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Quote: 270825; Rating: 649; [+|-]
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<Borgis> Sad, but true. The lively, fun loving, highly animated and eccentric borgis you know and love is nowhere near as exciting in the flesh.
<Borgis> Except for the eccentric part.
<Borgis> Andthe fun-loving part.
<Tedious_Toad> That's okay, if I was half as lively as I am on the net in real life I'd be arrested and tried for murder, beastiality, sodomy, indecent assault, masturbation in public AND indecent exposure
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Quote: 270827; Rating: 199; [+|-]
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<Karma`> Shit, you know you're in trouble when you find yourself listening to ACDC
<Vast|away> yeh, acdc always sneaks up behind me and starts playing and shit
<Vast|away> fucking annoying
<Karma`> You'd think they would have something better to do eh?
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Quote: 270829; Rating: 308; [+|-]
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(making NPCs for D&D)
<Stefanf> Hurrah! I have decided what to spend the remaining 535 gp on!
<Stefanf> The captain of the Stade city guard now owns 267 sheep!
<Neko_Ali> Stefanf: make sure to buy him lots of fantasy bling bling.
<Neko_Ali> Gold plated chainmail.
<Neko_Ali> a solid platinum toasting fork.
<Sutekh> gold plated Bikini
<Stefanf> Diamond-covered ring of protection?
<Neko_Ali> and a totally tricked out low-rider horse with hydraulics!
<Stefanf> lmao!
<Neko_Ali> can't you just see him on inspection parade, bouncing along with his magical music box blaring from the saddle?
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Quote: 270830; Rating: 1035; [+|-]
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badboy> hi any chicks from berwick
SaintBloodyMary> I'm from berwick. Let's meet up at your place and have wild kinky
SaintBloodyMary> Should I bring my own handcuffs and lube or are you all set?
badboy> awesome u wanna come over now
SaintBloodyMary> Sure... because I often fuck strangers from online, it's my hobby.
badboy> bring it u want
badboy> awesome u sound real kewl :()
Supreme_101> SaintBloodyMary willing to travel ?
SaintBloodyMary> Supreme_101: It depends, I'm willing to travel 100km's per inch that your penis is over the average length.
Supreme_101> hmmm... looks like im coming to you then :P
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Quote: 271263; Rating: 376; [+|-]
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< gt3> a million people applied for the apprentice 2
< gt3> and you know damn well its just gonna get outsourced to india
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Quote: 271340; Rating: 917; [+|-]
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<Logan> oh shit, i just got coffee stains and meatball sauce on this guys grandma's death certificate
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Quote: 271540; Rating: 848; [+|-]
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<Seigfried> In other random news, there's a movie based on I, Robot by Issac Asimov coming out starring Will Smith.
<Seigfried> I hear it starts with a 5-minute montage of the cast and crew of the film peeing on Asimov's grave. :P
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Quote: 271566; Rating: 943; [+|-]
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<Rokkr> humor's a good thing
<Rokkr> i always said if you're an ugly guy and you want to get laid you have 2 choices..play an instrument or make women laugh
<tack> or rape them
<Rokkr> that's not laid tack, that's assault =p
<tack> hey, you do things your way, i do things mine
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Quote: 271837; Rating: 360; [+|-]
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<Daleks|> guys i'm seeking for mid 90's hip hop song
<Daleks|> that going like this "na, na na na na, na na na na na..."
<asterax> ...
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Quote: 272726; Rating: 2526; [+|-]
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[brianh] smaller boobs are cool
(Akira1) hmm
[brianh] like the kind that 8 year old girls have
[brianh] 18
[brianh] I fucking meant 18
(Akira1) hahaha
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Quote: 273386; Rating: 1404; [+|-]
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<The_Spaniard:> The White House had an egg hunt today after which they had to admit that there were never any eggs to begin with.
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Quote: 273488; Rating: 733; [+|-]
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<timmyB> yeah well i intend to live forever
<timmyB> so far so good
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Quote: 273495; Rating: 805; [+|-]
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<pizza_biz> greggdogg: parole's over. he had to go back in.
<greggdogg> I figured.
<aLfer> what did he do?
<Dark_Fox> your mom :D
<aLfer> well, i hardly think that would land him in jail.
<Dark_Fox> prostitution is illegal
<aLfer> touche`
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Quote: 273779; Rating: 580; [+|-]
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<jestuh> But fans will have to wait a while for the maverick director to complete his bloodstained trilogy as he won't start filming Kill Bill: Vol 3 until 2019.
<jestuh> wtf
<edit_out> Is he going to breed actors for it?
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Quote: 273902; Rating: 215; [+|-]
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<JimAM> I wonder how long before illegal operations really are illegal operations with DRM.
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Quote: 274037; Rating: -13; [+|-]
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* Sabdo listens to Meat Loaf - Atkins? I FUCKING ATE HIM
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Quote: 274153; Rating: 359; [+|-]
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<KRS922> Boy who go to bed with sex problem wake up with solution in hand.
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Quote: 274517; Rating: 974; [+|-]
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[@DAWG^] song lyrics containing the word "heart" - replace the word with "arse"
[@Chisler] hmmm, interesting idea
[@DAWG^] for example:
[@DAWG^] Celine Dion - my arse will go on
[@DAWG^] Bonnie Tyler - Total eclipse of the arse
[@DAWG^] Kylie Minogue - Hand on your arse
[@DAWG^] Deee-Lite - Groove is in the arse
[@DAWG^] Rod Stewart - You are in my arse
[@DAWG^] Britney Spears - Deep in my arse
[@Chisler] Eurythmics - there must be an angel playing with my arse
[@DAWG^] w00t ^^
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Quote: 274554; Rating: 1156; [+|-]
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<@ITV|VimAtWk> oops
<@ITV|VimAtWk> just heard a kid fell off our local multi-storey car park today
<+chrisss> how high?
<@ITV|VimAtWk> high enough for some natural selection
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Quote: 274808; Rating: -882; [+|-]
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<[01]-Ex> Did you hear about the new nigger barbie? It comes with 12 kids, aids, and a welfare check.
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Quote: 274826; Rating: 6459; [+|-]
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<aryov> This cake is soooo good
<aryov> it's like sex, except I'm having it
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Quote: 275061; Rating: 211; [+|-]
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<The_Capn> Must be a space mummy!
<Card> or, an even more mysterious species
<Card> The species that is so rare, that there is only one left
<Card> and it needs to procreate, so it has come to my bedroom
<Card> Yes, I am talking about the elusive "Your Mom"
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Quote: 275093; Rating: -166; [+|-]
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<destroyer> What does FUBU stand for
<Furious> dunno.. for us by us ?!
<destroyer> Nope!
<furious> Then what does it stand for
<destroyer> Farmers Used to Buy Us
<Juggalo> No it Means Farmers Used to Beat Us
<Furious> Rofl
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Quote: 275311; Rating: 752; [+|-]
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<xIHaveRicketsx> I almost got killed by some Asian woman today.
<xIHaveRicketsx> Asians should learn how to fucking drive.
<slamyouinthebutt> But...you're Asian...
<xIHaveRicketsx> I'm more like a banana: yellow on the outside, white on the inside.
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Quote: 275546; Rating: 1278; [+|-]
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<zurt> When the moon hits your eye like a big piece of pie that's amor'e......... When you're hit by a jug in a South Auckland pub....... that's a mao'ri
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Quote: 276636; Rating: 773; [+|-]
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<Korvus> i found a message in a bottle today
<Korvus> it floated past
<D> what'd it say?
<Korvus> it said: "can you put this in a bin for me please?"
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Quote: 276774; Rating: 668; [+|-]
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<ReFFi|Work> I don't like condom's as it is...
<ReFFi|Work> But I use them faithfully
<ReFFi|Work> I don't want to be that statistic, being the one time I didn't wear it, she got preg...
<Aronnyn|Work> Reffi - I have a friend who affectionately calls her three kids pill, condom, and diaphragm. Nothing worked for her ;)
<Endymion> i'd be worried if she calls her fourth one vasectomy
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Quote: 276955; Rating: 7049; [+|-]
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<Locke|Away> I found a note in one of my old word .docs that said Note to self: Get revenge on Valvados.
<Locke|Away> Except I couldn't remember what I was supposed to get revenge for.
<Locke|Away> But I trusted my own judgment, so I went with it.
<Valvados> ...
<Valvados> o.o
<Valvados> hmm
<Valvados> i dunno what you were supposed to get revenge for, either
<Locke|Away> I can only assume you got what was coming to you. Not 100 percent sure, though.
<Valvados> well, whatever i did, i guess i deserved it
<Locke|Away> Let that possibly be a lesson to you.
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Quote: 277337; Rating: 6891; [+|-]
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<XnD> Personally its not God I dislike, its his fan club I cant stand
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Quote: 277461; Rating: 1367; [+|-]
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<DannyCat> The Fonz playing DDR would be like, him standing there looking cool throughout the song, but not stepping on anything. Then, right as the results screen came up, he'd whack the side of the monitor and it would give him an AAA.
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Quote: 277817; Rating: 1035; [+|-]
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DANIEL: I found a site called SparePartsWarehouse. Being that I'm stupid, I failed to check ResellerRatings or any such thing. My dad ordered a new keyboard from them. $70, I believe. Two days later it gets here, it's not a keyboard. It's a hinge. No, I'm not kidding. They sent a goddamn hinge.
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Quote: 277857; Rating: -277; [+|-]
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<Vampirate> Wow, I maxxed out the mem card in my camera for the first time today
<Vampirate> My daughters dance team was performing in the state/national dance championships today.
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Quote: 277906; Rating: 1008; [+|-]
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ZolaOnAOL: You can't judge a book by its cover.
DrRocksicle: you can if it has no pages
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Quote: 277959; Rating: 120; [+|-]
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(+Jimbo1`friends) where did my savior go
(@Monoxide) did you try the hill top?
(@Monoxide) i heard he was hanging around there
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Quote: 278214; Rating: 1159; [+|-]
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<FireFox> asshole
* FireFox was kicked by Reaper (i dont like your mouth)
<Reaper> ...
* bob sets mode: +b *!*@3AD5BC55.8E488FF8.273333E5.IP
<Reaper> ...
<Reaper> wait no i didnt kick him!
<Reaper> that was a /me!
* Reaper was kicked by bob (your no longer welcome in this channel)
<FireFox> haha
<FireFox> oops
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Quote: 278288; Rating: 1806; [+|-]
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(Thoth) Funniest toilet graffiti this evening: "I fucked your mother!" underneith: "Dad, you're drunk! Go home!"
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Quote: 278745; Rating: 399; [+|-]
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Hyp3rHax0r: bah
Hyp3rHax0r: "Quote #278743 is pending moderation."
Hyp3rHax0r: why don't they just come right out and say it
Hyp3rHax0r: "Quote #278743 is pending rejection."
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Quote: 278755; Rating: 854; [+|-]
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<Whammo> I lost my virginity to a ham sandwich
<WeblionX> That's not losing your virginity.
<Whammo> baloney
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Quote: 278790; Rating: 318; [+|-]
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<kraus> omg, dude i love you in a way that is illegal in most countries.
<pyro> in school i want you to keep atleast a one meter distance away from me. :|
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Quote: 279100; Rating: 1178; [+|-]
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<Rayn> if you had to pick between a compaq and a dell, what would you take?
<Draco> death
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Quote: 279279; Rating: 1957; [+|-]
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<Snoper> how do i find the book I want
<Vultar> Type "@find bookname"
<Snoper> "@find bookname"
<Snoper> It didnt do anything. now what do I do ?
<Vultar> Tell your parents that cousins shouldn't marry...
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Quote: 279357; Rating: 1499; [+|-]
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<Klowner> I listen to rap now and then, just so I can communicate in case my car breaks down in a scary part of town
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Quote: 280066; Rating: 1350; [+|-]
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<Jaeger> whats an oxymoron
<Edgy> Microsoft Works
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Quote: 280579; Rating: 553; [+|-]
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<SwiftWrk> so... warcraft 3 in like 2 hours?
<fugimax> so...
<fugimax> my balls in yo' mouth in like 3 hours?
<LockeCole> erm...if I'm available sure
<LockeCole> damn
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Quote: 280918; Rating: 411; [+|-]
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<Borgis> I think there's air in the pipes in my house
<Borgis> Every time you turn the tap on, the water heater outside makes this loud 'BBBRRRAAAAPPPPP' noise
<Uric> yea
<Uric> that happened at my old house
<Uric> I dont know what it is
<Borgis> Your old house didn't explode or anything did it?
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Quote: 280927; Rating: 877; [+|-]
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<+[GG]Kou> Wow, I was in the bathroom, reading the comic strips, and I came across one I liked, and so I thought "wow I wonder what the score on this one is" and I was expecting something like (894), but instead, it said "Dilbert". :(
<+GPT> wtf is wrong with you... lol
<hi> yeah seriously you fuckin loser who the hell reads dilbert
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Quote: 280934; Rating: 684; [+|-]
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Lord High Rikonian:: then they are not truly letting me "have it my way"
Lord High Rikonian:: Because I want my whopper served to me on the stomach of a nubile quivering 19 year old's belly
Lord High Rikonian:: and I want her vagina filled with ketchup for dipping the fries
Lord High Rikonian:: but will Burger King do that? Nooooooooo
Lord High Rikonian:: fucking false advertisements
anastas:: ummm. Rik... that was nasty
Lord High Rikonian:: I know
Lord High Rikonian:: if a company says you can have it your way...
Lord High Rikonian:: then they should let you have it your way
Zerebus:: .....they obviously weren't referring to Lord High Rikonian.
Lord High Rikonian:: well obviously
Lord High Rikonian:: why must I be persecuted so by corporate America?
Zerebus:: because you're one sick bastard
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Quote: 281238; Rating: 725; [+|-]
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<seisan> New hacking tool: chocolate
<seisan> A survey of office workers in London found that almost three quarters would reveal their network-access password in exchange for a bar of chocolate.
<Echo|Fox> The same survey also revealed that 84% of male respondants would give up their bank PIN code for a blow job.
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Quote: 281263; Rating: 823; [+|-]
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<CloneGamer> dude
<CloneGamer> i just went to put this tape on and its at the bottom of the pile right..
<CloneGamer> so in true table cloth style i yanked it out swiftly
<CloneGamer> also in true table cloth style, it went miserably wrong and like 15 tapes landed on my head
<CloneGamer> and like then my mum come in, wondering wtf the commotion was
<CloneGamer> and like, i was also like a little 'uncovered' cus i was 'polishing'
<CloneGamer> and i see the door move and see her face and covered myself up but my balls were still showing
<CloneGamer> she just looks at me, looks down, looks at the tape, rolls her eyes and walks off
<CloneGamer> i tell you, i aint leaving my room for days :'(
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Quote: 281421; Rating: 5058; [+|-]
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mdiym42: note to self
mdiym42: make sure your cat is not sleeping in the bass drum before you start playing them
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