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Quote: 672549; Rating: 612; [+|-]
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<MLu> how clever of me
<MLu> to go out drinking today
<MLu> i work tomorrow
<MLu> how's that for a drunken haiku
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Quote: 672555; Rating: 606; [+|-]
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<@Fallaware> oh fuck
<@Fallaware> apparently you can't select 3 gigs of mps and do "play in foobar"
<@Fallaware> I have like 10,000 instances of foobar running
<@Fallaware> holy fucking shit.
<@Fallaware> I don't know what to do about this
<@Fallaware> except restart.
<@Fallaware> this has to be the best argument for foobar
<@Fallaware> 10000 instances does not cause significant slowdown.
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Quote: 672642; Rating: 12; [+|-]
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arcanis41190: im so pissed that i spilled chlorine on my shorts
arcanis41190: it was a good pair too
arcanis41190: not even a sharpie is working
arcanis41190: magic marker my ass
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Quote: 672690; Rating: 538; [+|-]
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<Paragon> :j
<Metal_Massacre> is that supposed to be a happy guy with herpes?
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Quote: 672706; Rating: 1464; [+|-]
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<Kaleidoscope> Alright, so this hermaphrodite walks into a bar..
<r3c0n> go fuck urself
<Kaleidoscope> Oh, so you've heard this one before..
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Quote: 672988; Rating: 1438; [+|-]
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<kam`> you know... i used to have a crush on you
<Katie> Oh? and what did you learn?
<kam`> i have very low standards
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Quote: 673012; Rating: 334; [+|-]
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<Dezner> that was the bitchiest security sticker I've ever removed from a CD case :x
<Blackjak> what CD?
<Dezner> Excel Saga Great Experiment 2 :O
<Blackjak> ...I was going to say something about whatever band being hardass
<Blackjak> but fuck man, get laid
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Quote: 673097; Rating: 208; [+|-]
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<FrogboY> i hate this, i have pretty much no transfer limit for the next 9 days and can't think of anything to download
<Rambo_6> get a virus
<Rambo_6> or fill your harddrive with beastiality
<Rambo_6> whichever comes first
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Quote: 673145; Rating: 280; [+|-]
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Dudespunk7: 90% of domestic abuse happens due to shitty compaq products.
Dudespunk7: They don't want to ruin their expensive shit so they take it out on the wife, or kids.
Famethrow1: and because that bitch doesn't vacuum.
Dudespunk7: Exactly.
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Quote: 673211; Rating: 1058; [+|-]
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Pugsley: someone called me from a bar last night and I don't know who
Pugsley: the song hip hop hooray was playing
Pugsley: so they may have been calling from 1992
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Quote: 673290; Rating: 336; [+|-]
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<terminal> sir you must do it
<terminal> and film it
<Tark-Indy> yeah my flatmate is in there whipping the weasel and I go kool-aid man on him
<Tark-Indy> OH YEAH
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Quote: 673372; Rating: 1988; [+|-]
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itchy92: Aha! I figured out why all the 1337 hackers in movies use Linux.
theNihil: Um, because it's mysterious and unknown to mainstream movie viewers?
itchy92: No, man. It generates so much output so easily.
itchy92: Need a scrolling console window to make it look like you're doing something? Type any nonsensical word with a verbose switch and BAM! you've got scrolling text for like 3 hours. So it seems like you're engaging in some hardcore NSA decrypting when in fact, you're compiling ksolitaire or something.
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Quote: 673540; Rating: 196; [+|-]
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<Sohcahtoa> When I first saw that image, I said "This is so obviously photoshopped. NOBODY has a nutsack that hangs THAT low."
<Yosh|Surf> wait
<Yosh|Surf> how did my girlfriends picture get back into discussion?
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Quote: 673771; Rating: 2386; [+|-]
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< Codegen> one day my gf and I were watching TV, when the news reports came on talking about how there were suicide bombers in london, and how they destroyed the transit system. The news reporters said that these bombing were similar to the previous suicide bombings from a week before. Then my gf turns to me and asks,
"Do you think that they are the same suicide bombers?"
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Quote: 673833; Rating: 716; [+|-]
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<nmopal> Now if I had to follow a religion it would be whatever them clapping black people follow.
<nmopal> That looks fun.
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Quote: 673877; Rating: -14; [+|-]
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<cy> so i went to the store and bought some hebrew national hot dogs right
<borndbad> huh?
<borndbad> wtf is that?
<cy> and i got home.. and i look.. there's fuckin 7 hot dogs in the pack
<cy> not 8 like a normal pack, but 7
<cy> im like fuck the jews jewed me again
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Quote: 673912; Rating: 816; [+|-]
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<@Raeven0> What's the difference between array $_GET and array $_REQUEST
<+Matrixfan> one is polite
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Quote: 674006; Rating: 267; [+|-]
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Madrigal: I once went to an Applebee's with my ex-boyfriend.
Madrigal: We had this waitress named Jinko.
Madrigal: He accidentally called her Plinko.
Madrigal: She came back with five coasters.
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Quote: 674136; Rating: 1039; [+|-]
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<BrettBits> My website's stat counter uses Javascript to detect whether or not my viewers have Javascript enabled.
<BrettBits> Naturally, it appears that 100% of the people visiting my website have Javascript enabled.
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Quote: 674262; Rating: 1852; [+|-]
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<Jesus> The guy does not understand the concept of the "Shift" key
<Noser> the what key/
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Quote: 674312; Rating: 1174; [+|-]
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<Truin> anyone seen Bush lately?
<Espresso> nope
<Espresso> wait
<Espresso> the band, the man, or the body part?
<Truin> take your pick
<Espresso> the answer is still nope
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Quote: 674379; Rating: -52; [+|-]
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<fonz> that's all black people are
<fonz> they're white people with chocolate instead of blood
<stav> hence all the stabbings
<fonz> exactly they are just looking for the golden ticket
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Quote: 674532; Rating: 1274; [+|-]
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Dev100666: I bet in 1997 you would not have guessed you would be getting married before duke nukem forever came out
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Quote: 674686; Rating: 383; [+|-]
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chickenrising: if playing an actual guitar picks up girls, playing a video game about playing the guitar is sure to pick up some sort of girl... it only makes sense
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Quote: 674745; Rating: 429; [+|-]
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<Kansas|Working> I went to the Isle of Wight Once too, there was this guy there who had one leg and was jumping down the street, it was funny, reminded me of a pogo-stick.
<Jochta> Oh, so yuo find disabled people funny?
<Kansas|Working> Only if they remind me of a garden toy.
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Quote: 674850; Rating: 677; [+|-]
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<drev> how was your weekend?
<LaDyLoVe> amazing! my friends threw a surprise party for my birthday :)
<drev> fuck the closest thing ive ever had to a surprise party was a fucking intervention
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Quote: 675020; Rating: 511; [+|-]
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<Pseudoof_The_Goat> can somebody help me?
<Pseudoof_The_Goat> i know linux is more secure
<Pseudoof_The_Goat> but i can't run linux because i still need windows
<Pseudoof_The_Goat> i want to install the linux version of firefox on windows
<Pseudoof_The_Goat> anybody know how?
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Quote: 675073; Rating: 1245; [+|-]
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<chaz> I had to recompile our software to pick up the new libraries etc
<chaz> we then hit an issue with connectivity to the database server
<chaz> but thats what i fixed (i hope) this morning, so we'll see :)
* Twitch crosses her fingers for you
<chaz> my apologies, I didn't realise you were female.
<chaz> I should turn my geek off. :/
<Twitch> I'm in Physics, don't bother
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Quote: 675097; Rating: 632; [+|-]
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<JaKa> In soviet russia, you must kill a kitten to masturbate
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Quote: 675105; Rating: 956; [+|-]
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<kan> the nigerian government has orderd 1,000,000 of those "100 dollar laptops" for its people.
<kan> just what we need more nigerians sending email.
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Quote: 675122; Rating: 295; [+|-]
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<Falc0> i am gonna start a new bussiness,
<Falc0> skydiving for pedophiles
<Falc0> make em pay in advance cash only
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Quote: 675190; Rating: 547; [+|-]
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<postlogic> You should -never- go back and look at spur-of-the-moment written code.
<postlogic> It's like watching yourself throw up in replay.
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Quote: 675555; Rating: 792; [+|-]
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<Rjx> i'm a mac
<Rjx> and i'm a pc
<Rjx> and we're both irritating faggots
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Quote: 675557; Rating: 1007; [+|-]
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<nilson> I have 4.5 gallons of beer
<nilson> for my after prom party
<Advil> that's a lot of beer
<Advil> for two guys
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Quote: 675691; Rating: 743; [+|-]
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<Swiich> remember how I went to the hospital on tuesday?
<Swiich> I screwed up my liver from chugging an entire bottle of cough syrup to trip
<_nosiop> without reading the label for other active ingredients or checking what they do online?
<Swiich> um...
<Swiich> yeah
<_nosiop> 15 minutes of research could have saved you 15% liver function or more
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Quote: 675703; Rating: 1817; [+|-]
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<svinx> yknow when you go to a party, and everyones hooked up except one guy and one girl
<svinx> and so they look at each other like.. do we have to?
<svinx> intel & nvidia must be lookin at each other like that right now
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Quote: 675734; Rating: 1211; [+|-]
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Chris: I hate the way flash slows browsers down
Steve: Try java, that slows it down much better
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Quote: 675885; Rating: 846; [+|-]
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<D1_> in third grade
<D1_> I saw this girl have a seizure and spasm on the floor
<D1_> and man did her tongue go down her throat
<D1_> now that I think of it
<D1_> it was kind of sexy
<twin> what the FUCK
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Quote: 676032; Rating: 1159; [+|-]
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<Epic> how are^things?
<Epic> I've been up 48 hours now ;_;
<Dr_Ian> is that why you typoed the space bar as shift and 6?
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Quote: 676189; Rating: 2729; [+|-]
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Jefferson: FOR SOME REASON MY PASSWORD ON HOTMAIL WON WORK
Mymuffinfatty: do you have caps lock on?
Jefferson: oh
Jefferson: nevermind.
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Quote: 676384; Rating: 1633; [+|-]
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<PhantomSkyfire> I was practicing with crutches and broke my leg.
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Quote: 676535; Rating: 1850; [+|-]
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RonilWazlib: man that sucked
RonilWazlib: if your girlfriend tells you she feels fat and hugs you for moral support, do not start jiggling her butt in an attempt to find the natural frequency of fat
RonilWazlib: and if she asks, DO NOT tell her what you are doing
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Quote: 676621; Rating: 512; [+|-]
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<Cob`Onsite> unfortunately when i leave here, i must go to a church with a 90 year old secretary
<Ridgey_wtf> church? what's that?
<ragtop> its similar to a mental hospital, but with less physical restraints
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Quote: 676664; Rating: 262; [+|-]
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<cloud1> if warez is too expensive for you, maybe the internet isnt a wise investment for you either
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Quote: 676711; Rating: 491; [+|-]
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* Fragalot moo's loudly at Naib
<Naib> *BANG*
* Naib goes to have steak
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Quote: 676781; Rating: 472; [+|-]
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A[S]Vicious: Dude.. I fell asleep last night when I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone.. She was masturbating to my voice, and started talking about how her big vibrator was stuck, and she couldn't get it out.
A[S]Vicious: And I fell asleep..
A[S]Vicious: It was awesome
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Quote: 676794; Rating: 511; [+|-]
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renol07: yo whats up
renol07: yo what up
renol07: what happen yo click
wryterra: "what happen yo click"? what the hell is that?
wryterra: I'm afraid I don't speak moron.
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Quote: 676795; Rating: 990; [+|-]
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neeley_09: I just realized that I'm kind of a rarity on IRC...
diablo: What do you mean?
neeley_09: Well, I actually play aports sometimes, and I do things with people, except in real life
diablo: Hey, not everyone on IRC is a geek
neeley_09: What's the biggest thing you've done today?
diablo: I played Oblivion for a few hours, I guess
neeley_09: ....
neeley_09: You can't even lie about it?
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Quote: 676796; Rating: 234; [+|-]
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<Osiris_69> we cant be a couple because she wont agree to oral sex before mariage
<Osiris_69> catholic chinese, who is the ass who converted them? im gona kill those fuckers
<AntiZzZ> i dated one of em
<AntiZzZ> she never gave it up in like 8 months
<AntiZzZ> she was rich tho
<Poppet-> damn
<Poppet-> 8 months
<Osiris_69> on the 9th month anti?
<AntiZzZ> we broke up
<_hit> she had a black baby
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Quote: 676801; Rating: 769; [+|-]
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<tokenshi> does anyone seriously use realplayer anymore?
<mef> yes
<Freddie> I thought they died :o
<RvLeshrac> They're doing extraordinarily well
<tokenshi> i believe i still have an audio clip buffering from 1999 in realplayer
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