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Quote: 289218; Rating: 4956; [+|-]
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<Cedaie> Your ignorance isn't helping.
<@KTottE> How am I ignorant?
<Cedaie> <@KTottE> Do it again, do it right - Ooh great help *clap* *clap*
<@KTottE> http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=ignorant
<@KTottE> Maybe the word you were searching for was http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=arrogant ?
<Cedaie> yeah thats the one
<Cedaie> Your arrogance isn't helping,
<@KTottE> Neither is your ignorance
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Quote: 289785; Rating: 817; [+|-]
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<xi> my parents sent me a fucking text message to tell me they put my dog down today
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Quote: 289792; Rating: 376; [+|-]
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SuprJmpmanCarp00: I can't be the only one who finds it funny that KFC dumped Jason Alexander for their ads in favor of a room full of black people
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Quote: 289910; Rating: -533; [+|-]
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WC128: OMFG that pizza was orgasmic
WC128: it was as if God and Jesus and Mary just bukakked into my mouth
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Quote: 290466; Rating: 2600; [+|-]
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<raven> Any cat people here? I've got a problem with Nicky...
<Leth> I've been known to be handy with a wok
<Lore> Why, I'm a cat person.
<raven> I took Morgan to the vet yesterday - he was gone for a total of 45 minutes, got two vaccs and a blood draw.
<raven> Brought him home and Nicky went BALLISTIC.
<raven> Spent the rest of the night yowling and hissing and attacking MOrgan.
<CrazyClimber> nicky smells the hospital smells on morgan
<Lore> Yeah, I've seen that happen.
<raven> Is there anything I can do to get the hospital stink off him, then? Pack his carrier in coffe grounds or something?
<tieboy> how about a bath
<CrazyClimber> just give it a day or so
<Lore> We tried catnip and butter, and neither worked.
<agent_orange> butter?
<agent_orange> you buttered your cat?
<Lore> Yes.
<raven> it's the best way to butter the house.
<raven> Cats are effective butter delivery units.
<Lore> We read somewhere to put butter on a cat's forehead.
<agent_orange> did the emolient facilitate insertion?
<Lore> And the other cat licks it off, and likes the first cat, because it tastes like butter.
<Lore> As I said, it didn't work.
<agent_orange> you read sopmewhere to put butter on the cats foreWHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING
<tieboy> rub the two cats together vigorously until they smell like each other
<agent_orange> piss on them both at the same time
<tieboy> KITTY TASTES LIKE BUTTER
<raven> It's more fun to put tape on their feet.
<agent_orange> why not do both
<agent_orange> and then get out the handycam
<Lore> I believe what I was thinking was "Maybe it will work. And even if it doesn't, I get to butter the cat's forehead."
<agent_orange> AFHV would *love* some footage of sticky-pawed, freshly buttered cats trying in vain to avoid a stream of steaming miller lite
<Samwise> You know what helps with feuding cats, Lore? Sending me lots of cash.
<agent_orange> now, see, I read somewhere --
<agent_orange> I think it was leviticus
<agent_orange> -- that what you should do is frost them
<agent_orange> betty crocker, right out of the can
<raven> Chocolate or buttercream?
<Leth> rave: go chocolate, buttercreme isn't pareve
<CrazyClimber> you're frosting meat?
<agent_orange> and then there'a always Cat Wellington
<agent_orange> "What are you doing in the kitchen, dear?" "Just buttering the cat, pumpkin!"
<agent_orange> "Why don't you baste the chicken while you're at it, too, dear?" "Baste the ... *light bulb* ...Sure! Sure, I'll 'baste the chicken'!"
<CrazyClimber> a google images search for "buttered cat" returns a picture of isaac hayes
<agent_orange> chocolate salty cat balls
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Quote: 290896; Rating: 1525; [+|-]
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<Flamebird> i was watching Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon the other night.. and i was wondering where all the tigers and dragons are
<Flamebird> then i realised they're all crouching and hidden
<Flamebird> :/
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Quote: 291262; Rating: 8715; [+|-]
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<Mendo> lmao there's a wicked lookign spider on my monitor and if i move the mouse around he chases after it
<spitfire> haha mendo
<spitfire> take a screen shot
<spitfire> wait
<spitfire> that made no sense
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Quote: 291399; Rating: 728; [+|-]
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<Kaelic> I know the trick to talking to girls
<Twinge> Just run up to her and say "DIGGGGITTAALLLL PANNNNTTTSSSSS.... ACTIVATE!"
<Kaelic> Wtf?
<Kaelic> Might as well say "Go Go Gadget Penis!"
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Quote: 291606; Rating: 218; [+|-]
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<Sholin> You know, I went to KFC the other day with my Mother, And she asked them if they had anything fried..
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Quote: 291625; Rating: 584; [+|-]
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<CharColt64> I think when you get a roaming charge a lil icon should pop up, of a guy gettin fucked in the ass
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Quote: 291648; Rating: 649; [+|-]
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<icekickr> i think i made my mom wonder why she ever had me
<icekickr> she told me she was going to a couples shower
<icekickr> so i said, "oh a gangbang"
<icekickr> i guess its times like that
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Quote: 291655; Rating: 2719; [+|-]
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<vai> My mom is like, deathly afraid of worms and she saw one on the sidewalk
<vai> so she made me go get it and she went inside the house, so I went in the house with the worm in my hand
<vai> and she yelled my name and told me to get rid of it, so I threw it outside I came in the house
<vai> she called me an asshole and a son of a bitch
<vai> so I was like "son of a bitch?" she said "shut up, you're adopted go away"
<vai> =(
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Quote: 291732; Rating: 565; [+|-]
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<SuperKing> 90% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house.
<SuperKing> The rest kiss their house goodbye when they leave the wife.
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Quote: 291763; Rating: 814; [+|-]
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[+Hobbes] I was driving by a church on the way home and on the message board out front it said "Under new management"
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Quote: 293414; Rating: 458; [+|-]
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<@knucklz> and i was going to make a joke about the shit i just took
<@knucklz> but it was corny
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Quote: 294080; Rating: 41; [+|-]
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myke: my sex life is over before it began
myke: i'm married
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Quote: 294084; Rating: 256; [+|-]
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* The_Epitome [Playing]: [Enya - Only Time] [3:40][3.36MB]
<Ochre> Enya? My father loves that Enya song at the end of LoTR
<Ochre> but usually by the end of the movie he's drunk as a post, so He'll pretty much listen to anything
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Quote: 294105; Rating: 794; [+|-]
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<Otakutard> Dude... if you put the words "I want to have sex with you until the sun goes down." into a translator, and translate it into Dutch, then back to english
<Otakutard> it comes out
<Otakutard> I want slaughtered with you have to the sun decrease.
<Otakutard> Kinky dutchlanders
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Quote: 294137; Rating: 355; [+|-]
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<Bubbaprog> sweet
<Bubbaprog> my posters came from the museum of modern art
<Bubbaprog> three huuuge art prints, magritte and miro, for 20 buckls shipped
<Bubbaprog> you should see the giant bazooka they came in
<Bubbaprog> it's like a tampon applicator for rosie o'donnell
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Quote: 294158; Rating: 1216; [+|-]
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* kipton is listening to cute gay boy jacking of in his underwear :: 13s
<sprite>...
<kipton> the description is misleading
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Quote: 294724; Rating: 360; [+|-]
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<Tigwa> how funny would it be if you got held-up by a tshirt ninja
<Tigwa> 'can you describe the man?' 'errr....well he looked like he had a ninja hood made from a tshirt, was very pale and thin, and kept yelling i will haxx0r j00'
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Quote: 294744; Rating: 703; [+|-]
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<@Aeriana> University union elections next week, there's this candidate
<@Aeriana> Her poster is like...
<@Aeriana> It says "people + vision = change"
<@Aeriana> I'm thinking.....
<@Aeriana> It doesn't equals change, it will return a data type mismatch.
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Quote: 294869; Rating: 490; [+|-]
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<Supamoochu> do you know durex have a guaruntee that their condoms will not get people preggers
<Supamoochu> i wonder how they refund
<Flamebird> with a free coathanger
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Quote: 294908; Rating: 1505; [+|-]
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<Karnaugh> Nutmeg: are you still sexy?
<Nutmeg> no i lost photoshop
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Quote: 294926; Rating: 466; [+|-]
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*** MindWreck ([email protected]) has joined channel #asianpop
11:07 <MindWreck> !list
11:07 <poeham> --- #asianpop :You're not channel operator
11:07 <poeham> :(
11:08 * poeham was ready to kick that time :(
11:08 <poeham> hey you
11:08 <poeham> LEAVE
*** MindWreck has left channel #asianpop
11:08 <poeham> $$
11:08 * poeham is just as effective from the sidelines
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Quote: 294940; Rating: 2025; [+|-]
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amandahirst2007 : why is it that when you ship something by car it's called shipment and when it's shipped by boat it's called cargo
Vincent_Valentine9 : Cargo is simply a term to describe something held on a ship, plane, truck or train. It has nothing to do with what the cargo is actually used for. The "Shipment" is an item being moved, it got it's name because back in the day, before cars, ships and boats down rivers and oceans were the main form
of travel.
Vincent_Valentine9 : When Planes, trains and automobiles began to be used, the term simply carried over.
amandahirst2007 : ur stupid. asl?
Vincent_Valentine9 : ..........
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Quote: 294947; Rating: 1018; [+|-]
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Terron: I told him I was sick
Terron: He was all like.. bullshit you're not sick
reddkin26: So how'd you get off of work yesterday then?
Terron: I said, "I'm fucking my sister, is that sick enough for you mother fucker?"
Terron: I got my final paycheck yesterday
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Quote: 295020; Rating: 845; [+|-]
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<Dante> so this cinco de mayo bullshit right
<Dante> all the mexicans go cruising in their lowriders all decked out with beaner crap down a certain avenue here
<Brian> haha
<Brian> yeah
<Brian> that would be today
<Dante> so when we got off work, an associate and i
<Dante> we went and bought a big fucking french flag
<Dante> and berets
<Dante> and the french national anthem CD
<Dante> and draped the flag over his Charger
<Brian> HAHAHA
<Dante> and cruised with the mexicans wearing berets and blaring the french anthem
<Dante> we got so many bad looks
<Dante> and whenever we'd pull up at a stop light
<Dante> we'd starting talking about pastries and perfum in french accents to the car next to us
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Quote: 295093; Rating: 698; [+|-]
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<SCVirus> John Stamos is getting divorced just as the Olsen twins turn 18.
<SCVirus> Coincidence? I think not. I think someone is going to be entering
<SCVirus> the backdoors of two little houses very soon. Harder, Uncle Jesse!
<SCVirus> Harder!
<TucksMa> LOL
<kdub> haha
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Quote: 295538; Rating: 674; [+|-]
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<snack`brb> You read about that guy on BBC that got 6 nails stuck in him?
<Crips> yea, mustve been a quake 1 addict suffering withdrawal...i bet he had like 1hp left
<Crips> if it was a super nailgun hed be dead
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Quote: 295862; Rating: 1281; [+|-]
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<Anomaly> There's this one guy in my comp diag class who I've started holding up a folder or paper or something when I'm talking to him just to get him to look me in the eye
<Zero> boobs: a breasting and a curse
<Zero> WHOA
<Zero> a BLESSING and a curse
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Quote: 295915; Rating: 686; |
<Fiz> i'd rather type than talk to a fucking computer
<Fiz> i feel stupid talking to a computer
<Fiz> talking to the TV is okay, because it talks back
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Quote: 295932; Rating: 346; [+|-]
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<Modok> going to England, Germany, Amsterdam, Italy, and then Netherlands
<Numbus> Amsterdam isn't a country it is the Capitol of the Netherlands...
<Modok> It is?
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Quote: 295991; Rating: 1542; [+|-]
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<ednometry> what seperates man from the other animals
<fripple> the 401k
<lavalamp> a condom, hopefully
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Quote: 295992; Rating: 217; [+|-]
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<@len> someone just asked me how to print half a page
<@len> "do you type in .5?"
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Quote: 296099; Rating: -28; [+|-]
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Sonsquidku: You know how people always say "it could be worse"?
theonewhotells: yea
Sonsquidku: Could it get worse than the holocaust?
Sonsquidku: Was there a guy going "it could be worse" while they were being fed into the gas chambers?
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Quote: 296129; Rating: 1252; [+|-]
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<Hagane> I can squeeze through 5 foot gaps in Crimson Skies.
<Michael> Trouble is you can't do that in real life...
<Hagane> Yeah, but it isn't that hard in the game... So it can't be that hard in real life...
<Michael> It's exactly that type of mentality that drives this country forward.
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Quote: 296645; Rating: 2200; [+|-]
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* Mazca just had a singularly scary experience there...
<Ephialtes> what happened Max?
<Mazca> I was just feeling sorry for myself and pissed off about not having a girlfriend, and wondering what I should do to sort my life out...
<Mazca> then my iTunes, AT THAT EXACT MOMENT, started playing "Gay Bar".
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Quote: 297120; Rating: 1776; [+|-]
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niteowl7710: When I went to the website to see what the current cover
niteowl7710: And I got a pop-up from Spice.net...offering me (and I quote)
niteowl7710: MONSTER TITS -- THE LARGEST BREASTS ALLOWED BY LAW
enigmamofm: Wow.
enigmamofm: wait
enigmamofm: "By law?"
niteowl7710: That sir, is what it said
enigmamofm: There's some sort of regulatory legislature on this issue?
niteowl7710: I'm not sure but I now have a new goal in life
niteowl7710: Figure out how to get a job in the Department of Health & Human Services (makes sense to me)
niteowl7710: In the "Breast Measurement Bureau"
niteowl7710: I'm sorry ma'am but those are just too large, I'm going to have to fine you
niteowl7710: Well yes Ms. I'm sure this does just seem like titty fucking, but I assure you is a valuable tool we use here at the B.M.B.
enigmamofm: You are a credit to you community sir.
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Quote: 297858; Rating: 1862; [+|-]
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<%Makoto> How long can a CAT5 cable be, and still maintain a strong signal
<%Makoto> ?
* Makoto ([email protected]) Quit (Connection reset by peer)
<@Col_Kiwi> a little shorter than that
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Quote: 298011; Rating: 269; [+|-]
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<[Crunt]> dammit i thought the rocky horror picture show was on
<[Crunt]> but nooooooooooooooooo
<ha|cyon> it was just family home videos all along?
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Quote: 298932; Rating: -71; [+|-]
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<Jess> r u chatting to her?
<Orestes`> of course I am!
<Jess> u want to start a 3 way?
<Orestes`> kinky.
<Jess> hahahaha!!!!
<Jess> well...
<Orestes`> I'll probably never hear a girl say that again.
<Orestes`> I'm keeping that.
<Orestes`> and I'll add it to my "Thing's you'll never hear a girl say" archive
<Jess> don't u dare!!!!!
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Quote: 299277; Rating: 327; [+|-]
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<Arkangel> If I caught my mom performing at a strip club I'd cheer her on. You know, pay her back for all those times she cheered me on at little league baseball games.
<Arkangel> It's just good karma, ya know?
* [TMBJ]SensoryOverlord makes no little league comments about getting a good grip on your lumber.
<[TMBJ]SensoryOverlord> 'cause that'd be wrong
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Quote: 299382; Rating: 882; [+|-]
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milkmanjb2000: We're talking in biology about dominant and recessive genes in reproduction
milkmanjb2000: and I said "I'm white because I have all dominant genes"
milkmanjb2000: and Matt said, "um, actually, black people have all dominant genes"
milkmanjb2000: looks like someone's genes haven't read world history
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Quote: 299413; Rating: 1768; [+|-]
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<Simich> omg its too hot here
<Simich> and yes, hot in canada, and no, my igloo is not melting
<Simich> BECAUSE I DONT HAVE ONE
<Simich> BITCHES
<[Evil]Zen> O.o
<Rhodz> heh, we dont insult simich about being canadian so he insults himself then lashes out at us
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Quote: 299663; Rating: 1905; [+|-]
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<zetec> I don't think it's physically possible to both laugh and ejaculate at the same time.
<zetec> But I plan on finding out.
* zetec is away - midget porn.
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Quote: 299857; Rating: 57; [+|-]
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<nherzhul> I never realized how much my penis looks like Barakka from Mortal Kombat.
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Quote: 300014; Rating: 1403; |
<Evil Steve> Theres an advert in MSN Messenger: "Buy your winning lottery ticket here"
<Evil Steve> I reckon thats false advertising
<Evil Steve> I should buy one then sue them when I loose
<AnonymousPosterChild> I can represent you in court
<AnonymousPosterChild> I got my law degree online
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Quote: 300288; Rating: 805; [+|-]
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(+PJx5x) yesterday u said ur so good at math cuz all u do is think about pie
(+PJx5x) u fat piece of lard
(@OCNoy|At|Work) well you just have to think about it in terms you understand
(@OCNoy|At|Work) for example
(@OCNoy|At|Work) SIN pi
(@OCNoy|At|Work) is 0, because, if you sin (make love to) a pie, there's none left to eat
(@SmurfiCus) .....
(+PJx5x) riiight
(@SmurfiCus) good way of rember it...
(@SmurfiCus) whats COS PI?
(@SmurfiCus) :)
(@OCNoy|At|Work) -1
(@SmurfiCus) >:X
(@OCNoy|At|Work) it's twice a bad because your cousin had sex with the pie
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Quote: 300381; Rating: 132; [+|-]
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<MXi>My family never let me feed the dog under the table
<MXi>So one day, I made everyone dog food for dinner
<MXi>I swear you might as well have stapled a sign saying "Hypocrite" to their heads.
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