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Quote: 86012; Rating: 192; [+|-]
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<revmoo> well
<revmoo> msg nexis
<revmoo> maybe he is one of those nerds that has his shit set to wake him up in the middle of the night if someone pm's him :P
<Geoff-> LOL
<Geoff-> hey
<Geoff-> i used to have that
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Quote: 86017; Rating: 299; [+|-]
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<][blah][> i mean, are there any downloadble cd burners?, or do you need hardware?
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Quote: 86019; Rating: 488; [+|-]
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<Desert_Storm> crap..
<Desert_Storm> just woke up in front of PC again :(
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Quote: 86028; Rating: 264; [+|-]
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GGamoGamo: The unofficial newspaper of the college my friend went to was investigated by the Secret Service once
Wintyr Feanim: why?
GGamoGamo: For printing an editorial called "Jesus, please strike down Geroge W. Bush"
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Quote: 86029; Rating: 270; [+|-]
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<Acero> my parents never bought me candy for shit because my moms a dental assistant
<Acero> so i'd have to hide candy like drugs
<Acero> thats how i got so good at it
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Quote: 86049; Rating: 15; [+|-]
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<Squinky> Where the hell is sumez.
<Jim> Using an anonymous vagina, as are most Danish guys.
<Squinky> Do they not have VD there or something?
<Jim> They are VD.
<Squinky> So it's really Danish guys ravaging my penis right now?
<Jim> Most likely...Did you stick it into a Danish girl?
<Squinky> I think I used a breakfast danish to masturbate the other day...
<Jim> Pff, obviously that's what it is.
<Jim> You're supposed to use AMERICAN pie.
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Quote: 86054; Rating: 79; [+|-]
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<+{R3D}Hurricane> Fly Delta. Cause everyone else is bankrupt.
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Quote: 86057; Rating: 211; [+|-]
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<Dr SpaZZo> A Reese's Peanut Butter Puff going directly down your throat is a LOT more painful than one might imagine.
TwilightKnight jots that down
<TwilightKnight> thanks
<Dr SpaZZo> No problem.
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Quote: 86059; Rating: 411; [+|-]
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<CrossAlkaid> I'm going to make myself a son out of all the Kleenex I have in a pile by now.
<CrossAlkaid> Then I'll kill him, because the law makes no provisions for people made of Kleenex.
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Quote: 86065; Rating: 497; [+|-]
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<CommanderStab> Man, all of these supposed "free PHP hosting" sites and not one of them is any good >_<
<CommanderStab> WTF?
<Riku> o.o
<CommanderStab> Hungarian?!
<CommanderStab> These guys actually have INTERNET?!
<CommanderStab> Man, I can't read this shit >_<
<CommanderStab> I have the greatest idea for a site
<CommanderStab> Say that we ofer 1000mb of fre PHP hosting
<CommanderStab> Then when they submit their information we keep their password and username and don't give them a site
<CommanderStab> Then we build a massive database of usernames and poasswords
<CommanderStab> Then we create a program to goes to every site on the itnernet that requires a password and get it to try all of the user/passes we have on every site
<CommanderStab> Then we blackmail the people because no doubt some of the sites are like sick porn sites and we'll have their email addresses
<CommanderStab> And we use the money that we get out of the blackmail to actually BUY some decent hosting
<CommanderStab> So I don't have to keep looking through all this shit
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Quote: 86095; Rating: 238; [+|-]
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* inkedmn is BORED
< jbm> inkedmn: drink beers. fuck wife.
< inkedmn> jbm: no beer/money, wife's at work
< jbm> uh. got any pets?
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Quote: 86099; Rating: 422; [+|-]
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<Arrgh> great.. now he's trying to vomit in my shoe
* [TMBJ]Rhadamanthus happydances
<Arrgh> he called it a "vomit capture device"
<[TMBJ]Rhadamanthus> Throw something at him
<Arrgh> like what? my shoe?!
<Arrgh> HE ALREADY HAS IT
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Quote: 86100; Rating: 963; [+|-]
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Soca: God damn fucking neighbors and their dog need to die
Soca: I just tore up my front lawn with my truck trying to piss them off. I hope it worked.
drnick: you tore up your own lawn trying to piss of the neighbours
drnick: hmm wheres the logic in that
Soca: Well, I made a lot of noise in the process
Deltan: Yea the joke's really on them with that one
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Quote: 86104; Rating: 613; [+|-]
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<fade> i need to find the stupid adapter now
<Queued> If I had a stupid adapter, I could understand the other half of the channel
<Petter[web]> I resent that.
<Queued> I understand.
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Quote: 86115; Rating: 659; [+|-]
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<LinkDJ> At prom, me and Julea were dancing, and a song came on that I recognised. We're dancing, and halfway through I get a big smile on my face.
<LinkDJ> It turns out it was a song from DDR.
<LinkDJ> I think i've told that much here before
<LinkDJ> What I didn't mention: I started doing finger combinations on her ass.
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Quote: 86186; Rating: 553; [+|-]
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<SJr|Tecra> I'd shit my pants if my girlfriend said she was pregnant.
<robb> i'd shit my pants if you had a girlfriend
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Quote: 86199; Rating: -185; [+|-]
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<[TMBJ]Harrison> I love bash.org. All I have to do to be funny is copy/paste. :)
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Quote: 86204; Rating: 254; [+|-]
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<pengo> i dont really care if i'm not normal.. so long as i'm abnormal within the normal range of abnormality.
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Quote: 86218; Rating: 1761; [+|-]
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<NuclearisWinterius> "Without the USA there would be no France, just a greater Germany" and the guest on the show said "Without France, there would be no USA, just a greater England"
<Method> hurray for france!
<Method> without england, there'd be no USA, just a really big canada where they all spoke french.
<Method> i don't know what's worse
<ari> Without Finland, there would be no IRC and this pointless discussion would not be taking place :p
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Quote: 86224; Rating: 455; [+|-]
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<Dirtbiker> howd all of u learn how to do this crap?
<@nomis> hit f1
<@nomis> frequently
<Dirtbiker> in here?
<@nomis> in flash
<Dirtbiker> but thats the shortcut to help
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Quote: 86228; Rating: 279; [+|-]
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<ksennin> "Do the girls have to shave their asses?"
<ksennin> [x] Yes
<ksennin> [ ] Yes
<FT> ksennin: Your definition of 'great' tends to be weird.
<TripleRach> Shave, what
<FT> Try "Shake"
<ksennin> Oh shit.
<ksennin> Yes, "Shake"
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Quote: 86232; Rating: 775; [+|-]
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<Jeff> I'm such a ditz, I dialed my phone number into the microwave
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Quote: 86246; Rating: -295; [+|-]
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<Enchi|ada> Martin Luther King is a holiday because it is symbolic of the propensity of black people's laziness and unwillingness to work.
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Quote: 86247; Rating: 26; [+|-]
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<timmo> tim would rather fuck a woman who doesnt know what the hell irc is
<c-rOCK> fuck that
<c-rOCK> i want a hottie who can irc it up.
<c-rOCK> and i wanna be like
<c-rOCK> yeah im a mod on bash.org
<c-rOCK> hop on my dick now slut.
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Quote: 86371; Rating: 839; [+|-]
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<Afbc0m> my 3 yr old bro is here
<Afbc0m> he was listening to eminem and started swearing
<Afbc0m> my mom was pissed
<Afbc0m> in the middle of dinner, he was like, "bitch please, get down on yo knees"
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Quote: 86390; Rating: 464; [+|-]
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<[KS]> this one time... at lan camp.. i stuck cat5 up my pussy
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Quote: 86407; Rating: 774; [+|-]
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<Snow> If Grand Theft Auto isn't mankind's greatest invention, I don't know what is.
<Snow> I just flew around the city in an Apache attack helicopter firing missiles and random cars. And when I got bored of that, I stole some guys motorcycle, rode 120mph across town to a nightclub, where I picked up $10,000, walked inside, and fired a minigun into the crowd, liquifying everyone inside.
<Snow> And then I picked up a new suit and went home and called it a day.
<dano> i love how accurate its portrayal of the 1980s night-life is
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Quote: 86421; Rating: 188; [+|-]
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<CodeMason> I never sleep.
<CodeMason> I just lapse into alcohol-induced catatonia on a regular basis.
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Quote: 86444; Rating: 213; [+|-]
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<Dynamo> Do that again, and I will switch your testicles with your eyes.
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Quote: 86452; Rating: 286; [+|-]
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<n3wt> FFS, I am not reading anything with 'The Naughty Goat' in the title
<n3wt> Not unless it has pictures, anyway
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Quote: 86683; Rating: 445; [+|-]
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<Resident_Redneck> The Canadians commited three warships, 1000 soldiers, and 10 tanks to the war effort...but due to the exchange rate, it works out to be a mountie, a moose, and a flying sqirrel.
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Quote: 86848; Rating: 1656; [+|-]
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<cali310> I heard the most ridiculous comment ever made by a newscaster last night on fox........
<cali310> He said, "the Iraqis have hundreds of seasoned suicide bombers"
<cali310> How in the fuck does one become a seasoned suicide bomber?
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Quote: 86903; Rating: 250; [+|-]
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<Uday_Williams> Know what'd be messed up? If one of Saddam's doubles turned good, and then was appointed to run the country. Bet that'd confuse alot of people.
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Quote: 86960; Rating: 986; [+|-]
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<qp_zulrich-EE> both hitler and bush got the power... only one had a brain D:
<samurai> bush has a brain
<samurai> its just really really small
<V|JFreak> dude
<V|JFreak> he WAVED at stevie wonder.....
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Quote: 86961; Rating: 519; [+|-]
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<Bugaboo> So I was in the halls today, some jerk yells "I wanna fuck your dad"
<Bugaboo> I shout back "hes dead"
<Bugaboo> moment of ackward silence, as they think of what to do
<Bugaboo> It made up for all the grief I had at killing the old guy.
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Quote: 87022; Rating: 1127; [+|-]
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<chodapp> Girls don't have penises, xooz98
<xooz98> chodapp - i thought that too UNTIL I GOT KAZAA
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Quote: 87023; Rating: 446; [+|-]
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<ocelot> I've lost my only spoon
<ocelot> how do you lose ANYTHING in a 11,4 square feet room???!?!
<Adam_H> ocelot: there is no spoon
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Quote: 87064; Rating: 260; [+|-]
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Brandon2W: i had a dream that i was talking to someone, but she had a little AIM window next to her head, and i just read what she said there and typed back to her what i would have said
Brandon2W: i need therapy
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Quote: 87072; Rating: 88; [+|-]
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<WorstQEvr> buying douches over the internet is like the epitome of shady
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Quote: 87369; Rating: 1985; [+|-]
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<Dream Caller> CNN - Three teenagers beat a mentally retarded man to death.
<Striker> $5 says they blame it on video games
<Adventurer> Yeah we all know that popular game where you kill retards (/sarcasm)
<Thrasher> You've obviously never played counterstrike then.
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Quote: 87490; Rating: 475; [+|-]
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<Leon> lol @ The Register
<Leon> Schools use SMS to fight truancy
<Leon> Oi u ltl sh*t, get bk 2 skool now
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Quote: 87517; Rating: 1346; [+|-]
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<Cotton Mouth> How do you describe the color blue to someone who is blind and has never seen a color before?
<NickBlasta> 0 0 255
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Quote: 87577; Rating: 115; [+|-]
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<shok> what is the average life expectancy of a Saddam look alike ?
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Quote: 87585; Rating: 1707; [+|-]
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<s4xton> "fo shizzle ma nizzle" is a bastardization of "fo' sheezy mah neezy" which is a bastardization of "for sure mah nigga" which is a bastdardization of "I concur with you whole heartedly my African american brother"
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Quote: 87611; Rating: 1205; [+|-]
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<BorD> What If Saddam Hussein survived the bombing last week, but lost a leg... How pissed-off do you think his doubles are?
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Quote: 87652; Rating: 308; [+|-]
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<spikeo.> a part of me wishes everyone could have seen that
<spikeo.> and another part of me doesnt
<spikeo.> ok i have really itchy pubic wig atm (not lice, before you ask)
<spikeo.> so i tried my clippers on it
<Gecko`> that part being your ELBOW
<spikeo.> didn't realise they don't *do* long hairs
<spikeo.> and my fucking shaver got tangled to my crotch
<spikeo.> and was trying to kill me
<Emmeh> rofl
<Rel^Slacking> lol
<spikeo.> i was like bicentennial man
<spikeo.> or kryten trailing his groinal attachments
<spikeo.> i can laugh now
<spikeo.> but
<spikeo.> NO BABIES FOR ME
<spikeo.> :'(
<Rel^Slacking> Thats prolly a good thing
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Quote: 87684; Rating: 1104; [+|-]
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<bhlaab> One time in high school I was talking to a girl who was SUPER NAZI feminist, and she was going on and on about the double standards against women in society, and how men have no double standards against them.
<bhlaab> That's when I brought up the fact that lesbians are looked upon as "fine", wheras gay men are always getting the complete <censored> beat out of them for no reason. She got pissed off at this comment, and snapped at me "What, are you a fag too or something?!"
<bhlaab> Go equal rights!!
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Quote: 87705; Rating: 168; [+|-]
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<Qube> wowzz: try putting each servers ip and name in /etc/hosts
<wowzz> where is /etc/hosts
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Quote: 87725; Rating: 593; [+|-]
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<burn_prom_girl> our frigde is outside because we got our kitchen tiled
<burn_prom_girl> and its in a puddle of water
<burn_prom_girl> thats bad right ?
<burn_prom_girl> and i shouldnt step in the water around the frigde ?
<burn_prom_girl> its plugged in
<ikari> water doesnt conduct electricity
<ikari> it's an urban myth
<ikari> go dance in the puddle
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Quote: 87741; Rating: -97; [+|-]
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<Stolurn> i was walkin home last night and i could suddenly smell KFC, and i was like mmmm, where's that comin' from?
<Stolurn> i look around and this black guy rides past, then the smell goes away
<Stolurn> bash.org was right :)
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