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Quote: 650665; Rating: -65; [+|-]
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Nerdmaster I always say backups are for losers anyway.
Nerdmaster I don't believe in "backing up" data. My data moves forward, never backward.
Nerdmaster I'm a forward thinker. A real e-enabler of data.
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Quote: 650684; Rating: 1235; [+|-]
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<cathy_n> That's because processed food is so manipulative.
<Yawgatog> Sometimes chicken nuggets force me into situations I am uncomfortable with.
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Quote: 650829; Rating: 1010; [+|-]
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spaceinvader455: some people smash guitars after rock concerts
spaceinvader455: I smash keyboards after I type up a school project
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Quote: 650907; Rating: 862; [+|-]
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<bill> neo is spending all his time fixing his new van
<Kevin> If its new, why does it need fixing?
<bill> Kevin: heh, if you asked that question about software, it would sound completely idiotic
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Quote: 651010; Rating: 1871; [+|-]
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<pengrate> Because, contrary to Window's opinion, searching the internet for ethernet drivers does not go over so well
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Quote: 651293; Rating: 1299; [+|-]
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<Vanion> where is everybody from in here?
<NemoMac> Indiana
<Vanion> am I the only american?
<NemoMac> Last time I checked, Indiana was in the USA..
<Vanion> wtf?
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Quote: 651378; Rating: 585; [+|-]
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ThPhox: Dude...there's free Cinemax, and there's porn on.
ThPhox: AAAAnd it's anal.
ThPhox: *does the field goal sign*
SNAPEK1LSDMBLDOR: He shoots, wrong goalll!!!!!!
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Quote: 651404; Rating: 365; [+|-]
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<Random> I wanna do a cpu stress test
<Valaris> please to install norton antivirus
<Valaris> aol
<Valaris> and windows
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Quote: 651411; Rating: 189; [+|-]
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<Baloo> Supermarkets should have a newbie lane for the self-checkout.
<Baloo> "If you're a loser who hasn't seen the bag boy scan shit at the checkout before, and you've never bought a soda from a vending machine in your life, use this line."
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Quote: 651418; Rating: 240; [+|-]
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<Hroth> http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8795795223394289910
<Hroth> bush's family supported the nazi's
<videogameaholic> you know who didn't support the nazi's? jews. look what happened to them.
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Quote: 651467; Rating: 506; [+|-]
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* kafiend sets mode: -o kafiend
<kafiend> with beer comes great irresponsibility
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Quote: 652012; Rating: 2334; [+|-]
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<Brenty> You know, I think the media really fucked up when they called it "software piracy"
<Brenty> Everyone WANTS to be a pirate
<Brenty> If they'd called it "software faggotry" everyone would still buy all their shit
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Quote: 652068; Rating: 1130; [+|-]
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<yadrisil> Quit being emo.
<alexsavage> i'm not emo, the glass is half full
<yadrisil> Half full... with tears.
<alexsavage> ;_;
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Quote: 652212; Rating: 625; [+|-]
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<fholmes> My 8 month daughter was given her first taste of Gentoo today.
<fholmes> Literally as she ate my boot cd.
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Quote: 652221; Rating: 645; [+|-]
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<lunchbox> so get this
<lunchbox> i delivered pizza to the Microshaft building today but I couldn't park close to the door because they have all these fancy picnic tables out back for their employees
<lunchbox> so they're standing there watching me carry all these pizzas to them and I finally get to the door and they stiff me. nothing.
<fallingdogs> are you surprised?
<lunchbox> next time they order I'm going to send them a bunch of empty boxes
<lunchbox> and write stop messages inside
<lunchbox> "0x0000000A" ...
<lunchbox> "INVALID_PROCESS_ATTACH_TIP"
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Quote: 652242; Rating: 460; [+|-]
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<Nofrag> It's bullshit, the police won't do a fucking thing. They destroyed one of the transformers now the power's out for twelve blocks
<bawheid> It obviously wasn't one of the better transformers
<bawheid> Optimus Prime, say
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Quote: 652284; Rating: 762; [+|-]
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<CaCtus491> omg
<CaCtus491> I think I have just met the dumbest courier ever
<CaCtus491> I receive parcel
<CaCtus491> Courier hand me a palm/PDA style device for signature
<CaCtus491> Courier hands me a ball point pen to sign with
<CaCtus491> I look at screen and see lots of ink and scratches from previous signatures
<CaCtus491> I smile and say thankyou politely, slowly back away and close the door
<CaCtus491> before breaking into hysterics
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Quote: 652381; Rating: 893; [+|-]
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Chutt: my wife drops an earring down the bathroom sink
Chutt: so i take the sink apart and get it back
Chutt: while i'm hooking everything back up, she helpfully cleans out the bucket i used under the drain
Chutt: of course, i called out "it's in the bucket" after she took it
Chutt: but apparently that didn't register. so i got to take apart the basement drain
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Quote: 652425; Rating: 1091; [+|-]
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<justie> i did something stupid
<justie> chmod -x chmod
<justie> anyone knows how to fix it?
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Quote: 652454; Rating: 895; [+|-]
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<godgrrl43> killing babies before they're born is murder!
<azlo335> I think abortions should be allowed up until two years after the baby is born
<greggk> the splatter pattern on the wall is more satisfying after they're out anyway
** godgrrl143 has left the room
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Quote: 652472; Rating: 809; [+|-]
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<Jlax> So we were watching this D.A.R.E. video in health
<Jlax> and they did that thing that they always do.
<Jlax> You know, when they're like,
<Jlax> "If you smoke, THIS will happen to YOU!"
<Jlax> And then they show a picture of a black person.
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Quote: 652619; Rating: 551; [+|-]
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<Commander> whoa that's not good
<Commander> the end of my mobile plug (plugged into the USB port on my PC) was sitting in the side of a potplant IN WATER
<Commander> i pulled it out and it said "new usb device found"
<Commander> =/
<Commander> dunno how long it's been sitting there for
<CompHobbyist> new USB device found: potted plant v.001
<CompHobbyist> power usage for this device: -10W
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Quote: 652626; Rating: 369; [+|-]
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<-- djjkotze_home has quit (Quit: setlife -> work())
<lordvetinari> that's not only sad, but syntactically incorrect
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Quote: 652730; Rating: 544; [+|-]
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<heywood_jablomi> A lady came in today with her resume written down on notebook paper by hand and asked me if I could help her "copy and paste it onto the internet."
<my_smelly_funk> lmao
<heywood_jablomi> It was 4:30-ish and I leave at 5, so I told her to hold it up against her monitor for about 45 mins and it would copy itself onto the internet.
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Quote: 652810; Rating: 424; [+|-]
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<Kiell> My system clock is gaining one minute every twelve hours.
<Kiell> As a result, I'm completing tasks slightly quicker than normal.
<Kiell> I don't like it.
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Quote: 652817; Rating: 629; [+|-]
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mysteryparabola3 : at work today, my boss and another guy were talking about their status on the computer
mysteryparabola3 : and my boss say "oh crap, i'm Amber" and the other guy says "yeah, i used to be Amber"
mysteryparabola3 : and i said "yeah, before the operation"
mysteryparabola3 : he just stared at me
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Quote: 652858; Rating: 296; [+|-]
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<Forcepath> i need advice!
<Forcepath> on second thought: asking for advice in IRC is one of the classic movie blunders...
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Quote: 652870; Rating: 133; [+|-]
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<Gargoyle> seriously, between dance dance whatthefuck, singstar, and now this, what the fuck is actually wrong with asian people?
<Gargoyle> I blame the americans, after all the japanese people are the only ones to have ever been nuked
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Quote: 653083; Rating: 613; [+|-]
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<SSmith> Wow, I was just watching this porno, and the people in it had the same monitor as I used to
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Quote: 653097; Rating: 623; [+|-]
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lprocks: can you link me to a place that i can download roms?
Kow: www.google.com
lprocks: der i tried and it kept taking me to different sites
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Quote: 653125; Rating: 320; [+|-]
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<Royall> Hey everyone, did you know it's illegal to destroy coins or bills?
<Royall> Those are the govenment's, they are just lending it to you.
<Monstro> Which means they can take it back at any moment!
<Royall> Yea
<Royall> It's called tax.
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Quote: 653227; Rating: 378; [+|-]
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Kristopolous: I don't think we should have thermometers, speedometers, or odometers.
Kristopolous: This is America damn it!
Kristopolous: Thermofeet, speedofeet, and odofeet for me, thank you very much!
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Quote: 653295; Rating: 761; [+|-]
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<lostmx89> ok i like this torrent thing but when you turn off your computer how do you make sure it is still downlowding
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Quote: 653631; Rating: 488; [+|-]
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<vintendo> yesterday we had to pull the plug on my grandma, i needed the outlet for my laptop.
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Quote: 653759; Rating: 592; [+|-]
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<Ian-W> lesbian porn
<Ian-W> actually lesbian/gay porn
<Ian-W> because its like two girls that are guys
<CK-[away]> what would you call 2 hermaphrodites
<Ian-W> tetris
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Quote: 653828; Rating: 1943; [+|-]
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<reva> so I was babysitting my cousin's kid the other day. who's like, 15 months old.
<reva> he was trying to get up on the computer chair, so i put him up there.
<reva> he just starts randomly banging on the keyboard randomly
<reva> and the first thing that pops up says "Are you sure you want to delete Internet Explorer?"
<reva> I hit "no" (because it's my parents computer).
<reva> so he starts hitting more keys...
<reva> the next thing that comes up: "Are you sure you want to delete Outlook Express?"
<reva> ...I've never had more hope for humanity than that moment.
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Quote: 653976; Rating: 1308; [+|-]
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<Leonn> Apparently the military has been experimenting with lasers that are supposed to fire at the speed of light.
<Glaive> No shit.
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Quote: 654066; Rating: 245; [+|-]
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<Dann> this is so sad...
<Dann> i want to find the "super mario bros movie" on limewire, just for old times' sake... but guess what my first search result is?
<Dann> the 40 year old virgin
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Quote: 654091; Rating: 334; [+|-]
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<Zahava> <3<3happy valentines everybody!!<3<3
<@Silva> Roses are Red
<@Silva> Violets are Blue
<@Silva> i could never love you
<@Silva> because you're 1/16 jew
* Zahava has quit IRC (quit: )
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Quote: 654170; Rating: 2026; [+|-]
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D1v1d3 8y Z3r0: i got owned by my bio TA earlier in the year
D1v1d3 8y Z3r0: she was like "So, what are some possible effects from mutated genes?"
D1v1d3 8y Z3r0: i said "Well, it could cause different coding of proteins, or it could cause you to develop special powers, like retractable claws from your hands"
D1v1d3 8y Z3r0: the TA was like, "Wrong. Those claws are government implants. Wolverine's mutant power is his healing ability."
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Quote: 654551; Rating: 20; [+|-]
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<Seraph> wow, on gamefaqs, they have this "top 10 games that work on mac"
<Seraph> I didn't even know there were games that would run on macs
<Zack> Well now that macs can boot windows they're not quite as useless
<Seraph> true, but it's just creepy, like a polo player going to nascar
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Quote: 654603; Rating: 951; [+|-]
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<blazemore> my brother is in a quake3 clan
<blazemore> and he had a ctf game tonight
<blazemore> we were walking out of tilt
<blazemore> his friend goes "dude hurry up, you're gonna be late for you clan meeting"
<blazemore> and these black guys were walking by
<blazemore> and looked like they were about to kick our asses
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Quote: 654608; Rating: 702; [+|-]
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Charmaine----: I'm a 26 year old single mom ;-)
Kolobos Psychi: Holy crap! a black women IMed me! @_@
Charmaine----: How did you know I was black?
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Quote: 654674; Rating: 1055; [+|-]
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<sh4ve> hehe, i wrote a assembly proggy to convert normal numbers to roman ^^
<GodOfGoats> You are so MCCCXXXVII
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Quote: 654677; Rating: 103; [+|-]
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Begging to Limp: heh
Begging to Limp: so, apparently al gore's last speech on global warming flopped badly
Begging to Limp: he gave a speech last winter in new york city on global warming
Begging to Limp: the result? -1 degree fahrenheit average temperature for the day, the coldest day in new york's history
Begging to Limp: when mother nature disagrees, she proves it
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Quote: 654788; Rating: 249; [+|-]
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<Sid> I'm running a joke so far into the ground it'll become the next major oil supply.
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Quote: 654797; Rating: 501; [+|-]
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<Greenbox> the place i ordered chicken parmesan from forgot the chicken
<Greenbox> so instead of calling and complaining, like a normal person would
<Greenbox> I used asterisk and called them from the number of the department of health
<Greenbox> and told them a random screening of their food had just been conducted, and they failed miserably
<Greenbox> so they were ordered not to serve food until an inspection later today
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Quote: 654840; Rating: 320; [+|-]
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<Kero> I'm so emo i wear square contacts.
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Quote: 655055; Rating: 940; [+|-]
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<Heiler> I feel stupid asking this, but how many pints are in a cup?
<Swinky> it depends on how big the cup is
<Heiler> Thanks, suddenly I don't feel so stupid.
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Quote: 655064; Rating: 988; [+|-]
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sw0813: you know, the movie ray really was inspiring
sw0813: he was blind, and yet still managed to hit his wife
sw0813: that means either of two things:
sw0813: 1. his wife was stupid or
sw0813: 2. he wasnt really blind
sw0813: i mean seriously, was it like "marco," "polo" WHAM!
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