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Quote: 6885; Rating: 332; [+|-]
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<rick_rizzy> dude how's this for a horror story
<rick_rizzy> i just ate a hershey's kiss
<rick_rizzy> but sort of half choked on it
<rick_rizzy> some of it got caught in my throat
<rick_rizzy> so i was all snorting and trying to cough it up
<rick_rizzy> and now it's all up in my upper throat and nasal passage
<rick_rizzy> I'M IN HELL
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Quote: 8371; Rating: 181; [+|-]
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<Jin|ForSale> I HAVE NO USE FOR MONEY
<Jin|ForSale> (unless it is a lot)
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Quote: 373955; Rating: 518; [+|-]
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arabella: you don't wear thongs bcuase they're comfy, you wear thongs becuase your boy likes them.
arabella: it's advertising.
firewalk: in some cases, false advertising.
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Quote: 85402; Rating: 207; [+|-]
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<enid> laz. sounds like you just need to get sex.
<enid> hold on, i'll scan my tits for you.
<^Laz> yeah... theres been a serious lack of that lately for me
<^Laz> lately being the last 20 years
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Quote: 826358; Rating: 2229; [+|-]
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<Hef> correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't holy water just water that has a prayer said over it?
<Tribolthree> holy water is water blessed by a priest, nothing special or added -_- technically he could bless the water coming from a pipe
<Tribolthree> so like you could have a fountain of holy water
<Hef> the priest would probably get tired of the constant blessing
<Hef> and run out of mana
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Quote: 153494; Rating: 343; [+|-]
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<_Godless_> other night, was fucking hella drunk
<_Godless_> next day I'm thirsty and I see a cup and I'm thinking alright. I got that before I went to bed last night. Water on
<_Godless_> well the first sip tasted funny, like it was watered down really bitter beer
<_Godless_> then the second time I started thinking wtf, did I drop a fucking tylenol in it when I was hungover in the morning
<_Godless_> well I finaly decide to get up and change the water .. that's when I notice the nice yellow hue
<ravnus> rofl
<_Godless_> I just hope it was mine >_<
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Quote: 18274; Rating: 710; [+|-]
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<Storm> Ah shit theres a fire in the dorms
<Storm> Guess I should leave, brb
<Zekk> Hhmm.... that sucks
<Storm> Whew, it got put out
<Zekk> Everything OK?
<Storm> Yea, we are thinking about starting another one to get all the chicks out there in their underwear again =P
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Quote: 21851; Rating: 67; [+|-]
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<JDonne> yeah... i remember when i was a teenager, .268193 years ago
<chikster> ur 18.268194 I assume
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Quote: 786376; Rating: 641; [+|-]
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tedivm: bush is having a colonoscopy on saturday so cheney is president for the day
menzoberranzan31: they are looking for his head
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Quote: 105735; Rating: 97; [+|-]
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<mironixima> hello
<mironixima> any redhat 9 users in here?
<SKaReCRoW> let's hope not
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Quote: 89678; Rating: 112; |
<magaggie> fucking isp.
<SorcererX> is the isp good at it?
<magaggie> no, it's horrible
<magaggie> it only lasts four hours
<magaggie> though, it does rebound quickly... usually...
<SorcererX> and then you're at it again.. for a whole 4 hours?
<magaggie> yes.
<magaggie> i have good stamina
<magaggie> sometimes i'm at it for 18, 20 hours...
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Quote: 80965; Rating: 273; [+|-]
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<mog> 4/f/kali, ne1 wanna cybar? omglol moms home brb
<mog> er...
<mog> that was supposed to be 14
<mog> either way
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Quote: 106414; Rating: 40; [+|-]
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<`jon`> oh god this is a joke
<`jon`> 'jon-' is taken :/
<`jon`> /whotheFUCKis jon-
<`jon`> oh shit
-:- Jon- [[email protected]] has joined #doomroom
<`jon`> its me
<Jon-> heh
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Quote: 22978; Rating: 258; [+|-]
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<saunafrend>: you know, next time we're in a building thats burning down, and someone screams "GOD PLEASE HELP US!! IF WE HAD A SMARTMEDIA READER WE'D ALL BE SAVED!!" you won't think it was such a waste of money anymore, and i'll laugh as you burn.
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Quote: 71897; Rating: 296; [+|-]
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* iMac therefore iSuck *
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Quote: 1153; Rating: 745; |
(Mutiny) I'm talking to my mom online and she just said "i could use a good vibrator. i know you dont want to hear that but a woman has needs"
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Quote: 315336; Rating: 185; [+|-]
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Dave: I support R. Kelly. I saw the video, and that bitch wanted it. The theory is, if the girl is walking in the mall without her parents.. like alone or just with friends... then she's ready to get some dick.
Banderon: Dave, look! Those 12 year olds don't have a parent with them! Go! Go!
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Quote: 935407; Rating: -178; [+|-]
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<dipstick> I see uranus
<DoubleDragonIII> they discovered a new planet, its so huge that earth seems as small as a golf ball
<DoubleDragonIII> its called urmom
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Quote: 525436; Rating: -206; [+|-]
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* Quits: Indonesia (Ezcess Flood)
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Quote: 52716; Rating: 348; [+|-]
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<@Max> this ball spinning crap is crazy
<@Max> this guy would be popular at a rave :P
<@Alice`> Anyone at a rave would be popular
<@Alice`> "HOLY SHIT THAT GUY HAS TWO LEGS OMFG WTF LOOOOL BONG 420"
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Quote: 734472; Rating: 1032; [+|-]
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<SpuD|work> augh, I hate MS Office and people's expectation that "IT'S PART OF WINDOWS SO I WANT IT FREE!"
<SpuD|work> for starters, IT'S NOT PART OF WINDOWS, also, IT'S NOT FREE, and it's not even cheap, and NO IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOUR MATE PIRATED IT FOR YOU LAST TIME AND YOUR PC DIED AND YOUR MUM GOT SCARED AND SAID YOU'RE MOVING WITH YOUR AUNTIE AND YOUR UNCLE IN BEL-AIR
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Quote: 17176; Rating: 1342; [+|-]
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<AJK> puff da magic hard drive lived near drive B: sorta near the power sply in a tower owned by me
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Quote: 100937; Rating: 528; [+|-]
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<fabutron> so we were at sonic the other day (which is a drive up restraunt like in the fifties, for those of you that don't have sonic) and we made a joke about punching the waitress in the uterus and over the little drive up radio the guy was like "we can still hear you"
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Quote: 189795; Rating: 350; [+|-]
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* Malik_Ishtar begins to get impotent
<Malik_Ishtar> :O
<Malik_Ishtar> impatient
* Malik_Ishtar dies
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Quote: 34644; Rating: 13; |
<jay123> i only do fat chicks , their chunky but their funky
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Quote: 32552; Rating: 194; [+|-]
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[00:55] <enntee> i'm about to go to seven eleven and i'm gonna hit
on the clerk
[00:55] <enntee> even if she looks like ass
[01:00] <enntee> off i go
[01:11] <enntee> damn. she was too ugly.
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Quote: 80004; Rating: 636; [+|-]
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(MrPino) how do i make a mass messager? that will message everyone in a channel
that i highlight, and then i can input what i want the message to be
@(Splodge`) That's called spam
(MrPino) i know, but i'
(MrPino) i'm not using it for spam, i'm using it for e-business
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Quote: 138259; Rating: -160; [+|-]
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PythagorusBAN: I think every "bottom" quote on bash has the word 'nigger'
PythagorusBAN: I didn't know there were that many niggers on the internet to begin with
Boozmation: you come across them everyonce in a while.. usually at dating websites
PythagorusBAN: or porn sites
Boozmation: oh yea
PythagorusBAN: or the National Geographic webiste
Boozmation: well then its not even a contest
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Quote: 18757; Rating: 96; [+|-]
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<Ice_raven> um has anyone tried BearShare
<slash> it sounded a bit too faggotilicious for me
<Ice_raven> it is
<slash> okay, that's good.
<slash> no false advertising there!
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Quote: 81967; Rating: 1227; |
<mcgruff> ever notice, that like half the quotes on bash seem to be plucked out of conversations specifically designed to produce quotes to submit to bash?
<cliff> i LOVE the cock
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Quote: 16518; Rating: 191; [+|-]
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<davester> alright, in a month when i'm building this computer, everything will have changed, so i'm not going to bother now
<davester> they'll have gforce9's and p5's and terrabit hdd's
<davester> all for cheap
<Deathblend> and 256bit athlons
<davester> word
<davester> WORD
<Deathblend> you mean dword
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Quote: 11255; Rating: 268; [+|-]
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<ducks> I was looking through someone's eBay auctions
<ducks> and this is what I see listed
<ducks> * GIRL SCOUT COOKIES THIN MINTS ORDER NOW!! *
<ducks> HAND PAINTED FLOWER POT VASE PICTURE FRAME
<ducks> SET OF 6 AMBER SUNFLOWER SALAD / FRUIT BOWLS
<ducks> THE CUTEST LITTLE ANGEL RAG DOLL
<ducks> STRIPPER VHS MOVIE
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Quote: 348450; Rating: 2804; [+|-]
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OnlineHost: Sheila41428 has entered the room.
d00d903: hi there sheila! 17/m/tx wanna cyber?
Sheila41428: sure
d00d903: asl
Sheila41428: 48/f/tx
d00d903: the hell? mom?
Sheila41428: OH JESUS FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!
OnlineHost: Sheila41328 has left the room.
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Quote: 648; Rating: 1127; [+|-]
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<snerfu> I would say the worst feeling is waking up after a night of drunken stupor and in the process of walking to your computer all you see is a pine session that says: your email "im drunk" has been sent.
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Quote: 830747; Rating: 9642; [+|-]
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<Montana> yeh but chinese for dinner.. Peking Dick FTW
<Dauntless> ... LOL
<Montana> omg here we go
<Dauntless> Can you say bash.org?
<Montana> why? so it can join the other 1 million quotes of random people saying 'i love wang.. oops typo, i meant computers.
<Montana> Screw this
<Montana> If i'm getting quoted I'm getting my moneys worth:
<Montana> MONTY PRESENTS THE ULTIMATE QUOTE
<Montana> OMFG my naked sister just ran into my room and before I could sex her she set fire/other means of destruction to my room but because Im a total geek it doesnt occur to me to get of irc and fix it.
<Montana> I instead enter a conversation on computers: OMG MY COMPUTER HAS GOT A VIRUS! OH WAIT NO, ITS WINDOWS/LINUX/MAC/NORTON/AOL. Now for the obligatory Windows ME insult where the name of the product is mistaken for a pronoun for myself:
<Montana> ME SO GAY! WHOOPS IT LOOKS LIKE THE INTENDED PURPOSE OF THAT STATEMENT WAS TO HIGHLIGHT MY OWN HOMOSEXUALITY WHEREAS I MEANT IT TO BE THE HOMOSEXUALITY OF THE OPERATING SYSTEM! HOW EMBARASSING!
<Montana> Now for the topic of sex:
<Montana> I HAVE A GF.. AND BY GF I OF COURSE MEAN A GFORCE 20MB 3.45 SYSTEM RETRO POWER MAX SUPERMAN RAPING COMPUTER STICK!
<Montana> Furthermore, I make a comment as to the worth of sex but comment of my lack of sexual activity.
<Montana> Hmm
<Montana> I'm forgetting the most impostant part! The lack of social interaction!
<Montana> OMG I just opened my blinds and the sunlight burnt and I saw this guy with a swollen chest and I was like WTF and my dad says 'thats called a girl' im like WTF IS A GIRL then i went and downloaded 50GB of porn.
<Montana> </end rant>
<Montana> Anyways, as I said before.. dinner.. brb
<Dauntless> o_o
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Quote: 8466; Rating: 160; [+|-]
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<helminthes> hey i had a vision today of some fat old man with a dog sitting on campus and he goes, "hey, pet my dog" and i say, "heh no thanks i gotta go to class." "but the dog's cute, look at him." "no man, see ya" "DOG HATER!!! DOG HATER!! HE JUST HIT MY DOG IN THE FACE" {i run away}
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Quote: 737263; Rating: 1038; [+|-]
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<Zenji> My brother who hasnt talked to my Dad in like a year or so got a chick pregnant.
<Zenji> He notified my Dad by sending him a "Worlds Number 1 Grandfather" card.
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Quote: 452197; Rating: 1091; [+|-]
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<karl> where is everyone?
<Kayote_G> Well I'm trying to explain to my (now ex) girlfriend why I own a porn site.
<Kayote_G> :'(
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Quote: 74090; Rating: 370; [+|-]
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<Schatten|DRUNK> I think 'strong' describes the Akira soundtrack best.
<ignatios> or "Japanese"
<Schatten|DRUNK> shut up
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Quote: 4847; Rating: 290; [+|-]
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<Gersh> wow
<Gersh> I rule
<Gersh> I made one of my ex's cry over aim
<Gersh> dammit I wish she had a webcam
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Quote: 6068; Rating: 2179; [+|-]
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<GaeMan> Chia: Be nice to CAgurl today.
<chirpet> I am always nice to CAgurl. I resent the implication.
<chirpet> I am nice to everyone.
<chirpet> Always.
<chirpet> So shut up.
<chirpet> pigfucker.
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Quote: 50095; Rating: 79; [+|-]
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<Seteh> man... we've been together over 2 years now :)
<raeccratf> ask her to marry you, then you can have a night of great fun!
<raeccratf> but regret it in the morning :/
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Quote: 1583; Rating: 331; [+|-]
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<no_soul> did you know the testes on blue whales weigh like 400 pounds?
<no_soul> thats a hefty sack
<ecoli> my god.
<no_soul> just a little fun fact for you all
<ecoli> them is some big nuts
<ecoli> did you know that the blue whale's penis is 11 feet long?
<no_soul> i bet the shoot loads like a fuckin cruise missle
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Quote: 15603; Rating: 103; |
*** treker has joined #ircop
<treker> what is this channel for?
<_zenon> sex channel treker
<treker> AH, I see...
<treker> well then by all means, go ahead, have fun...i'll just go run some errands.
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Quote: 58852; Rating: 210; [+|-]
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<Donut[4]> DEFRAG TIME
<_ry0suke_> deFAG
* Donut[4] has quit IRC (Quit: DEFRAG IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN EVERYONE)
* Donut has joined #walktheplank
<Donut> HEY WAIT
<Donut> F U =(
* Donut has quit IRC (Quit: )
<_ry0suke_> :(
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Quote: 625149; Rating: 1715; [+|-]
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<[Midgard]Reynard[50DRG]> a friend of mine once commented that huamns are the only species to go out of our way to obtain milk after we've been weaned, I replied that we were the only species with cookies
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Quote: 8822; Rating: 126; [+|-]
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<bytraper> im like midas... everything I touch turns to shit
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Quote: 737114; Rating: 235; [+|-]
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<JeighEighm> Tauren, why don't you just sniff the packets and find out?
<Tauren> how do i DO THAT?
<Tauren> how do I sniff packets
<JeighEighm> Tauren, okay. It's easy. Get your network cable.
<Tauren> How do I sniff?
<JeighEighm> Hold it to your nose.
<JeighEighm> Inhale.
<JeighEighm> Smell those packets.
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Quote: 45254; Rating: 820; [+|-]
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<Shirley> it was my girlfriends birthday, and i stayed at her place, and i put fudge in the toilet early in the morning, so when we woke up, i went to the toilet and she was getting ready to get in the shower
<Shirley> and when she looked at me, i reached into the toilet and grabbed a handful of what she thought was poop
<Shirley> and threw it at her
<Shirley> and screamed "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BITCH!"
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Quote: 8628; Rating: 96; [+|-]
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<FactsOfLife> wasn't linux a peanuts character?
<FactsOfLife> yeah linux, the kid who carried a blankie to keep the bad guys away...
<FactsOfLife> yeah yeah, linux, short kid, charlie brown's friend...
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