|
Quote: 49006; Rating: 445; [+|-]
|
<Hat> How many seconds are there in a year?
<sirus> 2
<Hat> No.
<sirus> 7?
<Hat> That's not even an educated guess...
<sirus> i know
<sirus> im being stupid on purpose
<Hat> It's hard to tell.
|
|
Quote: 49007; Rating: 191; [+|-]
|
<dustin> you ever masturbated on a washer when it was on spin cycle ?
<dustin> it's the best
<Sh3lby> if u say so
<dustin> just make sure it's not a public washing place
<dustin> they don't take kindly to things like that
|
|
Quote: 49008; Rating: 300; [+|-]
|
<dustin> i'm hung like a zombie process
|
|
Quote: 49010; Rating: 445; [+|-]
|
<Hat> What is seven Q plus three Q?
<Khryptonite> 10q
<Hat> You're welcome.
<Khryptonite> Huh?
<Hat> haha
<Khryptonite> WHAT!?!! stop laughing at me all the time
<Hat> 10Q, when spoken phoenetically, sounds like "thank you".
<Khryptonite> huh?
<Khryptonite> TELL ME WHAT IT MEANS
<Khryptonite> HAT, TELL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|
|
Quote: 49013; Rating: -20; [+|-]
|
<Shaka|HeatingUpSomeSaki> child. i dont care if you are a guy. you can show me what it means to be a man anytime
|
|
Quote: 49016; Rating: 522; [+|-]
|
<armyopsfufu> shoplifting is a victimless crime, like PUNCHING SOMEONE IN THE DARK
<DrivingZucchini> or jacking off into a birdbath
|
|
Quote: 49019; Rating: 263; [+|-]
|
<fahd> anyone want to volunteer with me at the retirement home
<d3> hell no fahd
<d3> have fun cleaning up 93 year old feces
<fahd> no
<fahd> just to talk to them
<fahd> entertain them
<fahd> and maybe get laid
|
|
Quote: 49020; Rating: 270; [+|-]
|
<Mr`K> When people find out you play video games, they think.. like..
<Mr`K> You play EVERY video game
<nzc> dont you?
<Mr`K> "Oh, I got this game, I can't get past this part, what do I do?"
<Mr`K> And it's like Barbie's Fashion Designer
|
|
Quote: 49028; Rating: 100; [+|-]
|
<shadow> I love compact cars. They're small and discreet... kind of like tampons.
<Squirl> exactly
<Squirl> and when youre done you just flush them
|
|
Quote: 49038; Rating: 585; [+|-]
|
<Ed> Noah's Ark, bah.
<Ed> <GOD> DUDE, YOU HAVE TO LIKE... GET A BUNCH OF ANIMALS AND SHIT. ALL OF THEM.
<crunchyfish> <God> Gotta catch 'em all!
|
|
Quote: 49041; Rating: 13; [+|-]
|
<waffle> Jon: promise us all you will never have children
<waffle> for the good of mankind
<Ed> He doesn't have to promise!
<Phyresis> I don't plan on reproducing
<Phyresis> but I'm going to mold humanity to the way I see fit
<Phyresis> I'm sick of ignorant fuckers running amok
<Phyresis> we will have enlightenment or extinction
<Phyresis> take your pick
<Ed> So are you like, Asian Jesus or someshit?
|
|
Quote: 49048; Rating: 373; [+|-]
|
<timer> my penis has a linux distribution on it
<defz> minix?
|
|
Quote: 49049; Rating: 39; [+|-]
|
[00:00] * Invi20 is now known as Invi21
|
|
Quote: 49052; Rating: 519; [+|-]
|
<Potatocake> The goatse guy would be good at shoplifting.
|
|
Quote: 49053; Rating: 311; [+|-]
|
Magical^^: man i can think of a thosuand ways to get laid, and none of them aint working tonight
moses1: well since all the ideas involve you , im not suprised
|
|
Quote: 49054; Rating: 42; [+|-]
|
<RushMore> she couldnt stay away from my animal magnitsm
<RushMore> or is it my immense gravometric field
<issuez> no thats me
<issuez> shes in my time zone
<issuez> im fat
<issuez> it all revolves around me
|
|
Quote: 49074; Rating: 181; [+|-]
|
<NinjaStu> oh fuckies
<NinjaStu> 2am
<NinjaStu> and such a good book
<NinjaStu> THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS ME!
<NinjaStu> OH MY TORTURED SOUL!
<NinjaStu> OH DAMN I"M OUT OF MASCARA
<NinjaStu> AND MY TESTICLES ITCH
<Hiryuu> XD
<NinjaStu> that was my impression of a Hot Topic employee
<NinjaStu> thank you thank you
<NinjaStu> i'll be here all week
|
|
Quote: 49095; Rating: 39; [+|-]
|
<cbf> *dances* My nerdiness is now complete, I just said "rofl" in real life.
<smega84> cbf did u actually say rofl or role on floor laughing?
<cbf> [smega84]: "rofl"
<smega84> cbf AWESOME
<smega84> ur transfer is COMPLETE :)
|
|
Quote: 49102; Rating: 113; [+|-]
|
<droptone> the only afterlife is if a necrophilac gets ahold of you
|
|
Quote: 49122; Rating: 142; [+|-]
|
<DAnuba> omfg
<DAnuba> gay pride just came to my house
<C-rEs> ?
<DAnuba> and asked us to join their cause
<C-rEs> haha
<DAnuba> well
<DAnuba> i told them to fuck off
<DAnuba> they called me a fag basher
*later*
<DAnuba> i'm going to a weight lifting convention tomorrow
<C-rEs> heh
<C-rEs> so you did talk to the gay pride guys!
|
|
Quote: 49131; Rating: 161; [+|-]
|
<PACHUKA> dude, this chick is so fat, "ribbed for her pleasure" means masturbating with a waffle
|
|
Quote: 49142; Rating: 583; [+|-]
|
<Trimangle> ahg, my gf tried to kiss me after giving me head, I just pretended to be overcome with a sudden coughing fit and asked for a glass of water, then I took a sip, and gave the rest to her.
<Trimangle> it was subtle
<MikeyPain> heh
<MikeyPain> I woulda handed her some mouthwash and a toothbrush
<Trimangle> I was thinking of just hitting her on the nose with a rolled up newspaper
|
|
Quote: 49147; Rating: 441; [+|-]
|
(timmo) #33375 +(-61)- [X]
(timmo) <jestuh> What's the worse part of raping a 5yo boy?
(timmo) <jestuh> Getting blood on your clown suit
(timmo) classic jestuh quote
(timmo) how can that be -61
[pHluid] Dunno, they must've thought it was a nigger joke.
|
|
Quote: 49151; Rating: 593; [+|-]
|
<TrueBlue> Little Timmy was a chemist, Little Timmy is no more, 'cause what Little Timmy thought was H20, was really H2S04.
|
|
Quote: 49191; Rating: 401; [+|-]
|
<mikebwork> but, lets say she asked me.. "do you ever have fantasies about
girls that are petit"
<mikebwork> id' have to answer..
<mikebwork> "on occasion, yes. but not because they are petit."
<sh-> i'd say something like "yes, but occasionally i fantasize about having
sex with a horse, while a young mexican boy takes pictures, so it's
nothing you have to be insecure about"
<sh-> but not everyone is as suave as me
|
|
Quote: 49195; Rating: 158; [+|-]
|
<Ahriman> !google Killing children for the benefit of pig farmers
<BuffyBot> GOOGLE : Canadian Coalition for Green Health Care ( http://www.greenhealthcare.ca/workshop22-09-00.htm )
|
|
Quote: 49201; Rating: -132; [+|-]
|
<SiNN3R> %% %%%%%%
<SiNN3R> %% %%
<SiNN3R> %%%%%%%%%%
<SiNN3R> %% %%
<SiNN3R> %%%%%% %%
<Triffix> heh, that's nice.
<noss> how cute.
<noss> now my mind is all converted and i feel that jews should gassed to death.
|
|
Quote: 49235; Rating: 242; [+|-]
|
<My`Albanian`Ass> FUCK!!!! MY MUM BUSTED ME LOOKING AT THE GOATSE GUY!
<CoMPLeX> and u were looking at it becoz....
<My`Albanian`Ass> leave me alone, my mum's looking at me funny, brb talking.
|
|
Quote: 49236; Rating: -1; [+|-]
|
<Sirea> I want a daughter who has a tentacle fetish
<Sirea> I also want to be able to download new fetishes to her brain on the fly
|
|
Quote: 49238; Rating: 57; [+|-]
|
<P33R\> I suppose you could stand on your hands and take a beer bong in the ass
<pagan> are you talking form experience ?
<P33R\> yeah
|
|
Quote: 49242; Rating: 100; [+|-]
|
<whirlygig> Oh I know a lot of boys don't know how to aim.
<Deviation> i dont even bother trying anymore
<Deviation> ive converted into a sitter
|
|
Quote: 49251; Rating: 38; [+|-]
|
<DiskSpeed> my friend and I were talking and we thought it would be cool if instead of using transistors, processor manufacturers just shrank little sweatshop workers and made them hold hands and the electric shock would go through them
<DiskSpeed> and they would be in a maze and change whos hand they were holding for different things
<DiskSpeed> and the cache with the processor is really meth that is constantly fed to these miniature workers to keep them quick
|
|
Quote: 49258; Rating: 78; [+|-]
|
* Joins: Ramza ([email protected])
<Ramza> jhzsdkjdsf
* Parts: Ramza ([email protected])
<Temujin> Why does he keep doing that...
<DopeHat> He's on crack.
<Temujin> ......
<Temujin> Canadians can't afford crack.
<Temujin> They smoke Clorox.
|
|
Quote: 49259; Rating: 0; [+|-]
|
<MindGamez> omg that commercial would have been so funny if the little girl had asked santa for a 7 and a quarter inch penis instead of a stereo system or whatever
|
|
Quote: 49262; Rating: 360; [+|-]
|
<SO|Rancor> go use one of them stupid translators
<SO|Rancor> i used one once for spanish class...............and the teacher almost got me kicked out of school for accidentally saying your a fat old man who loves cock
<SO|Rancor> but the sentence in english was the man owned some chickens:-/
|
|
Quote: 49264; Rating: 206; [+|-]
|
<notaku> why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?
<asiago> notaku, so you can cook slabs of concrete
<asiago> don't worry, as your toaster ages that setting will barely brown the bread
|
|
Quote: 49265; Rating: 119; [+|-]
|
<RetardedCrow> Crap, I put the head phones in, and I here "Anal beads, whatever. Now you can get realistic animal genitals. How bout a kangaroo penis?"
|
|
Quote: 49268; Rating: 12; [+|-]
|
* Potatocake wonders why the fuck he is listening to DDR songs
<cbf> double data rate is a band now?
<Potatocake> Dance Dance Revolution :P
|
|
Quote: 49271; Rating: 158; [+|-]
|
<Vexer`> i'm arabic / muslim
<Traktopel> im more muslim than you
<Vexer`> you are?
<Vexer`> YOU TERRORIST!
|
|
Quote: 49278; Rating: 119; [+|-]
|
<ctrlbreak> i went to Coles to get cigarettes
<ctrlbreak> but forgot what i went there for
<ctrlbreak> and came home with cordial and milk
<ctrlbreak> instead
<ctrlbreak> i feel ripped off
|
|
Quote: 49288; Rating: 107; [+|-]
|
<Morokiane> you go fishing for couches? that's gotta suck
<Khe> you're telling me
<Khe> only got two catches last month
<Khe> had to throw the other one back, too small
<Morokiane> damn...bad day
<Khe> they bag you if you keep loveseats
<Morokiane> figures they wouldn't let you have the best
<Khe> cause then they can't go upsteam and spawn
* Morokiane makes note not to couch fish in Cali
<Khe> and you fsck with the population for next season
|
|
Quote: 49289; Rating: 4; [+|-]
|
[gsf]Tomato: It's only rape if you don't take them out to dinner first.
|
|
Quote: 49293; Rating: 179; [+|-]
|
MetalMantisX: ozzy's daughter obviously got none of her fathers talent
KennyGetsum: both of the kids look like the mom.. ud never guess they were even related to Ozzy
MetalMantisX: his other daughter looks like him though
MetalMantisX: the smart one, thats not on the show
KennyGetsum: ya cause she was concieved while ozzys blood alcohol content was under 20%
|
|
Quote: 49295; Rating: 281; [+|-]
|
<Japhro> I like my coffee like I like my women: $2.50
|
|
Quote: 49298; Rating: 252; [+|-]
|
<Tetsubo> ever wish you could just start life over cause you didn't know what to do the first time around and messed it all up?
<Tetsubo> why doesn't real life have a tutorial mode?
|
|
Quote: 49300; Rating: 141; [+|-]
|
<NikJam> gonna take a shower
<NikJam> cause i smell, i feel dirty, and worse of all
<NikJam> I have school tommorow
<NikJam> and I can't look bad in front of the girl at the counter
<Lime> you like her, dont you
<NikJam> well
<NikJam> there's noone else to like, i go to community college
<NikJam> i take what i can get
|
|
Quote: 49309; Rating: 342; [+|-]
|
<Grimmel> STICKING YOUR PENIS INTO ANOTHER DUDES ASS IS DISGUSTING
<Grimmel> UNLESS ITS MARDOM
<Mardom> what?
|
|
Quote: 49310; Rating: 301; [+|-]
|
<Gir> brb I gota get out of the shitter now.
<Mardom> what
<Mardom> the fuck
|
|
Quote: 49313; Rating: 184; [+|-]
|
<dustin> seti@home isn't actually doing anything worth while, they're just trying to see how many morons they can get to waste cpu cycles
<Teck7> no there doing a great thing
<dustin> when they finally do find intelligent life they're gonna come down and kick your ass for wasting cpu cycles
|
|
Quote: 49315; Rating: 122; [+|-]
|
<Nerd> IE closed while I was logging in and now when I try to open it, it triggers a fatal exception.
<MikeyPain> hmmm
<Nerd> I really don't want to be forced into using the AOL browser, damn it.
<MikeyPain> Does it say "Click Yes if you have a small penis?" and then won't let you click no?
<Nerd> Exactly.
|
|