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Quote: 72150; Rating: 504; [+|-]
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<+an_ass733> Hey guys I have someting interesing to tell
<+an_ass733> I went to a chinese restaurant for lunch today
<+an_ass733> The fortune cookie said "A successful life comes from a life of virtue and hard work."
<+an_ass733> On the back were the lottery numbers.
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Quote: 72159; Rating: 179; [+|-]
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* H0merTax ([email protected]) has joined
<H0merTax> hello, does anyone know what it means when it says "need correct key to join a channel"?
<@Opeeo> to fix it type /quit special key
*** H0merTax has left IRC (special key)
* H0merTax ([email protected]) has joined
<H0merTax> hey i tried that and it kicked me off? id really appriciater help
<@Opeeo> try /quit special key 2
<H0merTax> where dop i type ot in... the window that says where i connect?
<@Opeeo> yeah bro
<H0merTax> thanx
*** H0merTax has left IRC (special key 2)
* Opeeo sets mode: +b *!*@ool-4355ba4b.dyn.optonline.net
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Quote: 72160; Rating: 272; [+|-]
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<Smmenen> Rakso, as a law student, how can it possibly help you to be so exaggerating
<Tristal> Do you even know what lawyers DO?
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Quote: 72162; Rating: 176; [+|-]
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<@Jaxxin> your momma's so fat, I want to have sex with her and not tell anyone else :(
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Quote: 72175; Rating: 539; [+|-]
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<DCGrendel> i spent 8hrs today doing evil code to do evil things i dont really understand
<ragnarok2040> you work for microsoft?
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Quote: 72181; Rating: 780; [+|-]
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<Null> hittman
<Hittman> hi Null
<Null> you are a load that should have been swallowed ;/
<rb_> 20 bucks says he doesnt get it
<Null> i see your 20 and raise you 20
<Hittman> load
<Hittman> ?
<rb_> YES!!!
<rb_> I WIN
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Quote: 72189; Rating: 355; [+|-]
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<MogKnight> I need a button that makes me go forward in time
<@Ushi> They have that.
<@Ushi> It's called liqour.
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Quote: 72194; Rating: 1211; [+|-]
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<ZBZZN> BUKKAKE!
<ZBZZN> I yelled that in class
<ZBZZN> and ppl went like "WTF"
<Killrbyte> I once had a guy yell out "MORTAL KOMBAT!!!!!" in the middle of a test.
<Killrbyte> Then the guy next to him said "SHIT! I didn't think you'd actually do it!" as he whipped out a $20 bill and handed it over.
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Quote: 72206; Rating: 483; [+|-]
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<@pc|dogg> I'm using a file search engine, looking for the wonderful 6-movement "Dona Nobis Pacem" by Vaughan Williams. The only result it comes up with is (no joke)
<@pc|dogg> "Donald duck gets a blow job.wma"
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Quote: 72222; Rating: 290; [+|-]
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<Kythren> I think it would be hilarious if North Korea decided to launch a pre-emptive attack on the US while we're busy messing around with Iraq.
<Ryuujin> Kythren, NK has already warned they will
<Ryuujin> if the US doesn't stop shoving their troops into south korea
<Kythren> Coming soon from Jerry "I love explosions" Bruckheimer:
<Kythren> Pearl Harbor II : North Korea Strikes First!
<Ryuujin> Pearl Harbor III: We really should have seen it coming after the last two times
<Silence> If that wasn't so serious it might even be funny
<Kythren> Eh, I'll probably still be laughing about it when I'm being dragged up against the wall by their troops.
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Quote: 72225; Rating: 203; [+|-]
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<koitsu> you know you're doomed when a COMPUTER matches you up with a she-male.
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Quote: 72231; Rating: 650; [+|-]
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<Dayv> It's amazing how many interesting games come out of Germany that are actually written for adults with IQs above the subnormal range.
<DJTodd> How else are we supposed to train the master race?
<DJTodd> Uh... You didn't hear that.
<DJTodd> I know nothing! NOTHING!
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Quote: 72232; Rating: 762; [+|-]
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<Dayv> I tell you, nothing works up an appetite like committing serious tax fraud.
<Dayv> wrong window, ignore
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Quote: 72234; Rating: 486; [+|-]
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<fiveiron> you porn addicted freaks
<fiveiron> porn rots your mind
<la_haine> course it doesn't
<la_haine> you're thinking of TV
<fiveiron> no, i'm thinking of porn
<fiveiron> no wait...that didnt sound right...
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Quote: 72241; Rating: -10; [+|-]
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<_DeViL_kDs> me need help, how do me use flash????
<_DeViL_kDs> i have macromedia flash but cant find where to put the ftp details into it
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Quote: 72246; Rating: 308; [+|-]
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<AT-afk> fuckin dog just ate my mom's dentures
<AT-afk>whoa is she pissed ()
<AT-afk>i think so neway...kinda hard to understand her on the phone with them out
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Quote: 72251; Rating: 262; [+|-]
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(doggie^): i cant believe you're getting a new mobile number rather than do work
(doggie^): i applaud you
(slippy): lol
(slippy): it's not worth the money
(slippy): like that chap who had the WinME machine with the virus
(slippy): two days later he called again
(doggie^): rofl
(slippy): "i opened the virus email again and i'm infected again"
(slippy): <HangUp>
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Quote: 72262; Rating: 254; [+|-]
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<lildaemon> every girl i meet and talk to ..so far ..(about mental
disabilities).. like personality ones
<lildaemon> they all seem to have one
<lildaemon> my brief analysis concludes that all girls have issues because of me
<lildaemon> men*
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Quote: 72269; Rating: 450; [+|-]
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<Typhon> 1 4m @n 31337 H@X0r 4nd I OwNz0R 4t kW4k3 3 4REN@. Fe4r My m4d $K1llS, D0odZ
<xr> Typhon: you own at quake e arena ?
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Quote: 72270; Rating: 1236; [+|-]
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<@X-G> ownage is such a capitalistic term.
<@X-G> YOUR ASS WILL BE EVENLY DISTRIBUTED TO THE PEOPLE BASED ON NEED!!11~
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Quote: 72271; Rating: 5; [+|-]
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<WookieJHWH> tA-Kane to fixe IE on mac, add the line U$3R=1d10t in the default HTML file.
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Quote: 72317; Rating: 54; [+|-]
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<xenophile> ugh plane has a flat fire, we're going to be very very late
<@jwz> make sure they check the heat tiles too
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Quote: 72471; Rating: 92; [+|-]
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<b1u3> i know the movie was written by a guy who knew nothing about computers, who wanted to make a movie about computers
<b1u3> but it has its points
<daenonok> should have frat brothers over and watch hackers the movie, and every time they make shit up, you drink a shot
<daenonok> you'd be passed out in twenty mins
<b1u3> yea but they got that worldwide virus on one floppy disk, and it had a fucking sidekick virus to distract people
<b1u3> you got people these days like 'yo i just pulled these leet kiddie sploits together into one bad mutha, the fifth cd is half burned!'
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Quote: 72506; Rating: 8; [+|-]
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<thenanny> What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your TV floating across the room?
<thenanny> Drop it nigger!
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Quote: 72571; Rating: 773; [+|-]
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<Perrin> I really need a back neonazi techno
<Perrin> er
<ToasterThief> ...
<Perrin> -neonazi techno +massage
<Perrin> c&p is not my friend.
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Quote: 72614; Rating: 828; [+|-]
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<ex-machina> I had to change rooms at my hotel. You know you spend too long online when you laugh at the fact that you got moved from 1024 to 768.
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Quote: 72623; Rating: 738; [+|-]
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<palos> i loved electives cause there were actually girls in them, oh and they were really easy :)
<blindwork> the girls or the classes?
<palos> yes
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Quote: 72633; Rating: 404; [+|-]
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<Logic_BomB> oddest thing said to me all day, i tell a friend not to use plethora in his introduction cause its too wordy sound and he tells me:
<Logic_BomB> Don't make me open a plethora of cans all which contain some whup-ass
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Quote: 72635; Rating: 465; [+|-]
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<KiloStar> I could probably get away with making $usedesign = $sidebar for the moment
<KiloStar> heh
<ShyAway> $usedesign=false :O
<KiloStar> that would screw it up a bit
<KiloStar> unless I made it if (!$usedesign) $usedesign = "default"
<KiloStar> and then youd be pwned
<ShyAway> $usedesign="incorrectvalue"
<KiloStar> if (!file_exists("$pathtokajar$usedesign")) $usedesign = "default"
<KiloStar> mwahaha
<ShyAway> $usedesign=default
<DartHomework> wow, it's like the Dueling Banjos of nerds
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Quote: 72652; Rating: 251; [+|-]
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<@slippy> Interests: Computers: Cyberculture, Hobbies: Literature, Science:
Physics, Space: Star-Trek
<@slippy> doesn't bode well for her dress size
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Quote: 72657; Rating: 251; [+|-]
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<CapnHardcastle> do the ppl on bash.org randomly move from chat server to chat server taking ppl's comments out of context or do they sit on just one server?
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Quote: 72705; Rating: 464; [+|-]
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<railed> this channel is like an escher drawing
<railed> we're all condescending assholes, but nobody's at the bottom
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Quote: 72721; Rating: 425; [+|-]
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<Pyrate> I was downloading a hentai game, but it was slowing down my Harry Potter download, so I canceled it... I think I may be a little retarded
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Quote: 72749; Rating: -3; [+|-]
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<@niko> vox : i have inadvor zim for u when u want?
<@vox> is it on ur laptop?
<@niko> no, its in that media form call 'cd's
<@vox> bring d cds to me whenevr
<@vox> lik 2morrO
<@niko> k
<@vox> lt
<@vox> m 2 bz 2 typ all lttrz
<@vox> bz bz bz
<@vox> u r not imprtnt enuff 4 all lttrz
<@niko> ur a fag
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Quote: 72852; Rating: -9; [+|-]
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<WerdPerfect> whats up with indian people and java
<WerdPerfect> its like mexicans and yardwork
<WerdPerfect> wtf
<CrotchCapers> hHAHHWFRHAWH)R*@
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Quote: 72870; Rating: 322; [+|-]
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<[--S--]> we drove past your house last night owen
<an|man|ac> i thought they only took the garbage on fridays
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Quote: 72873; Rating: 341; [+|-]
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<Ludious> I think it's delightfully ironic that the aisle across from the valentines stuff at Walmart features family size bottles of vaseline.
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Quote: 72879; Rating: 109; [+|-]
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<willo> how the hell do you submit sites to google anymore
<ogw-iii> google for it
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Quote: 72891; Rating: 770; [+|-]
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<VodkaV> lol, french tanks have six gears, 5 reverse, and one forward in case they are ever attacked from behind
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Quote: 72894; Rating: 19; [+|-]
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<rastakid> Geez .. I really should stop with computers. I wrote a valentine card, and signed it with "H4ppy V4l3nt1n3" ..
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Quote: 72922; Rating: 335; [+|-]
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<myne> has anyone else seen the mpeg of tubgirl?
<myne> It is the closest I have ever come to throwing up on a screen
<myne> it is sooo much wronger than the jpeg
<myne> it was in my sisters inbox of all places
<@toe2toe> a) you dont have a sister
<@toe2toe> b) you ARE a sister
<@toe2toe> c) i hate you
<myne> I'll opt for C as it is the most correct answer
<@toe2toe> they werent options
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Quote: 72927; Rating: 624; [+|-]
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<Mullet_Man> its so retarded when people r trying to type lots of !!!'s
<Mullet_Man> there all like "yeah...im so cool!!1!~1`~!"
<Mullet_Man> i mean, is it really that damned hard to type "!!!!1"
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Quote: 72944; Rating: 1214; [+|-]
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<Mojokoko> phew... just jogged .6th of a mile
<@SJr> Mojokoko is that 1 and 2/3 miles?
<MarysKid> math not your major SJr?
<@SJr> actually it is :)
<MarysKid> LOL
<MarysKid> um... OK
<@SJr> that could mean 60% a mile, which would be wierd, or more accurately 1/.6
<@SJr> which works out to 5/3
<@SJr> since when someone says they jogged a 6th of a mile they jogged 1/6 miles, a 10th of a mile is 1/10 miles. So it strikes me that .6th of a mile is 1/.6
<Mojokoko> bah...
<Mojokoko> ill kick your mensa ass to alaska
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Quote: 72967; Rating: 338; [+|-]
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<Twingy> but I don't see the reason for sending so many troops over when they can do it autonomously
<DooD> because
<DooD> the troops are bored
<DooD> we gotta let them out to rape a third world country every once in a while
<Twingy> seriously, I'm beginning to think so
<skymoosUK> sick DooD
<DooD> i meant rape in a figurative drop-bombs-on-your-ass-and-piss-on-your-corpse sense.
<skymoosUK> oh, thats okay then, i thought you meant sexual and stuff
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Quote: 72991; Rating: 1438; [+|-]
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<fubar> We have a town called "Gay Head, MA"
<fubar> There's a town in Wisconsin named Spread Eagle
<fubar> There's a town in South Carolina named Sugar Tit
<Jagfire> I like gay head better
<fubar> I'm sure you do
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Quote: 72993; Rating: 3; [+|-]
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<ap0c> i'm building a computer out of the remnants of the Columbia.
<ap0c> it's gonna crash a lot
<ap0c> buh dum tssh
<xenu-> lmao
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Quote: 72995; Rating: 98; [+|-]
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<MrMaddog> Hairy men and eggs does not a porn make :P
<Rucas> You've never been to Germany, have you?
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Quote: 73010; Rating: -3; [+|-]
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<[J03Y]> What is the sound of one hand fapping?
<Crabster> bullshit. what is the sound of one man unfing?
<Genki--> there is no spoon
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Quote: 73018; Rating: 348; [+|-]
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<jerk> napster's death kinda ruined it for me. I don't trust any of the programs out there now...too much spyware
<bloke> ahhh
<jerk> backdoors bigger than a transvestite's
<bloke> theres an expression that u just don't hear enough
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Quote: 73019; Rating: 117; [+|-]
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<DJ-Pyro> damn you Rick|zzZZz...you better not be sleeping
*DJ-Pyro wants to go to bed
<Kel> you need Rick to tuck you in?
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