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Quote: 633436; Rating: -28; [+|-]
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<benjick> i talked to a friend, who is a bit geeky about doctypes
<benjick> "when it comes to girls, i'm xhtml 1.1 strict, you are like 4.01 loose" :(
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Quote: 633515; Rating: 1780; [+|-]
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<werro> damnit :/
<werro> my dad found my porn
<Bob112> So what? I bet my dad knows I have porn.
<werro> but my dad didnt know Im gay :/
<Bob112> Um, like, neither did I
* werro has left #hookerz
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Quote: 633530; Rating: 573; [+|-]
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<KillerB> man, while I'm excited about the interview, getting my ass up at like 1:30pm is gonna blow.
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Quote: 633735; Rating: 2494; [+|-]
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<Chcherrycola>Oh shit I'm fucked
<Chcherrycola>I hid my weed in my PSP carrying case. So I get up to go get some and I can't find it anywhere, then I realise my little brother must have taken it with him on the plane to Florida with my family... O_O
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Quote: 633742; Rating: 1017; [+|-]
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<Chairboy> Windows Me is the kind of OS even a catholic would abort
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Quote: 634090; Rating: 370; [+|-]
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<sai sce> what's up?
<marc> nm, just plotting to kill my psych teacher
<sai sce> he'd probably be like "THE GUN SHOWS THAT YOU FEAR INTIMACY!!!"
<sai sce> while you were shooting him.
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Quote: 634091; Rating: 2764; [+|-]
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Clainsynar: What if all numbers were multiples of pi and our integer system was wrong?
TokMor: stop having such irrational thoughts
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Quote: 634093; Rating: 981; [+|-]
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shotz190: my cellphones just gettin worse as time goes on
shotz190: whenever somebody sends me a text, it just takes longer and longer to get here
shotz190: either that or jake wants to know if i can give him a ride to school yesterday
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Quote: 634201; Rating: 1542; [+|-]
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Rabid Manyak: Oh man, my mid-term mark update is awesome
Rabid Manyak: computer science: 61% science: 74% math: 51% philosophy: 97%
Rabid Manyak: Thanks LSD!
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Quote: 634546; Rating: 345; [+|-]
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<Josh> i ogtta go to an apointment
<Josh> i cant spell
<Josh> ps its not a spelling appt
<Phil> smart of you to abbreviate it the second time
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Quote: 634805; Rating: 357; [+|-]
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<@Miss_Morgan> heh
<@Miss_Morgan> ok get this
<@Miss_Morgan> I came up with a marketing campaign for a new cereal
<@Miss_Morgan> I was staring at some fruit loops I poured myself
<@Miss_Morgan> and after about 5 minutes of staring and munching, I realized something
<@Miss_Morgan> red... orange... yellow... green... blue... violet
<@Miss_Morgan> it's the 6-color rainbow!
<@Miss_Morgan> so get this
<@Miss_Morgan> in an approaching perspective and going up, stars and glitter-things coming off of the name
<@Miss_Morgan> Hom-O's
<@Miss_Morgan> and have three gay guys in the corner of the box
<@Miss_Morgan> on the bottom of the front pane, there'll be the slogan
<@Miss_Morgan> "They're fruity, they're colorful, they're fabulous!"
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Quote: 635032; Rating: 1901; [+|-]
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ZA|Drinking|: I remember in high school, during somebody made an off hand remark about wondering why they sacrificed virgins
ZA|Drinking|: And I was all like, they sure as hell ain't going to give up the ones that put out
ZA|Drinking|: And then I got detention
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Quote: 635060; Rating: 1891; [+|-]
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<MJak> whats that movie with the the planet full of talking apes?
<Nitrix> Planet of the apes...?
<Mjak> Yah the one where the space guy crash lands there whats it called
<Nitrix> Planet of the apes...?
<Mjak> YES BUT WHATS THE FUCKING NAME OF THE MOVIE
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Quote: 635159; Rating: 290; [+|-]
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<Choko> i know 101 ways to use a penis
<HamsterMan> cool
<HamsterMan> does it include writing with it and playing baseball
<Choko> okay... now i know 103 ways
<HamsterMan> XD
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Quote: 635335; Rating: 854; [+|-]
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<Doc> All this pollen is killing me, You can see the green clouds of it floating in the air.
<Doc> pollen is just tree sperm...
<Doc> I feel like mother nature just gave me a facial..
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Quote: 635424; Rating: 59; [+|-]
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Scouthouse: king kong was a good movie
elcucarachaloco: an AWESOME movie
elcucarachaloco: only one better is return of the king
Scouthouse: never seen it
elcucarachaloco: awesome movie
Scouthouse: but how can he return when hes dead?
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Quote: 635469; Rating: 257; [+|-]
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< f0rd> you can't do loops in html can you
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Quote: 635493; Rating: 800; [+|-]
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<BenS> Matt, have you heard about that webserver that's running off a potatoe for power ... just displays a text smiley face and takes like 15 seconds to load?
<Omnica> Brings new meaning to the term "server farm"
<BenS> You should be shot.
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Quote: 635581; Rating: 735; [+|-]
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< traicovn> I'm stealing wifi at the shearton right now
< traicovn> until security comes and gets me
< traicovn> Some older upper 30s drunk woman invited me up to her room.
< traicovn> But I think the high speed is just about the same up there so I turned her down.
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Quote: 635590; Rating: 1055; [+|-]
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<&TwoZero> so.. the internet at work died completely and after trying to fix it I said fuck it and went home
<&TwoZero> and ran netstumbler on the bus.. and found 336 accesspoints
<&TwoZero> the bus stopped in front of a church, and the SSID 'satans partyhouse' appeared
<&TwoZero> must be some student living next to it or something
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Quote: 635674; Rating: 146; [+|-]
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aaront: :-P
aaront: Whatever ya say
xxkuku4purplexx: dont stick ur tongue out at me, are u like 2 or something?
aaront: you take emotiocons way too seriously <3
xxkuku4purplexx: ewwwww
xxkuku4purplexx: gross
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Quote: 635683; Rating: 1640; [+|-]
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<Harkila> i've always wondered what "holy shit" actually is
<Harkila> my strongest mental image is about the pope taking a crap
<bleak-> a radiant turd with a halo
<Rancid-> like, xbox?
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Quote: 635705; Rating: 13; [+|-]
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<Simon>man, i'm farting like a motherfucker over here! you can really smell the decaying hampster flesh...
<Simon>there's a two week backlog of shit held up by that furry fucker
<Nick> OMFG, that is WRONG, you're fucking sick!
<Nick> you put a P in HAMSTER...sicko
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Quote: 635741; Rating: 785; [+|-]
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<Mr_Saturn> Diagnosing computer problems over IRC is like trying to diagnose brain cancer with a pointy stick
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Quote: 635834; Rating: 1004; [+|-]
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<Triumph> No wonder we can't win in Afghanistan.
<Triumph> We drop a dozen bombs and when no one is left standing, drop a bag of food.
<Triumph> Instead, we should drop the bag of food first and when everyone gathers around it, drop a single bomb.
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Quote: 635838; Rating: 1343; [+|-]
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Lush Puppy: I lost my virginity at an anime convention - this sentence makes me sound a lot fatter than I actually am.
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Quote: 635862; Rating: 410; [+|-]
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<Ezekiel> When we were doing about the 3rd world in RE, the teacher was saying how we live in the 1st world, africa is the 3rd world, but there isn't really a 2nd world
<Ezekiel> So this kid asks the teacher "Where was world war 2 fought then?"
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Quote: 635901; Rating: 656; [+|-]
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jrronimo: Hah! On a whim I figured I'd check some of the bigger companie for open jobs in Boulder... so what do I get? Comcast's career website: "Could not connect to remote server". Sounds like they've got a Network Engineer position open for me. :D
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Quote: 635951; Rating: -134; [+|-]
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dracony_gentoo: C#?
dracony_gentoo: i like to keep away from objects
dracony_gentoo: especially sharp ones
dracony_gentoo: get it
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Quote: 636156; Rating: 1390; [+|-]
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<Jonno> What's the difference between regular garlic and roasted garlic?
<Arclight> A gypsy once told me it was the roasting, but you shouldn't trust the gypsies
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Quote: 636171; Rating: 143; [+|-]
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<Mik0r> I wish they made cars that run on methane cause I sure produce a lot of it
<gerbil> i wish they made cars that run on methadone
<gerbil> cuz id siphon everyones fuel
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Quote: 636215; Rating: 1333; [+|-]
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<KittieRose> So I get this email from this girl.
<KittieRose> "I made out with a chick and got mono..."
<KittieRose> I email her back.
<KittieRose> "If you'd have made out with two chicks, would you have gotten stereo?"
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Quote: 636389; Rating: 1777; [+|-]
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<phex> so you excited for your interview at RIM?
<burnison> yep
<phex> so then you're hoping to get a rim job?
<burnison> hell yes
*phex waits for the pun to set in
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Quote: 636447; Rating: 1821; [+|-]
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<mmiikkee12> XD, i just got the best spam message ever
<mmiikkee12> "Make $$$ Fast"
<mmiikkee12> "Hold down your shift and 4 keys at the same time. In about a second you will be making $$$ fast."
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Quote: 636622; Rating: 204; [+|-]
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SMARTGIRL483: by the way i think i need to tell you this
SMARTGIRL483: i had a baby by my ex boyfriend
Protege Chris: i should buy you a box of condoms for your next birthday :p... you country girls are just so eager to ride a cowboy
SMARTGIRL483: omg
SMARTGIRL483: i cant help that
SMARTGIRL483: it was a girl
SMARTGIRL483: her name is elizabeth allison rainbow johnson
Protege Chris: rofl.. the white trash equivalent of "shaquana"
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Quote: 636661; Rating: 1790; [+|-]
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<Shameful_Buffalo> I got bored tonight, so I played the wal mart game, you know where you go to wal mart and see who can get the funniest items together
<Shameful_Buffalo> well I give my friends ryan and taylor $20 and they go off, taylor gets KY Jelly, Camoflauge shorts and Predator on DVD, I get some G2 Pilot pens, A mountain dew, Murray's Superior Afroshine Hair Pomade, 12-pack of Lubed Trojans, a pair of Brinks Luggage Locks with keys, Electrical Tape, and some
Reeses Peanut Butter Cups (standard double-cup pack).
<Shameful_Buffalo> Ryan comes back empty handed and this follows,
Ryan: "I played your game dude..."
Taylor: "then where is your stuff?"
Me: "Yeah, you had to buy something with that 20 I gave you.."
Ryan "I went to automotive and put a tire on layaway..."
<Shameful_Buffalo> I never laughed so hard in my entire life, I gave him the 10 bucks for winning and walked to the car with my bag of crap.
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Quote: 636703; Rating: 145; [+|-]
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Dleet:haha, pornmovietitles are wonderfull ;) "World Poke Her Tour" ^^
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Quote: 636755; Rating: 1232; [+|-]
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Flux: I've got a joke for ya...
Jet: Shoot.
Flux: Allright, so these two niggers and two spics walk into a fag bar
Jet: HEY GOD DAMNIT MY PARENTS ARE IN THE ROOM SHIT SHIT SHIT.
Flux: Yeah, I didn't really have a punchline for that one anyways
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Quote: 636765; Rating: 714; [+|-]
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<selene|metro> and i thought that i saw you looting
<selene|metro> i thought that i saw you gate friends here
<selene|metro> thats me in the dungeon
<selene|metro> thats me in the twilight, losing my connection
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Quote: 637196; Rating: 1799; [+|-]
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<LordPie> which part confuses you more, my complex lexicon or the fact that i beat you with your own logic?
<jestaa> using big words doesn't make you more smarter.
<LordPie> Sorry, let me put it in an language that you can understand
<LordPie> OMG, ROFL LOL!!!!!!!!! J00 GOT OWNED!!11111!!
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Quote: 637310; Rating: 511; [+|-]
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<Deek`> I got a GED
<Deek`> I got 2 pts away from a perfect score
<Rick> I almost got one.
<Deek`> Did you fail it? Are you a hillbilly?
<Rick> No.
<Rick> I got a real highschool diploma.
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Quote: 637552; Rating: 737; [+|-]
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<aamP> i named my two goldfish 1 and 2
<aamP> because if 1 died i still had 2
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Quote: 637589; Rating: 366; [+|-]
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<+ketiov> coheed
<+ketiov> can i get op now
<@Coheed> If you really want op that bad just make a room and make yourself op :\
<+ketiov> i have 5 of those
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Quote: 637607; Rating: 643; [+|-]
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(whyte7): do you think porn is degrading to women?
(Zlumpen): only the good stuff.
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Quote: 637666; Rating: 306; [+|-]
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<Super_Pirate> "Women age like fine wine"
<Super_Pirate> Show me one woman, one ANYONE for that matter, that tastes better with age . . .
<Super_Pirate> And I'll show you a mental institution for tasting people.
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Quote: 637722; Rating: 906; [+|-]
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<Asher_Dorn> somebody suggested that the offical name for our gay straight alliance should be "All You Need Is Love"
<Asher_Dorn> i had to tell him the acronym is AYNIL
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Quote: 637861; Rating: 153; [+|-]
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<jbskittlez> dude should i sell myself on ebay
<jbskittlez> sell my virginity on ebay?
<jbskittlez> how much money could i make from that
<lieb39> with or without a pic?
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Quote: 637964; Rating: 645; [+|-]
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<LoneVandal> I've heard Korean is the most logical and easy to read written language on earth
<LoneVandal> And that it is way easier to understand than speaking it
<Parn> It's easy to speak Korean
<Parn> See, watch
<Parn> CHING CHONG PING PONG
<LoneVandal> Thats chinese you faggot
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Quote: 638054; Rating: 432; [+|-]
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<JasonF> cdrws are cds that you COULD burn twice if they made erasable sharpies
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Quote: 638088; Rating: 52; [+|-]
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<@Winternight> helloween sucks
<@Winternight> well, now they suck, they used to rule
<@Argoth> never really listened to em
<@DIABOLICAL> I wish I could've listened to them back when I was in grade school
<@Argoth> why?
<@DIABOLICAL> well, I thought Janet Jackson was "black metal" back then
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