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Quote: 53856; Rating: 17; [+|-]
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<snookum> this reminds me of teens .. everyday..
<mulhollanddrive> u have pedophile eyes
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Quote: 53857; Rating: 87; [+|-]
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<Ktulu> Bob, so far - my day in this "everyday life" has consisted of waking up, having breakfast, playing games... and cracking jokes at your expense over IRC
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Quote: 53858; Rating: 319; [+|-]
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<MooFoo> Fuse, get yourself a shock rifle, that shoots instant blue shit and slow moving blue shit
<MooFoo> Also, if you manage to hit the slow moving blue shit with the instant blue shit, you will get an explosion of blue shit, that will turn the enemies into red shit
<Fuse> That's a lot fo shit
<MooFoo> fo real
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Quote: 53859; Rating: 245; [+|-]
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i am RAWK: you know, I don't think I ever really realized how much boys jack off before I started reading bash.org
i am RAWK: i mean, I kinna figured it was a frequent thing, but it seems astronomical now
QuakeZop: haha, I've done it fifteen times since you left here
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Quote: 53873; Rating: 247; [+|-]
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*** Idiot__ has joined #israel
<Baa0595> Wow. The first honest man on IRC.
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Quote: 53877; Rating: 250; [+|-]
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<Frozen_Shadow> OMG my cousin had sex with her dog, when i stayed the night at my aunts house, got up to go pee and her room is right by the bathroom and i walked past she had the light on and the door open
<cheesegoduk> what the hell frozen?
<cheesegoduk> your cousion was having sex with the dog
<Frozen_Shadow> yes
<cheesegoduk> what did she say when she saw you?
<Frozen_Shadow> she didnt say anything
<cheesegoduk> ?
<v_Ln|email> hahahahaha
<Frozen_Shadow> i just dont go to the bathroom in the middle of the night any more
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Quote: 53882; Rating: 213; [+|-]
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<wandarah> Quote added as #53880. Thanks for participating. :-)
<wandarah> :D
<arryola> you quoted me? YOU CUNT!
<arryola> ...
<arryola> argh
* arryola refrains from speaking
<wandarah> Quote added as #53881. Thanks for participating. :-)
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Quote: 53898; Rating: 149; [+|-]
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sweet-dick: my dick very up baby
chika: aww... so up that you forget the predicate? ;)
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Quote: 53901; Rating: 99; [+|-]
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<Jaz> there is not enough time in the history of civilisation to watch all the pr0n on earth
<utopian> 1000 videos on 1000 screens
<utopian> all at once
<utopian> the law of statistics says you'll see a shakespearean sonnet sooner or later
<Jaz> im sure john T bone has done a pr0n shakespeare
<utopian> sure, according to the law of statistics...
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Quote: 53923; Rating: 672; [+|-]
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RonnieOchsleder: Do you use Trillian for chat? It rox.
fromagie: probably
fromagie: i use adium
fromagie: i haven't tried trillian - i shall
RonnieOchsleder: It has lots of nice little icons.
fromagie: oooh icons
fromagie: looking now
fromagie: ah, it's for windows? I no have windows
RonnieOchsleder: Yeah, it might just be for Windows.
RonnieOchsleder: Fu - sorry - ck.
fromagie: It's o - dick - kay
RonnieOchsleder: That's good to kn - fuck off, then - ow.
fromagie: Okay, nice tal - moron - king to you. Take it - up the ass - easy.
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Quote: 53932; Rating: 477; [+|-]
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Number-6: i should get a PO box while i'm at the post office
angryskul: ok
angryskul: so my dad had a PO box
angryskul: but not at the post office, at this little photo/copy mailbox kinkos like place
angryskul: anyhow, he also used to get voicemail there because he didnt' want his insane clients calling the house
angryskul: he used to have to reach over the counter to grab his voicemail
angryskul: after a while he got the guy to install a phone inside his box
angryskul: one day he's all checking his mail, then he reaches in and pulls out the phone
angryskul: punches in some numbers
angryskul: then he notices this dude _staring_ at him
angryskul: anyhow, so he finishes, puts the phone back into the box and locks it
angryskul: outside the guy catches up with him and is all like..
angryskul: "are you in mossad?"
angryskul: (israeli secret police)
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Quote: 53934; Rating: 375; [+|-]
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<PamelaPeaks> man my assistant is eating some weird ass sausage that smells like farts
<rooster> hrm
<dedd[afk]> yummy
<rooster> weird "ass sausages"
<rooster> or weird ass "sausages"
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Quote: 53939; Rating: 1683; [+|-]
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<quintessential> HOLY SHIT! SOMEONE JUST FIRED A FIRECRACKER ONTO MY BALCNONY
<kuntraver> heh
<quintessential> i should close teh door, but its not a noisy one, its just a sparkler on steroids i tink
<kuntraver> anyhoo, how are the submissions going?
<quintessential> ok, i just uploaded a batch yesterday
<quintessential> wtf
<kuntraver> ?
<quintessential> CRAP MY CAT IS ON FIRE!!!!!!
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Quote: 53941; Rating: 111; [+|-]
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<+Tolkien`> chicks will only last a while
<+Tolkien`> i can use my comp all night
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Quote: 53945; Rating: 133; [+|-]
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Ashanth: What would you do if you had athletes foot, and your girlfriend had a foot fetish, and she got athletes vagina?
pnkgoetz: all she'd have to do was get some BOOM!! Tough Actin Vinactin
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Quote: 53960; Rating: 211; [+|-]
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<bb-w3rk> If Received By: Pay this Amount:
<bb-w3rk> 12/20/02 $25,692.40
<bb-w3rk> 12/30/02 $25,712.75
<bb-w3rk> 01/09/03 $25,733.09
<bb-w3rk> :(
<ESD-Wyrk> ...
<ESD-Wyrk> wtf is that
<bb-w3rk> damn tab at the liquor store
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Quote: 53961; Rating: 124; [+|-]
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<Mak0> i am a pr0nstar
<vocalizedWHORE> Mak0, is that you on goatse?
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Quote: 53978; Rating: 162; [+|-]
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<Amish> women are psychotic
<Amish> cats are great pets for them though
<Xenopax> because they are cold and only want attention when you don't want to give it to them?
<Amish> that, and you get to kick them when they aren't looking
<Amish> JUST KIDDING PETA
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Quote: 53984; Rating: 294; [+|-]
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<[Smoke]> "Every gay club in the world owns one and only one CD, a disc entitled "TRANCE-A-HOLIC TECHNO BEAT CLUB HAPPYCORE TRANCE NATION DRUMSTEP BIG BEAT DISCO REMIX FEVER." This CD has three tracks, all of which have the same four-on-the-floor rhythm that loops for roughly 100 minutes and is accompanied by a woman
moaning, "ooohhhh ahhhh oowwweeeeee!" at random intervals while a $199 Roland "DJ In a Box" synth plays up to three different minor chords"
<NrgSpoon> ph33r the Real Folk Blues chiptune
<[Smoke]> "Homosexuals love this CD; it's like turning on a porch light and watching the waves of June Bugs and moths fly in and and start making out with each other."
<NrgSpoon> damn. i think my comment got sandwiched into gay sex
<NrgSpoon> it was so young, too.
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Quote: 53986; Rating: 14; [+|-]
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<Vented> I wake up and go "fuck work, fuck work"
<Vented> i give my thanks to my job :)
<TheJesus> that's the trick
<TheJesus> if you mess up and do <go to work> <say fuck work, fuck work> in the wrong order, you get in trouble
<Vented> hahah :)
<Vented> you can always delete the two files, then recreate them in the correct order
<Vented> or just "touch" <go to work> so it has a later date stamp
<Vented> then no one will know what happened :)
<TheJesus> hahahaha
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Quote: 53992; Rating: 302; [+|-]
|
-Taking place in a Battlefield 1942 game-
<monk|GC> one time i saw a guy with binoculars, he was just standing there for like, 5 minutes
<monk|GC> and i asked what are you doing. he says if i wait long enough the lasers will kill all of them
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Quote: 54009; Rating: 189; [+|-]
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<rh-Raz_w3rk> if im not married by the time im 30, im going to slaughter a newly married couple
<rh-Raz_w3rk> i like to set goals for myself
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Quote: 54011; Rating: 491; [+|-]
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<alakriti> Real programmers don't comment their code. It was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.
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Quote: 54019; Rating: 69; [+|-]
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<Jason> i've onyl done acid in my eye
<Jason> or snocapped my bud wit it
<Budda> fuck that shit its not gettin near my eyes
<Budda> i mean fuck my lungs
<Budda> but im keepin my eyes
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Quote: 54029; Rating: 346; [+|-]
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<Torontoye> Hi guys,. i have a P90 24mg Ram,.I would like to make it a gateway,. how much Swap space should i give it??
<afterstep> Torontoye: 24 milligrams of ram?
<afterstep> oh, i'd say about an ounce or so of swap.
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Quote: 54040; Rating: 265; [+|-]
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<XtG|HW> and only an uncle would beat the shit out of the great hio after hio hit a manoower truck
<TheGreatHio> manoower?
<XtG|HW> manoower
<TheGreatHio> i think you mean Manure
<XtG|HW> no
<XtG|HW> manoower
<TerraxNovae> WTF is that
<XtG|HW> poop
<XtG|HW> manoower
<TerraxNovae> BWAHAHAH MANURE!
<XtG|HW> shit.
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Quote: 54046; Rating: 401; [+|-]
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<MY2K> can you hear me? :P
<TheDingo> no
* MY2K has left #8-bit.theater
* MY2K has joined #8-bit.theater
<TheDingo> still can't hear you
* MY2K has left #8-bit.theater
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Quote: 54048; Rating: 202; [+|-]
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<Afsan> the question is.. would the fbi suspect a terrorist from a university in Australia? arn't we ment to be the good guys?
<Gothmog> we're everywhere...
<Gothmog> i mean...
<Gothmog> _they're_ everywhere
<Gothmog> phew lucky save there
<Afsan> yes you almost exposed us!
<Afsan> one of your camels must now be castrated!
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Quote: 54074; Rating: 588; [+|-]
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Cat1013: Whoops
Cat1013: I just really confused my grandma.
HermitKing: She has IM?
Cat1013: She just got it. I was talking to her, and she asked about my new car.
Cat1013: I said that it was fine, but that it makes a funny noise whenever I shift.
HermitKing: So?
Cat1013: I left the "f" out of "shift".
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Quote: 54086; Rating: 189; [+|-]
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<Fluff_Daddy|sortofaway> we have two horses outside our halls
<Fluff_Daddy|sortofaway> one of them is hung like a fucking
<Fluff_Daddy|sortofaway> i dunno what man
<Fluff_Daddy|sortofaway> but he has one ginormous fucking penis!
<Fluff_Daddy|sortofaway> I got a picture of it too!!!
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Quote: 54087; Rating: 241; [+|-]
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<Socrates> why do i get .06 kbps from kazaa....
<Socrates> thats 60 bits.. i can almost type that fast
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Quote: 54099; Rating: 1335; [+|-]
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EmoKidDavey: I once masturbated 24 times in 24 hours
Fallen Tabris: O_O
Fallen Tabris: That's really unhealthy.
Fallen Tabris: How much juice did you get out?
Fallen Tabris: when you have so little left, is it even called masturbating any more?
Fallen Tabris: When you've done it that many times in a day.
EmoKidDavey: yeah
EmoKidDavey: a stick comes out and a flag unfurls that says bang
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Quote: 54110; Rating: 172; [+|-]
|
<kow> anyone know where active desktop info is stored in win2k?
<kow> like the HTML files
<APE_> same place bill gates hides the porn in win2k
<kow> fuck
<kow> I'm not gonna find it right?
<APE_> theres 200mb worth of porn built into windows, i mean how do u think it got that large?
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Quote: 54120; Rating: 882; [+|-]
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Seppuko I: ever jack a guy off with your feet?
PrettyPrincess1: no
Seppuko I: do you want to?
PrettyPrincess1 no
Seppuko I: would you if asked?
PrettyPrincess1: no
Seppuko I: what if he had a gun to your head?
PrettyPrincess1: yea
Seppuko I: SCORE
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Quote: 54134; Rating: 209; [+|-]
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<Kalony> i thought it was some cool hand of fate deal or something
<dredg> fate needs to deal me a sandwich
<Kalony> fate could deal me a hand job too
<Kalony> preferably after washing its hands
<dredg> and then washing its hands before it made my sandwich
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Quote: 54142; Rating: 110; [+|-]
|
MattDavis: i have to re-do an application because i misspelled "republic", leaving out the L
MattDavis: no joke, it says repubic
MattDavis: no spellcheck when you write by hand
MattDavis: that's what i get for masturbating while doing grad school apps
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Quote: 54163; Rating: 107; [+|-]
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<bladezero> Hey guys, i need u to help me solve the porblem i got
<zefer> k, shoot
<bladezero> well i really like this girl and i want to impress her should i buy her a rose?
<zefer> lol, if u wana say u like her with a rose all ure saying is "I'm cheap"
<bladezero> o shit, should i buy her a bouquet then?
<zefer> no cuz then she'll think ure just trying to buy her over
<bladezero> then what do i do damnit, this is like the first girl ive ever really liked
<zefer> buy her some chocolates. U cant go wrong with chocolates, i say when in doubt look to the chocolate.
<bladezero> ok thanks man bye :)
<majinTB> uhh u sure thats a good motto to live by?
<zefer> no ha ha but hes gonna fatten this girl up real nice and then he'll either 1) dump her or 2) she'll get desperate and settle with a loser like him who can't even deal with what to get a girl on a date.
<zefer> way to "let your heart decide."
<majinTB> ha ha yea what a dumbass
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Quote: 54173; Rating: 448; [+|-]
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<Zoogle> So my mom comes in to my room and starts bitching about how pirating software is immoral and wrong and is worse than stealing.
<Zoogle> When she's all done she gives me 2 cd's and says "Oh, and can you copy these for me?"
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Quote: 54191; Rating: 295; [+|-]
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<KamiKaze-> im still a virgin
<KamiKaze-> .
<KamiKaze-> oh shit that msg was meant for jennyf16uk
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Quote: 54193; Rating: 356; [+|-]
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<CowboyNeal> I got email once from someone who said that /. was "tryin to keep a nigga down"
<CowboyNeal> I told him I didn't appreciate him using that term to refer to our people
<CowboyNeal> race card played and redealt, muhahaha
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Quote: 54202; Rating: 339; [+|-]
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<+skrath> I don't think I'm better than others, it just so happens that so far, statistically, I am
|
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Quote: 54203; Rating: 480; [+|-]
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<`Grimm`> you know whats the darndest thing is? its when you mom calls you a son of a bitch, im like, wait a minute, who's the bitch?
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Quote: 54223; Rating: 533; [+|-]
|
DibbLe: ive come to a realization
Daemonite: ?
DibbLe: violent games like cs, bf1942 and quake DO influence kids to shoot people and commit violent acts
DibbLe: but not because theyre imitating the game, its because everyone who plays them acts SO FUCKING STUPID YOU HOPE THEY ALL DIE
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Quote: 54237; Rating: 76; [+|-]
|
<Soul`is`away> I was ashamed of the latest KMart catalogue
<Soul`is`away> Flipped to the games bit...
<Soul`is`away> Xbox and PS2, but no cube AT ALL
<risq> there are no gamecubes in ANY catalogues
<Soul`is`away> WHY NOT!>
<Onikage> maybe after they put in the xbox, there was no room for the cube
|
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Quote: 54239; Rating: 416; [+|-]
|
<Loco-san> I'm gonna make a game called With Myself, so kids will say "I'm gonna go play With Myself" and freak their parents/friends out
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Quote: 54240; Rating: 273; [+|-]
|
<Macabre> dammit, y'know what? tday I was waiting for a cab, and the chick next to me was like, hey cutie. And I wink, then she looks down at my crotch, smiles for abit, then smacks my face.
<Macabre> IN FROTN OF ALMSOT 500 FUKCING PEPLE!!
<Macabre> Y'know why?
<Macabre> BEcause I was holing my handphone in my right hand pocket, and it started vibrating because I got a call. I dunno about yous guys phones, but mine vibrates like a pussy vibrator, ie really pwoerfully
<Macabre> she must have thought I was wacking to her or something.. :(
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|
Quote: 54244; Rating: 161; [+|-]
|
<|Robot|Pimpbot> I SWEAR TO GOD I WISH I COULD JUST REACH THROUGH THE INTERNET AND KILL PPL SOMETIMES
<|Robot|Pimpbot> does anyone know if that will be part of Internet v2?
<{RA}SKY-UED3> yeah
<{RA}SKY-UED3> but youll have to pay a tax on it
<{RA}SKY-UED3> and stand in a line
<|Robot|Pimpbot> im willing
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Quote: 54250; Rating: 339; [+|-]
|
<Keiichi> the BSOD doesn't mean you win anything
<PrettzL> It's not like triple sevens :P
<Keiichi> not even close
<Keiichi> it's more like the slot machine punches you in the face and laughs
|
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Quote: 54253; Rating: 445; [+|-]
|
<MicrophoneJoe> Fuck me Bowmer is fat
<MicrophoneJoe> Are you talking about masturbation ZoK?
<ZoK> What else takes about 5 mins and involves lubrication?
<MicrophoneJoe> Bowmer putting on a T-Shirt
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Quote: 54258; Rating: 145; [+|-]
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<ceydn> Okey dokey, I'm going out
<wrath> He's going out like a deaf kid playing musical chairs
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