|
Quote: 66373; Rating: 251; [+|-]
|
<cranefist> i love it when cool bands cover madonna
<zed> So that way you don't have to admit that you like Madonna? |
|
Quote: 66405; Rating: 164; [+|-]
|
<NYCchica4EvA> cristal? like the champagne?
<sKratch> no like the meth |
|
Quote: 66440; Rating: 134; [+|-]
|
<Meyow> remember back in 1996
<Meyow> when you used to think about 2000
<Meyow> and get all these space suits
<Meyow> you know why its not like that
<Meyow> I blame IRC
<Meyow> :P
<Meyow> more chatting then thinking
<Meyow> like what 80% of the world uses IRC now
<Meyow> "you have joined #sony"
<Meyow> "so what should our next product be"
<Meyow> "how about space suitS?"
<Meyow> *u00a0 idiot has been kicked by boss (your fired) |
|
Quote: 66715; Rating: 445; [+|-]
|
<roboman20> +_&----~~=
<@MansoN> &----~~ looks like a handicap dude flying backwards while jizzing lol |
|
Quote: 66783; Rating: 391; [+|-]
|
<DesPlesda> Dammit, I got turned down for a blind date with the excuse "I think we should see other people".
<Hugh> Yikes.
<DesPlesda> Somehow she picked up on my geekness from just my voice. Scary.
<DesPlesda> Maybe I shoudln't have started with 5 minutes of heavy breathing. |
|
Quote: 66949; Rating: 41; [+|-]
|
systemtek: im just looking at my bids on ebay
systemtek: brb
gino220576: k
gino220576: what u bidding for
systemtek: a router
gino220576: for drilling holes ? |
|
Quote: 66959; Rating: 895; [+|-]
|
[Rictor] 1f j00 (4n 1234d 7|-|15, j00 n33d 70 937 |41d
[ArchDemon] *sob* so true. |
|
Quote: 67364; Rating: 1665; [+|-]
|
<|Asriel> How many Freudians does it take to change a light bulb?
<|Asriel> Two, one to change the bulb and the other to hold the penis
<|Asriel> I mean ladder! |
|
Quote: 67454; Rating: 585; [+|-]
|
<amiel> i got a new reality show
<amiel> a chick has unprotected sex with 10 or so guys while she's ovulating, 9 months later a camera crew goes and ruins each guys life
<amiel> we could call it remember me, or sexual roulette
<amiel> or find a bunch of people who are related and don't know it, hook them up, and expose their incest |
|
Quote: 67565; Rating: 563; [+|-]
|
<Aegis> You know what's REALLY freaky about the game Black & White?
<Aegis> When you're helping these guys in the beginning build their boat...
<Aegis> They want meat to eat along the way, right? No problem.
<Aegis> Well...when you give a sheep to them they're like "Oooh, a sheep. Sheep have many uses...thank you."
<Aegis> Makes me wonder... |
|
Quote: 67596; Rating: 209; [+|-]
|
|
<eddy> when the nurse was trying to guess how many units of alcohol I drank a week it was like playing higher or lower |
|
Quote: 67669; Rating: 1223; [+|-]
|
|
(@Noodles`) i got my cdkey from a ebay photo of somebody selling q3 |
|
Quote: 67711; Rating: 457; [+|-]
|
|
<danamania> pfft. exploding batteries. once again a PC manufacturer copies something apple was doing YEARS ago |
|
Quote: 67938; Rating: 789; [+|-]
|
<viro|work> i remember my birth
<viro|work> it sucked :(
<regener8ed> i remember your conception
<regener8ed> it rocked |
|
Quote: 68429; Rating: 480; [+|-]
|
<lude> Are they streaming the superbowl anywhere?
<@WinX> yes.
<@WinX> http://your-fucking-tv/ |
|
Quote: 68431; Rating: 173; [+|-]
|
<Sil> WHY CAN'T I BE DEPRESSED ON MY OWN?! Everyone else gets depressed and pissy when i'm down......grrr......
<Elfasi> The key to being depressed on your own, is to go away and be alone and not tell anyone about it :) |
|
Quote: 68444; Rating: 275; [+|-]
|
<Karate|Superbowl> i hate on football they always assume u know all the colors and which team name and team city they go with :|
<Karate|Superbowl> cuz for scores tehy just show like a pic and the number
<@Azhrarn> I hate on football how they always have like 10-15 minutes of crap in between all the good commercials |
|
Quote: 68451; Rating: 493; [+|-]
|
|
<CheeseSteakJim> i like porn because it doesnt laugh at my penis |
|
Quote: 68522; Rating: 317; [+|-]
|
Number 3 Rugger: bitch fuck 1080
onkeybutt87: is that a skateboard trick? |
|
Quote: 68533; Rating: 684; [+|-]
|
|
<AL9000> I'm gonna make my girlfriend a valentine with the goatse man on it, and it will have a caption that reads "I love you thiiisss much!" |
|
Quote: 68536; Rating: 457; [+|-]
|
<Raekwon> Matrix 2: "Hey Neo, let's go for a walk" **CRAZY MATRIX MUSIC** camera angles all over the place, approx time to walk one block 25 minutes
<BlurryMystr> haha, well yeah. It's the Matrix.
<BlurryMystr> Nothing ever happens plainly in the Matrix.
<Tituba> tying shoes
<Raekwon> just like The Bible
<Tituba> breathing
<Teegus> "Neo! walk the dog" *Kung foo dog shitting action*
<BlurryMystr> Neo: "Boy, this burger looks good."u00a0 *agents leap up, try to steal the burger, Neo has to fight them off while eating fries*
<Teegus> neo dodges fries leaving onion ring trails
<Tituba> after he finishes killing them all he mutters "now that's done my way" |
|
Quote: 68558; Rating: -29; [+|-]
|
<[Basil]Ruger> WHO IN THE FUCK USED MY CUM CLEAN UP RAG AS A GODDAMNED OIL RAG?
<[Basil]Ruger> FUCKING NASTY SHIT
<[Basil]Ruger> NOW I HAVE A NIGGER DICK
* [Basil]Ruger screams loudly |
|
Quote: 68573; Rating: 306; [+|-]
|
<[bM]DrFunk-404-> i talked for 4 hours, to my anti-drug girlfriend
<[bM]DrFunk-404-> stoned off my ass
<[bM]DrFunk-404-> she didnt suspect nothing
<[bM]DrFunk-404-> im like "everyone here is wasted and toasted"
<[bM]DrFunk-404-> she is like You arent i hope
<[bM]DrFunk-404-> im like Nope!
<[bM]DrFunk-404-> oh man, i should be an actor
<LoZel> no you shouldnt
<[bM]DrFunk-404-> yes
<LoZel> no dude you cant even make text beleivable |
|
Quote: 68574; Rating: 144; [+|-]
|
<bytraper> what network does kazaa run on?
<OpsuPup> the internet |
|
Quote: 68575; Rating: 198; [+|-]
|
|
<wip3out|isthekeymaster>fuck, i knew it... the one time I wanted pizza and it happens to be super bowl sunday, and now PapaJohns.com is getting DOSed by fat football fans. |
|
Quote: 68577; Rating: 52; [+|-]
|
( LiNKz )u00a0 I need to grab a good copy of Win2k server
( SpiritMaster )u00a0 my friend had it but during installation it scared him so he installed win me again |
|
Quote: 68581; Rating: 792; [+|-]
|
*** Rossy is now known as Rossy|Married
<Rossy|Married> ullo
<StoneColdSpider> u poor bastard Rossy
<Rossy|Married> thanx StoneColdSpider I still see you must be having a successful relationship with you PC
<StoneColdSpider> oh i am indeed we are expecing a palm pilot anyday now |
|
Quote: 68592; Rating: 253; [+|-]
|
<tinker> ok i can't do my man right... i try to man man and it don't work i mean i installed from rpm by tar -RPM package.bz2 can anyone help it just crashes and says stuff to me
<soroh6> haha
<Threed> for help on doing your man, try gaysRus.com
<soroh6> he can't do his man right |
|
Quote: 68607; Rating: 742; [+|-]
|
<boster> what is a good crapy digital camera
<ares> the oxymoron 500 |
|
Quote: 68621; Rating: 297; [+|-]
|
<Thermy> CE is both a pain and a pleasure to work with, like sex with a teenager
<tom> you can only make jokes about sex with teenagers if you arent fucking one i think
<Thermy> who made those rules?
<Hocho> jesus, lord of atlantis
<Eskimo> that guy owes me five bucks |
|
Quote: 68623; Rating: 548; [+|-]
|
<D3adlode> I was a mistake you jackass
<Quasar> We all got birth certificates, d3 got an apology letter from durex |
|
Quote: 68626; Rating: 121; [+|-]
|
<+MegamanX2K> They shoulda advertised UT03 at the super bowl
<@Tenchimaru_Draconis> heh
<+MegamanX2K> who needs Football when you have BOMBING RUN!
<+MegamanX2K> <Jerry_Rice> YOU BLEED BETTER THAN YOU PUNT!
<Tenchimaru_Draconis> heh
<MegamanX2K> with all the interceptions Tampa Bay made, John Madden shoulda yelled out "RrrrrrrrrrrrrRAMPAGE!" |
|
Quote: 68627; Rating: 38; [+|-]
|
<Way> its all the same to you tho
<Way> u just stick it in his ass anyways ..
<Way> boy or girl
<Hiro> true
<Hiro> but with girls you can go front then flip over and pretend its a boy
<Hiro> double the fun
<Hiro> and boys squirm too much
<Hiro> Imean I want a bit of a fight but not while IM concentrating |
|
Quote: 68630; Rating: 266; [+|-]
|
Kit-Fox> YAY! i found some food!
elroy{K}> yay! kill it! |
|
Quote: 68637; Rating: 162; [+|-]
|
<slinky> i ordered a pizza
<slinky> the pizza guy came and brought the pizza, he said: "there was no address, but i figured it was for you"
<slinky> maybe i order too regularly or something
<thokky> slinky heh
<_mrT> slinky i ordered pizza on the weekend
<thokky> sounds a bit like mrT
<_mrT> and pizza service boss himself dleivered it
<_mrT> and started smalltalk..
<_mrT> "you havent ordered in quite some time.."
<_mrT> me: "i was on holidays"
<_mrT> "oh where did you go to?"
<_mrT> etc for 5mins
<_mrT> i was like WTF heh
<thokky> _mrT you are the one what makes their business profitable
<thokky> heh
<slinky> good customer relations :)
<_mrT> hehe
<slinky> it's probably a cover for mafia to wash money
<thokky> "hey i heard mrT moved into city, theres market for pizza delivery place"
<slinky> so now you're friends with the Family :)
<thokky> yeah
<thokky> and they start to call you Nicky Foureye
<slinky> i think i definitely should not eat so much pizza
<thokky> or Fat-Tony
<slinky> haha
<slinky> Squeaky-Vinnie
<thokky> hehe yea |
|
Quote: 68653; Rating: -642; [+|-]
|
<chojin> i love reading the bottom quotes on bash.org
<chojin> they're so funny
<chojin> i mean, even niggers know they're funny
<djay_> !
<chojin> well, they would, if they could read the quotes
<chojin> dumb niggers |
|
Quote: 68695; Rating: 288; [+|-]
|
<Ig[AtWork]> For your pleasure...bad quotes:
<Ig[AtWork]> Hec-1: I got the japanese version of the bang bus
<Ig[AtWork]> Last_blade: lol
<Ig[AtWork]> Last_blade: I bet the japanese version of bang bus is called... "SUPER FUN RALLY BANG BUS GO GO GO!!! Make Happy strange girl!" |
|
Quote: 68714; Rating: 250; [+|-]
|
<deathscout> did she like its size?
<Medic911> not at first. It grew on her |
|
Quote: 68777; Rating: 410; [+|-]
|
<zamros> WHEN I SAW IT I WANTED TO SHIT MY PANTS
<zamros> THEN I REALIZED I WAS ON THE TOILET
<zamros> SO I JUST SHIT RIGHT THERE |
|
Quote: 68795; Rating: 178; [+|-]
|
<grem> i even told my engrish teacher my dog ate my homework so i was forced to gut it
<grem> but it was half digested so she owed me a dog |
|
Quote: 68806; Rating: 440; [+|-]
|
<ChompyGator> every time you tell a lie, it makes the baby Jesus cry..
<Flirbnic> But Jesus isn't a baby any more
<Flirbnic> He's a corpse
<Oberfeldwebel> OMG HE DIED?!?!?!!?
<Oberfeldwebel> My thoughts and prayors go out to the christ fammily. |
|
Quote: 68807; Rating: 221; [+|-]
|
<^catalyst> we're a bunch of geeks, we collectively know everything.
<WhiteyFord> yeah.. some of us even know how to get laid
<Redback> im sure a large majority know how WhiteyFord
<Redback> its just some strugle with the prerequsites |
|
Quote: 69212; Rating: 207; [+|-]
|
|
<MegaMechaMrEd> I saw a funeral hearse with "BBL" on the reg plate today. It was funny in a macabre sort of way. |
|
Quote: 69216; Rating: 327; [+|-]
|
<Sh0t> i have bumps among my pubes
<Dirge> Sh0t: those are testacles |
|
Quote: 69283; Rating: 648; [+|-]
|
<IanJ> so I got on the elevator here to come up to my room and these girls were in there and they were like "You know, you live on our floor but we never get to see you!" and I'm like... "Duh... uhm... yeah... uhh.... well I don't know you guys..." and then there was an awkward silence. but when we got back to my floor I pulled out my electric guitar and started wailing on it. and they accepted me. and I am now the king of earth.
<ElCarpeto> Ian masters tribal ethics.
<IanJ> the real ending to that little story is a lot more depressing. |
|
Quote: 69326; Rating: 642; [+|-]
|
|
<Huge_Spatula> I wanted to submit a mistake from "The Man in the Iron Mask" to www.moviemistakes.com that said, "Watch the scenes that feature Leanardo Dicapprio carefully. He can't act." |
|
Quote: 69383; Rating: 502; [+|-]
|
<bad_carpet> false alarm
<bad_carpet> My uncle wouldn't care if I was IRCing
<bad_carpet> I'm just embarrased.
<bad_carpet> to be found doing so
<bad_carpet> Imagine what they'd think if they knew a 25 year old man calling himself bad_carpet was talking to a 19 year old man calling himself, 'muffin' |
|
Quote: 69527; Rating: 787; [+|-]
|
<novalis> How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
<novalis> Two. One to hold the giraffe, and another to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools. |
|
Quote: 69531; Rating: 398; [+|-]
|
<Focusyn> hmm there are chicks on my floor named Johnnie, Scott and Brett
<@SJr|Tecra> tell them that after the operations they are suppose to pick girls names. |
|
Quote: 69672; Rating: 280; [+|-]
|
<PACHUKA> I'm exempt from draft
<PACHUKA> W00T
<TonyD> PACHUKA: cuz you're borderline retarded?
<PACHUKA> tonyd: no, because I'm unfing your mother, they don't take charity workers |
|