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Quote: 682477; Rating: 406; [+|-]
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<b1rdn> WTF are you talking about, courtney love is like the girl next door
<LegenD> yea if you live next to a methadone clinic
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Quote: 683100; Rating: 852; [+|-]
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<pR@y4m0jo> Man, i have to take a huge dump, I have such a backlog of shit I could be a bash moderator.
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Quote: 683143; Rating: 494; [+|-]
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<%spock1104> lmao, some poor bastard in florida had his house burn down thanks to a dell
<+Toba> I would make a joke about needing a firewall on his home box
<+Toba> but that's just too low
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Quote: 683616; Rating: 23; [+|-]
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< soultan> how come when i view the contents of a binary i don't see no 0s and 1s?
< soultan> they don't exist after all?
< soultan> we've been fooled
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Quote: 684045; Rating: 2368; [+|-]
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<Numi> I was having trouble getting screen dumps in unix so I went into #unix and said
<Numi> "Does anyone know how to do a screen dump in unix?"
<Numi> 5 minutes and no reply, so I modify it a bit
<Numi> "Two hot girls are stripping on webcam for me, how do i take a picture to show you guys?"
<Numi> 13 offers of assistance within 2 minutes. Brilliant.
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Quote: 684098; Rating: 709; [+|-]
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<zip> IRC really has terrible markup. So many unclosed tags.
<zip> Oops. </zip>
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Quote: 684273; Rating: 504; [+|-]
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<Oddness> Is it safe to put a 100W lightbulb in a 60W outlet?
<Atma-Mage> Do you enjoy having a face full of glassy shards of red-hot pain?
<Fire_i> Read: Yes, it is.
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Quote: 684453; Rating: 630; [+|-]
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<leoboiko> I wanted to search for that flamewar in which Linus called the Gnome guys "fucking idiots"
<leoboiko> so I googled for "torvalds gnome fucking"
<leoboiko> luckly, google still doesn't give you exactly what you ask for
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Quote: 684758; Rating: 332; [+|-]
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<IanT> is it just me
<IanT> or is it a little creepy that my mp3 player put "call me when you're sober" right next to "date rape"
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Quote: 685013; Rating: 410; [+|-]
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<Warbum> Hey guys, I'm guilty of "intellectual property theft"
<Warbum> The other day, I walked into a library, got out a book, went home, and read it.
<Warbum> And the copywright holders didn't even get a dime!
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Quote: 685122; Rating: 1966; [+|-]
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Faustmaster300:My friend got kicked out of french once.
Faustmaster300:He goes,'Madam! I have a joke for you!'
Faustmaster300:'What is it Zach?'
Faustmaster300:'Why wasn't Jesus born in Paris?'
Faustmaster300:'THEY COULDN'T FIND THREE WISE MEN!'
Faustamster300: and after about 10 min of sitting the hallway, he pops his head back in the door and goes, 'Oh, and they couldn't find a virgin either.'
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Quote: 685262; Rating: 430; [+|-]
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<Bushka|W0rkzo0rz> so i ditched her didnt answer her calls etc
<Bushka|W0rkzo0rz> and she totally brushed me
<Bushka|W0rkzo0rz> and hooked up with my mate
<joop`> so you fucked him to make her jealous?
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Quote: 685293; Rating: 2363; [+|-]
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<blotch> heres a cool office trick
<blotch> unscrew the speaker part of your coworkers phone and throw in a roll of quarters and seal it back up
<blotch> then after about 2 months of them being used to the weight remove the coins when they're away
<blotch> and watch them lift the phone the next time someone calls and bash themselves in the face
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Quote: 685827; Rating: 1489; [+|-]
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<cheater> legal drinking age in poland is "i have 3 dollars"
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Quote: 685900; Rating: -10; [+|-]
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Corey: that butterfinger commercial
Corey: has got to be the worst marketing idea i've ever heard of
PfhorRunner: which?
Corey: it's got that hand with the orange index finger
Corey: and every time i see it
Corey: i can't help but think someone took it in the ass
Corey: or the ear
Corey: or somewhere their finger was NOT supposed to go
PfhorRunner: LOL
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Quote: 685939; Rating: 1500; [+|-]
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<pmcall221> I'm wondering when Windows will work they they say it will.
<Kittyflipping> You're criticizing millions of lines of code and you can't even get one sentence right?
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Quote: 686031; Rating: 508; [+|-]
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<Nano> Is it "cheating" or wrong to mastubate over another chick when your married?
<Syco> thats like asking is it rape if they smile?
<Nano> wtf... no its not :/
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Quote: 686184; Rating: 114; [+|-]
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F4T4L: by making TV's bigger all we're doing is making black people stronger
F4T4L: soon they'll rule the world
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Quote: 686305; Rating: 723; [+|-]
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actualism: if you bet an emo kid 20 bucks that he won't kill himself, you'll either be 20 bucks richer or break even
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Quote: 686488; Rating: 436; [+|-]
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greyfox80988: The average American spends 6 years in the bathroom, and 6 months at a stoplight.
greyfox80988: I want to know who figures this stuff out o_o
greyfox80988: Cause that's what I'm gonna be when I grow up ^_^
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Quote: 686929; Rating: 689; [+|-]
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<ArianaK> I want my money back.
<ArianaK> I forgot the name of the tea I'm drinking thats supposed to help your memory
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Quote: 687224; Rating: 27; [+|-]
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9mm: I suppose Steve Irwin should have worn sunblock to protect from harmful rays.
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Quote: 687535; Rating: 555; [+|-]
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xxnjbeauty23xx: im also short
xxnjbeauty23xx: but its a good thing for me because im jewish
xxnjbeauty23xx: which means im closer to the pennies
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Quote: 687603; Rating: 752; [+|-]
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<ad_man> ya so me and mitch were sittin in english
<ad_man> and we always had a habit of writing dumb stuff in each other's books
<ad_man> so he writes in my book "adam is a fagget"
<ad_man> what we didn't know was that the teacher was standing behind us
<ad_man> so she says
<ad_man> "it's spelled -ot", and just walked on
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Quote: 687845; Rating: 815; [+|-]
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<Linuxgeek> How do i find the model of my card?
<Serena[T]> your nick is misleading, seriously
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Quote: 688227; Rating: 731; [+|-]
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<Dro0> i dont wanna be alarmist here
<Dro0> but i'm prety sure that the guy trying to configure the core router in chicago
<Dro0> is googling "subnetting"
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Quote: 688766; Rating: 361; [+|-]
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puffster: Can you really start a sentence with "With almost 100% accuracy..."?
killdbykangeroos: I think I'm positive you can.
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Quote: 688824; Rating: 332; [+|-]
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<MALF> ebay is where cocaine addicts sell things for profit
<tak> thats what pawn shops are for
<tak> ebay takes too long
<tak> need crack NOW
<spun> but you actually need shit to sell at pawn shops
<spun> ebay you can sell a picture of a laptop
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Quote: 689328; Rating: 948; [+|-]
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Chico: i would never consider her at all
Chico: shes like 100% emo
Chico: to the bone
QueenRen24: aww, but emo kids are so cut
QueenRen24: e
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Quote: 689386; Rating: 279; [+|-]
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<total_meltdown> Writing to an NTFS filesystem in Linux is like using Windows ME - you /can/ but when it bombs and you lose everything, nobody will feel sorry for you.
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Quote: 689481; Rating: 367; [+|-]
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<jcm> would having a woman as the main character change anything?
<jcm> it would still be GTA
<gwizz> yeah
<gwizz> grand theft alimony
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Quote: 689521; Rating: 788; [+|-]
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<r34en> i'll show her.. one day when i'm 1337 i'll have my own channel and she'll beg me to op her
<r34en> do you know what i'll say
<gary> "how do you add ops?"
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Quote: 689719; Rating: 79; [+|-]
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<andreaskem> All this washin powder pretending to make your clothes whiter
<andreaskem> One day I will invent one that really works
<andreaskem> And I'm going to call it "white pow(d)er"
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Quote: 689789; Rating: -30; [+|-]
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(Jani) the wii is going to get raped in the console war
(Jani) unless xbox360's start exploding like dell laptops
(%Ransom) ps3 will destroy everything
(Jani) including your wallet
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Quote: 690820; Rating: 90; [+|-]
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<freznel> hey got a computer question, if my mother board requires 5 volts, what size power supplies can I use
<seeess> you cant go above the voltage rating on your motherboard
<seeess> so you need a <5v psu
<seeess> or you can use a standard PSU and only plug it in half way
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Quote: 690961; Rating: 477; [+|-]
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<Uki> i don't feel much different, this whole being 21 thing
<Aphelion_> in that case, you did it wrong. go back and try again, this time with more vodka.
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Quote: 691240; Rating: 336; [+|-]
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OhTheCommotion: This "Comedy Central presents..." was brought to me by Windows Vista
OhTheCommotion: But this show came on at the time it was scheduled to come on
OhTheCommotion: So someone is lying to me.
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Quote: 692014; Rating: 716; [+|-]
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<Makenshi`> the creator of the qwerty keyboard must have had a fetish
<Makenshi`> I don't think it's a coincidence that you can type 'stewardess' with one hand
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Quote: 692739; Rating: 717; [+|-]
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<BigNTall> Ohhhh Kay... I'm on some clothing seller forums, and a common theme is how to get a stain out of an otherwise perfect garment. Someone posted a "Guide to removing stains from children's clothing". Possible stains include liquor, wine, and semen
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Quote: 693037; Rating: 1203; [+|-]
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ChaosPid: She was already mad at me and she yelled "I'm gonna kill you"
ChaosPid: and I responded....
ChaosPid: "This is wierd, I swear to god I just heard you offer to make me a cake, but the words didnt match up with your lips at all........but chocolate, I suppose."
Curt: What'd she do?
ChaosPid: She looked like she was gonna die... left the room and then came back a few minutes later.... in a rage.
Curt: LOL.
ChaosPid: I then told her she shouldnt have left, if she wanted to go to the store to buy ingredients, she knew she would need a man to drive her to the store, and then I called her silly.
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Quote: 693046; Rating: 1066; [+|-]
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<Royall> My "e" k y is brok n
<Royall> Oh wait.
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Quote: 693049; Rating: 1226; [+|-]
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<squipple_> hey!
<squipple_> who's got my name with underscore
<_aa_> !
<squipple_> kick them pls
<squipple_> oh wait, I can..hahaha
<_aa_> I don't get it
* squipple_ was kicked by squipple_ (Kick)
<_aa_> lol
<_aa_> did he just kick himself?
<Znarl> There's a good argument against drinking and IRCing.
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Quote: 693061; Rating: 332; [+|-]
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TANNER3000: I decided I'd try Meatball Marinara today.
TANNER3000: It's good, but no cigar.
Luigigamer Golem: You're abusing the idiom.
TANNER3000: No, I meant you'd have a hard time smoking it.
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Quote: 693244; Rating: 431; [+|-]
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<addeman> after some bad experiences with fat chicks I no longer ask their asl
<addeman> instead I ask for their BMI
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Quote: 693565; Rating: 302; [+|-]
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<Ant_> yay. my loan came through. my bank balance is no longer preceeded by a "-".
<SC> You should've tried depositing a negative amount of money.
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Quote: 693937; Rating: 652; [+|-]
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<Swiich> greatest thing ever in 20th century history today in school
<Swiich> teacher was going on about the million man march
<Swiich> this kid raises his hand and says "don't you mean the 600 000 man march?"
<Swiich> teacher says "no, why?"
<Swiich> "well, 600 000 is 3/5ths of a million"
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Quote: 694073; Rating: 582; [+|-]
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<gwizz> so i broke our microwave today
<gwizz> luckily best buy still sold the same model
<gwizz> so i go get it, bring it home, set it up, and hide the box in my car
<gwizz> my parents get back and my mom goes 'did you clean the microwave?'
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Quote: 694289; Rating: 897; [+|-]
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<PinkeyPooh> my wireless connection is going slower then 2 turtles fucking in jello
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Quote: 694493; Rating: 529; [+|-]
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Brendan: A client of mine wants a cheesy backup solution
jbailey999: Cheese is no good as a data storage medium. It's unstable at room temperature.
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Quote: 694821; Rating: 2126; [+|-]
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<Telius> Nobody escapes the Spanish Inquisition!
<codepoet> \S\p\a\n\i\s\h\ \I\q\u\i\s\i\t\i\o\n
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