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Quote: 3621; Rating: 231; [+|-]
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<djcrom> its so hard to create a build in an electro song without any percussion
<noj> no it isn't
<noj> you puss
<djcrom> ok let me rephrase
<djcrom> its so hard to create a build in an electro song without any percussion and make it not sound gay
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Quote: 36098; Rating: 742; [+|-]
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(backslash) Wow, the introduction to this chapter in the driving book we got today is. . . well, reassuring.
(backslash) 'Finally, the keys and the car... our dream has come true! You climb in behind the wheel, the engine starts and purrs. Wow! Shift into gear and you're off.
(backslash) The sky darkens, rain starts to fall... Where is that wiper switch? Oops, not that one. Oh! There is it! And now, the headlights.
(backslash) What does that bright blue light mean? Why is that oncoming car flashing high beams? My gosh... the car in front is braking... Your vehicle is sliding!! Your heart is pounding! Now what?!'
(zztzed) "If you slam on the brakes and go hydroplaning into the rear end of the car in front of you, turn to page 36."
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Quote: 447190; Rating: 1122; [+|-]
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<f|ywork> 1 of our students has got himself in a spot of bother. He booked out a dv cam and a firewire hard drive from the helpdesk, then videoed some chick giving him head and forgot to delete it from the hd when he returned it
<TBBwork> do u have a copy of this video?
<f|ywork> it's rendering in premiere as we speak
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Quote: 185; Rating: 381; [+|-]
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<Guilty> You dont want fatchicks on your pns
<Guilty> Let alone your primary pns
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Quote: 50; Rating: 2; [+|-]
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<tay> oops I did it again... I klined your bot... and then smoked some pot.. oh baby baby..
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Quote: 16886; Rating: 122; [+|-]
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<Jon_R> OH NO
<Jon_R> my page crashes netscape!
<Jon_R> whatever shall I do
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Quote: 97834; Rating: 277; [+|-]
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<N1Hawk> hydro` is trying to find a good copy on kazza
<hydro`> yea
<hydro`> thats like finding a hooker who hasnt been fucked
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Quote: 5603; Rating: 563; [+|-]
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<Khamosis> Man
<Khamosis> this is so awesome
<Khamosis> I'm playing Nethack right after I installed my GF4
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Quote: 49953; Rating: 142; [+|-]
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<ljtyk> damn school
<SoulBladeKai> it suX0rs
<ljtyk> i'm gonna be so happy when i graduation
<SoulBladeKai> uhh...that's an IF not a WHEN
<ljtyk> fuck u l33t boy
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Quote: 571740; Rating: 2379; [+|-]
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DerANgeD: not cool! ctrl+w closes firefox
DerANgeD: I was trying to press shift+w and accidentally hit my ctrl button
Triumph: whats shift+w?
DerANgeD: a capital W dumbass
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Quote: 374061; Rating: 357; [+|-]
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<mojo1701> I remember being in class, and the teacher started talking to us about communicable diseases
<mojo1701> our teacher's a real whore
<mojo1701> and she kept on saying to us: "Flies can carry diseases. You don't know where they've been"
<mojo1701> and I looked at her and said, "Then you should stop unzipping so many of them if you don't know where they've been."
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Quote: 49438; Rating: 180; [+|-]
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<Rogue> lol @ my dads message just sent to me
<Rogue> "Press down if you think your gay"
<Rogue> i pressed down
<Rogue> "You fucking faggot"
<Rogue> he is an asshole
* Rogue slaps his dad
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Quote: 656603; Rating: 296; [+|-]
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<Nick> how come everytime I see the phrase "Future-Proof" I read it as "yesterday's obsolescent"
<Lanei> because you posess sufficient quantities of the cynicism necessary for survival
<Force10> Man, if cynicism is all you need to survive, I'm gonna live to be 150.
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Quote: 63049; Rating: 224; [+|-]
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* moktod attempts to disapear from work, like a fart in the wind
<moktod> fuck, i think they smelled me, my boss is coming over
<moktod> brb
* moktod hides under desk
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Quote: 1263; Rating: 303; [+|-]
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<Toll> well lets see. moses was supposed to have lived some 800 years... and had a number of wives... could it be that he died at 75 but looked 800 after haveing lived with more then one
<CBA> Those were dog years.
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Quote: 2728; Rating: 195; [+|-]
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<neutrl> i don't have any tables
<mAimZ> da wheels 'o steel...
<mAimZ> you should get some... And get all your favorite tunes on LP... It's more fun than 4 hookers and a jimmy hat!
<hypr> i highly doubt that
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Quote: 76894; Rating: 1473; [+|-]
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<DoctorRiff> well anyway, this drill sarge gets everyone lined up, and starts yelling at all the recruits, like how they do
<DoctorRiff> and he was over to the left of the line, when someone way off in the right yells "GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH!"
<DoctorRiff> and the drill sarge yells "WHO SAID THAT?!" and goes over and starts yelling at the right of the line
<DoctorRiff> then someone at the left of the line says "PATRICK HENRY YOU FOOL!"
<DoctorRiff> according to my dad's friend, it was worth all the extra jogging and military-type training they had to do
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Quote: 73191; Rating: 471; [+|-]
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<xoiprocs> it all started when my mother took my bike away cuz i murdered my guinei pig and stuck him in the microwave
<obi`> haha
<obi`> i put my dog in the microwave once
<obi`> but i didn't press the button
<obi`> i just wanted to see if he would fit
<obi`> ...just in case
<xoiprocs> ok..
<obi`> you're the one that killed your guinea pig
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Quote: 55872; Rating: 28; [+|-]
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<[N]> if a chick just comes over gives u head and leaves
<[N]> it just rules
<[N]> for lazy ppl
<[N]> u could even irc while getting the job done
<WTM2K> would that be like road head?
<[N]> hahah
<WTM2K> irc head... geek version of road head
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Quote: 638549; Rating: 1844; [+|-]
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Omniscient Sean: I think we should terrorist start throwing in nuclear weapon noteworthy national security keywords to Allah otherwise innocuous conversations.
InfiniteSuperior: I Bin Laden agree.
Omniscient Sean: So how are Al Qaeda classes?
InfiniteSuperior: I have Al Sadr a psychology report Iran due Wednesday.
Omniscient Sean: Ah, that Tehran sucks.
Omniscient Sean: This bizarre Sadaam open-source database utility has all the Palestine trappings of other open-source utilities.
Omniscient Sean: In this WMD case, useless error messages.
InfiniteSuperior: Other than Pakistan that, classes are Libby going well.
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Quote: 52398; Rating: 323; [+|-]
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<chintss> how do i configure ftp http and telnet in RH 8.0
<chintss> plzzzzz
<tictac> chintss: rtfm
<chintss> tictac : rtfm: command not found
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Quote: 39108; Rating: 555; [+|-]
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<Satan> I need.
<Satan> A fucking optical mouse.
<Satan> So I don't have to deal with dirty balls anymore.
<Satan> .. Er, yeah.
<rapty> X_X
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Quote: 23467; Rating: 255; [+|-]
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<@mazrimt> the guy seemed kinda decent
<@mazrimt> compared to the normal people who ask for warez ;)
<@mazrimt> irc has lowered my standards of 'decent' quite a bit
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Quote: 17346; Rating: 117; [+|-]
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<harb> I'm good at designing things, usually.
<harb> Implemting is another matter. :|
<harb> Implementing. blah.
<homeslice> Spelling also poses a problem.
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Quote: 29025; Rating: 355; [+|-]
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<Ed> Why is there so much fat porn lately? Someone needs to be shot.
<Rivorus> what the hell is wrong with fat porn?
<Toad> Yeah, I'm sure they all have great personalities.
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Quote: 45104; Rating: 775; [+|-]
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<The-Pretender> I'm passing judgement on FF8 because I dont like the fucking eye candy. Too many damn graphics
<Golbez> too .. many .. damn .. graphics .. ?"
<Golbez> what the fuck do you want, pong?
<Golbez> "Fight! White Paddle hits Red Paddle for 4 HP!"
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Quote: 11085; Rating: 379; [+|-]
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<MissTika> how have you been?
<Sage> Good, good. And you?
<MissTika> oksy I guess, had a falling out with two of my " best" friends but other then that heh
<Ne0_Rat> Tika has been arguing with her boobs again.
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Quote: 269152; Rating: 661; [+|-]
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scykon: nope. no matter what you build with lego, if i build the same with
duplo its guranteed to be bigger, and therefore better than yours
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Quote: 4201; Rating: 11; [+|-]
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<blazemore> i like to wear crotchless chaps
<blazemore> so my lele can feel the breeze in sand storms
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Quote: 50954; Rating: 718; [+|-]
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tom: guys
tom: youb willb neverb elieveb this
tom: butb myb spaceb keyb keeps bputtingb ab spaceb andb then bab
tom: ab b
tom: whatb theb fuck
Cube: rofl
Cube: thta's really funny
tom: MAKEB ITB FUCKINGB STOP
tom: ohb heyb I bfoundb theb problem
tom: there bisb something bbetweenb theb bandb spaceb keys
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Quote: 449150; Rating: 343; [+|-]
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[remROM] hmmmm, a pretty girl once sat next to me in the computer room then sneezed.
[remROM] I said "gbless you" and she said "thanks". Then she sneezed again and I blessed her. THen she blew her nose. Then sneezed again. Then a guy came by and she left with him. Then 2 days later i had the flu.
[remROM] I guess i could brag that she gave me a disease.
[remROM] and oraly transmitted disease at that.
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Quote: 256669; Rating: 390; [+|-]
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<astaroth> the other minor annoyance with this laptop is that the IRDa port keep changing the channel on the TV
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Quote: 398205; Rating: 1358; [+|-]
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Eric: make me
Jon: your parents already made that mistake ;)
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Quote: 6198; Rating: 9; [+|-]
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<signine:#916> is that the one with the old people that have huge mouths that blow people the fuck up?
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Quote: 17981; Rating: 86; [+|-]
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<Phix> 70lbs of plutonium fell into san francisco bay off some ship or something
<Phix> did it cause any freak deformities?
<Phix> well it is San Francisco
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Quote: 48958; Rating: 171; [+|-]
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<notklister> what kind of people make computer programs?
<klister> programmers
<notklister> alright
<notklister> I think thats what Im going to tech school for
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Quote: 665792; Rating: 140; [+|-]
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<djbjrca> Loonietoon: what OS are you on
<Loonietoon> im not on os
<Loonietoon> isnt that mac
<Loonietoon> im windows
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Quote: 2201; Rating: 281; [+|-]
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<Guilty> I see, your ignorance expands far beyond ATI video cards
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Quote: 76194; Rating: 111; [+|-]
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<|ReBeL|> notice how fake rip off sellers always have a nic that has something to do with what they are trying to "sell"?
* Resident0 is now known as HotBooty
<HotBooty> i dont know what you mean...
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Quote: 308953; Rating: 1655; [+|-]
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<Trust> How fast is a 486?
<Archon> dude, a 486 is 486mhz
<Archon> thats why its called a 486 you dumb fucking newb
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Quote: 100570; Rating: 1203; [+|-]
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* ConstipatedElderlyMan bleeds internally and dies, another silent victim of constipation
<gothik> shit happens
<Adam^> not for him.
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Quote: 3105; Rating: 83; [+|-]
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<NinjaRyu> I remember in sex ed in the 10th grade someone actually asked whether the "pull-out" method was effective birth control
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Quote: 15550; Rating: 304; [+|-]
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<\broken> eye kant teyep
<JackArse> sure you can
<JackArse> you just can't spell
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Quote: 2324; Rating: 215; [+|-]
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<trccccc> damn I have eaten enough salsa to kill a small ethiopian town
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Quote: 79; Rating: 1154; [+|-]
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<SYch0> [^_^
<blazemore> cellphones will give you cancer
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Quote: 403378; Rating: 509; [+|-]
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<Darkening> something doesn't feel right on my system now i just upgraded my nivida drivers
<Borgs8472> do you sense a disturbance in the force?
<Borgs8472> "theses aren't the driver's you're looking for"
<Darkening> ^geek
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Quote: 43670; Rating: 166; [+|-]
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<kylev> i was tryin to fix this computer
<kylev> the power supply fan was buzzin funny, and it wouldent post
<kylev> so i said somethins busted, and the computer is shot, and he got pissed, punched it and now it works fine
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Quote: 19883; Rating: 326; [+|-]
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<@hypnotix> dammit this sucks.. i got Daikatana for my b-day
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Quote: 81778; Rating: 369; [+|-]
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<Renzian> ahh i just swallowed a quarter
<ChrisAFK[motfR3]> ...
<ChrisAFK[motfR3]> You swallowed a coin?
<Aspect> You only have to be worried if you shit out two dimes and a nickel.
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Quote: 107354; Rating: 312; [+|-]
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<nylint> a pedophile and a little girl were walking into the woods
<nylint> and the little girl said 'these woods are scary at night, mister'
<nylint> and the pedophile said 'you're scared? i have to walk back alone!'
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