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Quote: 8480; Rating: 67; [+|-]
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<esthar> man this guy DEFINITELY ripped me off with beer the other night
<esthar> he made me pay the same amount for a six pack that i could get a 12 pack for
<helminthes> you better watch out.. next thing you know he'll wipe out your family and steal your identity
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Quote: 8481; Rating: 182; [+|-]
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<Kaff> Pumpkin: The art of eating a girl out while she's on the shitter.
<Kaff> how is that a pumpkin
<mmm> gross
<Kaff> how is that normal.
<Kaff> who does that
<Kaff> I WANT NAMES
<Kaff> (and numbers)
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Quote: 8482; Rating: -4; [+|-]
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<dr_rotcod> and you.. you'll be doing something stupid
<dr_rotcod> like skateboarding
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Quote: 8483; Rating: 367; [+|-]
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<tm> hmm, our call centre manager just asked how do i turn off capslock
<Zaph0d> tm: Ctrl-Alt-DEl
<tm> she's crying on her keyboard now
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Quote: 8484; Rating: 256; [+|-]
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<Bobski> goconnect. the internet equivalent of the dole.
<jamesm> what is it?
<Bobski> a freebie internet service for those who blew their last 5 bucks on mcdonalds
<jamesm> how do they make money?
<Bobski> you install a wanky dialer and it spatters your screen with ads. mostly mcdonalds ads actually :)
<jamesm> in case you find another fiver
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Quote: 8485; Rating: 57; [+|-]
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<Kaff> how festy are we talking ?
<tm> makes your armpits seem like surgical theatres
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Quote: 8486; Rating: 163; [+|-]
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<hakan> mine is bent upwards but the base points down
<hakan> its like a plant trying to grow to get more sunlight
<helminthes> yeah except it's your weiner
<hakan> but theres moss on it
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Quote: 8487; Rating: 192; [+|-]
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<cactoid> pr0n is critical internet infrastructure
<cactoid> if pron wasn't flowing freely, ISPs wouldn't need to upgrade their gear and networking vendors would go out of business
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Quote: 8488; Rating: 271; [+|-]
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<dr_rotcod> he's an ex marine and i was drunk so i said, "alright marine, kill me with one touch!"
<hakan> holy shit. wrong thing to say
<dr_rotcod> and all the sudden i was in some weird hold having my shoulder ripped apart
<dr_rotcod> and then i fell on the ground laughing/crying
<hakan> did it break??
<dr_rotcod> he looked at his hands and went, "oh my god! the demons of the american military have shone through and i am hopeless!! HOPELESS"
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Quote: 8489; Rating: 4; [+|-]
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<helminthes> hey i have a good pick up line
<helminthes> "if you vomit i'm not fucking holding your hair back"
<helminthes> "later"
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Quote: 8490; Rating: 575; [+|-]
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<aquacavi> well what if i told you i was pregnant
<helminthes> IS IT MINE?!?!
<aquacavi> yours or the dogs
<helminthes> IT'S THE DOG'S
<helminthes> IF HE DENIES IT TELL HIM HE CAN'T TALK
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Quote: 8491; Rating: 239; [+|-]
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<rafeil> i had a dream i had 3 penis's of varying legnth and direction
<rafeil> and 2 girls were sucking on them, but they were sucking on the numb ones. only one had feeling. it was like the head of the hydra myth
<helminthes> no.. not the numb ones.. oh god no.. {wakes up violently in cold sweat}
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Quote: 8492; Rating: 199; [+|-]
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<KKKBitch> im making jason take me out for dinner !!%^&*)
<KKKBitch> i have my speech ready for when he walks in the door and all.
<Bayls> KK - What's your speech?
<KKKBitch> "if you take me out for dinner, i won't give you any of my PMT shit - the end"
<KKKBitch> i used to say "if you take me out for dinner, i'll suck your dick" but he soon found that i was lying.
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Quote: 8493; Rating: 0; [+|-]
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<jamesm> is ntpd 4.0.99k23 ok?
<tm> yeah, giving remote root is now a documented feature
<sisko> laff
<jamesm> well, i know the answer now and i'm not telling you cunts
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Quote: 8494; Rating: 144; [+|-]
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<helminthes> omg, i was about to walk into class today but it wasn't until right before i opened the door that i realized i wasn't wearing pants, but i didn't go home i went ahead and dealt with it and lo and behold, there was a test in that class that i hadn't studied for at all. so i jumped out the window and right
when i hit the ground my cell phone went off
<hakan> yipes
<rafeil> yeh
<helminthes> and that's how it all started
<helminthes> how was your day
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Quote: 8495; Rating: 233; [+|-]
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[arkZZZ ] Hi! I`m having trouble playing a couple of divx-movies.. I only get "No combination of filters could be found to render the stream". Does anyone know what to do?
[Synoptica] arkZZZ: download the fkn codec?
[arkZZZ ] fkn? where?
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Quote: 8496; Rating: 321; [+|-]
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[dodgelap ] fuck
[dodgelap ] work didnt put my pay into my account
[dodgelap ] wtf is goin on ?
* Synoptica thinks of 'Milton' from office space
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Quote: 8497; Rating: 540; [+|-]
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<hakan> I hate it when the girl looks into the camera during a blow job. It totally destroys the fourth wall, which is so very important in a porno flick.
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Quote: 8498; Rating: -81; [+|-]
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<Chris H> I'm going to marry someone with no eyes and no teeth.
<CharlEnie> haha
<Zilv3r> LmAo LoL!
<Chris H> It isn't THAT funny... do u even know why she
<Zilv3r> yeah!! so she doesn't bite you...
<CharlEnie> Does that mean u dont know why she shouldn't have eyes?
<Zilv3r> no.. wait.. i know i know!!! so she cant see you?
<CharlEnie> LoL!
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Quote: 8499; Rating: 224; [+|-]
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<Tippytoes> i have kids in the room
<Tippytoes> is it safe to look at?
<bark> i don't think they mention any words like CUNT on that page, no
<tm> just hide it behind your anal porn
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Quote: 8500; Rating: 285; [+|-]
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<Dane> i had a nice shave just then
<Dane> it turned out really well for mew
<Dane> purposely left just enough growth so that i still appear young and "hip" but still sufficiently mature and masculine
<cactoid> in other words, gay
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Quote: 8501; Rating: 278; [+|-]
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<cactoid> you love the Colonel
<cactoid> I like KFC chippies
<cactoid> and zinger burgers
<cactoid> the rest tastes ok while you're eating it but it's just fucking gross greasy fried vermin
<Bayls> Yeah, the chips are ace.
<Bayls> The actual chicken pieces are shit.
<Bayls> You may as well sculpt some lard into a shape the looks like a drumstick, then coat it with butter. Then roll it in lard, then melt fat onto it, then fry it in animal fat, dip it in lard then eat it.
<Bayls> I think 10 out of the 11 secrec "herbs and spices" are "lard".
<Bayls> Mmmm, making me hungry. Might go get a 21 piece bucket. :)
*** Signoff: Bayls
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Quote: 8502; Rating: 394; [+|-]
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<Doc> hmm.. AOL has this great new thing where you can chat with your friends online!
<Bru> yeah I saw the ad on TV. that would be cool - then I wouldn't have to chat with this bunch of losers and social misfits
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Quote: 8504; Rating: 541; [+|-]
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<dr_rotcod> my poo was white again. this cannot go on
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Quote: 8505; Rating: 1462; [+|-]
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<Doc> hmm.. IE crashed
<Doc> but i suppose it was my fault... after all, i did press teh "Back" button
<Doc> what was i thinking...
<cactoid> you madman
<Tippytoes> risktaker
<Doc> i like to live on the edge
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Quote: 8506; Rating: 167; [+|-]
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<aversion> i was takin a dump today in the stalls
<aversion> and someone stuck their dick through a hole
<aversion> i didnt even get to finish
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Quote: 8507; Rating: 89; [+|-]
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<helminthes> what girls have to realize is that every other guy is wrong and i am right
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Quote: 8511; Rating: 350; [+|-]
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<dr_rotcod> i wonder if my life sucks cause i jerk off after i pray
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Quote: 8522; Rating: -44; [+|-]
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<StoneCold> AND AFTER OL' STONE COLD IS DONE WITH THE ROCK, HE'S FIXIN TO WHIP HIS WIFE'S ASS!!
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Quote: 8526; Rating: 881; [+|-]
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<helminthes> haikus are real gay
<helminthes> cause they put limitations
<helminthes> on syllables used
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Quote: 8527; Rating: 406; [+|-]
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<dr_rotcod> you know its days like these when you say to yourself, 'If I don't become famous, how am I going to kill these people and get away with it?'
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Quote: 8528; Rating: -22; [+|-]
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<aversion> i have an idea
<aversion> how bout i show you my middle finger and you get offended
<aversion> kthxbye
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Quote: 8529; Rating: 197; [+|-]
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<teste_fly> "um yes, i'd like to withdraw from life please"
<teste_fly> "will that be checking or savings?"
<teste_fly> "hmm, i think i just want to cancel my account"
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Quote: 8530; Rating: 156; [+|-]
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<[Bryan]> cams: Damn I'm ugly man.. how do you hang around me?
<cams> i have no idea
<cams> it might be my blindness
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Quote: 8531; Rating: -5; [+|-]
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[invertiga] back
[Lord-Data] we missed you
[Lord-Data] wait.. no we didnt
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Quote: 8534; Rating: 89; [+|-]
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<Ookey> it's the pop ups that I just want to rip out of the computer, and stomp on repeatedly
<Ookey> especially when, like the one I just had, the only way to get rid of the 10 or so that you have + ones that are opening every 2-3 secs is to close down all of ie, and loose any pages etc that you have
<JtHM> are you going to that 'YES, I AM LOOKING AT GAY PORN' page?
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Quote: 8535; Rating: 69; [+|-]
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<BathTub> isn't that your homepage JtHM?
<JtHM> no, mine is www.bathtubsdenofaggotry.com
<BathTub> ah yeah that shrine site you made
<JtHM> worshipping the gayest man alive
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Quote: 8537; Rating: 2163; [+|-]
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<jackal-> someone guess what my cat will type when i drop it on my keyboard
<jackal-> hello i'm a very intelligent cat, save me from my cruel master and free me from this prison
<jackal-> omg
<jackal-> bad cat
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Quote: 8539; Rating: 284; [+|-]
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<teste_fly> wish me luck on my date tonihgt guys
* aquacavi crosses fingers
* dr_rotcod crosses his penises
<teste_fly> :0
<aquacavi> the secret is out ladies and gentlemen
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Quote: 8540; Rating: 114; [+|-]
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<helminthes> does anyone else ever notice when you're sex0ring a fat chic it seems like a good idea at the time, but when your done you feel an overwhelming emptiness?
<helminthes> no one?
<hakan> ...
<helminthes> :p
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Quote: 8543; Rating: -23; [+|-]
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<DeadsouL> poke
<T-Broken\w> *giggle*
<T-Broken|w> *giggle*
* DeadsouL boots T-Broken\w in the snatch for giggling like a sissy
* DeadsouL boots T-Broken|w in the snatch for giggling like a sissy
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Quote: 8544; Rating: 299; [+|-]
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<timovgod> why is it that not 10 minutes after they put the straight-jacket on my nuts start to itch?
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Quote: 8545; Rating: 602; [+|-]
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[@Gentleman_Junkie] Sure your ass will hurt, but its better than getting pregnant...
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Quote: 8554; Rating: 424; [+|-]
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<JungleMason> There's a hole in my heart that can only be filled by you.
<Gabealicious> Have you tried epoxy?
<JungleMason> Yes, and the smell reminds me of you.
<Gabealicious> Or... maybe some of that spray foam insulation...
<JungleMason> I LOVE that shit.
<Gabealicious> me too!
<JungleMason> Tastes GREAT on a Triscuit.
<Gabealicious> Yes ... some folks call it 'ez cheez'
<JungleMason> Burger King calls it "Ranch Dip."
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Quote: 8555; Rating: 167; [+|-]
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<Gabealicious> Will you please yank all these goddamned hairs from my nose???
<JungleMason> You need to go to Sharper Image or something and get a fancy nose-hair cutting gizmo.
<Gabealicious> I think so.
<JungleMason> Make sure you read the warning label though: "Not safe for most rectums."
<Gabealicious> It's a bit late for that.
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Quote: 8560; Rating: 237; [+|-]
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<@xpro> sweet, just found 13$ in some dirty pants
<@pimp> who was wearing them?
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Quote: 8562; Rating: 453; [+|-]
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<Minstrel> OMG!
<Minstrel> OMG!
<Minstrel> OMG!
<Minstrel> Tornado!
<Guantlet> better get to the basement mins
<Minstrel> bbl, Ima go get stoned and go outside.
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Quote: 8565; Rating: 1010; [+|-]
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<TF_Baxter> fucking plug and play my ass
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Quote: 8569; Rating: 77; [+|-]
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<BJKlein> so you download opera and use bsd on that?
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Quote: 8571; Rating: 207; [+|-]
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## baguette is away since Mon Sep 10 12:31:41 2001 -- fuck
<screampuff> gee, that's not a bad reason to be away...
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