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Quote: 222068; Rating: 744; [+|-]
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<ilifin> Crazy idea.
<ilifin> Keanu Reeves as Sauron
<ilifin> Hugo Weaving as Isildur
<ilifin> Keanu: How about I give you the finger.. and you give me back my ring. |
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Quote: 222278; Rating: 620; [+|-]
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<Biitchboy> even tho i really like the title of my book
<kibet> which is?
<Donald> "This Book Is Hollow And Contains A Bottle Of Gin" |
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Quote: 222281; Rating: 348; [+|-]
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<nyar> ok time to go to work
<simpleton> work?
<simpleton> oh shit
* simpleton & |
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Quote: 222290; Rating: 172; [+|-]
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<oz> i wonder if i can get a gentoo as a pet
<oz> they are so cute
<ph1zzle> man, that is cute
<ph1zzle> I wonder what they taste like |
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Quote: 222295; Rating: 327; [+|-]
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<Budgie> Opencanvas is a free-for-30-days-and-then-it-breaks program for windows.
<Budgie> unless you pay :(
<RabbitGod> well I think I'll stick to my photoshop 7 with the kazza lite discount |
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Quote: 222311; Rating: 278; [+|-]
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<visi-work> what's the hairy stuff in the cat5 cable for?
<BrassMonk> insulation?
<rm> its fur. |
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Quote: 222325; Rating: 1129; [+|-]
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<+KrazyKid> is there anything more American than a McDonalds IN a Wal-Mart?
<+JitSpout> little cesars in a kmart
< Overand> KrazyKid: how about someone stealing from the cash register in the mcdonalds in the wal-mark
< Overand> how about snorting coke in the bathroom of the mcdonalds in the walmart
<+awed> haha
< pvah731> hahah
<+KrazyKid> Overand: hmmm.
<+JitSpout> how about snorting coke off a hookers ass in the bathroom of the mcdonalds in the walmart?
< Overand> heh
<+JitSpout> a DEAD hookers ass
<+awed> dead from snorting too much coke off the last hooker's ass
<+JitSpout> with her head in the toilet, getting swirlied
<+awed> CHOCOLATE swirlied
<+JitSpout> ohh baby
< pvah731> how about someone on welfare with 3 kids that wieghs 300 pounds and is wearing a nascar shirt in mcdonalds in a walmart saying "fuck them sand niggers" |
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Quote: 222389; Rating: 1615; [+|-]
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<AcidGame> Shit!
<legozrule> What?
<AcidGame> I downloaded an xbox emulator, and when I tried playing a game, it locked up, so I decided to end it.
<legozrule> Then what?
<AcidGame> I accidently clicked 'send error report to microsoft' >_< |
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Quote: 222409; Rating: 170; [+|-]
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<VTSquire> stileproject has fucked up my sex life
<ashp> VTSquire can't get hard without pissing in his girlfriends face :( |
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Quote: 222411; Rating: 569; [+|-]
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<WilBeDed> Anyone Alive?
<WooShell> no. i am sorry. everyone's dead at the moment. please leave a requiem after the tone. |
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Quote: 222456; Rating: 475; [+|-]
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<ClownyMo> Where do you send Jewish kids with ADD?
<Gino> I don't even wanna know this one....
<ClownyMo> Concentration camps!!!
<Gino> Oh how rite i was |
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Quote: 222461; Rating: 549; [+|-]
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<PaNTs0r> people who cut themselves
<PaNTs0r> honest to god
<PaNTs0r> what is the point
<PaNTs0r> "oh god i'm so depressed *cut* OOWWWWWW!!!! NOW I'M DEPRESSED AND IN PAIN!!!!!" |
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Quote: 222502; Rating: 447; [+|-]
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<BlaZe--> hwo do i produce logs?
<+zrv3tt3|> go to the bathroom |
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Quote: 222549; Rating: 1075; [+|-]
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<+commodore_dude> anyone wanna make me a magic 8-ball in java?
<+x24> ask again later |
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Quote: 222555; Rating: 607; [+|-]
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<Blake`> Buffalo wants to draw in the film industry.
<Blake`> What the fuck are they gonna film there?
<`Edwin`> Fargo, part 2?
<Blake`> "The Adventures of Nanook the Eskimo"?
<`Edwin`> Call of the Wild?
<Blake`> "Dude, Where's My Economy?" |
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Quote: 222596; Rating: 801; [+|-]
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<Keitaro> I think I know where Michael Jackson got the idea to hang his kid over the balcony.
<Keitaro> Lion King. |
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Quote: 222662; Rating: 450; [+|-]
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<RLTim> Procrastination is like masturbation; you're only fucking yourself
<Cheshire> Yeah but if procrastination and masturbation were paying jobs, IRC would be full of fucking millionaires. |
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Quote: 222680; Rating: 2353; [+|-]
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<Cheshire> I can't afford those plastic things to cover the electric sockets so I just draw bunny faces on the electric outlets to scare the kids away from them...
<RLtim> Newsflash! Kids aren't afraid of bunnies.
<Cheshire> Oh they will be... |
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Quote: 222744; Rating: 348; [+|-]
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<kats`awake> sometimes when i masturbate i look up at my hand and say gg |
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Quote: 222940; Rating: 893; [+|-]
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<+Ralan> atkins works not because its a good diet, because people who are on it burn so much energy because they can't shut the fuck up about being on atkins |
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Quote: 222987; Rating: 988; [+|-]
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<Jadd-Away> MONROE - An employee at the Wal-Mart store off North Telegraph Road died in Mercy Memorial Hospital here yesterday after he was found lying on the storeu0092s floor with head trauma, Monroe County sheriffu0092s deputies said.
<Jadd-Away> victim of falling prices? |
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Quote: 223120; Rating: 810; [+|-]
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BornDead: my dick says straight but it doesnt mean i love the pussy!
BornDead: wait..
BornDead: no
BornDead: other way around
BornDead: OTHER WAY
G13LinK: . . .
G13LinK: I wish there were some tool to measure the amount of respect I lose in you every time you say something... |
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Quote: 223408; Rating: 557; [+|-]
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(@WrmSlayer] wow
(@WrmSlayer] american scientists are spending millions of dollars learning to grow monkey sperm inside mice...
(+smilertoo] have they said WHY?
(@WrmSlayer] new product line for mcdonalds |
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Quote: 223524; Rating: 1230; [+|-]
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<supremo>hey, i heard somewhere that the size of the cock a woman enjoys is related to the type of sex she likes most
<supremo>chicks who dig giving oral like big cocks, chicks who like regular sex like medium cocks, and chicks who like anal prefer small cocks
<tupperware>so your girlfriend must be into nasal, huh supremo
<supremo>shut up dipshit |
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Quote: 223887; Rating: 1377; [+|-]
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<+t4D> man. i think its time to bring the coffee maker into the bedroom
<+ScratXP> You may be moving toou00a0 fast
<+ScratXP> take it to a movie first |
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Quote: 223959; Rating: 370; [+|-]
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* Aryeh`AFK has quit IRC (Quit: [16:12] * ObnoxiousFrog reminds Aryeh that a girl on a gaming clan IRC chan is about as common as a unicorn that pisses gold and farts dreams) |
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Quote: 224038; Rating: 369; [+|-]
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<gofer-chan> What's the difference between Bill Gate's wife and a computer?
<gofer-chan> A computer doesn't mind taking a 3 1/2 floppy. |
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Quote: 224449; Rating: 506; [+|-]
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finacosa: yous gots to be KIDDIN yo
finacosa: you best be steppin yall dont want nunna this shit
Nerosan2k: shut you mizzle my fizzle
finacosa: awww now it's on
Nerosan2k: my footizzle will stomp all ova' yo' shizzle, bitchizzle
finacosa: im abouts to blockizzle yo ass
Nerosan2k: i will sizzle yo' shizzile at the big hizzle next monizzile
finacosa: ?
Nerosan2k: the big hizzle, you know, school-izzle
finacosa: hahaizzle
Nerosan2k: lolizzle
finacosa: its like pig latin for dumb people |
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Quote: 224607; Rating: 848; [+|-]
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<smadge1> Guinness World Records was one site that did consider exactly what they were hosting on the web, and made necessary changes. The record for "Most Individuals Killed In A Terrorist Attack" is 2823 people accord to one page on Guinness' site. Guinness has a feature were you can apply to "Break this record", and this option was placed on every page that contained a record. |
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Quote: 224911; Rating: 709; [+|-]
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<spyforthemoon> It's a bad sign when you walk into a room with a high school senior girl talking about 'prom' and think "what's she doing with Programable Read Only Memory?" |
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Quote: 225093; Rating: 139; [+|-]
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<stout> I think smokers invented lighters because smoking makes a person ugly, and they were tired of hearing the same joke all the time:u00a0 smoker - "Hey, got a match?"u00a0 non-smoker - "Yeah, your face and my butt." |
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Quote: 225808; Rating: 231; [+|-]
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<stony> i'm sort of distracted at the moment]
<Skip>u00a0 getting laid?
<stony> lol no
<Skip>u00a0 then you have no excuse |
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Quote: 225811; Rating: 1024; [+|-]
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* ViVa changes topic to 'SELECT boobs FROM under_the_shirt WHERE gender = 'female' AND size > 'enough' AND leftsize = rightsize LIMIT 2;' |
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Quote: 225813; Rating: 326; [+|-]
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< mf> LeeCHeSSS, i said it before and i'll say it again
< mf> you're too damn serious for the internet
< mf> go read bash.org or something
< mf> ;D
< floris> haha
<+LeeCHeSSS> I seriously dislike bash.org
<+LeeCHeSSS> And why you think I am too serious for the internet is beyond me.
< mf> LeeCHeSSS: you just answered your own question |
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Quote: 225829; Rating: 256; [+|-]
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<The Monkey>: But my ex girlfriend's dad had one redeeming feature, his wallet
<The Monkey>: More capacious than an elephant's scrotum but just as difficult to get your hands on |
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Quote: 225840; Rating: 621; [+|-]
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(SuperMarine): i swear to go
(SuperMarine): d
(SuperMarine): if that dog next door dosnt shut up
(SuperMarine): im going to do something bad
(AfroTrance): like complain over irc |
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Quote: 225866; Rating: 240; [+|-]
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* ian wonders who was responsible for the "stuff that matters" part of the /. slogan ......
<l_oke> ian: I know one thing
<l_oke> ian: he's a pathological liar |
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Quote: 226350; Rating: 1111; [+|-]
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<Cas> I used to enjoy going into Best Buy back in 95, do a search on them for *.exe, *.bat, *.com it always came up with a few thousand
<Cas> drag all of them to the startup folder
<StarManta> ROFL
<Cas> walk away and watch :)
<mystic_1> rofl
<Cas> act innocent
<Cas> always worked for me, they never suspected a girl would do that :) |
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Quote: 226373; Rating: 215; [+|-]
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<Fawn> OMG
<Fawn> I just found out that my little brother has the hots for the same actress I have the hots for
<AccordionGuy> ACTRESS SANDWICH |
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Quote: 226426; Rating: 327; [+|-]
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<Cthulhu> What the fuck is up with all the "roses are red" quotes on bash.org?
<Matt> They're cool, that's what...
<Cthulhu> Roses are red, violets are blue, SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU FUCKING JEW |
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Quote: 226476; Rating: 247; [+|-]
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<gikmo> ill sell you my sister for a sausage roll and a beer...
<gikmo> would be more, but she's used. |
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Quote: 226563; Rating: 1659; [+|-]
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< kate> wat r u doin ryt now
< Patrick`> Trying not to hunt you down and beat you into a pulp with a dictionary. |
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Quote: 226722; Rating: 872; [+|-]
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seamus: Monday is President's Day.
seamus: What are YOU going to get YOUR president?
seamus: I'm going to get mine a dictionary and a Clifford the Big Red Dog book. |
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Quote: 226987; Rating: 250; [+|-]
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<Jackryan2000guy> You know you've played too much soul caliber when you get the sudden urge in the middle of a calculus test to stand up, wave your fist and yell, "Souls! Come to me!" |
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Quote: 227205; Rating: 480; [+|-]
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<JediDrunkenLlama> YES!
<JediDrunkenLlama> YES YES YES!
<JediDrunkenLlama> score one for the JDL.
<JediDrunkenLlama> I just convinced a telemarketer that I'm female. |
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Quote: 227455; Rating: 1438; [+|-]
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<cheapo> haha, this screen appeared on my windows that said "time before shutdown: 60 seconds"
<cheapo> so i turned the windows clock 2 years backwards and now it says "time before shutdown: 729 days" :D:D
<cheapo> i just love windows :D |
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Quote: 227562; Rating: 260; [+|-]
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< madsen> Lol, just found this in the /.-comments to the win2k source leak. "Real men don't do backups, they just pack their files into windows_2000_source_code.zip and post them to their website.... with torrent links..." |
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Quote: 227780; Rating: 341; [+|-]
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<Saltank> I swear, John Kerry looks just like a 70 year old Max Payne. |
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Quote: 227855; Rating: 790; [+|-]
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* MaianAlien goes to reformat other PC.
<Jerec> It's as if a million files suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced. |
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Quote: 228076; Rating: 418; [+|-]
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<GiLtY2> oh god, this program is killing me
* crumpiano fights off program
* GiLtY2 has quit IRC (Ping timeout)
<crumpiano> i guess the program got him |
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