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Quote: 131727; Rating: 208; [+|-]
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<indigo> redhat has become a thing of its own, apart from linux
<indigo> it's the entropy of linux combined with the uselessness of a corporate product |
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Quote: 131775; Rating: -82; [+|-]
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<eps> i never thought i would jack off to richard simons
<denver> jesus
<denver> you jack off to richard simons?
<Ch0p> thats sick... |
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Quote: 131975; Rating: 462; [+|-]
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<DasBub> he also had a book called "Good Sex"
<DasBub> he's an engineer, he needs a manual for everything |
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Quote: 132770; Rating: 255; [+|-]
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<jomamaugly14> i cant get on irc!@!!!
<jomamaugly14> im banned
<Xenon> you *are* on irc !!! |
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Quote: 133750; Rating: 432; [+|-]
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<Calren> Zaphod, do you think that if I arrange AOL CD's in a pentagram I will be able to use the powers of darkness to control the actions of mortals? |
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Quote: 133771; Rating: 662; [+|-]
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<EL3CTRO> 1 for me, 2 for bob
* EL3CTRO pours beer into his computer case
* EL3CTRO hears a bang
* EL3CTRO ([email protected]) Quit (Killed (Zaphod (Connection reset by beer))) |
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Quote: 134499; Rating: 494; [+|-]
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(@Zaphod): ok, this is just getting all kinds of fucked up
(@Zaphod): what exactly do you want working
(@Zaphod): the linux machine can see the switch, forget about that
(@Zaphod): what do you want it to be able to do through the switch ?
(+Andross): i want to be able to share internet via the switch with my linux box
(@Zaphod): the same linux box thats dual booted with the windows machine you are on now ?
(+Andross): yeah |
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Quote: 134503; Rating: 264; [+|-]
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(Calren): question: if I get three female friends saying they like me int he space of 3 minutes, does this mean the end of the world is here?
(@Zaphod): Calren - it means some fucker let the guide dogs off their leashes again at the blind school |
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Quote: 134558; Rating: 339; [+|-]
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<Fr0d0> Just imagin what wars would be like if instead of battle hardend soldiers, they used nerds and geeks.
<H4ndalfTehGh3y> "D00d! j00 sh0tz0r m333!11!11 Wut r u?!?!? 4 FFFFAAAAGGG?!!!?!" |
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Quote: 134607; Rating: 263; [+|-]
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<VashTS> im going to make a pop up that provides for them all, " DO YOU NEED CREDIT , OR A LARGE PENIS , OR BIGGER BUST SIZE , OR A LOAN ,,, WELL THEN CLICK THIS LINK TO BRING UP 900 MORE POP UPS AND FORMS TO FILL OUT WHICH WILL NEVER MEAN ANYTHING CUS YOU HAVE NO MONEY , A SMALL PENIS , NO BOOBS , AND NO ONE IN THERE RIGHT MIND WOULD GIVE YOU MONEY , OR DATE YOU , OR ANYTHING , CUS YOUR A NERD , A FUCKIN COMPUTER NERD , SO IGNORE THIS AND CLICK THE X" |
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Quote: 134610; Rating: 298; [+|-]
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<Urashima> I wonder if it's morally defensible to kill my neighbours for having a crappy taste in music and wanting to share it with me early in the morning... -_- |
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Quote: 134835; Rating: 1153; [+|-]
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<@maddox> hehe.. man, Norton Antivirus sucks. All it does it bog everything down, I clicked on the "optimize my computer" setting and it just uninstalled itself. |
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Quote: 134858; Rating: 128; [+|-]
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(Zaphod): now, would you like knee pads for that, or are you going bare back ?
(Matthew): doesnt matter, its only irc
(Matthew): so you choose
(Zaphod): Matthew - whatever you like, as long as you wear pretty red lipstick, its all good with me
(Matthew): k, but let me get my tweasers and magnifying glass
(Zaphod): you wanking yourself at the same time huh ?
(Zaphod): kinky |
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Quote: 135115; Rating: 697; [+|-]
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(Scorpion): hi
(Scorpion): do you spek englu00fdsh
(Scorpion): do you spek turkish
(Scorpion): admu00fdn
(Scorpion): #zurna canal for sale ?
(Zaphod): You want to buy the channel #zurna?
(Scorpion): okey
(Scorpion): #zurna canal for sale ?
(Scorpion): what good is
(Zaphod): Sorry, i dont quite understand you
(Zaphod): You want to pay money for the channel?
(Scorpion): what good is
(Zaphod): what good is ?
(Zaphod): that doesnt make any sense
(Scorpion): how much
(Zaphod): How much will you pay, what is fair you think ?
(Scorpion): do you speek turkihs
(Zaphod): no
(Scorpion): hu00fdms
(Scorpion): sop to add
(Scorpion): alo
(Zaphod): Hi
(Zaphod): how much will you pay?
(Scorpion): 10$
(Zaphod): make it $30 and you have a deal
(Scorpion): 10$
(Zaphod): No deal
(Scorpion): 15$
(Scorpion): ?
(Zaphod): $30 is the price
(Zaphod): that is a good channel
(Scorpion): 20$ ?
(Zaphod): ok, ok, its your lucky day, im feeling in a good
mood and i just got a new shipment of channels in, u00a320 is fine
(Scorpion): end money
(Zaphod): How will you pay
(Scorpion): give me check number
(Zaphod): lol
(Zaphod): im joking with you
(Zaphod): Channels are not for sale
[(Scorpion): ?
(Scorpion): u00a320
(Scorpion): okey
(Zaphod): No sale
[(Zaphod): Not selling
[(Scorpion): why ?
[(Zaphod): Channels are not for sale
(Scorpion): oky.
(Scorpion): insistenly canal
(Scorpion): ?
(Scorpion): insistently canal to want?
(Scorpion): pls
(Scorpion): alo
(Scorpion): to speak
(Scorpion): plssss. :( |
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Quote: 135909; Rating: 180; [+|-]
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<cdk> the computer admin at the office is just the kinda LINUX 0wnZ WIND0wZ nazi
<cdk> and he's goddamn paranoid
<cdk> and he smells
<@noosie> most linux guru's smell
<@noosie> linux before personal hygiene... that's their moto
<cdk> do most linux guru's whistle and make awful jokes and hysterically laugh at their OWN jokes? |
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Quote: 136144; Rating: 449; [+|-]
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<Dain-EvenDumber> I have a theory
<Dain-EvenDumber> A theory that the current Prime Minister of Canada is the smartest man on the planet
<Dain-EvenDumber> And his brilliant ideas would have ushered Canada into a new age of prosperity and power, overcoming even the United States...
<Dain-EvenDumber> if only people could understand what he was saying |
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Quote: 136322; Rating: 250; [+|-]
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<Treen> Damnit, why on earth are they making Max Payne 2 a fricking LOVE STORY?
<Mithrandir> because love is cool
<Exspes> Because everything has to have a love story in it
<Exspes> Lord of the Rings was about Sam and Frodo
<Treen> <_<
* Dr_Nick smacks Ex
<Exspes> Smoochies.
<Exspes> The Hobbit was about Bilbo and that dwarf king
<Exspes> It'd be cool to be able to jump into books
<Treen> ... |
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Quote: 136332; Rating: 251; [+|-]
|
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<Cthulhuberries> the only tests I get right are pregnancy tests :P |
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Quote: 136343; Rating: 159; [+|-]
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<+OwnzYa> work?
<+OwnzYa> whats that?
<@Wapwap> That explains why you are so fat |
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Quote: 136344; Rating: 25; [+|-]
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onkeybutt87: what are you up to?
UpDogWkeBoarder: just chatin, i might have pancacks for dinner
onkeybutt87: that sentence makes me sad
onkeybutt87: a pancack?
UpDogWkeBoarder: lol
UpDogWkeBoarder: i'm typing to like three people
UpDogWkeBoarder: that's a lot for me
onkeybutt87: trust me, it's a lot for us too
UpDogWkeBoarder: hahaha
UpDogWkeBoarder: you type fast
UpDogWkeBoarder: i don't
onkeybutt87: yeah, I also type well
UpDogWkeBoarder: yeah
UpDogWkeBoarder: that's trure |
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Quote: 136351; Rating: 40; [+|-]
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<S1> i'm royally pissed off
<S1> i was giving my grandmother a ride into town so she could pick up her car
<S1> as i went through an intersection
<S1> a car making a right turn decided she diddn't want to go into the right lane wich was clear
<S1> nooooooooo she had to jump RIGHT in front of me
<S1> I had my 70 year old grand mother in the car
<S1> i almost rear ended the fuck out of an SUV
<S1> it could have easily put my grandmother in the hospital
<S1> bitch is lucky didn't rip her lungs out through her ass
<A1> you were going to rip your grandmothers lungs out through her ass? |
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Quote: 136355; Rating: 236; [+|-]
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<mReD> wtf happend to that blaster virus
<mReD> did microsoft get attacked
<]Oxygen[> they pointed www.windowsupdate.com somewhere else
<]Oxygen[> what they should have done is point it at apple.com |
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Quote: 136360; Rating: 252; [+|-]
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<Ron> Not all those tricks are that amazing.
<Lance> Hey, if a dog can get a server up in Korea before it gets eaten, I'd give that a 9. |
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Quote: 136365; Rating: 246; [+|-]
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<+Jenda_away> javascript:OpenPortalContentWin(110714,%20400,%20550,%20'110714_dragracer.swf',%20'DragRacer%20v2');
<@contagious> Not sure that link is gunna werk;]
<+Jenda_away> www.javascript:OpenPortalContentWin(110714,%20400,%20550,%20'110714_dragracer.swf',%20'DragRacer%20v2');.com
<@contagious> lol
<@contagious> That one either
<+Jenda_away> hmm
<+Jenda_away> fuck you |
|
Quote: 136366; Rating: 982; [+|-]
|
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<KoKaiNo> i just got pwnd what does that mean? |
|
Quote: 136376; Rating: 375; [+|-]
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<Blade> Too bad your ex wasn't there.
<Sonsquidku_V> She was in f*cking San Diego. Can you believe that?
<Sonsquidku_V> There's like nothing there. It's mexican canada.
<Blade> Seriously, it's like LA took a crap.
<Sonsquidku_V> And then that crap took a crap.
<Sonsquidku_V> And picked through the crap to find a land mine.
<Sonsquidku_V> And threw it at my mom.
<Blade> XD
<Sonsquidku_V> Who fell down the stairs.
<Sonsquidku_V> And into a hole which led to China.
<Sonsquidku_V> And that's why I haven't seen her for the last 15 years.
<Blade> You have some issues, Dan. |
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Quote: 136377; Rating: 404; [+|-]
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[+Freeder] The Angry Dragon
[+Freeder] Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she'll look like an angry dragon. |
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Quote: 136392; Rating: 263; [+|-]
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<Misteroo>u00a0 I'M PART ITALIAN. MAMA MIA, I GUNA YOU DOWN
<Misteroo>u00a0 YES I WILL! THEN I WILL DRAW A STILL LIFE OF THE SPAGHETTI WHICH I EAT VERY OFTEN
<winterwinstar> draw a bunch of pirahnna plants and green pipes
<Misteroo>u00a0 WINTER THAT IS OFFENSIVE I LIVED IN THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM THERE WEREN'T THAT MANY PIPES :{ |
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Quote: 136428; Rating: 336; [+|-]
|
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<Pander> Isn't that like a greek tragedy? A man who spends all his time downloading porn but never gets to look at it? |
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Quote: 136432; Rating: 343; [+|-]
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<Boogaleeboo> ...soul, what was the exact name of the file you sent me? <Boogaleeboo> I seem to have fucking LOST it
<SHODAN> I'll find it.
<deVoca> Boog, search on "12_year_old_hardcore.avi"
<Boogaleeboo> Too many results |
|
Quote: 136439; Rating: 262; [+|-]
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* Jedi_Peni is now known as Jedi_Penis
<melusine> Please don't show us the power of the force. |
|
Quote: 136444; Rating: 492; [+|-]
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<NeroMan> "Queer Eye For A Straight Guy" would be better if at the end of the episode the five gay guys combined into a giant one
<MattW> I'll form the ARM
<Karva> I want to be the crotch
<NeroMan> "I'll give the head"
<NeroMan> I mean.. form the head. |
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Quote: 136460; Rating: 432; [+|-]
|
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<PunisherBass> I'd rather smear my nuts in honey and then tea bag a red ant hill than watch the matrix reloaded again |
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Quote: 136465; Rating: 372; [+|-]
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<CarnivorousPlant> dog + compost /= (dog+compost)
<CarnivorousPlant> (dog+compost) = dog^compost
<CarnivorousPlant> and if any mathematicians object, they are free to come over here and smell this blasted dog |
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Quote: 136477; Rating: 562; [+|-]
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<robbie212> where are you getting this stuff?
<bahumbug> robbie212: www.freedvdrsforpeoplethatarentjewish.com
<robbie212> it doesn't work
<bahumbug> you must be jewish |
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Quote: 136478; Rating: 219; [+|-]
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<Nukeitall> Hey guys, I need a list of issues people always discuss but can never truly resolve.
<Dreadnought> whether god really DOES kill a kitten every time a person masturbates
<Dreadnought> and if domokun are real
<WizardofWestmarch> oh domo is real
<Treen> yeah, domo's real
<Astyanax> pfft of course domo is real
* Dreadnought puts on his domo suit
<Astyanax> doiiiii
<WizardofWestmarch> look at all his crazy hijinks living with Usajii
<Nukeitall> Domokun kills kittens because of a large tumor making him think god speaks to him. next. |
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Quote: 136485; Rating: 36; [+|-]
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<Ralph`> u know teh way balck ppl talk?
<Ralph`> how tehy say "thur" stead of "there" and "hur" stead of "hair"?
<AXEiii> ...?
<Ralph`> how do you think they say "her" as in... "her"?
<DeAZNriDe> that bitch |
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Quote: 136486; Rating: 137; [+|-]
|
<Alman> Stacy's mom has got it goin' on, ooh yeah...
<Tyrillis> U see the video for that
<Tyrillis> Her mom is pretty hot
<Alman> yea
<Alman> stacy's not too bad
<Alman> either
Tyrillis> :P
<Alman> but she's like 10
<Alman> so that sucks |
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Quote: 136487; Rating: 176; [+|-]
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(iTM): are you racist?
(killjesus): gosh
(killjesus): here we go again
(killjesus): jumping to conclusions
(killjesus): will it make you feel better if i tell you my name is Adolf
(killjesus): and that i think black people are lesser human beings? |
|
Quote: 136494; Rating: 665; [+|-]
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<Flammie> I have a secret.
<Flammie> I'm deaf.
* Chibi points and laughs in braile |
|
Quote: 136501; Rating: 642; [+|-]
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< mfh> fuck
< mfh> no matter how good of a programmer you think you may be, designing a fast algorithm is still hard fucking shit.
<@solar> did you consider that maybe you're not a good programmer |
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Quote: 136504; Rating: 1038; [+|-]
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<a_passerby> fuck, well, i got an offer to be keyboardist/pianist for a band for "funk music"
<a_passerby> but i dont listen to funk music
<a_passerby> and the guy who asked me is a moron
<a_passerby> "yeah man, i dont use kazaa anymore. you know your computer broadcasts an ip address?"
<a_passerby> thats an EXACT QUOTE
<Everdraed-sleepytime> MY GOD AN IP ADDRESS
<Everdraed-sleepytime> MY HOUSE IS BROADCASTiNG A STREET ADDRESS |
|
Quote: 136506; Rating: -15; [+|-]
|
<YoshiJRC> Who wants to freestyle!
<YoshiJRC> Here I go!
<YoshiJRC> TWO ALL BEEF PATTIES SPECIAL SAUCE LETTUCE CHEESE PICKLES ONIONS ON A SES'ME SEED BUNNN! PICKLES ONIONS ON A SES'ME SEED BUNNN!!
<YoshiJRC> I BEAT YOU ALL! |
|
Quote: 136509; Rating: 81; [+|-]
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<idlerakefighter> What's the deal with Ovaltine
<Sarah> the cup's round :(
<Sarah> the container's round :(
<Sarah> why isn't it roundtine? |
|
Quote: 136510; Rating: 28; [+|-]
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<fork> oh cool
<fork> theres a pube in my keyboard |
|
Quote: 136514; Rating: 1075; [+|-]
|
<fry> i remember the first time i had a boner i thought it was cacner or something
<fry> because i used to be smart and shit and i learned in class that tumers were "uncontrolled growths"
<Raven> Then you found the internet. And now you can't even spell cancer. Or tumors.
<fry> ...
<fry> :( |
|
Quote: 136517; Rating: 1454; [+|-]
|
<Booyaah> There's something making a noise outside my window
<Booyaah> Should I go check out what the heck is making that noise or just leave it alone?
<Booyaah> it's like a low sort of moaning
<Elzie_Ann> :/
<ViewtifulJosh> call the cops, heh
<Frozen-Solid> moaning?
<Booyaah> That's what I'd call it Frozen
<Elzie_Ann> So is this like a "People are having sex outside my window" type of moaning or a "there's an injured cat outside my window" type of moaning
<Frozen-Solid> could only be one thing... promiscuous sex... you could go out and watch if you want
<Booyaah> I'm gonna go with the injured cat thing
<ViewtifulJosh> haha
<Stormrider> It might be an injured cat having sex
<Booyaah> If people are having sex outside my window then it sounds like only one is doing a good job
<Frozen-Solid> hahaha
<Elzie_Ann> hahahaha
<Stormrider> That may be the greatest thing you've ever said, Booyaah
<Booyaah> It's getting louder :|
<Booyaah> ok, I'm gonna go check
<Booyaah> I don't really want to have things like that going on in my yard
<Elzie_Ann> Haha.
<Elzie_Ann> I don't have any other ideas
<Booyaah> I'm thinking there's a good chance it was a kitty
<Frozen-Solid> or carl's idea...
<Elzie_Ann> That's what I would think
<Elzie_Ann> Some kind of cat
<Booyaah> but my cat would notice...
<Booyaah> My cat = me
<Booyaah> It just lays around doing nothing
<Booyaah> you know if people were doing it outside my window
<Frozen-Solid> you'd have a camera Booyaah?
<Booyaah> Frozen, you're scaring me
<Booyaah> lol
<Frozen-Solid> heh
<Booyaah> I suppose I could've taped it though
<Elzie_Ann> haha
<Booyaah> lol
<Booyaah> it's starting up again
* Booyaah is away : Outside with flashlight
--- Booyaah is now known as Booyaah-away
** Time Passes **
<Booyaah> People in this town scare me.
<Elzie_Ann> Did you find out what it was, Booyaah?
<Booyaah> sure did
<Elzie_Ann> What was it
<Booyaah> some dude
<Elzie_Ann> o_O
<Frozen-Solid> 0_o
<Booyaah> me: "What the fuck are you doing man?" him: "...nothing" me: "you aren't playing with yourself out here are you?" him: "Maybe" me: "well...I really think you should do that in your own home, not my bushes ok" him: "ok" me: "get the fuck out of here" |
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Quote: 136522; Rating: 448; [+|-]
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<eViL_oNe> oh goodgod!@
<eViL_oNe> HELP ME
<@lucifer> sorry. not qualified. |
|
Quote: 136523; Rating: 172; [+|-]
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<fry> if there's one thing i really hate
<fry> ...it's animosity |
|
Quote: 136524; Rating: 10561; [+|-]
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<Raven> I tried setting my hotmail password to penis.
<Raven> It said my password wasn't long enough. :( |
|