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Quote: 3027; Rating: 433; [+|-]
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<@MF_Nazi> I bet Rob wants to date a girl named Rob so he can scream his own name during sex
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Quote: 643907; Rating: 447; [+|-]
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(fG) I heard this story today at work
(fG) this guy from swindon university, did a test to find out the IQ's of Europe's countires
(fG) and the Ukraine came bottom or some shit
(fG) so Ukraine found out and called him saying like "we heard man, come visit us, we'll pay, we'll show you our inventions etc"
(fG) so he said "yeah cool"
(fG) so he got the tickets in the post, along with itineries of his week
(fG) and he went to the airport, got on the 'plane
(fG) and got off in Budapest.
(fG) Hungary.
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Quote: 6538; Rating: 510; [+|-]
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<_404notfound> Best prank ever: while your male friend is sleeping, slip a condom on him, and get one of your female friends to lie next to him until he wakes up.
<BobTheMilkman> 404: or better yet, a male friend
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Quote: 9112; Rating: 673; [+|-]
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<ManC0W> Mikado : Mitsukake is an ass pirate
<Mikado`> ManC0W: I believe so, yes.
<Mikado`> ManC0W: can he see this?
<Mikado`> ManC0W: if we prefix our sentences with our intended targets, the others can't see it, right?
<ManC0W> Mikado : I think so Brain...
<Mikado`> ManC0W: Cuz I'd really hate for Mitsukake to know how gay I think he is
<Mitsukake> Why is this room so dead all of a sudden?
<Mikado`> LOL
<Mitsukake> What?
<Mitsukake> What's so funny?
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Quote: 33681; Rating: 171; [+|-]
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RaspberryClock: The Goatse man would make a great golf caddy, don't you think?
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Quote: 11139; Rating: 251; [+|-]
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<JigglyHandle> Who's the cockless drunk running my ISP?!
<K-Ecchi> You called?
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Quote: 1950; Rating: 626; [+|-]
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<Kazz> Wait a minute... something about this is a little... odd...
<Kazz> I believe this woman has more than the recommended amount of penises.
<Brentai> My type of woman.
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Quote: 2300; Rating: 381; [+|-]
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<Monkie> I am NEVER getting involed with a girl that has a communications problem again
<Monkie> =|
<matts> she didn't know how to use her cell phone?
<Vern> lol
<notlosman> lol
<notlosman> hahahhaah
<Monkie> actaully
<Monkie> yes
<Monkie> =|
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Quote: 2858; Rating: 519; [+|-]
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* semi realises that my videocard is better then MrP-'s old computer
<MrP-> hell, i masturbate at a higher frequency than my old pc
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Quote: 192433; Rating: 871; [+|-]
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-([AfZ]Curse)- i just ripped the most putrid fart ever
-([AfZ]Curse)- and my fucking dog looked at me and walked out of my room
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Quote: 4848; Rating: 8295; [+|-]
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<ohm> damn
<ohm> FUCK
<ohm> DAMN
<ohm> i was just in an AIM convo with a chick, and my grandmother's window pops up
<ohm> FUCK
<ohm> i go like this to her
<ohm> "i want to suck on your clit"
<ohm> FUCK
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Quote: 45131; Rating: 130; |
<DarQ> Just think about it... Who would know better how to please a man ? A man or a woman ?
<Sway> damn right
<Sway> a man
<Sway> a rough and hairy man
<Sultan> Your sick, lol
<DarQ> That's not sick...
<DarQ> That's being realistic.
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Quote: 53984; Rating: 279; [+|-]
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<[Smoke]> "Every gay club in the world owns one and only one CD, a disc entitled "TRANCE-A-HOLIC TECHNO BEAT CLUB HAPPYCORE TRANCE NATION DRUMSTEP BIG BEAT DISCO REMIX FEVER." This CD has three tracks, all of which have the same four-on-the-floor rhythm that loops for roughly 100 minutes and is accompanied by a woman
moaning, "ooohhhh ahhhh oowwweeeeee!" at random intervals while a $199 Roland "DJ In a Box" synth plays up to three different minor chords"
<NrgSpoon> ph33r the Real Folk Blues chiptune
<[Smoke]> "Homosexuals love this CD; it's like turning on a porch light and watching the waves of June Bugs and moths fly in and and start making out with each other."
<NrgSpoon> damn. i think my comment got sandwiched into gay sex
<NrgSpoon> it was so young, too.
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Quote: 274517; Rating: 1002; [+|-]
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[@DAWG^] song lyrics containing the word "heart" - replace the word with "arse"
[@Chisler] hmmm, interesting idea
[@DAWG^] for example:
[@DAWG^] Celine Dion - my arse will go on
[@DAWG^] Bonnie Tyler - Total eclipse of the arse
[@DAWG^] Kylie Minogue - Hand on your arse
[@DAWG^] Deee-Lite - Groove is in the arse
[@DAWG^] Rod Stewart - You are in my arse
[@DAWG^] Britney Spears - Deep in my arse
[@Chisler] Eurythmics - there must be an angel playing with my arse
[@DAWG^] w00t ^^
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Quote: 84711; Rating: 102; [+|-]
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<@Chimerasame> pancake bukkake :9
<@Chimerasame> it's just syrup from a bunch of aunt jemima bottles
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Quote: 14102; Rating: 1044; [+|-]
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<dphead> I think my cat is sick :(
<phunqe> Why?
<dphead> It's all twitchy and stuff...
<phunqe> I'm sure it's just lagged.
<phunqe> Check its fps.
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Quote: 34891; Rating: -434; [+|-]
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<Raenne> .. I'M ON BASH.ORG?!?!?
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Quote: 46835; Rating: 274; [+|-]
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<krypt> note to self: never tell a girl she's not tight
<Bigbacon> did you?
<krypt> yeah
<krypt> i told her best friend last night
<Bigbacon> what was her responce?
<krypt> her best friend was like
<krypt> 'she wanted you to think she was a virgin' and i was like 'i never thought she was a virgin' 'she wasn't tight enough'
<krypt> then i was like
<krypt> 'she has small boobs with big nipples too'
<krypt> and her friend was like
<krypt> I DON'T NEED TO KNOW THIS STUFF
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Quote: 646783; Rating: 862; [+|-]
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<JDigital> Religion in Northern Ireland actually has only very little to do with religion
<bee> is it more like stamp collecting
<Divine> Yes, except there are only two different stamps. And they want to kill each other.
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Quote: 46986; Rating: 409; [+|-]
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<+jadedragon> so are any of you boys going to talk to me?
<@neotek> do you have nude pics?
<+jadedragon> nope
<@neotek> then probably not.
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Quote: 82125; Rating: -11; [+|-]
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[ Melo-D ] If ur a girl you get to be a bitch once a month
[ @Che ] Just once?
[ @Alison119 ] hmm like we really want that :P
[ @Che ] I think almost all the girls I've met are bitchy all the time =p
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Quote: 1256; Rating: 385; [+|-]
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<RallyCat> All this talks about cats is making me crave chinese food.
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Quote: 574642; Rating: 9211; [+|-]
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* Porter is now known as PorterWITHGIRLFRIENDWHOISHOT
<Strayed> he shot his girlfriend?
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Quote: 4603; Rating: 748; [+|-]
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<Thrasher> What drugs should be used to increase statistics in my game?
<Ear> Well, beta-blockers would have a positive effect on accuracy, but a negative effect on strength.
<Ear> Acebutolol hydrocholoride, alprenolol hydrocholoride, atenolol, labetalol hydrochloride, metoprolol tartrate, nadolol, oxprenolol hydrochloride, propranolol hydrocholoride, sotalol hydrocholoride are the beta-blockers banned by the IOC.
<Thrasher> ...Remind me not to ask you for help again.
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Quote: 942468; Rating: -51; [+|-]
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<DragnFly> You know, what we need is a room of all american chatters. Since people are always quiet on IRC anyways, we can call it "American Idle" :p
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Quote: 638341; Rating: 123; [+|-]
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<Percy> No wonder this place is empty.
<Percy> Who uses windows 95?
<Percy> No one.
<Percy> It's like seeing a mac gamer.
<Percy> Doesn't happen.
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Quote: 632373; Rating: 771; [+|-]
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<Alex> i
<Alex> f s h
<Alex> t c k s
<Alex> s i
<Laila> ...what is he trying to do?
<Reiz0r> Trying to make a fish from fishsticks.
<Reiz0r> It's MODERN ART
<Reiz0r> It's the true pesonification of the juxtaposition of the sombre emotion that the world of man made aesthetics is slowly and irrevokably destroy the nature of that which is ...
<Reiz0r> Something
<Reiz0r> Modern art doesn't have to look like much. It just needs an explanation with lots of long words
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Quote: 38035; Rating: 188; [+|-]
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<Blazen> racism is not tolerated on this network. you have been warned. further actions will include kill/gline.
<gigfood> who is that
<gigfood> everybody says that word
<gigfood> fuck you nigger
<Zt|ReEn^Ni> hes an ircop
<gigfood> shit he is?
<Blazen> is that a challenge?
<gigfood> listen here mr tuff irc cop
<gigfood> fuck you nigger
*** gigfood has quit IRC (G-lined (Multiple harassment/racism issues))
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Quote: 401970; Rating: 625; [+|-]
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<Aragel> goth in this area means...mommy and daddy both work till 6pm and im home alone all day so i rebel by looking like a racoon and wandering main street claiming to have a drug problem and drinking Lattes for attention
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Quote: 95696; Rating: 203; [+|-]
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<DragonBlaze> I want to name my kids after people I hate, so I can beat them - and feel good about it.
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Quote: 196025; Rating: -958; [+|-]
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<m00> Why does the mexican olympic team suck?
<m00> everyone who can run, jump or swim is already in the US
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Quote: 673145; Rating: 273; [+|-]
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Dudespunk7: 90% of domestic abuse happens due to shitty compaq products.
Dudespunk7: They don't want to ruin their expensive shit so they take it out on the wife, or kids.
Famethrow1: and because that bitch doesn't vacuum.
Dudespunk7: Exactly.
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Quote: 6626; Rating: 443; [+|-]
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<BrantB> OMG!
<CecilPL> what?
<BrantB> I just used an acronym for Oh My God for the first time ever
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Quote: 338; Rating: 0; [+|-]
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<starrrr> muhaha i did steal head server of Internet. If push "power" button the hole net will be shutdown. i hate all you Quake Playas!! !! !! uu!! And If i push reset button the whole internet going to DIE!!
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Quote: 136740; Rating: 215; [+|-]
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<konik> First of all let me say that Mac zealots should be rounded up into cattle cars, gassed to death and incinerated to make certain there is no remaining genetic material that might infect the rest of the gene pool.
<pixagen> amen
<pixagen> there is a guy at work who always tells people that their system would never fail, be slow, freeze, or cause stress if it was a Mac
<pixagen> i tried to stab him but he is nimble and spry
<natx> tell him i love him
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Quote: 1176; Rating: 264; [+|-]
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(jayo) heh, apparently when i was 4 my dad took me to the pool, i saw a black guy and said "hey dad.. its michael jackson"
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Quote: 81165; Rating: 196; [+|-]
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<Recca_sama> ok ok ok...........cyber........yesterday afternoon.......my mom knocked on my door and I opened it and she was talking to me about if i had enough money for the night and stuff like that.......and out of no where from iparty comes cyber's voice saying "your mom cab sit on my big cock. I want to fuck her
hard"
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Quote: 8982; Rating: 639; [+|-]
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<Fern> dag. some guy in NY hit 19 people with a buick regal. I wonder if there's some sort of bonus round for that.
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Quote: 396394; Rating: 481; [+|-]
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ShoMonkayHe: Guess what
Maxx Stepper: you lost our virginity?
Maxx Stepper: your*
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Quote: 2172; Rating: 1232; |
<refugee> man
<refugee> you cant cancel an AOL subscription online
<dwai> try to do it over the phone
<refugee> and they want your screenname when you cancel
<refugee> so I gotta be like "yeah, my screenname is SIZZLINGCROTCH"
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Quote: 56048; Rating: 375; [+|-]
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<Affe> god damn black socks
<Affe> i need to start pairing them together
<Affe> i pulled some out figuring 'oh if i pull out a few, i'll eventually end up with a pair'
<Affe> i had 8 different kinds of socks in my hand
<Ouroboros> Wow, Affe.
<Ouroboros> Your life must be incredibly boring if you thought that was interesting enough to tell us.
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Quote: 346240; Rating: 1299; [+|-]
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(lawngrl): im gonna insert my ipod in my vagina tonight and go to sleep i love it so much
(Fire_on_High): I'm quite sure that'll void your warranty
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Quote: 37913; Rating: 50; [+|-]
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<syrinx53> oz is a weight and a volume
<Znarl> How can it be both?!?! That's insane.
<syrinx53> even crazier, it's different if you're measuring the volume of a liquid vs. a solid
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Quote: 417153; Rating: 94; [+|-]
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(Deranged): I wanna get a job in a candy store putting fudge into boxes.
(Deranged): That way, when people ask what I do for a living, I can say I'm a fudge packer.
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Quote: 943758; Rating: 688; [+|-]
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<xtal> I am a trekker. I am a devout fan, but not enough to spend all my waking hours sewing costumes, assembling prop replicas, going to conventions, learning klingon, quibbling over the finer points of canon, and not having sex.
<xtal> which is to say
<xtal> while i'm not having sex anyway
<xtal> it's not star trek's fault.
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Quote: 1615; Rating: 222; [+|-]
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<eastjinx> from 19 to now, my world has completely changed
<DigDug> my world changes every 6 months :[
<|steve|> the world has changed 3 times since the last time i been out
<sev> world changes for me everyday
<|steve|> but our penis size stays the same
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Quote: 137523; Rating: 253; [+|-]
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<@ryan> theres acpi crap in my kernel
<@jon^c> eat more fiber
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Quote: 10859; Rating: 143; [+|-]
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<BigTongue> man, look at this slut on the price is right... bob barker is having a viagra attack
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Quote: 35460; Rating: 233; [+|-]
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<DrNick668> the guy that used to live at my house is subscribed to the far eastern economic review and he didn't get it forwarded to his new adress
<DrNick668> i like gettin free stuff, but couldn't he be a pervert instead of an investor?
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