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Quote: 69216; Rating: 308; [+|-]
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<Sh0t> i have bumps among my pubes
<Dirge> Sh0t: those are testacles
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Quote: 69283; Rating: 616; [+|-]
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<IanJ> so I got on the elevator here to come up to my room and these girls were in there and they were like "You know, you live on our floor but we never get to see you!" and I'm like... "Duh... uhm... yeah... uhh.... well I don't know you guys..." and then there was an awkward silence. but when we got back to my
floor I pulled out my electric guitar and started wailing on it. and they accepted me. and I am now the king of earth.
<ElCarpeto> Ian masters tribal ethics.
<IanJ> the real ending to that little story is a lot more depressing.
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Quote: 69326; Rating: 611; [+|-]
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<Huge_Spatula> I wanted to submit a mistake from "The Man in the Iron Mask" to www.moviemistakes.com that said, "Watch the scenes that feature Leanardo Dicapprio carefully. He can't act."
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Quote: 69383; Rating: 465; [+|-]
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<bad_carpet> false alarm
<bad_carpet> My uncle wouldn't care if I was IRCing
<bad_carpet> I'm just embarrased.
<bad_carpet> to be found doing so
<bad_carpet> Imagine what they'd think if they knew a 25 year old man calling himself bad_carpet was talking to a 19 year old man calling himself, 'muffin'
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Quote: 69527; Rating: 763; [+|-]
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<novalis> How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
<novalis> Two. One to hold the giraffe, and another to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.
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Quote: 69531; Rating: 375; [+|-]
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<Focusyn> hmm there are chicks on my floor named Johnnie, Scott and Brett
<@SJr|Tecra> tell them that after the operations they are suppose to pick girls names.
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Quote: 69672; Rating: 269; [+|-]
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<PACHUKA> I'm exempt from draft
<PACHUKA> W00T
<TonyD> PACHUKA: cuz you're borderline retarded?
<PACHUKA> tonyd: no, because I'm unfing your mother, they don't take charity workers
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Quote: 69673; Rating: 623; [+|-]
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(doggie^): im addicted to internet shopping or something
(slippy): me too
(slippy): i bought 5 internets the other day
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Quote: 69685; Rating: 417; [+|-]
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<+AnimeFreak> X-Bahamut, did i have a fag count of 31?
<+AnimeFreak> err
<+AnimeFreak> frag
<@Tenchi> I'm sure your fag count is much higher.
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Quote: 69709; Rating: 1; [+|-]
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*** Quits: Columbia (Connection reset by atmosphere)
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Quote: 69713; Rating: -168; [+|-]
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<_mrT> hahah mate said baout the quote:
<_mrT> "how can it go -5? there arent any niggers mentioned.."
<doggie^> hah
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Quote: 69724; Rating: 75; [+|-]
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<crunchyfish> The space shuttle Columbia walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, why do you look so down?" The shuttle says, "Oh, I just broke up with my crew."
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Quote: 69775; Rating: -19; [+|-]
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<GC> What does NASA stand for?
<GC> Need Another Seven Astronauts
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Quote: 69856; Rating: 353; [+|-]
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<meb> you never typo with dovakr
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Quote: 69861; Rating: 551; [+|-]
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<adm> i should run for office
<adm> and my slogan will be this
<adm> "I DON'T CARE AT ALL ABOUT ANY OF YOUR PROBLEMS! :D"
<adm> with the smiley and everything
<ryu829> hey i cant log in through mirc
<adm> I DON'T CARE! :D
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Quote: 69868; Rating: 915; [+|-]
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<Kitsa> heh, you want to see something funny, closed-caption the news.
<Kitsa> "twenty people were taken to the emergency room after touching debris"
<Kitsa> translates to
<Kitsa> "twently people were taken to emerge in see room after touching the brie."
<Kitsa> the deaf must think we're insane.
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Quote: 69872; Rating: 234; [+|-]
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CHz16: So, I was trying to figure out why I keep playing Super Monkey Ball 2.
CHz16: Was it the puzzles? The action? The vibrant landscapes?
CHz16: And then I realized, I didn't need an excuse.
CHz16: You don't need to rationalize making monkeys encased in clear, plastic balls fall off a level into a lake of fiery death.
mactigerz: rofl
CHz16: I just hope the ASPCA doesn't find out.
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Quote: 69878; Rating: 256; [+|-]
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<+Sketchee> I used to subscribe to this magazine: www.clubfreshmen.com/
<+TheWalls> im not clicking that link
<NSGuest-617> me neither
<+Sketchee> It's obviously college related.
<+Sumez> sounds like gay porn to me
<+Sumez> "fresh men"
<NSGuest-617> knowing sketchee, it is
<+Sketchee> Damn you all.
<+Sketchee> Sad part is you're right.
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Quote: 69885; Rating: 14; [+|-]
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<Jihan_Xan> Or [P] in a dress, and his penis in my mouth. I am yelling "SUCK AMANDA, SUCK!" to him.
<Jihan_Xan> fuck
<Jihan_Xan> haha
<Jihan_Xan> I just dissed myself.
<[P]aradox> Yep, that you did.
<pumkin> lol Jihan!
<Jihan_Xan> I need to stop smoking crack.
<[P]aradox> The power of Christ compels you
<pumkin> I had to read that twice.
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Quote: 69893; Rating: 447; [+|-]
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<Reaper_of_Souls> at the risk of sounding unbelievably gay, lace underware has more crotch space than you'd think
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Quote: 69906; Rating: 195; [+|-]
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* PokeSmot pokes everyone to sleep
<+JohnTaSays> ur nick somehow makes me keep thinkin of smoke pot
<@Pyroman> ...
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Quote: 69943; Rating: 270; [+|-]
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<Y> I dl'ed the Tatu video
<Fuzen> No one is going to remember them in a month, I guarantee you.
<Y> that's because everyone who listens to them now except for myself did so because they saw them make out in the video first
<Fuzen> Correct.
<Fuzen> That's the entire reason that they're popular.
<Fuzen> They make out in their video.
<Fuzen> I would advise them to continue this trend, but increase in gratuity each video. At that rate, they'll be fucking donkeys by their next album.
<Y> next video, "All the things she said club remix"
<Y> they take their clothes off and snowball in the rain
<Y> they get hardcore gangbanged in the video after that
<Fuzen> Then it's on to bukkake.
<Y> it'll be snuff porn by track 10, and there goes their careers
<Fuzen> I look forward to that day.
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Quote: 69965; Rating: 1283; |
<Spike> Spam email title: "Did you get your dsjtlkasjt today?"
<Spike> Why no, no I did not.
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Quote: 70014; Rating: 515; [+|-]
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<Burned> Its stuff like the Columbia shuttle disaster that really brings you down to earth
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Quote: 70054; Rating: 275; [+|-]
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(@tgitm): I still think its funny when girls say "size doesn't matter"
(@tgitm): if that's the case, why are dildos never small but beautiful?
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Quote: 70169; Rating: 395; [+|-]
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<ripper> I told u I was hardcore
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Quote: 70206; Rating: 1186; [+|-]
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<just4helpin> How did you guys get your ideas for user names?
<synth> i dunno
<Wrench> im a tool
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Quote: 70207; Rating: -92; [+|-]
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<fnad> damn look at those spaceship quotes plummet on the QDB!
<grongy> SHIT!
<grongy> at this rate I'll never be able to find good nigger quotes again
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Quote: 70279; Rating: 159; [+|-]
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<pb2k> im gonna rename man on unix to woman ... cause they think they know everything anyhoo
<Morpheus> and if you tell some-one to "grep their man for 'release'" non-technical people might look at you funny
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Quote: 70281; Rating: 261; [+|-]
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(markut) that this was a bicycly accident
(@El-Ztevo) bicycly? does that mean it kinda involved bicycles?
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Quote: 70288; Rating: 183; [+|-]
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<@LinuxGrrl> 'president bush, your popcorn burned. we have the fbi investigating the terrorist attack on your evening snack.'
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Quote: 70290; Rating: 115; [+|-]
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<nullstar> i'm not criticizing, either.
<nullstar> well, i guess i am, but it's intended in a constructive manner
<nullstar> which is the good cholesterol of criticism. :)
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Quote: 70293; Rating: 11; [+|-]
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<@DataBrokers> Wow I just some more skiers in Canada were caught up in another avalanche right near where those fellows died in one just last month.
<@DataBrokers> Those folks need to pay attention more it seems to me.
<crrj> Yes, teenagers, age 13-15 or so
<netnomad> It happened the day of the NASA barbeque.
<netnomad> They're just reporting it now, cuz the AP wire isn't as congested.
<@DataBrokers> OH, that's cold
<netnomad> No, actually it was kinda hot.
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Quote: 70296; Rating: 211; [+|-]
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--> Sunny ([email protected]) has joined #gtk+
<Sunny> hello every one
<Sunny> can anyone tell me waht to choose QT or GTK+
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Quote: 70300; Rating: 52; [+|-]
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<bigcalm> are anal probes fun?
<Tesko> only if they are generious with the lube
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Quote: 70301; Rating: 156; [+|-]
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<Drac|working> cool pizza,beer and my computer......this is the life
<Seth> Drac|working: that is the life of one who doesn't have a life ;)
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Quote: 70303; Rating: 119; [+|-]
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(slippy): it's appauling
(slippy): :/
(doggie^): like your spelling..
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Quote: 70305; Rating: 135; [+|-]
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<Raspberry> I'm a "Businessman" i work for myself -- I do not sit in my parents basement and drink mountain dew all day while beating off to Princess Leah during the Jabba the Hutt scenes -- so I really don't relate to most "linux geeks"
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Quote: 70307; Rating: 4; [+|-]
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<[Binary]> How do I block pornsites and stuff in Windows? My aunt just got a huge bill after her kids had been surfing.
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Quote: 70310; Rating: 74; [+|-]
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<@lemming> i had my box for a while, and had to have replacement HDs twice, since they kept getting errors on them... the second time they sent a different make, 60gig, instead of the 40gig i had before... and it's noisy as fuck :/
<@lemming> still, if i turn my death metal up load enough i can't hear it, and that allows me to have 20 gigs more death metal than i could have had before... ;)
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Quote: 70312; Rating: 1028; [+|-]
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<Rafa> A Pirate walks into a bar.
<Rafa>The bartender says "Hey youve got a steering wheel in your crotch."
<Malkatov> The pirate says "Arrrr its driving me nuts"
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Quote: 70314; Rating: 288; [+|-]
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<Mbwana> When i was 10 I was on a ferry and it was very windy out, so I decided to take an entire roll of toilet paper and see if I could let it all out into the wind and see if I could unroll the whole thing before it touched the water.
<Mbwana> It was quite amusing.
<Rialian> well? did you?
<Mbwana> Yes
<Rialian> hehehehe
<Mbwana> It looked very neat
<Qaulorn> you're easily amused too?
<Sealom> How far did it get before it hit the water?
<Mbwana> Of course I am, why do you think I'm on this channel?
<Qaulorn> how did it not tear? did you get the super absorbant quilted kind?
<Qaulorn> do you get the runs? share with us, we are here to help you
<Mbwana> Once I had the entire roll unraveled. I would estimate that it flew in the wind for about 1 1/2 minutes or so
<Qaulorn> was it patterned? or plain white?
<Mbwana> It plain
<Mbwana> Uh
<Mbwana> Minus the it
<Mbwana> People were awestruck at my amazing feat. People even videotaped it and took pictures of it.
<Sealom> I accuse you of lying.
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Quote: 70319; Rating: 130; [+|-]
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<Noplex> So Herne, what is your New years resolution?
<Herne> To stop talking to you?
<Noplex> You broke that already.
<Herne> Oops
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Quote: 70321; Rating: 257; [+|-]
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<slA>hmm, saw this on the QDB
<slA><MegaMechaMrEd> I saw a funeral hearse with "BBL" on the reg plate today. It was funny in a macabre sort of way.
<slA>There's a funeral company where I live, and one of their hearses' licence plates is "YUR NEXT"
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Quote: 70322; Rating: 167; [+|-]
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<Beanie> so what should I play?
<DarkMSTie> adventure games
==Beanie fires up Zork
<DarkMSTie> I need a graphical interface
<Beanie> graphical shmaphical
<Beanie> the graphics are in your BRAIN!!!
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Quote: 70324; Rating: -104; [+|-]
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<dirtyfrog> My life's ambition is to be quoted on bash.
<dirtyfrog> And that's the truth
<ap0c> That's really really sad.
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Quote: 70402; Rating: 477; [+|-]
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<SMW> god damn.. I realy dont photograph well
<Peter> Actually, you photograph very well. Unfortunately, that's how you look in real life.
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Quote: 70450; Rating: 409; [+|-]
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<Mayonaise> i wonder if the guy from police academy that makes noises can mimic a 56k modem handshake and complete a connection to a computer
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Quote: 70460; Rating: 272; [+|-]
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<nolamerbro> i m god in cs
<nolamerbro> my shots are perfectly timed and geometrically placed right into peoples skulls
<Jtal> thats a fancy way of saying "AIMBOT"...
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Quote: 70465; Rating: 157; [+|-]
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<Pieh0> whats wrong with handcuffs and a ball gag to make things fun
<[Clowneh]> nothing if u just got arrested....
<Pieh0> what??
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