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Quote: 222744; Rating: 324; [+|-]
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<kats`awake> sometimes when i masturbate i look up at my hand and say gg
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Quote: 222940; Rating: 877; [+|-]
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<+Ralan> atkins works not because its a good diet, because people who are on it burn so much energy because they can't shut the fuck up about being on atkins
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Quote: 223120; Rating: 776; [+|-]
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BornDead: my dick says straight but it doesnt mean i love the pussy!
BornDead: wait..
BornDead: no
BornDead: other way around
BornDead: OTHER WAY
G13LinK: . . .
G13LinK: I wish there were some tool to measure the amount of respect I lose in you every time you say something...
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Quote: 223408; Rating: 529; [+|-]
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(@WrmSlayer] wow
(@WrmSlayer] american scientists are spending millions of dollars learning to grow monkey sperm inside mice...
(+smilertoo] have they said WHY?
(@WrmSlayer] new product line for mcdonalds
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Quote: 223524; Rating: 1208; [+|-]
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<supremo>hey, i heard somewhere that the size of the cock a woman enjoys is related to the type of sex she likes most
<supremo>chicks who dig giving oral like big cocks, chicks who like regular sex like medium cocks, and chicks who like anal prefer small cocks
<tupperware>so your girlfriend must be into nasal, huh supremo
<supremo>shut up dipshit
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Quote: 223887; Rating: 1332; [+|-]
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<+t4D> man. i think its time to bring the coffee maker into the bedroom
<+ScratXP> You may be moving too fast
<+ScratXP> take it to a movie first
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Quote: 223959; Rating: 329; [+|-]
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* Aryeh`AFK has quit IRC (Quit: [16:12] * ObnoxiousFrog reminds Aryeh that a girl on a gaming clan IRC chan is about as common as a unicorn that pisses gold and farts dreams)
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Quote: 224038; Rating: 339; [+|-]
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<gofer-chan> What's the difference between Bill Gate's wife and a computer?
<gofer-chan> A computer doesn't mind taking a 3 1/2 floppy.
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Quote: 224449; Rating: 496; [+|-]
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finacosa: yous gots to be KIDDIN yo
finacosa: you best be steppin yall dont want nunna this shit
Nerosan2k: shut you mizzle my fizzle
finacosa: awww now it's on
Nerosan2k: my footizzle will stomp all ova' yo' shizzle, bitchizzle
finacosa: im abouts to blockizzle yo ass
Nerosan2k: i will sizzle yo' shizzile at the big hizzle next monizzile
finacosa: ?
Nerosan2k: the big hizzle, you know, school-izzle
finacosa: hahaizzle
Nerosan2k: lolizzle
finacosa: its like pig latin for dumb people
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Quote: 224607; Rating: 802; [+|-]
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<smadge1> Guinness World Records was one site that did consider exactly what they were hosting on the web, and made necessary changes. The record for "Most Individuals Killed In A Terrorist Attack" is 2823 people accord to one page on Guinness' site. Guinness has a feature were you can apply to "Break this record",
and this option was placed on every page that contained a record.
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Quote: 224911; Rating: 669; [+|-]
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<spyforthemoon> It's a bad sign when you walk into a room with a high school senior girl talking about 'prom' and think "what's she doing with Programable Read Only Memory?"
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Quote: 225093; Rating: 99; [+|-]
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<stout> I think smokers invented lighters because smoking makes a person ugly, and they were tired of hearing the same joke all the time: smoker - "Hey, got a match?" non-smoker - "Yeah, your face and my butt."
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Quote: 225808; Rating: 214; [+|-]
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<stony> i'm sort of distracted at the moment]
<Skip> getting laid?
<stony> lol no
<Skip> then you have no excuse
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Quote: 225811; Rating: 975; [+|-]
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* ViVa changes topic to 'SELECT boobs FROM under_the_shirt WHERE gender = 'female' AND size > 'enough' AND leftsize = rightsize LIMIT 2;'
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Quote: 225813; Rating: 314; [+|-]
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< mf> LeeCHeSSS, i said it before and i'll say it again
< mf> you're too damn serious for the internet
< mf> go read bash.org or something
< mf> ;D
< floris> haha
<+LeeCHeSSS> I seriously dislike bash.org
<+LeeCHeSSS> And why you think I am too serious for the internet is beyond me.
< mf> LeeCHeSSS: you just answered your own question
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Quote: 225829; Rating: 230; [+|-]
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<The Monkey>: But my ex girlfriend's dad had one redeeming feature, his wallet
<The Monkey>: More capacious than an elephant's scrotum but just as difficult to get your hands on
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Quote: 225840; Rating: 584; [+|-]
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(SuperMarine): i swear to go
(SuperMarine): d
(SuperMarine): if that dog next door dosnt shut up
(SuperMarine): im going to do something bad
(AfroTrance): like complain over irc
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Quote: 225866; Rating: 202; [+|-]
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* ian wonders who was responsible for the "stuff that matters" part of the /. slogan ......
<l_oke> ian: I know one thing
<l_oke> ian: he's a pathological liar
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Quote: 226350; Rating: 1071; [+|-]
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<Cas> I used to enjoy going into Best Buy back in 95, do a search on them for *.exe, *.bat, *.com it always came up with a few thousand
<Cas> drag all of them to the startup folder
<StarManta> ROFL
<Cas> walk away and watch :)
<mystic_1> rofl
<Cas> act innocent
<Cas> always worked for me, they never suspected a girl would do that :)
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Quote: 226373; Rating: 185; [+|-]
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<Fawn> OMG
<Fawn> I just found out that my little brother has the hots for the same actress I have the hots for
<AccordionGuy> ACTRESS SANDWICH
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Quote: 226426; Rating: 284; [+|-]
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<Cthulhu> What the fuck is up with all the "roses are red" quotes on bash.org?
<Matt> They're cool, that's what...
<Cthulhu> Roses are red, violets are blue, SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU FUCKING JEW
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Quote: 226476; Rating: 212; [+|-]
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<gikmo> ill sell you my sister for a sausage roll and a beer...
<gikmo> would be more, but she's used.
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Quote: 226563; Rating: 1601; [+|-]
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< kate> wat r u doin ryt now
< Patrick`> Trying not to hunt you down and beat you into a pulp with a dictionary.
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Quote: 226722; Rating: 836; [+|-]
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seamus: Monday is President's Day.
seamus: What are YOU going to get YOUR president?
seamus: I'm going to get mine a dictionary and a Clifford the Big Red Dog book.
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Quote: 226987; Rating: 233; [+|-]
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<Jackryan2000guy> You know you've played too much soul caliber when you get the sudden urge in the middle of a calculus test to stand up, wave your fist and yell, "Souls! Come to me!"
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Quote: 227205; Rating: 465; [+|-]
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<JediDrunkenLlama> YES!
<JediDrunkenLlama> YES YES YES!
<JediDrunkenLlama> score one for the JDL.
<JediDrunkenLlama> I just convinced a telemarketer that I'm female.
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Quote: 227455; Rating: 1395; [+|-]
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<cheapo> haha, this screen appeared on my windows that said "time before shutdown: 60 seconds"
<cheapo> so i turned the windows clock 2 years backwards and now it says "time before shutdown: 729 days" :D:D
<cheapo> i just love windows :D
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Quote: 227562; Rating: 232; [+|-]
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< madsen> Lol, just found this in the /.-comments to the win2k source leak. "Real men don't do backups, they just pack their files into windows_2000_source_code.zip and post them to their website.... with torrent links..."
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Quote: 227780; Rating: 340; [+|-]
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<Saltank> I swear, John Kerry looks just like a 70 year old Max Payne.
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Quote: 227855; Rating: 755; [+|-]
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* MaianAlien goes to reformat other PC.
<Jerec> It's as if a million files suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced.
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Quote: 228076; Rating: 364; [+|-]
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<GiLtY2> oh god, this program is killing me
* crumpiano fights off program
* GiLtY2 has quit IRC (Ping timeout)
<crumpiano> i guess the program got him
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Quote: 228241; Rating: 749; [+|-]
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WALLOP shadow: $ my throat is killing me.. anyone got tips how to reduce the pain?
WALLOP shadow: $ no, it's not caused by swallowing semen
WALLOP shadow: $ I don't think swallowing semen would help either
WALLOP shadow: $ I see.. so honey + lemon + warm milk/water would help
WALLOP shadow: $ no, I'm not going to mix up any semen with that
WALLOP shadow: $ I wonder what whiskey + warm milk would taste like
WALLOP shadow: $ No, I don't think it would taste like semen
WALLOP shadow: $ FINE! I'll try the semen, so shut up already!
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Quote: 228303; Rating: 215; [+|-]
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<epoch--> crap, getting my license renewed while baked was a bad idea
<epoch--> every time they take my picture for it, i end up looking like a criminal.. this time i look like a stoned criminal
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Quote: 228441; Rating: 122; [+|-]
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Maelstrom III: i think valentines day is ddosing hallmark.com
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Quote: 228590; Rating: 959; [+|-]
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<ArnRim83> An issue of Nintendo Power I have, (Issue 16) calls Pilotwings "Flight Club". Another tentative title I guess
<anarchy99> YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT FLIGHT CLUB
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Quote: 228627; Rating: 1148; [+|-]
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<Redbeard> I declared my undying love to someone.
<Redbeard> I told her that my love is like the skeleton turtles in Mario.
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Quote: 228636; Rating: 677; [+|-]
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O100111001101111: IRC = comedy Gold
Art of Tanz: did you discover bash?
O100111001101111: negative
O100111001101111: i discovered #Catholic
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Quote: 228701; Rating: 1212; [+|-]
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<`Riku> The new Britney Spears music video is like a softcore porn video
<`Riku> except the music ain't quite as good.
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Quote: 229041; Rating: 156; [+|-]
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<Gin> Cocaine is white
<Gin> Marijuana is green
<Gin> So won't you please be
<Gin> My drug lord queen
<Gin> HAPPY VALENTINES DAY
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Quote: 229070; Rating: 6587; [+|-]
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<pihlopase> Jesus Saves
<jbroome> pases to moses, SCOOOOORE
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Quote: 229321; Rating: 893; [+|-]
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<@amoeba> hey, what's the keyboard shortcut to discard the current buffer in emacs?
<@thatguy> do you have 12 fingers
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Quote: 229508; Rating: 54; [+|-]
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<ravuya> LIBERAL SOCIALIST MOTHERFUCKER PENGUINS ARE GOING TO EAT MY CAPITALISM
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Quote: 229713; Rating: -11; [+|-]
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<VeryMuchS> I have been looking for some fucking old school Are You Afraid Of The Dark
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Quote: 229863; Rating: 499; [+|-]
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* krazy ([email protected]) Quit (Quit: A good discussion is like a miniskirt; Short enough to pertain interest and long enough to cover the subject.)
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Quote: 229921; Rating: 447; [+|-]
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<warezfrea> can any1 tell me where I can download GTA Vice city?
<@Conz> buy it, rip it, put up your own ftp, download it
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Quote: 230283; Rating: 485; [+|-]
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<+______Ric> I wonder what would cause a sixteen year old girl to think she could run me.
<+dami> a vagina
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Quote: 230424; Rating: 1145; [+|-]
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<Gerard> Damn bitch fuck damn.
<Tom> PG-13 Gerard
<Gerard> Dang gosh golly dang
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Quote: 230432; Rating: 161; [+|-]
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<Kormiic> I think you should reverse one of the letters in your band logo, then you can have an official thumb in the nu-metal market.
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Quote: 230562; Rating: 1171; [+|-]
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(Omorpheus) I think rappers are the noobs of the music world "OMGZ YO I R GANGSTER"
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Quote: 230727; Rating: 563; [+|-]
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[@cwatford] i really do need to write my childrens books
[@cwatford] i plan on scaring children shitless about common programming errors
[@Entrope] "jane thought overrunning buffers was great fun until the exploit monster bit off her head!"
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