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Quote: 742824; Rating: 408; [+|-]
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<SixFeet-> rejected by a computer script, new low in my life
<NTT> well, at least u didnt have cybersex with one of those bots that pm's you here on mirc
<SixFeet-> well i tried, but it replied with "lets just be friends..."
<SixFeet-> =( |
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Quote: 742872; Rating: 431; [+|-]
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<[Ko]Rob_e_lee1> ur retarted lol
<[ko]theuberelite> thats the most hypocritical statement I've ever heard. |
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Quote: 742931; Rating: 621; [+|-]
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<Sqrfrk> I went and watched 300
<Sqrfrk> That movie was badass
<ErrorNotFound404> oh
<ErrorNotFound404> im gonna go on thurs
<ErrorNotFound404> dont tell me anything
<Sqrfrk> They all die. |
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Quote: 743138; Rating: 293; [+|-]
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<Varitek> a piece of spam in my inbox had the subject "new fap"
<Varitek> I decided to forget my principles and actually read it
<Varitek> it was selling fake watches
<Varitek> I was crushed |
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Quote: 743227; Rating: 469; [+|-]
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<BurnStuff>: They asked me if I was bring drugs into Jamaica
<Kmank>: Bringing drugs to Jamaica?
<BurnStuff>: Yeah
<Kmank.: Thats like briging slim-fast to Ethiopia! |
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Quote: 743233; Rating: 401; [+|-]
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<Mud_Shark> Dagger thinks an orgy is using more than one magazine |
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Quote: 743281; Rating: 129; [+|-]
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< RedTee> Alright but i still dont have an answer on my second and last question
< nazgjunk> RedTee, you ask a question about DOS'ing with ping, without knowing what ping is
< RedTee> its not what im asking FFS
< RedTee> DO I need dos to preform a dos attack!?!?!?!?!
< einz> YES, don't you see name?
-!- RedTee [[email protected]] has quit [Quit: alright THANKS FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!] |
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Quote: 743285; Rating: 479; [+|-]
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<caleb> "you're only running from yourself"
<caleb> i yelled that after a pair of joggers once in the early 90s.
<caleb> i thought it was hilarious.
<caleb> i think there might have been some mescaline involved. |
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Quote: 743288; Rating: 467; [+|-]
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<Gumby-> so another guy found you sexy.u00a0 so what?
<Alchav> I guess you had to be there :/
<Gumby-> I do community theater, where 80% of the guys are gay.u00a0 One time the director came up to me, wanted to make me feel uncomfortable, and said something like "hey big guy, so....boxers or briefs?" ...
<Gumby-> so to mess with him, I look at him and say "Neither.u00a0 womens"
<Gumby-> he says "Ooh, that's getting me all excited now."u00a0u00a0 I then return with "Look, it's no secret.u00a0 I may be strong enough for a man, but I'm made for a woman".u00a0 He laughed and walked away
<Gumby-> Lesson learned: The key to getting someone to stop creeping you out, is to out-do them.u00a0 :) |
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Quote: 743307; Rating: 304; [+|-]
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<mentor> How do you escape handcuffs?
<fudge> Are you in handcuffs?
<fudge> Depend very much on the design.
<fudge> Well-designed handcuffs are, unsurprisingly, quite hard to escape.
<fudge> Houdini's stuff was mostly based on having hidden bits of metal that could be used to pick the lock.
<mentor> backslashes
* fudge hits mentor |
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Quote: 743353; Rating: 484; [+|-]
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Matt: I reaaaaaaaaaaallly hope the coding for this grade genie in our online gradebook is fucked
Matt: "You final exam score must be 1.20303288341787e^308 for Final Average to be 90" |
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Quote: 743428; Rating: 2318; [+|-]
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culturejammer: you know what pennies are AWESOME for?
culturejammer: throwing at cats
culturejammer: it only costs a single penny
culturejammer: and they'll either chase it, or get hit by it and look pissed off
culturejammer: i now use that system to value prices of things
culturejammer: for example, a thirty dollar game has to be at least as awesome as three thousand catpennies |
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Quote: 743431; Rating: 245; [+|-]
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<kikuichimonji> Okay, you know how in Revelation in the Bible it talks about how in the end times everyone will be marked with a number?
<kikuichimonji> And how you will need that number to buy or sell anything?
<kikuichimonji> I think that the Bible is refering to DRM.
<kikuichimonji> Bill Gates is the antichrist, and Vista registration keys are the mark of the beast. |
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Quote: 743459; Rating: 1930; [+|-]
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<Ki> HAHAHAHA I DID IT HAHAHA FUCKERS
<Ki> I ASSEMBLED THE BED
<Mellis> hmm?
<Mellis> congratulations you're a level 2 Ikeamancer |
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Quote: 743532; Rating: 1865; [+|-]
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<aioli> i hope whoever invented the mysterious force gets his or her penis caught in a gear
<raxvulpine> Your attempt to be gender-neutral there only sort of worked. |
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Quote: 743595; Rating: 3000; [+|-]
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<crabcakedeathra> where were you earlier?
<arkilla> work.
<crabcakedeathra> where you work?
<arkilla> GTE Visa. mail room clerk.
<arkilla> had some trouble with this asshole sendin in coupons
<arkilla> today he also sent in 33 motherfuggin' pennies
<arkilla> my managr called to complain, after like an hour WE cut HIM a check for 33 cents
<crabcakedeathra> that sounds damn familiar |
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Quote: 743806; Rating: 599; [+|-]
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Kris: Happy Pi Day!
Dean: I don't celebrate pi day, but rather pi approximation day on july 22nd or 7/22 |
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Quote: 743913; Rating: -48; [+|-]
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caithness: Nike Brand Condoms
caithness: "Just Do It" |
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Quote: 743927; Rating: 1219; [+|-]
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rintin: so I fried my dads motherboard today
rintin: apparently I wasn't grounded...
rintin: now I am |
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Quote: 744007; Rating: 684; [+|-]
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<Chains> fuck that AM/PM shit, i'm european, i can have 13:37 every day! |
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Quote: 744009; Rating: 454; [+|-]
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<Chainsaw> If you want to run SELinux, you need to start installing an SELinux system. You can't just enable that USE-flag and expect things to work.
* ML-37 grins
<Chainsaw> That's like taking 14 wheels off of your 18-wheeler and saying "this is now a car, off we go". |
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Quote: 744013; Rating: 1084; [+|-]
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<kidd79> do u know what i'd like they add to Google.Earth?
<Don_Vito> ..3D graphics?
<Don_Vito> animated water, trees and stuuf??
<kidd79> orbital ion cannon |
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Quote: 744067; Rating: 555; [+|-]
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<slashdotuser> I still think the only real way to communicate with outlying civilisations properly will be with supernovas.
<slashdotuser> Though, only one message could be send - "Help our sun is blowing u^&"%u00a3%^&!*(())[NO CARRIER] |
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Quote: 744203; Rating: 179; [+|-]
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<@blaxthos> one token to unite them
<@kastein> murdrface: and in a ring bind them |
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Quote: 744206; Rating: -145; [+|-]
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<+Tigrael> you're a bash mod now?
<%kastein> yup.
<%spock1104> kastein: tell them to stop rejecting quotes that rock and accepting quotes that suck
<%kastein> spock1104: hey
<%kastein> them includes me now
* %kastein goes back to being a nazi mod
<%kastein> MUST THROW MORE QUOTES IN THE OVEN |
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Quote: 744290; Rating: 1011; [+|-]
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<Hitman2005> I got a new Car stereo the other day, it comes equipped with'VOICE RECOGNITION!'.
<Hitman2005> So if i shout "Rock", it searches, and play rock music, If i shout 'SOUL' it searches for soul music, same with country music etc,etc.
<Hitman2005> Only problem is, i had some children run out in front of my car the other day,
<Hitman2005> I shouted "FUCKING KIDS", Then Michael Jacksons 'THRILLER' came on :S |
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Quote: 744447; Rating: 938; [+|-]
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<Drakkel> is it sad that I'm looking through national sex offender databases of areas where I live?
<Lai> I would have tried the personals first, really. |
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Quote: 744548; Rating: 51; [+|-]
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<Kkooly> rumick whyd you download the same episode 3 times
<jkpolk> He probably has a triple monitor setup |
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Quote: 745147; Rating: 2245; [+|-]
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<Dack Falu> WTF, there are Bomberman fanfics
<Dack Falu> Did that shit have a storyline?
<Stultus> Someone's probably written a fanfic for Tetris
<Saturn V> THE L BLOCK TAKES ME BY THE HAND AND PLUGNES ITSELF NEATLY INTO ME, FORMING A LINE
<Saturn V> I MOAN BUT THEN PART OF ME VANISHES
<Saturn V> FOREVER. |
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Quote: 745175; Rating: 346; [+|-]
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<ralph> perl is the lossy compression for programming languages |
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Quote: 745228; Rating: 1299; [+|-]
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<Foamy> im a little teapot
<Foamy> short and stout
<Foamy> here is my handle
* Trueborn has kicked Foamy from #totse (get the fuck out) |
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Quote: 745239; Rating: 449; [+|-]
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bendingoutward: last night was so hardcore that i moshed with a guy in a wheelchair. |
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Quote: 745385; Rating: 907; [+|-]
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<@Sadist> http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/ef/Age_of_Consent.png
<@Sadist> data for age of consent all around the world.
<Dano> Is that in your bookmarks?
<@Sadist> its my home page |
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Quote: 745401; Rating: 529; [+|-]
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Lord Kagemaro: Want a PS3?
IDLon2000: No
Lord Kagemaro: :/
Lord Kagemaro: I'm bored with mine |
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Quote: 745536; Rating: -77; [+|-]
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<scott> Where were your born?
<scott> homoland?
<scott> Thats not even possible. |
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Quote: 745565; Rating: 1595; [+|-]
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<zak> I once almost kissed a girl but then she woke up.. then i woke up |
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Quote: 745889; Rating: 499; [+|-]
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<nista> i was explaining to a claimant why a defendant was being sued
<nista> i told him that the defendant violated a federal statute
<nista> he said "VIOLATED A FEDERAL STATUE?!? WHICH ONE, THE LINCOLN MEMORIAL?!?" |
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Quote: 745894; Rating: 372; [+|-]
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* Nanobot primarily uses a pi-based counting system
<Nanobot> I know all of the digits in pi
<Nanobot> It's 10 |
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Quote: 746293; Rating: 766; [+|-]
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<jo> apparently, according to Josh, the Swiss-French border is at risk of being sucked in by a black hole
<jo> they're experimenting with time/space stuff there
<Lewin> haha
<Lewin> try staying out of that one, switzerland |
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Quote: 746302; Rating: -243; [+|-]
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Jmack- i was dreaming of eating a marshmallow
B-dawg- and what happened?
Jmack- when i woke up
b-dawg- then what
Jmack- my pillow was gone......
b-dawg- ........wtf...... |
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Quote: 746569; Rating: 1159; [+|-]
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<&Dynamic_Inc> ive decided to play a huge prctical joke on my friends
<&Dynamic_Inc> ima slip 2 of them the date rape drug when they are REALLY drunk
<&Dynamic_Inc> then with the help of my other friends, strip them naked, and put them inu00a0 u00a0 u00a0 bed together, spooning
<&Dynamic_Inc> beat one of them on the ass, so when they wake up its sore
<&Dynamic_Inc> and smear some blood and poop on the sheets
<&Dynamic_Inc> there gunna wake up and be like "O.O fuck."
<&Dynamic_Inc> one of them will turn gay because of it
<&Dynamic_Inc> and they will both act wiered for years
<&Dynamic_Inc> then like 5 years down the road
<&Dynamic_Inc> ill tell them the truth
<&Dynamic_Inc> and then run like fuck
<&Dynamic_Inc> its gunna be great
<%Airegorne> can i help? |
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Quote: 746655; Rating: 1186; [+|-]
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<StrangelyUnoriginal>So I was at Walmart, being the financial transaction overlord of register 21.
Rite, and this kid walks up, I ring up his items and he says, "So I heard you like mudkips?" so I acted all confused like he expected me to andhe had a little faggoty giggle then he asked me what his total was and I said, "Your total, IT'S OVER NINE THOUSSSSSSAAAAND!" and my manager was like, "lol wtf?" then I grabbed the pricing scanner and crushed it in my hand. |
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Quote: 746738; Rating: 548; [+|-]
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Hooka: I'm going to pee on you
Ralphy_Fox: that'd be hot
lemonlimeskull: Only for a while, then it'd cool off. |
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Quote: 746742; Rating: 1427; [+|-]
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<irzyxel> RANDY !
<irzyxel> long time no see !
<irzyxel> hows the kids
<Randy`> still in my testicles, thankfully |
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Quote: 746746; Rating: 278; [+|-]
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<sigafoo> your girlfriend is so slutty she gets pass 'by reference'
<HdxEvil> &owned |
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Quote: 746793; Rating: 885; [+|-]
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<Etir> I want to see Clinton versus Rice in 2008 just to see if a 3rd party candidate can win on the "I'm Male" platform |
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Quote: 746975; Rating: 431; [+|-]
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<ricebowl> lingerie is one of the few items where you expect to pay more for less |
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Quote: 747013; Rating: 637; [+|-]
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<pecosdave> Yeah, Snakes on a Plane not a movie you can enjoy alone.
<pecosdave> You can admit to watching the movie with a group, but watching it alone shows signs of having issues.
<jpaganel> LOL
<pecosdave> It's like Rocky Horror.u00a0 Watching it alone of the privacy of your own home makes you weird.
<pecosdave> Cross dressing and watching it with a crowd on the other hand is perfect acceptable. |
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Quote: 747032; Rating: 1332; [+|-]
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<Mikachu> haha, i misread a japanese word i wanted to look up
<Mikachu> it was kansha, meaning "thanks, gratitude"
<Mikachu> but i wrote in gansha in the dictionary program
<Mikachu> "ejaculation onto partner's face"
<Mikachu> that is a mispronunciation i will be careful to avoid |
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Quote: 747042; Rating: 1625; [+|-]
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<Stevie_Kilroy> a little s&m never hurt anyone
<Bungalow Bill> dude
<Bungalow Bill> Yes it did. |
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