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Quote: 50384; Rating: 192; [+|-]
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<SicChild> I got action with this hot chick I've been going after
<SicChild> so :P
<NeAck> so?
<SicChild> so......I'm happy.
<Teknolyfe> how long did she take to blow up?
<SicChild> lol
<NeAck> hahaha |
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Quote: 50385; Rating: 440; [+|-]
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<gerrard> siiiiigh
<gerrard> nothing like sitting around in your boxers at 4 am
<gerrard> mouse in one hand
<gerrard> can of mountain dew in the other
<}Phoenix{> dick in your mouth
<gerrard> ya..
<gerrard> hey wait |
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Quote: 50386; Rating: 135; [+|-]
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TwilightKnight00: hey can you do me a favor
Dr SpaZZo: no.
Dr SpaZZo: Go on. |
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Quote: 50387; Rating: 236; [+|-]
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[+mrspip]: your right ;)
[+SPo0n]: you're*
[+[SCB]m0yda]: ooooo we got a spelling bot in here ;P
[+SPo0n]: *have
[+SPo0n]: and grammar :P |
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Quote: 50388; Rating: 6; [+|-]
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<+datafreak> im sure the thrust of my semen has improved, it got as far as the monitor |
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Quote: 50411; Rating: 854; [+|-]
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<[CIT-R]StreaK> my puppy is crying :(
<Volt9000> so pull out |
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Quote: 50412; Rating: 4; [+|-]
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<LB|homework> holy fuck, this log in my ass is no longer just a pieceful log floating in assjuices, its somehow become a battaring ram of "holy fuck i got to go" |
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Quote: 50466; Rating: 873; [+|-]
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<Goldath> I just made a sammach with enough meat to kill a large bird
<Goldath> Oh wait, it did
<Goldath> Hahaha, stupid turkey |
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Quote: 50482; Rating: 154; [+|-]
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<yegz> styric : pick one question
<yegz> and ask
<styric> which question |
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Quote: 50509; Rating: 185; [+|-]
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<CoRDS> damn my cat is lazy, he is just lying on the bed showing off his testicles
<|CluBCaT|> I was there about 10mins ago |
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Quote: 50521; Rating: 190; [+|-]
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<My`Albanian`Ass> why u miss me?
<^hOTTIE^4^U^> yeh
<^hOTTIE^4^U^> bAd
<My`Albanian`Ass> how bad
<My`Albanian`Ass> bad enough to masturbate urself infront of a mirror while wearing a face mask that looks like my face? |
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Quote: 50522; Rating: 126; [+|-]
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<Keza> Dear Diary, I think thoes cnuts in #x have been reading yuo again |
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Quote: 50523; Rating: 1318; [+|-]
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<DarthSemiAway> 2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilamockingbirds |
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Quote: 50540; Rating: 155; [+|-]
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* BlueDust shudders as u tuch her wet pussy
* Voice-From-The-Toilet beats Seaker up with a power tool
* BlueDust ([email protected]) has left #5fm
<Seaker> BWAHAHAHAHAHA
<Voice-From-The-Toilet> heya blekwissird
<Seaker> Bluedust obviously had the wrong window open for that 1
<Seaker> wahaha |
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Quote: 50544; Rating: 215; [+|-]
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<slut> i'm banned from kmart for stealing condoms i'll never use |
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Quote: 50554; Rating: 231; [+|-]
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<Satori> I read this book once, yeh, about this guy named claude who hooked up with this young gal who got pregnant and it wasn't his kid, but she said it was the result of getting raped by a supernaural being so he was cool with it so he packed the old girl up and headed off to pay taxes on her ass so's she'd be legal like... but shit happened and she wound up birthing the brat in some shit-filled barn so the shepherd brought in myrhh and frankincense |
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Quote: 50564; Rating: 206; [+|-]
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duckstab: Oh and as if i'm the only guy that'd ask God for a handjob. He INVENTED the penis, guys. |
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Quote: 50573; Rating: 340; [+|-]
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<EviL`J> i had soem 10 year old ask me to cyber the other day
<LordOfSwine> how was it? |
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Quote: 50576; Rating: 201; [+|-]
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<gav_> Myst : your gonna do something other than irc??
<mystican> yea exactly
<gav_> cool
<gav_> what channel? |
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Quote: 50610; Rating: 255; [+|-]
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<EazyCheez> I know this girl who is really hot and sweet, a Big Beautiful Woman... she makes my Captain stand at attention
<sqweak> hollywood lied
<sqweak> big is not beautiful
<EazyCheez> she's 5'2 and 305 or something, but I don't care... woo hoo she's wild!
<TreeSquid> EazyCheez: HOLY FUCK
<sqweak> DEAR GOD MAN
<sqweak> that's a fucking keg on legs!
<TreeSquid> that is disgusting, and you are a crazy piece of shit
<antivert> hungry hungry hippos!
<TreeSquid> don't ever talk to me again
<TreeSquid> that's just plain nasty
<sqweak> how the fuck do you squeeze 300 lbs into 5'2
<sqweak> thats like, 5 lbs an INCH! |
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Quote: 50615; Rating: 160; [+|-]
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<ajpiano|fifa03> THIS WANKS AWFUL
<Jig|werk> prosthetic hand?
<derobrash> heh
<derobrash> lol
<Jig|werk> put it in the microwave and warm it up. |
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Quote: 50630; Rating: 288; [+|-]
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<NuttO> 'I went to a movie last night and saw a marquee for [Eight Crazy Nights]: "EIGHT CRAZY NIG" 10:30.' |
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Quote: 50635; Rating: 258; [+|-]
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<PsychoticBat> Digga, what did skid do that made him a cocksucker?
<Atchoo> Please :)
<Digga> sucked a cock
<PsychoticBat> Oh. |
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Quote: 50649; Rating: 341; [+|-]
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<g9icy> heh, opposite my old house there was this massive field...i used to find all sorts on there, old needles (didn't touch), used jonnies...cars...bikes...etc
<Xanothis> are you implying you touched the used jonnies? |
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Quote: 50665; Rating: 26; [+|-]
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<Unsounder|HW> Mixs
<Unsounder|HW> didn't you forget to wank?
<Unsounder|HW> there's porn in 30 mins
<Mixs-zZZz> Haven't got that chan :/
<Unsounder|HW> i mean come on....you can't go loaded to school
<Unsounder|HW> on gymnasium you'll have a hardon constantly then :P
<Mixs-zZZz> Did I tell you about the bombthreat? I think I did..
<Mixs-zZZz> I wanked after that :P
<Unsounder|HW> ROFL
<Unsounder|HW> I don't wanna know what you did the 11th sep then :P |
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Quote: 50676; Rating: 412; [+|-]
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<[LH]Georg> PAIN LEADS TO ANGER. AND ANGER LEADS TO CAPS LOCK. AND CAPS LOCK LEADS TO REVOLTING PEOPLE IN AN IRC CHANNEL. |
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Quote: 50677; Rating: 365; [+|-]
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<Wedgie> yay! the flickering stopped..
<Wedgie> I fetched a hammer and looked at the monitor really threatening :) |
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Quote: 50680; Rating: -15; [+|-]
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<SiX-SiN> www.shoutcast.com
<[ZeRo]luNa-SiN> mmm kpop
<SiX-SiN> ckr lags
<[ZeRo]luNa-SiN> omfg
<[ZeRo]luNa-SiN> how is KPOP fucking 2nd and 4th
<SiX-SiN> i dunno
<SiX-SiN> it would be rap
<SiX-SiN> but niggers dont kno how to use the computer |
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Quote: 50681; Rating: 925; [+|-]
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<naga> so how long can nicknames be?
<parnbl00d> pretty long
* naga is now known as nagaiseatingpie
<nagaiseatingpie> cool
* naga is now known as nagalikeslongdicks
<nagalikeslongdicks> nicks! nicks!
<nagalikeslongdicks> shit
<parnbl00d> ahahaha |
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Quote: 50701; Rating: 284; [+|-]
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<|TripleH|> Ever been fucking some 15-year-old homeless girl and the roofies wear off and she starts to wake up? Do you just keep going, or do you hit her with a toaster or something and try to knock her back out? I never know what to do. |
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Quote: 50708; Rating: 708; [+|-]
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<Toen> With Starfox Adventures, Rare redefined fun.
<Toen> Fun (adj.) 1: Not fun. |
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Quote: 50709; Rating: 335; [+|-]
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<gee-1> we should market heart monitor devices that're like implanted. so if you die, it'll remotely run a program, to like make your computer log in, get on irc, and msg your friends that you're dead. |
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Quote: 50729; Rating: 21; [+|-]
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<Justn> I cant wait till the summer i'll be working out so much... I'm gonna be ripped!
<Ian_540> maybe working out will give you big muscles, but it won't make your small dick any bigger |
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Quote: 50731; Rating: 346; [+|-]
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<@frosty[bong]> Current Time Time:u00ab12:38amu00bb Day:u00abSundayu00bb Date:u00abDecember 1st 2002u00bb TimeZone:u00abGMT -8:00u00bb u0097I-n-v-i-s-i-o-nu0097
<@frosty[bong]> its December!!!
<@kmad> sweet
<@kmad> only 14 months till feburary |
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Quote: 50733; Rating: 204; [+|-]
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<Jeeeeebus> plus i got jedis to give me hound jobs..
<LDM> hound jobs = beastality?
<Jeeeeebus> HAND!! HAND!! |
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Quote: 50734; Rating: 97; [+|-]
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<kremlyn> I was in #atomicmpc, then I left because they are all gheybos (tm)
<kremlyn> And he pm'd me and asked me to come back
<kremlyn> So I said
<kremlyn> [19:48] <kremlyn> Why? To watch a bunch of pre-pubescent CS playingu00a0 u00a0 Overclockers talk about how much faster their computer is now that it's running at a 4 Mhz faster FSB, when for the amount of money they spent on a liquid-urine cooling system, they could have bought a faster box anyway?
<kremlyn> And he quit |
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Quote: 50735; Rating: 303; [+|-]
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<sleeper> I wonder if it would be illegal to take scans of a magazine from 1960 and sell them
<sleeper> I figure it must be....but is it?
<Sku> has to be older then that to be legal fer sure
<sleeper> you're sure that isn't public domain by now?
<ZeroHour> no sleeper, PlayBoy is still in business
<ZeroHour> lol
<sleeper> how'd you know it was playboy? |
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Quote: 50743; Rating: 211; [+|-]
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Gildor gets back on his hands and knees and dives back under the desk
moki: trying for another promotion, Gildor? |
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Quote: 50745; Rating: 720; [+|-]
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zambezi: Why's it called the tourist season if we're not allowed to shoot them?
forge: Shit!
forge: We aren't? |
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Quote: 50752; Rating: 150; [+|-]
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<+Psylent> It turned out to be a good night in any case
<+Psylent> and yes, this is all a thinly veiled ruse to boast about my new girlfriend
<SteamedHams> you can't use irc AND have sex
<SteamedHams> irc shoots out invisible rays that kill your sperm
<egg> that's good
<+Psylent> that's very good
<egg> you don't need to use protection
<SteamedHams> yeah, let the aids flow
<egg> he's not african
<SteamedHams> ahaha, his girlfriend knows that better than anyone |
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Quote: 50757; Rating: 151; [+|-]
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(@Vinpire) ahh but 25 days until some lovely new stuff. and only a month till i get some money and buy and xbox
(+[KdAwG]) ....
(+[KdAwG]) Vinpire; i never want to speak to you again
(@Vinpire) oh it's like that, even after i sent you that star wars rom
(@Vinpire) pah
(+[KdAwG]) ...you sent me star wars? :x
(@Vinpire) jeez, i uploaded it to your ftp so other people could rape you for it yesterday
(+[KdAwG]) ...you did? :D
(@Vinpire) it's in uploads. lol
(+[KdAwG]) wow
(+[KdAwG]) it is
(+[KdAwG]) <3 |
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Quote: 50760; Rating: 24; [+|-]
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<SuperMegaGeek145> this is a really gooooood movie
<xTaVx> lol
<xTaVx> You need a paper towel?
<SuperMegaGeek145> ewww
<SuperMegaGeek145> good, commercial
<SuperMegaGeek145> brb |
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Quote: 50761; Rating: 328; [+|-]
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<Alty> i say burn bill gates at the stake and all will be well
<Ron[afk]> :)
<Esper> yay! fire solves everything!
<Ron[afk]> Except for fires. |
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Quote: 50767; Rating: 912; [+|-]
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<hazza-> there was a young vampire named mable
<hazza-> who's periods where really quite stable
<hazza-> and every full moon
<hazza-> she'd get out a spoon
<hazza-> and drink herself under the table
<|iCARUS> sick bastard
<|iCARUS> i like it tho :0 |
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Quote: 50769; Rating: 314; [+|-]
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<Koult> ah yes, but fat people are harder to kidnap |
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Quote: 50772; Rating: 339; [+|-]
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<Coolman_mike> brb, my keyboard isnt working |
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Quote: 50774; Rating: 287; [+|-]
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<aBoijj> he asked me where I downloaded it from
<aBoijj> I said I walked into the shop and downloaded it from the shelf to my hand then uploaded some money from my pocket to the till via the shop assistant |
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Quote: 50775; Rating: 281; [+|-]
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<Goose-dz> what you should do is bury half of your money in the back yard
<D3StRuCT> wait a minute
<D3StRuCT> i remember something like this in the bible, i was actually awake on this one
<D3StRuCT> didnt that guy get called a dumb ass bitch?
<Goose-dz> they used the phrase dumb ass bitch in the bible?
<D3StRuCT> well no
<Goose-dz> must be the new testament
<D3StRuCT> it was much more complex and condescending |
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Quote: 50779; Rating: 1644; [+|-]
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<Koult> Hey Lac'
<Lac'> Sup dude?
<Koult> You know I went to the cinema with Claire
<Lac'> aye
<Koult> She gave me a blowjob half way through
<Lac'> really!?sweet!
<Koult> No dude, not fucking sweet,
<Lac'> ?
<Koult> Just as I came I was looking up at the screen,
<Koult> and Elijah Wood aka Frodo looked right into the camera
<Koult> and now I've got his face burned into my memory, I feel I've just gotten head from a fucking Hobbit
<Lac'>I'd type rofl ect but if I dont stop laughing I'll piss myself |
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Quote: 50782; Rating: 27; [+|-]
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<F-F> Marks the end of a dialup ISP for me!!!
<F-F> and ive never bitched about UTV :P
<r0x0r> i thought you was getting AOL
<F-F> i am yeah
<F-F> but its a trial :P
<r0x0r> Your 500 free hours are not welcome here, F-F :-/
<F-F> 100 :-/
<F-F> in the usa its 1025
<F-F> here its 100
<F-F> 500.. here? haha
<F-F> No :P
<r0x0r> whatever
<r0x0r> everyone gets sick after 1 or 2 hours |
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