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Quote: 246164; Rating: 147; [+|-]
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<InvisibleCaper> anyway, if youll excuse me, i have to kill myself
<InvisibleCaper> i unintentionally gave myself the image of rosie odonnel frisking herself
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Quote: 246190; Rating: 807; [+|-]
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<@FirebirdGM> What a gayass question. This is on my Chemistry Homework.
<@FirebirdGM> 'If x = 4, What is x equal to?'
<Trispectz> LOL
<@FirebirdGM> How the hell does that relate to HydroCarbons. That isn't even a real question.
<@FirebirdGM> Damn stoner teacher.
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Quote: 246239; Rating: 537; [+|-]
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CREdragon) it takes a man very comfortable in his heterosexuallity to have sex with another man
CREdragon) ... wait that came out wrong
~SS) ..
~SS) You have been bashed.
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Quote: 246241; Rating: 242; |
--> Kelle has joined #vendetta
<StarFreeze> What goes up must come down. You're gonna run out of Viagra soon enough.
<Kelle> I came in here at the WRONG time..
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Quote: 246243; Rating: 310; [+|-]
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<Brynneh|w3rk> im doing my girlfriend all weekend
<Brynneh|w3rk> lol whoops
<Penfold> doesnt stop
<Brynneh|w3rk> *doing stuff
<Brynneh|w3rk> *doing stuff with
<Cavey> I shall mention that quote to her when I next se her
<Brynneh|w3rk> that was the mother of all typos
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Quote: 246262; Rating: 493; [+|-]
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<Zardoz> Damn those blow-up sheep.
<Zardoz> I got fucking TWO of them for my 21st.
<Zardoz> wtf.
<Zardoz> from DIFFERENT PEOPLE !
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Quote: 246267; Rating: 1334; [+|-]
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<Maddawy> see i always wonder when i'm lookin at pr0n and jerking off so to speak
<Maddawy> and if my mom walks in.. would i hide my dick or the pr0n?
<cerebrus> jerking off so to speak? wtf? jerking off is jerking off, you don't need to so to speak.. RETARD
<Maddawy> whatever...
<greeny> see this hypothetical scenario happened to me...
<Maddawy> lol.. wat did u do?
<greeny> as the matter of fact i did neither..
<greeny> see, it was after the point of no return.. so i just ejaculated, while quietly moaning and looking at my mom apologeticaly
<Maddawy> LOL AHAHAHAHAHAHAH
<greeny> yes.. it's one of the main reasons why i live on campus now...
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Quote: 246310; Rating: 230; [+|-]
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<incoherent>:I AM not giving steam my fucking credit card.
<Adopted>: can I have it?
<incoherent> Yah sure, you seem more secure then STEAM....
<KellyX>: LOL ouch....
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Quote: 246380; Rating: 485; [+|-]
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Alex: what do i click on 2 d/l it
giorgio: didnt i just give you the direct link?
Alex: yea u did but want part on it do i click to start the d/l
Alex: Download via CNet dBpowerAMP Music Converter Release 10.1?
giorgio: Normally DOWNLOAD means it DOWNLOADS the fucking file
Alex: i dont see anythign that says it
Alex: the page is still kinda loading
Alex: does it come up under the picture?
giorgio: what... are you talking... about
giorgio: click download and wait
Alex: theres a little picture
giorgio: what .. picture?
giorgio: ok my friend told me what to do next
giorgio: you right click on your C drive, or your local drive, and then click format
Alex: right under the black heading dBpowerAMP Music Converter (dMC)
giorgio: you shouldnt be on the computer
giorgio: JUST CLICK THE FUCKING LINK
Alex: dude
Alex: i opened the link
giorgio: and then!?
Alex: i just dont know where to go next
giorgio: are you at download.com now?
Alex: i need directions
Alex: im at the LINK!
giorgio: RIGHT
giorgio: and what do you see?
Alex: that u sent me!
giorgio: you're still at the one i sent!??D?Sgfoih3597gh3
Alex: i see a heading called dBpowerAMP Music Converter (dMC)
Alex: theres alittle picture right under it
giorgio: you told me yourself you saw the link "download blah blah"
Alex: i said there somethign called Download via CNet dBpowerAMP Music Converter Release 10.1
Alex: is that what i click to d/l it?
giorgio: are you kidding?
giorgio: it SAYS "download"
giorgio: what ELSE would you click!?GFryf93654j542
giorgio: u642u64
giorgio: 43houtwwytrw
giorgio: hyteu3643
Alex: well there was so many options
giorgio: but it was the only fucking "download" optioN!
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Quote: 246405; Rating: 10060; [+|-]
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<[BAC]Draxon|TWL> "The animals will hear!" bellowed the ear licking penguin as the awesomely endowed midget sucked her oozing charlies and plugged his purple middle leg into her festering cunt.
<[BAC]Draxon|TWL> oops
<[BAC]Draxon|TWL> wrong window
<d|syztem> what the FUCK
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Quote: 246432; Rating: 510; [+|-]
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<kiwibonga> oh fuck
<kiwibonga> it's 5:45AM
<kiwibonga> you'd think I would have noticed since it's written next to every fucking line in this window
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Quote: 246465; Rating: 385; [+|-]
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<FeLisha`> Im not a barbie girl, and I dont listen to any of the music they do, but I still don't like being made fun of.
<FeLisha`> They always put me down, I have like a negative amount of self esteem right now.
<endoskelet0n> guess what
<FeLisha`> What
<endoskelet0n> fuck them.
<FeLisha`> You dont think ive tried
<endoskelet0n> lol
<FeLisha`> wait
<FeLisha`> ...that sounded bad
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Quote: 246467; Rating: 905; [+|-]
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<Thiefmaster> Fucking hell man
<Pegster> what?
<Thiefmaster> my brother just blew a mouse up in the microwave
<Thiefmaster> he thought he could warm up his mouse for feeding the snake
<Thiefmaster> iam glad stupidty passed to the youngest in the family
<Thiefmaster> godamm the whole house smells like death mouse
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Quote: 246484; Rating: 83; [+|-]
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expyro: I loved setting those things that came in the packages on fire. THey would ignite, then explode. Then on exploded in my hair. It wasnt funny anymore
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Quote: 246488; Rating: 882; [+|-]
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<homenerd> How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
<homenerd> Fish
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Quote: 246512; Rating: 335; [+|-]
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cwelks: I found out that if you are out of dishwashing detergent, that you shouldnt replace it in the dishwasher with Tide.
cwelks: Bubbles all over the kitchen
jmmoxey: HAHAHAHA
cwelks: Not my brightest moment
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Quote: 246540; Rating: 526; [+|-]
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<syberghost> Ok, it's clear that I'm losing my mind; I had the TV muted so it wouldn't interrupt our conversation.
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Quote: 246585; Rating: 495; [+|-]
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Montehall: eh 9 inches less and I would have a scar
TwitchOSX: lol
TwitchOSX: uh huh
HomeBrewR: 9" less and you'd have a 7" deep pussy
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Quote: 246589; Rating: 483; [+|-]
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<Andoryuu> I KICK YOU AND EAT YOUR BACON.
<BuruusuEXE> I have no bacon.
<Andoryuu> Well...
<Andoryuu> I KICK YOU
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Quote: 246605; Rating: 422; [+|-]
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<DoCa-Cola> ALL rap is bullshit
<DoCa-Cola> all it is is "fuck that nigger, he fucked my woman, fuck that woman, she fucked my nigga"
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Quote: 246810; Rating: 320; [+|-]
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<Drag> Hi Melvin
<Drag> How's it hanging?
<Melvin> From hooks in the ceiling.
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Quote: 246829; Rating: 128; [+|-]
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<Eiko> CyberSitter: The Virus you can BUY!
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Quote: 246870; Rating: 971; [+|-]
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<mindstorms> windows asked me to put in a new password, and i put in penis.
<mindstorms> and it told me to come up with a new fucking joke.
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Quote: 247517; Rating: 319; [+|-]
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<Mr_Nutty> once in a west texas town of el paso
<Mr_Nutty> I fell in love with a mexican girl
<Fina> It didn't stop her from charging you, though
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Quote: 247524; Rating: 334; [+|-]
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< euronium> i never understood the concept behind flavor colored condoms
< Skarack_> do you suck dick?
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Quote: 247790; Rating: 1010; [+|-]
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<Cold_Fyre> back. I had to talk to my sister about sumtin
<fReAkEr> is she hot?
<Cold_Fyre> She's 8...
<Cold_Fyre> O.o
<fReAkEr> I didnt ask her age...
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Quote: 247808; Rating: 193; [+|-]
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<Vile> I saw the most hilarious billboard today. All white, with black letters. '"Invite me back to school." - God.' <Vile> A being that can create a sunset must communicate with us by way of our BILLBOARDS! <Vile> *Driving, glances up at one such board* "Jerry. Don't sleep with your neighbors wife.
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Quote: 247834; Rating: 252; [+|-]
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ArgosBM : hell, i think i modong protty good for typihg whting my eyes closed
ArgosBM : ...or not...
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Quote: 247843; Rating: 326; [+|-]
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* Joins: kcar181-
<kcar181-> baah
<kcar181-> My HDD drive is dead
<@matt1frek> dead?
<kcar181-> dead
<kcar181-> like the bios says "Where the fuck did your HDD go?"
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Quote: 248750; Rating: 736; [+|-]
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vince: i just emailed the hotmail staff that i wasnt able to open and read any emails
vince: my email: i have a problem, i cant open or read any emails
vince: they answered: yes you can
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Quote: 249194; Rating: 330; [+|-]
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<Dokstarr> can anyone think of a good way to appeal and indecent exposure charge.. i can't believe people would actually cite me for that :(
<Zanza> dokstarr: how indecent?
<Xagemo> Dokstarr, say that your clothes had been soaked in some kind of acid
<Dokstarr> i only mooned people from a car windown.. and then at a toll booth mooned people fot a while
<Dokstarr> sunroof
<Zanza> can't think of an excuse for that
<Krinos> of course you run the risk of people chucking stuff at your naket arse
<Dokstarr> who knew a cop would be waiting a mile down because people called and complained
<Xagemo> Dokstarr, i think you are screwed
<Dokstarr> dont 136 people have better things to do than call the cops
<Dokstarr> krinos they loved my "arse" they probably took some snapshots
<Krinos> people who love an arse don't call the cops -_-
<Aoshi> lol.
<Dokstarr> when the cop stopped me i thought maybe only 1 or 2 called.. .but 136 they need a life
<Zanza> 136 people?
<Dokstarr> yeah i did all the way down the highway.. then at the toll booth.. and then when there was a traffic jam
<Dokstarr> well i am off... gotta think of some sort of plea bargain or something to get it off my record...
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Quote: 249231; Rating: 1521; [+|-]
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<MrCoffee> my pokemon bring all those nerds to the yard and there like, do you wanna trade cards, damn right, lets trade some cards, ill trade you, but not my charizard
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Quote: 250375; Rating: 222; [+|-]
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<Fuyutski> Canada has 32,200,000 people. :o
<Dami> And I am one of them. XD
<Fuyutski> America has 290,300,000
<Fuyutski> =o
<Dami> Fuyu: We're bigger, and we're on top. If this was prison, they'd be our BITCH.
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Quote: 250661; Rating: 1005; [+|-]
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<RSX-2003> my friend might get suspended from school
<RSX-2003> she's enrolled in child developement, so she has to work with the special kids on campus
<RSX-2003> and they had their own dance, and my friend cintheia was the DJ
<RSX-2003> and she put on the song by black eyed peas called "lets get retarded"
<RSX-2003> if she didn't start laughing she probably wouldn't have gotten in trouble
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Quote: 251404; Rating: 37; [+|-]
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<the-dude> Is there something like an API Documentation for c++?
<mod7t9z730> the-dude, windows api -> msdn
<mod7t9z730> http://msdn.microsoft.com
<the-dude> for linux?
<mod7t9z730> uhm
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Quote: 251614; Rating: 3; [+|-]
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<strlen> i know someone who was half german half korean
<strlen> i asked him if he makes soap out of his dog
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Quote: 251739; Rating: 404; [+|-]
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<Null> So I downloaded the O'Reilly bookshelf set on cd
<Null> Then I couldn't mount the iso
<Null> Out of curiosity I ran file on it and found out it was a Divx 3 file
<Null> So apparently my O'Reilly bookshelf iso set is softcore porn
<Null> I'd hate to be the guy who downloaded porn and got my bookshelf set
<Calidore> Well, now he can improve himself while downloading porn.
<Calidore> You, on the other hand, can look for the books one-handed.
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Quote: 251985; Rating: 113; [+|-]
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<dlanod> The great thing about aural sex is that you can play it by ear.
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Quote: 252134; Rating: 542; [+|-]
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<Kyle> The band Disturbed is holding open auditions for a new bass player. That's my ticket outta this hell hole! Hey, where can I rent a bass?
<icabod> I'll lend you one
<Kyle> Niiiice. Now, how do I play?
<icabod> It's just like guitar, except you get fewer chicks
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Quote: 252198; Rating: 2087; [+|-]
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<Kuja> How many Dragon Ball Z characters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but it takes three episodes.
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Quote: 252293; Rating: 451; [+|-]
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<Mattimeo> I've decidedthat IRC is an MMORPG where I play the role of a hopeless nerd :(
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Quote: 252487; Rating: 118; [+|-]
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<TheOracle> :
<TheOracle> WHY IS AIM A WHORE?
<jednet> she's young and needs the money
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Quote: 252491; Rating: 39; [+|-]
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<Gadfly> Did you see The Passion of the Christ yet? I hear Salman Rushdie's writing the novelization.
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Quote: 252577; Rating: 478; [+|-]
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<Shinitenshi> "No entry found for faces."
<Shinitenshi> "Did you mean feces?"
<Shinitenshi> Fucking thesarus.com.
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Quote: 252655; Rating: 428; [+|-]
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Lah Deez Mahn: sweet
Lah Deez Mahn: outlook 2004
Lah Deez Mahn: now handles
Lah Deez Mahn: all my email accounts
Lah Deez Mahn: from *everywhere*
Lah Deez Mahn: hotmail, adelphia, yahoo, b4k3r.com
Lah Deez Mahn: ahh, i like it
afmomania: now all you need is someone to email you
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Quote: 252656; Rating: 1745; [+|-]
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<Nyphur> DIX has a point. That kind of muscle development at that age isn't something to be celebrated. It's unnatural and as such, the body isn't designed to do it. It's going to cause him unforseen problems in the future.
<Nyphur> Good. He deserves it.
<MonkeyDLuffy> ...?
<MonkeyDLuffy> Nyphur, did you just reply to what you just typed?
<Nyphur> I did, yes. This kind of thing happens at 4AM.
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Quote: 252713; Rating: 400; [+|-]
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* Now talking in #linux
<jeramir> hello, can somebody recommend me a good p2p program?
<glassjoe> GoBuyIt v6.03
<jeramir> i can't find it
<glassjoe> ...
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Quote: 252759; Rating: 533; [+|-]
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<DuTcHiN> This dude at my work had red hair so we call him santa.
<XtACY> ???????
<DuTcHiN> Well he obviously has a red sack
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Quote: 252793; Rating: 496; [+|-]
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<DuTcHiN> U know how you get all lazy and wash your clothes at the last minute?
<EVILeye04> Um, yeah
<DuTcHiN> Well i was ready to go out to this party right, so there i was irc'ing in my shirt and boxers waiting for the load of washing to finish..... and i hear my ride beep from out the front, so i log off, grab my phoe, wallet and half-wet pants from the wash and throw them on and as i am bout to get out the door
mum yells 'Wait' so i go 'no time mum' and hop in the car. By the time we get to the city and get out there is this weird smell.....
<EVILeye04> and????
<DuTcHiN> And then i turn on my mobile phone and see '1 message received' from 'mum' ---> Sorry i tried to get you to come back, the cat puked in the washing machine. So i had to spend the rest of the night in my stinky pants and all the chicks looked at me funny. :(
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Quote: 252818; Rating: 1129; [+|-]
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<B-HAX> damnit my neighbor enabled security on his wifi router
<B-HAX> i am so annoyed
<B-HAX> i probably shouldnt have stuck the antenna right in my window pointing at his house
<B-HAX> i don't give people very much credit sometimes
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