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Quote: 422722; Rating: 61; [+|-]
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<+Nobody> Stephen Stack and James Gundlach were awarded the 2004 Ignobel Award for their paper The Effect of Country Music on Suicide that links the suicide rate to the amount of country music played on the radio
<+private_meta> hmm... if they would play country music in the radio i would commit suicide too... so whats so phenomenous on that paper? |
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Quote: 422753; Rating: 877; [+|-]
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<demios>Nothing is quite so disturbing as looking under your parents' bed and finding a box labelled "extra-stretchy cock ring" |
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Quote: 422766; Rating: 514; [+|-]
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<RuKK> people bitched at me to learn a foreign language so I learned perl |
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Quote: 422785; Rating: 311; [+|-]
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Osaka> There's no room to be deppressed anymore.
Osaka> I'd angst, but you'd all go to the "Emo" routine.
Osaka> What am I to do, bottle my emotions?
CodenameROFL> yes.
Osaka> ...
Osaka> Teh world = Teh suck
CodenameROFL> YOU'RE NOT BOTTLING!!!!
Osaka> Code, you suck.
CodenameROFL> :P
CodenameROFL> I know
Osaka> Well, suck elsewhere.
CodenameROFL> ...
CodenameROFL> If I could do that, do you think I'd be lurking on the internet?
Osaka> Nuff said. |
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Quote: 422800; Rating: 1187; [+|-]
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<|HashBot|> Geography: Name a country which has the same name as a bird?
<jms> soctland
<jms> ireland
<jms> wales
<jms> kuait
<|HashBot|> Here's a hint: t**k*y
<jms> tuckey
<|HashBot|> The answer was turkey. Try and get the next one...
<jms> wtf |
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Quote: 422817; Rating: 614; [+|-]
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Jukeboksi has quit ["IF IT WERE POSSIBLE, THESE LETTERS WOULD BE EVEN BIGGER"] |
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Quote: 422929; Rating: -390; [+|-]
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<cyan> You know what would suck?
<cyan> If an accident happened and you had to dial 911, but you have dyslexia. |
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Quote: 423288; Rating: 421; [+|-]
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<+Celestar> there was some gun with a warning:"When shooting on people, clothing may be damaged" |
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Quote: 423445; Rating: 965; [+|-]
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<Reliken> AIM is like the ugly chick who gives SUCH good head, and works sooooooo well. MSN is like the typical hot blonde. Gorgeous, but you can't communicate with her. Yahoo! is the creepy guy whacking off in the corner that no one likes, and Trillian is the average looking bisexual male. |
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Quote: 423529; Rating: 1673; [+|-]
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Kult Radio: So I was with this girl
Kult Radio: She said "Give me eight inches and make it hurt"
Kult Radio: So I fucked her twice and hit her in the head with a brick. |
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Quote: 423570; Rating: 1370; [+|-]
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HitMan: have you ever played that game "Taboo" ?
Spanky: nope
Spanky: don't think I've ever heard of it
HitMan: oh, well there's teams of two people, and you have a card that has
a word on it, and you have to make your partner guess the word.u00a0 but
there's 5 words you're not allowed to say
Spanky: oh. it's like that stupid gameshow that used to be on a
million years ago
HitMan: so we were playing that tonight, and I was teamed with my buddy
Matt, and the word was "pornography" ... so first thing I say is "what you
masturbate to"
HitMan: he replies "Hillary Duff!" |
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Quote: 423623; Rating: -23; [+|-]
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<Advocate> n00bface, in other words, die a virgin?
<n00bface> id rather just think of hot 50 year old fat virgin bosses
<n00bface> yes, i said hot fat.
<Advocate> ......................
<Advocate> Chubbychaser
<n00bface> at least i can catch them
<Fubar\anime> rofl
<Advocate> ...
<Advocate> rofl |
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Quote: 424338; Rating: 845; [+|-]
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<randomnine> i bet the internal age variable is protected
<randomnine> it's always accessible to anything that inherits
<Entrope> i can understand making getAge() protected or private, but there should definitely be a public isLegal() function |
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Quote: 424364; Rating: 1799; [+|-]
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* halocy goes for laundry like the good house-bitch she is
[a few mins later]
<halocy> my bf's socks are all kinda ... crunchy
<halocy> wtf?
<halocy> his feet must sweat a lot
<rvrsl> haha
<smashi> ew
<smashi> hehe
<smashi> are you sure it's
<smashi> SWEAT!
* smashi giggles
<halocy> what else would it be? |
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Quote: 424370; Rating: 547; [+|-]
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MycenaeSC2K4: Sigmund Freud once thorized that all male children have, at one point or another, want to have sex with their mothers.
MycenaeSC2K4: Now, one might think "OMG WTF?!"
MycenaeSC2K4: Until they get a look at Freud's mom...
Surfrider132: uhh, yeah
MycenaeSC2K4: Holy fuck, I'd want that!! |
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Quote: 424487; Rating: 9214; [+|-]
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JstWnnaHveFuN08: do you think i should call a guy friend and talk to him about my problems? or will he not care?
Thilo: Here's how it works: if a guy helps you with your problems, you're obligated to give him a blowjob.
JstWnnaHveFuN08: lol thanks that cheered me up
Thilo: No problem. That'll be one blowjob please. |
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Quote: 424642; Rating: 1346; [+|-]
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<Dogan> Just try and imagine michael jackson as a football player
<Samurai> ....
<Samurai> All that i'm going to say to that is:
<Samurai> the touchdown dances would be insane |
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Quote: 425480; Rating: 479; [+|-]
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<_chaos> The world will be perfect when you can log conversations from real life.
<_chaos> For example if a man denies sleeping with another woman his wife can just check the logs.
<_chaos> And the only way to cheat is if you had admin powers to edit the logs... like me. heh :)
<CCDude> or i could kick your nerdy ass and make you do it for me
<_chaos> Then you would be arrested after they checked the logs!
<CCDude> shit
<CCDude> your still a fucking nerd
<_chaos> And your still an idiot. :D |
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Quote: 426274; Rating: 3288; [+|-]
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<Rachel> 15. Mycophobiau00a0is theu00a0fear of?
<Vaen> MY COCK
<Skylar> small things
<Vaen> fuck you |
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Quote: 426275; Rating: 1948; [+|-]
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Be1ial: remember the old arcade games that had a message from the president about saying no to drugs?
Krizkor: haha yeah.
Krizkor: because of that blue screen before mortal kombat, i stayed off drugs.
Krizkor: but unfortunately, i began pulling people's spines out. |
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Quote: 426305; Rating: 533; [+|-]
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<Innkeeper> ===== Question 15588/19999u00a0 =====
<Innkeeper> What is the first book of the Bible
<Innkeeper> Hint: @@@@@@@
<looloo> genocide |
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Quote: 426401; Rating: 1304; [+|-]
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<Crac|ked> So anyway my griendfriend came over last night and like i was playing CS and not paying her any attention,
<Crac|ked> so like she silently slid under my desk and undid my pants and gave me oral -
<Crac|ked> to cut a long story short after i was done, she looked up at me and said:
<Crac|ked> "You do realise i just gave you a geeks fanatasy - CS and a blow-job!"
<RoCkYTrAiL> lol.
<JimmyBoy> I don't think that's a good fantasy...
<JiveHut> FAG!!!
<RoCkYTrAiL> fag!
<Treader> homo
<JimmyBoy> :( |
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Quote: 426527; Rating: 7142; [+|-]
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<green> We vegetarians love the environment. carnivores are sick freaks.
<Frank> How can vegetarians possibly love the environment.. you keep eating all the fucking plants |
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Quote: 426917; Rating: 1472; [+|-]
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<@[S]W|Supey|Around> what the fcuk? a DVD enlargement system? did my two spam senders mix their titles? |
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Quote: 426942; Rating: 1613; [+|-]
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<Booster> whyd you get a mac?
<Nick> I have conqured the PC
<Nick> just wanted to try it out
<Booster> you got it cause you were bored?
<Booster> thats like saying "ive mastered walking with 2 legs" so you cut one off |
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Quote: 427390; Rating: 160; [+|-]
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* peer has quit IRC (Killed (genome (consider your connection reset!))) |
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Quote: 427764; Rating: 372; [+|-]
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<@Weirdbot> Question 11 of 12: Where is it illegal for chickens to cross the street?
<+Evil_Chipmunk> crawford, texas
<+Evil_Chipmunk> ...
<+Evil_Chipmunk> aw, why not... everything else that's come out of there has been retarded. |
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Quote: 427792; Rating: 8628; [+|-]
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<@Terror> "It's easy to forget what a sin is in the middle of a battlefield."
<@cky> opposite over hypotenuse
<@cky> dipshit |
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Quote: 428214; Rating: 270; [+|-]
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({emily}): ACK! Amazon.com's gold box offer today contains CSE Natural Menopause Relief
({emily}): wtf?!
(Gwydion-): O.o
({emily}): then deodorant
({emily}): so I'm smelly and old.u00a0 lovely.
({emily}): and oooh, a yoga mat.
({emily}): smelly, old, and out-of-shape
({emily}): where do I put in my credit card number? |
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Quote: 428391; Rating: 295; [+|-]
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<Saaj> gah! shit my ears are blocked :/
<^xexeh> swallow
<Saaj> swallow what? |
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Quote: 428416; Rating: 407; [+|-]
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<MO-Pantsu> dentist gave me a temp crown and a HUGE lump of filling to hold it on. now I can feel the pain starting as the painkiller wears off and my jaw don't sit straight. In fact the temp crown is like sharp and shitty and I could bite my tongue off with it.
<karaipantsu> Why?u00a0 Linkin Park's music is awesome.u00a0 Their Lyrics leave a lot to be desired, but I don't put much stock in lyrics
<Cidsa> yeah
<Cidsa> i like the music a lot
<Cidsa> the guitar
<karaipantsu> I like their reliance on more non-rock related instruments.
<karaipantsu> Like Pro audio and piano
<Cidsa> yea
<Chimerasame> i just got my conversations crossed
<Chimerasame> i'm like "what the how does dentistry involve Pro audio"
<Chimerasame> i guess they can blast your plaque off with sound
<Cidsa> yeah
<Cidsa> they use a air blaster thing too
* MO-Pantsu whimpers
<Chimerasame> <dentist> "CRAAAAAAAAAWLING IN MY SKIIIIIIIIIIN" <tartar> well fuck this, i'm leaving |
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Quote: 428429; Rating: 463; [+|-]
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[ Parroflex ] I have a badass hangover.
[ @Ashley ] Don't drink so much next time.
[ Parroflex ] Thank you for that, Ashley.
[ Parroflex ] Ow.
[ @Ashley ] You're very much welcomed.
[ @David ] Have a few shots to numb the pain
[ Parroflex ] Thank you for that entirely unhelpful advice, David.
[ @David ] You won't feel any pain with no head.
[ Parroflex ] Owowow. There is a medieval re-enactment going on inside my head.
[ Parroflex ] Fat geeks with cardboard armour are arguing about what type of swords they'd have had back then. |
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Quote: 428467; Rating: 998; [+|-]
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<Dubious|Laptop> gotta go give a training session on Cisco.u00a0 lates.
<{pdX}aldawg> isn't cisco a form of oil they sell at supermarkets
<Dubious|Laptop> thats Crisco.u00a0 Its not often that you find someone who is both technology and culinary-impaired, but you have shattered that paradigm.
* {pdX}aldawg has quit IRC (Quit: ) |
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Quote: 428468; Rating: 1766; [+|-]
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<M[at]> know what I hate?
<M[at]> when you download shrek 2, and find its in german
<M[at]> then download it again and get it in french
<M[at]> then download it again and finding its a different film
<M[at]> then do you know whats worse?
<M[at]> when you download debbie does dallas
<M[at]> and get the english version of shrek 2 :( |
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Quote: 428535; Rating: 857; [+|-]
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<Asmodai> I spy with my little eye something beginning with ([a-zA-Z0-9].*) |
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Quote: 428566; Rating: 1931; [+|-]
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<peer> Bad timing is when you are running late and you get all the red lights
<+FyreDaug> Nah, bad timing is what happened yesterday
<+FyreDaug> One of my girl friends was over and she asked me to do something and I was doing something on my computer already so I said "just gimmie another sec"
<+FyreDaug> and shes like "aw cmon I've given you lots of secs already!"
<+FyreDaug> as my mom was walking upstairs where the computer room is. She just looked at me funny and walked away |
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Quote: 428609; Rating: 1104; [+|-]
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<WDeranged> i just had a chickhan dinnhar and 4 hours of entertainment brought to me
<WDeranged> sometimes life is nice
<patrick``> macdonalds happy meal with a free toy? |
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Quote: 428625; Rating: -97; [+|-]
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<eviltown103> one time my friend was having ass sex wiht his gf in the living room
<eviltown103> and when they were done....she dropped one on the carpet
<eviltown103> then his parents came home
<eviltown103> it ant biog
<eviltown103> just a little thing
<eviltown103> but
<eviltown103> they ran out leaving it there
<eviltown103> when the parents c it
<eviltown103> they take the dog to the vet and put it to sleep
<STLFX0> LMFAOROFL |
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Quote: 428656; Rating: 2952; [+|-]
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<Rostam> 1 in 4 girls has problems with incest at home
<Rostam> that sickened me
<Shrap|Wal> the others 3 are fine with it ? |
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Quote: 428662; Rating: 1641; [+|-]
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(*)Embers(*): should i ask jonny this---
(*)Embers(*): ok so i know we haven't known each other
for long and I really shouldn't be asking you for
this..... but I want it so bad don't get me wrong it's
just that I haven't had it for a long time I could
already feel it going in so hard and coming out so soft
and wet. No one has to know about this, I'm desperate,
but your help can be very grateful!!!
(*)Embers(*): you must think I have a lot of nerve
asking you for this but I can feel my tongue around it
sucking all the juice out until there no more left, this
has been on my mind all day long and I hope I'm not
being forward but.... can I have a piece of gum?
Sarah: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA |
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Quote: 428688; Rating: 842; [+|-]
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Arteryman92089: does Wyoming have a baseball team?
MoocluckRULES: wait, people live in wyoming?
Arteryman92089: thats the thing. im not sure |
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Quote: 428713; Rating: 164; [+|-]
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[Filefront|Juice] the french version of halo 2's campaign mode is only 1 minute long. Master chief lands on the earth and the covenent surrender |
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Quote: 428807; Rating: 2312; [+|-]
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Safia: your just sittin there watching me?
Sean: No I have creepy music playing too |
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Quote: 429102; Rating: 654; [+|-]
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[Lex_Talion] if the english language was good enough for our lord jesus christ, then it should be good enough for everybody else! |
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Quote: 429250; Rating: 830; [+|-]
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<Davus> Earth - The only place people that don't use condoms use computer anti-virus software.
<Davus> Ah, the priorities. |
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Quote: 429301; Rating: 889; [+|-]
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<Baybee_Gurl> that wuz so awesome last night
<Baybee_Gurl> i had a great time
<SiCkNeSsS> says:u00a0 yea... me too
<Baybee_Gurl> if you're interested i'm willing to do it again ;)
<SiCkNeSsS> mm hmm
<Baybee_Gurl> yea
<Baybee_Gurl> ...
<Baybee_Gurl> is something bothering you?
<Baybee_Gurl> because your acting weird
<SiCkNeSsS> it's nothing
<Baybee_Gurl> tell me
<SiCkNeSsS> dont worry 'bout it
<Baybee_Gurl> tell me plz
<Baybee_Gurl> plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
<Baybee_Gurl> .........
<Baybee_Gurl> come on just tell me
<Baybee_Gurl> i wont care
<SiCkNeSsS> fine if you put it that way
<Baybee_Gurl> okay so tell me!!
<SiCkNeSsS> if you fucking get pregnant i am so dumping your ass
<Baybee_Gurl> ..... |
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Quote: 429307; Rating: 2356; [+|-]
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KabeDerlin05: Bring it on. I have a level 19 Weapon Master that can kick your ass
KradenTalcaria: ...
KradenTalcaria: brb
KabeDerlin05: Yeah that's right! Run Away! Just like your mother did when she saw my huge dick!
Auto response from KradenTalcaria: Mom's using the computer. Be back in a few. |
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Quote: 429313; Rating: 1859; [+|-]
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<Dharkbayne> Reverse Jesus is created when you masturbate in the bath and your sister falls pregnant by then bathing in the same water.
<Dharkbayne> Reverse Jesus would blind and cripple random people. And give them leprosy.
<Dharkbayne> Reverse Jesus crucified the entire Roman Empire.
<Dharkbayne> Reverse Jesus makes you die for his sins.
<Dharkbayne> Reverse Jesus can sink in water.
<Dharkbayne> Reverse Jesus can turn wine into water.
<Dharkbayne> Reverse Jesus dares you to stone whores if you're sinner.
<Dharkbayne> He was born in a cave on Easter and was killed in a shootout on Christmas eve when three kings finally tracked him down for outstanding debts of gold and spices. |
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Quote: 429355; Rating: 64; [+|-]
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<rich3> freebasing is when you don't wear underwear, right? |
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Quote: 429582; Rating: 815; [+|-]
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<Ale> they are closing down both streets that access my house (I live on a city street conrer)
<Apaul> You live on a street corner?
<Apaul> Work there too? :)
<Ale> Yes, I do
<Ale> shit |
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