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Quote: 110038; Rating: 204; [+|-]
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<Allahkat> My wedding registry.
<Allahkat> http://shop.hbc.com/giftregistry/
<asshat> I know this is going to read stupid
<asshat> but why do you register
<asshat> to have people by you stuff??
<sueb[work> so people know what kind of gifts you want
<unchellmatt> To get swag, buddy!
<Allahkat> You register so people can buy you stuff that you picked out for your house.
<asshat> like an amazon wish list.
<unchellmatt> You get gifties!
<Allahkat> So you don't end up with ugly shit.
<asshat> ahh, I see.
<unchellmatt> That's going to happen anyway.
<Albatross> and so you don't get 20 food processors
<aeonite> You can do a lot of things with 20 food processors
<Allahkat> And 50 babies.
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Quote: 110204; Rating: 666; [+|-]
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<eva> In Thailand, Police believed a young girl committed suicide after getting stuck on a level of Bomberman.
<eva> ahhaha thats gold
<Spacecow> 09 Oct 02
<etoilet> i hate suicide bombers
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Quote: 110362; Rating: 76; [+|-]
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<ecoli> i think that drugging and assault are an important part of foreplay
<ecoli> yeah
<ecoli> like
<ettenyl> roofies will do that.
<ecoli> if i wanted something that would fuck me back, i'd bang a goat.
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Quote: 110428; Rating: 341; [+|-]
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(lupin) Animal Crossing bothers me. They give you an axe, they give you a
+shovel. They give you a vast expanse of tree-covered land. But they don't
+let you kill and bury people.
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Quote: 110431; Rating: 210; [+|-]
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(InkBlot) From CNN: Rumsfield: Turkey plans will go ahead.
(InkBlot) good to see Thanksgiving won't be canceled this year.
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Quote: 110510; Rating: 736; [+|-]
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<+DoomSooth> I went to Providence Middle School in Virginia.
<+DoomSooth> The cheerleaders had PMS in big letters on their uniforms.
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Quote: 110779; Rating: 198; [+|-]
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<dwerg> qiv -femitd 10 `find /home/giel/pr0n | egrep -v ("horse"|"animal")`
<dwerg> Heheh, oeps.
<giel> lol
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Quote: 110790; Rating: 65; [+|-]
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<turtletip> a seeing-eye dog was undressing me with its eyes, so I maced him
<turtletip> it got all frantic and ran its owner infront of a moving vehicle
<turtletip> pretty funny
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Quote: 111050; Rating: 501; [+|-]
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<tragic> canada is basically USA Expansion Pack
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Quote: 111167; Rating: 142; [+|-]
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- #sex unable to join channel (invite only)
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Quote: 111330; Rating: 751; [+|-]
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/* After a long long idle pause */
<c4_faker> ...silence is a form of consent...
<zeedo> so you can rape a mute woman legally?
<zeedo> nice
<c4_faker> hahahhahaa
<c4_faker> whats she gunna do...scream in sign language?
<c4_faker> :P
<zeedo> yeh, they call it "punching"
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Quote: 111338; Rating: 16072; [+|-]
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<JonJonB> Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book
<JonJonB> Let's see the results...
<JonJonB> "Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
<JonJonB> "Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything
<JonJonB> A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.
<JonJonB> "Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
<JonJonB> "Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. "
<JonJonB> Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls
<JonJonB> "Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"
<JonJonB> The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.
<JonJonB> He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.
<JonJonB> He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.
<JonJonB> Ok
<JonJonB> I have found, definitive proof
<JonJonB> that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all
<JonJonB> "Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want
to... or did he?
<melusine > O_______O
<JonJonB> Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang
<JonJonJonB> Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.
<JonJonJonB> 'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.
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Quote: 111427; Rating: 565; [+|-]
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<meeps> i saved a girls life tonight
<DJ-Quack> well meeps?
<meeps> this terrorist came around the corner and tried to kill her so i shot his head off
<DJ-Quack> omfg meeps
<hpr> lol :P
<meeps> hahaha
<DJ-Quack> you asshole
<DJ-Quack> ;[
<LawnMM> did he respawn?
<meeps> Yeah, next round
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Quote: 111522; Rating: 708; [+|-]
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<Squidwerd> *sings* Ooooooooo-oh supersadomasochistinecrobestiality, it's when you get a hard-on making Lassie a fatality!
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Quote: 111564; Rating: 536; [+|-]
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<arry75> hi
<Aethelwulf> ?
<arry75> asl pls
<Aethelwulf> Speak english
<arry75> age sex location please
<Aethelwulf> Why does it matter?
<Aethelwulf> 53 male Lituhuania
<arry75> just wannaknow k
<arry75> ok
<arry75> i m looking for a girl
<arry75> i hope u wont mind
<Aethelwulf> Try a place called "outside"
<Aethelwulf> I heard there is quite a few
<arry75> k
<arry75> thanks
<arry75> no body is there
<arry75> any way thanks
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Quote: 111569; Rating: 417; [+|-]
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* JuhorNieger slaps BlackWolf|Away around a bit with a large trout
* BlackWolf takes the trout out of Submerge's hands, and puts it back in the river. (Trout Saved: 96 ~~~><)))'>~~~><)))'>~~~)
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Quote: 111571; Rating: 405; [+|-]
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<Tonberry> MPs do the same thing on a military base as regular cops do in a city
<metaldark> harass blacks and skaters?
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Quote: 111587; Rating: 350; |
<tetsu2051> i wish i knew where my keyboard was..
<tetsu2051> oh ya...
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Quote: 111642; Rating: 587; [+|-]
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Tim Cline: im to lazy
Azu: so lazy that you can't but the second 'o' in too
Tim Cline: indee
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Quote: 111648; Rating: 92; [+|-]
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(@DarkJedi) i hate when people IM you for no reason
(@DarkJedi) i hate talking about nothing
(+chumpman) unless they are hot girls
(+chumpman) then it's like
(+chumpman) keep talking bitch, and maybe I can get inside your pants
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Quote: 111649; Rating: 71; [+|-]
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SlapsterMcFlash: you know what
Phatpandas: what?
SlapsterMcFlash: if you shake your penis long enough, some juice comes out of it
Phatpandas: some women drink that, i heard
SlapsterMcFlash: ewww..who drinks pea?
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Quote: 111791; Rating: 8; [+|-]
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<mibi> my sheets are so come stained and crusty its like sleeping on a crumpled origami blanket
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Quote: 111805; Rating: 646; [+|-]
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<netw3rkd> i was going through my parents dresser and found a sock full of weed and took some
<netw3rkd> oh shit my mom is behind me
*** netw3rkd has Quit (Connection reset by peer)
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Quote: 111835; Rating: 460; [+|-]
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*** Ettin|Succubi is now known as Moses
<Moses> /part #oceans
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Quote: 111854; Rating: -23; [+|-]
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CTCP VERSION reply from Khaled: eggdrop v1.6.15
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Quote: 111872; Rating: 467; [+|-]
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<siruv> FUCK!
<siruv> FUCK!
<pussydog> wats wrong?
<siruv> i just sent an email of porn pics to a friend
<siruv> got the email addy from my address book
<siruv> but "dad" is next to "dave"
<siruv> i chose "dad"
<siruv> didn't realise till after it was sent
<siruv> FUCK!
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Quote: 111888; Rating: 327; [+|-]
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-!- Hella has joined #hithere
<Hella> yo
<Hella> screem
<screem> hi hel
<Hella> yo set me Op
<screem> nah I won't
<Hella> why not?`
<Hella> you did before man
<sceem> yeh ... that was BEFORE you kicked everyone out becuz they didn't want to talk about their sexual fetishes
<Hella> Hey! I kicked them becuz they were swearing like don't-know-what - and they KNEW this is an PG-13 channel!
<screem> yah, sure
<compL33Tly> what r u guyz up to
<Hella> THEY DID SWEAR! I JUST KICKED THEM BECUZ THEY WERE SWEARING AND YOU KNOW I HATE SWEARING!
<screem> forget it bro
<Hella> NOW GODDAMN IT I WANT TO BE A FUCKIN OP BECUZ I THINK I CAN HANDLE THEM COCKSUCKING CUSSERS! OP ME BITCH!
-!- Hella has been kicked from #hithere (Reason: No Cussing allowed)
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Quote: 111996; Rating: 36; [+|-]
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<gothdaria> i'd suck on a dick longer if the guy didn't have hair
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Quote: 112010; Rating: 464; [+|-]
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<sampson> rad, that link crashed my browser in the middle of booking a flight
<sampson> EXCELLENT
<sampson> THANKS!
<aves2k> sorry if your browser doesn't support new Internet technologies
<aves2k> like JPG
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Quote: 112015; Rating: 146; [+|-]
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<aNuBiS-> Italians got it made
<aNuBiS-> The luxury of being tan, the convenience of not being black
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Quote: 112029; Rating: 222; [+|-]
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--- Hairball is now known as t3h_h0r5|3
<Enos_Shenk> teh horse?
<t3h_h0r5|3> horsie
<t3h_h0r5|3> lmfao
<Enos_Shenk> hah
<Enos_Shenk> no man
<Enos_Shenk> thats not leet
<Enos_Shenk> this is leet
>>> You(Enos_Shenk) are now known as my_l1ttl3_p0ny
<my_l1ttl3_p0ny> PHEEEEER
<youm0nt2> you mean ph34r
<my_l1ttl3_p0ny> oh yeah
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Quote: 112032; Rating: 543; [+|-]
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<Vamp_Boy> Arguing with the ops is like shaking your fist at God. There's nobody there; and if there is, he's not listening. And if he's listening, all you're doing is pissing him off.
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Quote: 112152; Rating: 57; [+|-]
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<IrCmOnKeY> if i had a girl she would have to be all into svcd-ts
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Quote: 112174; Rating: 137; [+|-]
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(Omnicronx): i overclocked my penis and it caught on fire
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Quote: 112326; Rating: 37; [+|-]
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<@Lathiat> mmm http://www.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,4057,6714208%255E15306,00.html
<evilgoat> who cares?
<evilgoat> http://www.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,4057,6710527%255E1702,00.html
<evilgoat> now thats news
<BenZor> rofl, this in an IT/ISP Geek channel
<BenZor> ipV6 vs Monkeys go on rampage.... and monkeys win.
<evilgoat> hell yeah
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Quote: 112373; Rating: 757; [+|-]
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<railor> then there comes this really hot nurse chick and i like get an instant hard-on
<railor> she asks me if i'm ok and leaves. i tell to myself "what a fine piece of ass!" so i grab my dick and start whacking off like mad
<HaiFlick> so you've started jerking off to that nurse after you had been drunk like hell and woke up in the hospital?
<railor> yeah, but then suddenly a woman next to me started crying really loud. i couldn't see her due to the curtain though
<HaiFlick> lol
<railor> turns out it was my wife
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Quote: 112614; Rating: 318; [+|-]
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<Shuichi-k> I learn something new everyday
<Shuichi-k> whether it be about norse religion or how far a man can stretch his ass
<Shuichi-k> ah, irc
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Quote: 112686; Rating: 181; [+|-]
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(oscarb) so uhm
(oscarb) a/s/l
(session_xo) 52/f/thailand
(oscarb) marry me
(session_xo) why?
(oscarb) because i like orange juice
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Quote: 112807; Rating: 604; [+|-]
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<Costilled> "I run Linux." T-shirts
<Costilled> availible in sizes L to XXXXL
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Quote: 112863; Rating: 221; [+|-]
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(ravnos) im 'ol schoo'
(misfit_) just because you computer is 7 years old and you have a dialup doesnt make you oldschool :P
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Quote: 112974; Rating: 152; [+|-]
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<HL|Batman> Sorry,
<HL|Batman> Trick or treeters.
<HL|Batman> I had to hide bodies.
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Quote: 113017; Rating: 935; [+|-]
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<hobbit> hey dude... are your ears burning?
<Dude> no
<hobbit> Ah... damn... I need to tweak my voodoo doll then.
<hobbit> Feeling any groin pain?
<Dude> heh no
<hobbit> hrm.... How about a scratchy throat?
<hobbit> something simple..
<Dude> nope
<hobbit> bah... the Book of E-Vile said this would work...
<Dude> i disabled remote access in controll panel
<hobbit> hrm.... that might be it.
<Dude> ya gotta be secure
<hobbit> hrm... lemme try something else... ::invokes the mighty god Hastur:: HASTUR HASTUR HASTUR!
<hobbit> Anything now?
<Dude> hmmm... i read uf nope
<hobbit> you missing your eternal soul?
* Dude checks
<Dude> it sez under properties it was never installed
<hobbit> bah
<hobbit> Now I have Hastur sitting in my living room demanding an eternal soul... and I'm fresh out..
<Dude> nice knowing ya
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Quote: 113023; Rating: 1015; [+|-]
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<`Sonny-Michaels> Oh good lord
<`Sonny-Michaels> As if www.mofo.com wasn't bad enough
<`Sonny-Michaels> You know the company Powergen?
<@Evil-PR-Director> uh oh
<`Sonny-Michaels> I'm told they're starting to move into Italy
<`Sonny-Michaels> Using the suffix Italia tacked onto the corp name
<`Sonny-Michaels> That's wrong in more ways than I want to think about
<@Evil-PR-Director> yeah...
<`Sonny-Michaels> Specially since they spelled it out for the url
<`Sonny-Michaels> http://www.powergenitalia.com/
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Quote: 113032; Rating: 1083; [+|-]
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<Inuyasha> Those guys at bash must have some sort of auto-accept system with quotes
<Inuyasha> Either that or the guys that approve them are both racist and blind
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Quote: 113106; Rating: 117; [+|-]
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<AH6969> that's univ. irvine
<AH6969> that college is like 60% azn
<SKID> I bet the parking lot is like a used Honda lot
<AH6969> there's a few expensive bmws and benzs in there
<SKID> yeah....those are the japanese kids
<SKID> and all the piece of shit cars with like dents and shit are the teachers cars
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Quote: 113108; Rating: 525; [+|-]
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<FFFFFFFF1> has anyone been sky diving?
<bobbles> i fell down some stairs
<bobbles> does that count
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Quote: 113110; Rating: 302; [+|-]
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<AfraidOfAmericans> I have money that smells like marijuana smoke
<AfraidOfAmericans> I am annoyed.
<Popples> I like the normal smell of money.
<AfraidOfAmericans> heh.
<AfraidOfAmericans> you mean cocaine?
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Quote: 113121; Rating: 20; [+|-]
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<moocow39>do you like to masterbate?
<beaverchild110>why are you asking questions like that?
<moocow39>do you really want to know?
<beaverchild110>yes tell me!
<moocow39>because i am a single horny 48 year old man thats why!
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Quote: 113123; Rating: 385; [+|-]
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<euphoria> we had drugs sex and rock and roll now all we have is aids crack and techno
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Quote: 113133; Rating: 219; [+|-]
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<PsychoDreameR> i want a good war script
<PsychoDreameR> when can i get one??
<placid> www.nato.com
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