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Quote: 534953; Rating: 470; [+|-]
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guardian_elma: my son just said to me, "you don't even know the basics of cool"
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Quote: 536418; Rating: 2218; [+|-]
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<Goldmoon> its amazing what you can get with batting your eyelashes and showing your tits.. lol
<n0nthing> raped?
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Quote: 536530; Rating: 305; [+|-]
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OsakePenguin: I would go see elephants in Sri Lanka, but I think they're all planted with bombs to kill tourists.
Zephurus: Haha.
Zephurus: They even have their own navy and air force.
Zephurus: How screwed up is that?
OsakePenguin: The elephants? That's hella screwed up.
Zephurus: The terrorists.
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Quote: 536591; Rating: 1538; [+|-]
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IAn553: I love making fun of the Amish online.
Eddie0235: Why?
IAn553: Cause they'll never find out.
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Quote: 536709; Rating: 1150; [+|-]
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<EqD> How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
<Castille> 1 to cry about it, 5 to post to an indie rock forum talking about how great the new lightbulb is, 15 to say that the old lightbulb was just fine, and to wish they'd stop changing their light and 25 to flame each other on typoes and musical taste?
<Castille> so ... 41?
<EqD> Frankly, I don't care. Let the little fuckers cry in the dark.
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Quote: 536778; Rating: 411; [+|-]
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jared 33 ghs 02: i heard possibly the most racial remark the other night at a restaurant
The Magma Hawk: ?
jared 33 ghs 02: an old jewish lady was lecturing my friend who was waitressing about the two tattoos she has and how its not good for her body and a drunk was listening and finally had enough and said "hey old lady, shut up, ur just jealous u got ur tattoo for free"
The Magma Hawk: buahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
The Magma Hawk: that's what she gets for preaching
jared 33 ghs 02: everyones jaw dropped and there was silence, and then he just turned around and continued talking to his friends or whatever
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Quote: 536798; Rating: 514; [+|-]
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<NIGHTMARE> I'm black from the waist down.
<n10shun> How do you steal a TV with your feet?
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Quote: 536960; Rating: -629; [+|-]
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<Zell> Can i gline people for threatening to MS DOS me?
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Quote: 536971; Rating: 706; [+|-]
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<Jess> When I asked my Gyno if he could make it feel good,
<Jess> he looked at me in a really weird way and moved his hand back out.
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Quote: 537022; Rating: 1429; [+|-]
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<sheep--> haha
<sheep--> my mom got this knife at some asian store
<sheep--> i was gonna use it to make myself some food
<sheep--> but instead, i\'m gonna frame it and keep it for ever in the wrapper
<Tick> ?
<sheep--> it says on it \"Warning: keep out of children\"
<Tick> lol
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Quote: 537057; Rating: 889; [+|-]
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<sheep--> people at my work are weird
<sheep--> i was washing my hands.. and this guy walks out of a stall with no shirt on, goes to a urinal, does his business, and goes back into a stall :\\
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Quote: 537145; Rating: 957; [+|-]
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<sulli> So I placed my order for the computer today
<sulli> Any idea what "backorder" means?
<dy> That means they dont have it, but will ship it to you once they get it.
<sulli> FUCK that means all Im getting is 2 fans, a heatsink, and my free shirt and ballcap.
<Omnica> Well, that will allow you to Look cool, and Be Cool :)
<sulli> Fuck you
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Quote: 537155; Rating: 1850; [+|-]
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<Handy> Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed,
<Handy> they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
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Quote: 537199; Rating: 397; [+|-]
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<Koentje3> There are 2 secrets to follow if you want to live a succesfull life
<Koentje3> Rule #1: Don't tell all ur secrets
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Quote: 537240; Rating: 1078; [+|-]
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(anuj) Strangest thing happened today.
(anuj) I saw one of those Progessive Insurance SUVs heading towards an accident scene.
(anuj) And the SUV got smacked by an 18-wheeler because it ran a red light.
(anuj) The irony didn't hit me until just now.
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Quote: 537307; Rating: 2201; [+|-]
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(Bismarck) Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes!!!!
(Bismarck) France is going to house the new nuclear fusion reactor!
(Bismarck) If it suceeds, cheap long term energy. If it fails, BAM! France is gone!
(Bismarck) It's win win!
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Quote: 537359; Rating: 5; [+|-]
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<kingofign> I was talking to a HUGE anti-piracy friend yesterday
<kingofign> and he said
<kingofign> "Piracy is stealing"
<kingofign> "You wouldn't steal a wallet, or a purse, or a car"
<kingofign> And I say
<kingofign> "Dude, you can download cars now? What newsgroups are YOU signed up to?"
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Quote: 537564; Rating: 1408; [+|-]
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<mrWoot> :(
Melindhra turns the frown upside down
<mrWoot> ):
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Quote: 537896; Rating: 421; [+|-]
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<&dreams> well
<&dreams> I want a direct link
<&dreams> :P
<@McRuMMy> ugh
<@McRuMMy> www.yahoo.com/DontBeFuckinLazy
<@McRuMMy> here
<@McRuMMy> http://www.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,30000-1188265,00.html
<&dreams> lmao
<&dreams> thanks
<@McRuMMy> everytime i dont feel like helpin you i look back on this pic of your boobs :>
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Quote: 538924; Rating: 1531; [+|-]
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quiksilvrr101: hello
axelay4: went out and bought some dice for D&D yesterday
quiksilvrr101: hot
axelay4: they were mondo expensive though...so i looked the guy at the counter straight in the face and asked him if i could roll a D20 to haggle
quiksilvrr101: lol
quiksilvrr101: and?
axelay4: goddamn natural 1
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Quote: 538930; Rating: 642; [+|-]
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<bda> Wow. Five SMS and already I'm wishing I had the fingers of a 15 year old Japanese girl.
* bda pauses.
<bda> Hmmm.
<SketchCow> I do too
<SketchCow> Wrapped around something
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Quote: 539034; Rating: 596; [+|-]
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<CherryMay> Channel 5 Sun Jul 10 6:20 PM
<CherryMay> (100 min., 1990, USA, Adventure/Western/War Movies)
<CherryMay> someone explain those genres to me please.
<The_T> They stand back to back
<The_T> take 10 paces forward, turn, then fire
<The_T> in TANKS
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Quote: 539388; Rating: 995; [+|-]
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NitishP | Wow this Perl tutorial can be lame - "recursion n.: See recursion."
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Quote: 539936; Rating: -357; [+|-]
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<darkstar> 78/m/bedridden
<darkstar> ball men
<darkstar> swgtlm seeks non-human dick slave to swab bedsores and eat poo
<d00rmaus> I only do sbgtlm
<d00rmaus> sorry
<darkstar> so you only dig single black gay transgendered lesbian males
<darkstar> sorry we didn't match on e harmony
<d00rmaus> no category #22 failed
<d00rmaus> although we got 100% on #23, do you eat dick.
<d00rmaus> too much data, kernel panic
<darkstar> libdickslurping.so was not loaded at boot
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Quote: 540021; Rating: 1610; [+|-]
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t3hraven: Holy shit somethings burning outside my window
t3hraven: brb
t3hraven: o, nm
t3hraven: it was a cloud going by my window
t3hraven: thought it was smoke :/
BILLLL: Go outside much, raven?
t3hraven: no :(
BILLLL: cuz those cloud things can be pretty tricky
t3hraven: shut up
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Quote: 540166; Rating: 636; [+|-]
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xeon: "Keyboard Failure, Press F1 to continue"
xeon: ....... wtf?!
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Quote: 540200; Rating: 1236; [+|-]
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<Gonads> Happens to me too. Actually, I get upset with myself if I see a word I don't know the meaning of. Which is starting to happen more and more.
<Apocalypse> Theoretically it should be happening in a mitigate and subjacent idiosyncrasy.
<Gonads> Fuck you
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Quote: 540211; Rating: 713; [+|-]
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<Gandalf> how do you create a user in linux?
<@Viceroy> you can't, if you use linux you're going to live alone forever
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Quote: 540271; Rating: 2405; [+|-]
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<tennisgh22> i was watching this porn and the girl keeps goinng "see!!! see?!!!! seeeee?!!!!"
<tennisgh22> and i was like wtf see what?
<tennisgh22> but then i realized
<tennisgh22> it was in spanish :(
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Quote: 540288; Rating: 2333; [+|-]
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<+aeonite> is there any diet plan that does not involve fucking cottage cheese?
<@LordCrank> some of them involve eating it instead
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Quote: 540395; Rating: 2283; [+|-]
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<rick> hey my bro called me up the other day asking for the ops cd key
<rick> so im like, military style? bc its such a pain to understand the letters over the phone
<rick> so hes like "whatever sure"
<rick> so im sitting there for like 10 minutes saying " kit-cat-kit-cat-9 = venus-bounce-bounce-bouce-dog = girl-girl-phone-girl-daddy ..." so thats going on for a while and hes repeating it back to me and im repeating it back to him for like 5 times.
<rick> so finally i hang up the phone and spin around in my chair and my grandpa is standing in the doorway totally dazed, and hes like "i'll never understand you young kids."
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Quote: 540426; Rating: 1578; [+|-]
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xyzzy314: i got some rare footage of houdini getting locked out of his car
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Quote: 540470; Rating: 1965; [+|-]
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SMB61890: have u heard bout that earthquake stuff under the sea
Fairies Exist90: no is ariel ok?
SMB61890: i dont kno how to spell the name of it
Fairies Exist90: and king triton?
SMB61890: what?
Fairies Exist90: and sebastian?
Fairies Exist90: and flounder?
Fairies Exist90: ARE THEY OK?!
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Quote: 540900; Rating: 752; [+|-]
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<konefku> If you have twins, im buying you a shirt that points to your left side that says "I LOVE THIS ONE MORE."
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Quote: 541002; Rating: 886; [+|-]
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<ravedreamcast> well at least i had some fun in the back seat
<ravedreamcast> the true gift of partys
<Cryomancer> you brought your gameboy?
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Quote: 541695; Rating: 2409; [+|-]
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<keepingcharlie> i had lots of sex when i was under 18., man i miss those days. i wish i would have realized what i had, when i had it.
<rabbiwanna> You probably still have it.
<rabbiwanna> Get tested.
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Quote: 541795; Rating: 3179; [+|-]
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<Tre_Cool>: Man I'm soooo hungry... I could eat more hot dogs than that lil japenese guy.
<Netters>: I got 20 bucks that says you can't do that.
<Tre_Cool>: Listen, I'm not intimidated by you OR your freakish talking money.
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Quote: 542053; Rating: 1833; [+|-]
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Salsa Shark: you know what google earth needs?
ULJarad: More 3D buildings?
Salsa Shark: ion cannon button
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Quote: 542530; Rating: 1132; [+|-]
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<Maduin> Is it weird if you recognize a girl in your inbox porn from your highschool?
<TheUpstairsProTHAway> I think the most comedic answer would be, "It depends what part you recognized."
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Quote: 542591; Rating: 500; [+|-]
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<Mifuyne> how old is your iBook anyway?
<+indigo> 4 years.
<+indigo> :-P
<Mifuyne> ah
<~Delta> jeez
<~Delta> that thing was made before the war
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Quote: 542595; Rating: 633; [+|-]
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themadchef: they dont hire that often
themadchef: i went there awhile ago
iLOVEthat AliceD: and?
themadchef: they werent hiring
themadchef: lol
iLOVEthat AliceD: thats a fucked up story man
iLOVEthat AliceD: i liked the twist ending
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Quote: 542943; Rating: 689; [+|-]
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<Vipsta> I once keylogged this guy coding C
<Vipsta> biggest fucking mess ever :\
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Quote: 543059; Rating: 365; [+|-]
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<ag> Diablo-D3: Have you considered Front Page? It's much easier, and you still get to look dumb.
|
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Quote: 543436; Rating: 3198; [+|-]
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<opensoar> you know how my wife looks really young right?
<jb> yeah - she looks about 15
<opensoar> we'd been playing tennis and she was in little shorts and a t-shirt
<opensoar> we went to a mall and i figured i'd embarrass her with a bit sloppy kiss..
<jb> lol - you bastard!
<opensoar> after i'd slobbered all over her, she pushed me away and shouted out "Ew! Dad! GROSS!"
<opensoar> the whole place thought i was some kind of pervy..
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Quote: 543726; Rating: 1126; [+|-]
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<root66> so, I was contracted to write a text messaging client for windows. I said I wanted $250 upfront and $250 upon completion. He only sent $200
<root66> so I completed it but made it crippled and put "demo" in the titlebar
<root66> and he told me "this is just some demo you downloaded. I am not giving you any more money"
<root66> so I changed "demo" to "cheapskate version - that means you dave" and sent it again
<root66> now he won't answer my emails
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Quote: 543728; Rating: 1205; [+|-]
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(placid|work) i knew a girl that was fat just because of her asthma medication
(@Rayn) what was she taking for asthma ... cheeseburgers?
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Quote: 543730; Rating: 843; [+|-]
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<JDProject> can someone explain the difference between a hub and a router ?
<ffejtable> one works at layer 2, the other at layer 3+
<LeddyWK> if he's asking the difference, chances are he doesn't know the osi model
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Quote: 543764; Rating: 718; [+|-]
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diggertrocknroll: Graham, my girlfriend just listed bukkake as one of the top five ways to kill a man
diggertrocknroll: I blame you
Grahamenstein: why me?
Grahamenstein: there were four other guys
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Quote: 543807; Rating: -103; [+|-]
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<tally> why does it seem like out of the ton of people listed on the right, only four are talking
<vette> the rest are whispering
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Quote: 543933; Rating: 2358; [+|-]
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[Buck_Satan] take the amount of pussy you've gotten, times that by three and that should be a rough estimate of how much I've gotten
[Buck_Satan] fag
[Baron von Mannsechs] 0 x 3 = 0, Buck
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