|
Quote: 628582; Rating: 1408; [+|-]
|
<TSPhoenix> You're so lame that you can encode mp3s.
|
|
Quote: 628630; Rating: 8967; [+|-]
|
<samsim> I heard about this guy who broke into a lion's den at the zoo
<samsim> and got mauled
<samsim> and people were talking about how there should have been better defences put up to prevent people getting into the cage
<samsim> a friend of mine suggested setting up some kind of deterrent
<samsim> for example, putting some sort of fierce animal in the cage, which would attack anybody who climbed in
|
|
Quote: 628721; Rating: 1006; [+|-]
|
kaytodaizzik: that's like my outlook on life
kaytodaizzik: "cautious optimism"
kaytodaizzik: It's like, I'm pretty sure the Sun will rise tomorrow.
kaytodaizzik: But chances are someone's gonna try and fuck me
kaytodaizzik: So I wear sunglasses and a buttplug.
|
|
Quote: 628786; Rating: 1517; [+|-]
|
<yogurt1> dude, the saddest thing happend today. My mom woke me up at fucking 9 in the morning, cause our garbage can blew open and spread it all around the street. So I throw on clothes and go out to clean. It takes me fucking 2 hours to finish it. Then some punk kid comes by and kicks it over, and it all blows away
again. I go up to this kid and I say "You stupud fuck clean it" this punk ass kid says to me "haha fuck that".
<yogurt1> I couldn't hear him because I had earmuffs but I knew thats what the kid says. So after mouthing off I punch the kid in the face and walk home. like an hour later the kids mom comes to the door and says shes going to sue me for punching...her 13 year old daughter.
<benji443> HAHA LMAO!
<jiirco> ROFL YOU PUNCHED A GIRL!!!!!!!!!
<yogurt1> She was wearing a hat and a hood for fuck sakes!
|
|
Quote: 628866; Rating: 360; [+|-]
|
Ignus Firestorm: Do that shit again and I'm getting back on my other SN.
Ignus Firestorm: And you'll never hear from me again.
Ignus Firestorm: =]
CanYouSaySanity: Oh...darn....
CanYouSaySanity: ...
CanYouSaySanity: That was by far, the worst threat in the history of mankind.
CanYouSaySanity: It wouldn't even work on France.
|
|
Quote: 628877; Rating: 707; [+|-]
|
Erik: wow sad, mexico beat u.s. in baseball
Erik: well, then again, them mexicans sure are able to get things past fences
|
|
Quote: 628880; Rating: 1104; [+|-]
|
<Fenris> Man..
<Fenris> I need to get a monitor
<W1N9Zr0> yeah, stop guessing what's on the screen
|
|
Quote: 628906; Rating: 1457; [+|-]
|
<jjccp> i broke my leg
<jjccp> masturbating is evil
<[Slaryn> O_O I hope to god those two incidents weren't related
|
|
Quote: 629232; Rating: 1057; [+|-]
|
<JasonM> Oh my god.
<JasonM> I was at the train station today, and this REALLY EMO GUY comes up to me and asks me if i have a lighter
<JasonM> So i get it out and go to light it
<JasonM> Then his fucking fringe catches on fire
<aikon> LOL!
<JasonM> I pissbolted.
<JasonM> I'm scared of going back there tomorrow and seeing a burned emo corpse on the ground
|
|
Quote: 629240; Rating: 773; [+|-]
|
<Varka> cds are made of pikachu skins
<Orcinus> is that why they turn to lightning in the microwave? :D
<Varka> Yes.
|
|
Quote: 629344; Rating: 1766; [+|-]
|
* Qwyxzl growls at his connection
* Furion sees his virus is working.
* Qwyxzl gets out his Furion voodoo doll
* Furion Quit (Ping timeout)
<Elessa> whoa!
|
|
Quote: 629500; Rating: 1430; [+|-]
|
<corncob> I was in networking class
<corncob> and the disccussion randomly turned to personal freedoms.
<corncob> some girl said there should be a law against parents smoking around kids to keep them from encouraging them to smoke
<corncob> and someone else counters with "Well, I saw my parents having sex all the time and I'm still a virgin!"
|
|
Quote: 629711; Rating: 2217; [+|-]
|
Laudanum: I think my ability to communicate has gone downhill.
kaltegeburt: I don't understand.
|
|
Quote: 629927; Rating: 1589; [+|-]
|
Vfirthd: someday, I'm going to be great.
Vfirthd: someday, I will have all the money I want and no financial trouble
Vfirthd: and I'll have a great, big house with a laptop and high fi stero systems
Vfirthd: oh, and I'll have a job that I love so much, and make a good profit from
Vfirthd: and at that great job that I love, I'll find the lovely woman of my dreams...
Vfirthd: yeah...someday...
GeniusChef: You work at a McDonalds, don't you?
Vfirthd: Burger King
|
|
Quote: 630041; Rating: 524; [+|-]
|
<Benjula> Dude, I thought of the best name for a Christian rap CD ever
<Benjula> The RhapCD
|
|
Quote: 630066; Rating: 626; [+|-]
|
<Whittney> does anyone know what the C++ test tomorrow covers
<Arc> chapters 1-16
<Whittney> thats up to waht exactly
<Whittney> then end of arrays...or does that inclue char?
<Arc> um...linear integration of the Hermholtz plasma intereferometry function
<Arc> as applied to post-modern dadist theories
<Whittney> wtf are u talking about
<Arc> I could ask you the same...have you even attended the course?? 0_o
|
|
Quote: 630094; Rating: 1253; [+|-]
|
<Revolution|AngeL> he thinks because we idle 4 of the same channels
<Revolution|AngeL> we're somehow friends
<Revolution|AngeL> i dont even know how it started.
<Revolution|AngeL> a casual glance here
<Revolution|AngeL> a soft touch there
<Revolution|AngeL> gentle, warm and caring chatting.
<Revolution|AngeL> brokeback irc.
<Revolution|AngeL> i wish i knew how to /quit you
|
|
Quote: 630110; Rating: 1633; [+|-]
|
<puertoroo> so, i was at the store and the hot female clerk was checking me out and stuff
<puertoroo> then we came back to my place and tore my bedroom up
<puertoroo> then we did it on the stove and then on the washing machine
<HuhWhat> And in the real world, what happened?
<puertoroo> ....i never even made it to the store :(
|
|
Quote: 630243; Rating: 893; [+|-]
|
<meeb> what the fuck
<meeb> highly religious client just rang up
<meeb> wants us to automatically take their website down at sunset on a friday until sunrise on a monday
<meeb> as using an online shop is bad and evil over the sabbath
|
|
Quote: 630541; Rating: 2046; [+|-]
|
<Sneux_Duck> so today at school we had this guy talking about sexual predators online and crap like that for a good hour. and he said something like "girls don't put your pictures online. these freaks will only collect, trade and sell them" and i said a bit too loudly "gotta catch 'em all"
<Sneux_Duck> he was the only one not laughing...
|
|
Quote: 630686; Rating: 2742; [+|-]
|
<@Quasi> I feel like my life is a movie.
<@Quasi> But it's being shown on TV.
<@Quasi> So all the sex scenes are cut.
|
|
Quote: 630789; Rating: 1570; [+|-]
|
Ziggy: Everytime I hear a strange noise, I have a zombie panic attack.
Lusty: what is it with you and zombies?!
Ziggy: Are you not afraid of zombies?
Lusty: they don't exist.
Ziggy: That's what they think in movies too.
Ziggy: Right before the invasion.
|
|
Quote: 630836; Rating: 2141; |
<spazdor> how do you get a Cisco Certified Network Administrator off your porch?
<cnug> ...?
<spazdor> pay for your pizza
|
|
Quote: 630859; Rating: 447; [+|-]
|
<Shard>: I think my GF is pregnant...
<Sapphon>: You should pimp her out to cover the abortion, she cant get pregnant twice ;).
<Shard>: ....
|
|
Quote: 631051; Rating: 1185; [+|-]
|
<jimmy_> i use norton
<BoltBait> Norton's is the most annoying anti virus software ever!
<jimmy_> what do you meen? i hardly notice notice its there
<BoltBait> Really? Then it's probably not working.
<jimmy_> ...
<jimmy_> u may be right
<jimmy_> the tray icon isnt there anymore
<jimmy_> shit!
|
|
Quote: 631180; Rating: 326; [+|-]
|
EvILpYRoMaNiA: my dad tried to sit on my lap: he tackled me off my chair.
EvILpYRoMaNiA: dog*
EvILpYRoMaNiA: shit
EvILpYRoMaNiA: that was the worst typo ever.
|
|
Quote: 631408; Rating: -105; [+|-]
|
< Redb3ard> so, im using this godawful slow pcanywhere connection
< Redb3ard> 2 hours to scroll through a list, check off the things i need to
< Redb3ard> idiot customer comes along, closes the window at 97% done
< Redb3ard> doesnt minimize it, closes it
< Redb3ard> so i locked the keyboard, blanked the screen, and locked it like that
|
|
Quote: 631598; Rating: 1259; [+|-]
|
<DooMGoaT> OMG
<DooMGoaT> SQUASH THE SPIDER AND WIN AN XBOX 360!
<DooMGoaT> shame none of the 360 games are as good as the spider squashy banner
|
|
Quote: 631627; Rating: 580; [+|-]
|
bananza: i feel bad for ugly people
rotino: empathyy
bananza: yeah
bananza: like a lot
rotino: look up empathy
bananza: oh fuck u
|
|
Quote: 631753; Rating: 1136; [+|-]
|
Banjax: dude, totally hilarious, I'm walking down the street and around the corner I see these people protesting outside a coat shop that sells fur coats. They had buckets of red paint
TurboJesusDELUXE: oh boy
Banjax: this one woman comes around the other corner wearing a fur coat of her own. The whole crowd turns on her like wolves on a lamb, and the closest girl with a bucket of paint throws it on her
Banjax: so she's dripping with paint and starts screaming like she's been shot, and then she's like "it's a fake fur coat, you dumb bitch!"
Banjax: and without missing a beat the other chick says "that's okay, it's fake blood"
TurboJesusDELUXE: HAHA, awesome
|
|
Quote: 631768; Rating: 2; [+|-]
|
* Acetal changes topic to 'Snakes! In a movie theatre!'
<Acetal> There's an idea for a promotion.
|
|
Quote: 631772; Rating: 2239; [+|-]
|
castuslumen: whats the name of those hats that Green Berets wear?
foranzan: are you being stupid on purpose?
castuslumen: what?
foranzan: you are officially the Rolls Royce of stupid.
|
|
Quote: 631810; Rating: 1949; [+|-]
|
Stacy: Raymond is correct.
Raymond: I always am
Esuna: Raymond, what number am I thinking of?
Raymond: Esuna, you're not thinking of a number
Raymond: You're thinking of something to say when I do say a number.
Esuna: Damn it! How'd you know?
|
|
Quote: 631847; Rating: 1277; [+|-]
|
bcreasy: come check this out
gbarnes: no
bcreasy: *shiny thing*
gbarnes: oh, be right there
|
|
Quote: 631850; Rating: 688; [+|-]
|
Tammy: julia is having to cancel lunch, her uncle was murdered
tladd: :O
Tammy: you want to do lunch :)
tladd: sure.
|
|
Quote: 631863; Rating: 147; [+|-]
|
<notjoe> yesterday i brought my cat to the vet since he wasnt peeing. So, the vet forced him to pee by putting pressure on his bladder but i swear i saw his finger was on the my cats asshole
<tripsta> did he put his finger in his mouth after
<samurai_> did he light up a smoke?
<notjoe> no and no
<notjoe> but there was no need to be fingering the cats ass by doing what he was doing
<notjoe> this other time he commented on how nice the cats testicles were
|
|
Quote: 631879; Rating: 530; [+|-]
|
<Towzzer> hey ufo
<ufo8mydog> hey ugly
<Towzzer> that's not my nick
<ufo8mydog> sorry, i'm a faceperson, not a nameperson
<Towzzer> ouch
|
|
Quote: 631921; Rating: 481; [+|-]
|
Tanith: Today was so fucked up; in science we have a really hot teacher and she was bending over talking to a student and this other kid stood behined her and pretended to hump her and i was standing glarign at him coz i have a thing for her.
Tanith: she fucking turned around and saw me staring
Tanith:....now she thinks im a pervert :(
|
|
Quote: 631937; Rating: 2674; [+|-]
|
<who> i can't watch brokeback mountain for the same reason i can't watch horror movies
<who> i would scream "HE'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!!" in the middle of the theater
|
|
Quote: 632087; Rating: 835; [+|-]
|
<sceadu> i really need to figure out how to use a debugger in emacs
<iank> pfft, how could you *not* know?
<iank> It's just ctrl+alt+meta+f7+numlock+c+e+m+<
<iank> Hell, you could discover that by accident in emacs..
|
|
Quote: 632373; Rating: 774; [+|-]
|
<Alex> i
<Alex> f s h
<Alex> t c k s
<Alex> s i
<Laila> ...what is he trying to do?
<Reiz0r> Trying to make a fish from fishsticks.
<Reiz0r> It's MODERN ART
<Reiz0r> It's the true pesonification of the juxtaposition of the sombre emotion that the world of man made aesthetics is slowly and irrevokably destroy the nature of that which is ...
<Reiz0r> Something
<Reiz0r> Modern art doesn't have to look like much. It just needs an explanation with lots of long words
|
|
Quote: 632442; Rating: 844; [+|-]
|
<Coma.> I'm drawing a pony for my friend
<Coma.> Except I can't draw so basicly I am drawing a horse only making it look small.
<Coma.> Because a pony is basicly just a little horse.
<Fish> wtf? No they aren't!
<Fish> That's like saying a midget's a person!!
|
|
Quote: 632445; Rating: 1125; [+|-]
|
scuttlemonkey: This [face recognition] technology should speed airport check-ins, but it could also be used in banks or for checking ID cards as it allows full identification in less than one second.
mcc: Great, I can't wait until the day when I get punched in the face, and suddenly I can't use ATMs anymore.
|
|
Quote: 632609; Rating: -137; [+|-]
|
chewp: so i have to make a movie for chinese class
ransom: must be a pretty short movie huh?
chewp: fucker...
|
|
Quote: 632703; Rating: 2719; [+|-]
|
<WarMoose> Think about how stupid the average person is. Now realize that half of them are dumber than that.
<Chunda> Why half?
|
|
Quote: 632794; Rating: 2814; [+|-]
|
Kanuck: i like to look at porn in pdf files.. just so i can make the little hand grab things.
|
|
Quote: 632841; Rating: 1208; [+|-]
|
monetcopy: girls are like nun chucks
monetcopy: they are awesome!
monetcopy: but when u mess up it hurts
monetcopy: ...alot
|
|
Quote: 632900; Rating: 649; [+|-]
|
<sdodson> can you provide that in wma format?
<Corydon76-home> Only if you can provide an encoder
<Corydon76-home> but it has to be able to run on my Apple IIgs
<Wonton> Wma sucks
<sdodson> you can encode oggs on your Apple IIgs?
<Corydon76-home> No, but if you're going to be an asshole about encoding formats, I'm going to be an asshole about the platform the encoder needs to run on.
<Catonic> lol
|
|
Quote: 632906; Rating: 3687; [+|-]
|
<bloodmaster> this guy keeps sending me notices, how do i send them back?????
<`Trust`> ./notice <nick> <message>
<bloodmaster> ty!
<bloodmaster> ./notice <Tommyboy872> <hello tommy, my name is john i am from michigan im 16! Im 5 foot 11 inch tall, you sound cute n we should talk more often ok??>
|
|
Quote: 633270; Rating: 494; [+|-]
|
<calvin909> I don't know what gives, but the last 3 movies i've downloaded are in frigging spanish.
<princess> dey took our pirating jobs!
<calvin909> yeah no doubt
|
|