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Quote: 655157; Rating: 380; [+|-]
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<Eddo36> sometimes I feel like shit, you know, what sick shit I get off to. but I can't change
<Littlelisa> You know eddo, if you never said anything, people may like you
<Eddo36> if i never said anything, who would know me?
<Littlelisa> thats the point
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Quote: 655201; Rating: 509; [+|-]
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<Beowulf> ever since I switched to wireless I get disconnected whenever I get a phone call
<Beowulf> :(
<squirrel_remote> What's your phone number?
<Beowulf> fuck you
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Quote: 655302; Rating: 1227; [+|-]
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<Orphic> you any good at physics?
<meowcow> when i run into a wall i usually stop
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Quote: 655324; Rating: 673; [+|-]
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<kosh> we have a bug that occurs on the 31st of a month
<kosh> so once a month we get a bug report
<kosh> it gets assigned to a developer within 24 hours
<kosh> who then fiddles for a bit before marking it "unable to reproduce"
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Quote: 655518; Rating: 268; [+|-]
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<Rolan> I think black people on TV is illegal in Texas
<CatSkills> and it will remain so until they televise executions
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Quote: 655627; Rating: 417; [+|-]
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<Nacho> So, you have several types of tourist: You have the "I'm on vacation, so I'm just gonna relax" types, that just wear comfy clothes.
<Nacho> You then have the "I'm in some place special, so I'm going to dress nice" types.
<Nacho> And then you have the "What happens in $location stays in $location, so I'm going to dress like an exhibitionist slut" types. I like those... ;-)
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Quote: 655652; Rating: 784; [+|-]
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Sleepaholic88: >>>
Sleepaholic88: Err. I tried to capitalize a period so it would be bigger.
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Quote: 655659; Rating: 177; [+|-]
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<Shadow> A super computer running on Windows XP? Thats like a tight rope walker walking on barbed wire...
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Quote: 655706; Rating: 1086; [+|-]
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<AwwJeah> I want to fill a super soaker with cheap vodka and spray down other drivers.
<AwwJeah> Then call the police and tell them I think they're driving drunk.
<AwwJeah> Because, seriously, who would believe that story?
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Quote: 655775; Rating: 401; [+|-]
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<codyryan> because men, have problem controlling their testosterone
<Skiz> not me I'm a pretty good shot.
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Quote: 655859; Rating: 672; [+|-]
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<@pinata> i am going to be patenting my new method of internet access.
<@pinata> it will be 6 times as fast...
<@pinata> but drop 90% of all of your connections.
<@pinata> i will call it ADHDSL
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Quote: 655875; Rating: 667; [+|-]
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<HarbPBN> I got home at like 4am.
<TruckPBN> Get layed?
<ebolaaaa> Isn't it "laid"?
<TruckPBN> ebolaaaa: I'm married... I dont remember.
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Quote: 656065; Rating: 250; [+|-]
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ClonaZjeveni5: It isn't a biased opinion
ClonaZjeveni5: its true
xenotwuz: I'm thinking your opinion on biased opinions is biased.
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Quote: 656271; Rating: 571; [+|-]
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<Rathen> Ha, this torrent of United93 is 747mb big. Beautiful.
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Quote: 656312; Rating: 1626; [+|-]
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<Razhal> The internet is a beautiful place....
<Razhal> Because no matter what kind of twisted freak you are, you've got a friend out there :D
<Razhal> You could ask the internet "Find people who have sex with goats on fire."
<Razhal> And internet will ask you, "What kind of goats?"
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Quote: 656346; Rating: 185; [+|-]
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nocashvaluedrumz: they need to reinvent the internet
nocashvaluedrumz: so i can enjoy it with both hands
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Quote: 656426; Rating: 258; [+|-]
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(+Cafe`) I am into AZN GANGSTAS
(tehjeebus|x) gangstas that can do math... that means they're the worst people to buy crack from
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Quote: 656458; Rating: 842; [+|-]
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<ido> anywho, i'll go write my own
<ido> it should only take a few hundred lines of coke
<ido> i mean code...
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Quote: 656481; Rating: 2221; [+|-]
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Hekili_Manu: Ok. So I called my bank's fraud dept about that hotels.com letter I got since I apparently used them twice with two different cards. I forgot completely that when I signed up you can assign your own security question online.
Hekili_Manu: So when I called and spoke to the guy they use the same security question and he asked me "Ok, I just need to verify one thing. How big is your c**k?"
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Quote: 656576; Rating: 295; [+|-]
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<HardlyJW> anyone know how to change an ip?
<lysip> yes
<lysip> clone your mac
<HardlyJW> ?
<HardlyJW> i have windows...
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Quote: 656592; Rating: 414; [+|-]
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MightyMooquack> Huh. This is something I've not seen in C code before...
Iconoplast> comments?
Iconoplast> HA HA HA BURN
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Quote: 656603; Rating: 296; [+|-]
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<Nick> how come everytime I see the phrase "Future-Proof" I read it as "yesterday's obsolescent"
<Lanei> because you posess sufficient quantities of the cynicism necessary for survival
<Force10> Man, if cynicism is all you need to survive, I'm gonna live to be 150.
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Quote: 656771; Rating: 748; [+|-]
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<S_Sprite> oh god
<S_Sprite> all I can hear
<S_Sprite> right now
<S_Sprite> is the squeeking of my housemates mattress
<S_Sprite> I'M TRANSLATING ANCIENT GREEK YOU INSENSITIVE FUCKS
<S_Sprite> well they'll be sorry when my hard studying has got me a PhD in classical studies and all they'll have is MDs from some top-rated med school
<S_Sprite> fuck
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Quote: 656856; Rating: 749; [+|-]
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eI pianisto: So..
eI pianisto: I called to complain about the slow DSL speeds.
eI pianisto: and they told me
eI pianisto: that it was because all the kids are out of school and "in their stupid chat rooms"
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Quote: 656898; Rating: 929; [+|-]
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<Mikey> So theres this chick at work thats pretty cute
<Mikey> And she saw me outside having a smoke one time on a break
<Mikey> And she goes "You should give that up"
<Mikey> That means she cares about my wellbeing and would possibly sleep with me right?
<stevenst> No, it just means she's an opinionated bitch
<Mikey> :(
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Quote: 657165; Rating: 494; [+|-]
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<Eric> I feel bad when handshaking with PuTTY. It supports so many features. "I can tell you what sort of client I am, would you like to know?" "Nope." "Well, in that case, let me just tell you my screen dimensions." "No thanks." "Do you... uh... want to support environment variables? I got some variables." "... no."
"Well, I guess it's echo off and raw mode, then."
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Quote: 657186; Rating: 813; [+|-]
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<iFx|shade> this guy aidan was aruging with this chick emma at tea
<iFx|shade> and shes like saying it wouldnt hurt that much getting kicked in the balls
<iFx|shade> and he goes spread your legs then and ill kick you in the balls
<iFx|shade> and shes like i dont have balls
<iFx|shade> and he goes who are you trying to kid with a mostache like that
<iFx|shade> and she got up and left
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Quote: 657206; Rating: 1471; [+|-]
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<Gayo> I miss being able to type.
<Gayo> It was nice.
<Amy> ...
<Amy> What are you doing now then, using telepathy?
<Gayo> I'm dictating to my secretary
<Gayo> semicolon close parantheses
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Quote: 657269; Rating: 340; [+|-]
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<okin^2> hi
<okin^2> how can I retrieve my password?
<@shasta> refresh your memory
<@shasta> :)
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Quote: 657925; Rating: -58; [+|-]
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<killsdow> do harddrives like...
<killsdow> lose speed if u rewrite on them too much?
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Quote: 657940; Rating: 401; [+|-]
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<@Kaczynski> I say reinstate the death penalty
<@Kaczynski> and execute corrupt politicians
<@Kaczynski> how are they acting differently from organized criminals?
<@andro> they're getting caught
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Quote: 657985; Rating: 751; [+|-]
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<blast007> okay, here's what you do
<blast007> you go to a resturant, and you ask for a grilled cheese sandwich
<blast007> and ask for limburger cheese on it
<A-Delusion> I always ask for a chicken and an egg, to see which comes first.
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Quote: 657988; Rating: 35; [+|-]
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<GoreJanez> I hate that captain of Enterprise from star trek
<GoreJanez> He's like an irc-newby
<GoreJanez> when he meets someone in space, he's all like: "hi, how are you, where are you from, wanna be my friend?"
<R_Nereda> #gothicmetal solar system would be his final frontier
<GoreJanez> he'd got attacked by ban-beams in no time
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Quote: 657992; Rating: 241; [+|-]
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<_grunt> wife washed my damned wallet
<_grunt> i got freshly laundred money
<_grunt> my driving record is now clean
<_grunt> a new social security card washed up
<_grunt> wonder if the soap washed the debit off my credit cards
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Quote: 658085; Rating: 476; [+|-]
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<nickee> how can i se the size on layers in photoshop ??
<Unhold> ctrl+acn return ctrl+v alt+ii
<Unhold> common shortcut
<nickee> huh o_O
<Unhold> yeah, sometimes i think photoshop evolved from emacs
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Quote: 658119; Rating: 520; [+|-]
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<TreCool> I had the stupidest secretary ever today at the unviersity. I walked in to get my transcripts and she tells me she needs my school ID number and my first and last name. Now I'm wearing my hat that has my last name on the back of it over the Oilers symbol and I'm wearing the hat backwards so its right out
there for her to see. So anyway, I give her my id number and my first name then say my last name. The secretary said "Oh cool! Just like the one on your hat! Now how do you spell that?" I was like "...". I was so tempted to bitch slap that moron.
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Quote: 658292; Rating: 2042; [+|-]
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<FireHmpstr> My friend broke up with his girlfriend or whatever
<FireHmpstr> So now every damn time I see the fucker I have to hear him whine
<FireHmpstr> "But I loved her so much, how could i ever live without her, Blah blah..."
<FireHmpstr> And all I can think about is how to kill him without anybody finding out.
<FireHmpstr> and then maybe rape that bitch too
<XKKBK> err, are you talking about me?
<FireHmpstr> OH SHI-
<FireHmpstr> forgot you were here
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Quote: 658339; Rating: 684; [+|-]
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<phazonfox> Mario Kart is socialist.
<phazonfox> People in last place get better items.
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Quote: 658354; Rating: 456; [+|-]
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Sarah: I hate how society says we all have to be thin
Jenn: I'm fat because I'm rebelling
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Quote: 658474; Rating: 142; [+|-]
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<Warbum> lime wire for mac
<Warbum> and people said mac had no viruses
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Quote: 658871; Rating: 521; [+|-]
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<H0ley> Its like if you want to get a mate now a days, one has to get a myspace.
<H0ley> What ever happened to getting to know people and dates and crap.
<H0ley> Screw this profile crap.
<H0ley> Everyone is trying to profile each other.
<H0ley> Freaking meat-markets.
<L4m3r> Dogs leave piles of crap for each other. We have Myspace.
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Quote: 658961; Rating: 882; [+|-]
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milnarmo: damn i'm never gonna get a fishing license
milnarmo: lucky i already have my phishing license
darkwing14: what?
milnarmo: please enter your credit card number and expiration date to continue this conversation
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Quote: 659196; Rating: 1343; [+|-]
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<rush> anyone ever notice that klingons speak unix?
<rush> "Grep ls awk chmod"
<rush> "Mknod ksh tar imap"
<rush> "Wall fsck yacc"
<assassin> dude. you even give geeks a bad name.
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Quote: 659223; Rating: 198; [+|-]
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[GOD]Smithereens> Condoms are VERY good if you don't have any water balloons near you
[GOD]Smithereens> Don't EVER try the other way around though.
Xyranius> It's not fun>_<
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Quote: 659231; Rating: 863; [+|-]
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<Biff> man. 3 bigwigs from the rival company we just bought came here to visit
<Biff> they didn't seem happy AT ALL
<hekman> well they just got owned
<hekman> literally
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Quote: 659306; Rating: 195; [+|-]
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<tricid> I'm going to tattoo two dots on the head of my dick.
<tricid> then when I cum, my dick will go :o
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Quote: 659425; Rating: 352; [+|-]
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Andy: when I finish a song, I automaticly hate it.
Nielzor: that's quite a healthy attitude, though, I think, hating what you've created
Andy: like punching babies!
Nielzor: EXACTLY
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Quote: 659546; Rating: 437; [+|-]
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<rifkin> Happy Flag day everyone
<rifkin> the US army is 231 years old today
<rifkin> to celebrate I am leeching wireless from some iraqi in baghdad
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Quote: 659570; Rating: 607; [+|-]
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<Bobzilla> Curse this hooker website taking so long to load!
<Bobzilla> argh
<K Doc> ...
<Bobzilla> I can feel your judgemental stare
<Bobzilla> It feels good.
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Quote: 659765; Rating: 400; [+|-]
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<Az_Eating_lunch> We had to carry our IP packets up hill ourselves
<Az_Eating_lunch> I tell ya, when you are carrying your own packets, collisions suck
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