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Quote: 106857; Rating: 172; [+|-]
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<Flamecuber> lava-lord, have you ever swallowed a goat whole?
<lava-lord> no but my friend has eaten fat bastard.
<Flamecuber> whole or by limb?
<lava-lord> whole.
<Flamecuber> thats going to replace the clown in my nightmares |
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Quote: 8252; Rating: 665; [+|-]
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<HomerHendelBergenHeinzel> ur so mean :L
<q> is that the frowning face of a stroke victim? |
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Quote: 961513; Rating: 145; [+|-]
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<xxx> There's apparently some Mexican restaurant somewhere in Europe that has the slogan, "Mexican food so authentic Donald Trump built 4 walls around it." |
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Quote: 774029; Rating: 119; [+|-]
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<THC|Rawk> Okay, so here's the plan...
<THC|Rawk> At the premiere of the next Harry Potter movie, me wearing a black cloak and a Darth Vader helmet
<THC|Rawk> Walking up to some fucktard dressed up as Harry Potter himself, going "Dumbledore lied, Harry. I am your father!"
<THC|Rawk> Then ditch the helmet, pull up the hood on the cloak, and try and pass myself of as a dementor.
<THC|Rawk> Some fucker is gonna be sooooo confused for the rest of the evening! |
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Quote: 285493; Rating: 1138; [+|-]
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<Kyr> When i was in psychiatry it was so funny when the psychologist tried to make me do this Rorschach test.u00a0 I said "that's a Rorschach test innit?" and he was like "yeah but you're not supposed to know that.u00a0 Now the test 'll be useless"
<Kyr> So I said the drawings looked like dead people and vaginas to console the guy. |
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Quote: 805776; Rating: 248; [+|-]
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<Emika> Somedays, I wish I could ctl+z everything
<Emika> and alt+F4 parts of my life |
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Quote: 962705; Rating: 464; [+|-]
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*** Gad is now known as REGISTER.
*** REGISTER is now known as IDENTIFY.
*** IDENTIFY is now known as Gad.
<petn-randall> Gad: /msg nickserv help
<Dark-Jedi> Just wait, his nick will change to "HELP" any moment now.
*** Gad is now known as HELP. |
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Quote: 33357; Rating: 152; [+|-]
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< Begbie> I wonder if I pester the Real Doll company long enough, if they'll produce a midget Real Doll? |
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Quote: 29945; Rating: 539; [+|-]
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<dodee> you want hard, ask glc to send you some of his grannies in nipple clamps shitting on japanese girls that are eating vomit while haveing 50 guys nut on them
<CreePy> dodee: I have that one, it sucked.u00a0 The one with vultures eating the girl's liver while a leopard raped her was cool tho.
<dodee> jesus christ |
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Quote: 42095; Rating: 86; [+|-]
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<Draco889> Chickengod got caught masturbating in school
<Cunnilingus> in his class ?
<Draco889> not sure
<Cunnilingus> bah
<Zim[School]> :)
<Draco889> its not easy i can tell you that
<Draco889> wait
<Draco889> nm
<Cunnilingus> maybe he just masturbated in the toilets
<Draco889> i wonder how he fit bolth feet in |
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Quote: 240141; Rating: 269; [+|-]
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<Sphexi_LOTU> Volvo has a new concept car out, designed by women for women.
<Sphexi_LOTU> It has verticle wing-type doors so women won't get their dresses torn when getting out, lots of luggage space for shopping bags, removable seat covers and carpeting so you can remodel the car at will, and extra large visor mirrors for applying makeup.
<Sphexi_LOTU> it's going to be extra reliable and maintenance free, so women won't have to worry about remembering to get the oil changed or the engine tuned up.
<CaesarMaximus> Volvo swedish quality =)
<Tempest_MD> Does it come with a driver?
<Tempest_MD> (women don't know how to drive) |
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Quote: 165082; Rating: 1120; [+|-]
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<Sai> Sometimes I threaten to black male my sister |
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Quote: 106573; Rating: 163; [+|-]
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#Jesus unable to join channel (invite only) |
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Quote: 8854; Rating: 17; [+|-]
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<Shrap> What is pubes? |
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Quote: 106517; Rating: 552; [+|-]
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<@MephistoSan> I'm having deja vu
<@MephistoSan> they must have added something new to the matrix
<@MephistoSan> :/
<+DHX|cleaningroom> omg they cut the hardline
<+DHX|cleaningroom> GET OUT NOW
<@MephistoSan> GET ME AN EXIT
<+DHX|cleaningroom> AFFIRMATIVE
MephistoSan has left IRC (Quit: Local kill by DHX|cleaningroom (exit)) |
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Quote: 351029; Rating: 1418; [+|-]
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<Raiks> Has anyone got their 'Violence Against Women: Australia Says No' booklets yet?
<Sweep> i have raiks
<Natus> i have too
<Raiks> My girlfriend opened it and got a paper cut from it, and then belted me for laughing at her |
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Quote: 859848; Rating: 3594; [+|-]
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<Myrf> I was giving some guy a job interview today, and it turned out he didn't know who the Beatles were.
<Myrf> So, of course, I had to turn him down :P
<bozz> wtf, a bunch of people don't know who the beatles are
<bozz> whyd you have to turn him down just because of that
<Myrf> Dude, I work at a RECORD STORE. |
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Quote: 190581; Rating: 241; [+|-]
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audiobob: dude
audiobob: 4 real
audiobob: shut up
audiobob: noone wants to look or talk about your cock
titikaka: audiobob my apache logs say otherwise |
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Quote: 16818; Rating: 86; [+|-]
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<Nago> hmm... my coke tastes a bit like flesh... |
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Quote: 21999; Rating: 1007; [+|-]
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(Ebony) There is a cat sitting on my foot.
(IDK) You kids and your jive talk. |
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Quote: 6970; Rating: 328; [+|-]
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<RunMe> I saw people fucking in the NRV parking lot once back in high school
<RunMe> it was pretty fucking disgusting
<glasnost> thats an appropriate type of disgusting. |
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Quote: 5638; Rating: 376; [+|-]
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<Krispy> you could double specialize
<Krispy> GYN/PROCTOLOGY
<Krispy> THEN YOU COULD DO THE SHOCKER
<Krispy> AND IT WOULD BE ALL LEGAL |
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Quote: 80522; Rating: 1358; [+|-]
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<an_ass733> My wrist hurts because I played Beatmania too much yesterday.
<an_ass733> You're supposed to laugh now, then I say "What's so funny?" and then I realize that what I said sounded like masturbation, and then I say "I MEANT IIDX!! I SWEAR!!!", then someone posts it onto bash.org and the score goes up to 200.
<Angelic_erection> well, let's start over
<an_ass733> My wrist hurts because I played Beatmania too much yesterday.
<+odaen> an_ass are you sure it was beatmania?
<an_ass733> Huh?
<an_ass733> Oh shit.
<Angelic_erection> lol
<JAT|DWIwithCar> Haha your wrist hurts
<an_ass733> I MEANT IIDX!! I SWEAR!! |
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Quote: 139560; Rating: 337; [+|-]
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<MeLearnin> Why does _Bunny always tell people he is going to bed?
* MeLearnin brb taking a shit.... |
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Quote: 920525; Rating: 1587; [+|-]
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<jaffa> think of the children!
<bobf> oh gimme a break, I've spent *hours* today thinking of the children, my wrist is too sore to do it any longer |
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Quote: 670120; Rating: 545; [+|-]
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atria ventric: so my life is complete
Crikers042: whys that?
atria ventric: because today
atria ventric: i heard two gay guys shopping for a vaccuum
atria ventric: 'but i bet this one sucks better'
atria ventric: 'but this one will go for longer'
atria ventric: 'go longer? what for? you get dirty you take it out you turn it on and you're done'
atria ventric: 'i mean its fun while it lasts sure but its nothing serious' |
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Quote: 23322; Rating: 143; [+|-]
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<b22022> everyone that goes to public pools pees in them, its an animal instinct to leave your scent. |
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Quote: 147512; Rating: 331; [+|-]
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<Wario> can't sleep.u00a0 clowns will eat me
<Kyle> Instead of sleeping..
<Kyle> Scan your boobies. :D
<Trunks> Yeah.
<Trunks> That works.
<Trunks> That'd be funny if her parents walked in.
<Trunks> Tits on the scanner.
<Kyle> "Hmm. This is awkward." |
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Quote: 355; Rating: 1103; [+|-]
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<Rapture> I wasn't naked! I had a sock on! |
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Quote: 580702; Rating: 2140; [+|-]
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<Indiana> What's a cuntwaffle?
<Indiana> Ah, never mind, I'll ask my mom when she comes on. She knows everything about cooking and food. |
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Quote: 55912; Rating: 121; [+|-]
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<NoRemorse> its a film about a killer who kills all the kids at the local high school who are vrgins
<CRC> US based I guess? |
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Quote: 446931; Rating: 2677; [+|-]
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<tHiSiSbOb> I just lost a friend... He got into a car accident... Young people can die too. I just played starcraft with him the other day....
<black_mage_s> Well, there is always the single player campaign. |
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Quote: 76945; Rating: 871; [+|-]
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March 4 2003 02:15AM:
<Miro-kun> HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
<Miro-kun> damn lag. |
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Quote: 5712; Rating: 94; [+|-]
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<+Krispy> i talk about poo a lot
<+gwenhyvar> Krispy: I had to poo really bad when the AT&T guy was installing our phone.. and I couldn't untill he was gone
<+Straylight> why not? installing a phone in the bathroom? |
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Quote: 715122; Rating: 628; [+|-]
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hjdjoo: well, you know what they say
hjdjoo: "the second-best way to get into a girl's pants is to play the guitar"
hjdjoo: "the absolute best way is chloroform"
hjdjoo: -plutarch
hjdjoo: or was that plato?
hjdjoo: it was one of the great philosophers i think. |
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Quote: 102187; Rating: 256; [+|-]
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<H3g3m0n> Wow according to the starwars website Star Wars Episode III is going to be called "In production" |
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Quote: 39394; Rating: 194; [+|-]
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<FLB> cardian: Since you have a civic, if I win the lottery one day...
<FLB> I'm gonna buy both of your neighbours new cars to park beside your civic |
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Quote: 659223; Rating: 250; [+|-]
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[GOD]Smithereens> Condoms are VERY good if you don't have any water balloons near you
[GOD]Smithereens> Don't EVER try the other way around though.
Xyranius> It's not fun>_< |
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Quote: 81246; Rating: 2; [+|-]
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<[BCorp]Atropos> and if you don't give me 12 dollars i'm going to plunge them into the center of the earth
<[BCorp]Atropos> with those dinosaurs and cave men and shit that got trapped down there
<[BCorp]Atropos> and then they will be severely discomforted
<[BCorp]Atropos> and who will be laughing then?
<[BCorp]Atropos> not you, that's who!
<[BCorp]Atropos> hahahahahahahaaahhahahaha
<[BCorp]Sleight> oh and Washington, cut down on the damn coffee stands
<[BCorp]Atropos> oh, for that remark i'm plunging them anyway
<[BCorp]Sleight> heh I don't care about my dad's side, have your way
<[BCorp]Atropos> i'll be back in a second, gotta pull the "plunge" lever
<[BCorp]Sleight> tell them goodbye for me
<[BCorp]Atropos> no
<[BCorp]Atropos> i'll tell them you said they were fat
<[BCorp]Sleight> cruel
<[BCorp]Atropos> mwamwamwamwamwa
<[BCorp]Sleight> while you are at it, plunge the whole town of Rochester
<[BCorp]Sleight> get rid of those damn neighbors who keep saying pop
<[BCorp]Atropos> alright... but just this once
<[BCorp]Atropos> i'm not a plunging service you know |
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Quote: 1555; Rating: 372; [+|-]
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<ckx> i'm not gay
<ckx> i just like to see people fuck
<ckx> even if they're guys |
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Quote: 31698; Rating: 133; [+|-]
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Feyd-Rautha: So when are you getting cable anyways?
Hsu: soon
Feyd-Rautha: I can taste the broadband
Hsu: taste like victory
Feyd-Rautha: But a word of advice: don't put your lips on a live cable wire. |
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Quote: 2061; Rating: 762; [+|-]
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<|shark|> if a guy took a home pregnancy test
<|shark|> and it turned out positive
<|shark|> what does that mean?
<Merl> shark.. go see a doctor man ;-) |
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Quote: 49529; Rating: 395; [+|-]
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<UltimateMetroid> who here plays metroid?
<Daishi> I only play it cause you gotta know samus is hot under that suit
<UltimateMetroid> fag
<Daishi> dumbass |
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Quote: 8984; Rating: 317; [+|-]
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<than> the makers of m&ms used to claim they didn't melt in your hands
<than> which was clearly bollocks
<than> they also melted when I clenched them betwixt my buttocks |
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Quote: 3650; Rating: 293; [+|-]
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(@watchy): hey io
(@watchy): i am gonna put up a ebay auction
(@watchy): i'm gonna auction my sperm
(@watchy): haha
*** Quits: watchy (Excess Flood)
(@[IO]): or not |
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Quote: 655652; Rating: 844; [+|-]
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Sleepaholic88: >>>
Sleepaholic88: Err. I tried to capitalize a period so it would be bigger. |
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Quote: 354490; Rating: 571; [+|-]
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<mojo>parents are weird
<mojo>So there I am playing my drums just now
<mojo>first im "skating on thin ice"
<mojo>and I keep going
<mojo>now aparently im "in hot water"
<mojo>go figure |
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Quote: 839758; Rating: 645; [+|-]
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<gaarie> who the fuck names a lake winnipesaukee
<DX|laptop> indians
<ch> yep
<gaarie> truth
<DX|laptop> and not the tech support kind
<ch> the casino kind |
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Quote: 7463; Rating: 64; [+|-]
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<tris> why did someone stick an altoid in your cd player?
<furyoujin> tris, we were having phun and he got a lil overexcited |
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Quote: 12768; Rating: 2018; [+|-]
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<eltawater> anyone know the name of a (mathematical) function which calculates how many times a number M fits into a number N?
<eltawater> i.e. 20,4 = 5
<eltawater> ?
<Biddle> Division?
<AlleyCat> divisor
<eltawater> er
<eltawater> *smacks head into desk* |
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