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Quote: 41713; Rating: 150; [+|-]
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<Mr_Rabies> Spyware is Jewish
<'Wraith> I take offense to that
<Mr_Rabies> well spyware doesnt eat beef
<SKnight> technically, spyware doesnt believe in Jesus either : |
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Quote: 41722; Rating: 299; [+|-]
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* }Phoenix{ has joined #haxxors
<}Phoenix{> Hey, everybody type in /beep 31337 if you wanna be super-leet
<@Tyreal> Dont do it
<jackle> /beep 31337
<redwing> /beep 31337
<GangstaUO> /beep 31337
<jackle> gah!!! |
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Quote: 41724; Rating: -13; [+|-]
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<spiteful> the one day rule is when i get to "chill" with you because it only takes a day for you to get a new guy...
<S4L3M> you're such a lamer
<S4L3M> could you tell your brother i can't come on wednesday?
<spiteful> i could... *couch*onedayrule*cough*
<S4L3M> or i could just call him instead and tell him myself and ignore that last little attempt at blackmail
* S4L3M smacks you in the back of the head
<S4L3M> *THUNK* idiot |
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Quote: 41726; Rating: 226; [+|-]
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<fuzzwad> theres like that one kid in every state that goes to best buy JUST to destroy the controller
<fuzzwad> you know the one that smells funny and follows you around
<fuzzwad> STARING at you...
<fuzzwad> I WANT TO SQUEEZE A LEMON IN THAT KID'S EYE
<Lazz> wow
<Lazz> how can you fit a lemon in an eye?
<fuzzwad> ILL FIND OUT!!! |
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Quote: 41736; Rating: 138; [+|-]
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<Lisa_W> ah, vevery woman's fantasy, 1,000,000s of mindless drones doing what she says....and they call her queen
<Lisa_W> but we'll only want the one that acts like a jerk lol |
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Quote: 41741; Rating: 695; [+|-]
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<Rodney> damn mom still on ebay
<territory> lol
<territory> ur selling ur mom? |
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Quote: 41743; Rating: 205; [+|-]
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<+aisha-fan> dude
<+aisha-fan> my moms boss brougt in a "new" penteium I
<+aisha-fan> those things r so old their obsoleet
<@MewMew[WC3]> As is correct spelling, I presume. |
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Quote: 41752; Rating: 187; [+|-]
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<Endura> Man, don't you just hate it when you are with your parents in front of important people and all of the sudden...you're hard and it won't go down? |
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Quote: 41754; Rating: 484; [+|-]
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<Nark> anyone ever put a hole in your bed matress then, grease it up alot, then stick your joint inside and begine to thust? And then your shit got tangled in a spring and all of a sudden you realize that this was a REALLY fucking bad idea? |
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Quote: 41756; Rating: 142; [+|-]
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<citrus-> hehe, some guy called me a few weeks ago, asking if I would like more TV channels to watch. (Obviously selling some cable stuff) so I said 'Yes I would' and hung up |
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Quote: 41757; Rating: 40; [+|-]
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<Arno> damn 23 meg avi
<Arno> and it's not even pr0n
<ANSi5> then why waste your time? :P |
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Quote: 41771; Rating: 600; [+|-]
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<naga> 'dixy normus' won for class princess this year at our school
<naga> at the assembly, they called her name, but she didn't come down to take the prize
<naga> took 'em 5 minutes to figure it out
<parnbl00d> sounds sexual.
<parnbl00d> was she absent or somethin? |
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Quote: 41779; Rating: 29; [+|-]
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<[mN]Cracker> cept my smelly grandparents are in the kitchen
<[mN]Cracker> AND THEY SMELL SO BAD
<[mN]Cracker> THEY SMELL LIKE THEY SHOULD BE DEAD ALREADY
<[mN]Cracker> gawd |
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Quote: 41781; Rating: 248; [+|-]
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<NoAzRk> So everyday I make my pb&j when I get home. One night I wake up for a snack and go to the kitchen. Moms smeared peanut butter and has the dog lapping.
<Argmyeye> sick! what did you do?
<NoAzRk> I made a fucking pb&j when she was done. I was hungry. |
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Quote: 41784; Rating: -32; [+|-]
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<Y2Jesus> [Clone Scanning: #pokebattle]
<Y2Jesus> 6 Match(es) Found
<Y2Jesus> LavosPhoenix: *!*@*.ipt.aol.com
<Y2Jesus> red13n: *!*@*.ipt.aol.com
<Y2Jesus> MrTest: *!*@*.ipt.aol.com
<Y2Jesus> Platinum: *!*@*.ipt.aol.com
<Y2Jesus> SirChris: *!*@*.ipt.aol.com
<Y2Jesus> Xantrix: *!*@*.ipt.aol.com
<Y2Jesus> [End of Clone Scan for: #pokebattle] |
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Quote: 41787; Rating: 350; [+|-]
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*** Joins: Pan`Da` ([email protected])
<Pan`Da`> clamp the area between my asshole and testicles with my fingers, the 'taint' as its often called, then i jerk off.. when im about to ejaculate, i can delay it for like 10 secs, then it flies across the room.
<JoanDeArc> Pan`Da`: was that a wrong window?
<Pan`Da`> WTF?? |
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Quote: 41789; Rating: 347; [+|-]
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* Fireball kicks his computer.. why won't you mount the ipod?
<nica> maybe it's not interested?
<William> :^D
<nica> maybe a bit of wine and some candle light? ;)
<Puppeteer> Fire- Uhm... it's not a Mac?
<nica> KillJoy says, "maybe it's having troubles... viagra?"
<William> Show it porn of Yum, the iMac girl?
<nica> =D
* Fireball grumbles... perverts |
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Quote: 41797; Rating: 175; [+|-]
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<danicgross> hacking is very complex
<@Frakes> really?
<danicgross> do u hack
<@Frakes> goodness me no .....what tools would one need?
<danicgross> well
<danicgross> a computer
<danicgross> internet
<@Frakes> ah yes ......got both of those
<danicgross> and skill
<@Frakes> hmmm sadly lacking in the latter
<TheLurker> danicgross: you didn't haxor me did you
<danicgross> are u tempting me
<TheLurker> no
<danicgross> you tempting me arrentyou
<TheLurker> ok, tell you what, tell you what
<TheLurker> i have 2 hard drives, c and d
<TheLurker> on drive d tell me how many folders there are in the root
<danicgross> just a sec
* TheLurker drums his fingers
* @Frakes accompanies with the triangle
<TheLurker> look, just give up
<TheLurker> you obviously suck at this
<TheLurker> have you, in fact, ever hacked anything apart from your own penis? |
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Quote: 41801; Rating: 289; [+|-]
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<zerg> if you ever got pregnant would you get an abortion?
<S4L3M> no
<zerg> adoption?
<S4L3M> no
<zerg> keep it?
<S4L3M> of course!! i prefer to know my spawns so i can bestow upon them all my evilness and evil ways and evil knowledge...
<S4L3M> how else will i ever rule the world? fool. |
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Quote: 41803; Rating: 320; [+|-]
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<Fozie> XIRWW.
<Fozie> XJEE.
* harm reports foz to dept of anti american activities
* Fozie reports harm to the zoo, ourangutang enclosure
<harm> i got owned yet again :(
<harm> ok this is it its razorblade time for me
* harm has quit IRC
* harm has joined #Proghouse
<harm> wtf goddamn mach3 protective bars
<Fozie> haha you suck at the suicide |
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Quote: 41814; Rating: 29; [+|-]
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<WillaCuz> i dont wanna ride solo though
<pagan> ya batman aint shit w/o robin :(
<pagan> just another nigga in an expensive car
<WillaCuz> yup |
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Quote: 41820; Rating: 30; [+|-]
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<jonathans> i want to raise goats.
<@Neutral-> <3 goats and their tendency to push backwards when on the edge of a cliff
<synth3tic> So I guess you know why you put a goat on the endge of a cliff when you fuck it
<synth3tic> ....so he pushes back
<jonathans> 'he'
<synth3tic> yes.. 'he'
<@Neutral-> Position cock strategically
<@Neutral-> And wait for the push. |
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Quote: 41821; Rating: 295; [+|-]
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<spritegoddess> I had some kid call me up at work today
<spritegoddess> (I work at TRU)
<spritegoddess> asking me for help in Vice City
<spritegoddess> and he sounded like he was maybe...10
<spritegoddess> I don't know why he was calling the place where he bought the game for in-game help
<Mank> Probably because his mom told him to, sprite.
<spritegoddess> "It's ok sweetie, ask the nice toys 'r us lady about the prostitutes" |
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Quote: 41822; Rating: 162; [+|-]
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<gate> you're working on a degree in politics, dont call other people retarded =P |
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Quote: 41823; Rating: -75; [+|-]
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* CHANFIX ([email protected]) has joined #asker-crew
* services.int sets mode: +o CHANFIX
* CHANFIX was kicked by A-Info (net: #asker-crew is closed)
* A-Info sets mode: +b *!*@services.int
* A-Virus ([email protected]) has left #asker-crew
* A-Virus ([email protected]) has joined #asker-crew
* CHANFIX ([email protected]) has joined #asker-crew
* services.int sets mode: +o CHANFIX
* CHANFIX sets mode: +o A-Virus
* CHANFIX ([email protected]) has left #asker-crew |
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Quote: 41824; Rating: 365; [+|-]
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<tigga> (_|_) (|_) (_|_) (_|) (_|_)
<tigga> thats u shakin ur (_|_)
<S4L3M> and this is you when i do it: 8=M==D 8===MD 8=M==D 8===MD |
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Quote: 41825; Rating: 1924; [+|-]
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<mh_> str8 up mf i was afkin 4 a sec & that mutha goes all stfu on me
<mh_> wtf? 4 nothin at all
* harm consults Oxford's Non-Abridged Gangsta Abbreviations Explicator
<mh_> gtof
* harm consults harder |
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Quote: 41845; Rating: 270; [+|-]
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<dyno> Anyone ever gotten the error "Network Cable Unplugged" ?
<kash[]> yea it means your network cable is unpluged
<dyno> at first I thought it was because of an IRQ setting, but we fixed that.. and I am still getting that error. |
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Quote: 41851; Rating: 702; [+|-]
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*** joet ([email protected]) has joined #javascript
<joet> hey
<Object> hey joe
<yossarian> where you going with that gun of yours?
<yossarian> hey joe, i heard you shot your woman down
<[Roosta]> shot her down to the ground?
<joet> umm huh?
<impatient> hey joe, where you gonna run to now?
<joet> I think you have me mistakened with somone else |
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Quote: 41855; Rating: 340; [+|-]
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* +abinnie has an english essay to do before his teacher realises the floppy disc he gave her has holes punched in the media
<@quip> :D
<+abinnie> and is actually a dos boot disc
<@FrozenFood> lol |
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Quote: 41858; Rating: 838; [+|-]
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<Sober|wrk> heh
<Sober|wrk> lol
<Sober|wrk> my co-worker is throwing a ball
<Sober|wrk> up in the air to relieve some stress
<Sober|wrk> she just smashed it into a ceiling panel and knocked it down on her head |
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Quote: 41863; Rating: 193; [+|-]
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u00ab caffeine-killer u00bb can someone help me with how to protect your computer from mirc |
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Quote: 41882; Rating: 353; [+|-]
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<@Dza> you g/f's so fat her pic is ~3 megs? |
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Quote: 41884; Rating: 258; [+|-]
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<Wayne-aw> 99.9% of the time, the problem lies between the keyboard and the chair. |
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Quote: 41890; Rating: 708; [+|-]
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*** Drive_by_Banning has joined #x1
*** ChanServ sets mode: +o Drive_by_Banning
*** Drive_by_Banning sets mode: +b *!*@*.aol.com
*** Assassin was kicked by Drive_by_Banning (out!)
*** Drive_by_Banning has left #x1 |
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Quote: 41895; Rating: 412; [+|-]
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<0oyeaho0> Hey, i have a new boyfriend.u00a0 hes so dreamy, and i'm so in love with him.u00a0 Hes so nice and sweet.u00a0 I just adore him.u00a0 I feel like ive known him forever.
<oaklandfoo1> where's he from?
<0oyeaho0> uh, im not sure. |
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Quote: 41896; Rating: 197; [+|-]
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(Sober|smk) 905-847-6000fuck
(Sober|smk) er
(Sober|smk) mental note
(Sober|smk) never use irc as notepad
(Sober|smk) u will forget and hit enter :) |
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Quote: 41903; Rating: 561; [+|-]
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<Denium> cassy do you mind if i delegate something to ya?
<Cassy> as long as i can do it in the morning ....i'm totally dead .....had a gig earlier tonight and i'm like a zombie lol
<Denium> wow
<Denium> i only do like 500mb/day
<Denium> at most
<Cassy> a SHOW
<Denium> ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
<Cassy> you know ....play music!? |
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Quote: 41922; Rating: 205; [+|-]
|
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<TNK> sweden is the most wasted land in the world- so many beautiful girls, and because it's cold there they wear too many clothes =] |
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Quote: 41949; Rating: 536; [+|-]
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<Nago> JESUS IS A COOL GUY! I BET HE LIKED PORNO!
<Pete> I bet he liked bondage
<Pete> took it too seriousley one day though.... |
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Quote: 41955; Rating: 48; [+|-]
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<Nago> i saw this sticker
<Nago> that said
<Nago> Got Jesus?
<Nago> and i was thinking
<Nago> got milk? i want a glass of jesus.
<Nago> Jesus h. christ.
<Nago> id like a glass of that.
<Venoman> frothy warm glass-o-christ |
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Quote: 41958; Rating: 171; [+|-]
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<@BloodNose> ooh, I could be getting cable in the next 2 months-ish
<@BloodNose> :D:DD
<@BloodNose> what's that WBu00a0 of blender's that makes some reference to me getting cable, can anyone remember?
<@BloodNose> it's like "the day blood gets cable, I'll <something something>"
<@sevr> "quit sucking cock"
<@sevr> keep in mind tho he never thought you'd get cable :/ |
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Quote: 41967; Rating: 337; [+|-]
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<Z> Long ago there were 2 kinds of cave men. The ones who hunted and slept with the women, producing strong children. The others hid alone in their part of the forest and made love to crude holes they carved in trees.. The hunters evolved into normal functioning adults of modern civilization. The others became linux users. |
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Quote: 41968; Rating: 279; [+|-]
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<qwerty> that girl told me its a sin to wank
<qwerty> and i deleted like 200 megs of pr0n :(
<xor|shabl> !@$N$:@NK$!K!@N
<Wanderer> muahahaha
<Kristoph> tell her you want to sin all over her face :D |
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Quote: 41974; Rating: 287; [+|-]
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<Ramza> there's this wierd kid watching everything that I type sitting beside me
<Ramza> yes you
<Ramza> I don't see anyone else
<Ramza> go away obviously I don't want you to do this |
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Quote: 42009; Rating: 500; [+|-]
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<cheesewad> I want to take nunchuck lessons so when I go to jail I can bust out with the soap on a roap and beat up all those ass fuckers.
<Allen4> What are you going to jail for?
<cheesewad> stealing soap on a rope. |
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Quote: 42020; Rating: 878; [+|-]
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<roman> skitzo, dude, when i was like 8 or something, i was on the floor .. on my back, trying to see my asshole.. and i was sucking air in with my asshole.. and farting it out.. when my brother walked in on me.. and i lost control of my stomach and a fucking turd popped out and landed on my chest |
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Quote: 42025; Rating: 343; [+|-]
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<DaGGeR> When you talk to a woman about sex it's sexual harassment but when they talk to you about sex it's $2.99 a minute =) |
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Quote: 42033; Rating: 315; [+|-]
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<AutistiCat> Anyone know how to get a halogen light bulb to fit into a halogen lamp thing?
<Ochopatas> Push on it
<AutistiCat> It has two little things sticking out and they won't go in...
<AutistiCat> If I push any harder it'll break before it goes in.
<Sensi> you slide it in and rotate the light. it should lock in
<AutistiCat> It won't slide in. It's like the holes are too small.
<Squinky> Wait until it passes adolescence. |
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Quote: 42034; Rating: 623; [+|-]
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<Ih8tjon> throwing a match into like, a BUCKET of gasoline won't do anything.
<Ih8tjon> cause, you know, the liquid will actually put it out before it can burn stuff.
<marek> m'am, i've just informed the good people at the Darwin Awards. They promised me they'd keep an eye on you. |
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