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Quote: 56509; Rating: 83; [+|-]
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<MMMaven> I can see the headlines now... "super-modified AIBO captures bin laden!"
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Quote: 56522; Rating: 240; [+|-]
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<HoaX|ZzZz> lol my mom is wrapping xmas presents listening to hard trance
<HoaX|ZzZz> i was like "mom wtf are you doing"
<checkered> hahaha too funny
<HoaX|ZzZz> she's like "it helps me zone out so i dont actually realize im wrapping presents, its like a drug"
<Scire> "hey mom, it's actually better ON drugs... want some?"
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Quote: 56523; Rating: 172; [+|-]
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<ZiR0> id jack off
<Dead_One> i would to, but that would make 15 times today
<Dead_One> oh, wait
<Dead_One> 01:34:56
<Dead_One> no, its a new day
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Quote: 56527; Rating: 748; [+|-]
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<StarThorn> Leave it to the computer programmers to shorten the "Year 2000 Millennium Bug" to "Y2K." Isn't that what caused this problem in the first place?
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Quote: 56528; Rating: 137; [+|-]
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<StarThorn> "What do you think about before you go to bed?" "Sex." "What do you think about when you wake up?" "Sex." "What're you thinking of right now?" "My dog Sparky" "Ok, You're sharing too much, now..."
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Quote: 56536; Rating: 371; [+|-]
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<Zak-> she's cute as
<Zak-> somebody find her for me
<Agrajag> are you crazy? i thought females were just things people made up on the internet
<Octane> There's only two types of females: *.jpgs and *.gifs.
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Quote: 56545; Rating: 437; [+|-]
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<krg> stupid fucking church people took all of our parking spaces
<Tragic> your parkinglot isn't private for employees and customers?
<krg> it is
<krg> they ignore the signs
<Tragic> "but this is a house of god!" "yeah well this is the parking lot of an evil IT company. fuck off."
<Tragic> "our dark lord detests the presence of your honda civic, you must be punished!"
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Quote: 56546; Rating: 200; [+|-]
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<@Daren> anyone wanna buy a second hand BMW?
<@Daren> it fell off the back of a ferry
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Quote: 56554; Rating: 1180; [+|-]
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<Asmodeus> I hav3 to g3t a n3w k3yboard off my par3nts, brb.
<Kur0Tenshi> Why?
<Asmodeus> Th3 k3y b3tw33n th3 W and R k3y is brok3n.
<Kur0Tenshi> What keys that?
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Quote: 56558; Rating: 1859; [+|-]
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<Pyroman> NEW RULE
<Pyroman> No one may have a name that starts with 'No'
<Pyroman> It fucks up my nick completion
*** Yukari is now known as NotYukari
*** GigaClonWantstoKickNickServ is now known as NotGigaron
*** NMR is now known as NotNMR
*** DJ_Bytes is now known as NotAlsoDJBY
<emphaticallyumopepisdn> You guys are sheep
<NotYukari> baa
<NotAlsoDJBY> Baaa
<NotGigaron> baaa
<NotNMR> baaaa
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Quote: 56562; Rating: 178; [+|-]
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<[BuD]> i think they should do a winona ryder game
<[BuD]> grand theft shopping
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Quote: 56600; Rating: 289; [+|-]
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<Dice> I've done it
<Dice> I've made a calculate
<Dice> calculater*
<Prothe|Studying> make a spell check now
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Quote: 56661; Rating: 582; [+|-]
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<Blizzard> Man, we have a female wrestler on our team
<Nucleotide> We care why?
<Blizzard> She's PREGNANT
<Sirdoudofapples> Hmmm...
<Sirdoudofapples> Seems like an inefficient way to move up in weight class...
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Quote: 56686; Rating: 9; [+|-]
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<Zombie11> <Rax_kun> cocaine was a medicine in the good ole days <- it still is :D
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Quote: 56689; Rating: 2890; [+|-]
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<danamania> yay I fixed my laptops battery!
<danamania> it was so dead, nothing would charge it
<danamania> so I gave it the electronic equivalent of a kick in the head, by shorting the +/- terminals for 5 minutes
<gelfie> don't they have stickers on them that say they could explode or catch fire by doing that?
<danamania> yeah but it's ok, I took them off first.
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Quote: 56702; Rating: 231; [+|-]
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<N[]vA> I threw a chiken nuget at a trafic cops while driving back home
<N[]vA> he was on his bonet talking on his cell phone
<N[]vA> fucker has no sence of humor
<N[]vA> 850
<N[]vA> agravating a police officer
<N[]vA> ROFL
<N[]vA> he had mayo on his hat tho
<N[]vA> WAHAHAHAH
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Quote: 56708; Rating: 545; [+|-]
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<Rountree> Wake. Birth. Grow. Pain. Move. Move. Move. Move. Move. Kid. Grow. Teen. Grow. Up. Fall. Up. Crush. Meet. Kiss. Date. Buy. Love. Sex. Ring. Join. Smile. Kids. School. Dance. Hug. Hold. Rift. Leave. Hate. Gone. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Life. Ha. Bang. Dead.
<+MegamanX2K> Shut.
<+MegamanX2K> The.
<+MegamanX2K> Fuck.
<+MegamanX2K> Up.
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Quote: 56712; Rating: 245; [+|-]
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<Avie> the only effect that videogames have had on my morals is deciding what weapon I would kill someone with if I did
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Quote: 56714; Rating: 111; [+|-]
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<Verlaine> That Walmart commercial where they say they are giving free shopping sprees to needy kids and the lady starts to cry at the end is making me nauseous.
<Verlaine> I need someone to share in my outrage.
<kalista> you could turn off the tv
<kalista> that way you never have to see that commercial again.
<Verlaine> But then I would never know what stores not to shop at.
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Quote: 56719; Rating: 78; [+|-]
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<blitzoid> My ma got me a copy of PC Gamer'
<blitzoid> I was like "Did you save the receipt?"
<Jarky> haha why?
<ChaosMage> Parents think gamers like those gay gaming mags
<ChaosMage> Makes you wonder who the hell reads 'em
<d0gZpAw> i used to like PC Gamer.. when i was on dialup.. because it was a pain in the ass downloading demos to see whether a full release is worth 2 days of leech
<blitzoid> "HOW TO MANIPULATE THE CAMERA TO LOOK AT LARA'S ASS! PLUS: OTHER DIGITAL BOOBS." - Sample from PC Gamer
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Quote: 56722; Rating: 283; [+|-]
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<Pepe> I need to know if college consists of a lot of fucking, or is that just in movies and is it like, masturbation all the time? This decides whether I buy fifty boxes of condoms, or fifty boxes of Kleenex.
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Quote: 56723; Rating: 200; [+|-]
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<_absent> Dilbert: why dont you tell everyone about the time you overdosed on shrooms, and the cops found you in a field covered in your own feces shaking a hand in the air and claiming the federal government was planning to take your life
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Quote: 56725; Rating: 321; [+|-]
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<Wegs> I can get my 2Kb/sec, so it must be working
<Gothmog> wow 2K a second!!!
<Gothmog> i got better than that on our old 33.6 :/
<Wegs> yeah...
<Wegs> I am connected at 26.4
<Wegs> so blow me
<Gothmog> lol
<Gothmog> at those speeds, i could start blowing you now and you wont feel it unil saturday :P
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Quote: 56730; Rating: 73; [+|-]
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<VonFluf08> crb - cheap digicam $500
<crb> Yeah, but id' want better
<VonFluf08> average digicam $800
<VonFluf08> good digi cam $2000
<VonFluf08> holiday porn - priceless
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Quote: 56734; Rating: 212; [+|-]
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<Kitsa> I had a frightening moment today
<Kitsa> I looked at a piece of sheet music and realized I couldn't tell what key it was in
<Kitsa> :/
<Kitsa> "This quality music degree from a prestigious university can be your child's for the low low price of $35,000"
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Quote: 56748; Rating: 164; [+|-]
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<TonicBH> [Tonic Hedgehog's mIRC Software] - [Windows XP Uptime: 2wks 1day 19hrs 43mins 24secs] - [mIRC v6.02 Uptime: 4days 11hrs 31mins 40secs]
<TonicBH> O_O
<TonicBH> 15 days ;/
<TonicBH> ph33r :/
<Sep> wtf
<Sep> turn your damn computer off
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Quote: 56749; Rating: 334; [+|-]
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Jersey Seven: 2DAY IS NATIONAL PRESENTS DAY!!~! SEND THIS MESSAGE TO 30 OTHER PPL AND YOU WILL RECIEVE MANY PRESENTS FOR XMAS AND UR TRUE LOVE WILL FINALLY START TO LIKE U!!!~
U ONLY HAVE 10 MINUTES SO U BETTER HURY!!!~
Chant320: Hey. Tomorrow is national shut the fuck up with the stupid chain letters day. It never hurts to get a head start.
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Quote: 56752; Rating: 243; [+|-]
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<DildoDaggins> isn't this a great hobbit porno name?
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Quote: 56757; Rating: 204; [+|-]
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-!- [lsd] has quit [Remote closed the connection]
-!- [lsd] has joined #lgl
<[lsd]> hehe
<[lsd]> i love it when you change the time on your box
<[lsd]> and xchat thinks "shit, i haven't seen a ping for 20 mins"
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Quote: 56758; Rating: 207; [+|-]
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<JMG> I went water skiing
<JMG> and It turns out that I scream the same way that i would if a great white shark were about to attack me
<JMG> If seaweed touches my foot
<JMG> Theres a moment I want back
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Quote: 56762; Rating: 302; [+|-]
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<CursedBurger> i hate it when i'm watching some good porn and the entire clip's ruined because one of the guys has a mullet
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Quote: 56767; Rating: 143; [+|-]
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<bob[notn00bsoft]> i can make better games then you. i just need help with the engine and graphics and stuff
<Sarthek> So you're better than us at making games...
<Tempyst> So in otherwords you need us to do everything for you, and then you take credit.
<Tempyst> THAT SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN, MISTAR
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Quote: 56773; Rating: 224; [+|-]
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<Kamz-History-X> where do bad folks go when they die?
<Lid> into politics.
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Quote: 56775; Rating: 204; [+|-]
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<GladX> do people still wear the farmer johns type ski pants?
<kickingdog> yeah...they sell those. north face has gore tex ones
* GladX hates those
<GladX> gotta fidget for 15 minutes just to take a piss
<kickingdog> north face ones are the shizzle fo sheezy
<GladX> babelfish is having troubles translating what you just said to english
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Quote: 56776; Rating: 140; [+|-]
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<pneumatic> i look out one window and it's sunny and nice.. the other windows.. grey, gloomy.
<autistk> other windows = windows 2000?
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Quote: 56778; Rating: 470; [+|-]
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<CrackyMcZap> I'm pathetic.
<Chriso> Cracky: I'm a 17 year old pimply FAT bastard living with his parents while in college who has no money, a 3.0 gpa which means it goes up .5 next semester or ELSE i lose my scholarships, i cant buy my own smokes, i cant legally look at porn, I cant drink cuz of my medicine, i have a university-issued
restraining order preventing me from entering the dorms at school, and to top it off, I'm bi but i dont like it up the ass. So yeah. Who's pathetic?
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Quote: 56782; Rating: 466; [+|-]
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<Hat> I'm the king of giving girls oral sex. Ask my girlfriends.
<Jeokitty> You're so good at all that, Mark, how good is she?
<Hat> She fucking sucks dick.
<Hat> Err
<Hat> I meant that in a bad way. Like, she sucks dick... poorly.
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Quote: 56784; Rating: 1508; [+|-]
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<Rigel> KingKashue ur pc is not as 1337 as my i have a 122 gighz pinteum 4 pc w/ 5 617 gigbyte hds and a cd-wr-rwr-drwxr-xr-x 3-way burning/dvd/vcd/mp3 playing drive and a 37 gigehurz L7 cacheeeee a 58 inch flat moniter w/ 2134x5654 resolushun and teh best part is my 400 gbps cabul capped to 1 kbps connecsion wich
routes thru severel dedicatud OC-255 powered masheens wich are on T460 redirectors
<KingKashue> riiiiight...But can your's do this?
*** Rigel was kicked by KingKashue (to prove I can)
*** Joins: Rigel
<Rigel> Nope.
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Quote: 56785; Rating: 523; [+|-]
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<Jeff> :-(
<Jeff> :-(
<Jeff> : (
<cabbage> your nose fell off
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Quote: 56790; Rating: 107; [+|-]
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<St_Zartan> all my scenes were deleted from "8 mile"
<St_Zartan> apparently training for the paralympics isn't "street" enough for them, the bastards
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Quote: 56798; Rating: 895; [+|-]
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(Anon) I want to be a concert promoter...
(Anon) and sign Dave Matthews Band, The Strokes, and Tool for the same show...
(Anon) and bill them in that order
(GiantRobot) yeah, because those three obviously have such similar fans...
(Anon) No no
(Anon) I just want the ticket stub
(Anon) Dave Matthews Band Strokes Tool
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Quote: 56800; Rating: 2; [+|-]
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* THEJRC checks out the softer side of sears.....
<Christina> lol you fag
|
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Quote: 56808; Rating: 123; [+|-]
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<SJr|Tecra> Someone say something to take my mind off the pain.
<wizer> just pleasure your self you will feel better
* wizer brb
<arrow|> probably going to take his own advice
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Quote: 56809; Rating: 197; [+|-]
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<Steempy> Merc: Got any amusing tales of retail stupidity?
<Mercster> hmmm.......this isn't a good email address:
<Mercster> "[email protected]"
<Steempy> Could be a Korean guy called Lu Bek Ing
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Quote: 56813; Rating: 153; [+|-]
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<ame> get on it
<ame> jungle bugie
<ame> dielsuo dielsuo
<ame> jungle boogie huhuhah wha hwo
<ame> (i used to be the lead singer for the local super market PA system)
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Quote: 56826; Rating: 107; [+|-]
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<Polaris> is my phone number on whois?
<Fina> Yes
<Fina> *picks up phone*
<Fina> *dials slowly*
<Polaris> I would know it was you.
<Polaris> Unfrotunently my caller ID is broken.
<Fina> ...my elves did their job well...
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Quote: 56828; Rating: 197; [+|-]
|
<Jarp> No porn break. i actually have no more porn on this computer
<Jarp> just the other day, i moved all 8,000ish pictures to the other computer and organized 'em
<Sisgmund> lordy!
<Sisgmund> how much space does that take up?
<Jarp> about 600mb
<Sisgmund> crimminy
<Jarp> i forget exactly how many
<shavenwookiee> wow
<Jarp> Hrm. I don't have a very broad colllection. that 8,000 is of maybe 20 girls.
<Jarp> don't have any particular favorite.
<shavenwookiee> 20 girls.. 400 poses each??
<Jarp> hrm
<Jarp> more of some
<Jarp> less of others
<shavenwookiee> so THAT's how you get your porn movies on dialup.
<screevo> ???
<shavenwookiee> you print up a set of one girl, staple them together, and flip the pages :D
<Jarp> it's like a movie, one frame at a time!
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Quote: 56829; Rating: 733; [+|-]
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<Moebius> remember when neptune was the farthest planet?
<Moebius> good times
|
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Quote: 56831; Rating: 353; [+|-]
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<mikes_> what does this mean? eth0: Promiscuous mode enabled.
<`> it means your ethernet card wants to party
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Quote: 56836; Rating: 601; [+|-]
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<Wohali> girls kissing on cbc
<math> WOOHOO!!!
<math> YAY CANADA!
<Wohali> now there's two boys getting ready to kiss.
<math> oh thats just gay
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