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Quote: 724072; Rating: 192; [+|-]
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<+maaneeack> and I can't get off 56k if there is nothing else
<+maaneeack> 56k, or yelling, and there is waaaay too much packet loss and downtime on yelling
<acquacow> that's what I tried to tell my mom
<acquacow> so I moved out
<acquacow> we now communicate digitally
<acquacow> and with the right spam filter
<acquacow> I hear nothing at all.
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Quote: 724316; Rating: 1135; [+|-]
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<theGaurav x45> yo i got
<theGaurav x45> Microsoft Office 2007
<theGaurav x45> greatest thing ever invented
<theGaurav x45> so amazing
<theGaurav x45> it took me 15 minutes to find spellcheck
<theGaurav x45> but still
<theGaurav x45> amazing
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Quote: 724327; Rating: 237; [+|-]
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<Jimmothy> i have girl hands
<Jimmothy> and nice nails to match
<@D1> the better to handle my ballz
<Jimmothy> anyone can hold peanuts D1
<@D1> ;[
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Quote: 724925; Rating: 849; [+|-]
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<^zauberer> I do not speak the english well but I will use a translator
<Xanpony> Sure, I understand :)
<^zauberer> :)
<^zauberer> you are of which pay
<Xanpony> Okey, there is problems with your translator :(
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Quote: 724962; Rating: 1728; [+|-]
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<VFR8> Omg
<VFR8> I was driving home today and I saw the best license plate
<VFR8> 56K SRY
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Quote: 724976; Rating: 1877; [+|-]
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<Green> So I got in my car
<Green> and there was birdshit on my windsheild
<Green> so i got a paper towel and got out to wipe it off
<Green> but it wouldn't come off
<Green> and thats when I realized it was on the INSIDE
<Green> I had a hard time getting to sleep that night
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Quote: 725069; Rating: 3039; [+|-]
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<Holly> So I got my period, and i was bleeding, and my pad leaked
<Jesse> Really?
<Holly> Yeah, and it leaked everywhere! And so i had to go into the doctors, and they had to shave my vagina, it wasnt good
<Jesse> Wow, i cant believe youre telling me this
<Holly> Well...its just girl talk
<Jesse> Jesse is a guy's name too
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Quote: 725241; Rating: 1723; [+|-]
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<@DemocracyDan> 5 votes to get kyhx banned!
<@DemocracyDan> fine if you are all going to spit in the face of democracy by not voting we won't allow talking at all
* DemocracyDan sets mode: +m
* DemocracyDan is now known as NaziNorm
<@NaziNorm> this is what happens when you don't allow your voices to be heard
<@NaziNorm> they get taken away
<@NaziNorm> think about that for awhile
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Quote: 725392; Rating: -401; [+|-]
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<@CCFreak2K> Go down to your local Home Depot and ask for one.
<%Zeraliten> No such thing as Home Depot in eurofag-land :(
<@CCFreak2K> Then go to a Home...Gulag.
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Quote: 725783; Rating: 1168; [+|-]
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<1> please tell me if there's any way to check if a table exist in mysql database
<2> if (mysql_query('DROP TABLE table_name')) echo "table existed";
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Quote: 726333; Rating: 786; [+|-]
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MasterH: They should make the entire world follow the same timezone. They could have like orbital mirrors which reflect the sun to every corner of the earth.,
MasterH: And have night at the same time.
Faethyr: And nightime would happen How?
MasterH: Turn off the mirorrs
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Quote: 726567; Rating: 4212; [+|-]
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<Ugarte> I think I was 12 at the time, and I was at this girl's house for some kind of party... I think her name was Kate.
<Ugarte> Anyway, at some point she said she wanted to show me something, and brought me alone to her brother's room. She dug under his bed and took out a picture of a woman having sex with a dog. Then she kissed me.
<Ugarte> I'm as confused about this now as I was then.
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Quote: 726941; Rating: 547; [+|-]
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<Andymc> lawl 156 photos on my phone...
<Andymc> but i don't have a fuxxing way to get them onto the comp... need a bluetooth dock or summat
<GriM> peel them off and re-apply glue? Perhaps a mild solvent to loosen the sticky?
<Andymc> You should apply for a job at Dell...
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Quote: 727158; Rating: 1060; [+|-]
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(+GamerTony) is it bad when you and your fiancee start eating the same things?
(@arfer) if it's pussy, yes
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Quote: 727320; Rating: 402; [+|-]
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<TuorSirfalas> I tried using my sis's G5 powerbook or something
<Cloud02> she has a mac? poor thing.
<TuorSirfalas> she bought it for the logo
<TuorSirfalas> her words, not mine
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Quote: 727509; Rating: 1239; [+|-]
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<karrde> i asked Windows to delete 36 000 files from a directory, and i ve already waited for 15 minutes and nothing resultes...
<LoL> it is preparing 36 000 "are you sure?" windows
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Quote: 727689; Rating: 212; [+|-]
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<SaintAlvus> I wrote a book on an object that lets you accelerate the passage of time.
<Bean> What was it called?
<SaintAlvus> Bong Mechanics
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Quote: 727758; Rating: 719; [+|-]
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<ToxicFrog> My gaming machine is running 2k at the moment, but I may have to downgrade to XP in the near future, or make it a dual boot.
<LogiForce> Downgrade to XP ? :S
<LogiForce> 2k is older then XP. It is called upgrading.
<ToxicFrog> LogiForce: going from "bad" to "worse" is not an upgrade even if "worse" was released after "bad".
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Quote: 727984; Rating: 898; [+|-]
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<stoertebeker> fleshlights make me want to puke
<RifleEyes> you're not supposed to deepthroat them
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Quote: 728190; Rating: 2080; [+|-]
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<Folkomo> So in class today we were playing guesstures or password- one of those games you have to guess a word or phrase- my friend apparently got T.V., but I didn't know that. He got up and said "Back in my Grandma's days, these used to only be black and white."
<Folkomo> I fucked up and said "water fountains" outloud.
<Folkomo> ...thats why I got detention.
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Quote: 728569; Rating: -181; [+|-]
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<raven^> What do I chmod a directory with to make it accessable from the web?
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Quote: 728751; Rating: 3271; [+|-]
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<ehFk> so today in class Mr. Frank was like "Guys, turn to page 404...."
<ehFk> me being a smartass say "Sir.... I can't find it"
<ehFk> "Michael, It is page 404"
<ehFk> "SIR! I CAN'T FIND IT!"
<ehFk> I spent the next two minutes explaining to my class what 404 meant
<ehFk> and they all looked at me like I was the biggest fucking nerd EVER
<TheTik> wow... speechless.
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Quote: 728958; Rating: -980; |
<Mulcibre> I just had a case of deja jew
<Mulcibre> I'd swear I've seen this $20 bill somewhere before
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Quote: 729203; Rating: 993; [+|-]
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<dogs> we use IPv7 now
<dogs> it's pretty much IPv6, but the headers contain porn
<dogs> saves bandwidth
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Quote: 729283; Rating: 1379; [+|-]
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Trev: dang baby did i tell u that u looked FINE today!
Trev: u looked likea dime
Trev: that was so sexy i just couldnt stand it
Grace: thanks trevor, you're lying
Trev: nooooo u were beautiful
Grace: trevor I was absent today
Trev: o
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Quote: 729367; Rating: 809; [+|-]
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<skulk> why the hell is wrestling on the scifi channel?
<skulk> that's like MTV playing music videos
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Quote: 729896; Rating: 1130; [+|-]
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<archaios> I WAS A VIRGIN TIL 21
<poonTheta> archaios i thought you are 20 :|
<archaios> poonTheta: I am still a virgin
<archaios> I expect to get laid next year
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Quote: 729937; Rating: 247; [+|-]
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<Erodice> 1 time last year we just had freezing rain and people where goin' 60-70 mps over the bridge form where i live to the main city New Bern. you never seen so many morons slipin' an' swervin' and wouldn't anyone slow down it was insane
<Bligyith> On the fire department we call those return customers
<Bligyith> ...well not really, but I do
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Quote: 729963; Rating: 547; [+|-]
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<Kirkburn> Shouldn't RCs be called Gamma?
<Maldivia> in Microsoft's case: RC = Alpha, Release = Beta, Service Pack 1 = RC, Service Pack 2 = Release
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Quote: 730297; Rating: 1059; [+|-]
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<astrix> theres a little clip on the side of your drive
<@KiNgDeeM|AFKish> jumpers
<astrix> theres 3 options, master, slave and something else
<@KiNgDeeM|AFKish> cable select
<@Cyan> master, slave, and "likes to watch"
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Quote: 730921; Rating: 280; [+|-]
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<error27> Assertion: token is identifier of typedef or open "(" of arg list of typedef'd pointer to function
<error27> programmers always wonder why people punch them in the neck
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Quote: 731050; Rating: -71; [+|-]
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<ter> america is the melting pot, canada is the lukewarm mug
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Quote: 731100; Rating: 384; [+|-]
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<nitekrawler> I was taking a piss, and my toliet suddenly flushes it self.
<damageisking> maybe it was japanese
<nitekrawler> I dont think toliets have ethnic races
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Quote: 731134; Rating: 229; [+|-]
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<+Acksaw> how do you get 100 babies in a bucket?
<+crank> 100?
<+Acksaw> with a blender.
<+crank> auch
<+Acksaw> how do you get them back out?
<+crank> i dunno
<+Acksaw> with doritos
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Quote: 731378; Rating: 772; [+|-]
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<Chrtsalid^Revenge> I spent about 45 minutes watching concerned neighbours and some maintenance workers dismantling a drainpipe in order to save a kitten today,
<Chrtsalid^Revenge> And ten minutes of porn later, their effort was wasted.
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Quote: 731432; Rating: 402; [+|-]
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<wankel> i think high-end computer hardware manufacturers should have to pay an extra tax, which gets sent to the game developers. we all know that people who pirate video games spend their savings buying fancy computers.
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Quote: 731712; Rating: 971; [+|-]
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<embrace> Hi
<embrace> How do i download guys?
<Frogworm> wouldn't you rather download girls instead?
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Quote: 731734; Rating: 3226; [+|-]
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<NaStyChoC> hey babe asl?
<sweetangelic> hi, 14/f/aus ^^
<NaStyChoC> ive a real big cock..
<sweetangelic> o how big??
<NaStyChoC> 9in
<sweetangelic> dats prty big, mines only 8
<NaStyChoC> ok
<NaStyChoC> wait wtf
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Quote: 732090; Rating: 314; [+|-]
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<lemmonza> OK, So I was watching some gangster film on BET last night
<lemmonza> And they showed this commercial obviously for kids
<lemmonza> Just as i was wondering why they would show a commercial for kids this late at night during such a violent movie
<lemmonza> I realized two things
<lemmonza> One: It was a commercial for kool-aid
<lemmonza> Two: I was watchin BET
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Quote: 732261; Rating: 546; [+|-]
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< muon > I wish someone would invent a decent packing tape dispenser
< Cyd > I'm telling you, a simple ball gag is not that expensive
< muon > try explaining to a cop why you're hanging around a middle school with a ball gag dumbass
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Quote: 732404; Rating: 569; [+|-]
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<Weregoose> I had to fill in these spaces (........ .....) with a phrase associated with "murder" and "alternative". Apparently, "elevator music" wasn't an acceptable answer.
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Quote: 732443; Rating: 521; [+|-]
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TheLegendofMouse> You know when you drive by those amusement parks, sometimes they have those slides shaped like the titanic?
TsunamiNoAi> Thats kind of macabre isnt it?
TheLegendofMouse> Let me find a picture of one
TsunamiNoAi> does this mean in 100 years there will be a WTC: The Ride bungee jumping?
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Quote: 732536; Rating: 1823; [+|-]
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<El_Pompo> what would be the best language to build a crawler in?
<Emetri> jawa.
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Quote: 732606; Rating: 455; [+|-]
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<bennyb73> People who abuse animals should be shot in the face.
<29fps> If I can kick an animal's ass, then that's natural selection at work right there, baby. We were put on this planet to conquer, and today's pansy-ass hippies are nothing but a disappointment in God's eyes.
<29fps> What do you think the guy at the golden gates is checking under your name in his big book when you're standing in line? How many puppies you've kicked in your life, that's what.
<ksaintdouble> Isn't it the pearly gates? Or are you talking about that homeless guy who stands in front of SanFran yelling?
<bennyb73> If that doesn't sound like God, I don't know what does.
<29fps> IT'S WHATEVER GATES THE GOOD LORD WANTS, PEARLY GATES, GOLDEN GATES, BILL GATES, WHATEVER.
<Valvados> If it's Bill Gates I really think I'd rather go to hell.
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Quote: 732709; Rating: 952; [+|-]
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Houdini: I have a couple of modems on "long term loan" from work :)
[ape crap]: yer, so do i. then i lent them out to friends on ebay.
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Quote: 732717; Rating: 382; [+|-]
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<blazeboy>you dont have to be willing
<blazeboy>only unwilling to file charges
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Quote: 733034; Rating: 265; [+|-]
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<Ward> man, at work I had to demo Vista for some customers
<Ward> and I was like, MAN VISTAS SO AWESOME
<Ward> but XP is so much easier to use
<Burty> wtf dude, you've been using XP for what.. 5 years?
<Burty> thats like going from vag to anal
<Burty> sure it feels different
<Burty> and its a bit hard to get into at the start
<Burty> but its true merit shines after a few trys
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Quote: 733088; Rating: 2088; [+|-]
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<chilomen> *Now Playing: bathtub_lesbians.avi*
<zeddevil2> rofl dude i didnt need to know that
<chilomen> oh shit
<chilomen> lol :S ill change it
<chilomen> *Now Playing: nsync_tearin_up_my_heart.mp3*
<zeddevil2> ...
<zeddevil2> go back to the lesbians
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Quote: 733200; Rating: 636; [+|-]
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<Jonathan> So, let's assume I have a display connected via DVI.
<jimmy> yes jonathan your porno will be crystal clear
<Jonathan> jimmy: but I like my porno to be all smeary and blurry like I'm in an adult theater with some fat smelly guy pulling his crank behind my seat!
<jimmy> then you need to use the native windows drivers for your video card
<Jonathan> Okay, thanks.
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Quote: 733328; Rating: 250; [+|-]
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<danbee> Ah well. I'm going for a shower in my new rave bathroom.
<weealan> rave bathroom??
<danbee> Aye. The bulb is on the fritz.
<danbee> So now I get an epileptic fit every time I go for a piss.
<danbee> It's... messy.
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