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Quote: 219566; Rating: 230; [+|-]
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(@Josh) do you know where your children are
(~cypher) in the bottom of the sock on the floor
(@equin0x) ..
(@Josh) for your mother to find?
! @Josh thinks his mom caught him a few times
(~cypher) its not going to clean itself :S
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Quote: 219577; Rating: 1656; [+|-]
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<Ich> Why are you hosting on port 666?
<Texasdex> just for the hell of it
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Quote: 219647; Rating: 876; [+|-]
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<Bushido> But I suppose a goth chick at KFC would be just as funny.
<Scarab> "Is your crispy chicken as crisp as dead leaves swaying from the gallows of skeletal wooden claws hewn from their withered arms by jagged-fanged steel?" "Nah, but it's pretty damn crunchy." "I accept."
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Quote: 219686; Rating: 479; [+|-]
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<harlequin> shut the fuck up
<harlequin> all of you make me fucking sick
<JewBagel> Im sorry
<harlequin> what has irc become
<JewBagel> ...I like bacon if that helps at all.
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Quote: 219761; Rating: 399; [+|-]
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<Tremolo> They tried to shove Christianity down my throat
<Zenith> That's not where you're supposed to *shove* Christianity! Look at the priests! They know what they're doing.
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Quote: 220697; Rating: 314; [+|-]
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<Drewtetz> new internet pickup line! "Girl, you're so hot your file extension should be .fap!"
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Quote: 220832; Rating: 635; [+|-]
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<deophite> HOLLAND, Michigan (AP) -- Tacking Jr. or II onto a boy's name is too common, a new father decided, so the self-described engineering geek took a software approach to naming his newborn son.
<deophite> Jon Blake Cusack talked his wife, Jamie, into naming their son Jon Blake Cusack 2.0.
<Yale> nice ;x
<Craisin> haha
<Craisin> when he learns to walk, 2.1
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Quote: 220843; Rating: 872; [+|-]
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<epictetus> is <3 supposed to be a heart or an ass hat?
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Quote: 220904; Rating: 277; [+|-]
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<NW>: The NHL has the Stanley Cup, the MLB has the World Series, and the NFL has the Super Bowl.
<NW> I'm not sure what the NBA has...
**Reno sips vodkety.
<[Drum]>: The Championship.
<Ran[afk]>: The Rape Accusation Trial.
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Quote: 220940; Rating: 296; [+|-]
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<notlewdminx> Jesus would be so much cooler if he hatched from an egg
<coke-> haha
<notlewdminx> Immaculate conception? BIG DEAL
<notlewdminx> Eggboy? AWESOME
<coke-> THEY POKED A HOLE IN THE JESUS EGG
<notlewdminx> You could paint it
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Quote: 220983; Rating: 1087; [+|-]
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<Joe> so if somebody said "I did your momma" what would you say?
<Eric> Daddy?
<Joe> okay, you got me there, that was a good one
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Quote: 220997; Rating: 1085; [+|-]
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<ISO_Girl> i need to trim my hair
<Anarchy_Creator> meh short hair on a woman = no
<Anarchy_Creator> i think shoulder length is good
<ISO_Girl> wrong hair buddy
<Anarchy_Creator> ...
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Quote: 221002; Rating: 225; [+|-]
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<TKD-Azmodeux> I'm embezzling all the clan funds into jerkin's hand lotion.
<TKD-Strider> Why do you need that?
<TKD-Azmodeux> ...Yes...why indeed...
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Quote: 221090; Rating: 492; [+|-]
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<Fig_leaf> i saw this black kid the other day
<Fig_leaf> he was wearing a jersey type shirt with 'DMX - Ruff Riderz' on it.
<Fig_leaf> i asked what 'DMX' has to do with Teddy Roosevelt?
<Fig_leaf> and he hit me
<Fig_leaf> >:(
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Quote: 221121; Rating: 494; [+|-]
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* sty is now listening to Frankie Goes to Hollywood - Two Tribes
* Bluey is now listening to The Printer - Churning Out Pages.
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Quote: 221128; Rating: 1168; [+|-]
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<Rhodz> bah
<Rhodz> so sick of this superbowl crap
<Rhodz> they just cater to the lowest common denominator
<Rhodz> I half expect next year's superbowl to be a reality home improvement show where the two teams have to build the stadium and when they're done get voted off their teams one by one until the last two have to compete in a singing contest judges by that simon guy from american idol, and the winner wins the
superbowl alone, and gets a free makeover from the queer eye dudes and then a week later finds out he was "punk'd" and he didnt really win anything
<Rhodz> ..
<Rhodz> wait...that sounds like an awesome show
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Quote: 221306; Rating: 1431; [+|-]
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<zorba> man tesla was a cool guy
<zorba> he basically transmitted power over 30 feet without the use of wires
<arpit> i can do it too :P
* arpit throws a battery
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Quote: 221314; Rating: 244; [+|-]
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<res0> LapCat says elizabeth hurley has DSLs
<mattt> broadband?
<res0> dick sucking lips
<res0> she does have some nice lips, but reducing such an astoundingly attractive woman to a sexual object that any street slut could embody is something i'd never do.
<jotun> yeah, that's my job!
<res0> sucking dick?
<jotun> :<
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Quote: 221321; Rating: 491; [+|-]
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<kaleido:#cisco> Blaxthos: i emailed that url to the netops at etrade
<Blaxthos> HEY I'M LOOKING AT PORN OVER HERE
<kaleido> classic moment
<Blaxthos> hahahaha
<kaleido> Blaxthos: i emailed that url to the netops at etrade
<kaleido> 20 cubes all shouting out, "HEY EVERYBOSY, IM LOOKING AT GAY PORN!"
<kaleido> followed by 20 guys all in my cube ready to beat me
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Quote: 221342; Rating: 177; [+|-]
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<Necro^Partehh4t> if someone insults canada the best thing u can say is
<Necro^Partehh4t> atleast im not french-canadian :.
<[HI]Widget> lol
<Bob_the_cannibal> what if you're french-canadian?
<Necro^Partehh4t> then you suck
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Quote: 221367; Rating: 1173; [+|-]
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<PasteyGamer> So, what class of character would you like to be?
<Malt_Liqa> Possibly a theif.
<PasteyGamer> Um, alright. There are many forms of that class like, rogue, assassin...
<Malt_Liqa> I'll be an assassin!
<PasteyGamer> Are you sure, there are some downsides.
<Malt_Liqa> Are you fucking kidding?! It has ass in it! TWICE!
<PasteyGamer> Why the fuck haven't I killed you yet?
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Quote: 221380; Rating: 89; [+|-]
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<Wingzy> crud, you should come to windsor some day
<crudmonky> Wingzy: i would, but i have recurring nightmares that i might find myself stuck in canada
<crudmonky> and a sole frenchman armed with just a white flag would invade and win
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Quote: 221418; Rating: 47; [+|-]
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<sh1bby> man..top 5 inventions by black people...whats up with that
<sh1bby> what about the white people's inventions??
<s3llout> uh..slaves
<s3llout> pwned
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Quote: 221449; Rating: 235; [+|-]
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<Space-Monkey|ftw> my hand is stuck in my pc case
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Quote: 221580; Rating: 646; [+|-]
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<Queued> It must be late -- "perl5" is looking like "penis"
<Boinger69> Stay up until "VB" looks like "a good idea"
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Quote: 221661; Rating: 660; [+|-]
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<RazielHex> Whaddya do if you see a friend's picture in a porn site?
<Yamatto> you link us for a start.
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Quote: 221671; Rating: 190; [+|-]
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<Nathicana> invasion, penetration, domination ... tis all related.
<Sirithil> Yes, my militarism is just all Freudian expression...
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Quote: 221818; Rating: 211; [+|-]
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(@Furrikain) quickly, put your head to my anus!
(@Furrikain) you can hear the sea =D
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Quote: 221849; Rating: 103; [+|-]
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<Moses> I'm a Pepsi man, myself
<Zorbo> eww
<Zorbo> pepsi is like the mac of the soft drink world
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Quote: 221855; Rating: 510; [+|-]
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<mindy>why are men so insecure about how long their penises are?
<topbottom>it's not that we're insecure, it's just something we like to keep track of, like our shoe size
<topbottom>men need to know this so that when a chick asks us how long our cock is, we know what to multiply by 1.5
<mikeyL>yeah, so i'd say 6 inches
<mikeyL>wait
<mikeyL>fuck
<topbottom>lol
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Quote: 221937; Rating: 583; [+|-]
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<jdm> i just accidently urinated on my face
<@Static> did you take a picture?
<jdm> no
<jdm> let go of my wang to catch the toilet seat, it began to fall
<jdm> pissed all over the back of the toilet then it swung up and hit me in the face like a fire hose
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Quote: 221989; Rating: 203; [+|-]
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<turkey> my friend saw r kelly's purple escalade with lamberghini doors, and spinners
<HongKongPhooey> did he see the 3 11 year olds inside?
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Quote: 222068; Rating: 705; [+|-]
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<ilifin> Crazy idea.
<ilifin> Keanu Reeves as Sauron
<ilifin> Hugo Weaving as Isildur
<ilifin> Keanu: How about I give you the finger.. and you give me back my ring.
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Quote: 222278; Rating: 605; [+|-]
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<Biitchboy> even tho i really like the title of my book
<kibet> which is?
<Donald> "This Book Is Hollow And Contains A Bottle Of Gin"
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Quote: 222281; Rating: 319; [+|-]
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<nyar> ok time to go to work
<simpleton> work?
<simpleton> oh shit
* simpleton &
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Quote: 222290; Rating: 166; [+|-]
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<oz> i wonder if i can get a gentoo as a pet
<oz> they are so cute
<ph1zzle> man, that is cute
<ph1zzle> I wonder what they taste like
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Quote: 222295; Rating: 315; [+|-]
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<Budgie> Opencanvas is a free-for-30-days-and-then-it-breaks program for windows.
<Budgie> unless you pay :(
<RabbitGod> well I think I'll stick to my photoshop 7 with the kazza lite discount
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Quote: 222311; Rating: 272; [+|-]
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<visi-work> what's the hairy stuff in the cat5 cable for?
<BrassMonk> insulation?
<rm> its fur.
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Quote: 222325; Rating: 1032; [+|-]
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<+KrazyKid> is there anything more American than a McDonalds IN a Wal-Mart?
<+JitSpout> little cesars in a kmart
< Overand> KrazyKid: how about someone stealing from the cash register in the mcdonalds in the wal-mark
< Overand> how about snorting coke in the bathroom of the mcdonalds in the walmart
<+awed> haha
< pvah731> hahah
<+KrazyKid> Overand: hmmm.
<+JitSpout> how about snorting coke off a hookers ass in the bathroom of the mcdonalds in the walmart?
< Overand> heh
<+JitSpout> a DEAD hookers ass
<+awed> dead from snorting too much coke off the last hooker's ass
<+JitSpout> with her head in the toilet, getting swirlied
<+awed> CHOCOLATE swirlied
<+JitSpout> ohh baby
< pvah731> how about someone on welfare with 3 kids that wieghs 300 pounds and is wearing a nascar shirt in mcdonalds in a walmart saying "fuck them sand niggers"
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Quote: 222389; Rating: 1596; [+|-]
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<AcidGame> Shit!
<legozrule> What?
<AcidGame> I downloaded an xbox emulator, and when I tried playing a game, it locked up, so I decided to end it.
<legozrule> Then what?
<AcidGame> I accidently clicked 'send error report to microsoft' >_<
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Quote: 222409; Rating: 136; [+|-]
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<VTSquire> stileproject has fucked up my sex life
<ashp> VTSquire can't get hard without pissing in his girlfriends face :(
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Quote: 222411; Rating: 538; [+|-]
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<WilBeDed> Anyone Alive?
<WooShell> no. i am sorry. everyone's dead at the moment. please leave a requiem after the tone.
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Quote: 222456; Rating: 481; [+|-]
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<ClownyMo> Where do you send Jewish kids with ADD?
<Gino> I don't even wanna know this one....
<ClownyMo> Concentration camps!!!
<Gino> Oh how rite i was
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Quote: 222461; Rating: 524; [+|-]
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<PaNTs0r> people who cut themselves
<PaNTs0r> honest to god
<PaNTs0r> what is the point
<PaNTs0r> "oh god i'm so depressed *cut* OOWWWWWW!!!! NOW I'M DEPRESSED AND IN PAIN!!!!!"
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Quote: 222502; Rating: 411; [+|-]
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<BlaZe--> hwo do i produce logs?
<+zrv3tt3|> go to the bathroom
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Quote: 222549; Rating: 1057; [+|-]
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<+commodore_dude> anyone wanna make me a magic 8-ball in java?
<+x24> ask again later
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Quote: 222555; Rating: 606; [+|-]
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<Blake`> Buffalo wants to draw in the film industry.
<Blake`> What the fuck are they gonna film there?
<`Edwin`> Fargo, part 2?
<Blake`> "The Adventures of Nanook the Eskimo"?
<`Edwin`> Call of the Wild?
<Blake`> "Dude, Where's My Economy?"
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Quote: 222596; Rating: 773; [+|-]
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<Keitaro> I think I know where Michael Jackson got the idea to hang his kid over the balcony.
<Keitaro> Lion King.
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Quote: 222662; Rating: 442; [+|-]
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<RLTim> Procrastination is like masturbation; you're only fucking yourself
<Cheshire> Yeah but if procrastination and masturbation were paying jobs, IRC would be full of fucking millionaires.
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Quote: 222680; Rating: 2329; [+|-]
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<Cheshire> I can't afford those plastic things to cover the electric sockets so I just draw bunny faces on the electric outlets to scare the kids away from them...
<RLtim> Newsflash! Kids aren't afraid of bunnies.
<Cheshire> Oh they will be...
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