; Rating: 237; [+|-]
|
<CryptoKnight> i was at my girlfriend's house yesterday
<CryptoKnight> and we are having sex
<Hektik_Sniper> ...
<Hektik_Sniper> TMI
<CryptoKnight> and then we hear her mom and her mom's boyfriend in the next room getting started
<Hektik_Sniper> ...
<CryptoKnight> and then they finish
<CryptoKnight> and then i'm still going
<Hektik_Sniper> SHUT IT YOUR MAKING BABY JESUS CRY!!!!!!!
<CryptoKnight> and this morning that fuck calls me a "minute man "
<Hektik_Sniper> ...
<CryptoKnight> heh
|
|
Quote: 76850; Rating: 180; [+|-]
|
<Kyle> blue cat5? heh
<xstraightedgex> MAGE
<xstraightedgex> ive got that
<xstraightedgex> and yellow
<waffle> all the cat5 I see in institutions is blue
<Ed> Yeah, I see that pretty often.
<Kyle> heh
<waffle> the high school I went to had it
<xstraightedgex> what about YELLOW
<Ed> Yellow too.
<Ed> I've seen yellow more often in crossovers, though.
<waffle> i was about to say that
<Graphic_V> My cat5 is blue.
<Graphic_V> This is the nerdiest conversation ever.
|
|
Quote: 82082; Rating: 207; [+|-]
|
james: wouldnt it be cool to live in a giant oval room
james: when ppl come over, u can be like, sit in the corner plz, and they'll get confused
|
|
Quote: 123586; Rating: 1082; [+|-]
|
[Yaksha] At least I'll have my laptop with me at work ;)
[Heri] WOOOHOOO!
[Heri] No clitoris, though
[Yaksha] Clitoris?
[Heri] yeah you know... the little bump in the middle of the keyboard ;)
[Heri] you kinda have to tickle it to make it work
[Yaksha] lol
[Yaksha] I think that'd look kind of weird at work ...
[Yaksha] The computer starts beeping louder and faster ...
[Heri] LMAO LMAO LMAO
[Heri] then shoots a CDROM out of the drive
[Yaksha] LOL
[Yaksha] The monitor panel slowly falls into the closed position
[Heri] LMAO!
[Heri] then it smokes a ciggy?
[Yaksha] Nahh, it formats a floppy
|
|
Quote: 47530; Rating: 222; |
IVIasterFunk: biacksfourteen
Biax14: iviasterflunk
IVIasterFunk: funk*
IVIasterFunk: bastard
Biax14: D'oh
Biax14: My mistake ;
IVIasterFunk: my ass
Biax14: is smeely
IVIasterFunk: the l is nowhere near the l key
IVIasterFunk: u*
IVIasterFunk: fuck
|
|
Quote: 101825; Rating: 194; [+|-]
|
<LeXX-> so like one time on 2600 irc, liquidpc shoved a usb cable up his mothers ass.
<Klassh> man, usb really IS universal
|
|
Quote: 1898; Rating: 267; |
<McMoo> it smells like sex upstairs
<`michael> haha
<Kenn> I just smelled like sex. I didn't want to shower.
<Kenn> But I did...
<Kenn> :
<kisama> sex and masturbation smell like the same thing, kenn.
<Kenn> kisama, that wasn't nice.
|
|
Quote: 11164; Rating: 211; [+|-]
|
<Helm-work> *sigh* ..i dont know what gets into me sometimes.. I get this "hey, my password says it expires today and i need to change it" "what do i change it to"? .... im like "how about tea-bagger"? "thats a good one" .. the accountant is like "yeah! easy to remember too"
|
|
Quote: 49687; Rating: 428; [+|-]
|
<MerliN`> want kinda cable u using?
<Cypress> a blue one
|
|
Quote: 84115; Rating: 205; [+|-]
|
<Zedium> Sim Life
<Zedium> Pretend to have a life
<The_Cat> dude, that's what IRC is for
|
|
Quote: 1065; Rating: 374; [+|-]
|
*** bongboy is now known as hurstdogs-mom
<hurstdog> don't make me kill you
<pb> hurstdog: you'd kill your own mother???
|
|
Quote: 29276; Rating: 890; [+|-]
|
<slappy> I leave punk on for my cats so they'll get more hardcore while I'm out
|
|
Quote: 2613; Rating: 360; [+|-]
|
<kyourek> KEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEE!!
<DrWoody> ... What?
<kyourek> Just practicing my karate.
|
|
Quote: 37131; Rating: 314; [+|-]
|
<Joe-> put
<Joe-> cant u do
<Joe-> if like
<Joe-> it
<Joe-> joins
<Joe-> any proxy
<Phunk> cant
<Phunk> you put
<Phunk> your shit
<Phunk> on
<Phunk> one line
<Phunk> ?
|
|
Quote: 50182; Rating: 625; [+|-]
|
<Justin|> tool: hey, you wanna hear a really horrible love story?
<Nemephosis> you broke your hand?
|
|
Quote: 237904; Rating: 164; [+|-]
|
(lara`) i wanna die
(lara`) just like jesus christ
(Ic3zero) whats stopping u
(Ic3zero) ppl cant carry u up the hill?
|
|
Quote: 682; Rating: 378; [+|-]
|
*** Gambit32 has changed the topic on channel #havok to: Masturbation: If
brute force doesnt work, use a bigger hammer.
<syx> eeeeek
|
|
Quote: 215638; Rating: 1449; [+|-]
|
<rosonowski> Hah! I love slashdot sometimes.
<rosonowski> You know the old manta "Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity?"
<rosonowski> Someone replied to it "If you know of a better way to make more virgins, I'd like to hear it."
|
|
Quote: 40118; Rating: 308; [+|-]
|
<ZephyrX> she's "barely legal"
<[SOHK]FATTY> i think i balled a 16 yr old this summer
<[SOHK]FATTY> she said that she was 18
<[SOHK]FATTY> i dont think so
<[SOHK]FATTY> she looked young in the morn
<ZephyrX> did she say "oops i'm late for class"
<[SOHK]FATTY> no
<[SOHK]FATTY> she said
<[SOHK]FATTY> can u drive me to school
<ZephyrX> lol
<[SOHK]FATTY> hehe
<[SOHK]FATTY> and when i did
<[SOHK]FATTY> it said Jr.. on the school
|
|
Quote: 56333; Rating: 264; [+|-]
|
<gwend> my 6 key doesnt work half the time ><
<Kiri> my CTRL key types a ` when i press it
<Kiri> lol
<gwend> lol
<Kiri> and my numpad opens internet explorer
<Kiri> or my computer
<Kiri> depends on which number lol
*** Kiri has quit IRC (Read error: 54 (Connection reset by peer))
<EvilCouch> guess she pushed the wrong number
|
|
Quote: 12104; Rating: 127; [+|-]
|
<icas0r> somsone do a stats on decoded
<icas0r> i think he a fed =[
<rightie> nah feds only have Netzero for their isp
<rightie> they cut back on funding
|
|
Quote: 41703; Rating: 264; [+|-]
|
<AnimeFreak> omg i just bought more ram today
<egg> how many sheep do you have now?
|
|
Quote: 926695; Rating: 1198; [+|-]
|
Aquillar> hey, you guys ever play kmem russian roulette?
Agnostos> I don't believe I have. care to explain the details?
Aquillar> dd if=/dev/urandom of=/dev/kmem bs=1 count=1 seek=$RANDOM
Aquillar> keep executing until system crashes
Aquillar> person that crashes system has to buy beer
Agnostos> lol
Agnostos> I wonder if I can sneak that into a server startup script here.
|
|
Quote: 34113; Rating: 324; [+|-]
|
<DKuntz> is it bad for me to have a pet peeve about people usin "r" instead of "are" and "u" instead of "you" (and so on)
<Lath> Er, no
<DKuntz> I really hate when people do "how r u 2day?"
<IJ> I've heard of data compression, but this is ridiculous.
|
|
Quote: 14309; Rating: 341; [+|-]
|
Dainichi> I'm going to start a band called Hand Solo.
Dainichi> Our first song will be a heavy metal cover of "I Touch Myself"
|
|
Quote: 120433; Rating: 274; [+|-]
|
<Nermaldrunk> alcohol is so comforting
<Austin> Yeah, vomit's just like a warm blanket, only in liquid form.
|
|
Quote: 772119; Rating: 309; [+|-]
|
<d-snp> Warning, premature end of input, use <Shift> + <Enter> to avoid this message.
<d-snp> Maple tells me the same thing all the girls do :(
|
|
Quote: 155226; Rating: 334; |
<Scarlet[away]> :/
<Scarlet[away]> im cold :(
<Scarlet[away]> my teeth are chattering lol
<SEXMACHINE> remind me not to ask for a blow job on a cold night
<Scarlet[away]> ROFL
|
|
Quote: 102752; Rating: 46; [+|-]
|
<mufffin> i could live there
<mufffin> except its an apartment
<Schlurbna> That's not to say I wouldn't live there but I expect more from
penthouse apartments.
<hoek_> Schlurbna - you expect penthouse models in there?
|
|
Quote: 923; Rating: 173; [+|-]
|
<reptile-> black is pry my favorite color for clothing. =/
<MadHatter> are you still fat
|
|
Quote: 329542; Rating: 1936; [+|-]
|
<`Neonjoe`> http://www.weatherunderground.com/
<`Neonjoe`> hardcore
<vigz0r> its too hard to be normal weather
<vigz0r> they had to go UNDERGROUND
<cooter> dude they tell u the independant weather, not the fuckin main stream sellout bullshit weather
|
|
Quote: 1910; Rating: 114; |
(phosphor) run nekid through new york screaming "my clothes were on flight 11"
|
|
Quote: 76194; Rating: 105; [+|-]
|
<|ReBeL|> notice how fake rip off sellers always have a nic that has something to do with what they are trying to "sell"?
* Resident0 is now known as HotBooty
<HotBooty> i dont know what you mean...
|
|
Quote: 2993; Rating: 79; [+|-]
|
<michael-> Of the city's 11,500 firefighters, 2.7 percent are black and 3.2 percent Hispanic
<michael-> reeediculous
<maff> that's because their darker skin color attracts the heat
|
|
Quote: 41253; Rating: 285; [+|-]
|
<Jessica6> I may not be good at languages but I'm a lot better at maths than you two! :P
<Jessica6> Er....I mean 'you three'
|
|
Quote: 602; Rating: 82; [+|-]
|
*** banned[sleep] was kicked by Syber (Lotto Mockery. Shut the fuck up You fucking soggy assed cock sucking mother fucking faggot. You're not even impressing your own mother with cunt-flapped shennanigans like that. No mockery, no cockery, no knocking me. BANNED! 15 minutes.)
|
|
Quote: 16133; Rating: 289; [+|-]
|
<MassMedia> It's disturbing how many people in here know what the word bukkake means...
|
|
Quote: 9547; Rating: 599; [+|-]
|
<Tharivol> once I had to write something on the computer on paper..
<Tharivol> i hit ctrl-c then...
<Tharivol> my brain sorta got jammed in neutral
|
|
Quote: 12082; Rating: 128; [+|-]
|
<punkgurl> I usta be scared of the dick, now I grab a hold of it and handle it like a real bitch
|
|
Quote: 330072; Rating: 379; [+|-]
|
<@boink> I wonder when the day will come that telemarketers offer to Enlarge my Penis?
|
|