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Quote: 756353; Rating: 1990; [+|-]
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<knightmare> sixtho I challenge you to IRC DDR!
<sixtho> ummm ok
<knightmare> + ddrbot start 10
<DDRBot> Game Started!
<DDRBot> <
<knightmare> <
<sixtho> <
<DDRBot> ^^
<knightmare> ^^
<sixtho> ^^
<DDRBot> vvv
<knightmare> vvv
<sixtho> wtf
<DDRBot> knightmare wins!
<knightmare> ?
<sixtho> where the shit is the down arrow
<knightmare> ... |
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Quote: 756448; Rating: 815; [+|-]
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<@Longcat> Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
<Edible> Thrown out of Windo-
<Edible> ...
* Edible goes to cry. |
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Quote: 756534; Rating: 1111; [+|-]
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<AlexMax> holy hell
<AlexMax> i just spent 3 hours working on what's essentially the equivalent of "if then"
<bioXar|K0Li0> AlexMax, i kno i guy who had an exam. the question was "what is bravery?".
<bioXar|K0Li0> he had 4 hours for that exam
<bioXar|K0Li0> he sat 4 hours without writing anything
<bioXar|K0Li0> and in the last minute he wrote
<bioXar|K0Li0> "THIS IS BRAVERY"
<bioXar|K0Li0> and got an A
<bioXar|K0Li0> :) |
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Quote: 756642; Rating: 1599; [+|-]
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<SaxxonPike> shit
<SaxxonPike> I turned in a paper today
<SaxxonPike> and just now realized the title said "American Herpes"
<SaxxonPike> instead of "American Heroes"
<SaxxonPike> fuck |
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Quote: 756658; Rating: 424; [+|-]
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<RustyBridge> does the NotePad ever run out
<ArtoSaari> lmao?
<RustyBridge> ? |
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Quote: 756661; Rating: 481; [+|-]
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<MrKurtz> I intend to get tattooed and/or pierced again in costa rica
<MrKurtz> in keeping with tradition
<JBlitzen\AG> What better to do in the third world then experiment with needles |
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Quote: 756664; Rating: 0; [+|-]
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walshy117: im afraid of the internet pr0n
walshy117: its like
walshy117: i was playing around the stove
walshy117: and i got burned
walshy117: now i dont fucking go in the kitchen anymore
walshy117: not saying i was literally beating off in the kitchen of course |
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Quote: 756693; Rating: -88; [+|-]
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* ChanServ sets mode: +l 32
* mentalinc has quit IRC (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
* JP has quit IRC (ETG-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com NewZealand.EnterTheGame.Com)
* Envy has quit IRC (ETG-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com NewZealand.EnterTheGame.Com)
* Munkee has quit IRC (ETG-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com NewZealand.EnterTheGame.Com)
* shade_ has quit IRC (ETG-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com NewZealand.EnterTheGame.Com)
* ChanServ sets mode: +l 27
<hoppers99_> bugger for them
* hoppers99_ has quit IRC (ETG-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com NewZealand.EnterTheGame.Com) |
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Quote: 756715; Rating: 435; [+|-]
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SpleeGuy: i'm bored
SuperSu:u00a0 ok let me do something
SpleeGuy: ok
SuperSu signed off |
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Quote: 756741; Rating: 347; [+|-]
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epilnivek: I don't know what time i'll be there... i've got a date with ashley and her Wii
epilnivek: that sounds horrible
parabolo: yes it does
epilnivek: but I really do mean the nintendo |
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Quote: 756762; Rating: 2698; [+|-]
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The Fishchaser: we should tell the japaneese we found a planet full of giant tentacle monsters and their females are somehow little school girls
The Fishchaser: we'll be going faster than the speed of light in a week |
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Quote: 756793; Rating: -17; [+|-]
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<tigrow> if u think its getting to hot masterman
<tigrow> put water on it
<tigrow> use icewater
<tigrow> they need that the first 2 hours or so
<Crimpy> dont forget to jam knives into the back while you do it
<Sacred_> you guys are mean
<Sacred_> yer gonna fuck his box up
<Sacred_> use olive oil |
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Quote: 756797; Rating: 707; [+|-]
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<Ralf> programmers and old people have a lot in common.
<Ralf> we're both always looking for ways to control leaks.
<Ralf> and dumps. |
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Quote: 757049; Rating: 625; [+|-]
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<Tarnagh> You know why the Clean Air Act was first established?
<Askee> Why
<Tarnagh> So the people in Colorado could see the mountains
<Tarnagh> and so people in California could see each other |
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Quote: 757065; Rating: 513; [+|-]
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* TRWBW was taught god doesn't play dice with the universe. not after that drunken night with the devil where he lost classical mechanics in a game of craps. |
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Quote: 757181; Rating: 1122; [+|-]
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<knightmare> ugh
<knightmare> wasn't expecting the 'what makes you stick out from other candidates' in a phone interview
<knightmare> I don't think 'I have an afro' was a good answer |
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Quote: 757207; Rating: 732; [+|-]
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<iank> I accidentally type valid perl when I'm angry.
<iank> @$#()*UD()IIF# |
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Quote: 757250; Rating: 620; [+|-]
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(Deranged): If you're driving a hearse with a corpse in the back, is it ok to use the carpool lane on the highway? |
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Quote: 757252; Rating: 682; [+|-]
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<SlyBoy> Your momma's so fat, I had to integrate her by parts. |
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Quote: 757584; Rating: 568; [+|-]
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<BethOOC> If it were my dad, he'd be making jokes about being hard-headed.
<BethOOC> After they amputated his toe he joked about having to learn to count in base 19
<Rach> .....
<Rach> Your dad is a dork... |
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Quote: 757644; Rating: 856; [+|-]
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Zoolig: I've had enough of weak, indecisive people.
Shoe: I think I have too. |
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Quote: 757657; Rating: 979; [+|-]
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<recursive>u00a0 If being an idiot was illegal, it would probably be easier to keep the criminals outside the jails and use them as fortresses. |
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Quote: 757679; Rating: 1320; [+|-]
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<Bob The Plumber>: Some people had a day of silence at our school to raise awareness for something today.
<El Chupacabra>: What were they raising awareness for?
<Bob The Plumber>: I dunno, they wouldn't tell me |
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Quote: 757724; Rating: 2578; [+|-]
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<CtrlAltDestroy> Here is my impression of Wikipedia.
<CtrlAltDestroy> "There are five fingers on the human hand [citation needed]" |
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Quote: 757871; Rating: 449; [+|-]
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cmk314: i said Civil engineers have the biggest erections
cmk314: Some other guy said mechEs make weapons, civEs make targets
cmk314: and at the exact moment i realized i need to get out of engineering. |
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Quote: 757896; Rating: 703; [+|-]
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<Joby-> so i moved into this new neighborhood right
<Joby-> and like
<Joby-> i rode my bike right
<Joby-> and i saw these 2 hot girls
<Joby-> and they saw me and they waved at me
<Joby-> but then i crashed into a parked car :<
<Mkoll> Real ladies man, arn't you?
<Joby-> yeah |
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Quote: 757929; Rating: -109; [+|-]
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<SgtBallard> There was this kid back in Junior High that asked our group about how to Masturbate. Well Saint there and I decided to play a joke on him. We told him that the key to jacking it was the firestarter method
<Uberm4cht> fire starter?
<SaintAlvus> Thats when you take your dick in both hands, and rub opposite directions quickly as if you are rubbing a stick to start a fire. Ballard though told the little prick to flick the tip when his dick became numb.
<SgtBallard> Yep, Kid comes back the next week and tells us that he did it until he started bleeding but he never came. That will make me laugh till the day I die. |
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Quote: 758032; Rating: 7334; [+|-]
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dftpnkezln: For all of you reporting a score more than 100 as you iq lol @ you. How can you possibly score more than 100%?
dftpnkezln:I'm very happy with my score of 89. |
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Quote: 758379; Rating: 10358; [+|-]
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< Alkivar> we're on our way back from partying in NYC over the weekend ... it was like sunday afternoon we're headed back west
< Alkivar> we're cruisin... maybe 130-140mph
< Alkivar> flew past a trooper on the side of the road
< Alkivar> trooper lights up ... siren blasting ... chasing us down the highway
< Alkivar> we're both like should we stop ... there's no way he can catch up to us
< Alkivar> we decided to be good and stop
< Alkivar> cop catches up to us ... comes out gun drawn ... pissed as hell
< Alkivar> walks up to the side of the car and goes
< Alkivar> "SON CAN I SEE YOUR PILOT'S LICENSE"
< Alkivar> Jason pulls out his fucking pilot's license
< Alkivar> cop's jaw hits the fucking ground
< Alkivar> most stunned face I've ever fucking seen
< Alkivar> in this practically a whimper goes "get the fuck out of here"
< Alkivar> no ticket... too embarassed apparently
< Alkivar> I'll never forget that day long as I live
< Alkivar> I was sure we were goin to jail |
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Quote: 758565; Rating: 525; [+|-]
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Cataclaw: "You are on day 2135 of your evaluation period"
Cataclaw: o sorry paint shop pro
Cataclaw: mind if i use it one more day?
Tinactin: Were I to ever release a bit of software and have the nerve to charge to "activate" it, I'd have those messages become ruder and ruder as the use progressed past the trial period.
Tinactin: Until, "You motherfucking cunt, why not just pay for the fucking software already? Jesus fucking Christ, what do you think, I coded this shit out of the goodness of my fucking heart?u00a0 Bullshit, you've been using this shit for a fucking year already, and I haven't gotten a single fucking thank you, let alone a goddamn cent for it.u00a0 Fuck you, you worthless, mooching son of a bitch.u00a0 Fuck you.u00a0 [Activate] [Continue Unregistered]" |
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Quote: 758669; Rating: 252; [+|-]
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<sharquedo> I'm a zombie, braiiinnnssssss
<DemonHeart> I'm homeless, chaaannnggeeeee |
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Quote: 758854; Rating: 620; [+|-]
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Hawkins030: Why are people in 90 degree weather so white?
Hawkins030: Because the tan of 90 degrees doesn't exist. |
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Quote: 758872; Rating: 157; [+|-]
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<Emmie> Dilt, remember: Life takes VISA, but Death runs on Linux.
<Dilt> no wonder death can't be escaped |
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Quote: 758893; Rating: 89; [+|-]
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phractured: why did the emo prostitute make a good carpenter?
phractured: because she knew how to cut and screw! |
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Quote: 759102; Rating: 1439; [+|-]
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smack: get that .45
NOFX: looks nice
smack: it's the nicest gun i have ever shot/owned
NOFX: wtf 7 rounds
smack: it's a .45 man
smack: if you need more than 7 .45 rounds, you either can't shoot, or are in WAY over your head |
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Quote: 759239; Rating: 296; [+|-]
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<@dagger> did you hear the one about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac?
<@dagger> he stayed up all night wondering if there was a god
<@dagger> er, dog
<@dagger> ffs |
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Quote: 759242; Rating: 55; [+|-]
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< xxxt> Hi, how do I join this IRC takeover group? CHANFIX has mad skills
< xxxt> i dont even know how he does it
< xxxt> ;-) |
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Quote: 759323; Rating: 263; [+|-]
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<Bane|Gone> that's ok...i had a dream once that a friend came over in the morning and was stabbing me in the nutsack.u00a0 then i woke up and it turned out that a spring in my mattress had broken and was poking through. |
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Quote: 759367; Rating: 1021; [+|-]
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Coff:We should bring rain ponchoes back. Problem Solved.
Cyg:New Problem: I don't want to look like a homeless wizard. |
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Quote: 759408; Rating: 682; [+|-]
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<@Berryful> The typing is strong in this one
<@Berryful> but i fear he has fallen to the dvorak side |
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Quote: 759646; Rating: 255; [+|-]
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[ + [Adam] ]: MAN
[ + [Adam] ]: I want an arab inflatable sex doll
[ + [Adam] ]: they blow themSELVES up |
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Quote: 759722; Rating: 596; [+|-]
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thisismykittyx: so i went into victoria's secret and asked one of the bra-fitting ladies if they carried AAs.
thisismykittyx: and the lady goes, "try radioshack". |
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Quote: 759747; Rating: 92; [+|-]
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<cinco`de`mayo> Are Mexicans really baptized in bean dip?
<cinco`de`mayo> Yes, but only because Jesus once said, Blessed are the refried, for they shall inherit the southwest United States. |
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Quote: 759758; Rating: 1949; [+|-]
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dantose: Do u get a trophy 4 it????
rocker576: It occurs to me that typing "u" instead of "you" and "4" instead of "for" saved you 4 (not "for") keystrokes. Typing "????" instead of "?" used 3 keystrokes plus the use of the shift button for a total of 4 keystrokes. Thus, you have saved no effort whatsoever by kicking the English language. |
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Quote: 759772; Rating: 292; [+|-]
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Informatik: My final iMac price ended up at $3,752
Informatik: xd
Motley: the hell did you add? a used car? |
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Quote: 759821; Rating: 240; [+|-]
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<Greystripe> one day, i'm gonna own my own company
<Greystripe> and it's gonna get big
<Greystripe> and i'll be like bill gates, but less of an arse
<Greystripe> and i'll be all rich and famous
<Greystripe> but i'll still come in here
<Greystripe> and i'll be like "hey guys, did you see me on the news?"
<Greystripe> because, let's face it, i'm never gonna have a social life |
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Quote: 759858; Rating: 1351; [+|-]
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<KaiserPanda> spiderman, spiderman, does whatever a spider can
<KaiserPanda> clings to walls, licks his balls
<KaiserPanda> but not at the same time or else he faaaaalls! |
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Quote: 759906; Rating: 849; [+|-]
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<jeet> u guys are dumb... i like shemale porn its like regular porn but with more boobs
<vrunt> uhh... okay
<LainWave> jeet: putting the xy back in sexy |
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Quote: 759974; Rating: 188; [+|-]
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<mranostay> I have this dream of hiring a hooker, and when she asks what I want done, one word "Cronjob". |
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Quote: 760002; Rating: 839; [+|-]
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*Anony-X has joined #mac*
<Emoxin> sometimes when im masturbating i look at pictures of dogs. not dogs having sex or anything, just dogs. like chasing frisbees and shit. just the way they move and their bark gets me so hot. i can fit 3 more fingers in my pussy when theres a dog around.
<Anony-X> mac users, i swear to god...
*Anony-X has left #mac* |
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