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Quote: 238880; Rating: 1417; [+|-]
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<LexMortis> have i told you about a dream i had?
<LexMortis> a lion attacked me
<LexMortis> and bit off my finger
<LexMortis> after the fight n all was over
<LexMortis> i looked at my hands
<LexMortis> and went like "great, now i can only count to 9"
<LexMortis> even my unconsciousness is retarded =
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Quote: 238914; Rating: 392; [+|-]
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<nien_rima> actually, jaffars right there
<Jaffar> Oh for the love of Christ, shut the Hell --
<Jaffar> Oh wait.
<Jaffar> You were agreeing with me.
<Jaffar> Nevermind then, carry on.
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Quote: 238915; Rating: 430; [+|-]
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<nimja> so I am afraid I might have scared some people in my photo iii class tonight
<nimja> this fucking housefly landed on my notes in the middle of a lecture on split-filter printing techniques
<nimja> and so I used my ultimate nimja powers to kill it with my bare hand
<nimja> LIGHTNING FAST.
<nimja> (it seriously was impressive)
<nimja> but then I stabbed said housefly three (or maybe ten) times with my ballpopint pen while yelling "DIE!! DIE!!! DIE!!!"
<nimja> *class went silent*
<nimja> I said: "Sorry, it just seems like it was the thing to do right then."
<nimja> prof didn't miss a beat, pretended to wipe bug guts off his tie, and then proceeded to discuss the use of filters 1/4 vs 0/5
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Quote: 238929; Rating: 259; [+|-]
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hadesup: for a quarter? you capitalist whore.
badgerwithagun: hey, a quarter is a fifth of a dollar!
hadesup: ...
hadesup:um. you mean fourth
badgerwithagun: whatever.
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Quote: 238969; Rating: 1290; [+|-]
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* Reddog is now known as You
* You have performed an Illegal operation, please Restart Windows
* You is now known as Reddog
* Desh has quit IRC (Quit: brb gotta restart windows...stupid trillian yelling at me)
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Quote: 238979; Rating: 638; [+|-]
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<Sherazard> some times i wonder when i was 10 if i had hair in certian areas
<Sherazard> sometimes i wish i could go back in time and check
<Sherazard> just to put my curiosity to rest, you know
<Sherazard> but then i think, what would i say to 10 year old me?
<Sherazard> "hi, i'm your future self, take your pants off. i need to check something"
<Sherazard> that'd probably scar me
<Sherazard> and as a result my current self would be even *more* fucked up
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Quote: 238989; Rating: 554; [+|-]
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<korosu> I can't believe I just took a shit in my bathing suit at the beach. What the fuck? I cant stand up and take it to the ocean, because I am wading in a puddle of feces at this very moment. Any change in my seating position will send my poo spilling down my legs and into view of every sunbather within 30 feet of
me. There is no way I can play this off as a fart.
<korosu> It doesn't help at all that I've been spun out for 3 days. I can hardly see straight! How am I possibly going to explain this to my wife when she comes back from getting chili dogs to ask me what the fuck I just did in the presence of my children? She'll make me drop trau in front of everyone again. There it
is. The family on the blanket to the right of me just asked if I could smell "that". I gotta go.
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Quote: 239005; Rating: 872; [+|-]
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<Rewt> oooh
<Rewt> panic room is on.
<Rewt> I'd have wireless internet in my panic room
<Rewt> except with my luck, my plea for help would end up posted on bash.org
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Quote: 239040; Rating: 680; [+|-]
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<dawm> i wonder
<dawm> if i can ban myself
<dawm> oops
<dawm> you can
<dawm> im banned from my own blog
<dawm> BAHAHHAHA
<dawm> shit
<dawm> thats unreversable
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Quote: 239081; Rating: 925; [+|-]
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<Midnight> Telemarketers are sooo fun to screw with.
<Midnight> Like this one time, I got a call from one obviously trying to get me to change my long distance carrier or some b.s. like that.
<Midnight> The dialogue went something like this:
"May I speak person who is in charge of the phone services in your house?"
"Ummmm...We don't have a phone."
"Well, then what are you talking to me on?"
"A banana?"
<Midnight> I think they hung up after that.
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Quote: 239088; Rating: 517; [+|-]
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<JazzMan131> Dude, don't you find it weird that read and read are spelled the same?
<BenBish> ....
<BenBish> Naw man, not really.
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Quote: 239102; Rating: 1738; [+|-]
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sdrawkcab yekim: tomorrow i'm going to drink 10 gallons of water
revmoo: why
sdrawkcab yekim: i wanna see how long i can pee for one time
revmoo1: that's it, I'm done with the Internet
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Quote: 239106; Rating: 280; [+|-]
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[zekester] who the hell likes siliconed up tits
[DreadQ] any tit is better than no tit
[DreadQ] except them ones you pay some ho 10 bucks in the park to flash
[zekester] 10 bucks to flash?
[zekester] you can get a baseball bat for 10 bucks and that'll get you more than a flash
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Quote: 239140; Rating: 766; [+|-]
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<CactusJac> I remember the days when I was angry at the world for no apparent reason
<CactusJac> Then I grew up and found a reason: PEOPLE ARE FUCKING STUPID AND SHOULD BE ROUND UP AND SHOT IN THE HEAD
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Quote: 239151; Rating: 825; [+|-]
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<ColonelCoroner> Damn, my girlfriend just fucking confused herself in trying to use the calculator on her cell. Stupid bitch.
<Piro-nuts> ...dude, what did you expect from the peroxide-bleached blonde?
<ColonelCoroner> I dun fuckin know. She CALLED me on her cell, to ask how to USE the calculator on her cell.
<Piro-nuts> I think women are INNATELY stupid, that's the only reason to explain it.
<ColonelCoroner> Dude, with all this cloning and genome shit going around, there's gotta be a time when women will contain intelligent DNA.
<Piro-nuts> Yah, but like, 90% of them spit it out...
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Quote: 239159; Rating: 533; [+|-]
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<Dave> You know, Bash should merge with SomethingAwful. Then it could be a homogenous collection of stupid and unfunny crap
<Mobsta> Something Bashful?
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Quote: 239178; Rating: 1071; [+|-]
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* MouLDY_LLaMa is now known as JohnnyDepIsCrap
<JohnnyDepIsCrap> :
<I_Am_Great> you spelt it worn
<I_Am_Great> g
<I_Am_Great> *worng
<JohnnyDepIsCrap> i know
<I_Am_Great> *wrtong
<I_Am_Great> *wrong
<I_Am_Great> damn
<JohnnyDepIsCrap> hahaha
<I_Am_Great> talk about spelling thing worng
<I_Am_Great> fuck
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Quote: 239192; Rating: 357; [+|-]
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<@[LH]PeterDoug> i am answering peoples questions on private messages if anyone is interested
<@megat> ... peter you just said that to 2000 people.
<@megat> good luck.
<@[LH]PeterDoug> hang on there is too many of you
* @megat giggles
<@[LH]Sam|WORK> Peter will be here for the next 6 weeks :D
<@[LH]NeilOfDoom> there are 2600 of you
* +meeb headbutts the nearest wall
<[DWC]-Web^Douch> :)
<@[LH]ChrisB> Peter's poor computer has 2000 PM's and 5 laughing developers...
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Quote: 239215; Rating: 252; [+|-]
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<kellin> I honestly don't think I'm all that big.
<fishphood> I don't like big penis.
<Dairenn> fishphood, meet kellin.
<kellin> UH.
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Quote: 239322; Rating: 2629; [+|-]
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<stuberg> we got home from fishos at about 3 am drank as fuck
<stuberg> drunk*
<stuberg> and decided to have this mass acid/shrooms binge
<stuberg> and we kept goin all mornin on it like trippin out crazy and watching some chinese subtitle moviee
<stuberg> and at about 8.30 in the mornign paulie decides he has to go to school and he actually left and walked to school
<pualat> ur friend went school on an acid/mushies trip nice
<stuberg> no no u dont get it, hes 24 and owns his own business hes not sposed to go to school
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Quote: 239353; Rating: 453; [+|-]
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<[Yu-Ominae]> brb nature calls
* [Yu-Ominae] goes outside and rolls in the bushes naked
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Quote: 239395; Rating: 803; [+|-]
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thebud: the passion of the christ?
Indago: if i wanted to see a bad actor get nailed, I'd watch the paris hilton video
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Quote: 239434; Rating: 1628; |
<Prtygrrl> what does OMG mean?
<gi> Oh my god.
<Prtygrrl> well escuse me for being a little newbie, mr. oh-im-so-1337.
<gi> What?
<Prtygrrl> you know, you dont have to be so mean. i hope you fall and hurt yourself reallyreally bad.
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Quote: 239439; Rating: 280; [+|-]
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(+{-ReV-}) http://www.eden.rutgers.edu/~husainm/Animated/milkit.gif thats stupid the glass isn't even filling up how am i supposed to believe it then
(jizzypop_) hehe
(jizzypop_) you just have to have faith
(+{-ReV-}) like the song
(@J_bomb) rev it's a new GIF version
(@J_bomb) if you wait long enough, they'll fill up
(@J_bomb) it has extra frames
(+{-ReV-}) ok
(@J_bomb) just sit and stare
(+{-ReV-}) i'll put my finger on the screen to mark the progression of the milk
20 minutes later...
(+{-ReV-}) ok dammit
(+{-ReV-}) i fucking quit
(+{-ReV-}) screw the milk
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Quote: 239529; Rating: 218; [+|-]
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<.04+Makkavelli.> damn it all
* +Makkavelli is back from "Carefully soldering a mod chip into my PS2." I was gone for 1hr 51mins <+Makkavelli> As soon as my dad saw what I was doing, he tried to "help"
<+Makkavelli> His version of "help" was to burn through the fucking laser cable
<+Makkavelli> with the soldering iron
<+Makkavelli> Son of a bitch
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Quote: 239554; Rating: 299; [+|-]
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<Asmodean> WTF? I'm watching this guy with a leaf blower, blowing mulch across he parking lot.
<Xuande> Lots of people with names from Three Kingdoms on bash.org
<Asmodean> He blew it all one way
<Asmodean> then walked around, and blew it back in the opposite direction.
<Asmodean> da hell?
<Icchan-san> he's getting paid by the hour
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Quote: 239571; Rating: 393; [+|-]
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<RuleR-> jesus christ, i farted so loud my dog ran away from my room
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Quote: 239578; Rating: 251; [+|-]
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<Tigs> does anyone have a ruler i can borrow?
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Quote: 239582; Rating: 400; [+|-]
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<@Zero_C> This game makes me happy
<@Zero_C> http://www.fairyland.com.my/
<@Zero_C> It has faries ^_^
<@Zero_C> I feel like a 3 year old queer boy all over again
<@Zero_C> What the fuck
<@Zero_C> It wants my social security number
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Quote: 239601; Rating: 912; [+|-]
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<Jack> I hit a new low today
<Jack> I claimed lag when I tipped over a cup as I was reaching for it
<Jack> out loud.
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Quote: 239650; Rating: 232; [+|-]
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<drangdloon> I work on my knees 8-10 hours a day..
<drangdloon> get your minds out of the gutter
<drangdloon> i am a flooring contractor
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Quote: 239680; Rating: 287; [+|-]
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* Joins: kickurass
*** wes changes the topic to 'latest: phoenix 2.1 gamecobe loader'
*** wes changes the topic to 'latest: phoenix 2.1 gamecube looder'
<wes> shit, that i suck lol.
*** wes changes the topic to 'update: latest phoenix 2.1 loader for gamecube'
<kickurass> can someone tell me what's the latest version of the phoenix loader is???
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Quote: 239701; Rating: 531; [+|-]
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<skitax> finally
<skitax> i just upgraded to 56k
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Quote: 239710; Rating: 461; [+|-]
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<+llamaInAbox> i have lint in my eye
<+llamaInAbox> this is not nice
<+ApEtc> Remove it
<+llamaInAbox> the eye?
<+ApEtc> Whichever stops your complaining
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Quote: 239711; Rating: 772; [+|-]
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<Marilyn> I have a very large trouser snake in my backyard!!
<RaydenUni> trouser snake?
<Diazo> good for you
<RaydenUni> what's that?
<RaydenUni> a big snake that crawls up your trousers?
-a few seconds pass-
<RaydenUni> wtf? don't look up "trouser snake" on google
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Quote: 239720; Rating: 400; [+|-]
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<port-> well peace out fuckers
<port-> im done with soa
<port-> email me if u want to talk, odoyle has the address.
* port- sets mode: -o port-
* port- ([email protected]) has left #soangels
<ap0c> heh
<ap0c> he'll be back
* port- ([email protected]) has joined #soangels
<port-> god damn autojoin
* port- ([email protected]) has left #soangels
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Quote: 239735; Rating: 545; [+|-]
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ericZir: what a retard
Shyne Po: Lol yeah
ericZir: retard*
ericZir: oh
ericZir: nvm
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Quote: 239799; Rating: 725; [+|-]
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<swesticles> OK, I fixed my match.com profile. Sadly, I'll still be a gay man with a nice butt that likes kittens for 24-72 hours until my new profile is approved :(
<Psion> what?
<swesticles> I changed my password, too, so whatever assfuck hacked my account can suck my dick.
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Quote: 239817; Rating: 1461; [+|-]
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<my_ass_is_hot> So the vice principle was fucking like, sweating because she was a fat bitch and it was lunch time
<uber_bob> lol
<my_ass_is_hot> so as soon as the bell rings she rushes out of the office like a scud missle heading for a childrens daycare
<krazykillah> ROFl
<my_ass_is_hot> but when she comes back there are like 6 of us there waiting for her and she says, "all right, whos my next victim?"
<my_ass_is_hot> and I yell, "A CHEESEBURGER!"
<my_ass_is_hot> there was this huge silence and then everybody in the room including some other teacher started laughing like hell and the fat bitch is just staring like she wants to kill me
<my_ass_is_hot> i got suspended :(
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Quote: 239870; Rating: 799; [+|-]
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punkass keith: did i tell you my aborted baby idea?
ecj: no what is it
punkass keith: if i was a girl, i would get pregnant as many times as possible, then have abortions after the third month of beign pregnat so i would deliver a potatoe sized 1/3 developed dead fetus, then i would take the fetus, put it in a jar of perservative liquid and put it on a shelf in a secret room in my
house. and i would do it until i had so many the rooms walls were nothign but potatoe sized aborted fetuses. then i would have a kid and when they're bad i would make them sit in the fetus room and remind them of how easy i could have aborted their ass.
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Quote: 239936; Rating: 428; [+|-]
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<MassHysteria> I must have been high when I did up my linux box.
<MassHysteria> fuckin a.. this sucks.. now I'm gonna haveta reinstall everything.
<MassHysteria> ah well.. I'll chalk it up to experience
<Hominid> "I had to reinstall Linux. 'Cause I got high, 'cause I got high."
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Quote: 239953; Rating: 247; [+|-]
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<Eagon> yeah we talk about important stuff in here
<ded_guy> yeah
<ded_guy> so, who in here has gas?
<spatula> i do
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Quote: 239995; Rating: 1434; [+|-]
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<Drychtnath> csn hold sm u ajcp;pjp
<Drychtnath> *I cns hdol mu alclhoo
<Drychtnath> *can, *hold, *my, *alcohol
<getoutofmygalley> You should really go to bed, Dan. You're way too drunk.
<Drychtnath> butr i'm not
<Drychtnath> least i don't think dfo
<Drychtnath> dfo = spo
<Drychtnath> spo = os
<Drychtnath> os = so
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Quote: 240013; Rating: 157; [+|-]
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<CCCXLVI> Ok so what I'm saying is, that CapnSilver said she was ugly, so that must mean that any girl that he has had any sort of relationship with must be BETTER looking than Paris Hilton... So basically he has only gone out with models??
<CCCXLVI> Which we all know is utter shit.
<jaxxon> your argument is 'shes better looking because i say so'
<CCCXLVI> Bullshit, that's my whole argument just there.
<CCCXLVI> Read it you fucking ignoramous.
<CapnSilver> the flaw in your arguement is that you think you're right
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Quote: 240021; Rating: 201; [+|-]
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<benko> 302 Found -> Location: http://127.0.0.1/your_machine_has_been_blocked_by_sourceforge.net_due_to_heavy_volume--usually-crawling...
<benko> damndamndamn
<benko> working for a search engine company does have its downsides :-/
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Quote: 240030; Rating: 122; [+|-]
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<Alby_Fox> if pirating movies was an olympic sport I'd be canada
<Alby_Fox> or some other country
<Alby_Fox> that loses
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Quote: 240044; Rating: 1551; [+|-]
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<DeAdiNsiDe> WOooOH!
<DeAdiNsiDe> SPIDERS!!!!!!!!
<Spiders> yes?
<DeAdiNsiDe> I FOUND MY DICK!!!
<DeAdiNsiDe> I FOUND MY DICK!!!
<DeAdiNsiDe> I FOUND MY DICK!!!
<DeAdiNsiDe> err
<DeAdiNsiDe> disk!
<Spiders> hahaha
<DeAdiNsiDe> Ooh fuck
<DeAdiNsiDe> im never gonna hear the end of that one
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Quote: 240059; Rating: 236; [+|-]
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<Doh_> programming is the act of creating a computer program
<Doh_> not of copying and pasting other peoples code
<Doh_> not to mention on the grand scheme of things, youre program is about as complex as the little clicky thing on the end of some pens
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Quote: 240088; Rating: 248; [+|-]
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<mefwork> haha, someone from purchasing sent out an email marked urgent -- WE WILL NOT BE BUYING COLORED POST-IT NOTES ANY LONGER AS THEY ARE MORE EXPENSIVE THAN THE STANDARD YELLOW COLORED ONES
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