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Quote: 137553; Rating: 311; [+|-]
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<Atob> The internet's like the Bible but with pictures.
<Atob> And those pictures are of naked ladies.
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Quote: 16406; Rating: 623; [+|-]
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<Anecdotist> I never watched the Power Rangers. So I guess I just figured that they were like forest rangers, but more powerful. Maybe even as powerful as me. I know that I am pretty powerful when it comes to forest stuff, because Smokey the Bear is all, "Only you can prevent forest fires." If I'm the only one, I must
be pretty powerful.
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Quote: 15460; Rating: 189; [+|-]
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<ll|||ll||> I meant to say to ant.. "Use themeat from the fridge so we don't have to defrost stuff for dinner".. but I said.. [16:49.43] <ll|||ll||> "Use the meat from the fridge so we don't have to download stuff for dinner"
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Quote: 296129; Rating: 1259; [+|-]
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<Hagane> I can squeeze through 5 foot gaps in Crimson Skies.
<Michael> Trouble is you can't do that in real life...
<Hagane> Yeah, but it isn't that hard in the game... So it can't be that hard in real life...
<Michael> It's exactly that type of mentality that drives this country forward.
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Quote: 8116; Rating: 356; [+|-]
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<egypt> bejeweled is hypnotic.
<zebra> omg bejeweled is like crack.
<egypt> i'm convinced this is an attempt at world domination.
<egypt> i can't stop playing this.
<egypt> MUST.. GET... JEWELS... INTO LINES OF THREEEEEEE.
<egypt> NO MOVES LEFT? BASTARDS!
<Allan> What's bejeweled?
<egypt> its like, tetris for the mentally challenged.
<zebra> omg I HATE that noise it makes when you lose.
<egypt> omg i KNOW
<egypt> it makes me feel like such a FAILURE
<zebra> it makes the baby jesus cry.
<egypt> "you have no friends. please find a disease and crawl into bed with it, thanks."
<zebra> That *GAME* makes me feel like a failure.
* zebra falls over laughing
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Quote: 76462; Rating: 444; [+|-]
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<jwbozzy> drwiii: are you going to Bohagers for Mardi Gras?
<drwiii> no.
<jwbozzy> me either
<drwiii> excellent.
<jwbozzy> they are, however, filming girls gone wild there
<drwiii> no is swahili for yes.
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Quote: 36732; Rating: 178; [+|-]
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<Blixt> a buddhists last life before nirvana is spent as a lesbian pornstar most of the time
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Quote: 6800; Rating: 270; [+|-]
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<fuckin`eh> If you think your cool CLICK HERE!
<JtHM> fuckin`eh: nothing happened when I clicked :(
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Quote: 2217; Rating: 249; [+|-]
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<kisama> my playlist is full of essential mixes
<var> essential to what? your pursuit of perfected queendom?
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Quote: 937563; Rating: 1074; [+|-]
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<Kattar> jesus christ my dish washer sounds like it's going to explode
<Kattar> I have never heard a dish washer make sounds like this before
<Arkantos> Better take her to a hospital
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Quote: 69965; Rating: 1281; [+|-]
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<Spike> Spam email title: "Did you get your dsjtlkasjt today?"
<Spike> Why no, no I did not.
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Quote: 18449; Rating: 241; [+|-]
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<Blue> drunk girls are easier than programming
<JC|WooWoo> blue just can't program
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Quote: 48312; Rating: 193; [+|-]
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<dormando> I power my car on harvested angst
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Quote: 48650; Rating: 277; [+|-]
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<+ariana_> good perl code is indistinguishable from line noise
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Quote: 929905; Rating: 2344; [+|-]
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<MindSpark> So the officer stops me and asks for my license and registration
<MindSpark> After handing them to him , he asks who the car belongs to
<MindSpark> I tell him it's my wifes
<MindSpark> He asks if I have an authorization, because you have to have some proof that you're allowed to ride a car that's not yours
<MindSpark> I go "Sir, I ride the OWNER of this car personally with no authorization, do you really expect me to have an authorization to ride her car ?"
<MindSpark> Officer hands me back the papers in silence and salutes me
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Quote: 480765; Rating: 624; [+|-]
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<savage> Comic convention all day tomorrow, then off to a role playing (paper & pencil) convention for the remainder of the weekend :-)
<marv> role-playing a pencil sounds like it could get boring after a few days
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Quote: 33838; Rating: 265; [+|-]
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<@Jugernaut> bah this shirt is full of holes
<@temptah> eat less corn
<@temptah> and more fiber
<@temptah> oh
<@temptah> I thought you said "shit"
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Quote: 8863; Rating: 129; [+|-]
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<Bikky> I've been staring at fserves so long I don't know whether I need a shit or a haircut
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Quote: 53560; Rating: 531; [+|-]
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<Ophelia>: I had college once, but I drank a lot of fluids and got a lot of rest and eventually it was cured.
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Quote: 7331; Rating: 271; [+|-]
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*** Double0 has quit IRC (Penguins are Fat, Slow, and Dumb,... Windows are Rigid, Fragile, and Breakable .)
<Pingu> Hey!
<Pingu> Im a penguin!
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Quote: 13607; Rating: 931; [+|-]
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<NintendoGuru> Yoda of Borg am I! Assimilated shall you be! Futile resistance is, hmm?
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Quote: 99713; Rating: 763; [+|-]
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<Ronald_MacK> I need more RAM.
<Ronald_MacK> Wait, no.
<Ronald_MacK> I need a girlfriend, so I won't be on the computer so much, and thereby it won't need more RAM.
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Quote: 646624; Rating: 408; [+|-]
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t903576: When I got arrested my dad told me "Youre lucky there arent any "doctors" around here that will perform 72nd trimester abortions"!
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Quote: 73092; Rating: 201; [+|-]
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(DreamThtr): im not american
(DreamThtr): but i went to the usher concert
(CrazyCoot): by american do you mean straight
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Quote: 79621; Rating: 564; [+|-]
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<tito> why can't they make longer-lasting laptop batteries? ;[
<jestuh> why can't they make longer-lasting titos?
<tito> whats that supposed to mean
<jestuh> you know
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Quote: 56048; Rating: 375; [+|-]
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<Affe> god damn black socks
<Affe> i need to start pairing them together
<Affe> i pulled some out figuring 'oh if i pull out a few, i'll eventually end up with a pair'
<Affe> i had 8 different kinds of socks in my hand
<Ouroboros> Wow, Affe.
<Ouroboros> Your life must be incredibly boring if you thought that was interesting enough to tell us.
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Quote: 123724; Rating: 407; [+|-]
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[04:32] (%craigr000) WHAT THE FUCK
<%craigr000> FOR ONCE I'M HAVING AN EROTIC DREAM
<%craigr000> AND I AWAKEN TO MY FUCKIN MOM
<%craigr000> HITTING ME AND TELLING ME I HAVE TO SCRUB THE WALLS
<%craigr000> I MEAN IT'S OBVIOUS THE ONLY PLACE I'M GONNA GET ANY ACTION IN A LONG ASS TIME IS IN THE REALM OF SLEEP. THANKS MOM. THANKS A LOT.
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Quote: 6714; Rating: 585; [+|-]
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<_git_> hey folks, what does @ mean in front of someones nick?
<thorn``> The @ symbol identify's the channel operators.. Chops have extra commands for control of the room
<_git_> does it mean that persons is a sad wanker who spends his life on irc, has no real friends, and prefers to chat on here than in a pub?
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Quote: 79890; Rating: 183; [+|-]
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Matreya: I only had one of these coke glasses... *sniff*
Matreya: I have two other ones, but they're not as cool
gelfie has two coke glasses, though technically they're my brothers
spoob: your brothers are coke glasses?
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Quote: 13426; Rating: 725; [+|-]
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<Glasses> Quebec is on fire?
<Glasses> I'm sure the rest of Cananda won't be too upset...
<Paul> Upset? THey started it.
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Quote: 6716; Rating: 342; [+|-]
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*** Foxers has quit IRC (If idiots could fly,Dalnet would be an airport.)
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Quote: 100837; Rating: 128; [+|-]
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<cold_russian> i think... i just... blew up... the heater.
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Quote: 1380; Rating: 507; [+|-]
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[orion] man i had a fucked up dream last night
[orion] i think my maid was fondeling me
[orion] i was being spooned by this chick when she started to finger my asshole, and i was like "wtf is this shit, get that outta me, but i couldn't move"
[orion] so then i finally got all grossed out and woke up
[orion] and my asshole felt funny.
(|Chris) you probably fingered your own ass in your sleep
[orion] nah mang, i smelled my fingahs
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Quote: 48885; Rating: 108; [+|-]
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(WHW-Rob): i need to make a shirt.... "You're so much sexier when you just SHUT UP!"
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Quote: 100781; Rating: 96; [+|-]
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<Alter_Legiones> don't ya just hate it, when you try to find a rom. then you click on a link that you think takes you to a rom site, but is loaded with porn ads, and when the thing opens, the first thing you hear is "I WANT TO SUCK YOUR LONG COCK!* while your mom is in the room >_<
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Quote: 17281; Rating: 129; [+|-]
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<Spud> When I can't play my games I like to smash things
<Spud> Or fap
<Tetrad> same thing basically
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Quote: 6889; Rating: 110; [+|-]
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<_Tenchi_> jwzrd-: are you a pole smoker too ?
<jwzrd-> _Tenchi_: why, you want your pole smoked ?
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Quote: 434554; Rating: 667; [+|-]
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<[Cable]Tech> has anyone managed to join Harry.Potter.And.The.Prisoner.Of.Azkaban.2004.TC.XviD.AC3 cd1 and cd2 together , if so using what avi joiner?
<Marsupial> I joined Spiderman cd1 and Friends episode 32 together.
<Marsupial> using Microsoft Outlook Express.
<Marsupial> Chandler got bit by a radioactive spider and shot a web at Phoebe, and then it emailed me.
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Quote: 38872; Rating: 262; [+|-]
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* Andrew has quit IRC (Quit: In the year of our Lord 1314, patriots of Scotland, starving and outnumbered, charged the fields at Bannockburn. They fought like warrior poets. They fought like Scotsmen. And won their freedom.)
<Mank> Andrew's quit makes me want to duct tape him to a tree and rip his eyes out.
<Coco13> But then he wouldn't have his FREEDOM
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Quote: 88666; Rating: 791; [+|-]
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<Draffa> it's sad. When I was 14/15/16, the hottest women were 25. Now that i'm 25, the hottest girls are 14/15/16 :(
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Quote: 683616; Rating: 28; [+|-]
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< soultan> how come when i view the contents of a binary i don't see no 0s and 1s?
< soultan> they don't exist after all?
< soultan> we've been fooled
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Quote: 45112; Rating: 362; [+|-]
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<`KArmA> and now, an Ode to Redhat 8, in free verse
<`KArmA> I heard that you were cool
<`KArmA> I read the reviews which said you were
<`KArmA> I downloaded your isos and burned you to CD
<`KArmA> The install was beautiful
<`KArmA> You loaded just fine
<`KArmA> But your network configuration sucked and you lied to me about my soundcard
<`KArmA> Then you wouldn't update your software like you said you would
<`KArmA> you lied repeatedly to me about my kerberos 5 libraries
<`KArmA> the sound still won't work despite your assurances
<`KArmA> and I'm left rage hating you, your company, the development community that spawned you and Linus Torvalds himself
<`KArmA> Fuck you Red Hat 8, if you are the example of what Linux Desktops are supposed to bbe
<`KArmA> then I will continue to use OpenBSD
<`KArmA> . . .
<`KArmA> thank you
* JaG cheers
<phr0work> hehe
<phr0work> that was pretty nice karma
<DesScorp> ha ha ha ha
<`KArmA> see? poetry does not suck r0b
<`KArmA> it just has to hit you in the right spot
<phr0work> hehe
<`KArmA> and if anyone posts that to bash.org I'm going to jam my Redhat 8 install CDs up your ass sideways
<DesScorp> you could've just done a Haiku......"Red Hat sucks my cock......OpenBSD rolls over the penguin......As I shave Linus Torvald's Mother's back"
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Quote: 844354; Rating: 318; [+|-]
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<MrNonchalant> she dumped me in the worst way possible
<MrNonchalant> Facebook defriend and status change
<MrNonchalant> one day you're in love with a girl who loves you, you have a romantic dinner, and you have a really nice moment together
<MrNonchalant> two days later you type her name in Facebook search and it doesn't autocomplete
<MrNonchalant> it doesn't autocomplete!
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Quote: 10465; Rating: 334; [+|-]
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<Squinky> Are all Vietnamese people named Nguyen or something?
<Sopabuena> Yes
<Squinky> I know about 8 with that last name, but none with a different one
<Sopabuena> If you go to Vietnam and shout "NGUYEN" everyone will look at you
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Quote: 37584; Rating: 806; [+|-]
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<marek> rape is such a bad term, lets call it surprise sex!
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Quote: 3460; Rating: 478; [+|-]
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<agrath> I banned him cause he pointed out i was a virgin
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Quote: 429; Rating: 704; [+|-]
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<thinkr> will the dvd have a special mode to remove jar jar?
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Quote: 348697; Rating: 1985; [+|-]
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CascadeOrca: HAPPY FATHERS DAY!
Lerxs: indeed
CascadeOrca: I don't have a real father
CascadeOrca: so you're all my dad today
CascadeOrca: Congratulations.
Sixteen Bit Hero has left the room.
CascadeOrca: damnit, just like my real father
clash103 has left the room.
CascadeOrca: DADDIES! NOOOES!
Wiggidiba has left the room.
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Quote: 105177; Rating: 107; [+|-]
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<phreakinb> 1876: At the Centennial Exposition in Philadelphia, America's first 100-year birthday bash, fair goers visit the Turkish Hashish Exposition and toke up in order to enhance their fair experience.
<`WarpKat> it's nice to know that my parents weren't the only stoners from the past
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Quote: 16541; Rating: 253; [+|-]
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** Moses is now known as Cain....
<Cain> oh no I killed my bro ....
<KeeperS> ....
<KeeperS> what a stirring rendition of the bible ....
* KeeperS is moved to tears
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