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Quote: 522882; Rating: -127; [+|-]
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<Kitoshi> XD at the end of Ep 3, when they\'re showing Padme\'s funeral
<Kitoshi> my friend Hampton said \"Look! Her stomach\'s big again! They must\'ve stuffed something back in there after the births!\"
<Heath> xD
<Kitoshi> and without a second thought, I respond \"Where do you think Yoda went into hiding?\"
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Quote: 523092; Rating: -335; [+|-]
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Infinitism: saying you've had the best sex without orgasm is like saying you've just cleaned a toilet with the neatest arrangement of shit all over it.
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Quote: 523347; Rating: 994; [+|-]
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<Terror> So, on one of the last days of school we had an assembly in memorial of some guy that graduated from my school that was a gunner on a Humvee and was killed by shrapnel from a roadside bomb in Iraq
<Terror> And when we go back to class, the teacher was asking us what we got out of the service
<Terror> and one kid said "I learned not be the the gunner on a Humvee"
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Quote: 523604; Rating: 512; [+|-]
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<Nirtose> heres some geek for you... You make me hotter than a overclocked, volt-modded Prescott chip with stock heatsink and fan
<@Beaver> omg dude
<Nirtose> thats right
* Beaver has kicked Nirtose Reason(I told you once that im married)
* Nirtose has joined #beaver
<Nirtose> :(
* Beaver has kicked Nirtose Reason(And not gay)
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Quote: 523701; Rating: 171; [+|-]
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<flamebird> using trillian because \"it works with MSN too\" is the same as saying \"well im not going to a strip club tonight, ill just get my mother to give me a lap dance.. shes a woman\" - its true.. but.. NO
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Quote: 524037; Rating: 3367; [+|-]
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steve: whats your opinion on censorship
insomniacdude007: **** censorship
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Quote: 524062; Rating: 2589; [+|-]
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3:pixelsoft> GHB? Don't you go to school?
3:GHB> Today is Saturday
3:pixelsoft> It's Friday
GHB left arena
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Quote: 524110; Rating: 1756; [+|-]
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<RandalCalrissian> Who wrote an essay entitled 'Advice to a Young Man on choosing a Mistress'?
<Jeegoo> Cassanova
<RandalCalrissian> Here's your 1st hint, B___am__ ____k___
<Jeegoo> no idea
<Randal> dr seus
<Jeegoo> hee
<Zwuh> Al Gore
<RandalCalrissian> Here's your 2nd hint, _en_a_in _r_n__i_
<RandalCalrissian> Here's your 3rd hint, B_njami_ Fra__lin
<Zwuh> Benjamin Frankin
<Jeegoo> Benjamn franklin
<Randal> benjamin frankls
<Randal> oop
<Randal> s
<Zwuh> haha
<RandalCalrissian> Time's up! The answer was: Benjamin Franklin
<Zwuh> way to spell, team!
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Quote: 524500; Rating: -264; [+|-]
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TheOrigionalFuzz: this one guy was yelling at me in spanish the other day, so I said "speak a real language or go to hell" and he kept yelling at me, and it was pissing me off, so I flipped him off, so he started chasing me, so I started running, and that's about it
TheOrigionalFuzz: turns out I was on his property
TheOrigionalFuzz: or something
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Quote: 524669; Rating: 279; [+|-]
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<Boo|Marking> Can you think of any reason why IE, on my dad's laptop, won't display animated .gifs ?
<Mirabilis> Because they're disabled in the IE options
<Mirabilis> Other than that, security settings
<Boo|Marking> Hm. I looked for it.
<Boo|Marking> I'll have another lookie-see.
<Donovan> I dunno, Boo|Marking, I have a feeling it may have to do with "Microsoft KB #2383892: Internet Explorer is a Steaming Pile of Shit"
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Quote: 524693; Rating: 1352; [+|-]
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<mikael> people should get beat up, for stating their beliefs
<penisbird> is that your belief?
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Quote: 525051; Rating: 1103; [+|-]
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<Admiral_Payne> One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said she was almost out of typing paper, and asked she should do
<Admiral_Payne> "just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her
<Admiral_Payne> You know what she did?
<Admiral_Payne> she took her last remaining blank piece of typing paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five copies
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Quote: 525085; Rating: 1894; [+|-]
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DBO: the guy in the middle lane is blasting his music full blast
DBO: so loud I cant hear my own music with the windows up
DBO: I mean really FREAKING loud
DBO: I look over at him and give him a nasty look
DBO: and then I see something on the car on the other side of him
DBO: its a note
DBO: written on cardboard
DBO: help up against the window
Muz: Yes...and?
DBO: "You music sucks, your stereo is too damn loud, and I'm sorry you have a tiny penis"
DBO: he turned it down after that
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Quote: 525122; Rating: 1705; [+|-]
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<monarch> the other day i skipped church and went to get something to eat at 7-11
<monarch> i paid with a 10 and recieved $6.66 in change.
<monarch> am i going to hell?
<qbert> almost certainly
<monarch> fuck
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Quote: 525158; Rating: 1520; [+|-]
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(XisXisXis): I wanna find an old Star Wars pinball machine
(XisXisXis): just so I can hear Yoda say, "Extra Ball, you have"
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Quote: 525423; Rating: 1349; [+|-]
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<uZi`> i got a photographic memory
<uZi`> :/
<Grimmeehh> cool
<Grimmeehh> porn on demand
<uZi`> mainly for numbers tho
<Grimmeehh> o
<uZi`> only ascii porn
<uZi`> :(
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Quote: 525428; Rating: 468; [+|-]
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[phuong]: zim: smoking harms ur baby
[somdomy]: how does smoking hurt your laptop?
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Quote: 525429; Rating: 121; [+|-]
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<PinkLady> Seen pussygirl pop in and out, but never speak.
<PinkLady> Man, that didn't sound right at all.
<Shiffer-Brains> I think you had her confused with dickman
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Quote: 525433; Rating: 398; [+|-]
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<Breserk> I love your humour :D
<ErectuZ> I love your balls
<Breserk> :/
<ErectuZ> you seen Team America?
<Breserk> Physically?
<Breserk> Nope.
<ErectuZ> oh
<ErectuZ> then that miht have sounded a bit perverted
<Breserk> Yes.
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Quote: 525435; Rating: -127; [+|-]
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<ChunkyQ> The man's a whore. His balls have seen more chins than a Chinese FedEx employee.
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Quote: 525436; Rating: -204; |
* Quits: Indonesia (Ezcess Flood)
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Quote: 525439; Rating: 851; [+|-]
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<Darth_Blade> Wow.
<Darth_Blade> Word crashes whenever I try to quote the constitution article about human rights. Conspiracy theories anyone? %)
<aetherspoon> heh
<Darth_Blade> But it's really really weird.
<aetherspoon> try openoffice. It only crashes when you quote Microsoft License Agreements. :P
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Quote: 525444; Rating: -92; [+|-]
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<d0ppy> I just had an idea
<d0ppy> If I spray cheese into a condom....
<cdkj> :/
<d0ppy> I can actually have sex with easy cheese
<cdkj> get a girlfriend please
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Quote: 525446; Rating: -508; [+|-]
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<G-nius> Yeah, but smoking is for girls who don't get sex o.o
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Quote: 525567; Rating: 1057; [+|-]
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a_spank_horses: Bro
i_spank_horses: I was driving in a passenger seat of my friends car
i_spank_horses: piss wasted
i_spank_horses: He was driving like 45 mph
i_spank_horses: And there was a mexican guy getting in a truck
i_spank_horses: Close to my side
i_spank_horses: I stuck my hand out the window and smacked his ass
i_spank_horses: and he screamed so loud
i_spank_horses: he thought he got shot
i_spank_horses: I hurt my elbow
i_spank_horses: It was so sick
muzzleflashed: AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
i_spank_horses: I couldn't breahte for 2 days
i_spank_horses: funniest thing ive ever done
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Quote: 525930; Rating: -35; [+|-]
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<Ali_mastah> so our exam finishes and i go to hand my paper in about 2 mins late, and the tite-arsed teacher says "sorry no more exams to be handed in it's too late you get zero" so i go "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!" and she goes all cocky and says "no, i do not" so i go "good" i pick up the papers and slid my exam in
somewhere in the middle of them all.
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Quote: 526017; Rating: -449; [+|-]
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<KOMPRESSOR> guess what i got
<KOMPRESSOR> i got a 100 dollar cigar
<Lurch> wow, don\'t spend it all in one place
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Quote: 526124; Rating: 886; [+|-]
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< teferi> I lost the office pool
< teferi> damn
<+res0> aww, no more swimming at work
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Quote: 526144; Rating: 1427; [+|-]
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<Adjaro> i hate the internet
<Adjaro> i have spent 15 minutes looking for george bush with a lightsaber
<Adjaro> and have found NOTHING
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Quote: 526250; Rating: 179; [+|-]
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Roi: That's all you have to say? Some Dutch minor is hitting on me and you say "see you tomorrow"? Man, don't ever work for the suicide prevention hotline.
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Quote: 526398; Rating: 1866; [+|-]
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<@PaulGonegooley> I just opened the box for my new harddrive
<@PaulGonegooley> it smells like victory
<malicious> the fuck it does
<malicious> opening a new pack of MTG cards.
<malicious> that smells like victory.
<@PaulGonegooley> that smells like never getting laid, ever
<@PaulGonegooley> that's what that smells like
<malicious> fuck you :(
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Quote: 526546; Rating: -565; [+|-]
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[dark-force] how long is a second?
[[RAA]Ajarn] rofl
[dark-force] ?
[[RAA]Ajarn] that's priceless
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Quote: 526775; Rating: 1029; [+|-]
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<Divarin> that's the thing about binary humor
<Divarin> it either IS funny, or it's NOT
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Quote: 526888; Rating: 562; [+|-]
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<Algorithms> I bet you could pay a person from india to act as an IRC bot for you, for less than a shell account to run an eggdrop.
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Quote: 526916; Rating: 1813; [+|-]
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<mooman> so i saw this number plate on some ricer car today... YAG-108
<mooman> except i saw it in my rear view mirror, so it looked like BOI-GAY
<mooman> i nearly hit the car in front from laughing so hard :/
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Quote: 526984; Rating: 972; [+|-]
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Cooler1011: can you explain to me why i need to format and/or partition this disc?
Cooler1011: It does not make sense to me.
mrrc00: imagine a giant room
mrrc00: now, throw millions upon millions of identical things into the room
mrrc00: now these things can be used to make larger things, but only if they have some order to them
mrrc00: a filesystem, which you create by formatting, orders those bits
Cooler1011: yo, get a job
Cooler1011: you're qualified
Cooler1011: that really sounds like it came right out of PC Magazine
mrrc00: oh, I'm not surprised
mrrc00: I was pulling it out my ass, after all
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Quote: 527027; Rating: 313; [+|-]
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hbkshowstopper75: For only 15 grand, we could have our own music veriety show. it could be revolutionary televison even it its on at 2am
hbkshowstopper75: i was just pondering the idea today
ianepson: need 15k first
ianepson: and if we saved that much up i can think of much better uses
hbkshowstopper75: it\'s only one thousand 500 dollars
ianepson: uh
ianepson: yea u could buy urself a calculator with whats left over
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Quote: 527101; Rating: 2325; [+|-]
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<remial> gah...
<remial> I was visiting my college roommate earlier today...
<remial> his ex-GF and his daughter were there...
<remial> they were in the other room watching cartoons or something...
<remial> and my friend asked me how my life was going, and I told him that things wre OK but it felt like there was some sort of consperacy to keep me from getting laid...
<remial> his ex GF immediatly calls someone on her Cel phone and says "He knows"
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Quote: 527125; Rating: 2173; [+|-]
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onslaught86: Your spelling's so bad your blood must be type-o.
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Quote: 527688; Rating: 970; [+|-]
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<Beaph> Whatcha gonna make?
<Alacard2k> Spaghetti, beef stroganoff, or tacos. I don\'t feel like the chicken tonight.
<Beaph> Mmm... Beef Strokin\' off.
<Alacard2k> well it\'s down to two now
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Quote: 528007; Rating: 1485; [+|-]
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<@Aprentice> girls who fuck animals should be put in a mental institute
<Rjx> or on TV
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Quote: 529537; Rating: 3427; [+|-]
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<mattb> funeral was for my uncle
<[OmegentooX]> Did he die?
<mattb> that seems to be the popular opinion
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Quote: 529570; Rating: 346; [+|-]
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<LUEshi> What's the default font of the GameFAQs forums?
<Sexy_Truck> Braille.
<LUEshi> ...
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Quote: 529651; Rating: 988; [+|-]
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benjiwenji07: this one time i saw a 40 foot tall wrench
benjiwenji07: and that was the biggest tool id ever seen until i met john genz
blahdy78: thats weird because this one time i saw this 40 foot tall wench
blahdy78: and that was the biggest whore i ever saw till i met your mom
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Quote: 532384; Rating: 840; [+|-]
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<s7|eelektrix> want to scrim with us?
<s7|eelektrix> Vin Diesel challenged everyone in the sub-continent of India to an arm-wrestling match. After humiliating that nation's finest arm wrestling warriors, an Indian holy man placed a curse on Vin Diesel, which is why he doesn't have a single hair on his body. But when Vin Diesel saved India from a tsunami
by delivering a stand-up routine so hilarious the tsunami shook apart with laughter, the holy man rewarded Vin with the secret of morphing into an alpaca, and the secret of cooking the perfect terducken. It is from Vin Diesel's personal kitchen that John Madden purchases his annual terducken.
<s7|eelektrix> oops
<s7|eelektrix> dont mind that
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Quote: 533207; Rating: 1812; [+|-]
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<Metalcore> works now, though
<Metalcore> it's just because I have shitty internet
<Metalcore> fast as hell
<Metalcore> but stable as a refrigerator balanced on a coke bottle
<Metalcore> in hurricane force winds
<Metalcore> on a 45 degree slope
<Metalcore> of teflon
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Quote: 533472; Rating: 2192; [+|-]
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<yoozer> the speed of sound is defined by the distance from door to computer divided by the time interval needed to close the media player and pull up your pants when your mom shouts "OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING"
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Quote: 533510; Rating: 2252; [+|-]
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LiQuIDsCyThE1: Like the Mallard Duck and Peacock, the wigger male will go to great lengths to secure a mate. This young wigger, for instance, has donned a vibrant all pink outfit to ensure success during the mating season. In this case, the flamboyant color scheme serves the dual purpose of both helping him get
noticed by females in heat and distracting other males who will be too busy beating his ass to steal any of his mates. A borderline suicidal strategy, but successful nonetheless.
ElPikachupacabra: who the hell are you, and what the hell was that
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Quote: 533617; Rating: 1081; [+|-]
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<Boxthor> They call me Hadoken 'cause I'm down-right fierce.
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Quote: 534933; Rating: 2352; [+|-]
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<AnonymousPosterChild> oh god
<AnonymousPosterChild> I just messaged a chick on okcupid saying how I thought she was kinda hot AND SHES 13
<AnonymousPosterChild> oh god
<AnonymousPosterChild> Shes 13 AND she thinks shes a lesbian
<AnonymousPosterChild> this is the least appropriate erection EVER
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