|
Quote: 624182; Rating: 1082; [+|-]
|
<+PeterFA> I'm naked.
<+zinx> whoever invented text-only communication
<+zinx> ruled
|
|
Quote: 624194; Rating: 552; [+|-]
|
<pixadel> Fine, Java MIGHT be a good example of what a programming language should be like. But Java applications are good examples of what applications SHOULDN'T be like.
|
|
Quote: 624209; Rating: 1410; [+|-]
|
<Nickster> Time for me to make some breakfast! :)
<Nickster> Is anyone from England? I have a question.
<Speck> Im from England and if your asking about english muffins Ill kick you.
<Nickster> nvm then.
|
|
Quote: 624285; Rating: 338; [+|-]
|
<feikkikuotti> heard about the accident?
<`Riku> no, what, who, where?
<feikkikuotti> my bro got hit by a bus, got both of his legs amputated :(
<`Riku> so you got half brother then?
|
|
Quote: 624302; Rating: 584; [+|-]
|
< ispiked> I really hate how these ads have girls in them with their locations based on your ip address.
< ispiked> the same girls live in raleigh and in winston-salem, apparently.
< shaldannon> lol
< shaldannon> they ...uh.... get around
|
|
Quote: 624369; Rating: 767; [+|-]
|
-!- blehhhhh [[email protected]] has joined #perl
<blehhhhh> hello guys, how am i able to create an array of socks ?
<mmlj4> open a drawer?
|
|
Quote: 624688; Rating: 1035; [+|-]
|
(Cdian)If anyone wants to see it, I have the entire series of "goatse" pictures, not just the most famous one. You'd be horriffied to see exactly what that man can fit up his arse.
(em-p)Yeah cause when I saw goatse.cx my first thought was "where can I find MORE?" and then, when I found more? "I'm going to hold onto these!" I just don't KNOW you anymore dude.
|
|
Quote: 624721; Rating: 344; [+|-]
|
<scenestar> chuck norris jokes are the web 2.0 equivalent of "all your base"
|
|
Quote: 624991; Rating: 77; [+|-]
|
st0rmf1re: http://www.wimp.com/jeopardyho/
ruotfk: is this SFW?
st0rmf1re: no, wmv
|
|
Quote: 625032; Rating: 846; [+|-]
|
<johnnyt> holy crap. have to do a 1500 word history essay
<heffalump75> hey u know the saying....
<heffalump75> just draw 1.5 pictures
|
|
Quote: 625149; Rating: 1716; [+|-]
|
<[Midgard]Reynard[50DRG]> a friend of mine once commented that huamns are the only species to go out of our way to obtain milk after we've been weaned, I replied that we were the only species with cookies
|
|
Quote: 625180; Rating: 1282; [+|-]
|
<Bao> A friend from college is now getting her PhD in biomedical engineering, and she has a pet rat she has to experiment on, and she had to castrate it for her next procedure.
<Bao> Apparently the thing wasn't fully under anaesthesia, and when she was shaving it, it ejaculated on her.
<Bao> And the most horrible thing is that she shrugs it off and is like, "Who'd have thought the first handjob I'd ever give would be to a rat?!"
|
|
Quote: 625276; Rating: 884; [+|-]
|
{RainmakeR}: fuck I'm a retard
{RainmakeR}: I was trying to use windows magnifier to enlarge the dead pixel area to look at it better
{RainmakeR}: i had it open for like 5 seconds, then like "wait a minute... "
|
|
Quote: 625311; Rating: 91; [+|-]
|
<Jaques> What if there was a Resident Evil game in France?
<sands> it'd be boring as shit
<sands> all the zombies would run away
|
|
Quote: 625424; Rating: 711; [+|-]
|
<Silellak> The Oscars are fucking lame. Hollywood giving itself a self-congratulatory blowjob over how artsy and deep and relevant it is
<Silellak> When I saw "The Day After Tomorrow" in their montage of movies that addressed serious issues I wanted to throw something at the screen.
<Silellak> Because Day After Tomorrow was as much about global warming as Independence Day was about gay rights
|
|
Quote: 625822; Rating: 694; [+|-]
|
Scott: i need a title for an essay about how i go over and above what is asked of me
Scott: because its a reflection on myself
Austin: "Second to None: The Story of How I Spit on God"
|
|
Quote: 625865; Rating: 1115; [+|-]
|
Jeffrey: Heh, what an ass. My friend Vann just beat me at Chess, and he checkmated me by putting my king in check with a pawn...Then saying PAWNED!!1!
|
|
Quote: 625959; Rating: 609; [+|-]
|
* McPierce once wrote a webserver in VB that was more powerful than apache.
< bkjones> I once coded an operating more powerful than windows using PHP while standing on my head and driving a car.
< ScottCh> I once mistyped a command in emacs, and made a more powerful webserver than IIS
|
|
Quote: 625970; Rating: 608; [+|-]
|
<Sonic> snow tomorrow. yay.
<Turtle> No snow in the hill country of Texas....where are you expecting your snow, sonic?
<moc> no snow in houston either
<Sonic> pennsylvania
<Sonic> only about 4 more inches
<2slim> we have 4 feet here in Idaho
<fiver> is that due to inbreeding slim?
|
|
Quote: 625995; Rating: 314; [+|-]
|
<shok-> ha! just yesterday I was wondering why more solar power applications aren't being built
<shok-> but they are in Shanghai.
<shok-> oh communists, what won't you do?
<Ben^> last for more than a century?
|
|
Quote: 626063; Rating: 1553; [+|-]
|
<chuck> I just got two CDs from AOL. Two CDs in one package. One is gold, for dial-up. The other is Silver, for Cable/DSL broadband. They came in a box that was half gold and half silver. The back of the box enumerates the difference between the two available plans.
<chuck> The CDs have different features listed on their labels.
<chuck> I diff'd them. They're identical.
<chuck> bit for bit:
<chuck> chkno$ md5sum /dev/cdrom
<chuck> 43cf5b370b5d85a74afc2449f445579d /dev/cdrom
<chuck> chkno$ md5sum /dev/cdrom
<chuck> 43cf5b370b5d85a74afc2449f445579d /dev/cdrom
|
|
Quote: 626094; Rating: 521; [+|-]
|
<JRJohn> At my high school we had a high school cop who would walk around proudly displaying his 9mm glock.
<JRJohn> also, he had about 10 boxes of ammo in his desk.
<ZoFreX> that's a little unsafe
<ZoFreX> ammo should be locked up
<JRJohn> WHY would you need more ammunition than there are kids in the school?
<ZoFreX> doubletap?
|
|
Quote: 626110; Rating: 631; [+|-]
|
LutherBifteck: I bet if I wished I was a shapeshifter
LutherBifteck: The genie would give me the power to change triangles into squares
LutherBifteck: And I would be annoyed.
|
|
Quote: 626249; Rating: 2823; [+|-]
|
<Handy> There are 2 kinds of people in the world.
<Handy> 1. Those who need closure.
<Marko> And?
<DavyP> AND?
|
|
Quote: 626251; Rating: 129; [+|-]
|
<Gorsha> im starting to get pissed with photobucket
<Gorshal> i drew a simple picture and posted it in photobucket and it still shrank the picture to be tiny
<Gorshal> i cant figure out wtf the problem is
<PG> try uploading a pic of your penis
<PG> it's the one thing small enough photobucket won't shrink
|
|
Quote: 626285; Rating: 348; [+|-]
|
Dan: It may be Saturday morning, but IRC is the protocol that never sleeps!
azc: As far as I know, the only protocol that sleeps is ACPI :D
|
|
Quote: 626395; Rating: 515; [+|-]
|
QB: My brother went to see the Globetrotters last night...
QB: <spoilers>Globetrotters won!</spoilers>
Come: ARG
Come: I HAD THAT ON TAPE
|
|
Quote: 626425; Rating: 501; [+|-]
|
<PsychoStreak> Now you can get that 8 ball glass eye you've been wanting.
<ircDaemon> then I can shake my head and people can read my condescending answer without me even saying anything!
|
|
Quote: 626457; Rating: 442; [+|-]
|
<dd> who wants to fight me?
<i8b4uUnderground> not me
<i8b4uUnderground> or not i, should i say
<i8b4uUnderground> or i should say, i should say
|
|
Quote: 626537; Rating: 242; [+|-]
|
<@michael`_> and i found out that some sophomore at my school ran a stop sign and some dude going the speed limit slammed into her car
<@michael`_> killing her two friends
<@michael`_> she was drunk as hell, apparently
<@michael`_> and she just got acquitted of vehicular manslaughter today
<@michael`_> shes on facebook too
<@michael`_> Sarah Pennell wrote
<@michael`_> at 10:49pm March 2nd, 2006
<@michael`_> You.....Me....Large amounts of alcohol = this weekend!!
|
|
Quote: 626676; Rating: 1588; [+|-]
|
ShamanMumboJumbo: Dude, I hate AIM Triton but I had to get it because all my friends have it and I can't share files otherwise
ViewtifulDom: Peer2Peer Pressure?
|
|
Quote: 626884; Rating: 702; [+|-]
|
Frencheneesz: what if there was a super hero who had the power to transfer his own boredom to his enemies?
SombrousKnight: how'd he get these powers? gamma radiation while waiting in line at the DMV?
|
|
Quote: 626932; Rating: 1972; [+|-]
|
<mcsuede> so i was half way through drinking a dr pepper
<mcsuede> and my wife sexed me so i fell asleep
<mcsuede> and when i woke up she had drank my dr pepper
<mcsuede> it was the last one
<mcsuede> i fear it was a plot
|
|
Quote: 627046; Rating: 729; [+|-]
|
<@generated> i wish i was dead
<@mehh_> generated: why? :(
<@mehh_> actually i really need to go...tell me some other time :)
<@mehh_> bbl
|
|
Quote: 627168; Rating: 4019; [+|-]
|
<Cobra> so i was watching a pr0n
<Thunder> wait
<Thunder> why u guys always say pr0n instead of porn ??
Thunder has been kicked by Guardian (No porn on this channel !)
<Cobra> ...
<Cobra> so i was watching a pr0n
|
|
Quote: 627243; Rating: 849; [+|-]
|
* GLE has joined #motl
<implode> if you want to blow the dealer, thats your option
<{Excabus}> If I was a girl, I'd totally give head for magic cards.
* GLE has quit IRC (Quit: Note to self; stop coming here)
|
|
Quote: 627287; Rating: 561; [+|-]
|
<NG-Buddhist> I found something humorously racist on Friday
<NG-Buddhist> I was reading a magazine from my English room after my exam, about the most influential people of the last 50 years
<NG-Buddhist> and various pictures were cut out, but i didnt think about it
<NG-Buddhist> then i got to the back of the book, and someone glued in Rosa Park's picture of her sitting there
<Marcus-> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
|
|
Quote: 627349; Rating: 735; [+|-]
|
<e-shark> so i was in physics today, and my mechanical pencial snapped
<e-shark> my teacher noticed it, and then went on this tangent about how he went through school with one mechanical pencil
<e-shark> and a giant white eraser that was german made, since it was really good at getting rid of mistakes
<e-shark> then my friend states, "yea, those germans are really good at getting rid of big, annoying mistakes."
|
|
Quote: 627406; Rating: 746; [+|-]
|
<SwampFox> my way of determining the validity of a holiday is where I am at 9:00 AM
<SwampFox> if I'm in bed, it's good
<SwampFox> if I'm in Physics, it's a Hallmark holiday
|
|
Quote: 627522; Rating: 3173; [+|-]
|
<comwalk> Remember, here in the U.S.A, we have reached a new age.
<comwalk> NOBODY is responsible for their own actions.
<comwalk> Remember that.
<comwalk> Holy shit! I killed somebody! Bob made me do it!
<comwalk> Bob: Joe made me do it!
<comwalk> Joe: I blame the media!
<comwalk> Media: Videogames.
<comwalk> Videogames: Personal responsibility?
<comwalk> Personal Responsibility: <AFK>
|
|
Quote: 627530; Rating: 603; [+|-]
|
<Thuryn> irc is the u-bend under the sink of society
|
|
Quote: 627974; Rating: 1256; [+|-]
|
TheItch: Dude, funniest thing ever!
TheItch: I walk into the bathroom at work, walk up to a urinal, and get ready to... you know.
TheItch: From one of the stalls, I hear a low rumble, which escalates to a groan, and then to a roar.
TheItch: What follows can only be described as the most vile and putrid sounds of human excretion in history. This man apparently pooped out his intestines.
TheItch: Moments later, I hear from the same stall, "Oh god! Someone CALL AN AMBULANCE!"
TheItch: Now, this is an executive restroom at a private bank, and the door has a number lock on it, so it's not some kid trying to be funny. And the man sounded genuinely distressed.
TreesSneezing: lmao! What did you do?
TheItch: Suppressed my laughter as best as I could, zipped up and got the hell out of there.
|
|
Quote: 628022; Rating: 1127; [+|-]
|
tohayer: My windows machine crashes scarily
tohayer: Whatever audio is playing, slows down
tohayer: Like when Dave is disconnecting Hal's memory
tohayer: "Ted... Ted... why are you opening the task manager. You're scaring me, Ted"
|
|
Quote: 628051; Rating: 1681; [+|-]
|
<walt> So I play Tony Hawk Pro Skater all the time right
<walt> And I'm thinking
<walt> That's so awesome, I should learn how to skate!
<walt> So one of my sister's friends left her skateboard here, and I started to dick around on it
<walt> Long story short, I fell over and broke my wrist
<walt> Now I can't play Tony Hawk.
<norl> lol dumbass
|
|
Quote: 628071; Rating: 1399; [+|-]
|
<Darius> What's a round number?
<Archy> 0
|
|
Quote: 628315; Rating: 379; [+|-]
|
<gwizz> there were just 2 police cars in front of my neighbors house right
<gwizz> and i was watching from my room and i told my dad, so he goes and opens the front door to look
<gwizz> but he didnt know the alarm was set, so it goes off
<gwizz> my mom turns it off, and then one of the policemen come over and were like 'did we go to the wrong house?'
|
|
Quote: 628327; Rating: 396; [+|-]
|
* Gakl grumbles.
<Gakl> you can put linux on an ipod, but you can't access an ipod from linux. blech
<Summoner> well yeah. Porting an OS gives a much bigger epenis than porting an IO driver
|
|
Quote: 628411; Rating: 2905; [+|-]
|
<b3nz0rz>: A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, "Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" I said "I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too".
|
|
Quote: 628424; Rating: 672; [+|-]
|
mac: LOL the vending machine at school hate blacks!
mac: I was waiting in line behind three black guys
mac: they each put in their money press the same button and nothing happens
mac: I walk up put in my money press the same button and four Dr.Peppers fall out!
|
|
Quote: 628447; Rating: 1988; [+|-]
|
Newzfoxjr: Holy shit dude
Newzfoxjr: my friend ding dong door bell ditched a house across the street
Newzfoxjr: he ran to a bush and hid, the guy answered and he was dressed up in a freaking S&M suit
Newzfoxjr: so my friend comes out of the bush, looks at him, AND GOES INTO HIS FREAKING HOUSE.
Newzfoxjr: it's been like 2 hours
|
|