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Quote: 216775; Rating: 440; [+|-]
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<Wolfie_Fox> someone should make a song about ping timeout's
<Man1c-M0g> look at the badger badger flash, replace badger with 'ping', mushroom with 'timeout', and snake with 'netsplit', and theres your song wolfie.
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Quote: 216818; Rating: 701; [+|-]
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<+usrbingeek> NBC has announced it will air a three-episode marathon of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy opposite the Super Bowl on February 1st.
<+usrbingeek> So, if you get tired of watching a bunch of buff, sweaty men in uniforms patting each other on the ass and bending over to pass something between their legs, you now have the choice of watching something really gay.
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Quote: 216831; Rating: 972; [+|-]
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<Volt9000> WHY ARE THERE ALWAYS PUBES ALL OVER MY KEYBOARD?!
<FunG> you coughed?
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Quote: 216859; Rating: 72; [+|-]
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<LEPREHAUN> does anyone knows how backups are done in offices?
<Dazzlemar> slight of hand and mirrors
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Quote: 216908; Rating: 524; [+|-]
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<Pedingto> I find this job can be real hell at times.
<Pedingto> When this UBER-FIT woman came in
<Pedingto> and purchased many packs of condoms.
<Pedingto> I so wanted to ask her if she heard our try before you buy policy >:)
<Etheria_Dawn> LOL!
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Quote: 216963; Rating: 1389; [+|-]
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<billiam> crap... some one knocked over my recycle bin... there's icons all over my desktop...
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Quote: 217067; Rating: 424; [+|-]
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<Pocket_Sized_Jesus> aw shit.
<Pocket_Sized_Jesus> i was deleteing some files
<Pocket_Sized_Jesus> and i sneezed
<Pocket_Sized_Jesus> and deleted an entire tree
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Quote: 217123; Rating: 600; [+|-]
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<Yak|Sleep> One day
<Yak|Sleep> The stupidity of the world will implode on itself
<Yak|Sleep> Taking the universe with it
<Trufant> i shall live on mars by then
<WhiTey-FU> can't wait.
<Yak|Sleep> Congratulations
<Yak|Sleep> You officially are one of those to contribute to the implosion
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Quote: 217183; Rating: 1372; [+|-]
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zadijan: CUSTOMER NOTIFICATION. As of May 2001, Viagra will only be available through chemists by its chemical name. So please ask for MYCOXAFLOPPIN. Thank you.
zadijan: ... OH MY GOD
zadijan: THAT WAS THE BEST EMAIL I EVER RECEIVED
zadijan: EVER
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Quote: 217209; Rating: 818; [+|-]
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EiNHaNdeR MK II> you know that term "If you were my homework, i would be doing you on the desk right now"
EiNHaNdeR MK II> i changed it to "If you were my homework, my dog would be eating you right now"
EiNHaNdeR MK II> i was slapped by this fat chick in class when i said it
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Quote: 217251; Rating: 479; [+|-]
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<Binkster> since I started using OpenBSD... I went from six to eight inches!
<BSDuser> stop lying and your nose will get back to normal
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Quote: 217286; Rating: 261; [+|-]
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Ifonlyiwerecool: we're supposed to make a program for java, and it has to get the highest # out of a set
Ifonlyiwerecool: and we're supposed to name the program 'getHigh'
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Quote: 217287; Rating: 1546; [+|-]
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Holy Man: Our local Catholic church has plans to bring their parishioners to services by bus
THe Monkey: Are they gonna call it 'Mass Transit'?
Holy Man: smartass
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Quote: 217388; Rating: 756; [+|-]
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>>> join/#php: jbc [jbc@p129-tnt5.syd.ihug.com.au]
< haazard> do you know php?
< jbc> no, this is a drugs channel
< jbc> we used to be #pcp
< jbc> but we all forgot how to spell it
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Quote: 217416; Rating: 744; [+|-]
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<ShatnersBassoon>Ouch. Just been to the toilet for a poo, and I decided to do a bit of a dangleberry-tidy. Suffice it to say I'm now several bumhairs lighter.
<Kenny>That's probably more information that I needed.
<Kenny>"than"
<Kenny>fuck
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Quote: 217447; Rating: 319; [+|-]
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DShadow_: I don't have any use for floppies now.
DShadow_: Though I've still got a ton in my closet
twist: better archive them to cdr before they rot
DShadow_: Most of them I did.
twist: (then archive those to dvd-r before they rot)
LafinJack: and archive *those* to MTRs
LafinJack: ack, i'm not supposed to talk about that :o
DShadow_: LafinJack: MTR?
LafinJack: shh, you didn't hear me say that
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Quote: 217453; Rating: 8869; [+|-]
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<@Chin^> My sister caught me jacking off the other week and calls me a pervert
<@Chin^> just the other day i walked into my room and caught my sister masturbating
<@Chin^> So she calls me a pervert again?!?
<@Chin^> there is no justice in the world...
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Quote: 217478; Rating: 400; [+|-]
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<Zero> in the summer my friend was chipping golf balls
<Zero> one ball went on my other neighbours yard
<Zero> chased him with a pitch fork
<Zero> honest to god
<Zero> a pitch fork
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Quote: 217584; Rating: 605; [+|-]
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<+mR_sCaRy> start killing stuff in task manager
*** seeen (seeen@CPE00055dea8987-CM0010954a5bde.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com) has left IRC (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
<+mR_sCaRy> not that one :P
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Quote: 217604; Rating: 892; [+|-]
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< jgaddis> know what's funny?
< jgaddis> -r-xr-xr-x 2 root wheel 85740 Oct 30 06:36 /usr/bin/less
< jgaddis> -r-xr-xr-x 2 root wheel 85740 Oct 30 06:36 /usr/bin/more
<@LeBear> A green tapdancing kangaroo!
< jgaddis> more is really less
<@LeBear> jgaddis: more or less, of course
< patrickT> so less IS more! :)
<@SpamapS> less is not more, less is more than more
< jgaddis> less isn't more
< jgaddis> more is less
<@LeBear> SpamapS: how much more is less more than more?
<@SpamapS> no, more is less than less.
< themaxxz> less is indeed more
<@SpamapS> LeBear: more tha more is less than less.
<@LeBear> SpamapS: you mean less is more more than more is less less?
<@SpamapS> LeBear: more or less
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Quote: 217728; Rating: 372; [+|-]
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<Onux> [Onux PING reply]: 2mins 48secs
<Onux> =(
<rich> man
<rich> i could probably drive out to you
<rich> say something
<rich> and drive back to peoria
<rich> and it'd be faster than if i typed it here
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Quote: 217754; Rating: 489; [+|-]
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[scratchme] Cris, you ever smell moth balls before?
[scratchme] ;)
[PaC] scratchme: Smell is understatement. I've had them put in my mouth when I was younger.
[scratchme] PaC, how did you get their little legs apart?
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Quote: 217761; Rating: 419; [+|-]
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DinjackPD: so I'm studying for my history final
DinjackPD: And there's this old WW2 propaganda poster
DinjackPD: Of this guy driving along alone with an outline of hitler next to him
DinjackPD: And the title is
DinjackPD: 'WHEN YOU RIDE ALONE, YOU RIDE WITH HITLER!'
DinjackPD: isn't that contradicting?
Jahman98: hahahahah
Jahman98: yeah
Jahman98: that's great stuff
DinjackPD: 'When you ride alone, you ride ALONE, however you do use up valuable gas that is intended for the war effort and thus make it easier for the Nazis to win. You Jew hating BASTARD.'
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Quote: 217770; Rating: 1611; [+|-]
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<DoesNotExist> HAHAHAH. HAMLET THE TEXT ADVENTURE.
<doughnut> DUDE.
<Zinger> You have two options.
<Zinger> 1) Be.
<Zinger> 2) Not be.
<doughnut> hahahaha
<Gohanmastaflex> haha
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Quote: 217923; Rating: 768; [+|-]
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[RJoeFish] hmmm
[RJoeFish] my mom forwarded me something called 'Who's your daddy?', this can't be good
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Quote: 218036; Rating: 566; [+|-]
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* FL|Oz has joined #gamesnet
<FL|Oz> OH LEET
<FL|Oz> i am not banned anymore
* [29thFC]Sgt1c-Killa has joined #gamesnet
<[29thFC]Sgt1c-Killa> YAY
<FL|Oz> were u banned too?
<[29thFC]Sgt1c-Killa> no i forgot how to use mIRC
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Quote: 218099; Rating: 244; [+|-]
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[+Silus]: is there anywhere you can fix graphics cards ? Pm me plz
[@foulkesaway]: what u mean 'fix'
[@madmk]: like.. he snapped it in-half and needs some special graphics-card glue
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Quote: 218178; Rating: 589; [+|-]
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<BMPthePNG> haha
<BMPthePNG> I put on smashing live and my cat laid down and purred
<BMPthePNG> so I thought 'hmmm' and put on System of a down
<BMPthePNG> she went and attacked the dog
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Quote: 218182; Rating: 1720; [+|-]
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<WickedClown> well one night after sex i was lazy and left the condom on the floor till morning
<WickedClown> her dog ate it
<WickedClown> and her dad found it hanging from the dogs butt the next day
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Quote: 218187; Rating: 199; [+|-]
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<Aglandiir> All you have to do is have a huge amount of energy
<Aglandiir> etc.
<Aglandiir> you can make a l33t food replicator
<+Bayonetto> I must admit
<Aeriana> But I want n3rd to DCC me food everyday.
<Aeriana> ;)
<+Bayonetto> I'd rather be able to fire myself to the coast or something.
<+Triskelios> but you're cooking it...
<+Triskelios> =P
<Aeriana> No, I'm too lazy.
<+Arty2> you'll download it through kazaa
<+Triskelios> haha
<+Triskelios> pirated food
<Aeriana> Then they'd be suing you for copyrights.
<+Bayonetto> illegaly shared pizza.
<Aglandiir> It would be dummy food
<+Arty2> cracks for pasta
<+Triskelios> free KFC for everyone
<Aglandiir> it wouldn't be a burger
<Aglandiir> it would be a photo of Madonna screaming at you
<Aglandiir> YOU BTCH WHY ARE YOU STEALING MY FOOD
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Quote: 218267; Rating: 817; [+|-]
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<@Majistic> {MoxQuizz}. The question no. 39 is:
<@Majistic> (Geography) What is the basic unit of currency for Syria ?
<MEBKlaymen> children
<evol> women
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Quote: 218295; Rating: 412; [+|-]
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<Foobar> stealth hacking? i am about as stealthy as a pregnant elephant on crack.
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Quote: 218315; Rating: 2346; [+|-]
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<oliciv> Roses are red,
<oliciv> violets are blue,
<oliciv> badger badger badger,
<oliciv> badger badger mushroom
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Quote: 218462; Rating: 393; [+|-]
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[CaSiNo] wtf is the trivia game?
[Hellz] type /wuit to start it
::: quit: (Hellz) (Quit: —I-n-v-i-s-i-o-n— 2.0 Build 3515)
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Quote: 218569; Rating: 1098; [+|-]
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<[GSF]Pyronus> CAPSLOCK IS AUTOPILOT FOR COOL
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Quote: 218575; Rating: 121; [+|-]
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<D-FENZ> anyone know how much you can overclock the 2500xp before shit happnes
<Moonman> if u smell burning....then i'd slow down :P
<Malthius> sounds like sex really
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Quote: 218577; Rating: 736; [+|-]
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<dngnand> Never tell your hairdresser "Make me look like a porn star!"
<nick> espeically without specifying what gender or what decade
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Quote: 218850; Rating: 182; [+|-]
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<fiz> I'm touching my hard drive right now
<fiz> adjusting the pins
<Khazwerk> mmm
<fiz> spinning up my disk
<fiz> s
<Khazwerk> what jumper position is it set at? tell me *slowly*
<fiz> READING/WRITING
<fiz> READR
<fiz> READ
<fiz> READ
<fiz> WRITE
<fiz> whew
<FengWork> that was quick.
<fiz> yeah, my seek time rocks
<fiz> spins down
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Quote: 218865; Rating: 564; [+|-]
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<Macavity> Roses are red, violets are blue. In Soviet Russia, poems write you.
<Costilled> next time please just link the bash quote
<|Wolf|> my ass is red, my balls are blue, you read bash.org, I DO TOO!
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Quote: 219069; Rating: 663; [+|-]
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<jesus_X> Back in high school, I was fueding with this football phag, because I boinked his sister, then broke up with her. In the middle of english class, he starts making noises calling me gay, fag, etc.
<jesus_X> So, after 15 minutes of it, and him not listening to the teacher to shut up, I got him good.
<jesus_X> I turned around, looked him dead in the eye, and said:
<jesus_X> You didn't have any complaints last night!
<jesus_X> He NEVER spoke to me again.
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Quote: 219186; Rating: 790; [+|-]
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* Ardham refuses to put flamable objects in close proximity to his manhood.... though it may have prevented the 3 kids he has now.
<Tierrie_> Its not too late to put flamable objects near your kids
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Quote: 219349; Rating: 1551; [+|-]
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<myliw0rk> There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research.
<myliw0rk> This means that by 2020, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
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Quote: 219380; Rating: 1836; [+|-]
|
Sushispook: so we're swapping out all these old pc's with newer ones
Sushispook: and we're stacking them up in piles in the cube next to me
Sushispook: and all the old ones have various notes on them, since some have been pillaged for parts
Sushispook: i go into the cube to talk to the rentatech and see how he's doing, and i lean up against the cube
Sushispook: and i end up walking out with one of those notes stuck to my ass
Sushispook: and just try and guess what that note said
Sushispook: NEEDS HARD DRIVE
Sushispook: right on my ass
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Quote: 219418; Rating: 298; [+|-]
|
* Avatar-X gives kris a colourful gift box with question marks and tux's printed all over. "Open it!"
* Kris looks around nervously and slowly opens it
<Avatar-X> it's empty!
<Avatar-X> the box represents what an open-source linux programmer makes in a year :)
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Quote: 219421; Rating: 334; [+|-]
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<Lunaris> In Taiwan, A Sperm Whale Suddenly exploded in the streets
<Lunaris> according to my newspaper
<Stiletto> I heard something about that
<Stiletto> I wish I had been there
<Lunaris> theres blood and guts everywhere...
<Stiletto> That would have fuckin ruled to see
<Lunaris> yuck...
<Thalamasa> ....
<Thalamasa> So wait
<Thalamasa> So there's this sperm whale
<Stiletto> "Dude that fuckin whale just exploded!"
<Thalamasa> In the streets
<Thalamasa> And it just exploded
<Thalamasa> Out of nowhere
<Stiletto> It was being hauled
<mia> LMFAO
<Stiletto> To a science lab
<Thalamasa> Okay
<Lunaris> it was being carried on a flatbed
<Thalamasa> So
<Thalamasa> yeah
<Stiletto> And internal pressure caused it to combust
<Stiletto> Sperm whale isn't meant to be anywhere except water
<Lunaris> and BOOM!!
<Stiletto> I can explain more if you like
<Lunaris> OMG...
<Flession> now they gotta clean up all the sperm
<Thalamasa> ...
<Lunaris> I am never going to that site again
<Thalamasa> Look
<Lunaris> ugh...
<Lunaris> ...
<Stiletto> Why?
<Thalamasa> Thank you for turning a whale exploding
<Thalamasa> into a bukkake fest
<Flession> I try
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Quote: 219422; Rating: 60; [+|-]
|
<DaedalusX> most constipation is where your ass muscles have had it tho :P
<Nigelenki> x.o
<Nigelenki> that's gonna happen to me one day
<Nigelenki> my ass is gonna just give out from the stress
<DaedalusX> heheheh
<DaedalusX> Elvis died straining on the toilet :P
<Nigelenki> o.o;
<DaedalusX> in case you didn't know
<Nigelenki> i was referring to things going in more than coming out.
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Quote: 219428; Rating: 358; [+|-]
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<Arsonic> steam, steam, the magical fruit. the more you play the more you reboot
|
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Quote: 219469; Rating: 310; [+|-]
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<JtotheB> ( o Y o )
<Yosho> o.o
<Nazi[Genocide]> I wonder if anyone's ever gotten off to ascii pr0n, like in the 80's
<JtotheB> Way ahead of you.
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Quote: 219514; Rating: 431; [+|-]
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<ProAlias> re
<ProAlias> phew
<ProAlias> time flies when you're playing Desert Combat
<ProAlias> no wonder the americans are stuck in Iraq
<Jeedo> lol
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|
Quote: 219548; Rating: 1536; [+|-]
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<Snoody> Banky, are you still a virgin?
<Banky> Ask your mom.
<Snoody> She said yes.
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