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Quote: 230727; Rating: 566; |
[@cwatford] i really do need to write my childrens books
[@cwatford] i plan on scaring children shitless about common programming errors
[@Entrope] "jane thought overrunning buffers was great fun until the exploit monster bit off her head!"
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Quote: 16985; Rating: 1122; |
<Cross> I was at the kareoke bar last night
<Cross> and i was talking to this hot chick for like 20 minutes
<Cross> and this other girl walked over right in the middle of
my conversation
<Cross> and said "Are you talking to my sister? Cause she's
deaf"
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Quote: 8453; Rating: 9; |
<Dac> ok, what does 'LUG' on a rental property listing mean?
<tm> Lots of Ugly Guys
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Quote: 8367; Rating: 103; [+|-]
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<AsylumXKP> WTF?
<AsylumXKP> http://www.goats.cx is no longer the most mentioned URL in this channel
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Quote: 22003; Rating: 115; [+|-]
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* LuftHans repeats himself, but it's all verizon's fault :)
(FuckVrzn) Anyway, llama, as I was about to say before Verizon fucked me without so much as the hint of a kiss, . . .
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Quote: 138593; Rating: 295; [+|-]
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Blast Enforcer: oh, and just so you know, I've never stuck anything up my ass, and nor have I thought about it.
OAGreatLordAxion: ummm
OAGreatLordAxion: i didnt wonder
Blast Enforcer: oh
Blast Enforcer: ok
OAGreatLordAxion: right up until you said that.
OAGreatLordAxion: now im concerned.
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Quote: 52462; Rating: 471; [+|-]
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<Cloe> be quiet or i'll beat you like a rented mule
<Crowley> you abuse your rented pack animals?
<Cloe> yes, i do
<Cloe> now carry my stuff up the trail
<Crowley> suck my huge donkey dick
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Quote: 1320; Rating: 293; [+|-]
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(pervert) roy: get off your "would be heterosexual if i had enough options to have a preference" ass and go get some :P
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Quote: 333309; Rating: 1077; [+|-]
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<Mike>You don't even know what a foo is
<Chris> of course i do... It's the guy you pity.
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Quote: 397568; Rating: 232; [+|-]
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* Devil steals The_Pope's hat
<The_Pope> give it back bitch.
<Devil> wheee
<The_Pope> Wanna go?
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Quote: 6703; Rating: 619; [+|-]
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<Dynamo> [Destiny's Child - Say My Name.mp3]-[4.34mb/4m 30s]
<Dynamo> [Pet Music - 04 - Warm Hugs.mp3]-[5.23mb/5m 26s]
<Dynamo> No one saw Destiny's Child, or Pet Music, aight?
<Dynamo> [Destiny's Child - Independent Woman Part 1.mp3]-[3.6mb/3m 44s]
<Dynamo> [Pet Music - 08 - Chasing Clouds.mp3]-[4.4mb/4m 35s]
<Dynamo> This PC must hate me.
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Quote: 40218; Rating: 174; |
<pix[word]> anyone know how to search for 'c++' on google? + is an operator, and doesn't search for that
<cam[home]> search for "c++"
<pix[word]> i did
<pix[word]> does a search for "c "
<cam[home]> not when I did it
<cam[home]> http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&q=%22c%2B%2B%22
<pix[word]> damn
<pix[word]> i did 'c++'
<pix[word]> not "c++"
<pix[word]> yarrr
<cam[home]> I'm e-mailing your boss telling him you can't even use a search engine, so he needs to hire me
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Quote: 99966; Rating: 341; |
Murcho: and for the first time in my life i spent a considerable amount of time trying to put my dick into what i thought was the 'vagina'
DrZaius: LOL
Murcho: the plumbing on these french girls is different man im telling you
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Quote: 94038; Rating: 299; [+|-]
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<Babyxic> have fun in ur wrestling outfit
<KestrelM1> its not wrestling!
<KestrelM1> its rowing!
<KestrelM1> they're rowing troughs!
<KestrelM1> and i dont grope other males
<KestrelM1> just... long poles...
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Quote: 4255; Rating: 151; [+|-]
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<brock101> whats speeds should i get over a lan, with a 10/100 connection ?
<@WheelOr> 10 to 100 Mbits/sec.
<brock101> -_-
<brock101> thanks, i knew that
<brock101> i walked into that one didn`t i
<@WheelOr> I suppose so.
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Quote: 896406; Rating: 1355; [+|-]
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Marshall: A friend of mine knows a band from his hometown who played on one of the ferries that go between Finland and Sweden. When they were about to board in Stockholm, the Swedish equivalent of the DEA shows up with dogs and everything, so the guys in the band freak out 'cause they've (obviously) got their dope
with them. After a few minutes of "fuck maaaan, what're we gonna do maaaaan!?", one of them goes to a Wal-Mart type store and buys a little remote-controlled helicopter. They proceed to plant the stash on it, leave it on the quay, board the boat and then use the remote to fly the drugs onto the ship
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Quote: 83489; Rating: 2639; |
<Luigi30> someone ping flood 127.0.0.1
<Luigi30> he keeps trying to hack me
<Luigi30> nm
<Floach> This, folks, is why Mario always gets the Princess.
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Quote: 763160; Rating: 1573; [+|-]
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<Will T. Rex> So, at the pub last saturday
<Will T. Rex> Really bogan pub, with pool and AC/DC on the TV jukebox, at 3am in the morning... my nerdy friend says very loudly "NEED MOAR BEER!"
<Will T. Rex> with emphasis on the 'moaaar', because we are nerds
<Will T. Rex> ... and out of nowhere, some random dude screams "WE ARE ANNONYMOUS, WE ARE LEGION"
<Will T. Rex> Fucking terrifying
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Quote: 3046; Rating: 110; [+|-]
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<tomg> er I have no comment on this.
<tomg> :P
<Jumper> tomg: afraid of being quoted ? :P
<tomg> no, I'm afraid my mum will find the quotes :P
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Quote: 98072; Rating: 359; [+|-]
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<The-Jim> Next time I fly British Airways I'm gonna steal the little knife, fork and spoon, they're like 2/3rd the size of normal ones, gonna keep them in my bag.
<xace> do it
<xace> then when people try to make you use a spork
<xace> be like
<xace> FUCK YOU I HAVE MINI FORK, KNIFE, AND SPOON
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Quote: 22204; Rating: 139; [+|-]
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* supreemballs listens to (#69): Richard Simmons & Little Richard - Together Forever.
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Quote: 84778; Rating: 208; [+|-]
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<Supergoad> im about to bid on a damn fine sexy router
<Supergoad> im gonna sleep with it, caress its ports with my tounge
<Supergoad> then im gonna plug my cable into it
<Supergoad> and its LED's are gonna go wild
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Quote: 447745; Rating: 704; [+|-]
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<+Aegis> fried chicken and malt liquor
<+Onic> what you using fried chicken and malt liquor for other than the obvious Aegis
<+Aegis> bait
<+Aegis> my TV was stolen
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Quote: 669708; Rating: 902; |
(+[CSI]ACE-340) anybody want to buy my motorcycle and then loan me $3500
(@Ic3x^) what kind of motorcycle
(+[CSI]ACE-340) gsx-r1100
(@Ic3x^) erm, not my style... I don't like speed bikes
(+[CSI]ACE-340) it can go slow too
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Quote: 196421; Rating: 178; [+|-]
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<fudge> wow
<fudge> i am blessed
<fudge> ffx-2 AND an AOL 9.0 disc
<ShinakuTK_> ...some one gave you a AOHELL disk for a crimbo present?
<fudge> i doubt it's a xmas present
<fudge> i just get them all year then give them away at halloween to the kiddies
<ShinakuTK_> lol
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Quote: 5489; Rating: 3197; [+|-]
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<Entomorph> you know what cracks me up.. trojan condoms, hehe.. I mean if you think about it, a trojan horse was really full off all these little men, and it was a trick to get them inside the fortress.. once inside, the horse BUSTS open, and all the little men come flowing out
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Quote: 171; Rating: 796; |
[+Vile] (smcn): just because you dress like them doesnt mean you are
[!smcn] m/sg Vile would you like to touch my breasts
[!smcn] oops
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Quote: 6717; Rating: 201; [+|-]
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<WinTek> whats a good efnet server?
<Julie2> thats an oxymoron
<ToidyMan> WinTek, good and efnet don't belong in the same sentence
<F`Nar> they don't belong on the same internet
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Quote: 39596; Rating: 2005; [+|-]
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<@Theseus314> if I invite my girlfriend in here for a short time will you guys behave yourself?
<Vetek> yes
*** FunG is now known as CaptainGapingAnus
*** poo_al[Away] is now known as i_want_to_fuck_thess_gf
*** IgWannA is now known as HotChickNeedSex
<@CaptainGapingAnus> we will behave
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Quote: 15507; Rating: 269; [+|-]
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<treaps> i've always wanted to try taking diezepam and trying to do math or program computers
<rdgzt> What's diezepam?
<treaps> muscle relaxer/antianxiety drug
<treaps> it's a class IV drug on this chart
<rdgzt> It makes you shit your pants and not worry about it?
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Quote: 76577; Rating: 189; [+|-]
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<lost-and-found> a firewall is just an internet condom
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Quote: 73186; Rating: 577; [+|-]
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<Pac>: So I said to my roommate: "Ahomosayswhat?" My Roommate : *mumbles incoherently* Pac: what?.............dammit
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Quote: 536709; Rating: 1150; [+|-]
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<EqD> How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
<Castille> 1 to cry about it, 5 to post to an indie rock forum talking about how great the new lightbulb is, 15 to say that the old lightbulb was just fine, and to wish they'd stop changing their light and 25 to flame each other on typoes and musical taste?
<Castille> so ... 41?
<EqD> Frankly, I don't care. Let the little fuckers cry in the dark.
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Quote: 523701; Rating: 169; |
<flamebird> using trillian because \"it works with MSN too\" is the same as saying \"well im not going to a strip club tonight, ill just get my mother to give me a lap dance.. shes a woman\" - its true.. but.. NO
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Quote: 670471; Rating: 16; |
<loo> every fucking bj should be two-handed
<mit3> actually it pretty much depends.
<mit3> like what if you ask the girl to choke herself.
<mit3> you gotta pick your poison
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Quote: 2258; Rating: 912; [+|-]
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<davidks> there's this girl in my evolution inf. diseases class.. she has enormous tits.. they are monster tits.. seriously.. well she wore this shirt that said, across her chest: "Hey! I'm up here! (Arrow pointing up)"
<davidks> I thought that was pretty funny.
<davidks> i told her i had the same problem and she laughed .. but that's all i could say to her because her boobs intimidated me
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Quote: 16818; Rating: 64; |
<Nago> hmm... my coke tastes a bit like flesh...
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Quote: 58449; Rating: 75; [+|-]
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* DrZaius sets mode: +b *.*!*@*
<DrZaius> lmao
<sneve> haha
<Air|THPS2> doc
<Air|THPS2> why *.*!?
<DrZaius> i've been using dos a lot lately
<DrZaius> and wasn't thinking
* DrZaius sets mode: -b *.*!*@*
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Quote: 43163; Rating: 330; [+|-]
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<zuKi> YOU KNOW WHAT WAS CREEPY
<zuKi> AT THE BLOOD DRIVE AT SCHOOL THE BASEBALL COACH WAS RACING THE FOOTBALL PLAYERS TO SEE WHO COULD GIVE THE MOST BLOOD IN A GIVEN AMOUNT OF TIME
<zamros> HAHAHA
<_ry0suke_> :DDDDDDDDD
<zamros> WHAT ASSHOLES
<zuKi> AND HE'S ALL "IF YOU PUMP YOUR HAND YOU'LL GET MORE BLOOD OUT OF IT
<_ry0suke_> DDDDDDDDDD:
<zuKi> IT WAS THE SCARIEST THING EVER
<zuKi> MAYBE X GAMES WILL HAVE A NEW SPORT
<zuKi> "TONY HAWK PRO BLOOD DONOR"
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Quote: 443246; Rating: 422; [+|-]
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halfbakedbuzzard: ahah, my next door neighbors house is on fire
halfbakedbuzzard: brb, gotta get the camera
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Quote: 695858; Rating: 570; |
<Roxus> what's the longest a USB cable can run ?
<zengolfer> Roxus: depends on how much it trains and conditions
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Quote: 53487; Rating: 146; [+|-]
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<JanusLexington> have you guys seen the new MSN commercial?
<JanusLexington> with friend browsing?
<JanusLexington> worst
<JanusLexington> invention
<JanusLexington> EVAR
<Caff> pay $14.95 to browse web with your friends
<JanusLexington> friend porn browsing...
<Caff> it's like "SHARE YOUR PORN PASSWORDS!"
<Caff> "DON'T BE EMBARASSED UR NOT TEH ONLY ONE MASTER BATING~~~~~"
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Quote: 881393; Rating: 2318; [+|-]
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<jax> I think the thing I've been most ashamed of doing with my penis
<jax> was trying to see if I could register it as a fingerprint on my laptops fingerprint scanner
<jax> JUST so I could login with a penis print
<jax> it didn't work :(
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Quote: 83512; Rating: 202; |
<{R3D}Hurricane> you know your a geek when the highlight of your vacation consisted of spying on people in the Oracle HQ Building with binoculars from your hotel room
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Quote: 841280; Rating: 3410; [+|-]
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<Xikaze> I believe my mom finally realized that calling my brother a son of a bitch was fairly stupid on her part
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Quote: 482940; Rating: 540; [+|-]
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abmac: you should listen to more phish
abmac: and smoke more weed
speedo: you should smoke less weed
abmac: psh
abmac: hey!
abmac: if you put an "i" in psh
abmac: it's phish
abmac: mind-blowing....
speedo: no it's not, idiot
speedo: it's pish
abmac: psh
abmac: maybe i should smoke less weed
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Quote: 366; Rating: 1344; |
<Toazt> "Too few women on the internet?
<Toazt> There are lots of women on the internet,
<Toazt> only most of them are naked and in JPG-format."
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Quote: 148098; Rating: 598; [+|-]
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<timovgod> I was in a rape awarness class once, well... my picture was.
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Quote: 49238; Rating: 57; |
<P33R\> I suppose you could stand on your hands and take a beer bong in the ass
<pagan> are you talking form experience ?
<P33R\> yeah
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Quote: 22213; Rating: 605; [+|-]
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<Stingray_> JeyK: we should open a site similar to thinkgeek where people can order IRC-related stuff
<JeyK> Stingray_: I'm scared of dot bombs!
<Stingray_> like shirts that say "My dad can /kick your dad"
<JeyK> haha
<SamBecket> lol
<JeyK> "Your son may have straight As, but my son can /kick your son"
<Stingray_> lol
<Stingray_> that would be a good bumper sticker
<Stingray_> alas, I'm a bit young to pull that off
<JeyK> I've seen "Your son may have straight As, but my son can ____ your son" a lot
<Stingray_> how about "Your son may have straight As, but your daughter has double Ds and don't my son know it!"
<JeyK> ROFL
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