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Quote: 33372; Rating: 7; [+|-]
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<Indole> never thought I'd say this, but I think I'm actually missing pubes a bit.
<Phucker> It happens to the best of us.
<Phucker> ":("
<steelcap> lol
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Quote: 6804; Rating: 110; [+|-]
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<justin> i had a guy claim sending ctcp fuckyou's was a DOS attack and try to get my account deleted
<justin> 'cain' on efnet.. fuckwit
<cafuego> '*!*@*' on efnet.. fuckwit
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Quote: 4044; Rating: 223; [+|-]
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<[Shinji]> Statitics say that 85% of College men mastrubate at least once per day. Hmmm... I'm about due.... I'll be back in 10..
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Quote: 21918; Rating: 613; [+|-]
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<Funk> I think the puppet on the left supports my views. No, I think the puppet on the right supports my views the best. Hey, they're both held by the same man! GO BACK TO SLEEP AMERICA, YOUR GOVERNMENT IS IN CONTROL
<craNKGod> WE NEED TO REVOLT
<Funk> Trust me, you Americans are revolting enough
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Quote: 20753; Rating: 226; [+|-]
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<Gothmog> hmmm... we keep on changing our nicks to reflect what we're doing... so how come when we're chatting, we don't change our nicks to whatever|IRC?
<Gothmog> Gothmog: asking the hard questions since 2002
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Quote: 14500; Rating: 353; [+|-]
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@(F|uid) candlelight dinners suck
@(F|uid) i cant see my food
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Quote: 133750; Rating: 415; [+|-]
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<Calren> Zaphod, do you think that if I arrange AOL CD's in a pentagram I will be able to use the powers of darkness to control the actions of mortals?
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Quote: 80429; Rating: 623; [+|-]
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<monkeylice> i would get laid this weekend but my cargo van is in the shop and im out of chloroform
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Quote: 88377; Rating: 429; [+|-]
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<Rejo> cpufreak: The trouble with troubleshooting is that trouble sometimes shoots back.
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Quote: 45578; Rating: 533; [+|-]
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<Ron> Just for the hell of it the other day, I went into Word and typed out the alphabet with a whole bunch of fonts...then practiced copying them so I could handwrite in like, seven different fonts.
<Fire3n3rgy> ...
<Fite3n3rgy> go masturbate or something
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Quote: 15550; Rating: 305; [+|-]
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<\broken> eye kant teyep
<JackArse> sure you can
<JackArse> you just can't spell
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Quote: 56528; Rating: 147; [+|-]
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<StarThorn> "What do you think about before you go to bed?" "Sex." "What do you think about when you wake up?" "Sex." "What're you thinking of right now?" "My dog Sparky" "Ok, You're sharing too much, now..."
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Quote: 572581; Rating: 440; [+|-]
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<che> there's a programmer's union?
<Wintermute> yes
<Wintermute> Local 100100101110101010010
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Quote: 11160; Rating: -42; [+|-]
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<EazyCheez> I wonder if I can't unplug my 3 1/2"'s interface cable and use that with my old CD-ROM (Samsung)
<RvLeshrac> EazyCheez: No
<pupkick> samsung is radio shack for people with mental handicaps
<EazyCheez> RvLeshrac: I can't unplug my floppy disk drive's interface cable and put it into my CD-ROM?
<thrash-> EazyCheez: Try it... it won't fit.
<feerit> EazyCheez: notice they arent the same pinout
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Quote: 86029; Rating: 273; [+|-]
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<Acero> my parents never bought me candy for shit because my moms a dental assistant
<Acero> so i'd have to hide candy like drugs
<Acero> thats how i got so good at it
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Quote: 56865; Rating: 76; [+|-]
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<SlimSurdy> remind me never to cyber a 16yr old using bitchx under
linux with no pvt msg windows
<SlimSurdy> at least not with you fuckers in the #
<Fanboy> hahaha
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Quote: 669166; Rating: 130; [+|-]
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<roric23> i just pulled an elastic thread out of my sock and now I'm flossing with it :)
<Pace|Around> yay for Sock Floss
<rigelIsGood> Dude, that is kinda gross.
<roric23> well, yeah. it does sort of have that sock-like flavor to it
<roric23> not that I taste socks for a living or anything
<Pace|Around> Well, if you ever want to, you now have something to put on your resume
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Quote: 3848; Rating: 156; [+|-]
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<zedebsky> Coughing sucks, but does get you higher :)
<tonic4> zedebsky, coughing opens up parts of your lungs that usually don't get in air, in the case of smoking, smoke, so thats how it gets you higher
<latez> lol
<latez> we've got a medic
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Quote: 545; Rating: 448; [+|-]
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<smcn> the only thing we have to ph33r is peer itself
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Quote: 32493; Rating: 169; [+|-]
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kydruid: actually Laura Bush is working undercover for the DEA... every gram she snorts is another off the street.
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Quote: 1443; Rating: 4240; [+|-]
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<Graeme> yeah, don't be nasty. my grandad died in a concentration camp......!
<Graeme> he fell out a guard tower. broke his neck
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Quote: 2464; Rating: 768; [+|-]
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<NetShadow> this is going to sound pitiful... but can you tell me how to use a washing machine?
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Quote: 691; Rating: 1185; [+|-]
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<wankel> Apr 16 17:43:34 mankind.boredom.org ftpd[9720]: zirconium (bogus) LOGIN FAILED [from cv796573-a.hcksvle1.ny.home.com]
<wankel> Apr 16 17:43:34 mankind.boredom.org ftpd[9722]: zoology (bogus) LOGIN FAILED [from cv796573-a.hcksvle1.ny.home.com]
<wankel> Apr 16 17:43:34 mankind.boredom.org ftpd[9721]: zoo (bogus) LOGIN FAILED [from cv796573-a.hcksvle1.ny.home.com]
<wankel> Apr 16 17:43:34 mankind.boredom.org ftpd[9723]: zoom (bogus) LOGIN FAILED [from cv796573-a.hcksvle1.ny.home.com]
<wankel> Apr 16 17:43:34 mankind.boredom.org ftpd[9724]: zooplankton (bogus) LOGIN FAILED [from cv796573-a.hcksvle1.ny.home.com]
<wankel> WHOA SHIT
<mendel> someone tell that luser that dictionary attacks refer to the PASSWORD part.
<wankel> christ, 2000 lines back and he was only in w's :)
<wankel> mankind:~ % grep LOGIN FAILED /var/log/messages | wc -l
<wankel> 8923
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Quote: 63352; Rating: 69; [+|-]
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<Spacer> just heard a funny story from my mom just now
<Spacer> she works as a teacher
<Spacer> and in one of her classes, it started to smell like dog poo
<Spacer> so she made everyone check their shoes, but they were all clean
<Spacer> so she went to the head of year
<Spacer> and got her to check everyones shoes
<Spacer> but they were all clean still
<Spacer> the smell was coming from the radiator area, so she asked the caretaker to check it out
<Spacer> while he was doing that, she sent everyone outside
<Spacer> but it still smelt in the corridor
<Spacer> and she traced the smell to some girl
<Spacer> and she checked her shoes, but they were clean
<Spacer> she goes "you smell a little whiffy today, go to the toilets and check yourself out"
<Spacer> so she walks off
<Spacer> and the smell goes
<Spacer> when she gets back, she goes to my mom
<Spacer> with a big smile on her face, and says "sorry miss, i poo'd my panties"
<Spacer> this is a year 11 girl, like 17 years old :P
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Quote: 17941; Rating: 194; [+|-]
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<GameFang11> He says, and he pulls out sword from the wall
<GameFang11> he loses 3 HP
<GameFang11> The Thief attacks Christ
<Chris-Hotwire-Ashtear> hehehe
<GameFang11> DAMN! *Chris
<Drakkor> man
<Drakkor> you are going to hell
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Quote: 4182; Rating: 278; [+|-]
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<Object> next thing you know she'll be sticking dildo's up my ass
<Object> that's just harsh
<[ric]> well it's harsh if it isn't lubed
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Quote: 40530; Rating: 149; [+|-]
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<Cid{FYD}> B R to the B
<Navix{mp3}> Death to Cid for saying: <Cid{FYD}> B R to the B
* Cid{FYD} has quit IRC (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
<Lance> that was easy :P
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Quote: 200729; Rating: 88; [+|-]
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<efm> I'm sorry tbc, but I'm not interested in arguing with you. I prefer to argue with people who have some understanding of the way arguments are conducted.
<tbc> Ouch.
<tbc> And only a few days after jafo stabbed me in the face over the Internet. :-)
<efm> that was rude of him.
<jafo> It was a FRIENDLY stab in the face over the Internet.
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Quote: 46061; Rating: 184; [+|-]
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<skiniminigirl> I wonder if a tall girl will shirnk if you throw her into the dryer
<Mike_Works> I wonder if a short girl will drown if you throw her in the washer
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Quote: 767620; Rating: -364; [+|-]
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CarlXxX: omg
CarlXxX: the power was out when I got home
CarlXxX: so I was like "wtf am I gonna DO!?"
HitmanBravo: =/
CarlXxX: I sat down..
CarlXxX: ate
CarlXxX: cut my nails
CarlXxX: played with my cat
CarlXxX: jerked it
CarlXxX: and slept
HitmanBravo: lol
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Quote: 6688; Rating: 332; [+|-]
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<kitten> Dan, you're my honey bunch sugar plum, pumpy-umpy-upmkin.
<kitten> You're my sweetie pie.
<Danelope> Oh yeah? Well, you're my cuppycake gumdrop snickums-snookums.
<Danelope> You're the apple of my eye.
<ry4n> fuck you guys.
*** ry4n has quit IRC (Quit: Trillian (http://www.ceruleanstudios.com))
<Danelope> Hahaha.
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Quote: 23261; Rating: 278; [+|-]
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(Griff) dalnet has a small man who visits each user's home in turn,. he is like santa,
but he is the nickname man
(Griff) if you have been a good boy or girl he will let you register your nick
(Griff) if you have been bad he will make you Guest34535
(Griff) he's St. NickServ
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Quote: 136734; Rating: 272; [+|-]
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<loko> im not speak spanish
<loko> I use a translator
<Kitsa> what language do you speak?
<loko> spanish
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Quote: 6931; Rating: 473; [+|-]
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<Ibrahim> mike should work for tech support
<Ibrahim> not any company in particular, just tech support in genreal
<michael> Ibrahim, That seems like a good idea in theory. But take into account my acute lack of patience.
<Ibrahim> that's the point.
<Ibrahim> we record all calls, video tape you, and sell it as comedy things.
<michael> Mmmm...no.
<Ibrahim> you'd make plenty of money.
<michael> Mmmm...no.
<Ibrahim> Free Donuts.
<michael> Mmmm...no.
<Ibrahim> how about your choice of 20 nude women at your beck and call carrying large tropical drinks.
<Ibrahim> actually, we could make more money with said 20 women and the video.
<michael> How about we combine all of them?
<Ibrahim> a comedy about 20 nude women with donuts and large tropical drinks?
<LdySaphyre> I want the video of Ib trying to talk twenty women into being michael's nude servants.
<michael> Ibrahim, No. A comedy about 20 nude women seducing me and offering me large tropical drinks while I try to perform my duties as a tech support person :P
<Ibrahim> now THERE is a video!
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Quote: 6619; Rating: 223; [+|-]
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<Jon^D> if I was gay and in ireland I'd score with gav
<Jon^D> he's my hero
<Jon^D> he'd probably have to be gay too mind
<arioch> those repressed homosexual tendencies are coming to the surface now
<Jon^D> I wish I was gay
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Quote: 255859; Rating: 64; [+|-]
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<BaD-CooL> for the first time in history, two zombie movies are at the movie theaters at the same time
<BaD-CooL> dawn of the dead and passion of the christ
<BaD-CooL> jesus is the original zombie
<BaD-CooL> then he sucked the brains out of all the dumbass christian faggots
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Quote: 33367; Rating: 268; [+|-]
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<KK-> shydawg I am sweating like R. Kelly at a girl scout meeting
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Quote: 8544; Rating: 323; [+|-]
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<timovgod> why is it that not 10 minutes after they put the straight-jacket on my nuts start to itch?
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Quote: 2238; Rating: 554; [+|-]
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<DrWoody> List of things I have accomplished today:
<DrWoody> ...
<DrWoody> ...
<DrWoody> That is all.
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Quote: 1459; Rating: 230; [+|-]
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[Mass] the 4 x 4 is 4 slabs of beef with 3 buns
[orion] jesus mass
[orion] that's like eating for a african family of 30
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Quote: 97980; Rating: 333; [+|-]
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<Knives-> MY MODEM KEEPS DESYNCING.
* Knives- kicks the modem
<Knives-> I'll call the ISP
<Knives-> They'll tell me "It must be something you've installed"
<Knives-> And I'll go "INSTALLING SOMETHING THAT DESYNCS A MODEM IS LIKE INSTALLING SOMETHING THAT BLOWS UP A PS/2 MOUSE!"
<Knives-> And then they'll blame the phone company.
<Knives-> And I'll say FUCK IT.
<Knives-> And wait until it fixes itself.
<Knives-> There - saved my self the bother and money of calling those pricks.
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Quote: 944652; Rating: 345; [+|-]
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<Gibby> let me get this straight
<Gibby> you got drunk with, then fucked the (maybe) underage daughter of a sheriff, then stole her clothes and went home a crossdresser?
<Sayomi> yep
<Gibby> that's all kinds of awesome
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Quote: 525423; Rating: 1327; [+|-]
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<uZi`> i got a photographic memory
<uZi`> :/
<Grimmeehh> cool
<Grimmeehh> porn on demand
<uZi`> mainly for numbers tho
<Grimmeehh> o
<uZi`> only ascii porn
<uZi`> :(
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Quote: 7119; Rating: 640; [+|-]
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<Philly_B> <--------->
<Philly_B> hmm...
<Philly_B> the set of all real numbers
(*michael) The set of all real numbers, now only $99.99! Order now and get a complimentary imaginary number commemorative plate free with your order.
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Quote: 56419; Rating: 96; [+|-]
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onlyihavehandle: im like jesus
onlyihavehandle: but more cool and less popular
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Quote: 10714; Rating: 128; [+|-]
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<Joe_> <DarkVeng> if you wanna just be a yesman, there are thousands of jobs in corporate amercia that have better hours and better pay for less work <-- where are they?
<Technogeek> Enron.
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Quote: 7623; Rating: 206; [+|-]
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<Beesta> it's clearly time to go home
<Beesta> I just wrote "getCumming" insted of "getCommunications"
<Beesta> *shudder*
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Quote: 5611; Rating: 529; [+|-]
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<+straylight> Limp Bizket stole their music from black people... but black people were going to throw it away anyway.
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Quote: 1729; Rating: 824; [+|-]
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<blinkchik> can i become a bot and how??
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