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Quote: 544203; Rating: 869; [+|-]
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<atrus> i worked on a project once where somebody named variables defined in various places explicity so on one line of code, it showed up as:
<atrus> function_name($all, $urBase, $rBelong, $toUs);
<atrus> closest i've ever come to manslaughter
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Quote: 544452; Rating: 114; [+|-]
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<Antioch> CAPS LOCK IS LIKE CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL.
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Quote: 544637; Rating: 2357; [+|-]
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MasterKayin: Dude, those Kamakazi pilots in WW2 were crazy...
MasterKayin: If they threw me in a plane and told me to go crash into something
MasterKayin: I'd just take off and go somewhere else
MasterKayin: Like on vacation or something along those lines
MasterKayin: I'd go to Hawaii
MasterKayin: Er... wait...
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Quote: 544722; Rating: 462; [+|-]
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<%Justin> lol
<%Justin> I've always wanted to ask a girl for a cron job and see what they would say.
<+Steph> probably, WTF
<%Justin> hmm
<%Justin> Steph, will you give me a cronjob.
<%Justin> Everynight @ 2
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Quote: 545197; Rating: 982; [+|-]
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<Papa_Trousers> you ever think the guys who invented the word sex spelled it that way so we could type it with our left hands?
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Quote: 545495; Rating: 484; [+|-]
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[GmJ] some idiot made a iso of 2 more isos
[GmJ] so when I burned it
[GmJ] there are 2 isos on the cd
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Quote: 546198; Rating: 1042; [+|-]
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<hammergunner> i want to see a big red button one day that read "push here to understand women"
<cccnnn> hammer: yeah that's the withdraw cash button on the ATM machine.
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Quote: 546383; Rating: 387; [+|-]
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<Shiv> really, how can you make a "combatting illiteracy" poster anyway?
<Shiv> make it a map to the library?
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Quote: 546800; Rating: 1138; [+|-]
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<Dogan> but I knew this one mathematician guy in college
<Dogan> he tried to apply for a grant to get funding for his project
<Dogan> and on the form he said his project involved "studying the effects of tropical vacations on mathematicians"
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Quote: 546813; Rating: 935; [+|-]
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<itior> XML is like violence, if it doesn't solve the problem, just use more.
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Quote: 547572; Rating: 735; [+|-]
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Blade Madrigal: Why don't Libraries carry books on suicide?
Ice Sickle: They'd never get returned?
Blade Madrigal: there you go.
Ice Sickle wins.
BanishTheShadowKing: .. Dang. That's the first time I ever saw anyone answer a joke. That's awesome.
HailFire: Neko, you have l337 skills.
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Quote: 548669; Rating: 1562; [+|-]
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(SirJohnny) How do you feel about the US in the middle east?
(Talya) Uhhh
(Talya) They give us money
(Talya) so w00t
(SirJohnny) What if Bush woke up one day, and was like "WE'RE GOING TO INVADE ISRAEL BECAUSE...UHM...LIKE, I THINK THEY HAVE NUCLEAR WEAPONS!" what would you do? XD
(Talya) (we do have nuclear weapons)
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Quote: 548837; Rating: 470; [+|-]
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<rhc> apparently it's rude if
<rhc> somebody asks if you have a light
<rhc> and you reply: "yes, but it's at the end of the tunnel"
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Quote: 549412; Rating: 504; [+|-]
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<AmW> I got rearended by a car with "CARMA" vanity plates today.
<AmW> destiny can't spell.
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Quote: 549598; Rating: 984; [+|-]
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Threatis I'm trying to figure out what "geek" tattoo I'm getting.
khmer Threatis: get <blink> tattooed on your eyelids
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Quote: 549651; Rating: 1066; [+|-]
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<Velk> I have my school pay phones on my cell contact list
<Velk> my friend and I plan to go to New York city and take down as many pay phone numbers as we can
<Velk> and single out a person, and every payphone he passes we'll call
<Velk> just to creep him out
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Quote: 551813; Rating: 2196; [+|-]
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Mike: I had a random thought in the shower just before
Mike: I think I was still half asleep
Mike: if you smacked a kid in the face with a bottle of johnson's no more tears, would it create beautiful irony?
Hopper: ROFL
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Quote: 552501; Rating: 1033; [+|-]
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Keewa: ::buries her head in your shit:: X3
Keewa: ...errr
Keewa: shirt*
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Quote: 553209; Rating: 760; [+|-]
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<timmo> it blows my mind
<timmo> that some people want to just be born, grow up, etc just in one place
<timmo> and not go out and explore the world
<v3dd3r> shutup magellan
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Quote: 553362; Rating: 367; [+|-]
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<pab> dude, how do you know what condom size to get
<pab> I dont want it to be ockward... but I have no idea
<pab> is there a way to view webcam over irc?
<omnica> ....
<omnica> bring the measurements to the pharmicist
<pab> it's 2am...
<omnica> bring measurements to the 7-11 attendant
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Quote: 553790; Rating: 3679; [+|-]
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<Victorian_Skunk> Is there a new virus going around? My Windows has suddenly changed to another language! I think it's Croatian.
<Dan> You Got Serbed!
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Quote: 553813; Rating: 498; [+|-]
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<earmuff-man> Yeah the last plane out of Sydney's almost gone
<earmuff-man> And it's really got me worried
<earmuff-man> I'm goin' nowhere and I'm in a hurry
<earmuff-man> And the last plane out of Sydney's almost gone
<spinifex> earmuff man can i be an op?
<spinifex> just for tonight?
<earmuff-man> ok
<spinifex>
* earmuff-man sets mode: +o spinifex
* ChanServ sets mode: +l 12
<earmuff-man> Well the last plane out of Sydney's almost gone
* earmuff-man was kicked by spinifex (quit your singing bitch)
<spinifex> bahahahhhaa
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Quote: 554294; Rating: 452; [+|-]
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SuperGiddyup222: I just watched an episode of married with children and ate a TV dinner
work it joe: youre living the american dream
work it joe: one heartbreaking piece at a time
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Quote: 554631; Rating: 1184; [+|-]
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<Diamant>I just compleated intercourse with your female parental unit, as they say in the hood.
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Quote: 554632; Rating: 695; [+|-]
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thejew: omg i just found a memory leak that has existed since the dawn of time
PlasmaHH: hm, this would explain why the universe is so big...
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Quote: 554689; Rating: 1744; [+|-]
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Steve: I was buying condoms for a friend of mine at the beach in a drug store
Steve: and I also picked up one of those freezable ice packs cuz I hurt my knee surfing that day
Steve: I put both of the items on teh counter
Steve: the big black guy behind the counter looks at me and says quite loudly
Steve: son, what are you gonna do to that poor girl
Steve: this older couple that was checking out looks at me and then hurries out fo the store
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Quote: 554909; Rating: 67; [+|-]
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<boon> today started out so aweful
<boon> I got up early, poured a bowl of cereal, OJ...I was set. Had 45min until I had to leave for work. I thought I'd go downstairs and grab the laundry from the dryer before I started eating
<boon> I get to the bottom of the stairs and *slam*...the door to my place closes behind me
<boon> SCREWED
<Kammo> oh, no! You had to open the door?!
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Quote: 556104; Rating: 1507; [+|-]
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<themole> I was thinking of quiting my job at target
<soapy> you should look into getting a job at goatse
<soapy> I heard they have a large opening
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Quote: 556673; Rating: 1873; [+|-]
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prettykittikat: Im going 2 the club 2night
Syric 2005: im going 2 lern 2 tipe 2nite 2
prettykittikat: what?
Syric 2005: Exactly
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Quote: 556995; Rating: 584; [+|-]
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<Rev> my house of 1000 corpses download is done
<ix> what a waste of bandwidth
<@Volsus> unless that's a sims expansion pack
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Quote: 557489; Rating: 821; [+|-]
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marksmith101: hello there
Le Steph0rz: hi
marksmith101: wanna cybur??
Le Steph0rz: sure babe asl
marksmith101: 16/m/ca in florida, titusville
Le Steph0rz: 29/f/ca
Le Steph0rz: holy shit man!
marksmith101: oh strip for me babe
marksmith101: wat?
Le Steph0rz: i think i know u!
marksmith101: wtf?
Le Steph0rz: oh shit, its me, ur teacher, ms. stephanie brown!!
Marksmith101 has logged off.
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Quote: 558075; Rating: 1192; [+|-]
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<@RaptorIIC> Error: Too many arguments when calling GirlFriend();
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Quote: 558467; Rating: 1465; [+|-]
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<Canas> your humor pleases only the children and the dim witted
<JackPhantasm> same with your penis
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Quote: 559155; Rating: 395; [+|-]
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Maxim: My alarm clock software demo expired.
Maxim: So I changed the system time by a week, and it worked.
Maxim: But I forgot to change the alarm setting accordingly.
Maxim: So the alarm didn't go off, and I missed the appointment.
Maxim: :-(
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Quote: 560292; Rating: 542; [+|-]
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SleepyDog Two more generations and you'll be able to fit an iPod in your rectum
SleepyDog comfortably
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Quote: 560470; Rating: 433; [+|-]
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<nick> grah windows just crashed again, unstable crap.
<yukito> Windows isn't unstable, it's just spontaneous.
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Quote: 560513; Rating: -6; [+|-]
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tboz86: okay, so... some guy in new york stabbed a 10 month old baby last night that was just hanging out in her stroller
squeamish: was he from New Orleans?
tboz86: idk, but who stabs a 10 month old
kimono: a mental case on drugs
tboz86: seriously, that kid will be scared for life
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Quote: 560540; Rating: 438; [+|-]
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<anarch> A restaurant in northeastern China that advertised illegal tiger meat dishes was found instead to be selling donkey flesh _ marinated in tiger urine, a newspaper reported Thursday.
<anarch> cant wait to go to china!
<Landslide> SOUNDS GRRRRREEEAAT
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Quote: 560559; Rating: 1167; [+|-]
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<VUlpixLover> making fun of people who can't read is intolerable. you shouldn't say anything mean about them.
<NoTruth> Yeah you should write it.
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Quote: 560613; Rating: 646; [+|-]
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<Black_Kniggit> That's nothing compared to back when I played Fallout 2
<Black_Kniggit> I stole the coins from every NPC in the entire game!
<Black_Kniggit> and I didn't just steal it as such, I stole it one coin at a time until I had five coins (unless if I failed in which case I would load my game and try again) then I got 150 exp and saved my game. Then I did it again. This gave me A LOT of exp points.
<Medmera> WTF?
<Black_Kniggit> Sometimes I used the steal skill to give them back money, so I could steal some more
<Medmera> you will lose your virginity in your next life.
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Quote: 560674; Rating: 1275; [+|-]
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GeoffSharron: a spider just hid inside my keyboard
GeoffSharron: and this sentence probably crushed him
GeoffSharron: i think he was under the m key
GeoffSharron: mmmm
GeoffSharron: m key
GeoffSharron: m m m m
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Quote: 560710; Rating: 711; [+|-]
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<andkore> can somebody say something positive the government has done in the past 5 years? please?
<gorn> no, you'd have to go to before bush was elected to see something positive
<JuggaloAnt> when clinton banged that chick?
<gorn> yeah
<gorn> that was positive
<gorn> make love not war
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Quote: 560745; Rating: 44; [+|-]
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<shaine> Siege: kansas' best song is dust in the wind. listen to it
<Siege> k ill download it
<Siege> Haha i accidentally typed in "dst in the wind" in the search box
<Siege> and child pron came up.
<shaine> you must have turned on 'my favorites' or something.
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Quote: 560932; Rating: 365; [+|-]
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<ckoo> haha some lady asked me where she could get headphones so I told her "the source" aka radioshack. She walked outside, turned, and walked straight toward "SOURCE adult video"
<reaper> Ahahahah!
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Quote: 561141; Rating: 1841; [+|-]
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<quadropheniac57> so we're talking about aboriginal symbols in school today
<quadropheniac57> and i tell my group that i read it was bad luck to kill an emu, except i say emo on accident
<quadropheniac57> so i laugh and say "actually, it's pretty good luck to kill an emo"
<quadropheniac57> this girl, overweight, dyed black hair, eyeshadow, not goth but close
<quadropheniac57> says "no, emo is sad. emo is short for emotional"
<quadropheniac57> so i respond "no, emo is short for stupid"
<quadropheniac57> she says "no, it's for emotional. emo people are emotional beings who live that way to relieve their pain"
<quadropheniac57> i say "emo people are self-absorbed attention-seeking idiots who listen to crappy music"
<quadropheniac57> rest of class, she gives me the most dark and depressed death glare
<quadropheniac57> THE WHOLE REST OF CLASS, that's like 45 minutes, she's just death-looking me, not even turning her head
<quadropheniac57> i swear, she's gonna kill herself this weekend, and it's all my fault
<civilpunkbikes> good luck coming your way
<quadropheniac57> amen
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Quote: 561357; Rating: 474; [+|-]
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<Mr_Blud> That looks like a mosquito
<ThunderMax> I hate mosquitos
<ThunderMax> they're like the Jehovah's Witnesses of nature
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Quote: 561386; Rating: 323; [+|-]
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<Ryuhou> bravo is pissing me off with its "movies that changed the world!" crap.
<Ryuhou> they keep saying "men stopped having affairs in 1987 after fatal attraction."
<Ryuhou> i'm sorry. what world are you from?
<Ryuhou> of course
<Ryuhou> they follow that up with a
<Ryuhou> IT STAYS IN VEGAS commercial
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Quote: 561408; Rating: 362; [+|-]
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<Baintz> Wikipedia is now used like the dictionary, meant to be serious but used to look up dirty words
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Quote: 561572; Rating: 147; [+|-]
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<stark> hi guys, anyone got a webpage on how ms exchange works?
<@normal1> sure
<@normal1> <html><title>How MS exchange works</title><head><body> MS EXCHANGE SUCKS ARSE </body></head>
<takeaction> normal1: WOW! I think that's the best explination of exchange I have ever seen...
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Quote: 561675; Rating: 1729; [+|-]
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<Ashley> No, believe me... my job SUCKS.
<Ashley> We have to clock out to go to the bathroom. What kind of shit is that?
<Robert> The kind you don't get paid for.
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