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Quote: 668964; Rating: 1881; [+|-]
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<syc> buddy of mine licked a motherboard once while the machine was running
<syc> no problems
<Skiz> I disagree
<Skiz> your friend has problems
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Quote: 669058; Rating: 2802; [+|-]
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WindMage1: my cat already had kittens a month ago
WindMage1: we took her in to get fixed, and they're like "We can't... she's pregnant"
WindMage1: and I said "That bitch said she was on the pill!"
WindMage1: and then there was very awkward silence in the vet's office
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Quote: 669166; Rating: 129; [+|-]
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<roric23> i just pulled an elastic thread out of my sock and now I'm flossing with it :)
<Pace|Around> yay for Sock Floss
<rigelIsGood> Dude, that is kinda gross.
<roric23> well, yeah. it does sort of have that sock-like flavor to it
<roric23> not that I taste socks for a living or anything
<Pace|Around> Well, if you ever want to, you now have something to put on your resume
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Quote: 669403; Rating: 1885; [+|-]
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(@damned) one time, my mom asked me if she copied something, and then unplugged the mouse and plugged it into another computer she could paste it
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Quote: 669417; Rating: 36; [+|-]
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phoenix8634: are you legally downloading music yet or no?
TwiztidTown: ROFL
TwiztidTown: what is that?
phoenix8634: k ill take that as a no
TwiztidTown: you can LEGALLY DOWNLOAD MUSIC?
TwiztidTown: LOL AND ALL THIS TIME I WAS DOING IT FOR FREE
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Quote: 669587; Rating: 3968; [+|-]
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<Argentius> I fell asleep again in class today...
<Darkersun> that sucks man, what did the teacher do?
<Argentius> I am the teacher >.<
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Quote: 669622; Rating: 765; [+|-]
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<Silly-Wurk> how ironic. Shell Oil claims that using foodcrops to make biofuels would be 'morally inappropriate' as long as there are people starving in the world.
<Taffer> an oil company has morals now?
<Taffer> will they be shipping these foodcrops to starving people in empty oil barrels/tankers?
<WyldWork> Absolutely, along with barrels of unrefined love and good will
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Quote: 669708; Rating: 896; [+|-]
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(+[CSI]ACE-340) anybody want to buy my motorcycle and then loan me $3500
(@Ic3x^) what kind of motorcycle
(+[CSI]ACE-340) gsx-r1100
(@Ic3x^) erm, not my style... I don't like speed bikes
(+[CSI]ACE-340) it can go slow too
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Quote: 669735; Rating: 979; [+|-]
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<veryinky> Personally I'd rather be adopted. Since it would mean that I was picked instead of randomly produced.
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Quote: 669898; Rating: 1441; [+|-]
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whatshisname: Why does the media insist on calling intelligent design an 'alternative' to the theory of evolution?
That's like saying pancakes are a good alternative to an internal combustion engine.
What units do you use for measuring Godliness?
mediaho: Cleanliness?
whatshisname: I was thinking more along the lines of Jehovahwatts: "It took 47.3 Jehovahwatts to turn that water into wine"
MrNeutron: "Wha. . . what the hell is a Jehovahwatt"
Smallberries: About 103 Jews.
pwhp_67: Are Jehovawatts metric?
jimmyhaha: Commie.
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Quote: 669946; Rating: 152; [+|-]
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<Gabe> lol i didnt like the diary of anne frank
<FraudulentTommah> if anne frank was alive today would she make a livejournal
<Super_Moogle> The Livejournal of Anne Frank
<Super_Moogle> "Mood: Happy :))"
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Quote: 669947; Rating: 348; [+|-]
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<Neal[CoNWork]> Not everyone's goal in life is to malign you
<DarkPaladin> Your's seems to be
<Neal[CoNWork]> Yeah, but I said "Not everyone's"
<Neal[CoNWork]> That doesn't mean nobody
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Quote: 669955; Rating: -1300; [+|-]
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<Pbob> you know what would be awesome
<Pbob> Get a bunch of jews, herd them into a shower
<Pbob> And then gas them
<Pbob> With that funny voice stuff
<Pbob> HAHA
<Pbob> They would be like I'M GONNA DIE sounding like crazy cartoon charatcers
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Quote: 669961; Rating: 2957; [+|-]
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<WeirdBeard> well my dad is icelandic, my mother is cuban
<WeirdBeard> i'm an icecube
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Quote: 669963; Rating: 2473; [+|-]
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* | gets lazy
* | is now known as _
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Quote: 669969; Rating: 877; [+|-]
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<mocker> I just need to do more than play video games on my day off
<Homeworld> but playing games is awesome
<mocker> I wanna play RL sometime
<Homeworld> rl is boring
<Astorite> RL doesn't have enough upgrades.
<mocker> RL has tons of upgrades, they are just much much harder to get
<mocker> and not as fun
<Astorite> Well, yeah, I guess it's just a lot harder to gain XP and GP.
<mocker> I need to find myself a 'sploit
<Astorite> They've got some, but the Mods are hella anal about 'em.
<Astorite> They're all like, "Crack isn't a legal income producer." or "You have to go to College to say you know how to do that skillset."
<mocker> they are just power-trippin mods jeez
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Quote: 669982; Rating: 1182; [+|-]
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<Awaken> this is pissing me off
<Awaken> i have some windows updates that just HAVE to restart my fucking computer
<{RANT}> :(
* MaxPower ([email protected]) Quit (hub.efnet.us ircd.he.net.)
* {Bitch} ([email protected]) Quit (hub.efnet.us ircd.he.net.)
* aliensoup ([email protected]) Quit (hub.efnet.us ircd.he.net.)
* Jing|es ([email protected]) Quit (hub.efnet.us ircd.he.net.)
* Ladywork ([email protected]) Quit (hub.efnet.us ircd.he.net.)
* TostigAFK ([email protected]) Quit (hub.efnet.us ircd.he.net.)
<Mr_Power> his computer is the EFnet server?
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Quote: 670048; Rating: 938; [+|-]
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( Tranks ) when i try to go on my webcam it says 'Sorry you have no video capture hardware' << whats that o.0 /q
( Voltage ) I thought the police told you to stop using webcam after you got caught flashing to 13 year old bisexual boys
( Tranks ) I havnt bin caught
( Voltage ) so you do flash to 13 year old boys
Tranks has left #Cyber
( Fr0r3 ) Voltage you prick i didnt get his msn
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Quote: 670063; Rating: 216; [+|-]
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<JohnMaron7> JaySea We believe that the Apostles at the Last Supper were not drinking wine, for Jesus said to them "This is My BLOOD".
<JaySea> JohnMaron7: "Oh no! There's blood in my alcohol system!"
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Quote: 670077; Rating: -160; [+|-]
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Baumann: you're like... british and stuff, right
Kevin Smith: like....and stuff, yes
Baumann: so you know soccer?
Baumann: I know, that's like saying "You're american, right? ...so you're fat."
Kevin Smith: football
Kevin Smith: vaguely
Baumann: Pay attention to the world cup any?
Kevin Smith: there's a world cup?
Baumann: you don't think the world just floats in space, do you?
Kevin Smith: pretty much
Baumann: Everyone knows that it sits in a cup
Baumann: That's why no one lives in antartica
Baumann: ...or something
Kevin Smith: right
Baumann: Well, I'm just pissed that Zidane got the golden ball
Kevin Smith: ok, I have no idea what the golden ball is
Kevin Smith: but it sounds impractical
Baumann: yeah, they don't even actually use it
Baumann: man... now I want to visit antarctica
Kevin Smith: \o/
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Quote: 670081; Rating: -160; [+|-]
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<tomalak> you still appear to be under 12 months of age
<tomalak> btw putting your age in your nick is very immature
<@argv[0]> yes tom, im 0 years old
<tomalak> AND A DAY
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Quote: 670118; Rating: 477; [+|-]
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<ChaoSynergy> BODY MASSAAGE!
<ChaoSynergy> Where'd that extra 'a' come from
<narunet> My ass
<axiel> you mean your ss
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Quote: 670120; Rating: 480; [+|-]
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atria ventric: so my life is complete
Crikers042: whys that?
atria ventric: because today
atria ventric: i heard two gay guys shopping for a vaccuum
atria ventric: 'but i bet this one sucks better'
atria ventric: 'but this one will go for longer'
atria ventric: 'go longer? what for? you get dirty you take it out you turn it on and you're done'
atria ventric: 'i mean its fun while it lasts sure but its nothing serious'
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Quote: 670121; Rating: 2159; [+|-]
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<sigafoo> i realized i loved my girlfriend when i said to her
<sigafoo> <3
<sigafoo> and she said "<3.14159265" back...
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Quote: 670129; Rating: 1036; [+|-]
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<Dooley>omg </3
<Mstandot>What does that smiley represent?
<mictoboy>a vasectomy
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Quote: 670270; Rating: 946; [+|-]
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PinkBabe571: i have to beat guys off with a stick
PinkBabe571: =/
ALLSTAR4212: just beat them off with your hands
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Quote: 670334; Rating: 687; [+|-]
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JakerzInc> so here i am
JakerzInc> logging into irc
JakerzInc> and the first thing I see is "hard throbbing cock"
Anfael> that's normal, that's how you know it works
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Quote: 670335; Rating: 2051; [+|-]
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John423: I love her with all my <3.
Acsabh: You love her with all your less than 3? Inches?
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Quote: 670375; Rating: 15303; [+|-]
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<JonTG> Man, my penis is so big if I laid it out on a keyboard it'd go all the way from A to Z
<JonTG> wait, shit
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Quote: 670420; Rating: 749; [+|-]
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<shyster> the other day
<shyster> my girlfriend asked me about my wildest fantasies
<shyster> I probably shouldn't have told her they all involved other women
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Quote: 670444; Rating: 467; [+|-]
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<impl> If I were a cow and getting assraped, I wouldn't just be thinking
<crimsun> you'd be using emacs.
<crimsun> woops, ECHANNEL
<iank> That doesn't make sense, but it sounds like he's making fun of emacs so I like it.
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Quote: 670448; Rating: 18; [+|-]
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<Miri> Can I give you an e-hug?
<Jade_Work> yes of course Miri >.>
* Miri e-hugs Jade
<Rollyn> I want an e-mug
<Jade_Work> with e-coffee? :P
<Rollyn> So I could sip my e-soda
<Rollyn> Until I've had more than e-nough
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Quote: 670450; Rating: 237; [+|-]
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<balls> my sister is an idiot
<balls> my dad was doing something with our phones, so he called my brother (who was at work) to turn off his cell phone. this WHOLE TIME my sister is right at his side. so when hes done, he tells my sister to call my brother and tell him that its ok to turn his cell phone on. so she calls his cell phone, walks
into the room and goes "hes not picking up, so i left a message"
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Quote: 670471; Rating: 12; [+|-]
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<loo> every fucking bj should be two-handed
<mit3> actually it pretty much depends.
<mit3> like what if you ask the girl to choke herself.
<mit3> you gotta pick your poison
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Quote: 670637; Rating: 178; [+|-]
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<Lucy> Anyways... Like no one is online coz it's friday and everyone is doing stuff and it's not fucking fair coz I wasn't invited.
<OnslaughtSix> Aww.
<Lucy> Yeah, that's right!
<Lucy> So you have to be nice to me!
<OnslaughtSix> brb
<OnslaughtSix> Sorry, I had to get my violin to play you a sad song on.
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Quote: 670728; Rating: 374; [+|-]
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<Blarrrg> Holy shit, best idea for a doormat ever.
<Blarrrg> 10 HOME
<Blarrrg> 20 SWEET
<Blarrrg> 30 GOTO 10
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Quote: 670911; Rating: 799; [+|-]
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<Sic> I seen a story about a guy who took the horse cock up the ass but it was angled so it pushed in all the way, he died from internal bleeding.. There was a whole video. :p
<LLora> your ass is designed for poop
<LLora> not for horse cock
<antek> i wonder what the last thing going through his head was
<antek> BESIDES A HORSE'S COCK
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Quote: 670925; Rating: 1002; [+|-]
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<Lapsus> Okay, I get an error beep, anyone want to help me decipher it?
<Lapsus> it's just regular, long beeps.
<Lapsus> beeeeeeep. beeeeeeeep...
<Fox> its gaydar. it must be picking up on a local source
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Quote: 671042; Rating: 319; [+|-]
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handler.: germans like american wrestlers
nos-spec: yeah cause american wrestlers look like german girls
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Quote: 671062; Rating: 413; [+|-]
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<Phroziac> why do they make such huge suvs?
<Phroziac> i went to a car dealership today and saw one with a hood that was higher than the roof on my friend's volvo.
<Phroziac> and it's an OL, it's not like it's a small car.
<Dawson> At the rate they're going, there will be SUVs big enough to use Hummer H1s as escape pods.
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Quote: 671126; Rating: 487; [+|-]
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<Mandi> why can't I find the picture I want
<Borgs> that's because the governement closes those sites and procecute people who download those sorts of pictures
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Quote: 671221; Rating: 494; [+|-]
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<Vermilion> So I was pushing a Laserjet in a handtruck, and then I saw this lady pushing a baby in a stroller, and suddenly I felt like such a loser.
|
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Quote: 671254; Rating: 112; [+|-]
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<fichen973> Your porn is so old that the women in the pictures have offspring with their own porn sites.
|
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Quote: 671620; Rating: 836; [+|-]
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<fiednmade> also before last year of my mom accusing me of being crazy for talking to people over the internet
<fiednmade> she thought I wasn't really talking to other people
<fiednmade> but to myself in some sort of game
<fiednmade> and I got medicated and placed in an institution for three months
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Quote: 671747; Rating: 188; [+|-]
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<Chichi> have u ever been up to neck in pussy?
<Ree Cakes> Yeah, when you stand by me.
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Quote: 671819; Rating: 578; [+|-]
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<Grover> On my linux box, I once swapped out the motherboard, put in a new video card, doubled the RAM, installed a CD burner, installed a RAID array of (6) 200GB SATA Drives, and overclocked the CPU without ever rebooting it
<Rusty> Didn't you reboot it a few weeks ago?
<Grover> Yeah, I had to reboot to install my Thumb Drive
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Quote: 671860; Rating: 1241; [+|-]
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TheMan: Can one person type !add 2+2?
Node: !add 2+2
Aranjedeath: it dont work
Aranjedeath: yeah
Zabikten: $calc(2+2)
Zabikten: hm
Node: !add 2+2
Zabikten: dude
Zabikten: it's fucking 4
Zabikten: why do you need a calculator?
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Quote: 672030; Rating: 274; [+|-]
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<BackF> like a month ago, i moved my mousepad to the left of the keyboard
<BackF> to practice, i wanted to switch mouse-hand.
<BackF> so, when i got used to it, i went and bought a lefthandmouse
<BackF> i spent 2 hours wondering why i was rightclicking all the time
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Quote: 672235; Rating: 834; [+|-]
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<Method> good evening gentlemen.
<Method> would you like to play a game?
<Method> It's called "guess what intoxicated state I'm in".
<Method> It's really fun.
<Method> on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being the least, 2 being the most, and 10 being somewhere around the middle...
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Quote: 672497; Rating: 659; [+|-]
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<equiraptor> Sheesh. A hardware review site has been blocked as pornography!
<equiraptor> I guess our sysadmins really must be geeks...
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