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Quote: 386488; Rating: 423; [+|-]
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<KainSularei> ah, bash.org
<KainSularei> 17037 quotes approved; 13482 quotes copied from the top 100 bash quotes pending; 5 original quotes pending |
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Quote: 72623; Rating: 777; [+|-]
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<palos> i loved electives cause there were actually girls in them, oh and they were really easy :)
<blindwork> the girls or the classes?
<palos> yes |
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Quote: 237400; Rating: 539; [+|-]
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<|TripleH|> so.. where are all the bitches who wanna make me somethin to eat.=P
<epoch--> |TripleH|: they are having a meeting with all the bitches that want to sleep with you
<Elmyra> so far, the room is empty..
<lenoreo> all those folded chairs for nothing...
<Elmyra> but we're still hopeful that SOMEONE will show up. ..
<epoch--> or SOMETHING |
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Quote: 20020; Rating: 184; [+|-]
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<furan> A GNOME WITH NO HOME
<emul8or_> what is an accurate description of me?
<emul8or_> we're playing jeopardy, right? |
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Quote: 376045; Rating: 132; [+|-]
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<[S]Supey|Llama> oogm! britney! toxic! my bro has the best songs!!!!1oneoneone(x, where y=2, and x=y/2) |
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Quote: 216831; Rating: 1001; [+|-]
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<Volt9000> WHY ARE THERE ALWAYS PUBES ALL OVER MY KEYBOARD?!
<FunG> you coughed? |
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Quote: 56155; Rating: 246; [+|-]
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[54]Drekknni: I've noticed that Mario Sunshine makes me feel pretty violent. More so than GTA3 or other "violent", "adult" games, anyway. I can't stand more than 20 minutes or so of it without getting pissed off and throwing the controller. |
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Quote: 83777; Rating: 386; [+|-]
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<Macavity> I'm growing a beard. It's really itchy, growing a beard...
<fin> Then shave.
<Macavity> But I weant a beard for I-Con.
<Macavity> And a real one, not a spirit-gummed-on fake one.
<fin> Why?
<Macavity> Just...because I do. Because it's part of the look for a LARP character I have.
<fin> OK. Stop there. I don't want to know anymore. Goddamn.
<Macavity> BECAUSE I FUCKING FEEL LIKE GROWING A BEARD, OKAY?
<Macavity> Shiiiit....
<fin> Which part of "changing your appearance to fit in with a LARP character" doesn't sound stupid to you?
<Maestro|OoT> LARP?
<Furry_Geek> Live Action Role Playing.
<Maestro|OoT> Oh, NO.
<fin> OK, scratch that. Which part of "playing a LARP" doesn't sound stupid to you? |
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Quote: 748785; Rating: 792; [+|-]
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<SyntaxError> So how do you guys think Bush is doing
<Pacster> Don't get me started ...
<Merrick178> I'm sick of people hating Bush
<Pacster> Omg -.-
<Merrick178> He's doing pretty good for a retarded person |
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Quote: 513887; Rating: 632; [+|-]
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Ford_Prefect: I\'m at 2.0 MBPS!!
Navi00: Psh
Navi00: What kinda connection?\\
JK-63: With your cantenna.
Ford_Prefect: DSL
Ford_Prefect: no, I am using my standard antenna
Navi00: wtf is a cantenna?!
Ford_Prefect: because I need the connector for my cantenna
JK-63: It\'s a little antenna that can.
Ford_Prefect: works better
JK-63: You know the story, right?
JK-63: The little antenna that pushed the signal through the wall?
* Zortexia sits down for the story
Ford_Prefect: HE was having trouble carrying data fast enough
JK-63: And then, a strange packet came along.
JK-63: And encouraged him, because the packet was from A STRANGE ROUTER! *gasp*
* Zortexia gasps!
Ford_Prefect: I think I can
Ford_Prefect: I think I ca
Ford_Prefect: *n
Ford_Prefect: I think I can
Zortexia: LMAO!
JK-63: The cantenna pushed and pushed as hard as he could, and got a signal through to the strange router!
Zortexia: yay for cantenna!
Ford_Prefect: and downloaded an entire copy
Ford_Prefect: of microsoft XP
Ford_Prefect: in one hour
* Zortexia eyes get big
Navi00: That is the most adorable thing I\'ve ever heard
Navi00: loll
Ford_Prefect: *pirated I might add
Navi00: XD
Ford_Prefect: :0
Zortexia: :O
Zortexia: then what happened
Ford_Prefect: he lived happily ever after leaching off of other people\'s wireless connectiong
Navi00: heh heh heh heh
JK-63: And the hacker driving the cantenna was very happy with his new copy of Windows XP.
Ford_Prefect: the end |
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Quote: 181923; Rating: 38; [+|-]
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<Luna-Chan> I'm bleeding
<Forte> Don't shoot the messenger. |
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Quote: 786351; Rating: 901; [+|-]
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<M> Almost got smacked today - saw a bright green truck and said, "Hey, look, it's Optimus Lime." |
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Quote: 6683; Rating: 231; [+|-]
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<alex> well with the intel pentium III processor enhancing the web as it is, who knows |
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Quote: 53851; Rating: 438; [+|-]
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(_ph): im hungry
(kingy`r): eat a dick :P
(_ph): im a little hungrier than that
(sole): eat two dicks then
(_ph): we're talking at least 5 here |
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Quote: 665552; Rating: 931; [+|-]
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<pete_> Dude, if I ever become an emt
<pete_> I'm so driving the ambulance to a funeral home,
<pete_> Walk in and just be like, "Hey, sorry if I'm late..." |
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Quote: 785888; Rating: 791; [+|-]
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* lloy0076 ponders
< lloy0076> If I take the source code, which is under GPLv2, and translate it from C to Perl (changing it only to fit the new language)...I wonder if the GPL covers that translation I made...
< cafuego> converting C to perl is covered by the death penalty, i believe |
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Quote: 7540; Rating: 263; [+|-]
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< Kayne > man, i should take this vibrating monkey out of my ass... it's starting to affect my typing |
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Quote: 55524; Rating: 462; [+|-]
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<pairo> you know you're doomed when you have to whois your domain registrar ID to find out your own phone number |
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Quote: 21732; Rating: 427; [+|-]
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* Zibzib hees. "go tahoe" -> "gotahoe.com" <-- Worst URL Faux Pas Ever |
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Quote: 64; Rating: 990; [+|-]
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<Ash> Win2k! ^_^
*** Ash Quit (Read error: 73 (Connection reset by peer)) |
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Quote: 29247; Rating: 356; [+|-]
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<dingo> did you hear the polish government bought 5000 septic tanks?
<twolovvers> what in the hell for?
<twolovvers> well, as soon as they figure out how to drive them, they're going to invade germany.
<twolovvers> huh?
<twolovvers> I'm very naive, and I pay no attention to world news
<twolovvers> so if your bullshitting me I havn't a clue
<dingo> septic tanks....drive them...going to invade...
<dingo> umm...
<dingo> you dye your hair blonde lately?
<twolovvers> no it's dark brown with a hint of red
<twolovvers> septic tanks aren't meant to be driven
<dingo> ...
<twolovvers> so your making a polish joke to mock them?
<dingo> i think they're mocking themselves at this point. |
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Quote: 1464; Rating: 319; [+|-]
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<HomerJ> damn, how many newsgroups are there now?
<HomerJ> 80k+
<HomerJ> I just want some porn |
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Quote: 455441; Rating: 999; [+|-]
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<BoTGoD> In the wet season, when my house lies at the eye of a particularly savage thunderstorm storm, lightning all around and power out, i like to masturbate - it makes me feel like i am thor. |
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Quote: 80542; Rating: 228; [+|-]
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<Stoned> ever had someone do a numerology chart for you?
<Duck> no
<Veng> no but I got a hand job off a nurse once |
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Quote: 8535; Rating: 109; [+|-]
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<BathTub> isn't that your homepage JtHM?
<JtHM> no, mine is www.bathtubsdenofaggotry.com
<BathTub> ah yeah that shrine site you made
<JtHM> worshipping the gayest man alive |
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Quote: 766098; Rating: 778; [+|-]
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<@gotti> you know you go to a bar too much when quicken suggests it as a scheduled transaction |
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Quote: 37086; Rating: 103; [+|-]
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<Frightener> anyone else have a problem with their balls getting out of alignment? |
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Quote: 301773; Rating: 813; [+|-]
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<Greg> I think the messaging service is down.
<Terry> I guess we'll have to go to the backup system.
<Greg> Yes.u00a0 Paper airplanes.u00a0 With messages written on them.
<Greg> Like right now, I want to talk to Brian.
<Will> His door is closed.u00a0 It won't work.
<Will> He's in 'Away' mode. |
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Quote: 799497; Rating: 1298; [+|-]
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<CuttingEdge> Current Global Users: 300
<CuttingEdge> not doing too badly today
<LordCow> sweet, 300
<LordCow> now we can attack the persians |
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Quote: 189296; Rating: 329; [+|-]
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* SLingmas sets mode: +b *!*@*
<@SLingmas> it's ok
<@SLingmas> I had subway for lunch |
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Quote: 16813; Rating: 121; [+|-]
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<B-ob> if (sleep < 0) then talk = null
<Stonefish> oh smeg off |
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Quote: 414593; Rating: 21546; [+|-]
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DragonflyBlade21: A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired. |
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Quote: 813269; Rating: 1315; [+|-]
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<lordpie> Life sucks so much right now. It seems I'm spending all of it doing math.
<Rosti_LFC> You are "Math Boy"
<Rosti_LFC> Doer of math
<Rosti_LFC> Unable to integrate with society. Only with functions of x |
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Quote: 49734; Rating: -50; [+|-]
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<c-rOCK> man im gonna smoke like an 8th to my dome right before food time
<c-rOCK> munchies like fuck. |
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Quote: 52136; Rating: 539; [+|-]
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<LIQuid> my mom is convinced that i need milk
<LIQuid> yeah well i tell her that i dont need to be artifically breast feed by genetically altered and enhanced cows
<LIQuid> all she says "dont make me get your father"
<Deke> your dad is going to breastfeed you? |
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Quote: 56762; Rating: 315; [+|-]
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<CursedBurger> i hate it when i'm watching some good porn and the entire clip's ruined because one of the guys has a mullet |
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Quote: 2167; Rating: 460; [+|-]
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*** Topic in #cars is 'saab's look like confused suitcases with wheels' |
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Quote: 43820; Rating: 179; [+|-]
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<+Lithium> i have a very large question mark above my head :)
<+datafreak> press backspace then |
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Quote: 5514; Rating: 216; [+|-]
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[Lord-Data] damn. wish gdivx had brought me girls instead of fame and money |
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Quote: 14860; Rating: 692; [+|-]
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[01:03am] u00b7ctu00b7 last night
[01:03am] u00b7ctu00b7 my girlfriend walks out of the room to goto the bathroom
[01:03am] u00b7ctu00b7 and she walks back in
[01:03am] u00b7ctu00b7 and i start feeling her tits
[01:03am] u00b7ctu00b7 and she turns on the light
[01:03am] u00b7ctu00b7 and its not even her, its my mom
[01:03am] u0095Necrou0095 ... |
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Quote: 8529; Rating: 244; [+|-]
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<teste_fly> "um yes, i'd like to withdraw from life please"
<teste_fly> "will that be checking or savings?"
<teste_fly> "hmm, i think i just want to cancel my account" |
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Quote: 160120; Rating: 550; [+|-]
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<redoz> it should be illegal to release games in the middle of midterms |
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Quote: 800849; Rating: 799; [+|-]
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<DonMuttoni_> what do you do when you've fallen in love with your best friends ex after shooting her down, sending him to the hospital with a drug overdose, and then running over her deaf cat.... all two weeks before you leave the continent....?
<KingOfAll> Leave a fortnight early. |
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Quote: 6962; Rating: 302; [+|-]
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<SlapAyoda:#916> felix, do these girls names end in jpg or gif?
<felix:#916> slap: names are insignificant |
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Quote: 291399; Rating: 764; [+|-]
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<Kaelic> I know the trick to talking to girls
<Twinge> Just run up to her and say "DIGGGGITTAALLLL PANNNNTTTSSSSS.... ACTIVATE!"
<Kaelic> Wtf?
<Kaelic> Might as well say "Go Go Gadget Penis!" |
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Quote: 574238; Rating: 1033; [+|-]
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<testman> i asked my girlfriend to come home to watch the last samurai
<testman> and she answered "i'd like to, but i didn't see the first ones" |
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Quote: 652626; Rating: 429; [+|-]
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<-- djjkotze_home has quit (Quit: setlife -> work())
<lordvetinari> that's not only sad, but syntactically incorrect |
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Quote: 7174; Rating: 399; [+|-]
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<Latino-Heat> my mum wants me to get a piercing or a tattoo to make me look meaner |
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Quote: 605834; Rating: 625; [+|-]
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<Trent> ohh, i saw brokeback mountain last night <_<
<Ngamer> pretty good?
<Come> I hear Ebert gave it 1 thumb up and a reacharound. |
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Quote: 47627; Rating: 411; [+|-]
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<tn> !@)#(%&#R
<tn> i absolutely DETEST doing tech support for pseudo-management
<tn> "hey, i can't log in, it says my password is invalid or something, can you come upstairs and check?"
<tn> so i go up and her bloody capslock is on
<tn> i mean like, wtf
<tn> they need to make Windows DE - Dummies Edition
<tn> that will pull up all of the damn error messages BIG and BRIGHT along with the possible causes and bright colours
<Peon> hahaha
<Peon> poor tn =)
<Peon> what's pseudo abt the management?
<tn> everything.,
<Peon> what did u say to her?
<tn> "your capslock was on.u00a0 try again."
<Peon> awww. that's too nice =)
<tn> i agree
<tn> i haven't received my increment yet though.
<gampit> bah tn, you're no bofh thats for sure, you shouldve claimed her computer had an unhealthy color so it must contain a virus and then you shouldve smashed it to pieces
<tn> that would have wasted too much time.u00a0 i have better things to do, like access her email now that i've seen the password ;]
<Peon> lol. from her typing?
<tn> of course
<Peon> i'm not that good =(
<tn> when ppl type one finger at a time...
<Peon> ^^ |
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