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Quote: 329222; Rating: 770; [+|-]
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<glix> oh shit... i farted and a little more than air came out.....
<glix> fuck
<glix> anyone who has tips on how to leave the chair without making a mess, msg me ASAP
<cainBoy> lmao
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Quote: 329292; Rating: 9766; [+|-]
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<Batty> Euch, rap is just missing one letter. c.
<zeep> rapc?
<Batty> ...
<Batty> Crap you idiot. you put the c on the other end
<zeep> oic
<Batty> Though you could also say it's missing an e
<zeep> wtf is erap?
* Batty bangs his head repeatedly against a wall
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Quote: 329345; Rating: 1139; [+|-]
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<Oiseau> I like how word puts my last name as mistake when I type it
<Zig> even word processors know you were an accident
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Quote: 329373; Rating: 1089; [+|-]
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<mixi_dk> Im such a perfectist
<mixi_dk> *pefettionist
<mixi_dk> *perfectonst
<mixi_dk> God dammit!
<mixi_dk> perfrecsist
<mixi_dk> OKAY! I give up!
<MikeClassic> Why? perfectionist is easy to spell..?
<mixi_dk> How did you do that?!
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Quote: 329397; Rating: 511; [+|-]
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bug: why arent you sleeping now?
dj:i was having wet dreams so i came to see if you were online =D
bug: errr..
dj: i was trying to be romantic......
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Quote: 329409; Rating: 2268; [+|-]
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<benja> A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question
asked was:"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the
food shortage in the rest of the world?"
<benja> The survey was a huge failure...
<benja> In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
<benja> In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
<benja> In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
<benja> In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
<benja> In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
<benja> In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
<benja> And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant
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Quote: 329513; Rating: 456; [+|-]
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<Hi-Nu> My brother is trying to sing tot he opening score of LotR
<Hi-Nu> The problem is
<Hi-Nu> THERE ARE NO FUCKING LYRICS
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Quote: 329542; Rating: 1931; [+|-]
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<`Neonjoe`> http://www.weatherunderground.com/
<`Neonjoe`> hardcore
<vigz0r> its too hard to be normal weather
<vigz0r> they had to go UNDERGROUND
<cooter> dude they tell u the independant weather, not the fuckin main stream sellout bullshit weather
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Quote: 329612; Rating: 332; [+|-]
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This is during a joke where 2-D is acting Japanese in another room
<The_2-D> He said ditto to me, and I said ditto is japanese for truck
<Ten> AHAHAHA
<Ten> TRUCK
<The_2-D> So he will go through the rest of his life telling people ditto is Japanese for truck.
<Ten> lets hope so
<The_2-D> And on my death bed, someone will end up using the word ditto, and someone around my bed will say, "that's Japanese for truck."
<Ten> AHAHAHAHA
<Ten> youll die laughing
<Ten> and no one will know why
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Quote: 329622; Rating: 599; [+|-]
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tehsolace: lets cyber
d j n p h a s e: mmmk
d j n p h a s e: you be the girl
tehsolace: ok
tehsolace: im a girl
d j n p h a s e: ok
d j n p h a s e: i have to go take a shit
d j n p h a s e: one sec
tehsolace: O_O
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Quote: 329767; Rating: 783; [+|-]
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<ED> I like my women like I like my coffee
<EliteSoldat> GROUND UP AND IN THE FREEZER
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Quote: 329897; Rating: 629; [+|-]
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volume Maxed out: it's fun talking to "suicidal" chicks
volume Maxed out: because they always make the silliest excuses
volume Maxed out: for why they haven't succeeded in their attempts
volume Maxed out: and i give them like
volume Maxed out: every tried and true suicide method
volume Maxed out: including really simple and painless ones
volume Maxed out: and they make up the dumbest excuses
volume Maxed out: like
volume Maxed out: start a car in a garage
volume Maxed out: and sit back
volume Maxed out: and theyre like
volume Maxed out: i dont have a car
volume Maxed out: or
volume Maxed out: my parents wont let me use their car or something
volume Maxed out: and i'm like
volume Maxed out: bitch your gunna die who gives a shit
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Quote: 329906; Rating: 14; [+|-]
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<noan> yay more manga
<pingtimeout> heh
<[I> why is japanese cool and not polish
<[I> wtf
<[I> >:[
<pingtimeout> because polish chicks dont eat their own shit
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Quote: 329959; Rating: 413; [+|-]
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<arsen^> just did apt-get update
<arsen^> went to get a coffee, came back and screen is blank
<arsen^> not sure what its doing :o
<@directhex> press a button
<@directhex> it's called a screen saver
<arsen^> why the hell :/
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Quote: 330072; Rating: 381; [+|-]
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<@boink> I wonder when the day will come that telemarketers offer to Enlarge my Penis?
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Quote: 330074; Rating: 282; [+|-]
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<hawk> health class was the greatest
<Kirk> ...
<Kirk> Heh
<JuKe> even losers like you get to see vaginas
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Quote: 330187; Rating: 690; [+|-]
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<fitcher> my dad's credit card # is 4**0 0**1 3**3 7**7 exp 0*/0*
<fitcher> whoops
<fitcher> ignore that
<fitcher> type /clear
<ProudCdn> why would you give your credit Card # out?
<fitcher> i was ordering a game off this guy
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Quote: 330259; Rating: 2681; [+|-]
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<alien> theres a fly on my windowsill and it's rubbing its hands
<TheKnife> it's contemplating
<alien> oh shit
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Quote: 330261; Rating: 18309; |
<i8b4uUnderground> d-_-b
<BonyNoMore> how u make that inverted b?
<BonyNoMore> wait
<BonyNoMore> never mind
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Quote: 330680; Rating: 608; [+|-]
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<Surge> I just realized something....you can't spell embarassed without "bare assed"
<gornotck> You just did.
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Quote: 331258; Rating: 2041; [+|-]
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figs: whatcha doin man
trawlz: moping cause i have no life, you?
figs: just opened like 50 starburst
figs: gonna see how many i can put in my mouth at once =D
trawlz: well shit. i feel better already
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Quote: 331306; Rating: 548; [+|-]
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<john-lennon-> how much does a new 2004 mustang go for?
<Jonathan`> it goes for about 2 years then falls apart
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Quote: 331410; Rating: 232; [+|-]
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<Z-U> how do u say that u r leaving
<Z-U> ?
<Xelloss> bye typing "i'm leaving" without the quotation marks
<Z-U> oh
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Quote: 331827; Rating: 2269; [+|-]
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(Teg[WTW]) Some girl left her yearbook lying around, so I decided to sign it.
(Teg[WTW]) I wrote "Megan - Even though I never met you, I've had some good times over the years watching you from that tree in your backyard. Stalkingly, Steve"
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Quote: 331940; Rating: 4857; [+|-]
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<Zenith> So I was at work today, signing for a package from UPS..
<Zenith> When the FedEx guy walks in with a package of his own.
<Zenith> And at that EXACT moment, a customer changes the channel to TBS and the Mortal Kombat movie is on, right when the fight theme music starts.
<Nigma> Did they break out into a delivery duel to the death?
<Zenith> I was prepared for parcel projectiles and fedex fatalities.
<Zenith> They eyed each other, and I knew something was about to happen...
<Zenith> But then the guy changed the channel to "Trading Spaces" and the fight was over.
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Quote: 331947; Rating: -98; [+|-]
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Krackers2087: fucking spyware crap
Krackers2087: evil bastards
Krackers2087: theyre like the hitlers of the 21st century
Krackers2087: before you know it theyll get ideas
Krackers2087: and soon they'll be flooding your screen with popups like KILL THE JEWS!!
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Quote: 331963; Rating: 805; [+|-]
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<Face> I worked at a compusa
<Face> People go in their knowing nothing about computers, and get had.
<AngryLlama> Face: any electronics store does this; I was in Best Buy yesterday and the guy actually felt the need to tell me "A megabyte is like a kilobyte, except really big"
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Quote: 332044; Rating: 1507; [+|-]
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<%kiwibonga> Je ne donne pas un merde - I don't give a shit
<%kiwibonga> THAT MAKES NO SENSE
<%kiwibonga> you cannot give a shit to someone
<%kiwibonga> in french
<%kiwibonga> that sounds like "I'm taking a shit in my hands and I'm keeping it for myself"
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Quote: 332050; Rating: 529; [+|-]
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<SubWolf> Do you know the number of times I've walked into a room and had some guy go "Here comes Jesus"?!? That was back in the big beard & long hair days.
<MrPilot> hehe
<C> Bloody hippy
<SubWolf> I used to say "Yeah, and you've sinned, motherfuckers."
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Quote: 332053; Rating: 1672; [+|-]
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<headlessj> i dl winrar, and it came in a .rar file
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Quote: 332203; Rating: 2497; [+|-]
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* jtal sets mode: +v
<jtal> no more talking from you young man
Mash- is now known as -WTF-_
-WTF-_ is now known as givemev
givemev is now known as plz-
plz- is now known as comon1
comon1 is now known as usux-
* usux- has quit IRC (you suck cock give me voice)
* usux- has joined #MethaneDev
* usux- has quit IRC (come on don't be a bitch)
* usux- has joined #MethaneDev
<jtal> OMFG DO YOU NOT SHUT THE FUCK UP! HOLY FUCKING SHIT JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP MAN! GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!!%!!!@!$@!)(@#*!()@)$04812041892801392onetwoninethreesevensix
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Quote: 332362; Rating: 534; [+|-]
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<khjb007>i got a way to tell if your mind's dirty or not
<kpgongju226>aight
<khjb007>what's a four letter word, that describes a girl, and ends in u-n-t?
<kpgongju226> cunt? wait. shit, that's dirty...
<khjb007>lol, its aunt you dumbarse...
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Quote: 332436; Rating: -179; [+|-]
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Name|ess: i have a fetish for captain planet tho
Name|ess: :>
Name|ess: he can put his finger in my ring anytime
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Quote: 332611; Rating: 315; [+|-]
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<DrBoB> sex is so over-rated...
<DrBoB> and i dought it's gonna be much better with someone from the opposite sex.
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Quote: 333161; Rating: 1001; [+|-]
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<+lisa`> well, sometimes, when the moon is right i like to print out the source code to the Linux kernel, scatter them on the floor, lube myself up and roll around in the printed code.
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Quote: 333255; Rating: 463; [+|-]
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<bloodeu> Fortunately, I have a six pack that turns women on instantly
<skittz> is it bud light?
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Quote: 333309; Rating: 1079; |
<Mike>You don't even know what a foo is
<Chris> of course i do... It's the guy you pity.
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Quote: 333392; Rating: 240; [+|-]
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Rabidplaybunny87: It is better to be pissed off than pissed on.
DAGREATONE951: Tell that to r. kelly.
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Quote: 333409; Rating: 4076; [+|-]
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<Freezer_Burn> how do i removed a burned in image from my monitor
<seamuso> buy a new monitor
<Freezer_Burn> i cant
<Kornchild> how did you burn an image into yoru monitor?
<Freezer_Burn> i set it to full screen at high brightness and fell asleep
<Freezer_Burn> there is a faint outline of a naked lady with her legs wide open showing her privates
<Freezer_Burn> and i i have to remove it before my mom comes home tomorrow night
<trance`> Freezer_Burn LMFAO
<meanolthing`> lol
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Quote: 333423; Rating: 1645; [+|-]
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<zilla1126> When I woke up this morning I had semen in my underwear.
<nadervader22> ....
<zilla1126> I'm concerned because it did not taste like mine.
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Quote: 333424; Rating: 183; [+|-]
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<kn1ves> How do you think Jesse Jackson would react if he got asked to answer the white courtesy phone?
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Quote: 333425; Rating: 1397; [+|-]
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<Dr_Willis> I also got a "force feedback" mouse :P
AzMoo[w] [[email protected]] has joined #***
<Dr_Willis> wife hates it.. "It Bit me!"
<Dr_Willis> i had the Vibe set to max. she thohgh she was getting electrical-shocks
<Dr_Willis> :P
<AzMoo[w]> wow, I came in on the right conversation ...
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Quote: 334331; Rating: 9931; [+|-]
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<LordChewy> so my dad found my porn folder
<LordChewy> and he was getting all pissed
<LordChewy> so its all like "does this surprise you? i'm not stupid you know"
<LordChewy> "i know dad"
<LordChewy> "what do you have to say for yourself?"
<LordChewy> at this point i stare at him straight in the eyes and say "C:Documents and SettingsRickyMy Documentsfaxessent faxes"
<LordChewy> and he just shut up
<kingKahn> what is it?
<LordChewy> its his porn folder
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Quote: 334679; Rating: 624; [+|-]
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<^sWift> omfg
<^sWift> this shit is horrible
<^sWift> McDonalds now offering a free music download with the purchase of a Big Mac Extra Value Meal
<^sWift> "an average of 12 songs on a CD, so that's about 7200 calories you will need to consume in order to get an album's worth of music"
<^sWift> ahaha
<^sWift> People are willing to slowly kill themselves for free mp3s
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Quote: 334762; Rating: 10708; [+|-]
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<UKDJ|Planet> I swear to god
<UKDJ|Planet> I've just heard a duck tell a joke
<Jock> o...k
<UKDJ|Planet> there was as group of ducks on a pond near where i live
<UKDJ|Planet> one of the ducks was quacking away looking straight at a group of like 10 ducks
<UKDJ|Planet> then he stopped and all the other ducks went mental
<UKDJ|Planet> it looked just like duck stand-up comedy
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Quote: 334887; Rating: 1572; [+|-]
|
atty: my face hurts
Chester: why is that
atty: well, my grandmother is like a radical feminist
atty: and she came downstairs while i was eating my ribs and took one
atty: and i go, DAMN WOMEN... ALWAYS STEALING A RIB FROM US MEN
atty: so she slapped me
Chester: dumbass
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Quote: 334911; Rating: 2164; [+|-]
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ThAJuGgAlEtTe987: Every night, someone thinks about you before they go to sleep. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way. The only reason someone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you. There are at least 2 people in this worldthat youu would die for. You mean the world to someone.
Someone that you dont even know exists loves you. When youuu make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look again. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget the rude remarks. So if you are a loving friend, send this to everyone
on you list
ZooTYaDeaDHomiE: Go Fuck Yourself
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Quote: 335086; Rating: 1349; [+|-]
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<aoe2junkie> i wonder what my dog tries to say to me when he barks
<Karath-Din> "stop touching me there"
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Quote: 335219; Rating: 1635; [+|-]
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<caca_lialia> my brother was wanking in front of computer.
<devil> how do you know?:)
<caca_lialia> the mouse is on the left side...
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