|
Quote: 230775; Rating: -5; [+|-]
|
<myr> grep me! oh grep me baby!
<myr> run your shells! keep my daemons happy!
<myr> you turn my kernel inside out!
<myr> time to put on the red hat!
<myr> is that a penguin i see sticking out of your pants hun?
<myr> linux geeks having sex
|
|
Quote: 230794; Rating: 675; [+|-]
|
<Foobar> i had to deliver something to a business downtown that was next door to EMI Music Canada
<Foobar> i was very tempted to walk in the front lobby, scream "I DOWNLOAD MP3S, BITCHES" and run out
|
|
Quote: 230936; Rating: 2140; [+|-]
|
<Nubbers> Is there any listing of the criteria for a bash quote, anyway? Or should I just make a joke combining masturbation, child pornography, racism, and dungeons and dragons...
<Edible> If it has "bash.org" or "nigger" in it, it'll get in. Watch.
<Edible> Hey, so nigger I nigger with nigger to nigger bash.org nigger bash.org bash.org nigger nigger nigger.
|
|
Quote: 230953; Rating: 812; [+|-]
|
<Ged> uh, my big brother has got some girl in his room.. they sound really nasty
<Ged> and her name doesn't end in .jpg
<G0rk> .avi then?
<Ged> indeed, if I can just find my video-cam
|
|
Quote: 231033; Rating: 184; [+|-]
|
[hehohno] I really swear rev is a music columnist.
[hehohno] You have that bitter, "radiohead is ok, if you like rehashed pink floyd tracks" feel about you.
|
|
Quote: 231076; Rating: 242; [+|-]
|
<DarkOne> This nightvision effect simply looks as if someone replaced your monitor with a bowl of lime sherbert.
|
|
Quote: 231143; Rating: 200; [+|-]
|
Geezer_The_Douche: I want a customised Nintendo Powerglove that shoots cancer at people.
|
|
Quote: 231177; Rating: -7; [+|-]
|
<atarax> black people were invented by the government to get rid of the crack
|
|
Quote: 231223; Rating: 1216; [+|-]
|
<lude> Short summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat.
|
|
Quote: 231237; Rating: 1685; [+|-]
|
<wasted> fuck
<wasted> lol
<wasted> apperantly transparancy can go 100%
<wasted> invisible
<wasted> i have a window somewhere. in my screen.
<wasted> god knows where ;
<sc0tt> LOL
|
|
Quote: 231241; Rating: 313; [+|-]
|
<+Allahkat> Or say that you heard a rumour about some gays having the female reproductive organs taken out of their dyke friends, and insterted into their ass, so they CAN reproduce.
<+Allahkat> Or something as stupid as that.
<+Allahkat> See how many fall for it.
<@asshat> thats genius
<@asshat> imagine having a uterus in your ass
<@asshat> you could totally poop a kid out
<@bunnieWork> shit a kid.
<@bunnieWork> a shitday instead of a birthday.
<@asshat> then you have the right to call them little shits
|
|
Quote: 231477; Rating: 439; [+|-]
|
<Gloomster> I'm not white
<Gloomster> I'm rhythmically challenged
|
|
Quote: 231527; Rating: 357; [+|-]
|
<Chibi-Trekkie> at school, some guy was like
<Chibi-Trekkie> are you going to prom?
<Chibi-Trekkie> and another guy was like PRON!? WHERE
|
|
Quote: 231529; Rating: 184; [+|-]
|
<QuantumKat> Whitehouse Communications Director Dan Bartlett has admitted that 'applause lines' were written into the President's State of the Union Address of 2004. He went on to say some of the applause was genuine.
<QuantumKat> everybody clap now
<mash|dead> ...
<mikedude> <applause sign lights up>
|
|
Quote: 231741; Rating: 1403; [+|-]
|
<@Sprache> what do you guys know about the company that makes RealPlayer?
<@KtuLi> I'd tell you, but the information is still buffering
|
|
Quote: 232020; Rating: 350; [+|-]
|
<b1u3> good...admitting your stupidity is the first step to disguising it as charming immaturity.
|
|
Quote: 232034; Rating: 200; [+|-]
|
<Kyote> What the fuck would a British version of Fight Club be? Two really pale guys calling each other wankers and throwing teabags around?
|
|
Quote: 232127; Rating: 554; [+|-]
|
<joeman> Rosa Parks is my idol.
<joeman> I, too, refuse to get up out of my seat.
|
|
Quote: 232298; Rating: 846; [+|-]
|
<Bazz> Every day you give me food, and yet I dont eat. I always stand on four legs. What am I?
<Costilled> Calista Flockhart
|
|
Quote: 232554; Rating: 556; [+|-]
|
<Tempest> Has anyone seen Passion of the Christ?
<Yuki> I heard the guy playing Jesus was struck by lighting twice while working on the set.
<Mister Mittens> I've heard that as well... And I think someone else on the set was hit by lightning as well... not sure
<Quinton> GOOD MOVIE
<Teal> They weren't hit by lightning. They were smote. There's a difference.
|
|
Quote: 233166; Rating: 693; [+|-]
|
<[-will-]> damnit
<[-will-]> I cant find my video card
<Excors> Overclock it, then look for the source of the smoke
|
|
Quote: 233274; Rating: 624; [+|-]
|
<~DuDE~> My sister was driving home today
<~DuDE~> Somebody comited suicide by jumping of a bridge onto the motorway
<~DuDE~> And landed on my sister's bonnet!
<Barnes> Jesus christ that's terrible!
<Barnes> She'll lose her no claims discount on her insurance!
|
|
Quote: 233282; Rating: 1664; [+|-]
|
<David> Finally. It works. My Palm is working.
<schnorks> Now you can hold stuff
|
|
Quote: 233284; Rating: 361; [+|-]
|
<LukeIsTerrified> R. Kelly says: "Osama bin Laden is the only one who knows exactly what I'm going through."
<LukeIsTerrified> I love it.
<Brave-o> He believes he can fly.
<Brave-o> Into buildings.
|
|
Quote: 233293; Rating: 1044; [+|-]
|
<@Dogpile> 88. Who recorded "Join Together" in 1972?
<Tback> like who knows these
<@Dogpile> Tback got the answer: the who. In: 2.43 secs. Streak: 1. Current wins 23!
|
|
Quote: 233331; Rating: 1189; [+|-]
|
<jamesd> "... being a Linux user is sort of like living in a house inhabited by a large family of carpenters and architects. Every morning when you wake up, the house is a little different. Maybe there is a new turret, or some walls have moved. Or perhaps someone has temporarily removed the floor under your bed."
* kop_ ([email protected]) has joined #solaris
<sheenmaster> jamesd: being an OpenServer or UNIXWare user is like living in a house that hasn't been touched by a carpenter or inspected by an architect in years. Every morning when you wake up, the neighbor's house is a little better. You are justing thankful that the floor hasn't fallen out from beneath your bed,
cause you know it'll be half a decade before its fixed.
* RainbowW has quit (Read error: 54 (Connection reset by peer))
<sheenmaster> jamesd: being a Windows user is like living is a cheap vegas hotel. Every morning, you wake up with a new disease. The floor beneath your bed is likely to fall through at any time, but at least you can burn the hotel down and rebuild it or move to another room.
<jamesd> "Memory is like gasoline. You use it up when you are running. Of course you get it all back when you reboot..."
<jamesd> -- Actual explanation obtained from the Micro$oft help desk.
<sheenmaster> haha
<sheenmaster> Damn Microsoft for coming up with better jokes than we do!
|
|
Quote: 233448; Rating: 1229; [+|-]
|
<Rendrag> just remember your car actually has to stop at stop signs
<Rendrag> my driving teacher only told me my wheels must stop rotating
<Rendrag> i took her at her word
<Rendrag> and slid it round the corner onto the main street at 60 with all four wheels locked up
<LDM> hahahahahaha, Nice one.
<Rendrag> needless to say i had to sit my test a second time :
|
|
Quote: 233535; Rating: 678; [+|-]
|
<mrsnazz> I'm a phreaker, you know what I mean, and I flip the little switch on the red box
<mrsnazz> on the redbox, on the redbox yea
<mrsnazz> I'm to elite for my shirt, to elite for my shirt, so elite it hurts
<nickr> on the pay phone, on the payphone
<mrsnazz> yea
<mrsnazz> i play my little tone to the payphone
|
|
Quote: 233610; Rating: 1264; [+|-]
|
<kjones> last night i had sex with a model.
<simtaxijunki> O.o
<kjones> but then the glue melted
<kjones> and one of the wings fell off.
<kjones> go figure.
|
|
Quote: 233651; Rating: 1374; [+|-]
|
<Chrisodeo> veni, veni, veni.
<CrazySteve> Pervert.
|
|
Quote: 233654; Rating: 620; [+|-]
|
<spyder> fuck it
<spyder> ima go kill myself
<spyder> bbl
|
|
Quote: 233682; Rating: 1592; [+|-]
|
AntF22: dude
AntF22: "goober" in pig latin is "oober gay"
AntF22: hahahahaha
|
|
Quote: 233731; Rating: 1612; [+|-]
|
<EinHander MK II> wtf... how did my cat get INSIDE my computer case...
|
|
Quote: 234183; Rating: 294; [+|-]
|
<Dan> I was at a funeral
<Saria> catholics suck..
<Dan> And I was drinking a pop
<Dan> And for some stupid reason... the holy water was plugged into an electrical socket
<Dan> So the wire was just kinda hanging out
<Saria> so do pentecostals
<Dan> So I trip on it... land in the holy water, spilling this brown pop in the holy water
<Saria> lol
<Saria> :/
<lophyte> LOL
<lophyte> awesome
<Dan> I look down and said "Whoa.. it's holy crap!"
<lophyte> LMAO
<lophyte> HAHAHA
<Saria> LOL
<Dan> Never saw the inside of that church again...
|
|
Quote: 234201; Rating: 1365; [+|-]
|
<JerZgirl> damn i wish my husband would quit cruising around looking for access points and come home already!
<Demon> Back when I was a kid, we just called them `girls'.
<digia> lmao
|
|
Quote: 234263; Rating: 834; [+|-]
|
<chanman3> i was looking up slaves for a school project on yahoo
<chanman3> on of the ads was: Buy and Sell "slaves" on E-bay.
|
|
Quote: 234706; Rating: 222; [+|-]
|
<@debaser> so
<@debaser> i'm kinda looking forward to seeing the passion
<blister> the question is though: which bitch is going to get naked in this story (the hotty from Braveheart == win!)
<Azra`el> jesus died a virgin man
<Azra`el> remember?
<Pi> Azra`el: but Jesus got tempted like a mofo
<Pi> so some chick's probably all "let's sex0r" and he's all "get thee behind me"
<blister> if they did that
<blister> i'd go see it
|
|
Quote: 234735; Rating: 1720; [+|-]
|
<Clinton> "Here in canada, we have a special program to deal with the homeless, its called "winter""
|
|
Quote: 234970; Rating: 6427; [+|-]
|
<Tedward> so there's this pimp right. he's collecting money from his three ho's.
<Tedward> he goes to the first ho and asks for his $100. she says, "But I only owe you $50!"
<Tedward> he slaps her and says, "don't correct me, bitch!"
<Tedward> he asks the next ho for $150. she says, "But I only owe you $100!"
<Tedward> he slaps her and says, "don't correct me, bitch!"
<Tedward> now he goes to his third ho.
<Tedward> he asks for $200. "but I only owe you $150!"
<Tedward> he slaps her and says, "don't correct me, bitch!"
<Tedward> next he visits the fourth ho.
<Tedward> he asks her for his $250.
<Thy_Dungeonman> hold on, wait a sec
<Tedward> what?
<Thy_Dungeonman> you said three ho's, not four. idioth.
*Tedward slaps Thy_Dungeonman
<Tedward> Don't correct me, bitch.
|
|
Quote: 235003; Rating: 2011; [+|-]
|
Dracula: Roses are red
Dracula: Violets are blue
Dracula: this line doesn't rhyme
Dracula: and neither does this one
|
|
Quote: 235781; Rating: 439; [+|-]
|
<amped> f7 then :D
<Pockets> lol
<Pockets> yup
<amped> heh
<Pockets> bye bye cruiser :P
<amped> a3?
<Pockets> miss
<Pockets> i3
<VanJeans> there's something very sad about IRC battleships :/
<Pockets> yeah ur in the middle of it biartch! :D
<amped> miss, a4
<Pockets> sunk :/
<amped> woo!
<VanJeans> ...sad ... very sad
|
|
Quote: 236305; Rating: 411; [+|-]
|
<!fis> finally my nickalert works =D
<!fis> FUCK
<!fis> i think my screen just burnt through
<!fis> i can type
<!fis> but i don't see anything
<!Purge> fis
<!Purge> fis
<!Purge> fis
<!Purge> fis
<!Purge> fis
<!Purge> fis
<!fis> stop that
<!Purge> actually.. i just tried to morse you something =/
|
|
Quote: 236399; Rating: 734; [+|-]
|
* Lembas found an awesome headline in today's paper.
<Lembas> Violence in Israel.
* Bonzai fails to see the awesomeness, that's like "Snow in Siberia"
<Bruce_MacCulloch> or "Idiots in Washington"
|
|
Quote: 236401; Rating: 451; [+|-]
|
<the_stick> I finally managed to get rid of Linux
<the_stick> Unfortunately I got rid of windows and all my data in the process
<the_stick> guess it didnt want to go down without a fight
|
|
Quote: 236412; Rating: 301; [+|-]
|
* MogKnight fires suicide bombers at acpo
<MogKnight> FOR ALLAH.
<Cassie> don't mock allah :(
<Cassie> he is my god
<rikku> SO YOUR ARBIAN!!!!
<Cassie> yes, i'm from Arbia
|
|
Quote: 236466; Rating: 2349; [+|-]
|
Seijurro1234: IM NOT ON AOL .. IM ON AMERICA ONLINE
Seijurro1234: RETARD
|
|
Quote: 236870; Rating: 325; [+|-]
|
<Bmann> its supposed to be 60 tomorrow?
<brendando> its nice out here
<brendando> Not that I have been outside in 2 days
<brendando> But I'm near a window
|
|
Quote: 236900; Rating: 572; [+|-]
|
<Serafijn> what's that film with the ship and the ghosts?
<Nightchill> Ghostship?
<Serafijn> oh yeah
|
|
Quote: 236904; Rating: 421; [+|-]
|
<Jaz> You're catholic, right jay?
<@Jaayy> you and me both.
<Jaz> What are you giving up for lent?
<@Jaayy> Catholocism.
<Jaz> how ironic.
|
|
Quote: 237170; Rating: 286; [+|-]
|
tobby14 ([email protected]) has joined #Lobby
<tobby14> whats up you all mudafuckers
<@Dante> i think you're on the wrong server
<@Dante> you want irc.whitetrash.wigger.net
|
|