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Quote: 70473; Rating: 312; [+|-]
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<jay> when i get married im gonna buy my wife a BMW 318, because they are really safe and yet sluggish enough for her not to cause any trouble
<adam> yeah? when i get married, im gonna take out a big life insurance policy on my wife and buy her a Hyundai Excel
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Quote: 70491; Rating: 1814; [+|-]
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<ShoveX> beerman would you have gay sex for 2 million dollars?
<@Beerman> with who
<@Beerman> and do I have to pay all at once
<@Beerman> or can I pay in instalments
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Quote: 70505; Rating: 387; [+|-]
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<s0ul> all i know is, i know where the chloroform is in the lab now..... i'll have a date one way or the other for Valentine's Day
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Quote: 70529; Rating: -41; [+|-]
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<whit> regardless that i like my womens to have badonkadonk asses
<whit> and drink 40s before i slam my big meat pole up there
<whit> nothing like the feeling that you are fucking one of those Big Arbys roast beef sandwiches with extra sauce.
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Quote: 70543; Rating: 124; [+|-]
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<mspencer> but when people say it's impossible to travel faster than light, they're probably right. Some extremely interesting and surprising things would have to happen before that could be wrong.
<Wataru> mspencer: like my getting laid?
<Biggy> EXACTALY
<Biggy> IMPROBABLE, BUT NOT IMPOSSIBLE. JUST VERY CLOSE.
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Quote: 70544; Rating: 330; [+|-]
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<Z> Swear to god..
<Z> These guinea pigs are like
<Z> Not even 6 months old
<Z> AND THEY LOST THEIR VIRGINITY LIKE 10000000000000000000000000 TIMES
<Z> ><;
<Incorrect> lol
<Incorrect> hjahahahahah
<Z> Now they're pissing me off..
<Z> I can't get one simple pussy
<Z> And they're hitting them like a batting cage
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Quote: 70545; Rating: 109; [+|-]
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<freek> hey man, when i go to buy condoms, i'll be standing tall. "TONIGHT.. I AM GETTING SOME."
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Quote: 70559; Rating: 126; [+|-]
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<Spike> I had a cook at my job ask if I wanted to go out for a beer and a bong hit today.
<Spike> I should have known to just say no when a 40 year old man who was in jail for a year says to me (age 19) "Hey, what are you doing tonight?"
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Quote: 70562; Rating: 773; [+|-]
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<CaffieneHead> We have enough youth. What we need is a fountain of smart.
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Quote: 70565; Rating: 682; [+|-]
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<wig> Seriously... .45k/sec it is a joke.. I could have just gone out and taken my own photos of children in this time
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Quote: 70567; Rating: 151; [+|-]
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<Arch1942> oh my god i love this WC3 mod
<dj> whats it like?
<Arch1942> 4 races that have 3 abilities each
<Arch1942> orcs, humans, night elves, and undead.
<Arch1942> Very Cool.
<dj> cool
<dj> whats the differences between the races?
<Hamster-AFK> dj - Well, white people can't jump for one thing
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Quote: 70608; Rating: 129; [+|-]
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<MegamanX2K> Heh, I wonder what my mom'll think when she sees my Dune 2000 T Shirt.
<MegamanX2K> "Long life the fighters? Arabs? WTF, my son's a terrorist!"
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Quote: 70667; Rating: 424; [+|-]
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<Zeal> Ignorance is bliss. :]
<devilsad> Ignorance is leaning out the car window at 100 miles per hour, feeling the wind in your hair... then hitting a pole.
<Brass> Ignorance is watching the instant replay, and hoping the guy makes the catch this time.
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Quote: 70681; Rating: 31; [+|-]
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*** Tartuf has joined channel #college
<Tartuf> hey
<xab> who in the hell is that?
<Tartuf> ...
<Tartuf> ur worse nightmare :p
<xab> mum?
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Quote: 70746; Rating: 347; [+|-]
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<timmo> i wonder if gay people are ever like
<timmo> "oh man that is so straight"
<timmo> or
<timmo> "youre so heterosexual"
<Livewire0> "Quit being such a hetero!"
<Livewireo> with the limp wrst flick, of course
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Quote: 70774; Rating: 44; [+|-]
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<[MAAO]ricequeen> HEY GUYS
<[MAAO]ricequeen> A GIRL WANTS TO CYBER WITH ME
<[MAAO]ricequeen> SHOULD IS AY YES
<[SA]Portable591> do it
<[SA]diekthx> IT"S A DUDE DUDE
<[SA]rizzou> WOOT PING HER ANUS
<[sa]unsound> what sort of fuqn question is that
<[sa]-piston> SHE HAS A PENIS
<[SA]TheFlyingTortillaMan> PIX PLZ
<[sa]-piston> SHE WAS BORN AND STILL IS A MAN
<[SA]eloH> traceroute ur sperm 2 her face
<[sa]unsound> of course the answer is LOL K, U GO FIST
<[SA]rizzou> fist? or first?
<[sa]unsound> fist
<[sa]-piston> FIST
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Quote: 71077; Rating: 244; [+|-]
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<Ifenna> In a CDROM drive on a PC, does the CD spin or the laser?
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Quote: 71086; Rating: -23; [+|-]
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<WhatUSee> does anybody know a decent format utility other than the windows default?
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Quote: 71089; Rating: 171; [+|-]
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<Rose> can someone explain to me why are the celeron 1ghz so much cheaper than the P42.2ghz?
<Rose> are they that much different?
<Rose> speed wise?
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Quote: 71091; Rating: 17; [+|-]
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<PD-FATAL> does windows update use java?
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Quote: 71108; Rating: 212; [+|-]
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<unclefu> why the hell is network browsing so slow with xp
<unclefu> ... perhaps it's cause the other computer is off...
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Quote: 71125; Rating: 503; [+|-]
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<+sic6sic> HOLY FUCK!
<+sic6sic> i just found a cd full of pr0n i forgot i had
<+sic6sic> }=]
* +sic6sic is gone (reason: uhhhhh...uhm.....sleeping? )
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Quote: 71139; Rating: 509; [+|-]
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<edeity> DDoS attack on a nightclub bar, get all your friends to keep asking for water.
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Quote: 71152; Rating: 209; [+|-]
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<Antimatter> for a moment I thought M$ was going into the arms contracting business there
<Antimatter> oh, wait. they are, aren't they
<Antimatter> battleships running Windows... *shudder*
<NightmareBlade> o-O
<Antimatter> yes, they're pushing to get windows used in control systems for ships & stuff
<Antimatter> gives a new dimension to "blue screen of death"
<Antimatter> "Uh-oh, the fire control computer got infected with a virus"
<NightmareBlade> ***WARNING*** U.S.S New Jersey could not load targetting codes. Please insert your Windows 98 SE cd into b:
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Quote: 71162; Rating: 829; [+|-]
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<pHluid> GF the other day said something about me not washing my hands after I take a piss
<pHluid> "First of all, I don't piss on my hands. Secondly, you put the damn thing IN YOUR MOUTH, I think I'll be allright to touch it every now and then."
<pHluid> That shut her up.
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Quote: 71167; Rating: 739; [+|-]
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<mattttttt> shut up
<mattttttt> all of you
<cat9> fuck off
<mattttttt> shut the fuck up and stop filling up my logs
<cat9> if you want silence, go and idle in notepad
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Quote: 71176; Rating: 673; [+|-]
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<@ANARCHEY> LOL [email protected] intentionally sent me a few mails with a virus in it.. luckily my Norton picked it up... now i was gonna subscribe his e-mail address with some gay porn sites... first site i tried he was already subscribed to :P
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Quote: 71181; Rating: 255; [+|-]
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(@f00kaG0at) im still trying to figure out how to get to minesweeper
(@f00kaG0at) in xp
(@Yemen) :D
(@f00kaG0at) goddamn new start menu
(@Yemen) yeh
(@Yemen) it confused me for a couple of days too
(@f00kaG0at) ive had it 5 months
(@Yemen) oh
(@Yemen) ^_^
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Quote: 71204; Rating: 435; [+|-]
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<Lady> wat does your nick mean or stand for
<Gandalf> you serious?
<Lady> wat i say
<Gandalf> I just can't believe that you don't know where Gandalf comes from
<Lady> sorry i'm way behind you lovey
<Gandalf> it's ok.. do you watch porn?
<Lady> not that much
<Gandalf> oh ok.. it's the name of a porn star
<-- Lady has quit (Quit: Leaving)
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Quote: 71216; Rating: 655; [+|-]
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<julia> my inglish is pore
<Nurgle> engrish
<julia> ja! my engrish is pore
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Quote: 71241; Rating: 157; [+|-]
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*** kkkkkk was kicked by Rimbaud (Two kkk's doesn't make a black panther)
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Quote: 71254; Rating: 669; [+|-]
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<Cypher_Dyne> I feel like ipizza tonight.
<Nakoo> Ipizza?
<[Smoke]> That's the pizza for Mac users
<[Smoke]> iPizza
<[Smoke]> It's semi-transparent and comes in at least 5 colors
<[Smoke]> Also, iPizza is in no way compatible with your current pizza cutting tools
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Quote: 71269; Rating: 253; [+|-]
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<@red_solar> ircN[moo]/boxstats: [uptime: 2w 23h 36m 42s record: 2w 23h 38m 43s]
<@shawn> 12:41AM up 33 days, 5:21, 1 user, load averages: 0.01, 0.00, 0.00
<@red_solar> Uptime for redsolar-unix.mchsi.com (OpenBSD 3.2): 5:38PM up 26 days, 22:55, 0 users, load averages: 1.07, 1.09, 1.08
<@SQFreak> uptime(win2k): win(1d 22h 53m 17s) serv(21m 14s) today(4h 45m 6s) xirc(30m 1s) best(1d 22h 53m 4s)
< m0use> i think my workstation is up 47 now
<+[nobong]> Linux nebula 2.4.18-14 #1 Wed Sep 4 13:35:50 EDT 2002 i686 i686 i386 GNU/Linux
<+[nobong]> 6:13pm up 33 days, 20:07, 1 user, load average: 0.00, 0.00, 0.00
<@shawn> darn [nobong], beat me :P
<@Tecky> stupid fucks ... stop with the my dick is bigger cuz i got a longer uptime bs
<@Tecky> =-]
< m0use> its not about size.. its about how long you keep it up
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Quote: 71349; Rating: 354; [+|-]
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<@Dave> a hooker that doesn't charge upfront is known as "a girlfriend"
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Quote: 71385; Rating: 341; [+|-]
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+|+ [PIT]Kabar has joined #linux
< [PIT]Kabar> ok i got a dumb question
< [PIT]Kabar> <-- linux newb
(+soroh6) well
(+soroh6) we don't allow dumb questions
(+soroh6) sorry.
< [PIT]Kabar> bah usless
< [PIT]Kabar> some great community
+|+ [PIT]Kabar has left #linux []
(+soroh6) HAHAHA
(+soroh6) omg
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Quote: 71406; Rating: 190; [+|-]
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Dutchman: I admit ignorance, I have no idea what a Dirty Sanchez is but thats the name of my fantasy football league
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Quote: 71433; Rating: 407; [+|-]
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<hans> Impersonating another individual on the Internet is not only against our rules but it is also against the law. It constitutes and falls under Identity Theft and/or Fraud. Furthermore there are other laws specifically regarding impersonation on the Internet that also apply to it.
<hans> 0_o
*** hans is now known as Tiger_Woods
<Tiger_Woods> someone want to play golf?
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Quote: 71434; Rating: 559; [+|-]
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*** anonimis has joined #kdl
<anonimis> join #5fm
<orbit> erm...
<orbit> what?
*** anonimis was kicked by orbit (dont advertise in here)
<Quench> lol
<Quench> he missed the /
<Quench> you moron
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Quote: 71435; Rating: 230; [+|-]
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<Slyder> I think i found what i am going to buy
<Slyder> http://www.futureshop.ca/catalog/proddetail.asp?sku_id=0665000FS10006972&
catid=10220&logon=&langid=EN&dept=1&WLBS=fsweb6&MSCSProfile=04F5E73718534B93F3C511
B6289DBD5550C54405B2BE30A52CB53ABFF8716E7FE52D9C5C57B21A5894C6A6E05467561C22530DBF
981DF35CB5F364A5C835B6B7135EA94E78B9705B401CC5D977D837F3C134AC33E90B98115492CDA152
3C33E076FB2030322CB217386F89CB622647687BDD9F8FE7C5E5FF
<Slyder> thoughts?
<Hadaken> Get a shorter URL
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Quote: 71436; Rating: 213; [+|-]
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<1stStrike> is everything in britian closed on a saturday or something?
<Jericho24.> at 6pm, yes
<1stStrike> well it's only 1 pm
<Jericho24.> as u just said urself... B R I T A I N
<1stStrike> oh wait
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Quote: 71437; Rating: 118; [+|-]
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<jcarle> We don't have SATs in canada.
<jcarle> All our words stop at 6 letters.
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Quote: 71440; Rating: 148; [+|-]
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(@CadWork) for a long time listening to snoop dogg when I was young I was like, wtf is that
(@CadWork) now when I hear them say words I don't know the meaning off, I just assume it's drugs
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Quote: 71441; Rating: 113; [+|-]
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<Hiroe> I want to create a new doll toy for kids
<Hiroe> called "Jersey Baby"
<Hiroe> Idea being, it screams endlessly, until you wrap it in plastic to silence it and throw it away
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Quote: 71442; Rating: 2176; [+|-]
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<ihatestan> god I hate my little brother
<ihatestan> its my mothers birthday and I got her a Amethyst necklace
<ihatestan> than out of no where my brother goes "mom has +3 strengh"
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Quote: 71486; Rating: 179; [+|-]
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<@Guyver3> im going to go chug nyquil and call it a day
<Shanks> :(
<@Guyver3> sorry
<@Guyver3> i meant
<@Guyver3> im going to go chug nyquil and methadone and demerol and smoke pot, and call it a day since im so hardcore
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Quote: 71561; Rating: 224; [+|-]
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[hardlined] someone give me a phone number
(timmo) 867-5309
[hardlined] area code?
(timmo) 801
[hardlined] whats the name "we" should as for
(timmo) jenny
[hardlined] ;-)
[hardlined] the subscriber u have dialed is not in service
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Quote: 71573; Rating: 435; [+|-]
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<saxxonpike> in the restroom in a walmart once, i shouted really loudly "DAMN THIS WATERS COLD" and i heard a plop in the next stall and he said "yeah, it's cold over here too"
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Quote: 71577; Rating: 100; [+|-]
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<Skate> I believe in god as much as I believe in a world without porn...
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Quote: 71590; Rating: 137; [+|-]
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<Nikita> we got like a foot of snow today
<Nikita> it sucked
--> stef ([email protected]) has joined #lameindustries
--- LameServ gives channel half-operator status to stef
<Nikita> i shoveled the driveway and the stairs
<Iced_Eyes> hehe
<Iced_Eyes> i only got about 4 and 1/2 inches
<stef> argh! stupid dialup
<Rav3n> i remeber the good old days
<Rav3n> when i used to say that
<Rav3n> heh
<Nikita> stupid dialupt or only 4.5 inches?
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Quote: 71626; Rating: 299; [+|-]
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<jas0n> man im a geek
<jas0n> im trying to find the RGB value of my hair
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