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Quote: 2025; Rating: 309; [+|-]
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(synak) have you ever had to take a shit so bad, but you didnt want to leave irc that you just ended up shittign your pants? .. well, i just did .. computers are cool.
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Quote: 7133; Rating: 347; [+|-]
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<Rasputin> eiiiiidle eidle eee
<Rasputin> eiiiidle eidle eee
<Rasputin> we won't be leavin' til we get some pus-sy sooooooo
<CrashCat> i'm not complainin' but shut up or I'll beat your brain in
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Quote: 5836; Rating: 392; [+|-]
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<PhantomOfTheRouter> never got another call from them till they bought a new accounting package that needed Win95
<PhantomOfTheRouter> and Novell for the servers..
<PhantomOfTheRouter> went in to upgrade the machines..
<PhantomOfTheRouter> moved the first 2 workgroup servers to Novell 4.11
<PhantomOfTheRouter> couldn't find the third
<PhantomOfTheRouter> asked them where they moved it to...
<PhantomOfTheRouter> umm, moved ?
<PhantomOfTheRouter> yeah, where did you move WKG3SRV to ?
<PhantomOfTheRouter> ummm...
<PhantomOfTheRouter> we didn't change anything
<PhantomOfTheRouter> You had to have moved it when you remodelled the office! The wiring closet in the hall is gone...
<PhantomOfTheRouter> oh shit!
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Quote: 34331; Rating: 13; [+|-]
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<@sTubby> I'm holding the SL45 right now
<@PuffinFreshWog> i am holding a sl45 too
<NiffTuRNaL> Im holding a PS2 control
<@sTubby> I'm holding my dick
<@sTubby> and 2 phones, and typing...
<@sTubby> now THAT'S talent
<@PuffinFreshWog> thats a lot of hands
<@sTubby> nah, just 3
<@PuffinFreshWog> call the phones, if they are in the same hand as the dick
<@sTubby> that'd be strangely entertaining
<@PuffinFreshWog> i can't do that type of thing, my cocks needs the full atention of both hands coz it is so huge
<@PuffinFreshWog> lol
<@sTubby> 1 hand to rub and 1 hand to watch?
<@sTubby> "backup"?
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Quote: 57017; Rating: 99; [+|-]
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Legion Kreinak: The world's so fuckin' politically correct these days. Before you know it, we'll be required to call black & white cookies african american & caucasian cookies!
Dragon Phoenix: I could just see that on crayons...
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Quote: 441; Rating: 512; [+|-]
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<syrup> i need to leech while i sleep
<syrup> otherwise i don't sleep well
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Quote: 3282; Rating: 48; [+|-]
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<ChAoS_zZz> FTP UP @ XX.XX.XX.XX port XXXX xxxx/xxxx 60k Cap If u dont get in its full. Hammer me and Ill fuckin Whack ya. Dont try and leech the whole site. Ill rape your mom, then your sister. WIth your mom's torn off arm. Think thats harsh? U should see some of the assholes logging on.
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Quote: 11593; Rating: 240; [+|-]
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<Fireklar> Anyone know what could cause a monitor to dim like that besides impending death?
<mig|flurry> fireklar: impending death.
<slurpee> impending death of your eyesight
<mig|flurry> fireklar: capacitors pretending to be resistors.
<Fireklar> DAMN YOU CAPACITORS
<Fireklar> I hate those bastards
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Quote: 75837; Rating: 353; [+|-]
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<@|Holo|> one of my cats got me banned from warezguild once, sat on the keyboard and spammed
<@|Holo|> sat on the numpad
<@|Holo|> so it was all like
<@|Holo|> 0
<@|Holo|> 6454
<@|Holo|> +65
<@|Holo|> ++52213
<+solbaid`> should've just told all the nerds "sorry, i was getting pussy"
<+solbaid`> they'd have worshipped you
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Quote: 22733; Rating: 298; [+|-]
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McPhile: Planet Earth is God's shitty, exploitative reality show.
McPhile: I can just see him up there with Michael and Gabriel, bag of microwave popcorn in his lap, watching. "Whoa! Did you see THAT? I didn't even know I built them to do that."
ecstaticsurfacer: Hell yes. I've been saying for years that my life is God's favourite soap opera.
McPhile : Well, there's probably not enough sex in your life for it to be His favorite.
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Quote: 200545; Rating: 471; [+|-]
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* edude84 ([email protected]) has joined #Help
<edude84> dude
<edude84> are there cheats for IRC?
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Quote: 5519; Rating: 427; [+|-]
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<scoob-e> i got in a fight with the lady at CVS cuz she wouldnt develop the picture of my cock
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Quote: 14336; Rating: 229; [+|-]
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[HyperKinetic] They ate each other, they moaned. They were zombies
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Quote: 21825; Rating: 273; [+|-]
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<arabella> when i was about 20, old enough not to be, i got sent away from the table to my room for saying, "So today in lab we put dog testes in the blender and then," and that's as far as i got.
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Quote: 182213; Rating: 2639; [+|-]
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<Ephialtes> ugh
<Ephialtes> I.
<Ephialtes> Am.
<Ephialtes> Wet.
<Ephialtes> infact I am BEYOND wet
<Ephialtes> I am soaked
<Ephialtes> no wait, I am beyond soaked
<Ephialtes> I am drenched
<Ephialtes> and I may be beyond that
*** Ephialtes has been kicked off channel #ev3 by zambezi (flood)
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Quote: 84271; Rating: 175; [+|-]
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<NiN> fuck
<NiN> you fag
<NiN> i should sodomize you
<Lily> Nah.
<NiN> lol dude i got some girl mad
<NiN> she told me who her bf was..she asked you know him? i said yeah i dated him...rofl
<Lily> LOL
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Quote: 848; Rating: 22; [+|-]
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<ck3k> i wonder how people with parkingson's disease wipe their ass
<ck3k> that must be a fucking trial
<ck3k> i bet muhammed ali has a whole staff hired just to do that
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Quote: 4816; Rating: 425; [+|-]
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<kanin> if (User->HasAppropriateBook()) { while (User->LacksClue()) { User->ReadAppropriateBook(); } }
else { while(User->HasNotGottenAppripriateBook()) {User->StumbleAroundHalfAssedInTheDark(); User->WhineOnIRC(); } }
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Quote: 38516; Rating: 136; [+|-]
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<strego> sweet the hot girl just came to visit
<strego> and I was all like "hey, baby! I've got Pez" and she was all like "Aw Yeah"
<kingBooze> so did you guys do it?
<strego> well she "ate my Pez", if you know what I mean
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Quote: 13121; Rating: 6; [+|-]
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<i_am_pi> (pvah) i wonder how funny airport security would think it would be if you walked into an airport with a cardboard box that said "BOMB" on it
<i_am_pi> i love QDB./
<i_am_pi> www.geekissues.org/quotes/
<pedXing> i_am_pi: I believe it's a 2 year minimum sentence, but I'm sure they'd be laughing.
<Kthulu> i doubt they'd find it funny
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Quote: 105279; Rating: 179; [+|-]
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< chris> Meanwhile, I am participating in all that is unholy and rightly hated
< chris> Namely, I am writing a Java Applet that runs in a browser and is controlled by JavaScript
<@phessler> hahaha
* chris commits hara-kiri to minimize the dishonor to his family
< chris> phessler: Yeah, but the thing is: this is way better than what I was doing before, which was Flash coding
< chris> Flash, Java and JavaScript -- all in a day's work
< chris> Incidentally, I am looking for a new job...
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Quote: 39702; Rating: 139; [+|-]
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* PuffinFreshWog munches on the contents of a huge viagra bottle
<PuffinFreshWog> guess what
<HyperHorse> what?
<PuffinFreshWog> i'm not typing with my hands right now
<HyperHorse> whatwhatwhatwhat?
<PuffinFreshWog> :o)
<PuffinFreshWog> you don't want to know how i hold down shift
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Quote: 33964; Rating: 16; [+|-]
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<Cyb> where the hell is the new pokey
<Cyb> it hasn't been updated in like a while
<Cyb> sept 17
<Cyb> wait that's today
<Cyb> stupid internet explorer
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Quote: 46673; Rating: 307; [+|-]
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<bean-> penises are cute!
<carmzz> they look like little darth vaders
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Quote: 163584; Rating: 1562; [+|-]
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<AL> Two families move from Pakistan to America.
<AL> When they arrive the two fathers make a bet - in a year's time whichever family has become more American will win.
<AL> A year later they meet again:The first man says, "My son is playing baseball, I had McDonalds for breakfast and I'm on my way to pick up a case of Bud, how about you?"
<AL> The second man replies, "Fuck you, towelhead."
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Quote: 98680; Rating: 494; [+|-]
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<Radu> a friend of my dad's in Texas named his daughter Treasure Darling
<Radu> i shit you not
<Tac0> did you fuck her
<Tac0> ?
<Radu> dude, it's his newborn baby, you idiot
<Tac0> whats your point
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Quote: 5409; Rating: 190; [+|-]
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<AK[coding]> females are the anti-c0de
<AK[coding]> Right now, it's like you're high on meth.
<AK[coding]> But in a few months...
<AK[coding]> You'll be fucking and fucking and NO lines will be showing up in your poor terminal.
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Quote: 653759; Rating: 595; [+|-]
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<Ian-W> lesbian porn
<Ian-W> actually lesbian/gay porn
<Ian-W> because its like two girls that are guys
<CK-[away]> what would you call 2 hermaphrodites
<Ian-W> tetris
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Quote: 80059; Rating: 348; [+|-]
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<Rav3n> does anyone know a good irc client for mac?
<Luna> who is mac?
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Quote: 42821; Rating: 8; [+|-]
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<Denkan> ASP is like a chat-dialog with the server... in PHP you type codes
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Quote: 177850; Rating: 657; [+|-]
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<kiwi> once i skipped
<Alby_Fox> she has no idea when she'll have a period
<kiwi> my mom thought i was pregnant
<Proffessor> that's gotta be some scary shit
<kiwi> but at the time i'd never even kissed a guy =D
<Proffessor> it was the next coming of jesus.... but, nooooooo, you had to play with the coathanger
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Quote: 10012; Rating: 234; [+|-]
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<Cosmic_Bard> King-Bob: You're about as articulate as Johnny cochrane, born an epilleptic claustrophic retard, in a small room with a strobe light.
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Quote: 671126; Rating: 499; [+|-]
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<Mandi> why can't I find the picture I want
<Borgs> that's because the governement closes those sites and procecute people who download those sorts of pictures
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Quote: 201; Rating: 1324; [+|-]
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<iMike> the bible should be rewritten to more common language
<DigDug> yeah, like c++ or perl
<D1> in comic book form
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Quote: 56155; Rating: 209; [+|-]
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[54]Drekknni: I've noticed that Mario Sunshine makes me feel pretty violent. More so than GTA3 or other "violent", "adult" games, anyway. I can't stand more than 20 minutes or so of it without getting pissed off and throwing the controller.
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Quote: 43468; Rating: 204; [+|-]
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<@Porn-Star> (OS) Windows XP Home Edition (5.1 - 2600), (installed for) 40w 1d 13h 12m, (uptime) 2d 3h 50m 28s, (record) 3d 11h 6m 1s
<@Cheez> (OS) Windows XP Professional, Service Pack 1 (5.1 - 2600), (installed for) 6d 7h 2m, (uptime) 13m 2s, (record) 16h 31m 43s
<@Porn-Star> 16hrs
<@Porn-Star> tee hee
* @Cheez shrugs
<@Cheez> its only on when im using it
<@Porn-Star> scary enough, so's mine
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Quote: 1599; Rating: 898; [+|-]
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<Prae> omg
<Prae> why the fuck do people put copyright notices ont heir shit
<Prae> it takes me long time to remove it :(
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Quote: 33735; Rating: 517; [+|-]
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<Pookablu> Ron Dwight, the author of the RAR compression format, passed away a few days ago.
<ev> he was found in several same-size pieces and had to be combined to put him in the coffin
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Quote: 23209; Rating: 299; |
<Rockman> anyone can be an idiot, but it takes a special kind of stupid to match kornbix
<kornbix> proove it
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Quote: 222409; Rating: 135; [+|-]
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<VTSquire> stileproject has fucked up my sex life
<ashp> VTSquire can't get hard without pissing in his girlfriends face :(
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Quote: 7681; Rating: -7; [+|-]
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* harbor21 explains to the channel subtle cheating.. an example from my life:
once went to my boyfriends house and we had sex... and he peed on me... and then the next time he came to my house i had sex with him but wouldn't pee on him(worried about my carpet)
* harbor21 is a suble cheater
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Quote: 55128; Rating: -2; [+|-]
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<The_Atari> I also hear they're making a Back to the Future 4
<[-FcG-]aawis> he goes back in time to fix his parkinsons desease
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Quote: 17452; Rating: 254; [+|-]
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<emp|whiskey> icq??? who still uses that?
<jud_> pervs
<zapp> i do
<zapp> oops
<zapp> oh damn.
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Quote: 81131; Rating: 157; [+|-]
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<KingKirby> The US is stupid like that. Bomb somebody, give them money. Shoot somebody, give them a band-aid.
<nylint> Fuck somebody in the ass, give them a reach-around.
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Quote: 8682; Rating: 51; [+|-]
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<jamesm> what are you running on the alphas?
<MMouse> tru64 at the moment
<MMouse> with oracle
<jamesm> no wonder so many dotcoms go under
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Quote: 47106; Rating: 145; [+|-]
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<morgaSTFU> MBoffin: did you hear about the new IE hole?
<MBoffin> The one they posted the code for on BugTraq?
<Drg> i'm over the hype of the new ie hole heh.. had enough fun backdooring the girls on my msn list.. haahahahahaHAh
<morgaSTFU> eeew
<MBoffin> Drg, backdooring girls should be discussed in another channel, please
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Quote: 40482; Rating: 227; [+|-]
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<j03bl0w> I did a /ignroe *@* CHAN in one window earlier today and only just realised, it worked in every window, and i've had EVERY channel I've been in on ignore today ..
<j03bl0w> No fucking wonder I was bored
<j03bl0w> I just thought "strange, no ones talking today"
<j03bl0w> fucking hell.
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Quote: 9605; Rating: 438; [+|-]
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<SaBaS> brb. food stuck in throat
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Quote: 56714; Rating: 118; [+|-]
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<Verlaine> That Walmart commercial where they say they are giving free shopping sprees to needy kids and the lady starts to cry at the end is making me nauseous.
<Verlaine> I need someone to share in my outrage.
<kalista> you could turn off the tv
<kalista> that way you never have to see that commercial again.
<Verlaine> But then I would never know what stores not to shop at.
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Quote: 31698; Rating: 102; [+|-]
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Feyd-Rautha: So when are you getting cable anyways?
Hsu: soon
Feyd-Rautha: I can taste the broadband
Hsu: taste like victory
Feyd-Rautha: But a word of advice: don't put your lips on a live cable wire.
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