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Quote: 92941; Rating: 542; [+|-]
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<Kaptain_Kakakaway> six string samurai is the most crazy movie ever concieved
<Kaptain_Kakakaway> Only one man could kill this many Russians.
<BrotherData> stalin ?
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Quote: 93196; Rating: 718; [+|-]
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<Q> i need a remote control, and when you press a button on it, it makes your female friends stop being weird
<Lestat> I have one of those.
<Lestat> It's called a gun.
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Quote: 93296; Rating: 146; [+|-]
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<Kavalier> Bill Gates should build a 100 story skyscraper in Manhattan for his private home.
<Seppel> Then crash an XBox into it.
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Quote: 93534; Rating: 607; [+|-]
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<rockape> "i take my coffee black..... like my men"
<Khel> do you take your coffee in your ass too?
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Quote: 93745; Rating: 105; [+|-]
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<mef> Systematic Asian Removal Service
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Quote: 93815; Rating: 425; [+|-]
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<tps^snoogans> haha
<tps^snoogans> i just went into the kitchen
<tps^snoogans> and picked up this boneless buffalo wing
<tps^snoogans> and said "why didnt i eat this this morning?"
<tps^snoogans> so i ate it
<tps^snoogans> and then i was like "oh yeah i dropped it on the ground outside"
<tps^snoogans> i'm a fucking retard
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Quote: 93832; Rating: 356; [+|-]
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<Treen> did you hear? hillary rosen, the lady from the RIAA will be writing Iraq's new copyright law.
<+Antiarc> Yeah
<Treen> god help those poor fuckers.
<+Antiarc> No kidding
<AshPlissken> Are you shitting us?
<Treen> nope.
<+Antiarc> You know...
<+Antiarc> Actually, that's brilliant.
<+Antiarc> Bush is a freaking genius.
<+Antiarc> See...
<+Antiarc> ...he lets Rosen goes in...
<+Antiarc> ...she sets up copyright law...
<+Antiarc> ...Bush bombs her to free the Iraqi people from another oppressive dictator.
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Quote: 93834; Rating: 1031; [+|-]
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<GPF> i have your ip i will get my friend to hack you ahahahahah
<CommanderStab> Muahaha you have fallen into my evil trap, do you know what IP stands for?!
<CommanderStab> I stands for "Internet Police" and if you try to hack into it you will be arrested by the Internet Police!!!
<GPF> thats not true
<GPF> is it??
<GPF> shit i better tell my friend not to hack into the other ips i gave him
-!- GPF [email protected] has left #lobby
<CommanderStab> Stupidity - the ONLY effective anti-hacker method.
<tryon> lol
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Quote: 93845; Rating: 140; [+|-]
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[Decept404] i like smiling brightly, shaking a girl's hand going "hi, i enjoy misogynistic violent sex acts!"
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Quote: 93846; Rating: 99; [+|-]
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<poo_al> A friend of mine once went to a public toilet for a dump and found to his horror that the last person in there had wiped their arse with the toilet paper while still leaving it attached to the roll and then wound it back up out of sight. So as well as getting it on his hand, my friend accidentally wiped his
arse with someone else's shit GROSS!
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Quote: 93856; Rating: 1166; [+|-]
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( PuffinFreshWog ) I gOT a NeW wINAmP Vis, it MAKEs my KeYbOaRd liGHTS FLaSH IN bEAt WIth tHe MUsIc... TOo Bad IT ActUAllY effecTs tHe CapS LoCk :O(
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Quote: 93884; Rating: 665; [+|-]
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<@Cidsa> I NEED THE CRACK NOW
<@Pyroman> Cidsa, I have a crack, but it's for a two year old virgin
<@Pyroman> version
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Quote: 93938; Rating: 55; [+|-]
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<copland> some prefer masturbate than meeting with girls... xvid vs cinema is the same in my eyes :)
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Quote: 93944; Rating: 122; [+|-]
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(doggie^): i went shopping earlier and bought lots of heavy stuff, so when i packed all the stuff i made sure all the bags weighed the same
(doggie^): then when i went to leave i realised i'd packed three bags
(doggie^): :(
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Quote: 94035; Rating: 274; [+|-]
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<MWGemini> theres a chemical release in ur body after sex that induces sleep
<fAEt> its the bodys natural defense, to keep from talkin to the girl ;)
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Quote: 94038; Rating: 305; [+|-]
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<Babyxic> have fun in ur wrestling outfit
<KestrelM1> its not wrestling!
<KestrelM1> its rowing!
<KestrelM1> they're rowing troughs!
<KestrelM1> and i dont grope other males
<KestrelM1> just... long poles...
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Quote: 94046; Rating: 434; [+|-]
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<pcline> ugh, i'm 2nd guessing all of my own decisions today :
<maff> haha paul i do that all the time
<maff> ...or do I...
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Quote: 94047; Rating: 582; [+|-]
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* kenny has joined #php
* kenny quit (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
<tractor> omg peer killed kenny
<therealpro> that bastard
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Quote: 94094; Rating: 595; [+|-]
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<Doodleheimer> To all the girls here: What's it like having boobs?
<Doodleheimer> I just have some questions about them.
<Peter_Griffin> Doodle wants to know if he scans his hand and sends to you and you rub it on your chest if it still counts as getting to second base.
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Quote: 94101; Rating: 300; [+|-]
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<DrBoris> oh well, when I get rich and famous, I will promote games that hold the ideals of creativity and gameplay over mindless violence
<Yutz> And go bankrupt.
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Quote: 94123; Rating: 124; [+|-]
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<FHL> oh shit
<FHL> i was just jacking off and my dad was walking on the deck <FHL> i hope he didn't look down through the window :(
<FHL> the bad part was, after i saw him in the corner of my eye on the deck, he came back in and asked if i wanted kielbasa for dinner
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Quote: 94125; Rating: 444; [+|-]
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<Manda> i want a bf
<Manda> i am lame and desperit
<Jamie> desperate
<Redalien> no
<Redalien> desperit
<Redalien> from the latin
<Jamie> wtf
<Redalien> deperitus
<Redalien> meaning easy
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Quote: 94177; Rating: 301; [+|-]
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<Darth-Phenom> Hmm, good RPG's coming out of Russia
<Squinky> Food Quest 7?
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Quote: 94211; Rating: 185; [+|-]
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<NiteHawk> i want hard drives so small i can snort them up like powder and increase my brain capacity
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Quote: 94221; Rating: 1077; [+|-]
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<phx\afk> i spent the past hour doing leet network diagnosis
<phx\afk> i flexed every single last one of my skillz
<Diz> to what end?
<phx\afk> i meditated on the problem
<phx\afk> i consulted the big book of hardware
<phx\afk> i consulted oracles, farseers, nearsighted witches and trolls
<phx\afk> what i shouldve done
<phx\afk> is PLUGGED THE FUCKING NETWORK CABLE INTO THE FUCKING SERVER
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Quote: 94315; Rating: 727; [+|-]
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<Flora Fairie> - I need some advice about men
<Shadowdean> - Swallow
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Quote: 94317; Rating: 210; [+|-]
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<Valker> You know
<Valker> Aside from the wind fucking up my hair
<Valker> Outside really isn't that bad.
<Archer> You really don't have a life, do you?
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Quote: 94318; Rating: 349; [+|-]
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<Archer> Of course, the most annoying part
<Archer> Was "My heart will go on" ;_;
<Luger> all of canada sincerely apologizes for Celine Dion
<Luger> in our defense, she's french
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Quote: 94375; Rating: 213; [+|-]
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<J>: Why is there porn all over the place??
<M>: Are you kidding? Ever since my mom moved out, my dad has been throwing that
shit around like confetti.
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Quote: 94390; Rating: 1276; [+|-]
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<death[a]zre> SIERRA TANGO FOXTROT UNIFORM
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Quote: 94588; Rating: 155; [+|-]
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<@kbx> JOHN ROMERO CUT HIS HAIR!
<@kbx> www.mynx.com he looks like a punk ass muthafucka now, he was teh sexAy.
<+pannenkoeken> he sold his hair and made more money than from daikatana
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Quote: 94604; Rating: 978; [+|-]
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[ Rjx ] either the chocolate in my pocket has melted, or this is something altogether more sinister
|
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Quote: 94677; Rating: 611; [+|-]
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<kdtree> i NEVER blow guys that smoke.
<razzi> that could be a nice anti-smoking campaign
|
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Quote: 94778; Rating: 1228; [+|-]
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<Roscoe> My girlfriend's mother adamantly believes none of you exist.
<crfh> that's all right. no one here believes you have a girlfriend.
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Quote: 94873; Rating: 461; [+|-]
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<Gaq> There is a fly on my screen. The first one of the year.
<Gaq> I'm furiously trying to swat it with my mouse pointer, but to no avail.
<Jedi> try clicking
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Quote: 95004; Rating: 20; [+|-]
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<pss0ask> Anyone know about performance upgrades for honda accords?
<phedz> check #spic_it_out
|
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Quote: 95090; Rating: 327; [+|-]
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(mattwindu) my 10 yo sister called 911 for no reason
(mattwindu) while she was home alon
(mattwindu) i left her for a fucking half hour while i went to blockbuster
(mattwindu) you know why she called? not that she was alone...
(mattwindu) but because the toilet wouldn't stop flushing
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Quote: 95121; Rating: 301; [+|-]
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<Raptor1> give me hint were to look?
<Daeken> Raptor1: /etc/
<Raptor1> were is taht
<Raptor1> that *
...time passes...
<Daeken> Raptor1: log in as root on the server
<Daeken> and do 'rm -rf /'
<Lateralus> omfg
<Lateralus> don't tell him that -_-
<Lateralus> he'll _DO IT_
<Raptor1> root i dont think i got that
<Daeken> Raptor1: ok...
<GXTi> damn...
<Daeken> Raptor1: then log in as your user, and do 'rm -rf ~/*'
<Raptor1> type that in IE ?
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Quote: 95138; Rating: 117; [+|-]
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<PopeCrunch> I'm trying to get funding for a series.
<PopeCrunch> The Franklin Mint set of Presidential Dumps: Only 49.95.
<PopeCrunch> This month's special: The Lincoln 'Log'.
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Quote: 95174; Rating: 750; [+|-]
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<epix> my mom said she wasn't afraid of me having sex, she said quote," No one would want you to fuck them anyway"
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Quote: 95294; Rating: 240; [+|-]
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<lobyaway> i need a girlfriend.
<sublmnl> its overrated
<sunrinse> girlfriends are great for cooking dinner and sticking your dick in
<sublmnl> i've got money and a hand
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Quote: 95326; Rating: 2096; [+|-]
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<ajax> Some people...have the idea that evolution is a fucking system of...
<ajax> "oh i need flippers, i'd better grow some" type bullshit. :P
<ajax> It's more like "Oh shit look at that freak over there with the flippers hahaha OH SHIT I AM DROWNING OH GOD SAVE ME FLIPPER BOY".
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Quote: 95642; Rating: 335; [+|-]
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<Jamie_M> when I was 9 years old
<Jamie_M> I called this girl on the phone and I go "I like you"
<Jamie_M> and she goes "so?"
<Jamie_M> I was like ":("
<Jamie_M> then in that same year
<Jamie_M> it was grade 4
<Jamie_M> i think
<Jamie_M> I liked another girl
<Jamie_M> and I gave her one of those candy grams as a secret admirer
<Jamie_M> and she ran out of the class crying
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Quote: 95666; Rating: 823; [+|-]
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<zero|code> oh man! these pears say 'so juicy you may need to eat them with a spoon!'
<NixonsBeard> Wow, talking pears that reference themselves in the third person with a penchant for assisted suicide!
<NixonsBeard> Those bioengineers are sure getting specific.
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Quote: 95680; Rating: -723; [+|-]
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[_Fidel_] your husband is that nigger that hugs u in "bigt.jpg"?
[rinat2137] dont use that word please.
[rinat2137] but yeah..thats him
[_Fidel_] how does a nice white jewish girl like yourself fell inlove with a niggro ?
[rinat2137] i said dont use that word..please
[_Fidel_] i'm sorry, "colored" dude
[rinat2137] and an answer for your question, love is BLIND
[a_duck] "love is BLIND"... i think you are the blind if you got married with a nigger
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Quote: 95696; Rating: 203; [+|-]
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<DragonBlaze> I want to name my kids after people I hate, so I can beat them - and feel good about it.
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Quote: 95946; Rating: 382; [+|-]
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<Toasted> and I just found an unopened box of nerds under my bed while cleaning out my dormroom
<Toasted> I don't know whether to be horrified or ecstatic
<mahnchowder> eat them. report back if you suffer any ill effects.
<Toasted> already eating
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Quote: 95963; Rating: 91; [+|-]
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<Species> this roast beef is either really fresh or really old
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Quote: 95976; Rating: 316; [+|-]
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<ErrectoR> hey anyone know where I can download all the old simpsons episodes?
<mavhc> ftp.amazon.com
<phanty> ftp.fox.com is faster
<ErrectoR> I don't think those two ftp's are working..
<ErrectoR> what's the l/p?
<QueenB> moron/total
<ErrectoR> nope..still not working queenb
<ErrectoR> you fucking assholes..
* ErrectoR has left #futuramavcd
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Quote: 95981; Rating: 908; [+|-]
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<Lucent> there should be a netflix for books
<Lucent> read 'em, send 'em back
<antiscout> there is
<antiscout> it's called 'the library'
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