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Quote: 121975; Rating: 1354; [+|-]
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<Gypsy> The day Microshaft makes something that doesn't suck, is the day they make a vacuum.
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Quote: 122297; Rating: 238; [+|-]
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<kszer0> sometimes I forgot I'm naked
<kszer0> and I'll go outside
DeBruce coveres his eyes
kszer0 bends over to pick up a penny
Hiroshirou rams zero like no tommorow
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Quote: 122454; Rating: 450; [+|-]
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<GooRooPR> I've got cats, they like to puke (always on the fucking carpet, no matter what). While this bothers me, it at one time was tolerable when one kitty would puke the other would run in and eat it. I liked that system, I'd cheer them on, let them know that they where good kitties, pet them while they ate each
others puke, and what not. I even had it down to a perfect science where I'd reduce catfood to insure total puke clean
<GooRooPR> WTF? Do they expect me to eat it? Cause I'm not some bottomless pit, they puke a lot and I doubt I could keep up with that.
<GooRooPR> sorry for the flood :)
<revolver> heh
<DirtyPunk> You can tell someone needs to get out of the house and interact with humans when...
<revolver> ...they're cheering for puke eating kittens?
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Quote: 122456; Rating: -1; [+|-]
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* Kranium has quit IRC (I'mmm Sailing away.......Set an open course for the virgin sea..... Cause i've got to be freeee, free to face the life t)
<Luigi30> Wait, I'm bored, I get to be the captain.
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Quote: 122512; Rating: 683; [+|-]
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<stumpy> I saw my cousin naked one day, got some good use out of that later that night.
<momar> Fer god's sake man!
<momar> That's like eating peanut butter with a fork. It can work, it just ain't right.
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Quote: 122557; Rating: 1414; [+|-]
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<limi> does anybody know where the Table of Contents generator is, to save me of the embarrasment of talking to a virtual paper clip?
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Quote: 122558; Rating: 728; [+|-]
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<Calvinosaur> Water parks should make their entrances narrow, say 24 inches. If you can't fit through sideways, then you're too fat to be wearing a swimsuit in public.
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Quote: 122713; Rating: 1007; [+|-]
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<Feren> I'm a network engineer, and I'm o-kay / I plot all night and capture packets all day.
<Athena> You smack down PCs and eat Cat5, and go to the lavatory? On wednesdays you hunt scriptkiddies, and have roasted punk for tea?
<Slipstream> Old MacDonald had a network. EIGRP. And on this Network, he had some packets. EIGRP. With an ACK, ACK, here, and an ACK, ACK, there. Here an ACK, there an ACK, everywhere an ACK-ACK. Old Macdonald had a Network. EIGRP.
<Feren> ...
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Quote: 122738; Rating: 412; [+|-]
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<ShroomDuck> but the head we get here in ontario is fuckin horrible <ShroomDuck> HEAT! <ShroomDuck> I MEANT HEAT!
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Quote: 122771; Rating: 286; [+|-]
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<WatashiWa> *eats more moldy bread*
<WatashiWa> I'm gonna get kinky in a few minutes with some peanut butter. ^_^
<mystic_knight> ....
<Krelian|Owned> ....
<WatashiWa> ....
<mystic_knight> i feel sorry for your dog
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Quote: 122807; Rating: 981; [+|-]
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* kronikmag watches as a black hole appears from nowhere and sucks kremit into its depths where he externally implodes
<Kremit> externally implodes?
<Satan> ouch
<Satan> that's like
<Satan> bad.
<Satan> i think
<Kremit> i can undertsand imploding
<Kremit> but externally?
* Satan grabs the physics book.
<Satan> yeah
<Satan> that's definitely not a good thing.
* Links points out that Satan's physics book has a gay porn magazine inbetween the pages he's looking at.
<Satan> ah
<Satan> wrong black hole..
<Links> yeah
<Kremit> yeah
<Satan> still not good though
<Links> nope.
<Links> not good at all.
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Quote: 122817; Rating: 747; [+|-]
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<Vino> I'd jack off in the middle of a circular buttsex chain for a klondike bar
<Brother_Shinobi> ...
<Tempyst> ...
<Keyse|2> ...
<Muffdan> ...
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Quote: 122842; Rating: 219; [+|-]
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<Brian_Davion> whats a good colour for a protocal droid?
<Brian_Davion> kaiser: I'm thinking a droid just like C3P0
<KaiserPanda> make it black with inlaid gold leaf designs, and a funny hat
<KaiserPanda> and a pink lawn flamingo
<Wolf> yes, and its opening line would be "I am cornholio, human-cornhole relations"
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Quote: 122856; Rating: 1218; [+|-]
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<Ghormak> I'm going to make a GTA3 mod. If you drive more than 88 in a delorian, you end up in GTA:VC
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Quote: 122901; Rating: 532; [+|-]
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<michaelr> heh, new zealanders think the aussies are shagging the sheep, and the aussies think the nz'ers are shagging the sheep... quite frankly, i think it's the sheep who are sluts
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Quote: 122977; Rating: 381; [+|-]
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<Monkah> i dont complain about ur interspecies breeding habits
<goatus> for the last time, your mums ugly, but shes still human
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Quote: 123004; Rating: 321; [+|-]
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[WorkDeed] bahahaha
[WorkDeed] I just heard someone say "I measured the thermal conductivity of one of my loogies and..."
[KArmA-] isn't Berkley cool?
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Quote: 123044; Rating: 683; [+|-]
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<blake772> Dude, your sister is a bitch.
<o0sarsRus0o> i know, one time she was drunk and i took advantage of her to get her back
<blake772> WTF.. incest newbie. Bash.org
<o0sarsRus0o> omg if you do i will kill you
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Quote: 123088; Rating: 349; [+|-]
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<eTombotron> purges are an essential part of a healthy society
=-= eTombotron was booted from #homeworld by kally (ps everyone he never existed)
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Quote: 123097; Rating: 1244; [+|-]
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<virt> if i let fan-mail go to my head, i'd be some kind of bizarre demigod overlord of condescending zeal
<virt> "welcome to taco bell. can i take your order?" "SILENCE, PEON. I WILL CONSUME THREE CHEESY GORDITA CRUNCHES, AND YOU WILL PROVIDE THEM IN A VELVET CARRYING CASE LINED WITH THE FINEST LINEN PRODUCED IN ALL OF ASIA, AND YOU WILL DO IT BY THE TIME I DRIVE UP TO THE WINDOW OR YOU WILL PAY WITH YOUR INSIGNIFICANT
LIFE"
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Quote: 123109; Rating: 337; [+|-]
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<ruumis> this bitch I used to fuck with added me to her friendster list... what is my testimonial supposed to say for her? "gave good parking lot head. needs to talk less."
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Quote: 123115; Rating: -10; [+|-]
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<[-OsL-][Chibi]> hey eyesore
<[-OsL-][Chibi]> ur fav nigga is here :)
<eyesore> no he's not, he's out in the field. all i see is you, you dirty tar baby
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Quote: 123289; Rating: 245; [+|-]
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<caNcer_b0y> my boy just shit in the can for the first time :)
<route> lol congrats
<caNcer_b0y> its a HUGE step for him :)
<route> heh i can imagine
<dr_binks> how old is he?
<caNcer_b0y> 2.5
<dr_binks> see route, if a 2yr old can do it, why cant u?
<route> cause i like my nappy's
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Quote: 123311; Rating: 479; [+|-]
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narzy: can you throw in a filter that if it mentions bash its auto dumped?
Protected Identity: Haha
Protected Identity: No, I prefer the mods suffe
Protected Identity: r
narzy: ok, but don't be shocked if you get a jizzed on keyboard for X-mas...
Protected Identity: Dont be surprised if you get a punch in the face for new years
narzy: don't be supprised if you get your scrotum as a change purse for easter...
Protected Identity: Dont be surprised if your mod account gets locked in 5 seconds
narzy: oh shit, im sorry im sorry im sorry...
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Quote: 123318; Rating: 493; [+|-]
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<Robyn> If the spam I receive is representative of America, then there must be many fat women married to men with tiny penises.
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Quote: 123475; Rating: 289; [+|-]
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<-yptosis> But Kazaa is telling me freecondoms.com is having a blow-out extravaganza...
<-yptosis> That doesn't seem like it'd sell condoms very well... blow-outs are the last things I need...
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Quote: 123552; Rating: 204; [+|-]
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Dough Girl7777: my grandma is funny
CherryOnion1979: okay
Dough Girl7777: she tries to spoil me, but she has like no money, so she gives me plants
Dough Girl7777: and she gets all excited when she gives em to me
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Quote: 123562; Rating: 243; [+|-]
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<Swap_File> explosives + Lan party + flare gun = broken toilet, and report of "fireworks display" on the police radio
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Quote: 123569; Rating: 646; [+|-]
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<Swap_File> hey, how many PSI are blow up dolls inflated to, generally?
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Quote: 123586; Rating: 1038; [+|-]
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[Yaksha] At least I'll have my laptop with me at work ;)
[Heri] WOOOHOOO!
[Heri] No clitoris, though
[Yaksha] Clitoris?
[Heri] yeah you know... the little bump in the middle of the keyboard ;)
[Heri] you kinda have to tickle it to make it work
[Yaksha] lol
[Yaksha] I think that'd look kind of weird at work ...
[Yaksha] The computer starts beeping louder and faster ...
[Heri] LMAO LMAO LMAO
[Heri] then shoots a CDROM out of the drive
[Yaksha] LOL
[Yaksha] The monitor panel slowly falls into the closed position
[Heri] LMAO!
[Heri] then it smokes a ciggy?
[Yaksha] Nahh, it formats a floppy
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Quote: 123609; Rating: 412; [+|-]
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<maggie> how do i shut down my computer?
<uh> press start...
<maggie> no i want to SHUT DOWN! why does everyone tell me to click start...
<uh> ... you might as well just pull the power cord...
<maggie> uh but i also heard...
* maggie has quit irc (Error: connection reset by peer)
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Quote: 123660; Rating: 926; [+|-]
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<punchcard_w0rk> i think i will form a computer addiction recovery group.
<punchcard_w0rk> call it "users no longer enslaved to electronic technology"
<punchcard_w0rk> or UnLeet
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Quote: 123701; Rating: 317; [+|-]
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<+COokie|DLingZELDAmusic> damnit theres just not enough fat girl pron on kazaa
<+COokie|DLingZELDAmusic> i mean..zelda music...
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Quote: 123708; Rating: 4; [+|-]
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<@PCG|TMC_MusicmanTRS> ok... whats RIAA??
|
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Quote: 123711; Rating: 720; [+|-]
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MoonJuice: its amelia you dumb bitch
bryanvaim: you accidently typed "you" instead of "the"
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Quote: 123721; Rating: 544; [+|-]
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<Mutation> wow, only 260 quotes pending on bash...
<Mutation> i think its a sign of the end times...
<Mutation> when it hit's zero jesus returns to us in the form of a nigger joke
|
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Quote: 123724; Rating: 406; [+|-]
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[04:32] (%craigr000) WHAT THE FUCK
<%craigr000> FOR ONCE I'M HAVING AN EROTIC DREAM
<%craigr000> AND I AWAKEN TO MY FUCKIN MOM
<%craigr000> HITTING ME AND TELLING ME I HAVE TO SCRUB THE WALLS
<%craigr000> I MEAN IT'S OBVIOUS THE ONLY PLACE I'M GONNA GET ANY ACTION IN A LONG ASS TIME IS IN THE REALM OF SLEEP. THANKS MOM. THANKS A LOT.
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Quote: 123731; Rating: 280; [+|-]
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<@n3u> anyone here who like to scan my ports?
<@n3u> :)
<+MrX> is that a sly way of asking for cyber sex?
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Quote: 123767; Rating: 198; [+|-]
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<Foobar> /VoWeLCaPS! NoW You CaN TaLK LiKe WaReZ DooDS WiTH LeSS eFFoRT
<Palidor> foobar you have too much time on your hands
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Quote: 123859; Rating: 792; [+|-]
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Whiskey: u know that chick that u said was stalking u or somethign like a while ago?
XAsHeSX: hmm
XAsHeSX: no
XAsHeSX: i forget
Whiskey: u sent me a naked picture of her
Whiskey: cuz she was sending them to u
XAsHeSX: oh yea
Whiskeyinmy: i saw her today at walmart lol
XAsHeSX: i was in walmart today :-/
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Quote: 123881; Rating: 7; [+|-]
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<v_9>FUCK
<v_9>SHIT
<v_9>DAMNBITCHTOHELL
<v_9>i was just surfing throuh porn, then i was just stopped wanking it
<v_9>you know, going to a different url
<v_9>then all of a sudden,
<v_9>A FUCKING FLY LANDED ON MY MUSHROOM CAP
<v_9>THE SHIT HURT LIKE A MUHER FUCKER
<v_9>i mangaed to get a book real fast
<v_9>then made another mistake.
<v_9>i slammed the book right onto my shlong
<v_9>and part of the fly was dripping down to my balls.
<v_9>:/
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Quote: 123920; Rating: 304; [+|-]
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<Donut[AFK]> .. this is my new pickup line.
<@Meikai> Twitch.
<Donut[AFK]> "Hey, did I mention I have a single cock, and that it is of average size and shape?"
<Donut[AFK]> "Also, I have no STDs!"
<@Meikai> "Because I never get laid!"
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Quote: 123971; Rating: 270; [+|-]
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<nukem82> so, yesterday my msn contact list was full
<nukem82> and i decided it was time for a major purge
<nukem82> "anyone who i havent met in real life, is getting deleted"
<nukem82> bad mistake
<hyperm0rphz> .....
<nukem82> the only contacts online are my dad and my msn bot.....
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Quote: 124033; Rating: 388; [+|-]
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<Kaster> Here's a quesiton: if you could kill one person, and you were guaranteed you would not get caught, who would you kill and why?
<Tomekeeper> I would kill Pauly Shore. If anyone needs that explained they should be next on the list.
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Quote: 124130; Rating: 307; [+|-]
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<D`Kay> Hmm.. what would it be called where you take someone's phone number and get the address from it?
<Rail> Stalking.
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Quote: 124148; Rating: 212; [+|-]
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Mattbot80: The creepiest thing happened at work the other day i went to the bathroom and there was a female janitor cleaning it and i was like shit i'll have to come back later she sees me and says something in spanish i have no idea what she said but she had like an evil witch cackel a hispanic guy had walked in
behind me and told me she had invited me to go ahead it creeped me out
DaShizza: You seriously should have just whipped it out, did you really have anything to lose?
Mattbot80: Well i went the urinal and whipped it out thinking that's creepy but she wouldn't be able to see anything but my back but then she starts mopping around my feet and then she put the mop between my legs and hit my foot and i was like fuck this i'm gone i'll piss myself if i need to.
Mattbot80: It was the most akward momownt i've ever had in a bathroom
DaShizza: hahahha
i just showed my co-worker
hahah, thats hysterical
Mattbot80: Glad you enjoyed it this may very well cause deep emotional scarring and a phobia of public bathrooms or female janitors
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Quote: 124219; Rating: 300; [+|-]
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DDR Takumi: Search for 'Social Life' returned 0 results.
DDR Takumi: bah, what now
|
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Quote: 124241; Rating: 708; [+|-]
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<never> hey... question......
<never> i'm new to irc stuff and i'm trying to download mp3's through it
<never> know of any good servers? i've come up with irc.dal.net but that's it
<kirun> irc.riaa.org
<never> k thanks
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Quote: 124318; Rating: 307; [+|-]
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<MyKe> YEs, my uk,eybo;ard is o;ffilcilail.il.il.y...bro;uk,en (ilf yo;uk co;ukil.dp't teilil), so; IL wo;np' t be c'h;attilng mukch fo;r the next weeuk, ukntil the new o;ne co;mes. Do;np' t asuk.
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Quote: 124495; Rating: 148; [+|-]
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<GameOver> I hate the drop off services
<GameOver> "$0.60 a pound! (minimum $5)
<GameOver> So you'd have to have bags full of heavy clothes
<Jorenko> damn
<GameOver> It'd be nice to just take the bus to work, drop off at Spin Cycle, then grab them when I go home
<GameOver> It's a Wash 'n' Fold service, so they seperate and whatnot, too.
<GameOver> ... but then comes the question -
<GameOver> - Do I really want a strange Mexican touching my panties?
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