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Quote: 228241; Rating: 787; [+|-]
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WALLOP shadow:u00a0 $ my throat is killing me.. anyone got tips how to reduce the pain?
WALLOP shadow:u00a0 $ no, it's not caused by swallowing semen
WALLOP shadow:u00a0 $ I don't think swallowing semen would help either
WALLOP shadow:u00a0 $ I see.. so honey + lemon + warm milk/water would help
WALLOP shadow:u00a0 $ no, I'm not going to mix up any semen with that
WALLOP shadow:u00a0 $ I wonder what whiskey + warm milk would taste like
WALLOP shadow:u00a0 $ No, I don't think it would taste like semen
WALLOP shadow:u00a0 $ FINE! I'll try the semen, so shut up already! |
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Quote: 228303; Rating: 242; [+|-]
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<epoch--> crap, getting my license renewed while baked was a bad idea
<epoch--> every time they take my picture for it, i end up looking like a criminal.. this time i look like a stoned criminal |
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Quote: 228441; Rating: 160; [+|-]
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Maelstrom III: i think valentines day is ddosing hallmark.com |
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Quote: 228552; Rating: 495; [+|-]
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<Typhlosion> In Spanish channels, do they use !listu00a1 ? |
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Quote: 228590; Rating: 984; [+|-]
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<ArnRim83> An issue of Nintendo Power I have, (Issue 16) calls Pilotwings "Flight Club". Another tentative title I guess
<anarchy99> YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT FLIGHT CLUB |
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Quote: 228627; Rating: 1168; [+|-]
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<Redbeard> I declared my undying love to someone.
<Redbeard> I told her that my love is like the skeleton turtles in Mario. |
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Quote: 228636; Rating: 668; [+|-]
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O100111001101111: IRC = comedy Gold
Art of Tanz: did you discover bash?
O100111001101111: negative
O100111001101111: i discovered #Catholic |
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Quote: 228701; Rating: 1248; [+|-]
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<`Riku> The new Britney Spears music video is like a softcore porn video
<`Riku> except the music ain't quite as good. |
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Quote: 229041; Rating: 156; [+|-]
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<Gin> Cocaine is white
<Gin> Marijuana is green
<Gin> So won't you please be
<Gin> My drug lord queen
<Gin> HAPPY VALENTINES DAY |
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Quote: 229070; Rating: 6844; [+|-]
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<pihlopase> Jesus Saves
<jbroome> pases to moses, SCOOOOORE |
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Quote: 229321; Rating: 919; [+|-]
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<@amoeba> hey, what's the keyboard shortcut to discard the current buffer in emacs?
<@thatguy> do you have 12 fingers |
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Quote: 229508; Rating: 93; [+|-]
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<ravuya> LIBERAL SOCIALIST MOTHERFUCKER PENGUINS ARE GOING TO EAT MY CAPITALISM |
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Quote: 229713; Rating: 32; [+|-]
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<VeryMuchS> I have been looking for some fucking old school Are You Afraid Of The Dark |
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Quote: 229863; Rating: 550; [+|-]
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* krazy ([email protected]) Quit (Quit: A good discussion is like a miniskirt; Short enough to pertain interest and long enough to cover the subject.) |
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Quote: 229921; Rating: 475; [+|-]
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<warezfrea> can any1 tell me where I can download GTA Vice city?
<@Conz> buy it, rip it, put up your own ftp, download it |
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Quote: 230283; Rating: 521; [+|-]
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<+______Ric> I wonder what would cause a sixteen year old girl to think she could run me.
<+dami> a vagina |
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Quote: 230407; Rating: -960; [+|-]
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[+Makura] did you hear about the Chinese couple that had
[+Makura] > a retarded baby?
[+Makura] They named him Sum Ting Wong
u0095 SeeDee shakes his head
[+TomHung] so a guy walks into a bar with a monkey
[+TomHung] i forget the rest of the joke, but your mom's a whore |
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Quote: 230424; Rating: 1172; [+|-]
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<Gerard> Damn bitch fuck damn.
<Tom> PG-13 Gerard
<Gerard> Dang gosh golly dang |
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Quote: 230432; Rating: 181; [+|-]
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<Kormiic> I think you should reverse one of the letters in your band logo, then you can have an official thumb in the nu-metal market. |
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Quote: 230562; Rating: 1173; [+|-]
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(Omorpheus) I think rappers are the noobs of the music world "OMGZ YO I R GANGSTER" |
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Quote: 230727; Rating: 577; [+|-]
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[@cwatford] i really do need to write my childrens books
[@cwatford] i plan on scaring children shitless about common programming errors
[@Entrope] "jane thought overrunning buffers was great fun until the exploit monster bit off her head!" |
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Quote: 230775; Rating: 45; [+|-]
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<myr> grep me! oh grep me baby!
<myr> run your shells! keep my daemons happy!
<myr> you turn my kernel inside out!
<myr> time to put on the red hat!
<myr> is that a penguin i see sticking out of your pants hun?
<myr> linux geeks having sex |
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Quote: 230794; Rating: 710; [+|-]
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<Foobar> i had to deliver something to a business downtown that was next door to EMI Music Canada
<Foobar> i was very tempted to walk in the front lobby, scream "I DOWNLOAD MP3S, BITCHES" and run out |
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Quote: 230936; Rating: 2313; [+|-]
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<Nubbers> Is there any listing of the criteria for a bash quote, anyway? Or should I just make a joke combining masturbation, child pornography, racism, and dungeons and dragons...
<Edible> If it has "bash.org" or "nigger" in it, it'll get in.u00a0 Watch.
<Edible> Hey, so nigger I nigger with nigger to nigger bash.org nigger bash.org bash.org nigger nigger nigger. |
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Quote: 230953; Rating: 863; [+|-]
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<Ged> uh, my big brother has got some girl in his room.. they sound really nasty
<Ged> and her name doesn't end in .jpg
<G0rk> .avi then?
<Ged> indeed, if I can just find my video-cam |
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Quote: 231033; Rating: 230; [+|-]
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[hehohno] I really swear rev is a music columnist.
[hehohno] You have that bitter, "radiohead is ok, if you like rehashed pink floyd tracks" feel about you. |
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Quote: 231076; Rating: 271; [+|-]
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<DarkOne> This nightvision effect simply looks as if someone replaced your monitor with a bowl of lime sherbert. |
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Quote: 231143; Rating: 222; [+|-]
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Geezer_The_Douche: I want a customised Nintendo Powerglove that shoots cancer at people. |
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Quote: 231149; Rating: 376; [+|-]
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<TCbot>
<TCbot> Q: Dictionaryu00a0Definitions:u00a0Overlyu00a0dramatic?
<TCbot>
<altariel> female |
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Quote: 231177; Rating: 10; [+|-]
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<atarax> black people were invented by the government to get rid of the crack |
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Quote: 231223; Rating: 1259; [+|-]
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<lude> Short summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat. |
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Quote: 231237; Rating: 1733; [+|-]
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<wasted> fuck
<wasted> lol
<wasted> apperantly transparancy can go 100%
<wasted> invisible
<wasted> i have a window somewhere. in my screen.
<wasted> god knows where ;
<sc0tt> LOL |
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Quote: 231241; Rating: 358; [+|-]
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<+Allahkat> Or say that you heard a rumour about some gays having the female reproductive organs taken out of their dyke friends, and insterted into their ass, so they CAN reproduce.
<+Allahkat> Or something as stupid as that.
<+Allahkat> See how many fall for it.
<@asshat> thats genius
<@asshat> imagine having a uterus in your ass
<@asshat> you could totally poop a kid out
<@bunnieWork> shit a kid.
<@bunnieWork> a shitday instead of a birthday.
<@asshat> then you have the right to call them little shits |
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Quote: 231477; Rating: 482; [+|-]
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<Gloomster> I'm not white
<Gloomster> I'm rhythmically challenged |
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Quote: 231527; Rating: 389; [+|-]
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<Chibi-Trekkie> at school, some guy was like
<Chibi-Trekkie> are you going to prom?
<Chibi-Trekkie> and another guy was like PRON!? WHERE |
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Quote: 231529; Rating: 218; [+|-]
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<QuantumKat> Whitehouse Communications Director Dan Bartlett has admitted that 'applause lines' were written into the President's State of the Union Address of 2004. He went on to say some of the applause was genuine.
<QuantumKat> everybody clap now
<mash|dead> ...
<mikedude> <applause sign lights up> |
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Quote: 231741; Rating: 1442; [+|-]
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<@Sprache> what do you guys know about the company that makes RealPlayer?
<@KtuLi> I'd tell you, but the information is still buffering |
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Quote: 232020; Rating: 382; [+|-]
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<b1u3> good...admitting your stupidity is the first step to disguising it as charming immaturity. |
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Quote: 232034; Rating: 220; [+|-]
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<Kyote> What the fuck would a British version of Fight Club be? Two really pale guys calling each other wankers and throwing teabags around? |
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Quote: 232127; Rating: 592; [+|-]
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<joeman> Rosa Parks is my idol.
<joeman> I, too, refuse to get up out of my seat. |
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Quote: 232298; Rating: 870; [+|-]
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<Bazz> Every day you give me food, and yet I dont eat. I always stand on four legs. What am I?
<Costilled> Calista Flockhart |
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Quote: 232554; Rating: 601; [+|-]
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<Tempest> Has anyone seen Passion of the Christ?
<Yuki> I heard the guy playing Jesus was struck by lighting twice while working on the set.
<Mister Mittens> I've heard that as well... And I think someone else on the set was hit by lightning as well... not sure
<Quinton> GOOD MOVIE
<Teal> They weren't hit by lightning. They were smote. There's a difference. |
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Quote: 233166; Rating: 720; [+|-]
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<[-will-]> damnit
<[-will-]> I cant find my video card
<Excors> Overclock it, then look for the source of the smoke |
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Quote: 233274; Rating: 699; [+|-]
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<~DuDE~> My sister was driving home today
<~DuDE~> Somebody comited suicide by jumping of a bridge onto the motorway
<~DuDE~> And landed on my sister's bonnet!
<Barnes> Jesus christ that's terrible!
<Barnes> She'll lose her no claims discount on her insurance! |
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Quote: 233282; Rating: 1724; [+|-]
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<David> Finally. It works. My Palm is working.
<schnorks> Now you can hold stuff |
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Quote: 233284; Rating: 384; [+|-]
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<LukeIsTerrified> R. Kelly says: "Osama bin Laden is the only one who knows exactly what I'm going through."
<LukeIsTerrified> I love it.
<Brave-o> He believes he can fly.
<Brave-o> Into buildings. |
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Quote: 233293; Rating: 1060; [+|-]
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<@Dogpile> 88. Who recorded "Join Together" in 1972?
<Tback> like who knows these
<@Dogpile> Tback got the answer: the who. In: 2.43 secs. Streak: 1. Current wins 23! |
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Quote: 233331; Rating: 1214; [+|-]
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<jamesd> "... being a Linux user is sort of like living in a house inhabited by a large family of carpenters and architects. Every morning when you wake up, the house is a little different. Maybe there is a new turret, or some walls have moved. Or perhaps someone has temporarily removed the floor under your bed."
* kop_ ([email protected]) has joined #solaris
<sheenmaster> jamesd: being an OpenServer or UNIXWare user is like living in a house that hasn't been touched by a carpenter or inspected by an architect in years.u00a0 Every morning when you wake up, the neighbor's house is a little better.u00a0 You are justing thankful that the floor hasn't fallen out from beneath your bed, cause you know it'll be half a decade before its fixed.
* RainbowW has quit (Read error: 54 (Connection reset by peer))
<sheenmaster> jamesd: being a Windows user is like living is a cheap vegas hotel.u00a0 Every morning, you wake up with a new disease.u00a0 The floor beneath your bed is likely to fall through at any time, but at least you can burn the hotel down and rebuild it or move to another room.
<jamesd> "Memory is like gasoline. You use it up when you are running. Of course you get it all back when you reboot..."
<jamesd>u00a0 -- Actual explanation obtained from the Micro$oft help desk.
<sheenmaster> haha
<sheenmaster> Damn Microsoft for coming up with better jokes than we do! |
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Quote: 233448; Rating: 1262; [+|-]
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<Rendrag> just remember your car actually has to stop at stop signs
<Rendrag> my driving teacher only told me my wheels must stop rotating
<Rendrag> i took her at her word
<Rendrag> and slid it round the corner onto the main street at 60 with all four wheels locked up
<LDM> hahahahahaha, Nice one.
<Rendrag> needless to say i had to sit my test a second time : |
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Quote: 233535; Rating: 691; [+|-]
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<mrsnazz> I'm a phreaker, you know what I mean, and I flip the little switch on the red box
<mrsnazz> on the redbox, on the redbox yea
<mrsnazz> I'm to elite for my shirt, to elite for my shirt, so elite it hurts
<nickr> on the pay phone, on the payphone
<mrsnazz> yea
<mrsnazz> i play my little tone to the payphone |
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