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Quote: 117337; Rating: 252; [+|-]
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<FireEgl> so hurngy =(
<tito> why don't you eat your dick?
<tito> heh
<FireEgl> I need something more filling.
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Quote: 117351; Rating: 253; [+|-]
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<@Shively> my last college had a guy who was smearing feces on the bathroom walls
<+PickleHead> ewww
<@Shively> yea well the guy at our college was becomming so popular that the student goverment put an article out on him
<+PickleHead> have you seen the book called Brown spots on the walls by "hooflung pooh"?
<+PickleHead> :P
<@Shively> he said he would stop if he could have a spot for somehting he wanted to say
<@Shively> so they gave it to him and he defended it as an art form
<+PickleHead> LMAO
<+PickleHead> you can't be serious
<@Shively> saying that feces drawn on walls is an expression of fecal art
<@Shively> so
<+PickleHead> ......................................
<+PickleHead> fecal... art....
<@Shively> the janitors responded with their own article
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Quote: 117577; Rating: 844; [+|-]
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<Eyal> i've been having a dilemma
<Eyal> what are better to play with
<Eyal> boobs or balls?
<Fidel-> boobs
<hex-> boobs
<Eyal> i mean, when they're yours
<Fidel-> balls
<hex-> balls
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Quote: 117663; Rating: 453; [+|-]
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*** Antiarc is now known as Antiarrrrrrc
<Bloody_Davy_Flint> How's it going Antiarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrc?
<Antiarrrrrrc> Arr, there be a steering wheel in me crotch!
<screevo> Doesnt that hurt?
<Antiarrrrrrc> Aye! It's drivin' me nuts!
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Quote: 117673; Rating: 350; [+|-]
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<jgannon> Quicktime 0wnz... if you have a Mac. :-)
<PatrickD> so where can I go to download a Mac? ;-)
<jgannon> PatrickD: www.goatse.cx
<jgannon> Wow... I haven't said THAT in a long time.
<PatrickD> somehow that version of the Mac never worked well for me
<jgannon> Yeah... too many wide open ports.
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Quote: 117674; Rating: 225; [+|-]
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<The_Defiance> who cares... i mean really, illiterate people on a text based chat program would be almost as bizarre as a blind optician
<My3blka> Def, it's commonplace, it's called AOL
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Quote: 117682; Rating: 193; [+|-]
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<Terra> there i was at a donkey stall, there was a sign there saying in english : would u like to ride on your own ass?
<Terra> so i was like ??
<UPC_Nemo> Like?
<UPC_Nemo> Did you ride the badass assride?
<zuhrich_> lol
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Quote: 117687; Rating: 460; [+|-]
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<assturbation> this nick doesnt exactly scream "heterosexual"
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Quote: 117691; Rating: 433; [+|-]
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<Ali_> no canadian cars eh?
<Egg_> no
<Egg_> i don't think there's a canadian made car
<Egg_> lol
<Egg_> that would be cool if there was
<Egg_> we'd have shitty animal names though
<Egg_> like the Ford Canadian Goose
<Egg_> or the Chevy Beaver
<Egg_> man
<Egg_> i'd so drive a Chevy Beaver
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Quote: 117696; Rating: 390; [+|-]
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<ToiletDuc> I remember when I first came to the realization that I was a geek.... I came home from working on a router lab all day at school, picked up the phone, and dialed the IP address for Router C
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Quote: 117698; Rating: 6; [+|-]
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<AnaloG-KiD|EatingIsDope> icy has a personality?
<Prince_C> yeah its called a down syndrome
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Quote: 117711; Rating: 748; [+|-]
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<@|KFG|Candle[DDD]> im from uganda
<@cylyk> interesting
<@cylyk> i'm canadian!
<@|KFG|Candle[DDD]> actually im not from uganda
<@|KFG|Candle[DDD]> where is canada?
<@swolf> its an american expansion pack
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Quote: 117732; Rating: 705; [+|-]
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<bfdd> i heard the mcdonalds commerical say special sauce
<bfdd> and i thought "ill give em some special sauce"
<kcl822> heh
<bfdd> and then i realized
<bfdd> i was talking dirty to a tv commerical
<bfdd> and felt ashamed of myself
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Quote: 117856; Rating: 446; [+|-]
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Kiache Majere: Hey, want to go see a movie later?
Kiache Majere: Do you suck cock?
Der Zwitter Affe: yes
Der Zwitter Affe: shit i mean yes to the movies
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Quote: 117885; Rating: 325; [+|-]
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<ExS> McDonalds
<ExS> "Mick-Don-Ulds"
<ExS> A handy substitute for food, in the same way that piss is a handy substitute for fresh drinking water.
<ExS> Dude: "Why are you holding a turd in your hand? OH MY GOD, DON'T PUT THAT TURD IN YOUR MOUTH!!!!"
<ExS> Other dude: "It's McDonalds."
<ExS> Dude: "Oh! Can I have a bite?"
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Quote: 117914; Rating: 1937; [+|-]
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<SpitZ> this sms was sent by a friend of mine
<SpitZ> Sally mr. pls,2wedding
<SpitZ> What's that supposed to mean?
<crazhee> i think it read as "Sally mist'er period. please comma to wedding"
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Quote: 117947; Rating: 28; [+|-]
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[@CadWork] I used to be afraid to eat bananas at the office because we had a known homosexual in my dept
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Quote: 117991; Rating: 2453; [+|-]
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<Ab0mination> I sleep on a bunk bed yeah, which is only accessbile by a ladder and last night I must've been dreaming or something because I woke up screaming about my ladder being taken off my bed so I couldn't get down
<Ab0mination> And I dreamt that there was a badger sleeping at the end of the bed
<Ab0mination> So in sheer terror I jumped from my bunkbed down onto the floor at 3am.
<Ab0mination> I've now got to go to the vet to get my cat checked out because I landed right on him as he was sleeping on my floor and squashed him. (he's a deaf fuckwit)
<Ab0mination> My parents and sisters are not speaking to me.
<Ab0mination> Because they found me kneeling down beside the limp cat yelling manically at it and waggling my fingers at it like the Borg of Star Trek do.
<Ab0mination> Apparently I was screaming: "I am Locutus of Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile".
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Quote: 118031; Rating: 182; [+|-]
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<aleisha_van> all of the puppets in the thunderbirds look vaguely like ernest borgnine. even the women. it's unnerving.
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Quote: 118035; Rating: 131; [+|-]
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<Nermal> the only way I could secure windows was by putting bars over my monitor
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Quote: 118041; Rating: 866; [+|-]
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<ConqSoft> I don't like tan lines myself.
<ConqSoft> I can find all the good parts of a woman on my own, without the help of color-coding.
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Quote: 118047; Rating: 164; [+|-]
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<Mephistol> irn and I have a proposal for you
<Invizigo> really?
<Mephistol> yes
<Invizigo> tell me
<Mephistol> its along the lines of 'wnt 2 cibur'
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Quote: 118055; Rating: 361; [+|-]
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<s_> my brother put signs up where the bathrooms are
<s_> because i pissed in the hallway last night
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Quote: 118058; Rating: 88; [+|-]
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<pLADASK> since people do not care about my alcohol-problems, im sure johnny cash is off topic as well
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Quote: 118199; Rating: 118; [+|-]
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<realmockturtle> i need to get
<realmockturtle> my nipples eyebrow and tonuge pierced
<realmockturtle> because apparently
<realmockturtle> that goes over well
<realmockturtle> oh yeah
<realmockturtle> not being a fatass would help too
<realmockturtle> but i can't solve that with a needle and a hoop
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Quote: 118480; Rating: 34; [+|-]
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<MB|Linux> so Python is a good language to start out with?
<Mike|Linux> heh sure
<Mike|Linux> That's what I am doing right now.. Or breaking another part of linux. ;)
<MB|Linux> I rememeber the old Tandy/Commodore basic :)
<MB|Linux> lol
<MB|Linux> Cool
<MB|Linux> 10 do this
<MB|Linux> 20 do that
<MB|Linux> 30 do this again
<MB|Linux> 40 run
<MB|Linux> 50 go fuck yourself
<MB|Linux> lol
<MB|Linux> 60 go get some food, this will take awhile.
<MB|Linux> Hmmm
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Quote: 118502; Rating: 406; [+|-]
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<Valqorez> I heard a strange commercial on the radio at work today....
<Valqorez> "Treat yourself to a facial and raise money for charity at the same time."
<Valqorez> I was like "What is this, a sponsored bukkake?"
<Foz> hahaha
<Valqorez> My manager gave me a long, funny look.
<Foz> lol. I didn't think many people knew that word
<Valqorez> Maybe she speaks Japanese....
<Valqorez> Odd thing was, all I could do was shrug and and say "What?"
<Foz> I know that look
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Quote: 118504; Rating: 492; [+|-]
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(Axis): oh shit, i set a timer and now i can't turn it off
(Axis): how the hell do you turn it off
(@Zaphod): type /timers
(@Zaphod): you will be told the timer number
(@Zaphod): like * Timer 2 /do something
(@Zaphod): then type /timer2 off
(@Zaphod): notice, no space after timer
(Axis): okay but it's still beepinng
(Axis): it says there is no active timers
(@Zaphod): Ahh, you didnt type / beep <number> did you ?
(Axis): but IT'S STILL BEEPING! AAAAGH!
(Axis): yeah, i did
(Axis): is that bad
(@Zaphod): what was the number you typed?
(Axis): 39482034 i think, something like that
(@Zaphod): lol - it aint stopping till it beeps that many times
(Axis): well shit
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Quote: 118548; Rating: 759; [+|-]
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<sherlock_holmes|eating> heh, so i an anatomoy paper due yesterday, and when i was babysitting last week i asked if they wouldn't mind if i usede their comp
<sherlock_holmes|eating> the dad said yea, so i asked if he had a filter for adult material turned on. he got a suspicious look in his eye and i told him that filters also block out non-pr0n related material, and since i'm doing an anatomy paper, it'd block out words that anatomy sites use, like penis or vagina
<sherlock_holmes|eating> he said he'd turn it off on the condition that i would promise not to use it for pr0n and i said 'nah, i took care of that before i came over' and we both kind of chuckled
<sherlock_holmes|eating> needless to say his wife was saying good-bye to the kid in the next room and they could hear me and not 10 minutes later i'm at home just wondering why my timid masturbation joke did more damage to that kids inner psyche than his mom calling me a filthy bastard who should rot in hell right in
front of the little guy in that high annoying voice that women get...
<ssj_gotensama> lol, you were gonna use it for wankin weren't ya
<sherlock_holmes|eating> no that's the thing, i wasn't... i brought over anal invaders 2 for when the kid went to sleep, you can track web surfing history, you can't track what videos you put in the vcr
<ssj_gotensama> well i guess the worst part is your out of an 8 buck an hour job
<sherlock_holmes|eating> no the worst part is i left my anatomy book over at their place and i don't have the balls to go over and ask for it =(
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Quote: 118551; Rating: 244; [+|-]
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<ChanServ> [|Wolf|] <|Wolf|> maybe you didn't notice my SARCASM
<m|p|Leo`xp> yo
<m|p|Leo`xp> anybody in here?
* |Wolf| is now known as No
<m|p|Leo`xp> ;-/
<m|p|Leo`xp> wolf
<m|p|Leo`xp> do u know if any1 is taking site requests?
<No> this nickname should answer all your questions
<m|p|Leo`xp> o roger that
<m|p|Leo`xp> do u know when faction will be back?
<No> ...
* No points to his nickname
<m|p|Leo`xp> k
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Quote: 118563; Rating: 114; [+|-]
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<@herugachan> Abstract art is semi-intellectual masterbation.
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Quote: 118573; Rating: 1126; [+|-]
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<Md0za> HI MEN
<MadHattr> Men is plural, I'm singular
<Md0za> >:
<Md0za> u have botnet?
<MadHattr> no.
<Md0za> <:
<Md0za> i have botnet
<Md0za> u want flood?
<MadHattr> I know your IP and I work for your ISP. Want internet disconnect?
<Md0za> no
<Md0za> <:
<Md0za> u heck?
<MadHattr> no
<Md0za> <
<Md0za> <:
<Md0za> i am hack
<Md0za> heck
<Md0za> i am 14 yers old
<MadHattr> I've noticed
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Quote: 118595; Rating: 268; [+|-]
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<Joey> holy nutsac in a tree
<LookOutForTheWam> How do you think it got up there?
<Joey> it's holy
<LookOutForTheWam> Someone castrated god?
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Quote: 118631; Rating: 568; [+|-]
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<kohupiimakook> how can u connect two computers
<kohupiimakook> like lan, but without ethernet card
<suksu> with glue maybe
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Quote: 118701; Rating: 21; [+|-]
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<predetah> i seen a real hackers movie once, but i couldnt stand ot watch it all.. those geeks were so ugly
<predetah> this zerocool charactor aint to easy to look at it either
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Quote: 118754; Rating: 561; [+|-]
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<alobodig-2> Spraying a can of Dust-Off directly into my navel was just about the worst idea I've ever had.
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Quote: 118756; Rating: 246; [+|-]
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<dirtYbird> I am looking for a ecommerce package or someone to make one up, mulitlingual etc. Found one in Jamaica but I find it hard to take anything from there too serious, I can picture them sitting back in front of their PC's with joints the size of rolled newspapers on the phone telling me "it'll be coool mon"
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Quote: 118772; Rating: 470; [+|-]
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<Mewten> video games are now making us nerds do things we would never do in other situations: Dance (DDR), Play an instrument (Samba de Amigo), and now, GO OUTSIDE. Pretty soon we'll be like normal people
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Quote: 118841; Rating: 396; [+|-]
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<Midnight_Puppy> It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors
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Quote: 118967; Rating: 425; [+|-]
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(@Ti-chan) Bukkake is when a Mommy and a Daddy and a Daddy and a Daddy and a Daddy and a Daddy and a Daddy all decide that Mommy needs some special facial moisturiser
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Quote: 119073; Rating: -869; [+|-]
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<exo> why are redneck murders so hard to solve
<exo> cuz theres no dental records and all their DNA is the same
<fearz> HAHAHA
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Quote: 119102; Rating: 656; [+|-]
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<Afghani> hi
<Afghani> h r u?
<zebra> what the hell kind of language is that?
<zebra> are you fucking fingerly impaired or something?
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Quote: 119152; Rating: 424; [+|-]
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<@ecoli> i should just ln -s /dev/urandom ircd.conf
<@ecoli> and keep restarting it
<@ecoli> eventually it'll get everything right
<@Wink> lol
<@ecoli> stupid ssl.
<@ecoli> this couldn't be less documented if it were an md5 encrypted haiku.
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Quote: 119334; Rating: 810; [+|-]
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<ClothHat> Isn't Canadian currency made out of tree bark or something?
<Cidolfas> CH: Isn't American currency made out of the skins of natives?
<ClothHat> That and broken treaties.
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Quote: 119429; Rating: 710; [+|-]
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<exo> a/s/l?
<exo> i have blonde hair and blue eyes
<exo> i like to run and play with my dog
<torechednodle> i like long walks on the beach and men who arent afraid to cry
<exo> can i approach you torechednodle
<torechednodle> omg cybersex?
<torechednodle> yes, but please turn on your landing lights and adjust ILS for approach to vector 160
<exo> there is a dead animal on the runway
<torechednodle> yes dont mind that i was shaving
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Quote: 119542; Rating: 317; [+|-]
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<BoneCollector> well americanisation is quite big in SA
<BoneCollector> all the youngsters hear want to be like the Americans, especially with the black kids
<mog> that's funny
<mog> all the white kids here want to be africans
<mog> who would have thought
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Quote: 119554; Rating: 129; [+|-]
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<axiom-> mike myers is fuckin canadian
<axiom-> he'd outsmart those two nitwit killers anyday
<starrie> the guy from halloween
<starrie> not austin powers
<starrie> ninny.
<axiom-> oh.
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Quote: 119582; Rating: 812; [+|-]
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<shroom> wtf your nick is obnoxious
<`_^-_`_^\^|```_-__^_\`_```> so is yours
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Quote: 119638; Rating: 171; [+|-]
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<remix> i was gonna come back and say "fuck the children" but i realized that it wouldnt sound too good
<ecoli> yeah
<melly> ic
<mkart64> yeah then you go to jail
<ecoli> besides, some of us are way ahead of you :D
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Quote: 119641; Rating: 650; [+|-]
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<Reaper> ur not 1337 hehe
<wonderboy> i am 19
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