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Quote: 417089; Rating: 310; [+|-]
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<blanco> chicks dig ignorance
<blanco> but only as long as do it with an accent
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Quote: 417106; Rating: 753; [+|-]
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<janelle> i hate guys
<PacerX> hey, people can piss me off too, but i don't write off their whole gnder
<PacerX> that would make me a feminist
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Quote: 417107; Rating: 2994; [+|-]
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<PacerX> i made a kid stop crying today
<bemyfreak> awww, how sweet
<PacerX> i knocked him unconcious
<bemyfreak> WHAT
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Quote: 417139; Rating: 1397; [+|-]
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<snoldak> im so lonely
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Quote: 417147; Rating: 592; [+|-]
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<doom-> i never seen a canadian battleship
<[C1RCA]> cuz we STEALTH NUGGA!'
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Quote: 417153; Rating: 86; [+|-]
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(Deranged): I wanna get a job in a candy store putting fudge into boxes.
(Deranged): That way, when people ask what I do for a living, I can say I'm a fudge packer.
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Quote: 417254; Rating: 288; [+|-]
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<Mark_Ryan> those of you using mIRC, for a neat trick, hold down shift and click the "#wikipedia" button up the top
<Slowking_Man> I'm betting that closes it.
<Mark_Ryan> nah it does a 3D animation
* Parts: neilc ([email protected])
* Parts: squash- ([email protected]) ("Leaving")
* Joins: squash- ([email protected])
<squash-> it works on xchat too
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Quote: 417265; Rating: 271; [+|-]
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<Dave_A> Raping Secial Ed Kids is Fucking Retarded.
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Quote: 417362; Rating: 274; [+|-]
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<Deepsy`SilentHill4> my ex came with BitchX internally intergrated.
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Quote: 417967; Rating: 471; [+|-]
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<@asym> I bet rob zombie would win the election if he came on TV and said "elect me or I will open the gates of hell."
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Quote: 418422; Rating: 1614; [+|-]
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<AnGeLcAkE-14fFA>wanna cyber?
<shiroi>sure
<AnGeLcAkE-14fFA>ok, i move close to u
<AnGeLcAkE-14fFA>i start rubbin your chest and unbutton your pants
<AnGeLcAkE-14fFA>..
<AnGeLcAkE-14fFA>hello?
<shiroi>hmm? oh..er. Yea cool.
<AnGeLcAkE-14fFA>u suck at this
<shiroi>I suck? You're the one signing on to irc with your asl in your nick looking for a lovelife. You suck at life.
<shiroi> You're probably not even a girl.
AnGeLcAkE-14fFA has quit IRC. (Quit)
<shiroi>Damnit, I'll never get a net gf at this rate :(
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Quote: 418770; Rating: -245; [+|-]
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MynameisTim <Joins>
MynameisTim: Oh my fucking god, I was just whacking off and I have these crazy lumps on my coozer I think they are warts, anyway I'm sitting there ALMOST at climax when BOOM! one pops and coats my face with pus
MynameisTim: so what are you guys up to?
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Quote: 418773; Rating: 165; [+|-]
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<sticker> Scientists have recently dicsovered that most women will, at some time in their life, contain small amounts of intelligent DNA.
<sticker> Unfortunately for a large majority of females, this is only a temporary state, as over 95% of them will SPIT IT OUT!!!
<sticker> lmao
<ShadowHunter> rofl
<MrSupreme> rofl, good one
<CouldItBe> lmao nice one sticker
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Quote: 418790; Rating: 1470; [+|-]
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<@drift_nax> i had 2 options
<@drift_nax> close the porn
<@drift_nax> or pull up my pants
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Quote: 419629; Rating: 591; [+|-]
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<@Kamui> whats a flamewar without music?
<@Kamui> xD
<Br0thershin> Religion.
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Quote: 419730; Rating: 79; [+|-]
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<Cheese> I'm going to Visit Canada one day anyway :/
<microburn> Cheese, we'll go drinking.
<Cheese> microburn, not until I'm like 23/24 ;s
<Cheese> What would be funny is
<Cheese> if we all still talk
<microburn> Cheese, : That would be sad if stayed on IRC for 8 more years talking to you all.
<Cheese> :s
* microburn commits suicide.
<Cheese> 8?
<microburn> I have 8.
<microburn> I'm 16.
<Cheese> microburn, I can't see a day when we still don't come on IRC
<Cheese> we might have graphics then
<microburn> Graphics?
<muert0> yeah me dancin naked in a box to your left
* microburn quits IRC, now.
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Quote: 419733; Rating: 767; [+|-]
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Rain Complex: That was depressing Drew
Rain Complex: Please hold while I stab myself to death
BLUeTalon24: ok
BLUeTalon24: hurry back
Rain Complex: Okay, I'm back
BLUeTalon24: wb!
Rain Complex: I went to Hell ):
BLUeTalon24: that musta sucked
Rain Complex: Thank you
Rain Complex: Yes
Rain Complex: Well I'm still there
Rain Complex: They have computers!
BLUeTalon24: they have AIM too?
Rain Complex: They're 133s running only WinNT and AOL
BLUeTalon24: with spyware galore
Rain Complex: And pop-up makers
Rain Complex: Bootlegged Britney Spears WMAs playing in fast forward 24/7
BLUeTalon24: haha WMA is evil
Rain Complex: Linux users are crying everywhere
Rain Complex: And all the Mac people jumped into the pit of fire and sulfur
Rain Complex: The keyboards are DVORAK
BLUeTalon24: hahaha
Rain Complex: They only have trackballs
Rain Complex: And tape-drives
Rain Complex: 4.25 floppy drives that don't work
BLUeTalon24: left handed single click dirty rolling ball mice with no scroll wheel.
Rain Complex: No scroll wheels for thousands of miles, my friend
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Quote: 419746; Rating: -23; [+|-]
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<worstazn> yo i need to find a new bitch..
<mejmanyme> k i have a plan
<mejmanyme> you running windows or linux?
<worstazn> winxp....
<mejmanyme> k, hit start and then "run"
<mejmanyme> type in "cmd"
<mejmanyme> after commandprompt opens
<mejmanyme> type currentbitch /release
<mejmanyme> then currentbitch /renew
<mejmanyme> now type currentbitch /all and send the results
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Quote: 419747; Rating: 769; [+|-]
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cpufreak04: Fun fact.
cpufreak04: Take 'HAL' from 2001: A Space Odyssey
cpufreak04: And move every letter one letter forward (Y=Z, X=Y)
cpufreak04: What do you get?
MavAntagonist: g_k
cpufreak04: FORWARD.
MavAntagonist: oh....IBM!
MavAntagonist: OMG!
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Quote: 419832; Rating: 2073; [+|-]
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<cbatoday> my friend walked in on me having sex on his bed last night
<Nemoso> was he pissed?
<cbatoday> well yea, it was with his girlfriend :
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Quote: 419930; Rating: -892; [+|-]
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<Bilbo>: Pac Man time!
<Bilbo>: < ............. M
<Bilbo>: < ........ M
<Bilbo>: < . M
<Bilbo>: ^
<Bilbo>: Oops. I died.
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Quote: 420169; Rating: 669; [+|-]
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..<lh> oh shit
<lh> started pickin my nose
<lh> then realised i got like my webcam on to 7 ppl
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Quote: 420181; Rating: 2058; [+|-]
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<sic1> so you tried to go home
<sic1> and it wouldn't start?
<sp4nk> Indeed.
<sp4nk> I wish I knew a thing or two about cars.
<sp4nk> I wonder if there's a troubleshooter online that's like Microsoft's thing.
<sp4nk> Problem: My car will not start.
<sic1> HAHAHA
<sp4nk> Suggestion: Have you tried turning the key?
<sp4nk> [ ] Yes, this solved the problem.
<sp4nk> [x] No, the car still will not start.
<sp4nk> This troubleshooter is unable to solve your problem.
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Quote: 420275; Rating: 1886; [+|-]
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<ColdRage687> do you like psychiatry
<Avs4Cup2K3> my mom's a psychiatrist
<ColdRage687> i dont
<ColdRage687> i used to think the brain was the most fascinating part of the body
<ColdRage687> but then i realized
<ColdRage687> pssssh
<ColdRage687> look whats telling me that
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Quote: 420391; Rating: 1613; [+|-]
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<Cyb> heh this guy I knew in high school forgot to write an english paper until like the day before it was due and it was supposed to be a work of fiction a couple pages long
<Cyb> so he wrote down the half-life sp story
<Cyb> and stretched it out as much as he could
<Cyb> and got an A
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Quote: 420439; Rating: 339; [+|-]
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<@Casper> Girl from work and I went to the pool hall
<@Casper> I asked her if she wanted to start talking
<@Casper> She said we would talk about it tomorrow
<@Casper> She has a nice looking sister too
<@cypher> start talking about what?
<@Casper> going out
<@cypher> people _plan_ relationship status?
<Vehementi> not only do they plan relationship status, they plan *talking* about relationship status.
<Vehementi> later in the relationship this is more commonly known as the "Let's talk about our relationship" trap
<@cypher> Vehementi: <3
<sh> $relationship->discuss();
<sh> new Relationship;
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Quote: 420517; Rating: 621; [+|-]
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<Managore> Heh.. All I ever drink is cock and fanta.
<Managore> FUCK
<Apocalypse> !!!ROFLMAO!!! ..Freudian slip eh??
<Managore> NO
<Managore> FUCK
<Managore> SHIT
<Managore> FUCK
<Managore> FUCK
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Quote: 420589; Rating: 2045; [+|-]
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<@dawoker> my manager dropped by and told me to stop using things like "my president is an assclown" in string testing for some of our code.
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Quote: 420634; Rating: 361; [+|-]
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<SnowBlind> We need to get that professor who mutated Oranges to have THC, so that Bacon has THC.
<^goat^> mmmmm potbacon
<SnowBlind> GET HIGH WHILE YOU FRY!
<LynchHung> lol
<SnowBlind> We'll call it JAMAICAN BACON!
<Gazoo> Oranges have THC?
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Quote: 420685; Rating: 2253; [+|-]
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<tadpoleofdeath> Why do so many math majors confuse Halloween and Christmas?
<elfking> why?
<tadpoleofdeath> Because Oct 31 is Dec 25
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Quote: 420839; Rating: 1972; [+|-]
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<Siege>: Omg theres this really hot girl at my school.
<WarHawk>: Aww. Siegebear is in wuv.
<Siege>:Everytime she smiles i wanna cum all over her face.
<WarHawk>: Whoa
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Quote: 420855; Rating: 8851; [+|-]
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gentoogod: omg dude
gentoogod: today i might the stupidest 3 people i ever met
gentoogod: thier 3 brains combined couldnt solve the dilemma they faced today
siral21: what was it
gentoogod: ok before i say this
gentoogod: 100% true, not one second of a lie
gentoogod: this lady went into mcdonalds today and ordered a big mac for her
gentoogod: and ordered 2 mcgrittles one for each kid. one had bacon one without
gentoogod: her sons are around 18 or 19 so not infants
gentoogod: she went to the counter furious cause the son that wanted bacon has no bacon on his and the one that didnt want bacon has bacon on his
gentoogod: i fell on the floor beside her and couldnt stop laughing
gentoogod: so i finally stood up and asked her to repeat, thinking maybe shes drunk
gentoogod: i swear to god she looked at me straight faced and repeated it. and her 2 sons were beside her mad that they didnt get the order they wanted
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Quote: 420926; Rating: 1258; [+|-]
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<WooWoo> i was walking through goodwill with my daughter to look for costume ideas and there was this stuffed trout adn i gave it to her, adn literally, she smacked me with it and laughed
<WooWoo> and i'm like.
<WooWoo> omfg
<WooWoo> she just trout slapped me
<WooWoo> wtf
<WooWoo> she's not on irc
<WooWoo> it was all big too
<WooWoo> like 3 feet long
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Quote: 420954; Rating: 280; [+|-]
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<JonnyCash> man i was having this bad dream about driving piss drunk but then i woke up from it
<JonnyCash> well i had to because the light turned green
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Quote: 420967; Rating: 721; [+|-]
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<whitay> i just wanna kill mysql
<whitay> myself*
<heaika> that's an odd warning..
<whitay> mmm stupid reflex typing
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Quote: 421080; Rating: 708; [+|-]
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<seekm> this was a call someone had that i was helping them with
<seekm> "is you caps lock key on?"
<seekm> "i think so, the keyboard is in all capital letters"
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Quote: 421163; Rating: 870; [+|-]
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< [Syntax]> woah, I just cracked open my fortune cookie and it was dead on..
< Feenyx> how so?
< jonnyv> "you will eat a cookie"?
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Quote: 421385; Rating: 2047; [+|-]
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<SKS> Hey, type lana backwards.
<LadyGrace> SKS, anal?
<SKS> Yes, please.
<WhoaOutOfControl> Hey SKS, type cips backwards.
<SKS> spic
* SKS was kicked by Anubis- (Racist language detected (4 hour ban) -- (207 served).)
<WhoaOutOfControl> Teehee
<rancid_alan> What an ass.
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Quote: 421516; Rating: 1340; [+|-]
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<konfuzed> i'm at this lan party...
<konfuzed> most of the others are downstairs, drinking.
<konfuzed> now they've all got goatse as their background image.
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Quote: 421526; Rating: -95; [+|-]
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<r0y_g3rb1l> police stations are clubs for thick-skulled short dicked racist gun-nuts that took every civil-ass test they could because no one else hires people that put "former nigger beater" on their resume.
|
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Quote: 421528; Rating: 751; [+|-]
|
<GaronSemi> The media players of the future will -kill you- if you associate their filetypes with another program.
|
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Quote: 421551; Rating: 121; [+|-]
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<LegCow> he's about as funny as aids
<`Sage> HAHA AIDS! HAHAHHA!
<`Sage> LOOK AT THAT CUNT DIE! HAHAHA
<`Sage> HEY! HOWS YOUR IMUNE SYSTEM? OH? DONT HAVE ONE? HAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHA
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Quote: 421559; Rating: 62; [+|-]
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<TorpedoDog> well whats your take on the whole refugee bit then?
<MalcomX> sailings not the fastest way to get places
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Quote: 421667; Rating: 2069; [+|-]
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<adidasdood> anyone smallville 403 yet?
<spacerat> verbs, dude, verbs
<spacerat> that sentence clearly requires a verb
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Quote: 421793; Rating: -199; [+|-]
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<Casualty-> i did weed once, fuck that shit
<Casualty-> and pot once
<CAL-bf|Russ> Weed was amazing
<eI|Katie> casualty...
<eI|Katie> weed = pot
* emolithic|Icon_class has joined #gxl
<Casualty-> err
<Casualty-> not pot
<Casualty-> cocaine
<Meta474> hahaha
<Meta474> Nerd.
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Quote: 421829; Rating: 283; [+|-]
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<d-dog> know any thing that stops acne oh great kurty
<kurty> uh yeah
<kurty> finishing puberty
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Quote: 422419; Rating: 1415; [+|-]
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<leif> well I used to go to a "special" school for troubled kids, so our classes were really easy and pretty dumb. One of them was "work study" and I remember one day a few kids were playing jenga on the main "study" table, and i got the most exellent idea to grab a small model plane from the teachers desk, throw it
at the blocks, then after they fell over I shouted " HEY GUESS WHO I AM?!?!"....
<leif> That's why i'm home schooled now :-(
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Quote: 422720; Rating: 727; [+|-]
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<RedLeader> So you like ju-jitsu tonight?
<Cigz> Yea, it was fun but I prefer my judo
<RedLeader> why, you think all of that throwing people around is cooler?
<Cigz> Ya damn right, the laddies love that stuff
<RedLeader> ...
<Cigz> shit, LADIES
<RedLeader> ba HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
<Cigz> look, let's just keep this our little secret, alright?
<RedLeader> Sure dude, don't worry about it ;)
<Cigz> you bastard....
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Quote: 422722; Rating: 22; [+|-]
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<+Nobody> Stephen Stack and James Gundlach were awarded the 2004 Ignobel Award for their paper The Effect of Country Music on Suicide that links the suicide rate to the amount of country music played on the radio
<+private_meta> hmm... if they would play country music in the radio i would commit suicide too... so whats so phenomenous on that paper?
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Quote: 422753; Rating: 825; [+|-]
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<demios>Nothing is quite so disturbing as looking under your parents' bed and finding a box labelled "extra-stretchy cock ring"
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