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Quote: 107809; Rating: 956; [+|-]
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<Wheelman56> when i look back on what i just did to my dog i no longer wonder why i have no friends
<Jessi> what did you do to the poor thing
<Wheelman56> i took an empty cup and put it on my mouth and inhaled, therefore sticking it to my face
<Wheelman56> then i jumped up at down at my dog
<Wheelman56> waving my arms
<Wheelman56> and making bird sounds
<Wheelman56> ...
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Quote: 107853; Rating: 607; [+|-]
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<Kazz> I like how Unreal Tournament is way better than Unreal.
<Kazz> Like how Casablanca Tournament was better than Casablanca.
<Random-Guy> "In all the servers in all the clans...she had to join mine."
<Kazz> "Frag the usual suspects."
<SoulBain> "Damnit, you can flag cap for her you can do it for me."
<Kazz> "I am shocked, SHOCKED to find that camping is going on in this casino!"
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Quote: 107855; Rating: 366; [+|-]
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AoD> Hey. Would anyone here have paid money to kick Saddam out of power?
<dubuto> Sure.
<AoD> Pick a figure.
<dubuto> I heard the Iraq thing cost 63odd billion.
<AoD> What would it have been worth to you to get rid of him?
<AoD> OUt of your pocket.
<dubuto> Tough question.
<AoD> It cost us 220 dollars each.
<Meadow_Boxer> Ain't that some shit
<AoD> Could have been worse.
<AoD> Hell, at 220 dollars a pop, I'm game for another tyrant!
<Gavok> How much to eliminate Whoopie Goldberg?
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Quote: 107860; Rating: 782; [+|-]
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<HunterZero|Home> my microwave is growling at me
<Baastuul> take the baby out
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Quote: 107985; Rating: 547; [+|-]
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* EB eats a banana, really slowly
* SC finds that disturbing.
* eye too
* EB CHOMPS
<eye> O_O
<SC> uck.
* Reis gets an erection.
<eye> for some reason that makes my will yhurt
<EB> lol
<EB> I love doing that... especially when there are lots of people around. Eat your banana really slow. THen suddenly, go CHOMP
<SC> heh
<EB> And see how many guys wince.
<eye> you madam are evil!
<EB> yes, yes I am
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Quote: 108030; Rating: 220; [+|-]
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* angeliz she slowly moves her tongue into his mouth ...he loves it
[Beckham] angeliz?
[Petrock] wrong room?
*** angeliz has left #highveld
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Quote: 108107; Rating: 498; [+|-]
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<axi0m> dude
<axi0m> i didnt just cut it
<axi0m> I fucking
<axi0m> lodged the casing of the hdd into my finger
<axi0m> i had to yank it out
*** faze changes the topic to '*** Joins: axi0m ([email protected])
<faze> were u termperarily able to access your harddrive via your circulatory system
<faze> or am i watchin to many tv shows =
<axi0m> yea dude
<axi0m> it was l33t
<axi0m> then I jammed a cat5 cable up my ass and accessed the matrix
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Quote: 108216; Rating: 756; [+|-]
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iHeartDonKnotts: So Tuesday we go to Fry's
iHeartDonKnotts: And I buy a few CD-Rs
iHeartDonKnotts: Rick buys Half Life Platinum Pack, despite all of us urging him not to
iHeartDonKnotts: And Mo fucking steals two hard drives, a 9700, and an mp3 player
cyateon: wtf
iHeartDonKnotts: I know!
iHeartDonKnotts: Fuck, Rick, I'll burn it for you!
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Quote: 108391; Rating: 344; [+|-]
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AndrewLB: The term "What the fuck" might apply here.
AriaStargazer: Would it? :o
AndrewLB: My computer crashes, and now windows claims it's January 1st 1980...
CrossAlkaid: Your computer is fondly remembering when you weren't born yet.
AndrewLB: One sec, I'm going to go out and buy as much stock as I can before time re-asserts it's self.
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Quote: 108493; Rating: 289; [+|-]
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<dts|sKratch> get a serial ata drive
<dts|Oleander> www.shitsex.com
<dts|Oleander> wait
<dts|sKratch> it plugs into pci
<dts|Oleander> wrong link
<dts|Oleander> ahha
<dts|sKratch> HAHAHA
<dts|sKratch> gg clipboard
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Quote: 108527; Rating: 378; [+|-]
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<Sargasm> It must be a bitch to write your name in the snow in Arabic
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Quote: 108596; Rating: 148; [+|-]
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--> Globulus ([email protected]) has joined #c
* Globulus why they ban me from #china all I say is "ME CHINESE ME MAKE JOKE ME PUT PEE PEE IN YOUR COKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
--- qball sets ban on *!*@*.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com
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Quote: 108597; Rating: 298; [+|-]
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<Sageous> I had a dream that i met michael jackson and he held my hand while we talked for about 10 minutes....i woke up feeling like i understood all the weirdness about him...but then it faded like dreams do and now i cant understand him again.
<Miss_P> i'd be more worried about him holding your hand if i were you
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Quote: 108598; Rating: 109; [+|-]
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<Harri> see, i need some kind of rig where i can just think what i want to type
<pinball_dreams> then we'd get loads of sick man-love talk though...and you'd be well and truly caught out once more...
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Quote: 108609; Rating: 56; [+|-]
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<sta-hi> its too bad that i really like their voices... at least the end
result after mixing, and that i have an affinity for russians...
<sta-hi> tatu is just too dumb to fit my perceptions.
<sta-hi> they confuse me.
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Quote: 108614; Rating: 532; [+|-]
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<ChopLogik> ie ergo vis-a-vis concordantly ex thusly betwixt!
<Brass> Chop: You missed a "therefore" and a "etc."
<ChopLogik> well i didnt miss YOUR MOM WITH A HUGE LOAD OF SEMEN
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Quote: 108617; Rating: 216; [+|-]
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<ChopLogik> Girls are like voltron, the more you stick together, the better it gets.
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Quote: 108629; Rating: 172; [+|-]
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<vasquez> whatever happened to that terron fellow?
* wabbit points to jeff0r
<DragonLord98> he died
<DragonLord98> he got in a car wreck
<DragonLord98> he got thrown through the windshield
<DragonLord98> into oncomming traffic
<vasquez> aww
<DragonLord98> and hit by a church bus
<vasquez> HAHA
<vasquez> i knew that religion bull would kill him in the end
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Quote: 108630; Rating: 244; [+|-]
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Aegis> bah
<Aegis> I'm out of pop
<Aegis> and I don't have enough sugar to make koolaid
<Aegis> sec, I'm gonna go melt some freezies into a glass
<Mazrim> store run?
<ameh> lol
<Aegis> Maz: Not while male ingeunity can still prevail
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Quote: 108657; Rating: 79; [+|-]
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[Pete] pulling out the bad HD now.
[-QUIT-] - Pete[[email protected]] - smeg.hub.us.striked.org devil.bc.ca.striked.org
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Quote: 108679; Rating: 106; [+|-]
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(killjoy) adora; still. women have things like continous orgasm, multiple orgasms, etc etc... i'm sure something's bound to trigger.
(Adora) not if you're good
(Adora) i mean, really good. If you had teh skillz.
(killjoy) i'd rather give her a multiple orgasm then one big one ;p
(mibi-drunk-on-life) id settle for a light moan
(Adora) i suppose you could kill a hour or so with some (now legal) texan buttsex and master/slave play...
(mibi-drunk-on-life) adora can i pm you?
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Quote: 108694; Rating: 114; [+|-]
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<prence> i wonder if that time i choked on a popsicle meant i deep throated it
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Quote: 108702; Rating: 5; [+|-]
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* Joins: |scott| ([email protected])
<|scott|> is anyone here
<|scott|> damn this sucks
<|scott|> i feel like a homeless 88 year old
<|scott|> i shit my pants in Wallgreens today
<|scott|> looked like pancake syrup was coming out of my ass
<|scott|> wtf is wrong with me
<|scott|> :(
<|scott|> i hate my ass
<|scott|> its getting back at me for all the spicy food i eat
<madman`> sick
<[mizi]> scott you're like a child.
<[mizi]> what the hell is wrong with you
<obs1d1an> ack dude
<obs1d1an> better learn some fuckin muscle control son
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Quote: 108710; Rating: 23; [+|-]
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<Exor> SHOIT
<kevin> hahahahahahaha
<Exor> yea ive been thinking british lately
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Quote: 108711; Rating: 851; [+|-]
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+(norad) if you rearrange the letters in mother in law, you get woman hitler :/
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Quote: 108714; Rating: 164; [+|-]
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Jpfan01 :if guys didn't have orgasms sometimes like women did
Wolf3055 :that would suck
Jpfan01 :we'd be killing entire city blocks
Jpfan01 :and rioting
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Quote: 108730; Rating: 254; [+|-]
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<RjT> I just fucked a chipmunk
<Osmosis> erm
<RjT> ah shit wrong window
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|
Quote: 108825; Rating: 280; [+|-]
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(@^duckman^) shit i ate soap brb
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|
Quote: 108997; Rating: 101; [+|-]
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<oDDY> did u take a picture :(
<oDDY> of ur new shirt :(
<OoROng> nah
<rcg> your shirt won't be new by then
<rcg> so you can't take a picture of it
<OoROng> it'll still be semi-new :D
<OoROng> technically, i'vehad it like a month
<OoROng> but i haven't had the balls to wear it out
<rcg> what's it say?
<OoROng> VVVVVVVVVVVVVV
<OoROng> VVVVVVVVVVVVVV
<OoROng> VVVVVVVVVVV
<oDDY> ...
<OoROng> it's a fishnet shirt
<oDDY> ooo!
<oDDY> sexy X_x
<rcg> oh
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|
Quote: 109111; Rating: 493; [+|-]
|
<Thel> "You have just recieved the Amish Computer Virus. Since the Amish don't have computers, it is based on the honor system. Please delete all the files from your computer. Thank you for your cooperation."
* SephirothTheOneWingedAngel ([email protected]) Quit (gryphon.magicstar.net starship.magicstar.net)
* SporkBad ([email protected]) Quit (gryphon.magicstar.net starship.magicstar.net)
* Sir_Spankspeople ([email protected] Quit (gryphon.magicstar.net starship.magicstar.net)
* Ace|werk ([email protected]) Quit (gryphon.magicstar.net starship.magicstar.net)
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Quote: 109225; Rating: 253; [+|-]
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<S|ip> if I wanted to see scenery I'd go to google. Like, I know the resolution would be better if I actually decided to go hiking, but I'd have to get up...
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Quote: 109230; Rating: 211; [+|-]
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<Firestorm-> my parents
<Firestorm-> lol
<Firestorm-> they walked in on my once
<Firestorm-> that.. sucked.
<Firestorm-> seriously
<Firestorm-> nope
<Firestorm-> they walked in, screamed, left.
<Firestorm-> and I continued
<Hinkey> you continued after they left?
<Hinkey> you sick fuck
<Firestorm-> yes Hinkey I finished up.
<Firestorm-> and then I screamed at them
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Quote: 109270; Rating: 324; [+|-]
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<Melkor> ===== Question 9518/10000 =====
<Melkor> the chinese ideograph with two women under one roof means what?
<Melkor> Hint: @@@@@@@
<Xylus2> incest
<UltraSSJ> free porn
<Xylus2> lesbian
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Quote: 109288; Rating: 85; [+|-]
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<s_> well
<s_> i have button and string shorts
<troop> I'll bet
<s_> and its hell to go to the bathroom
<s_> so i just lift my short leg up
<s_> and pee out the side
<troop> lol
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Quote: 109297; Rating: 34; [+|-]
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<+sampson> i'm such a fag i setup winxp to look like osx
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Quote: 109306; Rating: 259; [+|-]
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<Phylitsa> bath, brb
<Kiz> videotaping innocent teenagers. brb
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Quote: 109330; Rating: 345; [+|-]
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* meek has joined #8-bit.theater
<meek> 3600 penises
* meek has left #8-bit.theater
<CanNinja> That was random.
<BrvFencer> That was meek.
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Quote: 109334; Rating: 197; [+|-]
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* CanNinja masturbates.
<OB1> .......
* OB1 turns around
<CanNinja> It's not like I'm spraying you in the face or anything.
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Quote: 109345; Rating: 229; [+|-]
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<Phylitsa> Woo hoo! One girl and 7 unidle guys!
<Phylitsa> Lets play "Spin the Attention Whore"
<Novasol> Sounds like a gangbang waiting to happen
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Quote: 109376; Rating: 808; [+|-]
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<@deez> yeah there's like 6 of us... with the same sense of humor in here
<Skail> who's using it now?
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Quote: 109385; Rating: 278; [+|-]
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<@Phae> we could get a hooker, and patch it with a gf crack... then it'd be free,a nd you wouldn't have to register it
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Quote: 109501; Rating: 268; [+|-]
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<drag-n> system uptime: 16h43m40s
<drag-n> the sad thing is
<drag-n> i've been at the pc the whole time.
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|
Quote: 109531; Rating: 65; [+|-]
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<klafka> it's a sign your an irc nerd
<klafka> if a song makes you want to type
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|
Quote: 109533; Rating: 22; [+|-]
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<KeeperX> if i say anything nonsensical
<KeeperX> i'm cleaning my keyboard
<KeeperX> sjkl;'
<KeeperX> fvgbhnjkl;'ccfvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvb n bvcxzxcvbbnm,./,mnbvcxzAsdfghjkl;';lkjhwqwertyuioip['
<KeeperX> k
<KeeperX> i'm done
<KeeperX> there were pubes in my keyboard
<KeeperX> i dunno how they got there
<Todd> sick
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Quote: 109611; Rating: 159; [+|-]
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<Rowdy> Do ppl even test this shit?
<Rowdy> Bloody FreeBSD. It was better when it was elite and there were no fucking n00bz submitting lame ports.
<Rowdy> I may have to switch to OpenBSD, just to be snooty.
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Quote: 109624; Rating: 667; [+|-]
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<uTi|Veridian> my HLTV tops out at about 30 people - then lags like your mom
<cyde> so tell me... if i used my mom in conjunction with your server... could we top 60?
<uTi|Veridian> can your mom handle 30 teenage boys?
<cyde> the question is....can 30 teenage boys....handle my mom?
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Quote: 109801; Rating: 132; [+|-]
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<caesium> dude, like 2 years ago.. i was on the great canadian mine buster at wonderland and my tits were osciallting in a very unflattering way.. since then, ive known i needed to loose weight.
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Quote: 109855; Rating: -1; [+|-]
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<Shads> fuk owning a honda
<Shads> thats the same as addmitting u have a small penis
<Shads> :/
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Quote: 110000; Rating: 340; [+|-]
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<scanline> What's the past tense of netsplit? netsplat?
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Quote: 110001; Rating: 220; [+|-]
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<splice> a duran, a thomson twin, eddie money, huey lewis, and keith richards
<splice> get those clowns together and you've got cocaine voltron
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