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Quote: 113142; Rating: 6; [+|-]
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(@niki-luv): those hurt my teeths
(@grimreap): maddox
(nuttso): only americans would have to provide the s
(nuttso): otherwise its assumed that you'll have more than 1 tooth
(nuttso): like canadians for example
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Quote: 113143; Rating: 11; [+|-]
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<Agent5> i hear gold is rare up in canada
<Agent5> sort of like finding a straight priest
* Agent5 (CUE LAUGHTER)
<Xenocide> lol
<FrEEk> lol
<Xenocide> i get it
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Quote: 113152; Rating: 139; [+|-]
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<Acidfreek> Last time I was pimped I ended up being banned from Sea World and I had Herpes
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Quote: 113195; Rating: 227; [+|-]
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<%Zero> then i broke my wrist in the growth plate twice
<%Zero> once snowboarding
<@mjc> ok.....
<%Zero> and a fat kid fell on me
<@Mike> ROFLMAO
<@mjc> hehehehehehehehehe
<%Zero> :(
<%Zero> it hurt
<%Zero> the kid was running
<%Zero> tripped on his shoe lace
<%Zero> and crushed me
<@Mike> lmao
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Quote: 113200; Rating: 599; [+|-]
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<Sketchee> I'm searching for porn and see one "Russian soldier"
<Sketchee> ... it wasn't porn!
<Grifter> o..kay
<Grifter> In Soviet Russia, the porn finds YOU!
<Sketchee> It was faces of death
<Grifter> What was it?
<Sketchee> The guy was being held to the ground
<Sketchee> And then they spliced his throat open
<Sketchee> And stuff was poring out
<Grifter> hm
<Sketchee> And there was screaming but most of that was from me
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Quote: 113211; Rating: 8; [+|-]
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<FoxBot> {MoxQuizz} The question no. 32 is:
<FoxBot> (Things) What is the fear of darkness known as
<Stonetree> africaphobia
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Quote: 113232; Rating: 360; [+|-]
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<Snowman>: if you had to describe me in 50 words or less, what would you say?
(i)alex: 50 words or lesss...
(i)alex: hmmm
(i)alex: is cock loving one word or two?
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Quote: 113234; Rating: 471; [+|-]
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<bunny> i thought NZ was bad
<bunny> you go to a US news site, and its like.. the same but like 10x bigger
<bunny> we have like one person accidentlly drove of a cliff
<bunny> they have three busloads drove off a cliff, when the driver of another car got out a machine gun and blew them to crap
<bunny> alllllllllways gotta be better eh?
<bunny> all followed by a penguin riding a tricycle
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Quote: 113297; Rating: 169; [+|-]
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<aen> I look somewhat akin to a pensive crackwhore waiting for cock suckage, vexed that it hasn't come to pass.
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Quote: 113308; Rating: 335; [+|-]
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<Gayo> Welsh phonetics baffle me. <Zaratustra> That's how the Welsh managed to survive. <Gayo> And that Welsh VERGEr wasn't much help either. <vecna> "Lets go conquer the Welsh city of .... er, fuckit.
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Quote: 113319; Rating: 617; [+|-]
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<Ratzilla> I rest my cake.
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Quote: 113333; Rating: 559; [+|-]
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<Zaratustra> I am an agnostic Jehovah's Witness. I knock on people's doors, but I'm not sure why.
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Quote: 113365; Rating: 204; [+|-]
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<Gayo> vecna was a swarthy pirate? <McGrue> Indeed. <McGrue> He has to mark 'Other' on the census, and fills in "Pirate: Swarthy" in the supplied field.
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Quote: 113367; Rating: 0; [+|-]
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[2:22p] quits.. YT[Ping timeout]
[2:24p] joins.. YT
[2:24p] (Orion) wb
[2:24p] (Phae) wb
[2:24p] (YT) you know when you get real excited and accidentally pull out a plug?
[2:24p] (Phae) haha
[2:24p] (YT) with your toe
[2:24p] (Phae) yeah
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Quote: 113403; Rating: 21; [+|-]
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<Wonderland> uhoh. <Gayo> ? <Wonderland> i seem to have glued 2 of my fingertips together with superglue <Wonderland> like..seriously. <Wonderland> i cant get them apart <Wonderland> OW <Wonderland> nm <Wonderland> ican
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Quote: 113409; Rating: 127; [+|-]
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<Radien> I give up. The PSO server is repremanding me like an angry Jewish mother-in-law played by Mike Meyers.
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Quote: 113418; Rating: 247; [+|-]
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<memo> I AM NOW TAKING REQUESTS REGARDING PRESSING SPECIFIC LETTERS OF THE ALPHABET AND THEN HITTING ENTER <memo> IF ANYONE WOULD LIKE TO REQUEST A LETTER PLEASE DO SO NOW AND I WILL TYPE IT
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Quote: 113423; Rating: 132; [+|-]
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<Locke> I went on an exciting box and pie adventure. <Locke> It wasn't nearly as sexual as it sounds.
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Quote: 113443; Rating: 87; [+|-]
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<`Hunter> Dutch tv sounds really shite, the only good stuff is what you steal off us :/
<RevMonsta> wtf your right
<RevMonsta> he is giving a sausage a blowjob
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Quote: 113511; Rating: 800; [+|-]
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<WoG> wanna play me in UT J?
<J_Dawg007> Sure, I just got it again. Gimme a few minutes to practice though, I need to learn to nut suck again.
<WoG> lmao
<J_Dawg007> Err... not*
<J_Dawg007> Great, I'm never gonna live THAT one down..
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Quote: 113520; Rating: 280; [+|-]
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<oR1on|Trivia> 6. What is a leech a type of?
<AuthSrev> woman
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Quote: 113533; Rating: 338; [+|-]
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<Beltz> This condom in my drawer, it's about to expire. Two weeks left! And those things last for 5 years.
<Dindrane> ... wow.
<Dindrane> Tell me it's a family heirloom or something, passed down?
<Mickster> Just tell me it's not used
<Dindrane> Ya, cuz keeping a used condom as opposed to a packaged one makes you more of a loser?
<Kyatoru> I'd say so. That's a disgusting trophy.
<Beltz> My last 2 or 3 were in my wallet for so long they eventually had holes all over them and were brown inside due to dust. I started carrying one in my wallet at all times due to my last near-sex experience. I have such a wild imagination.
<Dindrane> Beltz - I hear of people having near-deather experiences... but near-sex? Holy shiznit, man.
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Quote: 113578; Rating: 627; [+|-]
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<idiotdude>My mom's boyfriend gave me some magazines and one of them was an FHM from last month, and i pick it up and a penis enlargement ad falls out, and the order form is cut out and theres some notes scribbled on the bottom on how much it would cost plus shipping and handling
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Quote: 113589; Rating: 193; [+|-]
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Frost: :p
Frost: lol dood
Frost: my brother and his friend come home just now
Frost: and theres 5 kids coming up the street running
Frost: im like wtf
ape: lol
Frost: and he tells me they are chasing him and his friend
Frost: so i go out there like wtf fags what do you want
Frost: and they said my little brother and his friend hit some lady in the head with a rock and shes bleeding
ape: ROFL
Frost: man my brother is dumb
Frost: im gonna let them beat him up
ape: thats the funniest shit ive heard in a long time
Frost: :P
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Quote: 113632; Rating: 169; [+|-]
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<MKendora> Unfortunately, Win2k still needs electricity to run >_<
<JB> Heh.
<JB> Maybe for 2k5.
<Fancia> They fix that in Windows SG (Supar Gud), which runs on the power of pure dreams.
<Tagrineth> Hehehe ^_^
<JB> Well, we're all screwed.
<Tagrineth> But that probably still won't run on most people's comps
<JB> Anyone here besides Fancia have a pure dream in teh last year?
<Fancia> ;b
<Tagrineth> NOT ME
<MKendora> I have impure dreams.
<MKendora> I have purely violent dreams.
<Fancia> Well, they're thinking of expanding Windows PG (Perfikt Gud) to run on any dreams. ;o
<JB> That may help.
<JB> Methinks some of the dreams here may corrupt it, though.
<Fancia> True. ^.^;
<Tagrineth> LOL
<Fancia> "Windows received an Illegal Dream error! Please reboot!"
<Tagrineth> Hehehe
<Tagrineth> "*PLEASE* reboot... (sicko)"
<JB> Windows has committed suicide to remove the image form it's memory. Please order a new copy.
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Quote: 113653; Rating: 344; [+|-]
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<Catmando> I've never had an IDE cable with a hole like that
<Catmando> I've had floppy cables, but never IDE
<dealer_> youve never had sex with a girl, but that's not saying it doesnt exist
<narayan`> ouch
<ran_dogg|> i can't top that
<Catmando> well, I do have more experience with IDE cables than with women
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Quote: 113943; Rating: 1452; [+|-]
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* St-Lemur puts pasta next to antipasti
<KCaesar> You FOOL! You'll kill us all!
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Quote: 113949; Rating: 212; [+|-]
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<ph0rce> this is like turning into a war
<ph0rce> back like vietnam
<ph0rce> INCOMING NETSPLIT! GET THE FUCK DOWN
<ph0rce> INCOMING BOGIES INCOMING BOGIES
<ph0rce> RETURN FIRE
<ph0rce> *dos attack*
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Quote: 114068; Rating: 294; [+|-]
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<dj_enkie> im a good babysitter
<dj_enkie> the boy is older
<dj_enkie> e is like 8
<dj_enkie> and he will become me someday
<dj_enkie> i give him porn to not tell his parents that i drink their booze
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Quote: 114202; Rating: 781; [+|-]
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<typobox43> brb, grabbing a floppy dick
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Quote: 114332; Rating: 2332; [+|-]
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<Kazak> man I am bored, Im gonna try some weird shit
<Nash> uh oh
<Kazak> HOLY FUCKING BLOODY HELL!
<Nash> ?!
<Kazak> I PUT A STAPLE THROUGH MY DICK!
<Nash> HOLY SHIT!
<Nash> You really are a crazy bastard!
*Killer_jeep has joined the conversation.
<Kazak> good fucking hell this hurts LIKE HELL
<Killer_jeep> What?
<Nash> he put a staple thru his dick
<Killer_jeep> DEAR GOD
*Killer_jeep has left the conversation.
<Kazak> shit now I have to piss! Brb
<Nash> this can’t be good
<Kazak> BITCH ASS MOTHER FUCK!
<Nash> what happened!
*Darkness has joined the conversation.
<Kazak> the piss flew out of the staple holes
<Darkness> WTF!?
*Darkness has left the conversation.
<Kazak> I had to straddle the toilet to get it in!
<Nash> are you gonna go to the ER?
<Kazak> are you crazy? no fucking way
<Nash> well try pulling it out
<Kazak> I can’t it hurts like hell if I try!
<Nash> well it has to come out sooner or later.
<Nash> better off sooner, before anyone sees you.
<Kazak> GODDAM THIS HURTS
<Nash> its your own fault, you know.
<Kazak> shutup! augh this hurts!!!
<Kazak> GRGGRFFFFDJH~!!11
*Aaron has joined the conversation
<Aaron> whats up guys?
<Nash> The crazy bastard put a staple through his dick
<Aaron> FUCKING HELL
*Aaron has left the conversation.
<Kazak> THANK GOD!!! I got it out!!!
<Nash> right…what about the holes?
<Kazak> uhh…
*Malaina has joined the conversation.
<Kazak> I’ll have to cover my dick with band-aids.
<Malaina> what the hell are you talking about?
<Kazak> oh shit. Nash, don’t!!!!
<Nash> your boyfriend put a staple through his dick
<Malaina> FUCKING HELL YOU SICK BASTARD!
*Malaina has left the conversation.
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Quote: 114347; Rating: 1008; [+|-]
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<Skilless15> what's rtfm
<Skilless15> i forgot
<@avaxx> read the fucking manual.
<Skilless15> why
<Skilless15> you could just tell me
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Quote: 114352; Rating: 2213; [+|-]
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Spoon35: http://www.oddworldz.com/fmweekly/kellypinup.jpg
SenorWeird: who?
Momog: hehe
SenorWeird: who is that?
Momog: kelly hu = the wolverine chick from xmen
SenorWeird: Kelly who?
Spoon35: exactly!
SenorWeird: Kelly Exactly?
Momog: heh
Momog: it's a trap!
SenorWeird: Just tell me the chick's name. It's Kelly what?
Spoon35: Hu.
SenorWeird: ?!
SenorWeird: The chick you just posted a picture of!
Spoon35: Hu
SenorWeird: That's what I wanna know! Kelly who!
Spoon35: exactly!
SenorWeird: So it's Kelly Exactly!
* Marty11 Laughs in the strange confusion
Spoon35: Hu.
SenorWeird: The girl in the picture you posted is Kelly Exactly
Momog: Hu, Kelly.
Momog: HA!
SenorWeird: Yes, Kelly, Momog.
Spoon35: Kelly Momog??
SenorWeird: Kelly Exactly
Momog: doh
SenorWeird: Okay, you know what? Forget this.
SenorWeird: Let's talk about that hot chick in Mulholland Drive and The Ring.
SenorWeird: What's her name?
Momog: who?
SenorWeird: her name
Spoon35: Watts.
SenorWeird: yes, I think my question was quite clear.
Spoon35: Watts.
* Momog covers his ears and screams
SenorWeird: are you not understanding me?
SenorWeird: Who is the chick from The Ring?
Spoon35: I think I understand. you want to know Watts.
SenorWeird: Not What, who. Who is the chick from The Ring.
Spoon35: no, Watts is the chick from the Ring
SenorWeird: Who is?
Spoon35: no, she was in X2
SenorWeird: What?!
Spoon35: exactly.
SenorWeird: Exactly was in X2. okay.
SenorWeird: so then Who was in the ring?
Spoon35: Hu was.
SenorWeird: Who was in the ring?
Spoon35: no. Watts was in the Ring. Hu was in X2.
SenorWeird: Exactly. Now, let's get back to the Ring. What's that chick's name?
Spoon35: watts.
SenorWeird: okay, I'm lost.
SenorWeird: What's the name of the chick from X2?
Spoon35: no, Watts is the name of the chick from the Ring
SenorWeird: Forget about the ring. I don't want to hear about Who was in the ring.
Spoon35: watts
SenorWeird: Am I not clear? Who was in X2?
Spoon35: yes.
SenorWeird: Yes?
SenorWeird: Yes what?
Spoon35: Yes Hu! No Watts.
SenorWeird: ....
SenorWeird: What?!
Momog: i am logging this and using it as blackmail against you both
SenorWeird: oh, this is either genius or stupidity.
|
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Quote: 114358; Rating: 452; [+|-]
|
(maddox@) I just thought of a joke, I don't know if someone has already made this up, but here it goes: What actor would Christopher Reeve be if he could trade places with anyone? Christopher Walken
|
|
Quote: 114377; Rating: 181; [+|-]
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< Teratogen> Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon filled with backup tapes.
|
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Quote: 114413; Rating: 380; [+|-]
|
<NekoLocke|Runescape> What the hell? some girl offered me cybersex on Runescape in exchange for all the gold ore I had in my inventory. @_@
<Danny> now you do it be a man whore :P
<Eden99> LOL XD;
<Noval> Wow, a game with real hookers. That's inpressive.
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|
Quote: 114470; Rating: 640; [+|-]
|
* flathead has joined #zdoom
<Zack`> a dragon in thick, fluffy white diapers
<flathead> sounds like I missed one hell of a discussion here
|
|
Quote: 114610; Rating: 1065; [+|-]
|
Aaron|SYS> Hello
<Aaron|SYS> I am Aaron, a System Operator (SYSOP) for Mindspring
<Aaron|SYS> I will be monitoring the activities of Mindspring and Earthlink subscribers this evening
<Aaron|SYS> Have a pleasurable and enjoyable day or night!
*** Quits: Aaron|SYS (Killed (SFC (hi, I'm an ircoperator, and I will be regulating your activity monitoring)))
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Quote: 114622; Rating: 351; [+|-]
|
<Berrik> my goddamned school has fat cheerleaders
<Berrik> let me tell you something
<Berrik> there's only one half of a girl's chest I want to see jiggle when she jumps
<Berrik> and it ain't the bottom half
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Quote: 114724; Rating: 1125; [+|-]
|
* +ramoth4 slaps politik with an unsigned long double
* +politik comes back with a _uint64 uppercut
* +ramoth4 pulls out a struct and returns fire
* +politik corrupts ramoth's heap
* +Fire_Elemental-Coding- ducks to avoid leaked memory
* +politik pops Fire_Elemental-Coding- square in the stack
* +ramoth4 stuffs politik's face in the bitbucket, and begins to operate on nil pointers
* +politik throws uncatchable exceptions around the room
* +ramoth4 dodges skillfully with his try-catch block
* +politik cuts off ramoth's private member
* +ramoth4 encapsulates the wound in a protected class
* +politik destroys all foes with up-casts to inappropriate derived classes!
* +politik is out of ideas
* +politik :: ~politik();
* +ramoth4 declares flipcode his namespace!
<+ramoth4> I win!
* +ramoth4 beat C++.
<+ramoth4> The last guy was hard.
|
|
Quote: 114920; Rating: 501; [+|-]
|
<-M-> i went and bought a mint flavoured condom just to see what it tasted like
<-M-> i regretted it a lot when my bro walked in on me licking it
<exclamation> did u munch the jobe?
<-M-> i thiink he's gonna need more therapy than me
<BigKev> did u turn to your bro and say "well.....we were out of mints"
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Quote: 114988; Rating: 1064; [+|-]
|
(@zany-) omg, I can hear my mom masturbating :l
(@NpZ^) Ahaha
(@zany-) wai... she doesn't think I'm home
(@zany-) brb
(@zany-) great now I'm grounded
(@NpZ^) HAHA :D
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|
Quote: 115126; Rating: 77; [+|-]
|
<Thin-H-Line> what's the best thing about an ethiopian blowjob?
<Porn_Angel> what?
<SKS> wat?
<Thin-H-Line> you know she'll swallow..
|
|
Quote: 115192; Rating: 418; [+|-]
|
Whitetail deer18: Attention all pokemon card trainiers!!! I am starting up a internet membership where those who have card decks can play eachother over the net. Only catch is honesty about the types of cards you have.
Trazzy: attention all pokemon card trainers: GO GET LAID.
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Quote: 115217; Rating: 676; [+|-]
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[(chillin)] did u have sex with my penguin
[(AtTi2uDe)] say what? lol
[(chillin)] sex
[(chillin)] with my penguin
[(AtTi2uDe)] umm, no, don't think so?
[(AtTi2uDe)] lol
[(chillin)] are u sure
[(chillin)] cause i think u did
[(AtTi2uDe)] i think i didn't? lol
[(chillin)] well all the witnesses and evidence point to you
[(AtTi2uDe)] my wife would be jealous
[(chillin)] sir i dont think the penguin is any more ok with it than your wife is
|
|
Quote: 115370; Rating: 6; [+|-]
|
* @baafie creams over AngelPHiSH
<@AngelPHiSH> o_O
* @AngelPHiSH wipes up
<@james> that's parksie's job O_o
<@AngelPHiSH> a little warning next time please
* @james hides
* @AngelPHiSH slaps james gently
<@AngelPHiSH> also: repeatedly
<@james> :(
<@james> ;P
<@AngelPHiSH> wah now you made me think about parksie again >.<
* @AngelPHiSH snivels in her corner
<@AngelPHiSH> im so aloooooooonnnnnnnneeeeeee
<%Lioness> wahh wahh :oP
<%Lioness> Quit being emo
<@AngelPHiSH> sob sob
<%Lioness> It's been.....over 2 months for me.
<@AngelPHiSH> i cant help being emo!
<%Lioness> And I've still got 4 weeks to go.
<@AngelPHiSH> yes but YOU DONT FEEL PAIN LIKE I DO
<@baafie> That's because she doesn't do anal.
<@AngelPHiSH> O_O
<@baafie> ;P
<%Lioness> lollers
<@AngelPHiSH> wtf
<@a-arse[away]> lollerNOTFUNNEY
<@a-arse[away]> -e
<@AngelPHiSH> wtfwtfwtf
<@AngelPHiSH> i..
<@AngelPHiSH> O_O
<@AngelPHiSH> from cream to anal.. IN ONE EASY CONVERSATION!
<@AngelPHiSH> Just add baafie
<@baafie> ^_^
|
|
Quote: 115397; Rating: 180; [+|-]
|
<WiteRabit> the thing you gotta ask yourself is: do I really want snail shit on my face?
|
|
Quote: 115462; Rating: 284; [+|-]
|
<@B-Spider`> you young bastage
<@B-Spider`> your balls drop yet?
<@|Qc|Cutthroat> all 3 of them
<@|Qc|Cutthroat> to my surprise
|
|
Quote: 115468; Rating: 327; [+|-]
|
<Bendit> damn it, the cherries I bought yesterday are bad
<Bendit> cherry season is already over
<Bendit> :(
<Bendit> 1/3 of them seem to be almost rotting
<Bendit> and the rest have no flavour
<Bendit> there are so few things I like, WHY MUST THEY BE SEASONAL??!!?
<Bulk> ://
<omega> lucky for you cock isn't seasonal, so you may continue to enjoy it all year round.
<Bulk> im so glad you're in a good mood omega
|
|
Quote: 115471; Rating: 120; [+|-]
|
<ginzo_> my company sponsored a 50 Cent/Jay-Z concert
<ginzo_> on july 9th
<ginzo_> hahhaahhaha
<ginzo_> WE ROCK
<therdrai|> ginzo - what company is this?
<ginzo_> Cincinnati Bell
<therdrai|> oh
<therdrai|> are your CEO's and upper management gonna attend
<ginzo_> but i bet the pres will
<ginzo_> he's very into hanging out with africans
<therdrai|> ha
<ginzo_> PR trip or something
<therdrai|> yea
<therdrai|> so he can say "look i'm not racist, fifty cents is one of my best friends"
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