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Quote: 741748; Rating: 803; [+|-]
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<fatcat> Someone wrote <shit> on the outside of a stall door in the bathroom, and </shit> on the inside.
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Quote: 741806; Rating: 371; [+|-]
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<@BalefireX> you dated a sea mammal
<+Spexor_> if you ask her we never dated
<@YucA> man
<@YucA> i dunno whats worse
<@YucA> that he admits to dating a sea mammal
<@YucA> or that said sea mammal wouldnt admit to dating him
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Quote: 741833; Rating: 359; [+|-]
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<c-unut> pfft slipknot
<Finch > slipknot go good
<c-unut> I've always seen them sorta like anal sex
<Finch> if u want to look at it that way...
<c-unut> You know, I appreciate that some may enjoy it, and it has its moments, but at the end of the day, its still fucking shit.
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Quote: 741844; Rating: 553; [+|-]
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<laszlow> What would you rather wake up to at three in the morning? A dick in your mouth or a clown grinning at you from across the room?
<Neal> I can only pick one
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Quote: 741856; Rating: 979; [+|-]
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<kimos> You seem (in my (humble) opinion (which doesn't mean much)) to be (or possibly could be) more of a Lisp programmer (but I could be (and probably am) wrong).
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Quote: 741908; Rating: 446; [+|-]
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<peerce> Some people, when confronted with a problem, think "I know, Ill use regular expressions." Now they have two problems.
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Quote: 742089; Rating: 203; [+|-]
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<HellDragon> why do i make the same face when i orgasm than when i go backward in my car
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Quote: 742204; Rating: 350; [+|-]
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<@dekkon> ive got an appointment at the eye doctor on the 13th
<@dekkon> finally going to get contacts
<@terminal_> contacts are a pain in the ass
<+jmx> terminal they go in your eyes
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Quote: 742386; Rating: 938; [+|-]
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<HaX.1337> U're all lame as hell here!!!!! I can hack u all in no time! just tell me your ip and u're dead!
<Maler.home> try mine
<Maler.home> 127.0.0.1
*** Signoff: HaX.1337 (Connection reset by peer)
<Damz|dispute> wow. never thought such a retard nick can get his hands on something actually working xD
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Quote: 742408; Rating: 2507; [+|-]
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<Javin> Oh.
<Javin> My.
<Javin> God.
<Javin> We have a unit here. It's about the size of a small speaker.
<Javin> In big letters across the front of it, it says "DATA DESTROYER."
<Javin> Some idiot comes into my office just now, and asks, "hey, what is this thing?"
<Javin> I say sarcastically, "it's a DVD polisher..."
<Javin> Next thing I hear: *GRIND GRIND GRIND* "WHAT THE FUCK?!?!"
<Javin> Now they're pissed at ME.
<Javin> Because THEY couldn't read.
<Javin> Besides, it's not like I gave them PERMISSION to use MY "DVD Polisher."
<Javin> I hate people.
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Quote: 742454; Rating: 548; [+|-]
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<Mirconium>Several sequels have been announced for Gears of War
<Mirconium>The new games will include Sprockets of Peace, Pulleys of Neutrality, Fulcrums of Strife, Screws of Fixation, and Wheels of Locomotion.
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Quote: 742547; Rating: 1166; [+|-]
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<caddis> the hardest thing about buying a macbook is telling your parents you are gay
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Quote: 742578; Rating: 901; [+|-]
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<dude> this is belgium at its best
<dude> our minister of defense takes a chopper to fly 60 kms to go see Al Gore's movie about climate change
<dude> beat that
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Quote: 742658; Rating: 225; [+|-]
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<Rynol> Until individual protons play little quark violins.
<Zrith> I imagine attempting to play music on a quark might prove problematic.
<Zrith> You either get to figure out where you are in a song, or what the tempo is.
<Rynol> Of course, if we were talking string theory then it'd be easier, what with the inherent resonance and all.
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Quote: 742745; Rating: 406; [+|-]
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<SWTrilman> i'm not huge into porn
<Draken> my porn interests, no punning here, come and go
<SWTrilman> i used to be into it
<SWTrilman> i guess i just got over it
<Draken> but she looks so sweet and cute and wholesome... and then she's masturbating to turtles
<SWTrilman> or something
<Draken> eh, you get burned out on porn
<Draken> you either distance yourself for the most part, or seek out more and more extreme porn to fill the gaping hole in yourself.
<Draken> then you get arrested for raping a sheep while wearing a Spiderman costume
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Quote: 742772; Rating: 752; [+|-]
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<Dan_Dinh> *yet?
<Dan_Dinh> you haven't done the review ye ?
<Spik3balloon> holy crap, dan can see into the future
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Quote: 742824; Rating: 361; [+|-]
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<SixFeet-> rejected by a computer script, new low in my life
<NTT> well, at least u didnt have cybersex with one of those bots that pm's you here on mirc
<SixFeet-> well i tried, but it replied with "lets just be friends..."
<SixFeet-> =(
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Quote: 742872; Rating: 383; [+|-]
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<[Ko]Rob_e_lee1> ur retarted lol
<[ko]theuberelite> thats the most hypocritical statement I've ever heard.
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Quote: 742931; Rating: 572; [+|-]
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<Sqrfrk> I went and watched 300
<Sqrfrk> That movie was badass
<ErrorNotFound404> oh
<ErrorNotFound404> im gonna go on thurs
<ErrorNotFound404> dont tell me anything
<Sqrfrk> They all die.
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Quote: 743138; Rating: 248; [+|-]
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<Varitek> a piece of spam in my inbox had the subject "new fap"
<Varitek> I decided to forget my principles and actually read it
<Varitek> it was selling fake watches
<Varitek> I was crushed
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Quote: 743227; Rating: 431; [+|-]
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<BurnStuff>: They asked me if I was bring drugs into Jamaica
<Kmank>: Bringing drugs to Jamaica?
<BurnStuff>: Yeah
<Kmank.: Thats like briging slim-fast to Ethiopia!
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Quote: 743233; Rating: 342; [+|-]
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<Mud_Shark> Dagger thinks an orgy is using more than one magazine
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Quote: 743281; Rating: 66; [+|-]
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< RedTee> Alright but i still dont have an answer on my second and last question
< nazgjunk> RedTee, you ask a question about DOS'ing with ping, without knowing what ping is
< RedTee> its not what im asking FFS
< RedTee> DO I need dos to preform a dos attack!?!?!?!?!
< einz> YES, don't you see name?
-!- RedTee [[email protected]] has quit [Quit: alright THANKS FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
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Quote: 743285; Rating: 449; [+|-]
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<caleb> "you're only running from yourself"
<caleb> i yelled that after a pair of joggers once in the early 90s.
<caleb> i thought it was hilarious.
<caleb> i think there might have been some mescaline involved.
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Quote: 743288; Rating: 397; [+|-]
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<Gumby-> so another guy found you sexy. so what?
<Alchav> I guess you had to be there :/
<Gumby-> I do community theater, where 80% of the guys are gay. One time the director came up to me, wanted to make me feel uncomfortable, and said something like "hey big guy, so....boxers or briefs?" ...
<Gumby-> so to mess with him, I look at him and say "Neither. womens"
<Gumby-> he says "Ooh, that's getting me all excited now." I then return with "Look, it's no secret. I may be strong enough for a man, but I'm made for a woman". He laughed and walked away
<Gumby-> Lesson learned: The key to getting someone to stop creeping you out, is to out-do them. :)
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Quote: 743307; Rating: 236; [+|-]
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<mentor> How do you escape handcuffs?
<fudge> Are you in handcuffs?
<fudge> Depend very much on the design.
<fudge> Well-designed handcuffs are, unsurprisingly, quite hard to escape.
<fudge> Houdini's stuff was mostly based on having hidden bits of metal that could be used to pick the lock.
<mentor> backslashes
* fudge hits mentor
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Quote: 743353; Rating: 436; [+|-]
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Matt: I reaaaaaaaaaaallly hope the coding for this grade genie in our online gradebook is fucked
Matt: "You final exam score must be 1.20303288341787e^308 for Final Average to be 90"
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Quote: 743428; Rating: 2216; [+|-]
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culturejammer: you know what pennies are AWESOME for?
culturejammer: throwing at cats
culturejammer: it only costs a single penny
culturejammer: and they'll either chase it, or get hit by it and look pissed off
culturejammer: i now use that system to value prices of things
culturejammer: for example, a thirty dollar game has to be at least as awesome as three thousand catpennies
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Quote: 743431; Rating: 201; [+|-]
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<kikuichimonji> Okay, you know how in Revelation in the Bible it talks about how in the end times everyone will be marked with a number?
<kikuichimonji> And how you will need that number to buy or sell anything?
<kikuichimonji> I think that the Bible is refering to DRM.
<kikuichimonji> Bill Gates is the antichrist, and Vista registration keys are the mark of the beast.
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Quote: 743459; Rating: 1854; [+|-]
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<Ki> HAHAHAHA I DID IT HAHAHA FUCKERS
<Ki> I ASSEMBLED THE BED
<Mellis> hmm?
<Mellis> congratulations you're a level 2 Ikeamancer
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Quote: 743532; Rating: 1774; [+|-]
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<aioli> i hope whoever invented the mysterious force gets his or her penis caught in a gear
<raxvulpine> Your attempt to be gender-neutral there only sort of worked.
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Quote: 743595; Rating: 2884; [+|-]
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<crabcakedeathra> where were you earlier?
<arkilla> work.
<crabcakedeathra> where you work?
<arkilla> GTE Visa. mail room clerk.
<arkilla> had some trouble with this asshole sendin in coupons
<arkilla> today he also sent in 33 motherfuggin' pennies
<arkilla> my managr called to complain, after like an hour WE cut HIM a check for 33 cents
<crabcakedeathra> that sounds damn familiar
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Quote: 743806; Rating: 535; [+|-]
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Kris: Happy Pi Day!
Dean: I don't celebrate pi day, but rather pi approximation day on july 22nd or 7/22
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Quote: 743913; Rating: -85; [+|-]
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caithness: Nike Brand Condoms
caithness: "Just Do It"
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Quote: 743927; Rating: 1181; [+|-]
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rintin: so I fried my dads motherboard today
rintin: apparently I wasn't grounded...
rintin: now I am
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Quote: 744007; Rating: 622; [+|-]
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<Chains> fuck that AM/PM shit, i'm european, i can have 13:37 every day!
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Quote: 744009; Rating: 433; [+|-]
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<Chainsaw> If you want to run SELinux, you need to start installing an SELinux system. You can't just enable that USE-flag and expect things to work.
* ML-37 grins
<Chainsaw> That's like taking 14 wheels off of your 18-wheeler and saying "this is now a car, off we go".
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Quote: 744013; Rating: 1054; [+|-]
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<kidd79> do u know what i'd like they add to Google.Earth?
<Don_Vito> ..3D graphics?
<Don_Vito> animated water, trees and stuuf??
<kidd79> orbital ion cannon
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Quote: 744203; Rating: 30; [+|-]
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<@blaxthos> one token to unite them
<@kastein> murdrface: and in a ring bind them
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Quote: 744206; Rating: -269; [+|-]
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<+Tigrael> you're a bash mod now?
<%kastein> yup.
<%spock1104> kastein: tell them to stop rejecting quotes that rock and accepting quotes that suck
<%kastein> spock1104: hey
<%kastein> them includes me now
* %kastein goes back to being a nazi mod
<%kastein> MUST THROW MORE QUOTES IN THE OVEN
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Quote: 744290; Rating: 966; [+|-]
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<Hitman2005> I got a new Car stereo the other day, it comes equipped with'VOICE RECOGNITION!'.
<Hitman2005> So if i shout "Rock", it searches, and play rock music, If i shout 'SOUL' it searches for soul music, same with country music etc,etc.
<Hitman2005> Only problem is, i had some children run out in front of my car the other day,
<Hitman2005> I shouted "FUCKING KIDS", Then Michael Jacksons 'THRILLER' came on :S
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Quote: 744447; Rating: 888; [+|-]
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<Drakkel> is it sad that I'm looking through national sex offender databases of areas where I live?
<Lai> I would have tried the personals first, really.
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Quote: 744548; Rating: -20; [+|-]
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<Kkooly> rumick whyd you download the same episode 3 times
<jkpolk> He probably has a triple monitor setup
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Quote: 745147; Rating: 2155; [+|-]
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<Dack Falu> WTF, there are Bomberman fanfics
<Dack Falu> Did that shit have a storyline?
<Stultus> Someone's probably written a fanfic for Tetris
<Saturn V> THE L BLOCK TAKES ME BY THE HAND AND PLUGNES ITSELF NEATLY INTO ME, FORMING A LINE
<Saturn V> I MOAN BUT THEN PART OF ME VANISHES
<Saturn V> FOREVER.
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Quote: 745175; Rating: 283; [+|-]
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<ralph> perl is the lossy compression for programming languages
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Quote: 745228; Rating: 1239; [+|-]
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<Foamy> im a little teapot
<Foamy> short and stout
<Foamy> here is my handle
* Trueborn has kicked Foamy from #totse (get the fuck out)
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Quote: 745239; Rating: 405; [+|-]
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bendingoutward: last night was so hardcore that i moshed with a guy in a wheelchair.
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Quote: 745385; Rating: 852; [+|-]
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<@Sadist> http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/ef/Age_of_Consent.png
<@Sadist> data for age of consent all around the world.
<Dano> Is that in your bookmarks?
<@Sadist> its my home page
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Quote: 745401; Rating: 493; [+|-]
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Lord Kagemaro: Want a PS3?
IDLon2000: No
Lord Kagemaro: :/
Lord Kagemaro: I'm bored with mine
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Quote: 745536; Rating: -107; [+|-]
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<scott> Where were your born?
<scott> homoland?
<scott> Thats not even possible.
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