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Quote: 49317; Rating: 360; [+|-]
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<CommanderStab> ARGH
<CommanderStab> It just dawned on me that the "pen" I was chewing was actually a pair of scissors @_@
<CommanderStab> It dawned on me when I cut my lip on them >_<
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Quote: 49322; Rating: 52; [+|-]
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<Lestat> I should invent a way to make porn into music.
<Matrix_McCloud> yes
<Lestat> So you could be rocking out and looking at porn at the same time.
<Matrix_McCloud> oh
<Lestat> By like, rocking out to porn.
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Quote: 49323; Rating: 350; [+|-]
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<CoRDS> there is a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.
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Quote: 49325; Rating: 37; [+|-]
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<FatZZ> sif vinc, you were just so uncool that even the magic players rejected you ;)
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Quote: 49326; Rating: 168; [+|-]
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<red_one> fear the wrath of the sexually frustrated op.
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Quote: 49328; Rating: 265; [+|-]
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<Tetsuo> Isn't using NOSPAM in a Hotmail address kind of like trying to stop a hurricane with plywood?
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Quote: 49329; Rating: 290; [+|-]
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<Ronwe> when I signed onto IRC I didn't expect to be involved in sodomy
<Ronwe> or incest....
<Ronwe> or be enjoying it....
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Quote: 49336; Rating: 131; [+|-]
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<Mhoram> I'll just say, anus is an aquired taste
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Quote: 49341; Rating: -39; [+|-]
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<Kamatz> Tails is cute. But I part of what I like about him is his innocense.
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Quote: 49346; Rating: 297; [+|-]
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<sampson> twisted my fuckin ankle...don't go to riots in birkenstocks
<sampson> they aren't good rioting shoes
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Quote: 49347; Rating: 24; [+|-]
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<Upth> did you know that the plastic used to make the keyboard keys warps when it gets wet and dries off?
<ChryoZach> Nope.
<Upth> my keys are beginning to wrinkle from sheer skin moisture.
<ChryoZach> And now I've learned something today.
<Upth> a bunch of the keys you can't even read anymore.
<ChryoZach> I don't know whether to laugh or feel really bad. Wow. This place really has made me numb.
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Quote: 49349; Rating: 134; [+|-]
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<Compute> man I'm going insane here..I hope katie decides not to go clubbing tomorrow night :|
<Mercster> com: so lay down the law and tell her not to go.
<Compute> merc: I don't think she'd pay any attention ;)
* Mercster hands compute the pants.
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Quote: 49355; Rating: 4; [+|-]
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<HUGE_SUCKER> IT'S PART OF TEH CONSPIRACY HATTER DON'T ASK WE'LL HAVE TO KILL YOU
<TimboFinanceBlows> <---!!!!!
<HUGE_SUCKER> Is that supposed to be a dick, Timbo? Because I read that (including your nick) as "Timbo Finance Blows Cock"
<TimboFinanceBlows> it would not be far off from teh truth
<Nicodemus> man... if that is supposed to be a dick, timbo needs to see the doctor
<TimboFinanceBlows> finance sucks my left nut
<HUGE_SUCKER> Of course, the fact that I see '<---!!!!!' and read 'cock' means I've been reading bash too much
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Quote: 49363; Rating: 52; [+|-]
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<@elf> my liver is more masculine than yours
<@Vexer`> my liver is a female.. ofcourse yours is..
<@Vexer`> but i bet mine is hot..
<@elf> of all the dumb things you've ever said, i think that's the dumbest.
<@Vexer`> i don't say many dumb things..
<@Vexer`> do i?
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Quote: 49369; Rating: 98; [+|-]
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<Ronwe> I think I've done one of the evillest things imaginable
<Ronwe> in my twins search I came across faked olsen twin porn
<D`mer> what?
<D`mer> ick
<Ronwe> I downloaded them
<Ronwe> so I went into channels on IRC the other night and said..
<Ronwe> If anybody is interested in some decent faked celeb pron to /msg me
<Ronwe> those who messaged me got olsen twin porn
<Ronwe> I'm banned from about 20 rooms in dalnet now
* Ronwe grins evilly
<D`mer> lol
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Quote: 49377; Rating: 115; [+|-]
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<Howard> My wife keeps getting sales calls on her cell.
<Howard> I picked it up this afternoon and told the salesperson "I need two things from you."
<Howard> "First, I need you to put me on the no-call list."
<Howard> "Second, I need your credit card number so I can charge you for calling me on this cell phone."
<Howard> They fell all over themselves apologizing and hung up.
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Quote: 49393; Rating: -22; [+|-]
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<PooJou> very very wrong
<milenko> btw, how did goatse start?
<Rainwulf> i think the only pic that ever really made me feel funny was that pic of the guy whose cock was split down the middle
<Rainwulf> that was..... not good
<Rainwulf> i mean wow, that must of hurt. fuck.
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Quote: 49398; Rating: 175; [+|-]
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<Nick> i go over my friends' houses with the sole intention of eating their food.
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Quote: 49409; Rating: 8; [+|-]
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<pr0tman> my gpa was in airforce. flew u2 n shit in cold war
<sn1per> i don't like u2...none of their music is any good
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Quote: 49425; Rating: -8; [+|-]
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*** Now talking in #athlon
*** Topic is '<pitz_> just good ol fashioned diesel talk <---I thought this was Taxi Cab Confessions?'
*** Set by [email protected] on Tue Nov 26 23:37:20
<Weng> Diesel talk: What goes on in truck stop diners when teenage prostitutes are absent
<Weng> Suddenly, pitz appears out of nowhere and refutes the idea that semis use true diesel because there is no "Freightliner FL70 TDI"
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Quote: 49429; Rating: 176; [+|-]
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shocka: God should have put women's eyeballs in their boobs
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Quote: 49438; Rating: 183; [+|-]
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<Rogue> lol @ my dads message just sent to me
<Rogue> "Press down if you think your gay"
<Rogue> i pressed down
<Rogue> "You fucking faggot"
<Rogue> he is an asshole
* Rogue slaps his dad
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Quote: 49441; Rating: 272; [+|-]
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<+sp0re> most CS players are illiterate
<+sp0re> infact nearly everyone on the internet is
<@nem0r> sp0re
<@nem0r> its alliterate
<+sp0re> no
<+sp0re> illiterate
<@nem0r> nah
<@nem0r> alliterate
<+sp0re> shut up
<+[IRF]Peng> illiterate nem0r :P
<+DCCwis> <nem0r> alliterate
<+DCCwis> lol
<+sp0re> he's a n00b
<@nem0r> smb
<+DCCwis> so if you were sick you'd say i'm "all"
<@nem0r> forget it
<@nem0r> fucking n00b clan anyway
* Parts: nem0r ([email protected])
<+sp0re> you can tell the CS players from a mile
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Quote: 49446; Rating: 260; [+|-]
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<radiohead> hey emp
<radiohead> http://www.stileproject.com/hotty.html
<Emperor3D> i'd fuck her
<photons> hahah
<Emperor3D> and cum on her tummy and face.
<photons> did you go all the way down..
<photons> brrwwahahaha
<radiohead> would you cum on her dick too?
<Emperor3D> :(
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Quote: 49449; Rating: 263; [+|-]
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<sad|st> grrrrrrrr
<sad|st> im going to *kill* my ex
<TblunT> good
<TblunT> ex's suck
<TblunT> fuck em
<sad|st> i spend 20 mins making fresh whipped cream every year and she demands i put Cool MotherFucking Whip on her shit
<sad|st> %&)%&*%&
<TblunT> sounds like the cream isn't the only thing whipped y0
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Quote: 49462; Rating: 199; [+|-]
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<energize> i just cant' think of anything to code
<pantherqs> code some porn
<energize> how the fuck do you code porn?
<Linkadmin> haha I wish I knew
<Linkadmin> but it would be cool... a random porn scene generator
<pantherqs> that'd be sweet... have the program randomly insert a chick's body with randomly generating tit size, hair color, shaved or not shaved.. then have a whole slew of randomly chosen actions... suck, fuck, bukakke.... oh man. i wish i could code.
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Quote: 49468; Rating: 65; [+|-]
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<Targen> I'm using a particular method to take the gas out of my coke that involves sinking the bottle's head somewhat deeply into my mouth...and some of the coke was dripping out because of a miscalculation.
<Targen> and my hand was right next to my nose
<Targen> I don't think I have to tell you what my hand smells like
<Targen> but the point is... eww, I will never use this method again
<Ender_Ray> thats what you get for having oral sex with a coke bottle :
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Quote: 49470; Rating: 19; [+|-]
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<jkl> umm.. I felt a slight fastening of my heartbeat...
<jkl> but that coulda been cause i farted :\
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Quote: 49471; Rating: 185; [+|-]
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*** Topic is 'http://yellow5.com/pokey/ | I WILL ASK THIS FOX FOR GUIDANCE'
*** Set by JoeMustDie on Tue Nov 12 18:34:04
*** Sopabuena changes topic to 'http://yellow5.com/pokey/ | I WILL ASK THIS FOX FOR GUIDANCE 4818'
-Later-
*** Squinky changes topic to 'http://yellow5.com/pokey/ | WISDOM SHALL BE RECEIVED'
<Sopabuena> No keep that number there
*** Sopabuena changes topic to 'http://yellow5.com/pokey/ | WISDOM SHALL BE RECEIVED 4818'
<Squinky> What is the number?
<Sopabuena> part of a phone
<Sopabuena> i put it there or i will forget to call
<Squinky> Hee!
<Squinky> You may be addicted when you use channel topics as reminder notes
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Quote: 49472; Rating: 73; [+|-]
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<DiamonDie> why does asl matter?
<enzo_> age,sex ,location?
<DiamonDie> yes i know, i've irced since '97, but why does it matter?
<enzo_> because i am n ot gay!
<enzo_> and i do not chat with men!
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Quote: 49474; Rating: 15; [+|-]
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<sk8er^BzY> But i want to have Sex
<sk8er^BzY> when i press sex
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Quote: 49476; Rating: 213; [+|-]
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<Byte> i cant find a good isp :(
<Byte> vcisp.net looked good
<Byte> but 30 hours/week...
<Byte> i use at least 56 hours
<Byte> per day
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Quote: 49477; Rating: 258; [+|-]
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<aNuBiS-> she humps me from behind sometimes tho
<aNuBiS-> as a joke
<aNuBiS-> when shes walking behind me
<JayWhoa> she wants to be a man
<JayWhoa> a gay man
<pagan> its all fun and games untill soemone gets their anus poked out
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Quote: 49480; Rating: 129; [+|-]
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<+Zebz> someone should plot a graph of how much money each of these nigerian emails is offering against time
<+Zebz> I think it's some kind of hidden message
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Quote: 49481; Rating: 52; [+|-]
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<Minion> I BECAME A NUDIST SO I WOULDNT HAVE TO BROWSE THE INTERNET FOR UNDERAGE PORN!
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Quote: 49483; Rating: 105; [+|-]
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<[-FcG-]Digger> Let's all hold hands and sing...on second thought, let's wait until Soad washes his hands.
<[-FcG-]SOAD17[-RawR-]> i don't f@p THAT much :/
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Quote: 49485; Rating: 355; [+|-]
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<[-FcG-]Digger> LOLOLOL, Some lady just called my cell and was like "Hi I'd like to place an order" So I took it! She's gonna be pissed when the pizza doesn't arrive.
<[-FcG-]Digger> LMAO CLASSIC
<[-FcG-]Digger> Oh man, I RULE!
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Quote: 49486; Rating: 212; [+|-]
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<cranky-> pagan: I just catch her when she's not looking
<cranky-> I'll buy her dinner first so it's not rape
<KK-> its just buying sex then
<cranky-> what do you think marriage really is?
<cranky-> it's long term financing on a piece of ass
<_overkill> WORD
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Quote: 49499; Rating: 444; [+|-]
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<Praetor> i got jury duty and I was like
<Praetor> "well.. I don't believe in drug laws... i couldn't convict someone on drug posession bc i don't believe it should be a crime, unless he was black of course"
<Praetor> excused
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Quote: 49505; Rating: 373; [+|-]
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<sieco> i still use it to play duck hunt
<ion> my nintendo went out the window after that last time I failed to beat ganon and bring home the tri-force
<XCoyote> lol
<ion> my girlfriend was like "you fucking sissy. if you don't bring me home the tri-force I'm going out with Bobby next door"
<sieco> rofl
<ion> I'm like "fuck you bitch!" and I flung the nintendo at her
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Quote: 49507; Rating: 146; [+|-]
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<wabbit> wanna know something funny dave?
<wabbit> about nora
<wabbit> +d
<wabbit> and what the spend money on?
<wabbit> +y
* |Dave hands wabbit the manual for his keyboard.
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Quote: 49513; Rating: 464; [+|-]
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<blabur93> I swear it was the most disgusting thing I've ever seen
<Zoogle> like all male senior citizen bukkake nasty?
<blabur93> ........ no
<blabur93> but thanks, now i just imagined the most disgusting thing ever
<Zoogle> np, anytime
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Quote: 49514; Rating: 324; [+|-]
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*** Malach has changed the topic on #nz to If your parents get divorced, are they still cousins?
<lower> Shouldn't it be "If your parents get divorced, are you still your own cousin?"
<Malach> lower - you inbreed your way, I'll inbreed mine.
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Quote: 49515; Rating: 14; [+|-]
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<spd> can you be charged for not giving the money back
<EnronExec> only if you're caught
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|
Quote: 49519; Rating: 12; [+|-]
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<DJ_Antonissen> learned?
<DJ_Antonissen> isn't that for nerds?
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Quote: 49521; Rating: 150; [+|-]
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<Nyphur> I want to grwo my hair long so that if I get a girlfriend, people will think we're lesbians.
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Quote: 49522; Rating: 217; [+|-]
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<Hunter`> someone has a life long grudge against me
<ineffable> Hunter` : yeah, thats probably god
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Quote: 49525; Rating: 413; [+|-]
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xekk: i went to go see the ring
xekk: and this little kid, like 10 years old was sitting behind me
xekk: i guess he had his finger in his mouth
xekk: cause everytime something scary happened, he'd say "I bit my fingo!"
unslaught: hey everyone, im here!
MovieMan112: I bit my fingo!
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Quote: 49528; Rating: 85; [+|-]
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<@Skute> so what is elf doing going out with a 14 year old??
<+Rebs|busy> having a good time it seems
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Quote: 49529; Rating: 360; [+|-]
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<UltimateMetroid> who here plays metroid?
<Daishi> I only play it cause you gotta know samus is hot under that suit
<UltimateMetroid> fag
<Daishi> dumbass
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