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Quote: 119678; Rating: 1120; [+|-]
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Fairytalehero: ok, so someitmes me and kel shower together
Fairytalehero: and i'll have to pee. so i go "hey kel, look at this" or something, and start PEEING ON HER
Fairytalehero: she gets so mad and tries to block it
Fairytalehero: but i'm like HAHA I'M PEEING ON YOUR HAND
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Quote: 119701; Rating: 132; [+|-]
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<aO-> ugh
<aO-> almost had a brown out
<aO-> and im gone
* Quits: aO- ([email protected]) (Client Quit)
<ecoli> sounds like someone had Taco Bell for lunch
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Quote: 119765; Rating: 178; [+|-]
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(monkeh^): this girl from the us was emailing me saying her tummy hurts, out of curiosity i ask why its hurting
(monkeh^): i got the reply today
(monkeh^): and ill say this; she should have lied
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Quote: 119800; Rating: 109; [+|-]
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<FluKex> isnt cheddar house for the alternative sexual preference people?
<crib> FluKex you mean fags?
<FluKex> crib my term is less.. umm, bah, ya, its for fags
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Quote: 119813; Rating: 587; [+|-]
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<[-FcG-]Poet> lucifer is so 20th century, the devil should rename himself something like 1337Kill@r
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Quote: 119859; Rating: 793; [+|-]
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<prae> my sister is so goddamn retarded
<prae> she called mom cause she gave blood today and mom told her to drink alot of fluids
<prae> so she drank beer
<prae> what a fucking moron
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Quote: 119862; Rating: 971; [+|-]
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<Bungie> You know porn has become an addiction when you are standing at the gas pump filling your bike and just before you top it off, you pull the hose out and spray it all over the tank.
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Quote: 119866; Rating: 667; [+|-]
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<Murphy01> If i cloned myself, changed the y chromosome to an x chromosome, and then had sex with her, would it be masturbation, or incest?
<DS> how about fucking nasty?
<Murphy01> Well, that too.
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Quote: 119869; Rating: 326; [+|-]
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<Kilroy> gods, I'm dating myself again
<MPG> at least you only have to get one person drunk to have sex.
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Quote: 119896; Rating: 355; [+|-]
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<Amish> why are people fascinated with cartoon porn
<Amish> I mean, do you watch the Simpsons and really feel the need to (poorly) photoshop lisa giving bart head?
<Gudrow> when hitler was an artist he specialized in tentacle rape portaiture
<Mr_X> Gudrow: That's how the alliance between Germany and Japan began
<jre> That, and the German-Japanese scat fetish
<Mr_X> The scat fetish is the result of secret WW2 nazi experiments
<Mr_X> "HANZ, I SHALL NOW DEFECATE IN YOUR MOUTH, JA?" "JA" "DO YOU FEEL LIKE AN UBERSOLDAT YET?"
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Quote: 119903; Rating: 159; [+|-]
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<fintler> I'm 14176 lines of java closer to getting about $2000
<DocGonzo> maybe you can overcome the stigma that most java apps are gay
<fintler> once you ignore the stigma....it's kinda addictive
<DocGonzo> you mean like bumlove?
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Quote: 119918; Rating: 165; [+|-]
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<Caspian777> Once I get my picture on the net, you'll see. :P
<Suvorov> ooh can i have your picture?
<Suvorov> no baby ones though - i can't masturbate to those
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Quote: 119924; Rating: 180; [+|-]
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<@rs> i just told someone to not hide the ichat-av vu meter under another window as it would muffle his voice
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Quote: 119957; Rating: 1652; [+|-]
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<Fluidmist> so, who wants to come to mexico with me?
<technophobe> i would, but i dont speak mexican
<Fluidmist> i thought you spoke spanish.
<techophobe> i do, i dont speak mexican though
<Fluidmist> are you serious?
<technophobe> what? yes
<Fluidmist> who wants to be the one to explain this to him?
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Quote: 119969; Rating: 2857; [+|-]
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<ruffkin2> HAHAHAH dat dude you sent me 127.0.0.1 iz enfected wit sub7 im fuckin with him now
<andrw> oh good, format his computer
<Testicular_One> format his computer
<TheGreaterZero> format him
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Quote: 120095; Rating: 3247; [+|-]
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<Naudiz> my IQ is high enough that I can do anything I want
<Naudiz> college means nothing
<netbsd_> What is this almighty IQ you have and what self-scoring IQ test gave you the idea you have it?
<Naudiz> I'm a Mensa member .. I allready mentioned this.
<netbsd_> So you're in the top two percent of the population?
<netbsd_> This is me being impressed.
<Naudiz> no actually ... only 1 in 50 people qualify to be in Mensa
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Quote: 120100; Rating: 390; [+|-]
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<MrWhippy> The term 'Bisexual' is the politicly correct way to say you fuck anything
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Quote: 120159; Rating: 362; [+|-]
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<Bayls> Kaff - can you stop changing your nick. My notify list is about 98MB now, since I simply must know the nanosecond you come online.
<Kaffy> bayls, thats FUNNY considering you never talk to me :(
<Kaffy> and dammit, i miss you so much when you're not here. or soemthing.
<Bayls> Kaffy - Sadly, that's true. However, I find enough solace staring doefully out the window into the night, illuminated only by the soft haze of my monitor, thinking of you and humming "Soooommeewhere ouuuut theeere..."
<Bayls> Then I load up the vast gallery of porn, all carefully edited to include your head with the tampons stuck up your nose on each body, have a brisk pull, then fall into a restful sleep, my own manpaste hardening to a flaky crust as I slumber.
<Kaffy> aww how romantic *sniff*
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Quote: 120239; Rating: 103; [+|-]
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<Icedagger> this is still the best name i've ever found in canada411... Harry Poon
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Quote: 120260; Rating: 832; [+|-]
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<baka-san> a byte to eat? *groan*
<baka-san> I ate at a suhsi place once that called their pieces bits,
you could order a 4-bit nibble, and 8-bit byte, a 16-bit halfword, or a
32-bit word.
<baka-san> Some of their large combo platters were named after structs.
<baka-san> The TCP header that we ordered was very tasty.
<billf> "you know you're in silicon valley when...."
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Quote: 120282; Rating: 322; [+|-]
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* SykoFreud ([email protected]) has joined #rap
<SykoFreud> so uhm ... I am a producer from norway, and i am looking for good rappers.
<Kris81> word
<Kris81> shizzle mah nizzle let me drop this line for you foo
<pauze> hahaha
<Kris81> i make dem raps so good your pants be filled with goo
<pauze> bla bla bla bla
<pauze> ha ha ha ha
<pauze> im the best rapper out there
<pauze> LOL
<SykoFreud> I see.
* SykoFreud ([email protected]) has left #rap
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Quote: 120296; Rating: 10576; [+|-]
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<link>once upon a midnight dreary, while i pron surfed, weak and weary, over many a strange and spurious site of ' hot xxx galore'. While i clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour, " 'Tis not possible!", i muttered, " give me back
my free hardcore!"..... quoth the server, 404.
<hokage> *cries*, scary....
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Quote: 120306; Rating: 166; [+|-]
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<Acj> PAPAPAPA PADA PADA! POMPOMPOMPAPA POMPOM!
<Acj> I love singing along with house music.
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Quote: 120398; Rating: 748; [+|-]
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<seg> I just spent 10 minutes checking my keyboard connections only to find that i had been typing my root password in an irc channel instead of the ssh window.
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Quote: 120413; Rating: 291; [+|-]
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<Calaveron> I'm so sick and tired of gay people on message boards adding to their signatures
<Calaveron> "PROUD TO BE GAY"
<Calaveron> And fruity colors
<Calaveron> I mean
<Calaveron> WTF?
<Calaveron> Fine, you can be gay, I don't care
<mog> i love peer
<mog> it pwned cass good
<Calaveron> Don't be flaunting it, then it's annoying and you get all bitchy when someone complains and thinks he's a homophobe
* mog Random Mp3 - Queen - Killer Queen.mp3 - Size: 3.45MB - Length: 3mins 2secs
<Calaveron> I'm straight
<Calaveron> I don't go adding pirate flags to my signatures
<Calaveron> "PROUD TO NOT SUCK COCKS"
<mog> lol
* cass has joined #herpes
* ChanServ sets mode: +o cass
<mog> fuck
<mog> spoke too soon
<draik]> wb
<Calaveron> pirate flags with boobies and skull and crossbones and all that
* mog is now known as asspirate
<asspirate> YAR
<draik]> rofl
<asspirate> SHIVER ME COLON AND BLOW MY LOAD
<asspirate> THERE BE TREASURE IN THAT BOYS ASS
<draik]> lmao
<asspirate> yar
<asspirate> me n firs mate willy
<asspirate> thar be dragons to, yar
<asspirate> flamin dragons
<asspirate> with cacks as long as tha sea
<asspirate> yar
<asspirate> got' dig deep fer ye gold
<asspirate> yar
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Quote: 120433; Rating: 276; [+|-]
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<Nermaldrunk> alcohol is so comforting
<Austin> Yeah, vomit's just like a warm blanket, only in liquid form.
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Quote: 120514; Rating: 312; [+|-]
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<Silver> i neeber olok at ym kyebord wen i tpey
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Quote: 120519; Rating: 499; [+|-]
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<confuted> they said "non-toxic" we figured that meant "safe to drink"
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Quote: 120607; Rating: 487; [+|-]
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<Turbopor> Why did God put men on earth?
<HamNcheese> Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.
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Quote: 120620; Rating: 152; [+|-]
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<Myst> ez mac? is that a pimping kit or something?
* Myst just pictures this pimp on the box with gold teeth and oversized sunglasses give you on the thumbs up
<Myst> free faux gold oversized neckchain with 10 proof of purchases
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Quote: 120654; Rating: 470; [+|-]
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<BigFagShittyFaggotBastard> I fucking hate spam, im going to murder the guy who made it and rape his children, I sure hope this mail isnt spam it doesnt look like it HOLY SHIT SAVE ON INK CARTRIDGES!! IM GLAD MY FILTER DIDNT BLOCK THIS, TO THE COMPUTER STORE
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Quote: 120975; Rating: 1423; [+|-]
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<dreamer> Gargamale: a girl that posts on the local goth forum used to think lol meant lots of love, and got a rather rude awakening after someone's mother died - "how was the funeral? lol"
<Jesterace> haha
<Gargamale> LOL
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Quote: 120993; Rating: 631; [+|-]
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<Head> if I download porn off of Kazaa
<Head> you think the RIAA can find me?
<dsbnh> yeah the RECORDING industry has huge ties for porn
<[GSF]Nitro> Head- you will be sued by Ron Jeremy
<[GSF]Nitro> actually, since his penis is a legal entity and franchise, it will be the wang that sues you
<Head> lol
<dsbnh> its actually declared a country
<dsbnh> you can recieve asylum by hiding under it
<dsbnh> it was recognized as a hero when it saved 3 children from drowning
<Head> lol
<Panz> and then cummed in there faces
<dsbnh> ....
<Panz> *Splat*
<Panz> ....
<dsbnh> why must you turn a story of heroism into a sick twisted pedophile affair
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Quote: 121064; Rating: 120; [+|-]
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*** Master_Hacker ([email protected]) has joined channel #2600
<Master_Hacker> hi all
<buo> HI MASTER HACKER
<Master_Hacker> hi
<buo> DO YOU HAVE GIBSON TEKNIQ ?
<Master_Hacker> no
<Master_Hacker> hang on
<Master_Hacker> ...
<Master_Hacker> ill check
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Quote: 121101; Rating: 247; [+|-]
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<Saty> man
<Saty> active directory is to system resources
<Saty> what joseph stalin was to human rights
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Quote: 121126; Rating: 336; [+|-]
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<typobox43> programming without arrays is like swimming without trunks. it works, but for most people, it's ugly.
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Quote: 121175; Rating: 389; [+|-]
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<jvalenzu> dude
<jvalenzu> can you imagine a rice field working game?
<jvalenzu> that would rock
<jvalenzu> SimGrain
<jvalenzu> SimGrain: Wild Rice Expansion Pack
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Quote: 121231; Rating: 186; [+|-]
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<Allister> Rookie, look in your Maximum PC where it compared all those gaming machines.
<R00kie_> hold on , gota wipe the sticky stuff off
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Quote: 121270; Rating: 568; [+|-]
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<aeonite> if you wrap your heat sink in tissue paper it will last longer
<asshat> yeah I know!
<kmad> haw
<BChikapa> I just tried that anFIRE FIRE OMG
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Quote: 121295; Rating: 587; [+|-]
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<Bravo56> How the hell is a penguin considered a bird? It can't fly!
<Gremhawk> It has wings?
<Bravo50> Ya, and I have man titties, that doesn't make me a woman.
<Gremhawk> No, that just makes you a man with larger than normal breasts.
<Bravo56> Go suck a dick.
<Gremhawk> Your the woman, you do it. I'll just tell you how good it is.
<Bravo56> I hate you.
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Quote: 121465; Rating: 906; [+|-]
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<CanyonMan> should it disturb me that the can of campbell's baked beans
is labeled: "Now with more beans!" ?
<CanyonMan> It's still a 12 ounce can
<CanyonMan> So they must have REMOVED something to have the
same weight and volume, but more beans?
<waltman> maybe they're using smaller beans
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Quote: 121476; Rating: 48; [+|-]
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<fearz> lol
<fearz> better than my case
<fearz> the police caught me with 20 cc's
<xvx> woops
<fearz> i got probation for a year
<xvx> that sucks
<fearz> and had to repay like $4000
<xvx> damn
<xvx> that doesnt look good on a record
<xvx> fraud at the age of 15
<fearz> lol
<fearz> hell, it looks perfect now with all the other shit
<fearz> heh
<xvx> hahahah
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Quote: 121498; Rating: 1586; [+|-]
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<jackie> OMG i got an A in reading!!!
<jackie> oh wait...damn it nvm...
<jackie> i read my report card wrong :/
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Quote: 121539; Rating: 135; [+|-]
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<Mr_Joshua> no, they take those silicone bags & put them in boxes with electronic equipment after writing "do not eat" all over them.
<juvenile> ...
<juvenile> Is that really a problem?
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|
Quote: 121592; Rating: 99; [+|-]
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<@jeric> If i cloned myself, changed the y chromosome to an x chromosome, and then had sex with her, would it be masturbation, or incest?
|
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Quote: 121594; Rating: 287; [+|-]
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<Rorschach`> Idiocy is the default state of all IRC channels. It takes a great deal of effort to raise the level of things to only moderately moronic.
|
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Quote: 121764; Rating: 708; [+|-]
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<Desiree> my room is clean!
<Junpei> mine... is far from clean
<Junpei> but i have a chai smoothie
<Junpei> so everything is oooooooooooook
<Desiree> neet
<p00p> chai smoothie?
<Junpei> yup
<p00p> WTF?
<p00p> why do you crackers steal everything from us?
<p00p> first it's our music
<p00p> now it's our food
<Junpei> i didnt steal anything from a pile of poop, thanks
<p00p> yes, but you stole it from my peoples
<p00p> =P
<p00p> and WTF is up with this "Punjabi MC - Beware of the Boys"???
<p00p> just because they couldn't pronounce that shit they had to translate it
<Junpei> and who exactly are you people
<p00p> it didn't even have Punjabi MC in it, it was just a remix by that tosser Jay Z
<Junpei> i didnt know poop orginated from india
<p00p> Indians
<p00p> did I ever say that?
<Junpei> well, you are poop
<p00p> your tiptoeing around everything else i said
p00p ([email protected]) is now known as Siddartha
<Junpei> and besides the chai i get wasnt stolen from anyone, its actually made in india and imported here
<Junpei> so how am i stealing
<Siddartha> your stealing a part of my culture
<Siddartha> and being a poser
<Siddartha> by trying to be "hip" and "ethnic"
<Junpei> im not trying to be hip or ethnic
<Junpei> i just fucking like chai
<Junpei> get off my nuts
<Junpei> and stop trying to pull the oppressed kid from another country act, get over it
<Junpei> thats like me saying YOU USE AMERICA ONLINE YOU CULTURE STEALING BASTARD
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Quote: 121804; Rating: 588; [+|-]
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<Link> I'm going to make a PC Case, with a built in fridge.
<Link> never will I be without a cold drink or snack again :D
<pookie> put an athlon in there too
<pookie> and you won't need a microwave either
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Quote: 121862; Rating: 307; [+|-]
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<tobester> thats like being with a hot chick all night and then you go "hey I gotta piss ill be right back" and she goes "I'll join you" and you think you're about to get a handjob but really she just needs to piss and takes the urinal next to yours and hasa bigger penis than yours
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Quote: 121969; Rating: 377; [+|-]
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<@Total-MK> You know when you play SMB and you get that weird thing at the end of each stage that says 'sorry the princess is in the OTHER castle' do you have herd panties?
<@Total-MK> :P
<@Total-MK> *her
<The_Purple_Bunny> Bowser's got all her panties.
<The_Purple_Bunny> He ain't sharing.
<The_Purple_Bunny> >:(
<@Total-MK> lol.
<The_Purple_Bunny> Everyone knows the only reason she got kidnapped so many times is because she WANTED it.
<@Total-MK> Well I always wonderd what she was doing up in Bowsers flying duck thingy in SMW.
<The_Purple_Bunny> Blowjob, DUH!
<@Total-MK> and she kinda goes down after throwing a mushroom out...ya know
<@Total-MK> *Help Me Mario!* goes down
<The_Purple_Bunny> She throws the mushroom out as a way of saying "FUCKING GO AWAY"
<@Total-MK> lol.
<@Total-MK> And then there is bowsers face too
<@Total-MK> lol
<The_Purple_Bunny> It gets orgasmic to the point that Bowser can't control the vehicle anymore, and it just bounces along the ground.
<The_Purple_Bunny> The mechakoopas he tosses out are his way of saying "Ok, we're done using these up here, you play with 'em."
<@Total-MK> lol
<@Total-MK> so thats why in the 3rd part of that fight...it starts bouncing up and down pretty hard
<@Total-MK> and what of those Big Balls?
<The_Purple_Bunny> Bowser's anal beads.
<@Total-MK> ewww
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