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Quote: 754624; Rating: 204; [+|-]
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<Batou> QUIT FUCKING MIDGETS
<Malf> i cant
<Malf> they're so hot
<Malf> they are tight like kids but legal
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Quote: 754652; Rating: 478; [+|-]
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<Flac> Ahh, IRC, Kind of like downloading porn on limewire, When you open it up, your never quite sure what your going to see, but odds are good that it will scar you for life.
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Quote: 754839; Rating: 559; [+|-]
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< Sousaphone> Hey, if I'm dead, yet still here, that makes me a sysadmin zombie!
< Sousaphone> And I'm doing power cable documentation and labeling today :-D
< daven> fun
< Sousaphone> Maaaaaaaaaiiiiiinnsss
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Quote: 754846; Rating: 1437; [+|-]
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* dal3 has joined #math
<dal3> anyone good with math? could you tell me what 10+10-10+10+10-10-10-10+10+10-10+10-10-10+10-10-10-10+10+10+10+10-10+10 is?
<zepelin-> 17
<dal3> really?
<zepelin-> yeah
<dal3> thanx
* dal3 has left #math
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Quote: 755026; Rating: 1523; [+|-]
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<Paragon> man i remember in like second grade the teaxcher asked what 2-3 was
<Paragon> and someone was like "you can't do that"
<Paragon> and she was all "right you can't
<Paragon> and i was like "nooo, NEGATIVE NUMBERS"
<Paragon> and she ignored me
<Paragon> bitch
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Quote: 755062; Rating: 357; [+|-]
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Zedian: D&D Monopoly
Pregga Zexas: "I land at Wallstreet Avenue and roll a critical hit so all of the orcs in your hotels die."
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Quote: 755080; Rating: 427; [+|-]
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<lanken> suppose I have a file tree, and I want to move all the leaves to the root of the tree
<infernal_jesus> lanken: shake tree -h
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Quote: 755143; Rating: 1638; [+|-]
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<G-Nat> i love the graffiti in the physics toilets at uni
<G-Nat> a physics student wrote "Arts Degree Dispenser" on the toilet paper dispenser
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Quote: 755170; Rating: 614; [+|-]
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<THC|Rawk> I've literally got a -blind- date tonight.
<THC|Stone> ORLY? o_O
<THC|Rawk> It suits me fine for two reasons. First of all, I'll get to see if this "wonderful personality" crap I keep getting from girls actually is true.
<THC|Rawk> And if not, she'll never see what I slip into her drink.
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Quote: 755180; Rating: 462; [+|-]
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<Chrysalid^Revenge> LOL! Worst mom evar!
<Sectoid^Authopsy> Coming from you, I'm tempted to ask if you got laid again... ^_^
<Chrysalid^Revenge> I'll smack your ass later for that, but anyways
<Chrysalid^Revenge> I was hanging out with a friend today, and he had BB-gun with a cracked barrel.
<Chrysalid^Revenge> So he decides to fix it with epoxy, getting it functional before the seaguls arrive
<Chrysalid^Revenge> And in a futile attempt to get the glue to harden faster, he puts the damn gun in his mouth and starts blowing down the barrel.
<Sectoid^Authopsy> I'm starting to sense where this is going...
<Chrysalid^Revenge> Now his mother walks in with some laundry, takes a look at her son with a damn good replica of a 9mm Beretta stuck in his mouth
<Chrysalid^Revenge> And her only words were "Try not to make a mess, and don't get anything stuck in your throat."
<Chrysalid^Revenge> What a lovely relationship those two must have...
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Quote: 755535; Rating: 768; [+|-]
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<mithro> anyone know how to get find to remove all files which are older then 7 days?
<cherez> crap
<cherez> I tried to google to help that
<cherez> thinking to search a man page
<cherez> "find older man"
<cherez> it was bad :(
<cherez> real bad...
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Quote: 755629; Rating: 532; [+|-]
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<+knife> i produce enough semen in one day to feed half of africa
<+msBob> no wonder they all have aids
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Quote: 755665; Rating: 1054; [+|-]
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<melol2> wapityyy, so you are giving up computers, for a girl you hardly know, even when you dont know she has a problem with it?
<wapityyy> yeah
<wapityyy> thats totally me
<wapityyy> follow your instinct
<melol2> hmm. Sounds good :)
<r3v> if i followed my instinct
<r3v> there would be streets littered with dead babies
<r3v> and the word virgin would not exist
<wapityyy> what the FUCK
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Quote: 756353; Rating: 1918; [+|-]
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<knightmare> sixtho I challenge you to IRC DDR!
<sixtho> ummm ok
<knightmare> + ddrbot start 10
<DDRBot> Game Started!
<DDRBot> <
<knightmare> <
<sixtho> <
<DDRBot> ^^
<knightmare> ^^
<sixtho> ^^
<DDRBot> vvv
<knightmare> vvv
<sixtho> wtf
<DDRBot> knightmare wins!
<knightmare> ?
<sixtho> where the shit is the down arrow
<knightmare> ...
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Quote: 756448; Rating: 739; [+|-]
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<@Longcat> Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
<Edible> Thrown out of Windo-
<Edible> ...
* Edible goes to cry.
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Quote: 756534; Rating: 1041; [+|-]
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<AlexMax> holy hell
<AlexMax> i just spent 3 hours working on what's essentially the equivalent of "if then"
<bioXar|K0Li0> AlexMax, i kno i guy who had an exam. the question was "what is bravery?".
<bioXar|K0Li0> he had 4 hours for that exam
<bioXar|K0Li0> he sat 4 hours without writing anything
<bioXar|K0Li0> and in the last minute he wrote
<bioXar|K0Li0> "THIS IS BRAVERY"
<bioXar|K0Li0> and got an A
<bioXar|K0Li0> :)
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Quote: 756642; Rating: 1534; [+|-]
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<SaxxonPike> shit
<SaxxonPike> I turned in a paper today
<SaxxonPike> and just now realized the title said "American Herpes"
<SaxxonPike> instead of "American Heroes"
<SaxxonPike> fuck
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Quote: 756658; Rating: 372; [+|-]
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<RustyBridge> does the NotePad ever run out
<ArtoSaari> lmao?
<RustyBridge> ?
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Quote: 756661; Rating: 464; [+|-]
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<MrKurtz> I intend to get tattooed and/or pierced again in costa rica
<MrKurtz> in keeping with tradition
<JBlitzen\AG> What better to do in the third world then experiment with needles
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Quote: 756664; Rating: -32; [+|-]
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walshy117: im afraid of the internet pr0n
walshy117: its like
walshy117: i was playing around the stove
walshy117: and i got burned
walshy117: now i dont fucking go in the kitchen anymore
walshy117: not saying i was literally beating off in the kitchen of course
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Quote: 756693; Rating: -133; [+|-]
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* ChanServ sets mode: +l 32
* mentalinc has quit IRC (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
* JP has quit IRC (ETG-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com NewZealand.EnterTheGame.Com)
* Envy has quit IRC (ETG-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com NewZealand.EnterTheGame.Com)
* Munkee has quit IRC (ETG-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com NewZealand.EnterTheGame.Com)
* shade_ has quit IRC (ETG-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com NewZealand.EnterTheGame.Com)
* ChanServ sets mode: +l 27
<hoppers99_> bugger for them
* hoppers99_ has quit IRC (ETG-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com NewZealand.EnterTheGame.Com)
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Quote: 756715; Rating: 386; [+|-]
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SpleeGuy: i'm bored
SuperSu: ok let me do something
SpleeGuy: ok
SuperSu signed off
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Quote: 756741; Rating: 305; [+|-]
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epilnivek: I don't know what time i'll be there... i've got a date with ashley and her Wii
epilnivek: that sounds horrible
parabolo: yes it does
epilnivek: but I really do mean the nintendo
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Quote: 756762; Rating: 2620; [+|-]
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The Fishchaser: we should tell the japaneese we found a planet full of giant tentacle monsters and their females are somehow little school girls
The Fishchaser: we'll be going faster than the speed of light in a week
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Quote: 756793; Rating: -52; [+|-]
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<tigrow> if u think its getting to hot masterman
<tigrow> put water on it
<tigrow> use icewater
<tigrow> they need that the first 2 hours or so
<Crimpy> dont forget to jam knives into the back while you do it
<Sacred_> you guys are mean
<Sacred_> yer gonna fuck his box up
<Sacred_> use olive oil
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Quote: 756797; Rating: 652; [+|-]
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<Ralf> programmers and old people have a lot in common.
<Ralf> we're both always looking for ways to control leaks.
<Ralf> and dumps.
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Quote: 757049; Rating: 573; [+|-]
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<Tarnagh> You know why the Clean Air Act was first established?
<Askee> Why
<Tarnagh> So the people in Colorado could see the mountains
<Tarnagh> and so people in California could see each other
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Quote: 757065; Rating: 459; [+|-]
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* TRWBW was taught god doesn't play dice with the universe. not after that drunken night with the devil where he lost classical mechanics in a game of craps.
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Quote: 757181; Rating: 1082; [+|-]
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<knightmare> ugh
<knightmare> wasn't expecting the 'what makes you stick out from other candidates' in a phone interview
<knightmare> I don't think 'I have an afro' was a good answer
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Quote: 757207; Rating: 669; [+|-]
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<iank> I accidentally type valid perl when I'm angry.
<iank> @$#()*UD()IIF#
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Quote: 757250; Rating: 559; [+|-]
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(Deranged): If you're driving a hearse with a corpse in the back, is it ok to use the carpool lane on the highway?
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Quote: 757252; Rating: 632; [+|-]
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<SlyBoy> Your momma's so fat, I had to integrate her by parts.
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Quote: 757584; Rating: 521; [+|-]
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<BethOOC> If it were my dad, he'd be making jokes about being hard-headed.
<BethOOC> After they amputated his toe he joked about having to learn to count in base 19
<Rach> .....
<Rach> Your dad is a dork...
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Quote: 757644; Rating: 806; [+|-]
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Zoolig: I've had enough of weak, indecisive people.
Shoe: I think I have too.
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Quote: 757657; Rating: 942; [+|-]
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<recursive> If being an idiot was illegal, it would probably be easier to keep the criminals outside the jails and use them as fortresses.
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Quote: 757679; Rating: 1241; [+|-]
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<Bob The Plumber>: Some people had a day of silence at our school to raise awareness for something today.
<El Chupacabra>: What were they raising awareness for?
<Bob The Plumber>: I dunno, they wouldn't tell me
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Quote: 757724; Rating: 2539; [+|-]
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<CtrlAltDestroy> Here is my impression of Wikipedia.
<CtrlAltDestroy> "There are five fingers on the human hand [citation needed]"
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Quote: 757871; Rating: 393; [+|-]
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cmk314: i said Civil engineers have the biggest erections
cmk314: Some other guy said mechEs make weapons, civEs make targets
cmk314: and at the exact moment i realized i need to get out of engineering.
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Quote: 757896; Rating: 664; [+|-]
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<Joby-> so i moved into this new neighborhood right
<Joby-> and like
<Joby-> i rode my bike right
<Joby-> and i saw these 2 hot girls
<Joby-> and they saw me and they waved at me
<Joby-> but then i crashed into a parked car :<
<Mkoll> Real ladies man, arn't you?
<Joby-> yeah
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Quote: 757929; Rating: -154; [+|-]
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<SgtBallard> There was this kid back in Junior High that asked our group about how to Masturbate. Well Saint there and I decided to play a joke on him. We told him that the key to jacking it was the firestarter method
<Uberm4cht> fire starter?
<SaintAlvus> Thats when you take your dick in both hands, and rub opposite directions quickly as if you are rubbing a stick to start a fire. Ballard though told the little prick to flick the tip when his dick became numb.
<SgtBallard> Yep, Kid comes back the next week and tells us that he did it until he started bleeding but he never came. That will make me laugh till the day I die.
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Quote: 758032; Rating: 7044; [+|-]
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dftpnkezln: For all of you reporting a score more than 100 as you iq lol @ you. How can you possibly score more than 100%?
dftpnkezln:I'm very happy with my score of 89.
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Quote: 758379; Rating: 9703; [+|-]
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< Alkivar> we're on our way back from partying in NYC over the weekend ... it was like sunday afternoon we're headed back west
< Alkivar> we're cruisin... maybe 130-140mph
< Alkivar> flew past a trooper on the side of the road
< Alkivar> trooper lights up ... siren blasting ... chasing us down the highway
< Alkivar> we're both like should we stop ... there's no way he can catch up to us
< Alkivar> we decided to be good and stop
< Alkivar> cop catches up to us ... comes out gun drawn ... pissed as hell
< Alkivar> walks up to the side of the car and goes
< Alkivar> "SON CAN I SEE YOUR PILOT'S LICENSE"
< Alkivar> Jason pulls out his fucking pilot's license
< Alkivar> cop's jaw hits the fucking ground
< Alkivar> most stunned face I've ever fucking seen
< Alkivar> in this practically a whimper goes "get the fuck out of here"
< Alkivar> no ticket... too embarassed apparently
< Alkivar> I'll never forget that day long as I live
< Alkivar> I was sure we were goin to jail
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Quote: 758565; Rating: 435; [+|-]
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Cataclaw: "You are on day 2135 of your evaluation period"
Cataclaw: o sorry paint shop pro
Cataclaw: mind if i use it one more day?
Tinactin: Were I to ever release a bit of software and have the nerve to charge to "activate" it, I'd have those messages become ruder and ruder as the use progressed past the trial period.
Tinactin: Until, "You motherfucking cunt, why not just pay for the fucking software already? Jesus fucking Christ, what do you think, I coded this shit out of the goodness of my fucking heart? Bullshit, you've been using this shit for a fucking year already, and I haven't gotten a single fucking thank you, let alone
a goddamn cent for it. Fuck you, you worthless, mooching son of a bitch. Fuck you. [Activate] [Continue Unregistered]"
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Quote: 758669; Rating: 199; [+|-]
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<sharquedo> I'm a zombie, braiiinnnssssss
<DemonHeart> I'm homeless, chaaannnggeeeee
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Quote: 758854; Rating: 532; [+|-]
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Hawkins030: Why are people in 90 degree weather so white?
Hawkins030: Because the tan of 90 degrees doesn't exist.
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Quote: 758872; Rating: 101; [+|-]
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<Emmie> Dilt, remember: Life takes VISA, but Death runs on Linux.
<Dilt> no wonder death can't be escaped
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Quote: 758893; Rating: 51; [+|-]
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phractured: why did the emo prostitute make a good carpenter?
phractured: because she knew how to cut and screw!
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Quote: 759102; Rating: 1376; [+|-]
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smack: get that .45
NOFX: looks nice
smack: it's the nicest gun i have ever shot/owned
NOFX: wtf 7 rounds
smack: it's a .45 man
smack: if you need more than 7 .45 rounds, you either can't shoot, or are in WAY over your head
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Quote: 759239; Rating: 220; [+|-]
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<@dagger> did you hear the one about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac?
<@dagger> he stayed up all night wondering if there was a god
<@dagger> er, dog
<@dagger> ffs
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Quote: 759242; Rating: 25; [+|-]
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< xxxt> Hi, how do I join this IRC takeover group? CHANFIX has mad skills
< xxxt> i dont even know how he does it
< xxxt> ;-)
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